Category Archives: Jan’s Blog

Welcome!

Currently, I put most of my energy into the weekly channeled messages, the daily Soulbytes, and the completion of The Recapitulation Diaries. An occasional blog does still get written when the creative urge strikes. Archived here are the blogs I wrote for many years about inner life and outer life, inner nature and outer nature. Perhaps my writings on life, as I see it and experience it, may offer you some small insight or different perspective as you take your own journey.

With gratitude for all that life teaches me, I share my experiences.

Jan Ketchel

Beyond Facebook: The Spirit of Maturity

With spirit’s intent there are no limits…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

This past week we withdrew from Facebook. We are no longer posting on it. We were always of two minds about using it. We didn’t use it in the way that most people use it, never having engaged in searching for old friends or using it to connect with people we knew.

We used it solely as a platform for our work, sort of as an extension of our website, but even so, we didn’t really like what was behind it. Last week’s testimony by whistleblower Frances Haugen clarified for us the deeper truth about it and underscored our persistent uneasiness.

We offer tools for healing from abuse and trauma. Our intent in sharing our work and our lessons in life has always been to offer what we’ve learned without strings attached, freely given. That is not, nor has it ever been, the intent of Facebook.

After listening to Haugen’s testimony, it became clear to us that the Facebook corporation has been complicit in systematically grooming young children, and even adults, to adopt addictive behaviors that lead to harmful and even damaging mental, physical and spiritual trauma. Though not necessarily malevolent in its intent, Facebook has nonetheless been neglectful in its effort to correct these commercially driven destructive practices.

How could we utilize Facebook and piggyback off it, when we are all about healing? How could we use a platform that has done harm to the innocent? How could we allow our healing work to sit on a platform that doesn’t care about people, only about making more and more money, no matter who falls by the wayside while they do it?

The time had finally come. What we had talked about for months, became the action of the day: remove our energy from Facebook and no longer use it to promote our healing work.

Although our pages, as previously published, still remain accessible, we do not look at them and, at some point, when we feel that everyone who has been used to reading us via Facebook has become familiarized with accessing us directly through our website, we will fully remove them.

Facebook has become the major social network to empower all citizens of the world to connect directly with each other. That in itself is not a bad thing. The byproduct of such access, however, has also entrapped much of the world’s energy in the insatiable need to be liked, what the shamans call the trap of self-importance. Self-importance and insatiable greed have undermined our moral compass.

Recent revelations have clearly exposed the preeminence of algorithms for profit over the common good, as the operating principle for the publicly traded Facebook corporation. From the economic perspective that values maximum profit as a most legitimate goal, Facebook is no different than most corporations. The old axiom, “the business of America is business”, has become anachronistic, driving us, in the extreme, to the brink of destruction.

Our planetary and species survival is contingent upon a way of life that accepts modesty, limitation and equanimity as its guiding principles. The quest for unlimited profit has compromised our moral underpinnings and the common good. We are evolving into a species that must operate from the place of truth and true need to insure our survival on our rapidly changing planet. This, as the new algorithm, places the true needs of the planet and its inhabitants above the profit motive.

What is the alternative? Specific to our decision to leave Facebook we call to the intent that those who would truly benefit from what we have to offer will find their way to our offerings. In fact, this has been the overarching intent that has always controlled the unfolding events of our lives.

The overarching intent of the individual spirits of all human beings is that we mature in this life. This spirit intent is materialized at the center of the subconscious mind, that which naturally attracts to it the physical circumstances necessary to advance its maturity.

The marketing psychologists of the early 20th century discovered and exploited this attractive function in the subconscious, which they infiltrated with advertising suggestions to make a profit. This drove a wedge in the human species, between listening to the guidance of the inner spirit vs the outer promptings of the marketplace, with all its hypnotic suggestions.

Spirit intent never abandoned human life, but the challenge for ego to  trust its guidance has greatly compromised its ability to choose wisely and trust its own heart and mind. Outside approval and likes have become the measure of personal value and has commandeered the direction of intent.

Take back your intent. Refuse the ruse and dependence upon a way of life that places the influence of heartless marketing above the truth of the heart. Trust that placing your intent upon your heart’s truth is all that is necessary to attract to you exactly what you truly need to advance your spirit’s maturity in this life. Advancing in maturity is the real solution to this world’s survival.

May the business of America become the Spirit of Maturity,

Jan and Chuck

Abuser in the Afterlife

It’s possible to communicate beyond the veils…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Several months ago, I found out that the man who had abused me during my childhood had died. A few weeks after his death he appeared in a dream.

Putting his arm over my shoulder, he hugged me gently and spoke some kind words. In the dream he was very loving, not at all how I knew him in real life. It was a little disconcerting to say the least. I was not sure what to make of it.

Then again, two months after that, he came in another dream. I am lucid, fully conscious of dreaming in this dream, fully aware of being with him. I have no reaction to being in his presence; I am as calm as calm can be.

We sit opposite each other, foreheads almost touching, looking directly into each other’s eyes. Once again he is kind, concerned, as he states: “SHE says I did this to you,” and he glances to the side, as if looking at someone standing offstage.

Then, he gestures with his hands and a scene from my childhood appears between us, suspended in midair. It’s like looking at an old movie; in the scene he is abusing me. I nod at him, and say, “Yes, it’s true, you did that to me.” I have no reaction; I am perfectly calm as I see the scene play out and as I tell him the truth, that it actually happened.

Again, he repeats, “SHE says I did this to you,” and once again he gestures with his hands, putting them together as if praying and then pulling them apart, and as he pulls them apart another scene of him abusing me materializes.

“Did I do this to you?” he asks, incredulous.

Again, I nod at him, and say, “Yes, it’s true, you did that to me.”

We sit like this, head to head, for a long time as he repeats, over and over again, “SHE said I did this to you,” glancing over his right shoulder toward the SHE whom I feel standing off to the side, observing, as he materializes yet another scene of him abusing me and which I acknowledge as truth. Again, I have no reaction to any of the traumatic scenes playing out between us. I do not wish to blame or shame him. I am perfectly calm and emotionally neutral.

As this plays out I realize that he has no memory of the life he has just lived, that he can’t remember anything that he had done. It appears that he’s going through a life review with SHE as his guide. He has total amnesia and appears flabbergasted every time I tell him that he did all those things to me. It’s as if he’s hearing about it for the first time.

We look squarely into each other’s eyes and I can see that he’s being honest, he simply does not remember; he’s a clean slate, with no memory whatsoever.

At first, I think I’m being challenged to recant my own life story, but then I see that this is not the case, that SHE is his teacher, helping him to recapitulate the life just lived. SHE appears to know everything about him. I sense that SHE brought us together, to help him remember.

I intuit that everyone must recapitulate at death, that all memory of the life just lived is lost and must be brought back into consciousness so that all can be reviewed and reconciled with in order to move on into a higher plane of existence.

The setting of the dream is desert-like, empty except for some low adobe buildings in the distance, which I intuit are spartan living quarters. Low dry brush, desert grasses and sand stretch in every direction as far as the eye can see. There’s a kind of dull light, not dark, not light, just kind of overcast, the temperature neither hot nor cold but comfortable.

After going through countless scenarios of the abuse he inflicted on me, we get up and he takes me over to a pile of long scrolls of tapestry lying on the ground, the frameworks upon which he must weave his just-lived life as he recapitulates, creating a large tapestry to study, learn from and evolve from.

SHE tells me that everyone does it when they come over,” he says, and he suggests that I pick one up and create a tapestry too, but I tell him that I don’t need to do that, that I’ve already done it.

“I already did a recapitulation,” I say, “my books, you know.”

He nods, but I sense that he still doesn’t understand that he did all the things he’s been told he did. He’s an empty vessel, unable to grasp, totally clueless, but he understands from SHE that it’s his job now to remember and to weave the tapestry. It will take him a long time, he says, because he can’t remember a darned thing. He shakes his head in disbelief.

I sense how low his energy is, as if he’s depressed, stunned or traumatized by what he’s learning about himself. It feels as if he’s being slowly eased into knowing a little at a time about who he had been, not the kindly man I met in the first dream, nor who he appears to be now but a cold-hearted pedophile.

How interesting, I think, that his overall personality is gentle and kindly, that though he was a pedophile in his last life that may not be who he actually is in his spirit body, but that it was a persona he wore in order to learn something or challenge himself with.

Later, I tell him that I love him because I know that he is genuinely trying to fathom what he had done, and I sense that the work he has to do on himself is being attended to with diligence and honesty, that he really wants to get to the truth. And I can love him for that.

Recapitulation, I tell him, is the key to advancement. He nods when I say this, still muttering that he just can’t believe what he’s been told he did.

As I leave, I see him hanging up the framework, preparing to begin the job of building the tapestry with the truth. I am happy to have helped him verify that truth.

As I walk away, I am perfectly calm and at peace, knowing that indeed my own recapitulation of my abusive childhood is done. There will still be other things to recapitulate I’m sure, but that at least is fully done.

Sending love,

Jan

J. E. Ketchel, Author of The Recapitulation Diaries and All The Gifts You Are Given

All The Gifts You Are Given

New Book by J. E. Ketchel

Dear Reader,

At some point in life, I decided I was not going to be a victim of my circumstances, but I had to question, what could I do to understand the circumstances that life had led me into? That was the beginning of my shamanic journey of recapitulation. The Recapitulation Diaries tell the story of that journey of change.

A new book, All The Gifts You Are Given: Re-imagining the life you are in, from a higher spiritual plane, gives further insight into how to question and evolve in the life circumstances we find ourselves in. This is not based on my own life but comes from a higher plane of knowledge, which we all have access to.

This new book could not have been written had I not taken the arduous journey of recapitulation, a journey to retrieval of my own soul and the journey it had thus far taken, understanding it all from a new and deeply satisfying perspective. Horrible and beautiful in its unfolding, that journey nonetheless brought me back to my true self and connection to the knowledge of the greater Universe of which we are all a part, that which we all sense and so long for.

This knowledge of and connection to the true spirit within all of us are what Chuck and I write and speak about, and with which we seek only to inspire others.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned from spirit is to have patience.

“Don’t push,” Spirit says, “if you wait, what you need will come to you in the right way.”

Sending you love,

Jan

Available on Amazon: All The Gifts You Are Given

How to Heal

I begin with the premise that all pain and illness, mental and physical, stem from psychological disharmony. If the psyche, the energetic manifestation of the spirit in the human mind, becomes disrupted, or infected, the result is disharmony, dis-ease, disturbance within the entire self: the body, the mind, and the spirit.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel of darkness…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

A Path of Recapitulation

There are many paths to healing. I took the path of recapitulation to heal from Complex PTSD, which stemmed from 16 years of sexual abuse that first occurred in early childhood and ended when I was 18. Those were my formative years and during that time I was inundated with not only the brutal sexual abuse but also the intense psychological repercussions of that abuse.

The human capacity to endure and survive, however, is incredible, but at what expense?

What my child self could not handle, either physically or mentally, my psyche and spirit handled, offering several pathways of protection so that life could continue. This is common in cases of abuse, where the body and the mind work in conjunction to hide from the fragile ego that which is harmful, painful, confusing, or damaging. In my case, all memory of what happened to me was wiped clean. At the time, it saved me, but later it came back to haunt me.

Hints of what had happened, though deeply buried within the person I became, began to arise, bringing with it the pain and discordancy that had been long buried. That’s when I realized I needed to find out, at the deepest of levels, why I had so much disharmony within myself, why I had so much physical pain and mental anguish, why I was so afraid of life, to the point of destroying all I had worked so hard for, all the paths of potential success that I refused to embark upon. Why was I so self-sabotaging, so self-negating, so self-deprecating? Why couldn’t I just be normal?

That was when recapitulation, as a path to healing, came into my life, a path of not only remembering, but of reliving, releasing, and resolving—a path to freedom.

An Adult Self

The first step before beginning a recapitulation is to shore up the adult self. A strong adult self in the house, in you, will help keep you focused and steady as you begin to walk the path of recapitulation.

During recapitulation you will often be in two worlds at once, in the present and in the past, and your adult self will keep you balanced, keeping one foot in each world so that you can continue to be fully functional and present in your everyday life.

Even if recapitulation proves not to be your path in this lifetime, it’s best to shore up that adult self anyway, it will make for a life that is more tolerable and steadier. And that adult self will help keep your pain at bay with good suggestions and tactics rather than those that further damage.

I had a good mature adult self already well established when I began my recapitulation. So that was not going to be a problem for me. And once I was given the opportunity to find out what was so wrong with me, I dove in, wanting more than anything to get to the bottom of things.

Shining a Light

The next step is to bring the light into the darkness of the self. This is scary because you may not know what you are going to find. Just be open. For once you begin to walk the path of recapitulation that light is going to be very important. Things will come to you, challenging you to take a closer look, showing you where you need to go, and the only way you will be able to fully know them is by bringing in the light.

When you bring the light into the darkness, things change. For the first time you begin to see the truth, and the truth is what matters. The light reveals the truth and the darkness disappears.

Trusting the Journey

As things arise, trusting in the journey becomes the next step.

Keep in mind that recapitulation is a healing journey. Keep in mind also that you are well protected and guided as you recapitulate, for, as an ancient practice, all those who have gone before you and carved the path are energetically supporting you on your journey. That’s a lot of positive energy!

Letting Go

As you walk the path of recapitulation you will be challenged to let things go, to let go of the comforts that you once used to protect yourself. This is a crucial step, for what once saved you in an old way becomes a blockage to a new path of healing.

Letting go means being free to embrace the fullness of your true self, the self that is waiting for you at the end of the tunnel of darkness.

As you let go of old ideas of the self, as you let go of shame and blame, of the pain and the anguish, as you shed all that once meant so much to you, you might feel as if you are disintegrating, but this is good disintegration, like a snake shedding its old skin and finding that it still exists in its wholeness, though the shedding of that old skin took quite an effort. It’s the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis, the chick from the egg, the seventeen-year locust emerging from the ground, having climbed through the dark earth to emerge into the light, against all odds.

Healing

I believe that we can all heal, from the deepest and most traumatic events and illnesses, those that physically challenge us and those that mentally challenge us.

If and when we are ready, our healing path will show up and ask us to take the journey toward healing. If we are not ready, that’s okay. It might not be the work of this lifetime. In the meantime, work on shoring up that adult self previously mentioned.

But, I suggest, that if you are hit over the head with something about yourself that knocks you off your feet, grab a light and take a look at it, and see where it leads. It might just be what you’ve always been looking for, your true self and the truth of yourself!

Sometimes the best way to heal is to stop seeking, to stop looking so hard, running to this path and that, thinking that this new cure will be the one, and to instead just sit down and wait to see what your spirit brings you. For the truth is that your spirit is with you always, has always been with you and knows you better than anyone. Your spirit has all the answers you seek. Ask you spirit to guide you.

The Recapitulation Diaries

I wrote The Recapitulation Diaries to show that full healing from Complex PTSD is possible, that even though you suffered greatly—more than I did, I’m sure—you too can heal.

It’s not an easy journey, but what journey is? You’ve already taken the hardest part of it, now you just have to remember so that you can clear your energy of all that infects you, for to go back to my beginning premise, all pain and illness, mental and physical, stems from psychological disharmony, from infection that has intercepted our energy field and contaminated us. Once we heal ourselves of those infections of energy a life of wonder awaits.

I won’t say any more today, though there is so much more to the healing path of recapitulation. My books tell the story. I would not be here today had I not taken that journey. That I am pretty sure of, or at least I would not be here writing this to you today, from the bottom of my heart, hoping that you too may heal.

Sending you love and healing energy,

Jan

The Recapitulation Diaries

The Execution of Lisa Montgomery: Contemplation of a Soul’s Journey

I woke up at 1:11 AM. I wondered at the significance of the time, often described as a divine sign. What did it mean? Something must be going on in the world, I thought. I am often struck by how something as simple as waking up and looking at the clock in the middle of the night has deeper meaning.

I was not surprised to read the news this morning that between the hour of 1 and 1:38 AM a woman was being executed on death row, and not just any woman but a woman who had suffered debilitating sexual abuse that had led her on a sadly devolving journey. She had committed a horrendous murder and was serving time in prison for that murder, but her story is an example of so many stories, stories that are never told, never exposed and never contemplated. Many people, women especially, have been sexually abused, but you would never know it because they will never mention it. In polite society, we prefer not to talk about sexual abuse.

One of the reasons I wrote The Recapitulation Diaries was to bring the topic to the table, in explicit detail, for how can we ever heal as a society if we do not talk about the dark side of society? How can we leave the children of sexual abuse to carry the dark secret but not deal with it ourselves?

As a child of sexual abuse, I know intimately some of the things that Lisa Montgomery endured and suffered. I have personally heard the stories of other people who have been sexually abused. There are as many stories as there are people, one story worse than the next. As a spiritual person, and after many years of work on myself to heal from the trauma of sexual abuse, I look for deeper meaning, in both a person’s life and a person’s soul journey.

We are all on a journey of the soul. I didn’t know this myself until I recapitulated what had happened to me in childhood and began to see a bigger picture, to understand that my journey through life was a learning process so that my soul could evolve. Some of us have come into this world with great challenges to face because we are prepared to take them on, because our soul decided that it could handle it. There is a part of me that always says, “I can handle anything!” I believe it’s that part of me that decided it could take on the life I am now living. Had I failed at the task I set for myself this time around, I’m sure I’d give it another go in the next life.

Perhaps Lisa Montgomery’s soul decided it could handle the life she lived too. Perhaps she learned great things in her lifetime that have advanced her on her soul’s journey; only she will know for sure. But if Lisa Montgomery’s life is to be an example for the rest of us, we have to ask the question: What are we to learn from the life of Lisa Montgomery?

Her story brings us back to the subject of sexual abuse. Her life story points out to us all that we have forgotten something, that we have let too many people suffer the consequences of a society that won’t face its dark side. We let others carry the burden of the dark secrets of our collective soul.

The tragic unfolding of Lisa Montgomery’s life spread a wide net, for it also had tragic repercussions for other’s, especially for the family of the young woman she murdered, the child she kidnapped, and all the members of that extended family. If we are to make sense of this tragedy we must look to ourselves for answers.

If we are to learn anything from Lisa Montgomery’s life it is that the subject of sexual abuse must not be put back under the table. Is her story even still news today? How many more children must suffer a lifetime of traumatic repercussions because their stories are not stories suitable to talk about?

Are we going to let the children of sexual abuse continue to bear the burden of the dark side of humanity? Are we going to face our own life challenges head on, with a bigger picture in mind, so that we may become contributing members of a society that refuses to sweep the disturbing parts of being human under the table?

May Lisa Montgomery’s journey show us a new path to healing, for all of us, but especially for those like her, the children of sexual abuse.

Sending love,

J. E. Ketchel, Author of The Recapitulation Diaries