Tag Archives: recapitulation

An Excerpt From “Dreaming All The Time”

Here is an excerpt from the next book in The Recapitulation Diaries. I am a few months away from finishing the recapitulation. If you’ve been following my experiences and reading my books you might remember it was a three-year-long journey of intense inner work. As the third year was nearing its end, the recapitulation intensified, my old self and my old world attachments not willing to give up so easily. As they say, it’s always darkest before dawn. Here is the excerpt:

February 4, 2004

I wake in a panic at six a.m., mind and body vibrating so hard I fear that I’m shattering, breaking apart into a million tiny pieces, turning to dust between the covers of my bed. Why now, when I’ve worked so hard to bring myself together? I breathe and breathe and breathe, willing myself back together with every breath I take. Pushing the panic away, I remind myself of why I’m doing this recapitulation: for life, for wholeness, for oneness, for the joining of my two souls. And then I remember that I woke in the night in fiery pain! I cried, calling out, “Sorry, sorry, sorry,” whimpering as the pain tore through me. Gradually the pain stopped and I fell back to sleep. It was like a bad dream, but it was no dream at all; it was an old memory searing through me.

Why am I still suffering such pain? What is the point of it? And why did I feel I had to apologize? I was the one in pain and yet I felt I had to apologize, and for some crazy reason it worked, it made the pain go away. Now I lie still, just breathing, turning myself over to the safe hands of my guides, knowing that they won’t let me die. It’s not my time. It’s time now to finish this healing journey.

Eventually, I’m able to move my body and get out of bed. If I can just get through the next few days and months, I’ll be fine, I tell myself. I make coffee and set my sights on the day ahead. I have a meeting with an outdoor art committee, an article to write, an illustration to do, and a decorative painting job to start, so all of that will keep me busy. The key is to remain busy.

To whom was I apologizing last night? To the abuser? It felt as if I were apologizing to him for killing him off, for having to commit this act of war against him, for we are at war as I seek to take back my energy. Or perhaps I was apologizing to my inner girls because we are leaving those old familiar places of pain and comfort, of fear and depression, where everything is so known and predictable, and so strangely safe. It’s striking how pain and comfort are so terribly linked. But the apology worked, the pain eased, and I fell easily back to sleep.

“Something wants you to go back,” Chuck said to me yesterday. “Do the movements [Magical Passes] to counter it. Every time you go through a major shift something wants to pull you back. Fight it.”

Everything is shifting and changing now and I’m feeling the full brunt of it, a head-on collision of the old and the new.

© 2020 J. E. Ketchel, Dreaming All The Time, Volume 5 of The Recapitulation Diaries

Chuck’s Place: Unbending Detachment

Look to the skies for guidance on how to remain detached and yet fully energetically connected!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The key to actualizing our human potential is energy. If you have enough energy you can do just about anything. Recognizing the value of conserving and retrieving energy, shamans discovered that the human being’s most lethal energy drain is offense.  Being offended, by anything and everything, costs humans the lion’s share of their vital energy.

When we feel offended by the words and deeds of others we have emotional reactions, like anger, fear, and resentment that tax the central nervous system. We lose our balance, as we become emotionally charged, seeking relief in some kind of action. Often, obsessive thinking continues to replay the offense, which sustains and feeds this state of emotional tension.

Is it possible to have an objective reaction to another’s offensive behavior without being personally offended? Yes, through gaining conscious control of our instinctive emotional reactions and deciding, on the mental plane, to not be offended by the behavior of others, regardless of how ruthless it might be.

Who could forget Robert De Niro’s “Are you talking to me?” in the movie Taxi Driver? Instinctively, we feel the growing tension of his mounting anger, as he incessantly repeats this famous line. Truthfully, many are drawn to such unabashed expressions of rage and contempt, which vicariously satisfies our own unexpressed rage and resentment.

Now, if Robert De Niro had simply walked away, the movie would have flopped. On the other hand, if we want to start saving our vital energy, we must be willing to let go of the many dramas our internal dialogue ignites through its constant interpretation of offense, throughout our everyday lives.

This is not to say that there is not significant horrific behavior that must be addressed. At issue is the subjective state of offense that accompanies one’s reactions to those behaviors. One can assess a situation and decide upon a course of action, unencumbered by emotional reaction. In fact, this is a core teaching of all martial arts.

When one becomes emotionally offended by an opponent’s move, one loses one’s edge, fights poorly, and generally loses. As in shamanism, in the martial arts the key to success is to not become attached —offended— by one’s opponent’s behavior. The objective is to stay present to what is and completely conserve one’s energy in order to be fully engaged in one’s most efficient counter response.

In fact, when one becomes offended one actually gifts the opponent one’s own energy. Offense can lead to hopelessness, powerlessness, and surrender, as one’s vital energy reserves become depleted. Bullying behavior is actually a strategy to catch one’s opponent in the net of offense, weakening their game. Muhammed Ali was a striking example of such tactical behavior leading up to a fight, as he would mercilessly insult and demean his opponents.

Instinctive reactions can be, and often are, life saving. What we take as an instinctive reaction, however, is very frequently the ego’s decision to be offended, whereby calling forth the troops of passionate reactions to exact retribution, in some form. This is a hybrid, instinctive reaction that serves only the ego, not the true needs of the self.

Ego must learn to be a servant to the true needs of the whole self, rather than just its own self-aggrandizement. Even if the ego has been directly insulted, the ego must consider the energetic impact on its central nervous system, and its energy reserves, before determining its course of action.

If the ego faces the fact that we live in a world where life feeds upon life, it can come around to the fact that we live in a predatory universe and not get offended by it. Of course, this does not stop our need to defend ourselves, but how much stronger and more clearheaded we would be if we didn’t burden ourselves with being offended.

When the shamans speak of detachment, they are targeting what we typically judge to be offensive behavior. They promote inner silence to avoid offensive dramas when navigating oncoming time, to best be prepared to respond appropriately, with the least taxing of our energetic reserves. Inner silence entails quieting the mind, pulling into the heart center, and waiting patiently for the guidance that shows us how to act in a way that is truly right.

In addition, they recommend a thorough recapitulation of one’s relationships in life, particularly circumstances that left one feeling offended. Recapitulation frees one’s energy stored away in offense, but also frees one from being triggered by current circumstances that reflect one’s unresolved past.

The truth is that there are highly sadistic, abusive people who commit horrific acts. Recapitulation does not change this fact, but it does free one from draining one’s vital energy by being eternally offended by them. Detachment means accepting the truth of what was, and fully harnessing one’s freed energy to be redeployed in new life.

I send out the intent for unbending detachment, as we collectively advance our world into new life, beyond offense.

With Unbending Detachment,

Chuck

Chuck’s Place: How A Change Might Happen

Change is happening all around…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Our bodies are governed by deeply embedded evolutionary programs, the stuff of DNA and archetypes. These programs are housed in the operations of the subconscious mind and operate quite unconsciously through the autonomic nervous system. Thus, the heart beats at a rate governed by its inherent instructions, not by conscious intent.

However, as has been definitively proven by advanced Yogis, consciousness can assume control even over the heart rate. In fact, Yogis have been able, under laboratory conditions, to stop the heart for several minutes, and then resume normal beating.

The operative principle here is the shaman’s credo: suspend judgment and see what happens. If we dismiss attempting to do something because we don’t believe it is possible, then we stay aligned with this now blocking-belief, based on principle.

In addition to these inherited programs are the socialized messages we have internalized as beliefs, which also take up residence in the subconscious mind and automatically influence our body, mind, and emotional states. Thus, being told, for instance, that we have an incurable disease might result in a subconscious acquiescence to such a prediction.

In this case, we are faced with two powerful influences upon the subconscious: inherent and socialized.

The inherent influence might be a genetic predisposition to a disease. The influence of this genetic coding might indeed challenge the body in a predictable way. This is real.

However, as successful placebo interventions demonstrate, the power of suggestion can have an impact on the course and even elimination of a disease. If one is able to suspend the judgment that upholds a blocking belief and engage the power of intent, anything could happen.

The socialized dimension upon the subconscious might be triggered by the power attributed to an authority figure. A doctor is a person of high authority that easily triggers the commandment to honor one’s parents, holders of omnipotent power in our very impressionable childhood years.

Honoring the parents may have generalized to all subsequent authority figures in life. Thus, one may feel too inadequate to question the pronouncement of such an authority figure. Hence, engaging the possibility that one can influence the course of one’s encounter with disease might never be allowed, due to the influence of subconscious beliefs.

It is extremely difficult to talk oneself out of a belief. Once installed in the subconscious, beliefs act autonomously and with a great deal of power, as is easily seen in the intensity of emotions that are aroused when a belief is challenged. Just try having a rational discussion with anybody about their current political beliefs—I guarantee you’ll see a display of emotion!

The best approach to working with a limiting belief is to acknowledge it but not stay under its domination. So, for instance, if I am told I’m dealing with a disease, I will acknowledge that fact, that my symptoms fit a diagnostic category.

Next, I quite definitely would state my intent: “I intend to heal!” Here I am speaking to Intent itself, a power in the universe that I seek to engage in my healing process. If one has no belief in such a higher, independent power I would suggest stating the intent anyway, regardless of doubt.

Intent may be the language that activates one’s link to what physicist David Bohm termed the Implicate Order, the deeper interconnected oneness that underlies our surface experience of separateness in reality. Communication from this dimension utilizes synchronicity to guide consciousness on its journey of change.

The intent to influence the subconscious is critical, as the subconscious is the warehouse of our belief system, as well as the executor of most bodily activity. Taking conscious leadership of the directives we want our body to follow is directly linked to the suggestions we give the subconscious. Never assume a subconscious program can’t be overridden by conscious intent.

Next it is critical to be very patient. Subconscious programs are shrouded in powerful defenses to protect the sanctity of these default positions. We must calmly but incessantly repeat our intentions to the subconscious. If we are impatient we will easily be defeated in our intent.

Furthermore, the course the greater Intent might take us in might be quite counterintuitive. We may need to suffer many surprises that actually might be a course of recapitulation, necessary to journey through to free our energy from the roots of a disease. Perhaps an ancestral problem embedded in a disease may need to be experienced and solved before it can be released.

Finally, and most challenging, we must suspend attachment to the outcome of our efforts. The goal is to be impeccable in stating our intent and meeting the challenges that unfold. Attachment to outcome taxes our energy in wish-fulfillment and depression when things don’t unfold as we expect them to.

Be definite in intent, be patient, and take the journey that is presented, the journey of a lifetime. See what happens!

INTENT!

Chuck

Soulbyte for Monday August 24, 2020

Let bygones be bygones. Stay connected to what is now current, to what is now important, to what is now of utmost concern, for to stay caught in the past serves only the past and the energies that reside there and keep you stuck in old habits and old ideas of the self. Turn in a new direction now with the intent of your strong heart, the discipline of your determined spirit, and the positive outlook of your future self. Change is imminent. Why not come along?

Sending you love,

The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Psyche & Soma

Psyche, in Greek, means soul or spirit, especially that part of the soul which manifests in the mind, in the conscious and unconscious parts of our wholeness. Soma refers to the body, especially to the nerve cells of the body. Psychosomatic is a combination of these two root words, meaning that which the spirit manifests in the body.

In my books, comprising the series called The Recapitulation Diaries, I write often about the incessant pain in my body. As real as the pain was, excruciating and debilitating at times, I discovered that it was really messages from my spirit, my psyche, directing me to what needed attention as I progressed on my journey. I discovered that during recapitulation what is manifesting in the body must be explored.

At first, I had almost every pain checked out by one doctor or another. I was doing this long before I even knew about recapitulation or began my journey of change and transformation. I’d go to a doctor and describe my pain, but there was never any diagnosis that those doctors could come up with to pinpoint what was causing the pain.

When I was in my early forties, I developed a skin cancer, a small red spot that turned out to be two types of cancer, basal cell and squamous cell. It’s unusual to have two types of cancer manifesting in the same area, the doctor who did the biopsy told me, but as soon as I had developed the red spot, and as soon as I was informed that it was cancer, I knew immediately that it had nothing to do with my exposure to the sun as a child, as was repeatedly questioned. I knew it had to do with what was festering inside me, that there was something much worse, that that little red dot was just the beginning of something far greater.

I knew, instinctively, that I had some dark thing inside me that I had been trying to forget my entire life. By the time I was forty, I had been pretty successful at forgetting, though I suffered in numerous physical, mental, and spiritual ways. That small red spot was just another indication that I might have to remember.

It was then that I acknowledged that my psyche was hiding something from me. It had protected me up until that point, but if I was to not get more skin cancer, or any other disease, I knew the time had come to face what it really meant. It took another five or six years before I finally took the leap, the leap into my own darkness and what lay there waiting for me to discover.

Pain is an indicator that the body has something to tell us. It might indeed be that we have a serious illness, or it might be that it is trying to protect us from that which we do not want to know. Pain can be a defense against that which is too painful to know.

As I recapitulated, I began to look at the pain in my body as a message from my spirit. I would ask it to show me what it knew, to guide me where to go next. I developed nerves of steel so I could face what my body had to tell me, what it knew and what it meant.

As I faced the pain and asked my body to be my guide, I also discovered that I always had the strength to face what it had to show me. I knew that it would not be asking me to face it if I was not ready. Whenever the pain showed up, and it showed up incessantly, relentlessly right to the very end of my recapitulation, I used it to heal.

That’s a strange idea, to imagine that our pain is actually our healing balm, but it’s true. Without my pain showing me what I needed to face I might not have freed my spirit and my body from the torment of years of abuse that had been so well-hidden inside me.

I often thanked my body and my unconscious for showing me what it knew, for revealing to me the truths not only of my own past but the truths of what the spirit and body are truly capable, how they inform and guide, how they really only want us to heal and discover the magical beings that we all are.

Even today, I still use my psyche and soma to guide me. I constantly question any pain I might have. Often, I realize, it is what I call “stuck energy,” a thought, idea, or attachment, a conjuring of the mind that I’ve latched onto that does not belong to me, stuck energy that needs to be moved along and out of my body, tension that when allowed to naturally release brings instantaneous relief.

Or it might be something that my psyche, my spirit wants me to be alert to, something that needs recapitulation. Perhaps one of the biggest lessons of recapitulation is that we are always being asked to grow and evolve, to confront our deepest issues and resolve them so we can move on into even greater freedom.

Our minds and our bodies, our psyche and soma, are amazing partners as we take our journeys through life, as we seek to know ourselves at the deepest of levels and as we seek to find the meaning in our lives.

I highly recommend any of the books by Dr. John Sarno, especially The Mind Body Prescription, as guides to understanding how psyche and soma work together to bring us to consciousness, to help us heal.

Our defenses are incredibly strong but our spirit is stronger. That is what we discover as we recapitulate.

I wish you all well on your journeys, and I send you love,

J. E. Ketchel, Author of The Recapitulation Diaries