Tag Archives: inner work

A Day in a Life: The Intent Of The Creative

I am intent, no matter what comes to interfere...
I am intent, no matter what comes to interfere…

As Jeanne suggests in her Monday Message, the New Year is really but a marker allowing us Earthlings the opportunity to measure the passage of time, but if we are willing we can use it to change ourselves. This involves using intent, but it also involves utilizing the creative energy of nature inherent in all of us. A decision to move in a new direction is a creative act, but if our intentions are to have lasting effect we must be open to the wisdom of infinitesimal movement rather than broad sweeping jumps. In small but intentional, focused movement we support our intentions to change. In paying attention to what comes to guide us, whether from outside or from inside, and determining how best to use such guidance, we energetically and creatively propel ourselves along our path of change.

And so each year at this time we set our New Year’s resolutions. From my own experiences in setting resolutions, I already know that stating my intent alone has power, but if I really want to see and feel the change on a deeper and more immediate level, I know I must be attentive. I must become the creative process and all that it brings me, fully embracing every aspect of it.

If we look at nature’s intent we receive guidance, for nature has unbending intent, set so long ago it simply moves along at a steady pace. It is repetitive, and yet it is evolving as well. Nature does not look back nor is it given an opportunity to pause and reflect, it simply does its thing. We on the other hand, such brilliant creatures that we are, get stuck. We come up against things that nature never has to contend with. We come up against what we carry within us and what comes from without, seeking attention and attachment.

I consider such inner and outer interferences as tests, tests of our intent to change. In constantly restating our intent at the same time that we turn back to investigate our past—something that nature cannot do—we can track where we’ve been. We can study how we’ve attached in the past to inner and outer attachments and influences, and see how we’ve faltered or progressed. For instance, if I set my intent to follow the Middle Way, the path of balance in all aspects of my life and keep this intent uppermost as I go throughout my day, I will immediately begin to see what comes to both thwart and guide, for that which comes is both.

In alignment with the Middle Way, I am aware that everything that comes my way will offer both the opportunity to attach and the opportunity to detach, offering tests and guidance alike.

Yum!!!
Yum!!!

For instance, I decide to give up sweets in all forms because sugar pulls me off my intentional path. It interferes with my inner balance. But wouldn’t you know that the house is full of sweets. There is a beautiful carrot cake in the refrigerator that houseguests brought over the other night. I love carrot cake! I know that if I eat a piece of it I will have to suffer the consequences, and those consequences will be deep, especially now that I’ve decided to shift away from sweets. If I decide to leave it alone and let others eat it, I will have, for the moment, averted my first test of fortitude, my first test of detachment.

Change requires patience and discipline, but it also requires monitoring—that we remain aware on many levels. We must pay attention to how we have attached in the past so that we can learn how to detach as we walk our newly intentioned path. A decision to detach from an old habit or world means learning how to detach from an old self—for this is really all that we are contending with, ourselves and what we carry inside us.

Nurturing a new self requires constant attention. Moving along on our path of intent requires that we are constantly alert in a new and changing world, for that is what we are seeking to manifest as we set an intent to change. We are asking ourselves to live in a new world of our own creation. And such creation has its own energy of intent. Once set in motion there is no stopping it, for the intent of the creative is constant movement. Once set in motion we can expect the energy of creative activity to be in our lives. And although, as I mentioned, nature—even our own inherent nature—is programmed to move forward, we human beings must constantly stop and investigate ourselves if we are to really progress. To simply jump ahead and be something that we have not nurtured will not stand up to the test of time. If we are to really change, we must allow the intent of that change to carry us forward, infinitesimally.

As we take our steps each day now along our new paths of intent, we learn that we are our own biggest tests, that we carry within us all the attachments that we will ever need, that all we really need to do is go inward and ask our deeper selves what is right as we take our new path. Energy will appear out of nowhere seeking attachment; it’s how it works. It’s almost as if in setting our intent to change our energy is suddenly viable, tasty and appealing to others who may be lacking in energy. Suddenly we are wanted. That energy of attachment might come in old friends calling for contact, people we have not heard from in years suddenly manifesting. What do we do? What does it mean that they call us? Are we supposed to grant them something, is there something we have to offer them?

We must first determine if they are part of our new intent to change or if they are one of our tests of detachment? Usually, I turn inward, sit with my own energy and ask it if it wants to engage in an old world. I ask it if there is something I still need to get back there. I question if it’s right for me to use my energy in the past or if it’s better to turn forward into the new light of the New Year’s intent and detach with compassion and love, offering the new me an opportunity to take an infinitesimal step forward.

Sometimes it’s best to visit in the past to really understand why we are drawn there, to determine the truth of why we are being called back. Or can we state our new position in life and be accepted? Will our old friends understand that we have changed so much already and that we do not exist as that old self or in that old world? Do they understand what it even means to set an intent to change and evolve? Have we gone beyond certain people, not rejectingly so, but factually so?

I'm in a new world now...
I’m in a new world now…

We must, if we are truly changing beings, constantly remind ourselves to readjust our compasses and realign with the world we really want to live in. More questions will always arise as we are tested in our New Year’s resolutions.

At the same time that I turn inward and notice my energy, I remind myself of my creative energy, that which drives me to seek both the Middle Way and the experiences of the world I have been creating for myself for the past ten years or more. As I contemplate this creative changing self, I realize that my entire existence in this life has prepared me for this ultimate creative endeavor, and so I find that I cannot stop. My spirit is driving me forward now, as our spirit’s intent is what really pushes us to constantly change, not our mind’s intent, though they must work hand in hand, for we are human. And this is the Middle Way, the spirit and the mind working in alignment with the greater intent of our soul’s desire for growth.

And so, as the New Year really begins in earnest, as my intentions to deepen my spiritual path are given an opportunity to manifest a little bit more each day, I accept what comes to thwart and guide me. And if I happen to take a tiny piece of carrot cake, I will know that it is part of this process, that I will learn something necessary about myself from my decision. But then I will be like nature and move on, realigning with this process of creating my new self, once again on my path, for that is my intent. This is not a selfish endeavor, but a deeply spiritual endeavor, for I know that by my intent to constantly realign with my soul’s intent, I am influencing the energy of the intent of all soul’s to evolve.

Taking one more intentional, infinitesimal step along the Middle Way, and wishing you all good intentions for a very Happy Changing New Year,
Jan

A Day in a Life: A Journey Of The Utmost Importance

Who are we at our core?

“In the shamanic world, what you went through is preparation for living a different kind of life, and that kind of life can be had when one is ready to view one’s life as a journey of the utmost importance.”

Chuck spoke these words to me when I was in the midst of recapitulating my childhood sexual abuse. They were transformative words, words of light in the midst of deep personal agony, for they focused me on the intent of my journey through this life. Why am I here? What am I supposed to learn about myself? What is the greater meaning of all that happens in this world? Once again, these words rang through me as I contemplated what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School last week.

I believe that we are all on journeys of the utmost importance, whether our lives are long and fulfilling or cut short. So, what are we to make of the senseless shootings at Sandy Hook? What meaning can we find in that tragedy, in the deaths of so many young children and the educators who dedicated their lives to engaging and teaching the youngest members of our society, a most important job?

We must face ourselves. We must face the world we have created. We must take this senseless act as a final wake up call and we must not go back to sleep. We must all take a journey of the utmost importance now and change ourselves and our country.

We must allow ourselves to feel every aspect of this most horrific act of violence, really feel it, and be guided now along a new path. We must all partake in creating a new society, not one based on fear as we did after 9/11, but one based on compassion and caring for all living things.

We must not wipe the tears from our eyes and then go out and buy more guns to protect ourselves, arm teachers and bus drivers, as has been suggested. Had I been a gun owner I would have wept and then immediately destroyed my guns. Why is this not happening? Why do we still contend that to be armed is our right and our need? It’s not a need at all, it’s a contention based on fear. And so we must ask ourselves what we fear and why?

In countries where there are few guns, in places where even the police don’t carry guns, there are few shooting deaths as well. It’s a no-brainer. But here, in a society rampant with greed, we have become like complacent animals. Locked in our cages, we are fed more pills, more food, more poisons, than we can possibly need. So drugged are we by the ideas that we need more things, more protection, more guns, that our brains have numbed. We are no longer capable of independent thinking, feeling, and action. We are mere cattle crowded into feedlots, long ago having forgotten that we are free beings, on journeys of the utmost importance.

In the wake of this tragedy, it’s time to wake up and stay awake, to take up not guns but a new weapon called compassionate change that is based on what is universally right for all living beings. Are we a nation of killers, or are we a nation of good, of kindness, compassion, and love?

Change happens slowly and it also happens in an instant, as the shootings at Sandy Hook show us so clearly. If we are truly on journeys of the utmost importance, it’s up to each one of us to take up the cause of personal change now—right now—to instantly turn away from violence, hatred, fear, and instead become truly caring beings. But we can only do this by facing our own deepest fears, by challenging ourselves to stay awake and really confront what lies at our deepest core, to question what is holding us back from becoming the truly amazing and loving beings that we are meant to be.

The shots at Sandy Hook were heard around the world. And now the rest of the world is waiting to see what we will do in the wake of so many truths so loudly declared, that is: that guns kill; that we had regressed into an angry, entitled, fearful nation; that we are no longer the shining star to look up to for guidance. How many times must we make the same mistakes? How many wake up calls do we need?

We must all face what we have become and take full responsibility for not only where we now find ourselves—those overfed cattle in the feedlots—but for our own thoughts, actions, and deeds as well. In our complacency we’ve let a lot of things happen, but now we are being rallied to really change, and to change drastically. If we are truthful, we will look at our world with open eyes and truly see that there is so much that is going in the wrong direction, and that each one of us has a duty to get on the bandwagon of change, in whatever way we can, and turn it in a new direction. But first, as I said, we must begin by changing ourselves. We must investigate our own attitudes, fears, and prejudices by asking ourselves why we feel so entitled, and why we continue to fear, judge, and criticize others rather than face ourselves.

Do we have to face yet more jolting wake up calls? Or can we take up a new cause now and take our journeys of the utmost importance in a new direction, to a higher level of conscious awareness and action so that those who died last week—those who gave us this most frightening wake up call—will not have died in vain. Let their journeys be considered journeys of the utmost importance by truly taking action to change ourselves and our country, and show the world that what lies in our hearts is what now leads us forward.

In sympathy,
Jan

Readers of Infinity: Be Energetically Conscious

Light a lantern for peace…

Dear Jeanne, please guide us.

Acknowledge first that you are human and as a human being you too are fallible. You too are capable of brutal acts. You too are due to do wrong at some point in your life. Do not dismiss the truth of evil within the self, for it exists as surely as the good exists within the self. Now look at the self as a spiritual being. Note that the same considerations must apply, for even in spirit are all beings capable of good and evil alike.

As conscious citizens of the world, it is your duty to remain conscious of good and evil at all times. Question the self constantly as to whether the thoughts you put out are harmful or not, whether the decisions you make are contributing to an energy that is good or bad. Use your energy wisely, for all of you are responsible for the world you live in. Do not leave it to a few to make the decisions that affect the many. Everyone has energetic impact.

In your own hearts you know right from wrong, love from hate. You know that your energy is powerful. Now is the time for you to use it powerfully in all that you set out to do. Abide by the laws of love and kindness, compassion and good. Be citizens of a new energetic morality that springs from the eternal knowledge of life as energy and each of you as energy as well. Elect a consciousness of good, and live with a gentle presence in the world. Elect to be compassionate and loving.

Elect to change the self now more fully, for there is no time to waste. Do not look outside the self for change, but look within. Society at large will not change until each one of you turn inward and rout out the dismal enemies that you carry within; until you purify your being, body and spirit; until your energy flows freely and lovingly toward all beings; until hatred is eradicated from you and all beings are accepted as energy too.

Change the self constantly. Confront the self constantly. Move into simpler life now, as you embrace the needs of a nation and a world for greater change.

Each of you matters in this process. If it is to have lasting impact, each one of you must be involved in an energetic shift away from excess and greed to the real deal, which is that life is precious. You have it for such a short time. Do something magnificent with your time there. By setting your intent to do so, you will have an impact on the shift that is now so necessary.

Be gentle and loving in thought, word, and deed—inwardly, to the self—as you face your deepest issues and deal with those. Get to your own roots and eventually you will get to the roots of everything and everyone, for the same roots grow through all living beings.

Be aware and conscious as you take your heart’s speak seriously. Take it more fully into your world now, for you and the world need it.

Thank you.

A Day in a Life: Solstice Balancing Act

Change comes in every sunrise and moonrise…

I am aware that I am fully responsible for myself, for my mental, physical, and spiritual health. I am aware that life on this plane, on earth, constantly offers every opportunity to experience all that I seek. I am also aware that life constantly offers the opportunity to change myself, and my circumstances, but that it’s up to me to take the leap, to decide that now is the time to take a leap of faith and trust that life and the universe will support me.

Through a great part of this life I sought something outside of myself to bring me into balance: a lifestyle, a partner, children, a career, a spiritual practice, nature and the surety of the unfolding of each day as each sun rises and each moon sets and each moment leads to the next. All of these things are positive and important events in the life of an evolving being seeking wholeness, but as I journeyed further I began to discover that I no longer needed to look outside of myself so much anymore, for I held much of the balance I sought within. But even so, as I journeyed on, new things constantly arose, blips on the horizon that signaled something coming into my world, perhaps good, perhaps bad, perhaps nothing important at all. But I still had to decide what to do with what approached, whatever it might be.

What approaches most significantly now is anticipation itself, a restless wondering. It has been on the horizon for a long time now, in the coming of the Winter solstice on 12/21/12. We’ve all heard about it, as well as a lot of hoopla about the world ending. On the other hand, I cannot dismiss that hoopla, for I understand how important it is, how even hoopla can wake us up so that we take notice of something. Even hoopla offers opportunities: to regroup, to get into balance, to face the truths of ourselves and really change, finally becoming who we know we really are, allowing what we are capable of at the deepest level to emerge and fully live.

I also know what holds us back: FEAR—fear of making a fool of ourselves, fear of failure, fear of facing the honest truth of the choices and decisions we’ve made and why, fear of what others might think of us, fear that we are doing it all wrong. Fear that someone outside of us will judge, condemn, ridicule or taunt us burdens us so greatly that we let lots of opportunities go by. Oh, I couldn’t do that! What would people say!

What do we fear and why?

If we take all that energy that is going into being afraid, into wondering what will happen on 12/21/12, and instead of projecting it outwardly decide to focus on ourselves, we might begin to feel that great anticipation in a different way. If we pause and sit with what is inside us, as Jeanne suggests in Monday’s message, we might realize that our spirit is indeed anticipating change, eagerly awaiting our decisions. And not just on that date, but in general, for we live in a time of great change all the time. Jeanne has told us this many times and this statement is repeated often, not only among the spiritual communities, but in the mass media as well. It all depends on how you elect to interpret what that means. Does it mean someone else is responsible for that change? Or does it mean, as I am suggesting, that we are all responsible for daring to change ourselves. Now is a good time to sit and contemplate the change that our spirits might be anticipating, actually yearning for.

The solstice marks the ending of one season and the beginning of another, and it happens every year, twice a year to be exact, in summer and winter, as the sun reaches its highest and its lowest points relative to the equator. This is a natural occurrence that marks a shift; it always has and it always will. That’s nature working as nature does. Have we humans become so disconnected from nature that we don’t naturally feel this shift anymore? And why is this one supposedly so different? Is it in fact any different from this year’s summer solstice, or last year’s winter solstice? Is it only different because we’ve been told it is? Do we have to be shaken out of our complacency by the anticipation of something big occurring before we dare to take responsibility for ourselves, for thinking for ourselves, for acting independently in our best interests as citizens of the natural world, and as spiritually interconnected beings?

What is on the horizon for us all?

Many of us go through life afraid to change. We must be forced into it. Forced change comes in many forms: illness, divorce, death, birth, accident, loss, sudden and unexpected shifts in our world. In my case, forced change came in a barrage of unrelenting flashbacks that I could no longer ignore. Those flashbacks were synchronistically supported by the universe presenting me with all kinds of situations and truths. And so I knew that the only relief I would get was in facing my deepest issues and releasing myself from the hold they had on me. That was the catalyst to my doing a shamanic recapitulation: I could no longer hide from what was naturally occurring inside my own psyche! The psyche in imbalance, just as nature in imbalance, has its own ways of alerting us to change.

This is the other aspect of what we are all facing now as 12/21/12 looms on the horizon: the truth of the great imbalance that we humans have wrought upon this earth. We are out of balance with nature and have been for a long time. And yet, this natural phenomenon, a yearly solstice, portends to shake us up. The hoopla around this event is created by us, but in order to balance all that hoopla brewing outside of us, we must dare to face what is rising up inside of us first.

Keeping in mind that we are responsible for our progress in life—for our maturity, our spiritual growth, our ability to successfully navigate life—and if we remain open to changing ourselves now, we might succeed in giving ourselves the catalyst we need to make this next step of change really matter. Begin where you are. Begin where you are in your inner world and in your personal outer world.

I have long sought balance, achieving it quite successfully for long periods of time, and yet life does not let us get complacent. It seeks to shake us up. How many times must it shake us awake before we realize that it’s offering us the answers we’ve been seeking, and the only way to receive the gifts that life offers is to trust that they will be there for us? It’s an ethereal thing, this life, for in reality it’s nothing more than an illusion of moments, piles of moments. What makes those moments important and significantly meaningful is what we choose to do with them. Do we choose to face our issues and accept them as our catalysts to change? Can we all accept 12/21/12 as our personal wakeup call, no matter what happens outside of us? Can we dare ourselves to take the next step to a new level of existence, coexistence, mutual consideration and caring for all beings, and bear our truths, just as we ask our planet to bear what we have done to it?

It’s time to beat a different drum…

If we change ourselves, part of the world has changed. The more people who elect to change themselves, the more the world will change. There is power in that kind of change, in numbers of people electing to change themselves for the right reasons: because all living beings are equal, because our planet is a living thing too.

The solstice will arrive. I suggest trusting nature and the universe to guide us, to show us the way to true balance, as we each acquiesce to our own truths and take full responsibility for ourselves as individuals and as citizens of the world. Nature balances by constantly giving and taking, in tension and release, in yin and yang, in contraction and expansion.

What must we take and what must we give up in order to regain our personal balance, to relieve our personal imbalance? The only way to truly figure this out is to pull inward and release what is holding us back from our true experiences as living beings.

Remember, it’s a process, so don’t be too rigid; keep in mind that balance requires flexibility. Nature is challenging us to get in balance, because it’s time.

Yinning and Yanging,
Jan

Readers of Infinity: Seek Balance

Seek to balance the self…

Dear Jeanne: What message do you have for us today?

Notice polarity and tension, notice imbalance in your lives and seek to remedy these most unnatural states of being. Notice how your lives present you with so many options and yet how you gravitate to the same ones.

Becoming part of the natural balance of all things requires that awareness of self and surroundings be keen, that your place in the grand scheme of things be a priority. In this adjustment of self in the universe—in your own home universe of body, mind, and spirit first—you will eventually be led to a new balance in relationship to all other beings and the universe-at-large. Relationship that is mature, grounded in nature, and that flows through you in a life that is lived in simple balance—as you learn how to both give and take within the natural balance of all things—is the key to happiness upon that earth.

All beings will benefit if each one of you correct your personal imbalances—your extremes, your polarities. With your desires checked, your inner balance calm and accepting of all you do as part of a process of growth, so will your journey through life be rewarding. This process entails constantly learning what it means to be in balance with all living beings, while at the same time letting go of self-discrimination and judgment, freeing the self of old ideas, while simultaneously accepting full responsibility for the journey you are on.

Nature constantly adjusts…

Seek balance in the middle way, traveling the middle road, taking the middle path, for that is where the Earth itself constantly seeks its own balance. In between birth and death, between light and dark, between near and far, between inner and outer is there always a midpoint where all contentions, disagreements, externalized projections and internalized disputes will find a place of rest and contemplation.

This place of rest upon the middle road offers mature and sober distance from the polarity of everyday contention—inner and outer—offering clarity and insight not otherwise achieved, and thus the balance required for full commitment to a path of growth and change in balance with all living things may be gained.

Be conscious of the self today as you experience the energy outside of you. This is the place to start. The outer energy may be experienced as quite powerful, and so balance will be found in turning deeper inward, as you ask the self why you feel drawn toward that outward pull, knowing full well that it is extreme and will only lead to imbalance once again. In inward contemplation will you discover that the outer tension will soon dissipate and balance be regained.

Contemplate the middle way…

Gaining personal inner-outer balance is the first step to gaining better balance overall and this is what I suggest doing today: Question everything you are pulled to, pausing for a moment to determine if it is right or wrong for you to engage in. Make your decisions based on what you know already by your previous experiences and on what comes to you during this pause. This is where balanced guidance comes from, from deep within the self. Though its voice may be hard to hear at first, the longer you sit with it, the better you will hear its words of wisdom.

You will experience a new mature self in balance with nature and all living things more often as you do this practice. The energy of this new mature self has the potential to spread into the lives of all other living beings upon that planet, for you are all part of the greater universe. Your true wisdom lies in gaining balance so that you may tap into its healing power and its knowledge of the far greater unseen energy of a universe in balance, all aspects traveling along the same middle road.

Thank you to Jeanne for this most inspiring message, especially as we come into a time that is traditionally a time of extremes, with overconsumption and overspending being the old way. The world needs us all to do something different now. What will our choices be as individuals and as a whole? I think it matter greatly.

Most humbly channeled with my deepest gratitude to Jeanne and all of you for being part of this journey. -Jan