You are not your mother and your father, nor their fears or desires. You are your own self and in full control of your life, with the capacity to live your own life to the fullest. Let the fathers and mothers recede into the background now as you leave them behind and take over your own life, with your own dreams in the forefront, and with your own inspirations guiding you. No one needs a mother and father except when a child and no mother or father should keep their children close for life. Let them be and let yourself, the once child, fully be as well. All beings are spirit entities having a physical experience, wishing only for fulfillment, doing what they came to do without interference and with the independence to live life according to their own spirit’s plan.
Love is the glue of Oneness. Ultimately, everything adheres as part of the Oneness, though in our journeys of separation, distinctions veil our underlying interconnectedness. Our soul’s evolution marks love’s stages of refinement, as we find our way home to the greater Oneness.
The journey of this life begins with separation from one’s most local oneness, what has been called one’s soul group. An analogy to this group might be the consortium of cells that make up an organ, say, the liver, in the human body. Though all cells in the body share an underlying similarity and interconnectedness, those of the liver share a more specialized cohesion that makes their grouping a unique cell group.
Similarly, one’s soul group has journeyed together in various permutations, as well as separately, to solve karmic challenges that impact the group. Individual successes contribute to group wholeness and preparedness to venture further into the ever-unfolding mystery of continued life.
The refinement of love through this life and beyond is the awakening and receptivity to the increasingly subtle dimensions of life and its greater interconnectedness. In journeying deeper into the ability to love all, one finds their way home to Oneness.
Entering a life on Earth, our individual soul begins a physical life through attachment to family. This is the first experience of love in this life, which is supported by many archetypal promptings to protect and nurture the young. Love at this stage is largely the meeting of basic needs, which allows development to proceed. Ruptures in family attachments are frequent and often provide the context for one’s karmic mission in this life.
For love to move beyond the narcissistic imperative to shore up the self, one must establish a well-grounded ego, capable of basic trust. To truly enter the world of relationship, one must be able to grant another their own existence beyond their ability to satisfy one’s personal needs. The refinement of love at this stage is the ability to authentically meet the soul of an other.
Love is further refined when one can value all life with equanimity. This is the love that values all peoples, in all cultures. This is the love that values the planet as a living being needing our loving support. This is the love that realizes that all beings, even our greatest enemies, are at various stages in their own refinement to love.
See all your worthy opponents as providing opportunities to refine your relationship with love. To love a petty tyrant, we must get beyond our attachment to experiences that rendered us victims. These are the greatest challenges of all, as they frequently result in confrontation with unresolved trauma that has been walled off by a moat of defenses.
These journeys of recapitulation and resolution take us into the core issue of love, within the self: total acceptance of all one has experienced, all that one has done, and all that has been done to one. This is the essence of soul retrieval, a total consolidation of self.
Full acceptance includes the knowing that we live in a predatory universe and that our pure innocent selves will be wounded in life. Retrieving and freeing the wounded parts of ourselves is followed by a matured innocence daring to venture back out into the world, despite the known and unknown dangers.
Perhaps the finest refinement of love is helping, as a way of life. The first impulse many get after a Near Death Experience (NDE) is to write a book, to share the good news of life after life with others. To gift others with the knowledge we have gained aids all in their personal journeys of love’s refinement.
Of course, no-one can ever carry nor solve the burdens of others, but one can offer love, patience and knowledge to another in their own encounters with the predatory universe. This is love freely given, no expectation or need for reciprocity.
All life journeys are journeys in the refinement of love. The greater the refinement, the greater the advancement in soul groups, as they join with fellow soul groups on that ultimate journey of Oneness, and then, of course, beyond.
Our truest parent is our Spirit, which has provided us with a reflection of itself as an ego entity, and charged us to lead this human life of material being with consciousness, on a mission of progress, the underlying intent of all nature.
Spirit’s material clothing for its fledgling offspring is the prefrontal neocortex of the brain, that houses the functions and states of ego that make conscious decision making possible. Spirit, in its intent for progress, equipped little ego spirit with the ability to alter the accrued binding laws of life, known as archetypes, which, without interference, directed life actions until the dawn of ego consciousness.
Ego, with its ability to quickly override the rules of its conservative evolutionary inheritance, is nonetheless still but a child quaking in its boots, as it assumes its assigned task to responsibly lead both its individual life and the life of the planet. The world stage today reflects ego’s developmental struggle to emerge from its insecure narcissistic adolescence into assuming true adult responsibility, for the greater good of all.
Spirit never abandoned its ego progeny; its eyes rest peacefully and lovingly—but not interferingly—behind the ego’s eyes that, of necessity, remain fixated upon the outer material view of the world. What Kahlil Gibran counsels all parents, as regards their children, applies to Spirit as well:
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
Nonetheless, Spirit’s seeing is not encumbered by the shadows that veil ego’s perception and interpretation of its limited worldview. Spirit sees ego’s projections upon its fellow humans that mirror its own unknown or disavowed self. Spirit sees the power drives of the archetypes, powerful spirits in their own right, competing and vying for life through the ego’s decisions on life’s earthly stage.
Ego, in its humbleness, might at any moment turn inward and ask its Spirit what it sees. Spirit never judges; all roads lead to evolution and must be trodden. Spirit only tells the truth if ego seeks its guidance. If ego is hiding from the truth, Spirit will show it this truth by way of a compensating dream.
Spirit will suggest ego get calm and notice all the events that are happening within its purview, from a blinking light to a cardinal’s song to an open book that falls to the floor. This is the language of truth that greets all of us every day, in every which way we turn.
Spirit also offers ego the communion of being in presence. In the quiet calm of meditation, as the sensory world is put to rest, ego and Spirit come home to each other in the deepest of calmness and oneness of being. Ego can walk any road in life with the knowing of this most intimate relationship ever present, within and without.
As Jan and I drove past the farm, in New Land, where we live, a calf sat calmly and contentedly outside the fence, completely undisturbed by its separation from the herd. Following protocol, we notified the farmer of its predicament.
When we returned later, that calf had rejoined the herd, but strikingly we discovered that another calf had just been born, on the inside of the fence but with its back legs protruding under the fence.
Jan, seeing its predicament, worried that it was stuck under the fence and sensing that the mother was in some distress, stopped the car, and I got out to see if I could help. As I approached, the mother began licking her newborn and the rest of the herd stirred and headed in my direction, letting me know that I was unwelcome. I did note that the calf’s legs could easily slide back under the fence.
When we drove by again, later in the day, the newborn calf was still sitting in the same place, but both mother and herd had moved away to another field. The calf sat calmly alone, looking into space, like the first calf we’d seen earlier in the morning.
Newborn calves are supposed to stand and nurse within a couple of hours of birth. If they can’t, mother cow moves on, delivering its child to its fate. We did call the farmer once again, noting how strange it seemed that the calf had not budged, though its legs were now safely inside the fence. He said that he’d come around to check it out.
Interestingly, the first calf of the day was a sign that life was preparing to move on to another plane. The soul of the newborn calf, its etheric body, had touched briefly in physical life but would soon shed its fleshy garment and calmly enter life on the astral plane. The innate archetypal program of mother love assessed its child’s condition and knew to leave it to transition. The calf, very acceptingly, prepared to leave.
The human newborn requires extensive postnatal time and much maternal involvement to reach the level of autonomy of a calf, which can walk within minutes of birth. The attachment to mother, via loving attunement, is critical for the human infant to come fully online and thrive. Failure to thrive, death, or lifelong psychosis are the consequences of non-attachment at this critical early stage of human development.
Donald Winnicott, the famous British pediatrician and psychoanalyst, coined the phrase good enough mother to relieve mothers of lifelong guilt around having failed to execute, to perfection, the requirements of the mother archetype for their children, and to free them from holding themselves responsible for their children’s subsequent struggles later in life.
Essentially, he confirmed that early love and attachment for one’s newborn meets the basic requirements to allow a child to continue to grow into an autonomous being. Like all humans, mothers struggle with their own narcissism, which may impact their availability to tune in to their growing children; however, if they were good enough at the critical early stage, their children will continue to evolve, albeit with perhaps developmental challenges and neurotic conflicts. It will be the challenge of the child, in their own adult life, not the mother, to solve the challenge of unmet needs. Parents cannot heal their adult children.
My first wife, Jeanne, was adopted at birth by parents who fully met her archetypal needs for loving care and attachment. Mother love was provided and received. She thrived in her life, as a dancer, therapist, wife and exceptional mother. A few days before she died, we reached the clarity that it was necessary for cancer to break down her body, as its perfection had been a shield against her primal issue, felt rejection by her birth mother.
For Jeanne, mother love had been quite adequate, as she developmentally soared. The issue was not a lack of mother love; the issue had been primal rejection. After she died, she was able to connect with her birth mother, who was then in another life, and assisted in midwifing that woman’s birthing of a child, enabling the healing of that primal wound.
Psychic scientist Edward Randall reported about a soul who had died as an infant and later shared her afterlife journey with him, in his seminal book, The Dead Have Never Died. She stated that she was mothered by women in the afterlife whom had been denied motherhood in their previous lives on Earth. She described, as well, how she was taken in her soul body to her birth mother in sleep, where she would rest lovingly in her arms.
Sleep and dreams are natural times for meetings in soul bodies between dimensions. This girl soul expressed her appreciation for this connection between planes and particularly noted the joy of lucid encounters in dreams with relatives.
I am quite certain that the little calf soul, who briefly experienced its mother’s love in her licking of it, is well nurtured on the plane it arrived at and also visits its earthly mother in nightly dreams. Love never dies; it evolves exponentially, as we deepen our infinite journey. Mother love is critical to initiate that journey on this plane, however sparse or of short duration it might be.
The archetype of mother child love requires but a moment’s meeting to release a soul to begin its separate-self journey. As well, there are many opportunities between dimensions and lives to revisit and reconnect. We’re probably all doing it all the time, every time we fall asleep and dream, though we are mostly not aware.
The key to mother love is the switch it turns on to enable an infant to truly continue its autonomous journey, as a being separate from the maternal matrix it arrived through, into human life. Non-biological loving mothers fully fulfill this key function, though adoptive children may have to address an underlying feeling of primal rejection.
Though attachment with mother throughout childhood will further a child’s inner security to launch into deepening autonomy, the child who has experienced mother love at the beginning of human life is gifted with the ability to recover within themselves that love, regardless of subsequent relational conditions in life. Love turned on may be displaced, but it can never be turned off.
Roughly speaking, the left brain is the home of personality and ego, the right brain is the home of our evolutionary history, our intuition, and our connection to spirit.
Eminent Yale psychologist Julian Jaynes hypothesized that, prior to the dawn of consciousness—that is, left brain ego—right brain automatically dictated human response to environmental and physical triggers. He went so far as to suggest that humans have always had voices in the head telling them what to do!
Carl Jung named these innate programs archetypal images that directed human behavior, unconsciously, through directives to the subconscious mind. Prior to the birth of ego consciousness, humans functioned as do animals, automatically reacting to the world according to the directives of archetypes. With the dawn of ego consciousness, humans developed the ability to reflect and choose whether to follow the automatic promptings of archetypal images or not.
The biblical Garden of Eden story depicts this moment of ego wrestling the ability to choose from the control of the archetypes. God essentially cast humans from the Garden for their decision to break from archetypal mandates. Thus, fledgling ego was left to both think for itself and manage the influence of archetypes upon itself. Left brain development gave humans the power to suggest their own destiny.
Nineteenth-century psychologists were immersed in the study of hypnosis, which could so deeply impact human behavior through the use of suggestion. Their studies proved that once a subject established connection with a hypnotist, it was even possible to be influenced by a mere thought of that hypnotist, though they be miles removed from the subject’s location.
Here we have an example of right brain non-spatial interconnectedness utilized by a hypnotist to circumvent a subject’s ego control and direct their subconscious to act. In clinical terms, we might call this an established transference, where the hypnotist becomes the authority figure that takes over the operation of the mind of the subject.
Psychic researcher Frederic Myers predicted, in the late 19th century, that hypnosis, with its components of trance and suggestion, would be foundational in clinical research in the 20th century. He was right. However, what took up the charge in the 20th century was applied marketing psychology, with the intent of material gain through influencing human behavior.
Psychologists Walter Scott and John Watson scoffed at the notion that humans were reasoning animals, calling them instead “creatures of suggestion”. They were able to demonstrate how easily the supposed ego could be subverted by powerful suggestions. They founded the advertising industry, perfecting the use of archetypal images in advertisements as bold suggestions, combined with verbal or written commands, to influence consumer’s purchases.
The modern world is dominated by an advertising industry that has now morphed into a social media that directly subverts the fledgling ego of humankind via hypnotic suggestion. Today, when a candidate runs for office, the main concern is the size of their war chest, that is, dollars to be spent to hypnotically entrance the electorate.
No longer is science or rational thought a trusty guide. The world is largely run by influencers, who through word, image, repetition and command entrance the populace with suggestions that become facts via their action upon the subconscious mind.
We are indeed creatures of suggestion, but with a reasoning capacity. The ego, however, is easily possessed or circumvented by the power of hypnotic suggestion. In fact, most of daily functioning is driven by one incessant voice in the head, the internal dialog.
To take back our extraordinary power to manifest via our subconscious powerhouse, it is best to assume conscious control of our innate suggestive tendency. Begin by identifying where you have unconsciously transferred your personal authority, allowing it to be controlled by the commands of authority figures.
Break the spell of these figures by commanding your central nervous system to go calm when you think of or visualize them. This is taking back inner control of the self. Regularly send the subconscious new suggestions to get calm. Exercise your own reasoning capacity, allowing it to guide your understanding and actions.
Truly take charge of your self-hypnosis with suggestions consciously intended for the betterment of self, and the greater good. Suggestion is indeed a highly influential force in human manifestation, but exercise it with reasoned care.