Tag Archives: recapitulation

How to Heal

I begin with the premise that all pain and illness, mental and physical, stem from psychological disharmony. If the psyche, the energetic manifestation of the spirit in the human mind, becomes disrupted, or infected, the result is disharmony, dis-ease, disturbance within the entire self: the body, the mind, and the spirit.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel of darkness…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

A Path of Recapitulation

There are many paths to healing. I took the path of recapitulation to heal from Complex PTSD, which stemmed from 16 years of sexual abuse that first occurred in early childhood and ended when I was 18. Those were my formative years and during that time I was inundated with not only the brutal sexual abuse but also the intense psychological repercussions of that abuse.

The human capacity to endure and survive, however, is incredible, but at what expense?

What my child self could not handle, either physically or mentally, my psyche and spirit handled, offering several pathways of protection so that life could continue. This is common in cases of abuse, where the body and the mind work in conjunction to hide from the fragile ego that which is harmful, painful, confusing, or damaging. In my case, all memory of what happened to me was wiped clean. At the time, it saved me, but later it came back to haunt me.

Hints of what had happened, though deeply buried within the person I became, began to arise, bringing with it the pain and discordancy that had been long buried. That’s when I realized I needed to find out, at the deepest of levels, why I had so much disharmony within myself, why I had so much physical pain and mental anguish, why I was so afraid of life, to the point of destroying all I had worked so hard for, all the paths of potential success that I refused to embark upon. Why was I so self-sabotaging, so self-negating, so self-deprecating? Why couldn’t I just be normal?

That was when recapitulation, as a path to healing, came into my life, a path of not only remembering, but of reliving, releasing, and resolving—a path to freedom.

An Adult Self

The first step before beginning a recapitulation is to shore up the adult self. A strong adult self in the house, in you, will help keep you focused and steady as you begin to walk the path of recapitulation.

During recapitulation you will often be in two worlds at once, in the present and in the past, and your adult self will keep you balanced, keeping one foot in each world so that you can continue to be fully functional and present in your everyday life.

Even if recapitulation proves not to be your path in this lifetime, it’s best to shore up that adult self anyway, it will make for a life that is more tolerable and steadier. And that adult self will help keep your pain at bay with good suggestions and tactics rather than those that further damage.

I had a good mature adult self already well established when I began my recapitulation. So that was not going to be a problem for me. And once I was given the opportunity to find out what was so wrong with me, I dove in, wanting more than anything to get to the bottom of things.

Shining a Light

The next step is to bring the light into the darkness of the self. This is scary because you may not know what you are going to find. Just be open. For once you begin to walk the path of recapitulation that light is going to be very important. Things will come to you, challenging you to take a closer look, showing you where you need to go, and the only way you will be able to fully know them is by bringing in the light.

When you bring the light into the darkness, things change. For the first time you begin to see the truth, and the truth is what matters. The light reveals the truth and the darkness disappears.

Trusting the Journey

As things arise, trusting in the journey becomes the next step.

Keep in mind that recapitulation is a healing journey. Keep in mind also that you are well protected and guided as you recapitulate, for, as an ancient practice, all those who have gone before you and carved the path are energetically supporting you on your journey. That’s a lot of positive energy!

Letting Go

As you walk the path of recapitulation you will be challenged to let things go, to let go of the comforts that you once used to protect yourself. This is a crucial step, for what once saved you in an old way becomes a blockage to a new path of healing.

Letting go means being free to embrace the fullness of your true self, the self that is waiting for you at the end of the tunnel of darkness.

As you let go of old ideas of the self, as you let go of shame and blame, of the pain and the anguish, as you shed all that once meant so much to you, you might feel as if you are disintegrating, but this is good disintegration, like a snake shedding its old skin and finding that it still exists in its wholeness, though the shedding of that old skin took quite an effort. It’s the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis, the chick from the egg, the seventeen-year locust emerging from the ground, having climbed through the dark earth to emerge into the light, against all odds.

Healing

I believe that we can all heal, from the deepest and most traumatic events and illnesses, those that physically challenge us and those that mentally challenge us.

If and when we are ready, our healing path will show up and ask us to take the journey toward healing. If we are not ready, that’s okay. It might not be the work of this lifetime. In the meantime, work on shoring up that adult self previously mentioned.

But, I suggest, that if you are hit over the head with something about yourself that knocks you off your feet, grab a light and take a look at it, and see where it leads. It might just be what you’ve always been looking for, your true self and the truth of yourself!

Sometimes the best way to heal is to stop seeking, to stop looking so hard, running to this path and that, thinking that this new cure will be the one, and to instead just sit down and wait to see what your spirit brings you. For the truth is that your spirit is with you always, has always been with you and knows you better than anyone. Your spirit has all the answers you seek. Ask you spirit to guide you.

The Recapitulation Diaries

I wrote The Recapitulation Diaries to show that full healing from Complex PTSD is possible, that even though you suffered greatly—more than I did, I’m sure—you too can heal.

It’s not an easy journey, but what journey is? You’ve already taken the hardest part of it, now you just have to remember so that you can clear your energy of all that infects you, for to go back to my beginning premise, all pain and illness, mental and physical, stems from psychological disharmony, from infection that has intercepted our energy field and contaminated us. Once we heal ourselves of those infections of energy a life of wonder awaits.

I won’t say any more today, though there is so much more to the healing path of recapitulation. My books tell the story. I would not be here today had I not taken that journey. That I am pretty sure of, or at least I would not be here writing this to you today, from the bottom of my heart, hoping that you too may heal.

Sending you love and healing energy,

Jan

The Recapitulation Diaries

Soulbyte for Tuesday March 16, 2021

Awaken, and take on the tremendous task each day of owning the life you are in, of taking responsibility, without blame or shame, for all that you have been granted, all that you have experienced, all that you have done. For indeed, it is your life to figure out and bring to fruition. No one else is responsible for your life, though many may help or hinder, depending on how you see it. Wake up and embrace all that you have been given and all the opportunities each day offers. Take it all to a new level, one day and one step at a time, without regret but with an open and expectant heart. Carve your way forward with your own loving self in mind as your goal, for to become a loving being is indeed a fine life to strive for, love for yourself and for others. You can’t go wrong with that. As within, so without.

Sending you love,
From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Chuck’s Place: Why We Fragment

Fragments & Wholeness
-Photo by Jan Ketchel

We are living in a time of great splintering. The energy of the many fragmented voices is fast and furious. The single-mindedness of independent parts, warring against any challenge, vying for supremacy at any cost, is the energy of now. We are a world that has dispersed its wholeness, and those independent parts are not presently interested in finding their way home.

Ironically, when wholeness is achieved boredom eventually sets in. It’s as natural as the fullness of an inhalation alternating with the dispersement of exhalation. When fullness reaches the condition of completion the spark to adventure splinters the wholeness, as points of curiosity launch to scout out new possibilities.

We live this process individually every day. When we close our eyes to our solid waking dream of daylight, our constrained wholeness splinters into a host of adventures in the infinity of our nightly dreams. When we awaken in the morning our nightly indiscretions from the limits of rationality dissolve quickly from memory, as waking consciousness clothes us for another day in the limits of solid time/space reality.

Nonetheless, the gifts of our nightly adventures innervate our daily lives, as synchronicities of knowing seek to jar our consciousness to remember; to remember the dreams, to remember the lessons, to integrate the nightly knowledge gained that opens up a broader perspective of who we really are and all that is possible.

It’s all about remembering. Remembering is the technology of wholeness. Trauma fragments, yet also sends scouts of us out into infinity. Recapitulating, retrieving the parts of our fragmented whole, brings us into greater reality. That greater whole restores innocence, but a greater reconditioned innocence, tuned to navigate the dark, as well as the light of reality.

The goal is hardly the restoration of lost innocence; it’s the birthing into matured innocence, prepped for new adventure. Like the flip side of a divorce that on the one side shatters the security of the archetypal family, on the other side launches all members of a family into a new world of knowledge beyond the myths of the nursery.

The blank slate of our birth is just another nursery myth to securely swaddle our awakening, alienated scout into a new life. When will we awaken to the deeper truth that our longing for soulmate is actually a protective cover from the impact of the accumulated love of our many lives, those whom support us from behind the veils of this earthly sojourn.

Jan, in her recently published final book of her five-volume Recapitulation Diaries Series—Dreaming All The Time—takes us even deeper into the mystery of our birth, as she discovers that she’d agreed to the challenge of her life before she arrived in her blank slate innocence of birth. Why would anyone agree to such a traumatic life?!

When I ponder Christ’s knowing fully of, and agreeing to, the traumatic fate that awaited him when he fragmented from the Mothership to be born in human form, I ask, why? Really? And then the answer comes: What was his greatest message? Love! Love thy neighbors, whoever they may be, whatever they have done to ye! Love thy petty tyrant and you will truly refine love, the prerequisite to advance into the greater wholeness of infinity.

When will we be ready to drop those veils and bring to our wholeness the discoveries of this fragmented life? Once again, it’s all about remembering. Remembering is the road to wholeness. Remembering is the great inhalation.

But, to answer the question, as to why we fragment? We fragment to explore whole new worlds, to satisfy our deepest curiosity, to learn, to discover, to adventure, to grow, to augment our wholeness, to change, to deepen our love, and yes, at times to avoid the challenge of integrating all of our selves, all of our experiences. The list is endless, the challenge great.

But do remember to breathe! Completely exhale, then breathe in a full inhalation. Hold for a few moments, deeply appreciating the wholeness encased within. Then let go, in exhalation, freely releasing the wholeness of the breath to disperse and travel freely, until we meet again, new and renewed, imbued to the fullest with the prana of the journey.

Breathing in and exhaling outwards, ever outwards,

Chuck

Soulbyte for Friday February 19, 2021

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Have compassion for yourself as you make your way through Earth School, for the journey your are on and the trials and tribulations you must face. Learning to be a compassionate and loving being involves being loving and compassionate in all situations and toward all beings but especially toward the self, perhaps the most difficult and advanced lesson of all in Earth School. If you can achieve this state you will have indeed come far. Prove to yourself how worthy you are of loving compassion by going inward and doing the work of the inner self, for it is there you will find what you need to advance, for everything lies within.

Sending you love,
The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Wednesday February 17, 2021

Watch your energy so that it does not become usurped by that which is depleting, negative, or unhealthy. Remain aware of what you do, who you attach to, and how your mind wanders; all these things can drain you of your vitality. Remain attentive also to what is going on inside of you and attend to it; to the things that memory presents, to emotions and physicals symptoms, for all these things are drains on your energy as well. Turn to nature for refreshment, calmness, and grounding. Walk calmly, breathe deeply, and ponder the vastness of the Great Sky and the beauty of Mother Earth. Let these things be your anchors so that within and without all may be well with you.

Sending you love,
The Soul Sisters, Jan and Jeanne