Tag Archives: acceptance

Soulbyte for Friday June 7, 2024

-Artwork © 2024 Jan Ketchel

Maybe you don’t really want to change yourself and maybe you don’t really want things around you to change either. Maybe you just want things to remain the same, indefinitely. That’s okay. But the truth is that change is happening all the time, in big ways and in small ways that are imperceptible. The truth is that change is continuous. One day you are bound to notice and wonder, Where have I been? How have I not noticed? A slight shift in thinking, by establishing an openness to change and a delight in being part of its great unfolding, will leave you in awe rather than scratching your head. Embracing the awe of it all reduces fear and worry and invites in a different kind of wonder at the beauty of it all. Embrace that!

Sending you love,
The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Chuck’s Place: The Refined Love Of Total Acceptance

Refining love…
-Artwork © 2024 Jan Ketchel

In his journeys in infinity, Robert Monroe experienced a perspective of our world as a colony that refined the commodity of love, which he called loosh. This, he discovered, is why we are here, that the real reason for our sojourn through life in this world is to refine love. But how do we do that?

The notion of refining love suggests a developmental process for love, spanning its first coming alive in gross matter, at physical birth, to its subtly refined pure, spirit-energy state at physical death. Refined love is the one thing you really can take with you! Furthermore, the energy of refined love is the fuel for total acceptance, the key to wholeness. Everything that is, is part of the whole. If you cannot accept something, you cannot be whole.

Our world provides the ideal framework for this refinement process. Psychology teaches us about the absolute necessity for an infant to attach to a secure love object to move forward into life in this world. Rene Spitz, an early pioneer in attachment theory, discovered that institutionalized babies, separated from their mothers beyond three months, sank into what he identified as a progressive anaclitic depression, which often resulted in failure to thrive and death.

To survive and thrive in this world we must attach. Our emotional attachments in this world are the playing field for the refinement of love. Ironically, to achieve the maximum refinement of love required for it to transcend physical death ultimately requires us to completely detach from the physical dimension and all the objects we have loved. Many departed souls struggle with this challenge on the astral plane, especially if they haven’t reached that level of physically letting go during the dying process.

The primal necessity for attachment to a secure object can be transferred to a host of objects, including one’s physical body. For example, rhythmic rocking behavior in children enables a self-soothing behavior that somewhat autonomously satisfies the need for comfort from a secure other person. Freud illumined fixation upon particular erogenous zones of the body as serving similar self-soothing functions. 

Attachment to screens, even in very young children, can provide a sense of primal connection with an energetically vibrant and stimulating other. The pleasure derived from food and substance can serve as a displaced soothing interaction with a secure love object.

As Gabor Mate suggests, addiction is persistence of attachment to any object or habit that offers soothing connection, in spite of its destructive consequences. From this perspective, the task of recovery is a refinement of love that withdraws the outer projection of maladaptive connection into the ability to truly love the self.  

Psychiatrist and pediatrician, Margret Mahler described the achievement of object constancy as the internalization of the outer primary love object into a stable inner sub-personality that can soothe the child from within. Thus, if mother is not in the vicinity, the internalized mother image can bring calm and reassurance that she will return. Emotional object constancy refines love into an inner ability to love and accept both the good and the bad of self and other.

Emotional object constancy is also the foundation for the adult self, as the parenting functions of emotional regulation are now in the inner hands of the growing personality. The greatest challenge for the adult is to refine its critical judgment of itself, and others, into total acceptance of everything and everyone. Love is all-embracing.

To accept and love all, does not mean that boundaries are not necessary. We can love people who must be stopped. We can abandon people physically who must assume responsibility for themselves, yet we can still love and accept them with equanimity. Total acceptance is wholeness, even when some parts of the whole may need to occupy different places for the overall balance and welfare of the whole.

Perhaps the most challenging arena of acceptance is self-acceptance. When we recapitulate our lives, we are asked to completely accept everything we have done and that was done to us. This is not about seeing someone’s potential bright side to find greater acceptance of their dark side. This is full-on acceptance of the total truth, in its full ruthlessness, of what we have done and what has been done to us. This is acceptance completely devoid of shame and blame.

The shamans of ancient Mexico imagined the force behind our loosh/love colony to be a great Eagle that consumes the experience of our refined love journey to enhance its own evolution. The Eagle grants souls continued love journeys in infinity, once they arrive at total acceptance of their complete love journey while in the sojourn of human form.

The journey always continues and love lives on.

Refining love and acceptance,

Soulbyte for Monday November 13, 2023

-Artwork © 2023 Jan Ketchel

Keep a compassionate heart, for self and others, and without denial of truth remain steadfast upon your path of grow and change. It’s so easy to slip back into old habits, even when it’s clear that those old habits are harmful. With the truth known, continually challenge the self to move on now, into the change that is necessary. With forward movement comes greater clarity and greater lessons in how to best proceed, how best to embrace the changes that are being shown to be not only beneficial but absolutely necessary. Life opens new doors each day and each new door is a new gift urging you onward. Embrace all the changes with a compassionate heart, and keep going!

Sending you love,
The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Thursday May 19, 2022

Stand firm. Let not what is happening outside of you in the world around you get you down, but strive always to be a light in the dark. Strive to find the way to new life but also to a new way of life so that the old may be put to rest and your perspective shift from one of darkness and sadness to one of acceptance and the reality that everyone will transform at some point, whether into new life on Earth or new life in infinity, the eternal place of life. Look always through the light of new eyes to find the truth at the end of the tunnel, for indeed, it is there.

Sending you love,
The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Chuck’s Place: Remembering Is Everything

Time to take a stroll down memory lane?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

In a separate reality, I was in a new school, small and simple. It was the first day of school. Another student and I were called to stand in the front of the class. We were being recognized for the papers we had written from a summer assignment. I was amazed, as the topic was science or engineering, something I hardly felt knowledgeable in.

I remembered to remember that my task was to remember. Remember people’s names, remember the layout of the school, how to get to the lunchroom, where to sit, the protocols around being served and eating. I was painfully shy, not wanting to stand out by making mistakes. The imperative was clear—remember everything so that you can smoothly fit in and navigate the school.

The evening before this dream journey I was back at The Training for Living Institute, remembering being hired as a promising prospect, though still a teenager. The layout began to materialize, the large pop art rendition of the TFL logo painted on the wall, encircled in bright colors. The spacious outer reception area with modern, comfortable chairs.

Amazingly, the names of my colleagues began to materialize as my focus opened the Akashic record of this earlier lifescape. My school dream was validating the importance of remembering, the key to retrieving all of what we are. What really is the challenge of remembering? And why do we ‘forget’ to begin with?

Children often remember their families from a prior life. Parents must quickly talk them out of it, lest they be identified for medication assessment. The truth is, however, that children do go on to forget because the main attraction is the life they are currently in, not past lives lived.

Remembering a past life is as valuable as an astrological chart. It explains  the influence of indelible prior experiences and predicts future possibilities, but ultimately the action is in the free will choices of the current life.

We do not continue a prior life; we take up the issue of a prior life in a totally new context. We will meet incomplete challenges, which we might complete in this life. Future life will pick it up from there. Perhaps a life is an opportunity to pay forward the evolution of a greater life. And so, we forget past lives so that they don’t interfere with our current opportunities.

Of course, from the perspective of our greater wholeness in infinity, indeed, we must ultimately claim all of our lives. We must be able to handle the emotion of that integration as we bring together all of our varied adventures in infinity. This level of Enlightenment is generally the challenge upon leaving this life.

When the challenge is at this level of consolidation of our wholeness, we must be capable of radical acceptance of everything. This can only be accomplished with the most refined level of love for everyone and everything—with total equanimity. Until we are ready to love at this level, many memories must be anesthetized.

In trauma, the contents of an experience are separated from consciousness to protect the stability of the personality. These ‘forgotten’ experiences nonetheless include a portion of our vital energy. Thus, loss of memory, in this case, is loss of self.

Reliving a forgotten memory through recapitulation is a soul retrieval process that restores one’s lost vital energy. Key to this restoration is the ability to experience, release, and neutralize the emotions bound to the memory. The complete acceptance of self and other, as well as the circumstances of the memory, requires achieving the refined love of equanimity. If we can’t love every experience we have ever had, we are rejecting a part of our truth.

Morality has no value in acceptance. All that happened is valid because it happened. If we remain judgmental, we are not fully accepting of a part of ourselves and a part of our history. Our future lives will continue to reflect future attempts to reach total acceptance, as we relive new permutations of our unaccepted themes.

Thus, in the context of a current life, remembering the fullness of this life is essential to fully achieving the goal of the life one is in—to resolve the major theme and core issue of this life.

From the context of our greater Soul, in infinity, wholeness requires the remembering of all the lives, all the characters, all the partners and parents, all the loves, all the losses, all the supposed sins—all with total radical acceptance and total loving equanimity.

At the greater Soul level of acceptance, we must be ready for the big bang encounter with our fuller operating system, our multi-lived selves, at the time of transition into infinity. This might require extended time in purgatory bardos, as we slowly complete our cosmic recapitulation, resolving all of our lives and all of our issues. Remembering is the ticket to consolidation of our greater wholeness.

The order of challenge is to first remember and accept everything from the life we are in. With the wholeness of our current life achieved, it’s far easier, in infinity, to remember and accept every life lived. With this consolidation of cosmic Self, perhaps we approach the ultimate memory of oneness, with Source, the single being of everything and from which we all come.

Remembering to remember,