Suspend judgment about yourself and the things you have done. Shift your awareness to the bigger picture and your life in its wholeness, in the context of a journey of learning and growth. When you suspend judgment you let go of the inner critic, the constant judging voice in your ear, and allow something else to enter, perhaps the knowledge that you have done nothing wrong but only lived an aspect of life worth living to the fullest. Everything is part of the journey you are on. Can you accept that? Integrate that? And move on from that? That is how to suspend judgment.
In 1966, Puerto Rican psychiatrist Efren Ramirez, my first therapist and mentor, captured the heart and imagination of New York City when he introduced his singularly unique treatment approach, based on existential principles, as a method to tackle the drug addiction problem ravaging the city.
The fabled success of his addiction treatment programs in Puerto Rico prompted Mayor John Lindsay to offer him carte blanche support to replicate this success in New York. As a result, Therapeutic Community treatment programs (TCs) soon sprang up throughout the five boroughs of New York City.
Efren’s treatment approach, called The Concept, utilized existential encounter to awaken, within the addict, knowledge of the absolute power of their choices in determining their reality.
Rollo May, noted existential psychiatrist and author, pointed out that, for Ramirez, emphasis on diagnosis, etiology and prognosis actually obstructs and weakens the patient’s ability to gain full access to, and assume responsibility for, the central power of choice in determining the outcome of their lives. (Existential Psychology, 1969 edition)
The ability to assume full responsibility for one’s choices requires existential confrontation with one’s behaviors and attitudes, which brings to consciousness the choices one is already making, though largely at an unconscious level.
Through the enlightenment gained by one’s encounter with the feedback received from others, one becomes fully aware of how one blindly exercises one’s free will in one’s attitudes and behaviors. With this heightened awareness, one’s free will can be more judiciously exercised to the benefit of one’s life.
A generation before, from the heart of the holocaust, existential psychiatrist Victor Frankl observed and experienced that the single most important variable that determined whether one would survive or die in a death camp was the attitude one chose to assume while interned in the most terrifying, horrific and dehumanizing conditions imaginable.
The exercise of will to choose a positive attitude in the midst of a death camp could literally save one’s life. Furthermore, no one and nothing could take away an individual’s free exercise of imagination and will.
Carolyn Elliot, in her recent book, Existential Kink, takes one down the rabbit hole of one’s inner shadow to discover, own, and radically accept one’s unconscious yet willful collusion with the consciously rejected behaviors and habits active in the hidden recesses of one’s shadow.
Elliot stresses that “having is wanting” and that one must accept this in order to encourage one’s existential encounter with the many shades of will active in one’s being. This fuller acceptance of the polarities within the self frees the will to make choices that accommodate the wholeness of self.
The shamans of ancient Mexico sought to galvanize the will to be fully, mindfully present each day by shocking the ego with an existential encounter with death as an advisor.
Stating, each morning, “I am a being who is going to die” awakens the will to a heightened level of unified presence in each moment, as it chooses its attitudes and behaviors throughout the day. This intent of the will treats each moment with an equanimity that is fully prepared to seamlessly transition from this life in full consciousness as well.
Will is the creator of personal reality. Existential encounter with the fullness of self frees the will to responsibly exercise its power from the vantage point of total presence in the current moment. The intent of the will is then materialized through the suggestions one delivers to the subconscious mind.
The subconscious mind is the Mother of creation.
The subconscious mind stores the journey of the soul through all of its history.
The subconscious mind has total control over the functioning, sensations and health of the body.
The subconscious mind is the home of the instincts.
The subconscious mind has the knowhow and materials to manifest anything suggested to it.
As powerful as the subconscious is, it is still pure Yin. Yin is completely receptive, the feminine principle/anima, and capable of creating anything, but requires a suggestion to begin operations. Yang, her partner, the masculine principle/animus, is the Will.
Will is the active side of infinity, whose task it is to activate his partner’s creative process via suggestion. With their creative energies in sync, anything is possible. Every one of us is a combination of this divine couple and have the ability to both activate and create.
With consciousness raised through existential encounter, the will is freed to truly transcend the self-deceptive suggestions often made to the subconscious mind that keep one frozen in habitual disappointment.
Will, freed to suggest to the subconscious full healing of self and world, is indeed the necessary and adventurous order of our day.
Change is not elusive; it is happening all the time. But change within the self can feel like it never happens, or only happens very slowly, but that is an illusion. For, indeed, even within the stubborn self change is continually taking place. It is, however, intention that gets the change moving at a faster pace and intention that will get the job of change done. Become aware of how you can contribute to your own plans for change and set something new in motion with a new intention today.
The shamans of ancient Mexico coined the term internal dialogue to identify the incessant self-talk that we all engage in that generates our personality.
The content of the internal dialogue is the socialized messages we all receive from the moment we are born, which come to shape our perception and interpretation of ourselves, and the world around us.
What’s key is how the internal dialogue, which is largely internalized verbal and nonverbal messages from significant others, becomes the deeply felt personal definition of self that we accept as our unique personality. Thus, our sense of self is mostly simply a product of external forces of socialization. What we come to covet as our unique self is largely an arbitrary creation of external suggestion.
Psychologically this is what forms and upholds our ego identity. The ego adopts this external messaging as its internal dialogue, which instructs the subconscious mind to manifest the mental and physical being we then become in this world. The subconscious mind is capable of creating anything we say to it—its powers are that extraordinary.
This magic, however, is lost to us, as our magical possibilities are molded externally, and maintained internally, by the incessant unconscious repetition of the same internal dialogue.
Shamans call this fixation of identity, via suggestion, the assemblage point, where unlimited possibility becomes sharply bound by a definite sense of self. Carlos Castaneda called it the place where the wings of our magical selves become clipped.
To further complicate the potential awakening to our innate creative potential is the emotional security we derive from a consistent knowing of ourselves. Thus, for instance, if we are generally somewhat depressed and not hopeful about success in our lives, we may nonetheless cling to and defend this unhappy personality because it provides us with the security of a familiar, trustworthy sense of self.
The rational function of the ego will also likely generate persuasive arguments to dismiss the irrational notion of an unlimited magical potential within the self.
For instance, the subconscious mind is capable of nonlocal perception, such as through remote viewing, channeling or telepathy. The ego, on rational grounds, may dismiss these potential abilities with blocking beliefs that preclude ego even suggesting such a possibility to the subconscious mind.
The shaman proposes that one suspend judgment, and, like a true scientist, approach the subconscious with an unbiased experiment that presents suggestions to it and observes behavioral outcomes.
Too often we try first to reason with the internal dialogue to overcome its objections. This will almost always fail due to the power of the ego’s defenses, which it employs to securely maintain its familiar self.
Rather than battle with reason, accept the product of its internal dialogue, the current ego identity. Instead of an argument, create a new internal dialogue that you volitionally and incessantly repeat, as often as you remember.
For example, state the phrase, “I am calm,” thousands of times a day. It matters little if you believe it or not. In fact, your working definition of self—your standard operating self definition—might be, “I am an anxious person.” Do not challenge this definition, simply repeat, “I am calm,” as often as you can.
Suggestions given to the subconscious just before sleep are the most powerful. In retiring to sleep, both the physical body and the conscious mind are turning down and tuning out, thus the availability of the subconscious to receive new instructions is paramount.
In addition, the subconscious naturally comes alive to creativity and suggestion at night. Why waste it on ordinary dreaming? Give it some direction!
As one works the magic at night, one may soon discover that one is more calm in waking life as well. The more established ego state, which loves rationality, will likely take in this new fact and be willing to incorporate it into its old sense of self with little resistance. What ego would deny the facts of its own experience? That’s reality testing at its most basic level.
The possibility of molding a new sense of self, with consciousness that assumes personal responsibility for the suggestions presented to the subconscious, is the true key to the magical kingdom.
Firstly, it allows one to shed the propositions of early internalized beliefs that don’t truly reflect one’s innate potential. The ego instead becomes the beacon of the true Spirit of the Self.
Secondly, it puts the two minds within the self in an optimal relationship for growth. If the ego suggests, to the subconscious, actions of health, healing and the greater good, the physical body and the manifested world will reflect the instinct of self-preservation taken to the highest level of evolutionary refinement.
Thirdly, we, as human beings, are thus restored to the free exploration of our magical beingness and our greater creative potential. We unclip our wings with the free exercise of our will and become the true artists of our lives.
It’s that simple! Take charge of the internal dialogue and become all that you can be!
You have within you the power to create the life you desire and everything in it to your specifications. With your intent pure, your focus directed and your heart open, look inward and determine what is right for you now at this time in your life. Things change and you change too, so what once may have been right may no longer be. Turn your attention to what feeds your spirit as well as your mind, to what is good for your body as well as your overall emotional health. When you have it right you will know by the balance you feel, the peace of mind you experience and the vigor you attain, within and without.
