Tag Archives: balance

Chuck’s Place: Uphold Civility

How about a little more love and compassion?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Our world has many separate parts that interact to maintain our wholeness. The reigning principle that holds us together is homeostasis, a tendency toward balance and stability. When one part of our world becomes extreme other parts of our world become extreme in the opposite direction in a compensatory effort to restore balance.

Currently, our world has devolved into such an extremist state of tenuous balance, with volatile groups expressing deep opposition to one another. The ability to appreciate the needs and perspectives of others in an effort to restore peaceful equilibrium is lost to our current circumstance.

Suspend judgment. In such time of extremism, all cling to the one-sidedness of their individual or group positions. The truth appears radically self-evident; the “other’s” view is clearly distorted and wrong. Emotion intensifies to convince, defend, and attack. Reason is stretched beyond reason. In fact, reason is one side of a pair of opposites, deeply suspect to many.

Realize that all the opposition outside ourselves courses equally through our inner selves. Here we can contribute to our own inner balance, as well as the greater world’s, by inwardly facing the one-sidedness of our own ego positions. Even the most contentious positions encapsulate some grain of truth. Our ego is charged to use its analytic and feeling capacities to find the value and necessary place for all parts of the self and the world.

Outwardly, we do well to not fall prey to blame and hate, as these reactions simply further and intensify the divide. Though we must stand firm to who we truly are, upholding our beliefs and values, we are equally free to feel compassion for all. Compassion is directed love energy, where all are acknowledged as legitimate parts of the whole.

Compassion can be expressed through civility. Regardless of the intensity of our beliefs or feelings we can treat each other with respect. This is an enormous task in these times of extremism where many say and do things that evoke strong visceral reactions within the self. Nonetheless, we can all take up the challenge to resist getting taken over and acting out our rageful impulses, verbally or otherwise. This act of containment keeps ego control above water, not causing further damage. Being civil may not result in a kind response, but it will at least not further inflame.

Next, the responsibility is to care for the self and the intense emotion suppressed within. Allow the self release in total private. A brisk walk, deep breathing and, yes, even throwing stones may be warranted. Once the emotional charge has diminished, reflect deeply on the source of inner activation. Something important is being revealed to the self in the emotional reaction. Know thyself, love thyself.

Love the part of the self that feels victimized, betrayed, or disempowered. Although you may choose to have no relationship or engagement with the triggering “other,” find compassion for them within the self, perhaps simply seeing them as a fellow human being struggling with human life. At that level we are all one.

Upholding civility is the bridge we have now, in these times of raging rivers that threaten to flood our civilization. Join in supporting this bridge, through action with civility.

Civilly and affectionately yours,

Chuck

Soulbyte for Tuesday April 3, 2018

Stay focused on your intentions, taking the path called the Middle Way. Although the Middle Way involves mastery of inner and outer balance, it does not totally exclude the occasional celebration in the light or a dip into the dark. It does, however, involve mastery of the quick return to balance, calmness, and peace. The Middle Way takes in all possibilities and yet it is a path of gentle flowing through life as one gets to know the self through experiences. It is a path that knows the proclivities of being human. Without judgment walk onward, taking the Middle Way.

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Friday March 23, 2018

Get your priorities straight. Take care of yourself. Nurture and sustain, energize and contain. Protect your body. Conserve your energy. Feed yourself enough but not too much. Give enough of your energy to others but not too much. Pare down what goes in and what goes out so you are healthy in body and spirit. Be generous when appropriate and yet let moderation be your motto, for too much of a good thing is still too much.

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Chuck’s Place: Separation & Integration

The perfect cake…
Art by Jan Ketchel © 2002

Separation and integration are necessary operations in the growth of our wholeness. Before the cake batter can be mixed the ingredients must be carefully separated and measured. Next comes the stirring of all the ingredients as they are prepared to be baked into an integrated whole and delicious cake!

The human being is comprised of many separate parts that must be integrated for effective functioning. Take for instance an emotion, be it love, anger or sadness. The river of the bloodstream carries the energy of these emotions as they flood the body in an activated state. If the psyche is uncomfortable with the intensity of these emotional energies it likely stiffens the body’s muscles to dam up and contain this heightened emotional state. This results in a loss of integrated functioning of mind and body.

This in turn can lead to chronic muscle fatigue and depressed mood as the vital energy for life is dammed up in the musculature while what little energy is available is spent largely in a separative defense rather than in a wholistic pursuit of release, joy, and satisfaction.

Yoga and mind/body modalities highlight the use of the breath to support the metabolic processes of the body but also to allow the free flow of dammed emotions and traumatic memories that  restrict integrated wholeness and an enlivened spirit. Deep breathing promotes calmness and the ability to release powerful emotions safely. A simple practice of taking a deep abdominal breath several times a day can initiate mind/ body integration.

The Shamans of Ancient Mexico point out that the lion’s share of energy in modern humans is spent on the presentation of the self in everyday life. Thus the ego, with it’s separate concerns about how it looks, how others validate it, and its overall craving for attention, is the largest ingredient of modern life. We readily see this modeled in our current world leaders.

The Shamans recommend that we identify and largely separate out this preoccupation with self-importance from our daily routines and habits to better integrate our energetic reserve for the practices of intent, dreaming, and manifestation.

Those Shamans literally make a written inventory of their typical daily behaviors, eliminating unnecessary attention-seeking energy consumption. If we allow ourselves to reflect on our day, we are able to separate out that which facilitated and that which interfered with a greater integrated functioning of self.

Although I find it disheartening to see the disintegration of the world as we have known it, I am convinced it was unavoidable. I think it is fair to say that the election of Donald Trump was as surprising as the election of Barack Obama. I am still amazed that we saw the election of a black person to the presidency in my lifetime. I am equally amazed by the election of a character like Donald Trump to the world’s highest office.

On the one hand, the Greek principle of enantiodromia was clearly at work here. That principle simply states that one extreme will bring forth its exact opposite. The classic example of this is Saul on the road to Damascus. He begins on a mission to persecute Christians. Suddenly he has an extreme conversion where he becomes Paul, the devout Christian. Trump has defined himself as the exact opposite of Obama.

On the other hand, I think, like Jimmy Carter, that Obama was ahead of his time. In fact the stage was next set for the raising of the feminine to royal status with the election of Hillary. Although this portended the greater integration of human wholeness, it too was ahead of its time. The ingredients for that cake were simply not properly measured nor were they ready for mixing. Instead, we were thrown into an incredible time of separation, worldwide.

A word like immigration has become a four letter word in our time. Nonetheless, this extreme separatism of now allows us to clearly see our differences, which must be faced and reconciled in a very real, not fake way, if we are to once again be able to approach the integration and elevation of the feminine to its rightful ruling authority, Yin and Yang as a balanced whole.

The truth is, America rushed the making of the cake with Obama and nearly did with Hillary as well. But fate intervened, for America had truly not faced nor reconciled its shadow yet. Well, it is reckoning with it now!

You simply can’t force wholeness prematurely. We are in the time of separation and we must accept that. Inwardly we can use this time to face our divided selves and set into motion practical behaviors to shore up our greater integration and evolution into wholeness. Elmer Green,* who recently died at age 99, left us with the vision that in 125 years we’ll be there. Let’s all do our part to make it happen. Begin with the self!

Chuck

* Elmer Green, PhD, noted biofeedback pioneer is also the author, among other books, of The Ozawkie Book of the Dead: Alzheimer’s Isn’t What You Think It Is

Soulbyte for Wednesday March 14, 2018

Set limits and stay below them. Set goals and go beyond them. Feed your body less. Give your soul more. Starve your worry and your fear. Nurture your creativity and your spirituality. In this manner find a new balance within and without, a new calmness where body, mind, and spirit are adjusted to each other in a new way, letting that which is most important lead the way. Leave the excesses of the world behind as you turn inward now to the world of your inner self. As you give the outer world a rest, your body, your mind, and your spirit will thank you and your heart will be at peace. Soon you will notice that the world outside of you has adjusted and achieved a new balance too. As within, so without.

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne