All posts by Jan

#741 A Conversation With Jeanne

January 10, 2011 Jan Leave a comment

Written by Jan Ketchel and including channeled guidance from Jeanne Ketchel.

Last week I wrote about restlessness as being a catalyst for change and it often served me well, for I believe that we are here to change, that to evolve we must confront our restlessness and use it wisely to keep growing. I use the terms growing and evolving in the sense of allowing ourselves to have experiences in life that lead us to a higher awareness of ourselves as beings on a mission.

What is my purpose for being alive? What is my mission? At pivotal points in my life these are the questions that have spurred me to keep going. I could never imagine life as anything but extremely meaningful, but I also always knew it to be a very personal journey. Awareness of myself as a separate being on a singular journey arrived early, but it has taken many years to sift through the rhetoric of interference, what the seers of ancient Mexico call the foreign installation, the conjuring, rational mind.

The rational mind seeks concrete answers and explanations, wants everything lined up, quantified, labeled. The seeker side of the self may have experiences that cannot be so neatly tied up and explained in acceptable terms. If I tell someone I have experienced myself as pure energy, I may be met with disbelief and dismissal by a rationalist, or I may be met with excitement by a fellow explorer of energy. Both reactions are right, for we do live in a world of rational concreteness, but we also live in a world of wonderful energy. Once I allowed myself to really explore the world of energy that I had indeed always known and experienced, I learned how to detach from the foreign installation, personal importance, and being offended when someone dismissed me as just another kook.

In reality, I am a very pragmatic person, not lent to over-exaggeration or fanaticism. Basically, I have learned to live in two worlds and am quite excited to be in both of them.

Ten years ago, I began a shamanic journey with Chuck and Jeanne Ketchel. It was right about this time of year when the last great restlessness struck me and I knew, with a certainty I had never quite acquiesced to before, that I was about to embark on a journey of total change.

It was a year of shattering, of breaking through personal blockages. It was the year of September 11th and the year Jeanne died. It was a year of beginning a journey to new life, for out of the rubble of shattered lives rises the phoenix, transformed energy burning brightly, as it rises above the flames of destruction, carrying only the energy of truths revealed, reincarnated in new life.

What have we all learned in the past ten years? What have we done with ourselves and our lives that is worthy of speaking about? What have we done as a nation to promote healing and compassion both at home and in the world? What have we done on a personal level for ourselves and others?

Once again I feel restless because I feel that we are on the verge of another catalyst that will force us to change, for perhaps we did not truly pay attention to the true meaning of the events of ten years ago. Even though I have experienced incredible personal change, and even though there are so many more people spreading the message of the importance of personal transformation—not in a religious sense but in a perceptive sense—the Deepak Chopras, the Eckhart Tolles; the many people who have dared to become open channels, who have shed self-importance in order to bring forth the news of the dire necessity for change.

Something else is going to come along to shake us out of our boots again. It has to, for we have not done our homework on a national and global level. Yes, we have done a lot of work, but the true messages of change have not spread as they should.

People, Jeanne says, have become more isolated, more protective, more selfish, more inferior in their thinking. Isolationism breeds contempt for fellow human beings. Isolationism leads eventually to destructive energy. Isolationism breeds fear and that is the energy that now permeates the earth. Fear abides so strongly upon that earth that it cannot contain itself.

It will now begin a pounding at the doors of reality as you know it, seeking expression and release. There are two options:

1. to recognize it for what it is, fear of the unknown, and confront it, or

2. to allow it to rule, to dominate further, creating more destruction.

Fear is the only enemy upon that earth. This is true on an individual level, a national level, and a global level. Fear, once induced, like labor, will deliver what it holds within. Allowing it to release will have one kind of outcome. Allowing it to dissipate by close examination of what it truly is will have a strikingly different outcome.

Fear breeds fanaticism, which breeds destruction. Claim fear as a catalyst to personal change by wrestling it down inside the self. Face it head on, on a personal level, each one of you, and see what it really is that causes your personal restlessness, your personal discomforts, your personal anxiety, and your personal stagnation. I guarantee that it is not really anything outside of you that is so bothersome, but only something inside you.

If everyone voluntarily turned inward and confronted and cross-examined the fears inside them, the world would set a course correction for peaceful resolution and change. However, at this time, there is too much reliance on outer sources of energy, electricity of the manmade sort, rather than reliance on the inner sort of electrical energy.

Mankind is on the verge once again of choosing a new way of life, of freeing himself from destructive behaviors and old fears. If you knew everyone else had the same fears and the same desires, would you be less afraid? If you knew that everyone sought peace, happiness, love, and earth-oriented living, would you be less judgmental? If you knew that the sadness you truly feel inside you is felt equally deeply by everyone else, would you allow yourself to feel for others as you do for yourself? If you knew that today was your last day on earth, would you change your reliance on fear? Would you acquiesce to the fact that your energetic self truly exists? Would you let go of all that you hold so important and realize that none of it truly matters? Would you let yourself go free?

Jeanne, you are really quite confrontational today!

Yes, I am, for it is indeed time to shake things up on an energetic level. Take note: Your world is about to change. What are you going to do about it?

I suggest that each one of you find your inner self. Get to know it extremely well. Find out how it reacts to life and why. Don’t accept everything the mind tells you. Don’t dismiss so easily what your body tells you. And don’t dismiss your energetic resonance. Please learn what it means to be an energetic being. It will serve you well in the year to come.

Are you suggesting a big change? On a global level?

I am suggesting that the potential for disaster created by man’s fear of man is imminent. However, disasters have a way of being averted by those who choose to feel rather than judge. Become a feeling being and you will understand what I am talking about.

This message is for all of humanity. Look to nature to guide you in this energetic endeavor, for nature carries the answers. And you may need to turn to nature for your very survival, if all does not go well.

Instinct, feeling, heart-centered awareness of the self and all human beings as journeyers to enlightenment, to God-energy, will aid in the release of deep-seated fears. You must learn to look always within if you are to save the planet and learn to dispense with fear as the energetic driver of change. Allow something much more profound to enter your being and take over the course of humanity. A new direction is being revealed. Do you see?

Yes, Jeanne, I believe that many people upon the earth truly want change that is good, pure, and sensitive, that humanity as a whole wishes to be unafraid, to be freed of fear and judgment. But I also believe, as you say and through my work with other journeyers, that the biggest blockage is within each of us. We must learn to free ourselves first. Thank you for this message.

Dear Readers: Pass it on and help create the new energetic network of transformation and change that Jeanne suggests is so personally necessary for each of us to partake in, for all our sakes, and the planet too. And then set a personal intent and let it go to the energy of all good intent, to the Universe, who has a way of returning it to us in just the right way, at the right time, and in just the right amount.

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below.

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Intending Change

January 5, 2011 Jan Leave a comment

I have been practicing intent as prescribed by the seers of ancient Mexico to enact change. Every day I state my intent and let it go out into the universe. I shout out or silently speak the word: INTENT! Sometimes I don’t even feel that I have to keep repeating each personal intent that I have set, I just shout the word INTENT and ask that my already prescribed intent bind with the intent of the seers of ancient Mexico, with the intent of the women seers, with don Juan, and with the intent of good, because I feel that it is important to imbue my intent with pureness of heart.

In the old days, before I did a recapitulation of my childhood and learned about the seers of ancient Mexico, I would take drastic measures to force change in my life. My favorite method of enacting change in those days was to move, sometimes across the country or even sometimes across the ocean to another country. I once counted eleven moves in seven years, from state to state, city to city, apartment to apartment. Sometimes I moved alone, sometimes with a partner or with a husband. When it was impossible to move house I would rearrange the furniture in every room, shoving and pushing sofas, beds, dressers, bookshelves around until I got just the right feeling that I was seeking. Often I was seeking a sense of contentment, peace of mind, inner quiet and if my outer environment could reflect that I could calm down.

Restlessness was more often than not the catalyst for these moves, a restlessness that I bore my entire life but never quite understood as a deeply inner restlessness. I thought I just needed to keep moving all the time, that I was innately a person who sought experience and adventure, but it wasn’t until I sat down with Chuck and began to explore that restlessness that it revealed itself as something else. It took a while for me to fully grasp that with all of that moving and rearranging I was trying to run away from none other than myself.

During the recapitulation of my early childhood I understood just what it was that I was running from, devastatingly frightening memories of experiences of near annihilation that would have sent anyone fleeing. I learned to sit in one place and bear the tension of those memories as they reappeared, not to haunt me this time, but to teach me something about myself. I learned that, even though I wanted to get up and run, sell my house and move to another town, another city, another country, I did have the courage to stay and face the demons, as I had once done so strikingly well as a child.

In facing my demons, both my old abuser and my personal inner demons who had stood by me for the first fifty years of life, becoming increasingly more familiar as each year passed, I learned not only about how useful they had always been to me, but also how well I had utilized them to keep going, to stay not only alive but to grow up and eventually be ready to recapitulate. I learned that my inner demons were not all scary beings, that many of them helped me, that in fact I controlled many of them for my own purposes. I learned how powerful I had become, mostly in order to keep them quiet and to feel safe.

Now after having learned the lessons of recapitulation, one of them being that we hold everything inside us, I no longer feel the urge to run when I feel the need for change in my life. I know that in simply sitting, by intending change on an energetic level, I can profoundly impact my life and the lives of those around me. When restlessness hits me these days, I acknowledge its powerful intent. I thank it for alerting me to the fact that I am perhaps stagnating again and that, yes, I do indeed need to shift, but then I sit with it. I ask it what it wants, why it came at this moment, and I look for the deeper meaning inside myself now, rather than focusing it outside of myself.

When the universe sends me a sign asking me to change I know that it means I must re-examine where I am and why I am here. Perhaps it indicates that an inner course correction is necessary, or that I am not fully present each day, or that I have slipped a little too far from what is most meaningful in my life. Perhaps it indicates that I have fallen back into an old pattern of behavior that no longer works for me, that I am doing something to myself that is harmful or just plain old boring. Perhaps it is pointing out something as simple as an old idea or judgment of myself that is simply not true, but perseverates along an old path of thinking, a trench long ago traversed and worn deep, a trench that I actually got myself out of a long time ago.

Perhaps when restlessness arises now it is time to reenter that trench one last time and look more closely, with eyes wide open, at the false images and ideas of myself that I once had, to now fully grasp how wrong they were and are. Then it is time to turn my eyes upon the truth of where I am now, who I am now, and more fully embrace that changed being that I have worked so hard to become.

Perhaps when restlessness comes knocking now it is just telling me that it is okay to be me. It is okay to intend change, to keep going, to want to grow and to evolve. It is okay to leave the past behind, but only when it is fully revealed and done. It is perfectly acceptable to move into life more fully whole and present, truths accepted, self accepted. It is perfectly acceptable to fulfill even more of my personal potential in a more meaningful way, without fear that someone will be offended or that I have to carry old burdens or demons that are no longer useful.

Intending change, by sending our intent to the universe that is so ready to help us, is perfectly all right and perfectly right. It is perfectly acceptable to keep seeking to be all that we can be. After all, what else are we here for?

INTENT! INTENT! INTENT!

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#740 On Becoming a Person of Awareness

January 3, 2011 Jan Leave a comment

Written by Jan Ketchel and including channeled guidance from Jeanne Ketchel.

When I began my recapitulation journey, a life changing journey, I easily identified Jeanne as a main guide in my life when she appeared before me in a numinous experience that I could not have conjured up, nor fully comprehend, at the time. From that first appearance and as she reappeared again and again, I began to trust the experiences of her, whether in visionary or energetic form. Later I was able to identify other helpers as well, sometimes just unknown guiding voices that spoke clearly and soberly, offering me straightforward and pragmatic advice as I journeyed onward. But what I learned from Jeanne at the very beginning was the importance of continually allowing myself to trust the guidance I was receiving.

It was not an easy process. It entailed not only learning to trust the truth of the memories that were triggered and resurfacing almost daily, but also to trust the universe as a whole, learning that it was all I really needed in order to evolve. This was a major step in both learning how to let go and how to become more aware.

Jeanne says: All wisdom lies within. As a New Year begins it is time to more fully accept this fact, that you alone are enough, that you have within you all that it takes to learn to trust, to learn awareness, but also to learn what it means to truly love both the self and others. Only in learning these things will your wholeness be fully available to you.

She often told me, as I elected to go on a journey of total personal transformation, that all I had to do was trust, be open to the signs that appeared before me, but that to fully trust I had to learn how to let go of the old me. This meant letting go of my need to control everything in my life, in my everyday world, but also releasing control of my thoughts, emotions, feelings, and what came out of my unconscious. I had to learn to let the universe become my guide. This letting go was often as painful as the reliving of memories, but it was equally freeing and necessary.

Jeanne says: In learning to let go of the controlling self—both the known controlling self, the everyday self who acts and sees and relates to the prescribed world, and the unknown, hidden, controlling self who sits upon an inner throne and dictates and directs life as if it were a play—one begins to not only act and relate differently but one begins to perceive differently too. One becomes gradually more aware; aware that in letting go of controls one receives new life and new energy.

Letting go of the old self is part of the process of learning to trust, as I learned from my work with Chuck as my shaman guide in this world and Jeanne as my shaman guide in the world where awareness counts above all else.

Jeanne says: Awareness means being present in an uncommon way, in the form of heightened alertness to the world around you, fine tuning all your senses, but also the innate ones that all of you have buried deeply within. These innate senses are rejected by most Western cultures and thus become dormant, often never revived in a lifetime. In becoming a person of awareness, one asks these innate capabilities to awaken and guide one’s progress through life. In becoming a person of awareness, life will be perceived in a different manner, but this must become acceptable and that is where I stress learning to trust all that comes to greet you from outside and inside. It is only in learning to trust your experiences that you will understand what I am talking about. Life is meant to be experiential. And I do not mean only in the world you perceive every day, but in the worlds that you may not notice except only occasionally.

I learned to trust the guidance I received during the process of recapitulation, over time, as I plodded along one step at a time. I learned, by doing, to let go of preconceived ideas, of judgments, expectations, and really everything I thought was so important, indeed everything I had learned since infancy. I learned to reinvent myself in my own image.

In teaching the process of awakening and awareness, I must fully agree with Jeanne that the most important step is learning to trust your personal experiences, the experiences that life and your body offer, whether they are physical, mental, emotional, paranormal, numinous, psychic; any experience that shifts you, that jolts you out of yourself and your world, that unexpectedly throws you, exposes you or presents you with experiences of the sublime, the magical, the fearful, the darkness, God, the angels, clarity, enlightenment, etc. These are the experiences to pay attention to. They teach us how to trust and how to let go, so that we may have the opportunity to evolve if we so choose.

Another important lesson in learning to trust the universe in a process of transformation is learning patience. “All good things will come,” Jeanne always used to tell me, “just wait.” Sometimes that meant waiting patiently for years, holding onto the truth of time, keeping the inner light honed on moving forward, knowing that eventually everything would work out just fine. “When the time is right, when you are ready, when the universe is in the right alignment you will evolve to a new stage of life.”

As we begin this New Year I am going to be allowing the Monday channeling session to evolve, without preconceived format, to be open to what feels right to offer—conversations, tips, experiences, etc.—as each week brings something new. It’s a New Year, so it’s time for something new!

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below.

Most fondly and humbly offered.

News and Notes

Keep Passing It On

December 25, 2010 Jan 1 Comment

Dear Readers and Fellow Journeyers,

Today, we end this year’s blogging with a note of love and appreciation to all of you who read our work, who seek personal transformation, who pass on the messages from Jeanne, the contents of our writings, and the spirit imbued in this website: energetic intent, freed of commercialism and monetary gain.

How we elect to live our lives effects everything else. How we choose to challenge ourselves sends a message to the universe that we are or are not open to the energy that is seeking us in return.

Gift the self by seeking change. Challenge the self to be honest, truthful, open and impeccable in the face of personal confrontation. With gentleness and love go into the New Year. It awaits, prepared to be evolutionary, revolutionary, energetically charged with opportunity, possibility and guidance.

Happy Holidays! Be safe. Be strong. Be tender. Be loving with the self and others. Life is meant to be what it is: energy in action. Pass it on.

We take a break over the next week and will return on January 3, 2011 with something new.

Love and good wishes to all,
Jan and Chuck

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Magic & Insight

December 22, 2010 Jan 1 Comment

A few weeks ago, I began reading a book called Anastasia, the first book in The Ringing Cedars Series, that someone had mentioned to me over a year ago. It is another “magical” book—series of books really—infused with powerful energy. I finished reading Anastasia and one night last week, before bed, I picked up the second book in the series and laid it on top of my dream journal as I prepared for bed, intending to read it next. That was all I needed to do to have a profound dream experience, touch the book with intent. Here is the dream I had that night:

I give birth to a girl child although I am not pregnant. In the dream, I go to the bathroom and, sitting on the toilet, I begin to feel and intuit that I am having a baby. At first it feels like a log, like I have a huge log stuck in my vagina. I try to feel with my hand if the baby is in fact down the birth canal or if the cervix is dilated. I move off the toilet after I see blood and go to look in a mirror. In the mirror I see the head has already emerged and so I know for sure that I am giving birth. I also know, from experience, that once the head is out the hard part is over and that the baby will come fast now. I have a moment of panic that it will get stuck like this, halfway out, and that I will have to walk around with a half-birthed baby protruding from my crotch. But in the next instant the baby pushes out. I catch her easily and bring her up to my breast. We bond immediately. She smiles up at me, looks deeply into my eyes, and snuggles against me. I hold her close, knowing that the warmth of our two bodies is enough to keep us safe, even in the coldest of climates.

I remember the book Anastasia at this point in the dream and the title character who contends that a child can survive in the world, even naked, as long as it is held close. I don’t know if she actually says this in the book, but this is what I get in my dream and she herself had survived in the Siberian Taiga through close nurturance and care by animals.

At this point, I take the baby to my parents who are sitting at a cafe table talking to my brother who died. I tell them I have had a baby and I show her to them, but they do not even look at her or show the least bit of interest. They say nothing and just stare blankly, gazing right through me, as if I don’t even exist. My brother looks at me tenderly and shrugs as if to say: “What did you expect?”

I walk away from them and bump into a few other people I know. I am aware that I have dried blood on my legs and that the baby and I are almost naked. I am wearing a short white shift, similar to what Anastasia is described as wearing, and I have the baby wrapped in a shawl. The people I meet acknowledge her, but only in uneasy glances. She is not well received or given any attention. I accept this, even though at first I am puzzled by the lack of interest, because I am having a most amazing experience, full of insight and intuition and I feel totally calm and at peace with this baby in my arms. I also know that she belongs only to me, that she is my responsibility and that I do not really need acknowledgement from others.

The details of the dream get fuzzy at this point, but the child grows almost immediately into a small thin creature, more doll like than human. I watch her running and skipping around. She can talk from the moment of birth like a well educated, spiritually evolved adult, full of wisdom and insight. I know that I must watch her carefully, not let her stray too far from me, and that I must keep her warm so that she not only survives, but also thrives.

As time goes on, I realize I have been forgetting about her more and more, that I forget to warm her against my body, that I am neglectful of her. When I notice she is looking cold I grab her, hold her against me and apologize for my lack of attention, but then I let her go again. At one point I see her lying in the shawl on the ground, not moving, and when I pick her up I see that she has dried up and that her right arm has cracked and broken off, as if she were made of clay. I feel terrible because I forgot all about her and let her get cold and dehydrated to the point of partially crumbling into dust. I am worried that she is dead. I am aware that I must take better care of her, that I must never forget about her again.

The dog woke me at 5:30 in the morning and I immediately forgot this dream. After I let the dog out I returned to bed, feelings of the significance of the dream staying with me, but still unable to recall it. The only thing I could remember was that I had dreamed of a log. As I lay in bed I felt a heavy feeling, almost a soreness in my pelvic floor. I heard a voice say: “Do a Kegel exercise,” which any woman knows is an exercise to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, especially recommended after giving birth. As soon as I squeezed the muscles I immediately recalled the dream. I had indeed felt like I had given birth in the night and my body held the memory of it until I recaptured it! From that point on the dream reemerged and as the day went on more details became clearer.

Immediately I noted the significance of having set the intent to read the second in that magical book series. I won’t go into details, but the series is based on the experiences of a Russian man who, in 1995, meets a woman, Anastasia, living in the forests of Siberia. She is energetically alive and evolved. His experiences in her company remind me of Carlos Castaneda’s experiences in the company of don Juan, and of my own experiences with Jeanne. Anastasia tells him things that he cannot imagine ever happening and yet they do, similar to my own experiences with Jeanne. Anastasia is directly connected to and channels energy and insight related to the planet and the environment. Whenever I have asked Jeanne questions about the environment, she has always stated that there are other soul groups working on that and that it is not her expertise. Jeanne is connected to a soul group that is involved with soul advancement. This distinction struck me, as I read the first book and thought that perhaps Anastasia is connected to this environmentally concerned soul group energy.

Anyway, that was my first insight as my dream unfolded, that I had set the intent. The second insight I got was that this dream was about my personal transformation. When I recapitulated my childhood, when my abuser did in fact molest me with wooden objects, I rid them from my body as I relived each memory. In the dream, perhaps I feared that this was just another wooden object, another memory to be removed, but then I see life, a real baby instead of a log. I see this as indicative of the transformational process; having released the trauma I can now allow myself to give birth to new life within myself.

When I attempted to show the child to my parents and other acquaintances neither it nor my transformational process was given any attention. In every attempt to introduce this innocent child to the world, the old world, there was no resonance. My personal experiences did not matter in that world. I received the insight that I must further detach from that old world now and more fully embrace this new world that the child represents. Anastasia’s story influenced my dream experience: I knew that the child must be nurtured to thrive. It was pretty clear and simple. All I had to do is keep her with me at all times. I am enough; I am all she needs.

However, I seemed to still need reminding of something, some piece was missing, because every time I laid the child aside, apart from my physical body, something happened to her. She got cold or brittle, and eventually dried up. When I discovered her all dried up and with a broken arm, I immediately felt deep remorse, regret, sadness and extremely guilty for leaving her to fend for herself. I realized that I had not been doing something right. I was killing her by forgetting about her. In the dream, I instinctively knew that I had to keep her close to me, that we did not need anything else, we were enough; that we were done with the old world, had already left it behind. We had already done the work of transformation. I was reminded, as I picked up the broken child in the end of the dream and held her close once again, that she is my innocent self, and that I must stay connected to her at all times, not just when I feel like it. I must remember that this is what my wholeness feels like, and yes, that I am enough. I also knew that if I stayed connected, bonded with her, that everything else would take care of itself, that life would unfold, as it should.

As the day went on and this dream stayed with me, I received a final insight. Pictures of the Virgin Mary holding the Christ child kept popping into my head, paintings from my art history books that I’d studied a long time ago. Each time one of these paintings came to me, I re-experienced holding that child in my arms in the dream, nestling against my chest, snuggling in, totally trusting me, totally calm, knowing that she was exactly where she belonged. As I re-experienced these feelings throughout the day—utter calmness, contentment, wholeness—I saw the significance of these paintings; virgin and child, maturity and innocence; appropriate symbols of giving birth to the Self and to true spirit innocence, which, in my case, I worked so hard to reunite with and nurture into life during my years of recapitulating my traumatic childhood, a time when I was mostly concerned with simply surviving. With this insight I now clearly understand the symbolism of the Virgin Mary and Christ Child as Whole-Self, complete. I had gotten it right, finally the missing piece was found.

We are all the Virgin and we are all the Christ Child in her arms. No matter if we are male or female, we are all totally capable of giving birth to the total Self. This is not the wounded child self, but Christ as innocence within, Self and God-Self fully merged. I know I must not be afraid to embrace this wholeness. I must not put her aside again or depart from the path. I must stay connected to this magic within. I know she was not damaged throughout the whole childhood journey; she remained whole, waiting for me to reconnect.

I know how hard it is to stay connected to this spirit self at all times. We must all deal with the reality of our lives and remain connected to this world, but I also know that the magic is available to us, reminding us that this is really the biggest challenge, to keep turning toward it. Once we have connected to the magic of our true spirit self, whether through our experiences, dreams, processes of inner work, through our intent to change, or through the books we elect to read, our challenge then becomes to never put it aside again, but to hold our experiences as close as a child in our arms, remembering why we are here and what we are really seeking. The magic is really inside each one of us.

I humbly offer these intent-dream-book-insight-magical experiences as we enter a new phase of winter magic. Happy Holidays! May they be magically meaningful, personally, by intent.