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A Day in a Life: A Shamanic Experience

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One day last week I sat down to meditate in front of a sliding glass door looking out over the deck and into the trees beyond. I focused my gaze on a spot at eye level in the leaves of the large catalpa tree and let it soften. In continually softening my gaze the leaves began to blur, my peripheral vision blurred as well and after a few minutes I was gazing at nothing more than a tiny pinprick of light. At first I did not attach any significance to this light, simply noted it, keeping my gaze on it.

As I concentrated on the point of light it began to float. It began to jiggle and shift in the blurred pattern of leaves. I became fascinated by this light, yet I also warned myself not to attach, to stop “looking” at it and simply let it be. “Achieving inner silence is much more intriguing and important than this pinprick of light,” I smugly told myself. Making a new attempt to banish all thoughts and soften my gaze I noticed that the light was moving again, this time coming towards me and that it now seemed to be something on the glass door.

“Oh,” I said to myself, “it’s just a raindrop!” But as soon as I noticed that, it retreated and was once again a point of light in the leaves. “Oh, perhaps it is just a speck of sky showing through the leaves,” I thought, now somewhat puzzled by what I was actually seeing. This shifting back and forth continued. As I watched in utter amazement the point of light was a tiny bit of sky one second and the next it was a raindrop catching the light on the door.

“Hey, wait a minute!” I said. “What’s going on here?” One minute I’m positive that I’m looking at a drop of water and the next I’m equally positive that I’m looking at a bit of sky. I watch this process with growing frustration and yet I resist the urge to get up off my pillow and investigate close up, aware somehow that this little show is for my benefit.

“STOP IT!” I finally yell out loud. “Calm down! Don’t you get it? It’s both. It is both a bit of sky showing through the leaves and a raindrop on the window and yet it is neither, so let it go!” With that I was able to detach from assigning a label, from creating a logical explanation, from affording it importance, from interpreting it in any way according to the foreign installation as the seers of ancient Mexico call the mind, of putting it into a context at all.

As Carlos Castaneda writes in The Wheel of Time:

“Human beings are perceivers, but the world they perceive is an illusion: an illusion created by the description that was told to them from the moment they were born.

So in essence, the world that their reason wants to sustain is the world created by a description and its dogmatic and inviolable rules, which their reason learns to accept and defend.”

I let go of all the rules. I let go of perceiving the point of light as anything in particular. I simply accepted its presence, without attaching any meaning or significance whatsoever. I allowed it to be part of my meditation practice.

As I let go, the light grew larger. I accepted it. I entered the light and held myself in its nothingness. In this place I was unaware of self, of light, of breath even. I was utter calm emptiness. I stayed for a moment, suspended, sustaining the nothingness of it, transported into a stillness that was so familiar, so known, so all encompassing that I almost resented leaving it.

As I returned to this reality I gave thanks for my experience, got up and walked away. It was only later that I realized I did truly get beyond the syntax of this world, for when I was done I did not, as I might have at an earlier stage in my life, investigate if there was indeed a raindrop on the window. It didn’t matter. It was the experience alone that mattered: letting go of this world in order to have an experience of another.

In The Art of Dreaming when Carlos is having difficulty understanding how he could possibly perceive what don Juan is telling him, they have the following conversation:

“The problem of validation always played a key role in my mind in those days,” says Carlos.

He goes on to say: “Forgive me, don Juan, but this business of the assemblage point is an idea so farfetched, so inadmissible that I don’t know how to deal with it or what to think of it.”

Don Juan retorted: “There is only one thing for you to do. See the assemblage point! It isn’t difficult to see. The difficulty is in breaking the retaining wall we all have in our minds that holds us in place. To break it we need energy. Once we have energy, seeing happens to us by itself. The trick is in abandoning our fort of self-complacency and false security.”

“It’s obvious to me, don Juan, says Carlos, that it takes a lot of knowledge to see. It isn’t just a matter of having energy.”

“It is just a matter of having energy, believe me. The hard part is convincing yourself that it can be done. For this, you need to trust the nagual. The marvel of sorcery is that every sorcerer has to prove everything with his own experiences. I am telling you about the principles of sorcery, not with the hope that you will memorize them but with the hope that you will practice them.”

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes for good experiences,
Jan

NOTE: Excerpts from the books of Carlos Castaneda mentioned in this blog come from The Wheel of Time p. 137 and from The Art of Dreaming pp. 9-10. These and other books are available through our Store.

Messages from Jeanne

#727 Awareness is Life

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Today Chuck asks a question.

Dear Jeanne,
The new seers of don Juan’s lineage determined that all sentient beings are granted life and awareness for the purpose of enhancing that awareness. With death they see a return or merger of that enhanced awareness with the source that originally sent it into life. How does this interpretation of life and death square with your experience?

What is key here in your question is awareness, for this is the essence of all existence, so I must state first of all that awareness is life, and as such there is no death. That must be established or there will be no understanding of passage from one world to another. Life itself exists in many forms and in many worlds, each life formulated to fit the needs and desires of the individual prescribed to mark a journey.

In other words, awareness/life fits many realms and individual beings for many reasons, but the most important is indeed to gain awareness so that further growth may happen. Personally, I have been on a journey of evolutionary growth, meaning that I no longer have desire or need to become human again, to embody that form. The world of human beings is one world, but there are other worlds. The last life I had upon that earth, though a deep struggle ensued, did result in my gaining enough presence/awareness to advance.

As you know, reincarnation is utilized for the purpose of enhancing awareness—or perhaps you did not know this—but in my experience the reason for life is indeed to gain new life, though this is not necessarily determined while in that world. But I will say that all life beyond that world is quite unusual!

In order to fully answer your question I must remain attached to simple facts, as follows:

1. Awareness is life, that which you cannot see but which you experience beyond the physical self and physical reality.

2. Death is not an end but a transformation leading to opportunity for new life.

3. Awareness, as individual life, does indeed merge with the greater awareness that is not individual but is all knowing. Yet does the essence of that individual (self) awareness remain cohesive forever. This is not to say that it does not change. An individual’s awareness must remain individual in order to garner enough information to grow.

4. The return of awareness to the greater source is but momentary, for with true growth there is no end of such awareness, no end of life.

To recap, I answer your question in the affirmative, yet do I also state that the experiences of each individual’s awareness will be personally relevant. The determination of progress will be personally necessary and challenging. Although the overall structure of a process may be similar, all individuals experience life and death most certainly for their own journey in the way that is most meaningful for them alone.

I do not like to speculate on an individual’s process or journey, except to promote learning of awareness, discovering the meaning of just that life, and preparation for that which is to come. Ignorance of or refusal of death is often attempted, but it is just not possible. Each individual is upon that earth for a set time and set reasons. Opportunities abound for growth, but choices must be activated and life’s vicissitudes addressed.

I realize I digress.

You do not mention the seers?

I do not ascribe to any group, as you know, except my own soul group. However, the seers had learned what all must eventually learn and their teachings are worthy of exploration. Learn wherever awareness waits for discovery. Find personal meaning, resonance, and direction. Face life without fear and learn, in so doing, to face death without fear, for they are but the same. Enhanced awareness, in carrying forth to evolutionary growth, will indeed find new direction upon death; that is certain.

A source exists for rejuvenation of purpose that will lead always to new life.

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message from Jeanne in the post/read comments section below.

Fondly and most humbly offered.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: A Somatic Recapitulation Experience—The Body Never Lies

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On Monday, as I was washing the breakfast dishes, I recalled the same day twenty-two years ago, the day before my son’s birth. He was my first child and I was nervous as the estimated date of arrival neared. On that day I stood in our apartment in Tennessee also washing the breakfast dishes. I broke a glass and cut my hand. The cut bled profusely. My grandmother had once told me the story of cutting her arm one day, quite deeply, and with no medical aid or doctor available she simply held the skin together applying pressure until the bleeding stopped, then wrapped it up with a clean cloth and in no time the skin knit itself back together again. Recalling this story at the time, I did the same thing. Not interested in rushing off to have the deep cut sewn up I washed it clean of the dishwater, applied pressure, held the skin together and tightly applied a Band-Aid. The cut hurt badly, but by the end of the day it was well on its way to healing.

Monday, which synchronistically happened to be this same grandmother’s birthday, I looked at my hand for the scar I knew was there, but could not find it. I knew it was somewhere on my right hand on the mound around the base of the thumb. I looked and looked but found no scar. It’s gone?! It didn’t seem possible. “Funny,” I thought, “that a scar like that could disappear.” I finished washing the dishes and went about my day having had this little recapitulation, soon forgetting it, letting it sink back into memory.

Later in the afternoon the heel of my right hand began hurting. It was a deep burning pain. As I worked I absentmindedly tried shaking it off, literally shaking my hand in an effort to stimulate circulation, rubbing it and wondering what I had done to it. Had I bumped my hand, bruised it, burned it? I couldn’t recall any recent injury. Then suddenly it dawned on me, my body was showing me where I had cut my hand twenty-two years earlier! Looking at the spot that was now so painful I found the old scar. There it was on the heel of my right hand, just where it should be, a white scar about an inch long just below my pinky.

My body was once again, as it had done throughout my recapitulation, reminding me that it does indeed hold all of my memories. My brief recapitulation of that day was enough of a trigger, setting the intent that allowed my body to experientially recall that memory more exactly than my mental recapitulation could. I found this little experience most interesting. “Very cool,” I thought, but even more so I appreciated the reminder that our bodies hold our experiences, even the tiniest details, until we are ready to recapture them.

I personally believe that most of the pain we carry, and most illness, is due to our pasts, whether the past of this life or of previous lives, that pain expresses that which is hidden or repressed. Louise Hay, in her simple yet informative book, Heal Your Body, describes her own process of discovering why she had cancer and how she used mental healing to cure herself. Her little book offers insight into the possible psychological causes of many illnesses and bodily symptoms.

Pain is a gift, a signal, a trigger to recapitulate, offering us the opportunity to do deep inner work, to bring into the light that which lies hidden in our physical bodies. When we investigate and reconcile our pain we offer ourselves yet another gift, not only the gift of freedom from pain but also the gift of what that freedom can open us up to. In unblocking our bodies we have the opportunity to become channels, channels of energy.

The other day, my own body once again underscored this truth: that within the body lies everything, not only our personal memories, but access to infinity, to that which we cannot see with our minds but know the truth of by our awareness.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes for fearless recapitulations.
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#725 The Option of Opting Out

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Do you have a message of meaning and importance to offer us today?

Stay heart-centered and connected to your spirit as you make your way along your path. No matter what comes to thwart you, remind yourself often that you seek your heart’s purpose and your spirit’s desire in life upon that earth. During this time of strife, turmoil, dysfunction or indeed even high energy, seek always the balance of stability in that reality combined with the calmness of inner truth.

It is a good idea to allow the self the option of opting out of situations that do not truly nurture, resonate, or further your growth. No matter what your present situation, I can guarantee that each one of you has something in your life that is not in synch, that is not working as you would like, or is inhibiting you in some way.

Be honest with the self first of all, utterly honest. Secondly, allow the truth you achieve to manifest itself so that you may act in your best interest, without compromise, even though it may mean the end of a period of time in your life that has been meaningful. Even though aspects of life may be meaningful they may also lack the truth of your spirit.

Listen to the guidance of your truth, though it may contradict the direction you have set out in. It may be time to take another path. It may be time to acquiesce to your innermost truth, which will come to enlighten you when you least expect it.

Find your inner balance. Sweep away all disturbances, both inner and outer, and allow your most intimate guide to aid you. This guide is not I or another like me. This guide is not some “other,” but it is only YOU.

You know who this YOU is better than anyone. This YOU constantly asks you to slow down, to simplify, to reduce your distractions so that your connection may become clearer and so that you may be in a position to truly comprehend and fully accept what is real and what is not real, what is truth and what is fiction, what is right and what is wrong.

Once you sort out your self, it is up to you to decide what to do with the truths you will carry uppermost in your knowing. Let them sit and teach you what you need to know.

I cannot stress strongly enough or often enough that you have within you all that you need to live a life of purpose, meaning, and true growth. Dedicate your life to this pursuit and you will open doors you did not even know existed.

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message from Jeanne in the post/read comments section below.

Fondly, innocently and most humbly offered.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Balance, Restless Dog & Broken Buddha

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Last week I wrote about balance being important during a recapitulation process, but maintaining balance is of course important at all times. By balance I mean everything from keeping the body and mind healthy with good eating, sleeping, exercise, and stimulating mental activity, to living a thoughtful, compassionate, loving, aware existence in the world, as well as finding a spiritual practice that personally resonates and allows for exploration of the inner self.

For me, balance means all of these things and much more. I’m in balance when I have time for creative work and meditation, even if only for a few minutes during especially busy or stressful times. I’m in balance when I cook, delighting in preparing even the simplest meal with fresh ingredients, and being offered the opportunity to share it in the presence of good company. I’m in balance when I take a few minutes to walk the dog or stroll down the road on a sunny afternoon taking in what nature offers. I’m in balance when I’m focused on a task or project. I’m in balance when I do inner work, attending to what arises during the day to puzzle or challenge me. I’m in balance when I write this blog. However, I awoke feeling very out of balance this morning and with absolutely no idea what I would write about today.

The dog was restless all night. We wondered if she was perhaps letting us know that her time here is almost done. She’s old. Her legs are bad. She’s deaf. When she sits outside in the yard the vultures begin to circle overhead. We’ve been noticing this phenomenon for weeks now, their keen senses of smell and sight picking up on the vulnerabilities of an old animal who would be unable, at this stage of life, to survive out in the wild. During the night I heard the coyotes howling several times and I wondered if she heard them too, calling her to the next world, come to accompany her spirit on its next journey. I worried about letting her out during the night, though she insisted, knowing that they were out there on the prowl.

She has a tendency to wander off. Early this morning I let her out for the millionth time since the night began and went into the kitchen to put the coffee on. Most of the time she goes outside and just stands motionless or wanders around marking her territory then heads back to the front door to be let back in, it’s a predictable routine. This time when I went to let her back in, she was nowhere in sight. Pulling on my rubber boots I went outside to look for her, noticing that the night sky with its brilliant spread of gleaming stars was beginning to cloud over. I saw her heading toward the neighbor’s open garage and set off at a jog, hoping to head her off before they discovered me standing between their cars in my pajamas. Before I could catch her she darted inside. Embarrassed, I darted in after her and coming up behind grabbed her by the thick mane around her shoulders, surprising her. She whipped around and stared at me, as if to say, “What the heck!? What are you doing?” Which is what I said to her.

Stubbornly, almost digging her heels in, she reluctantly allowed me to push, drag, and shove her back into the house. A little while later, Chuck had left for the office and she needed to go out again. By this time I was beginning to feel extremely frustrated, more out of balance at each scratch at the door signaling her desire to go out. This time I put a leash on her and took her for a walk. Upon returning to the house she refused to come back inside with me, though it was beginning to rain. I left her sitting outside, her leash looped around the neck of the stone Buddha we have sitting in front of our entryway. That ought to keep her safe, I thought.

Every few minutes I checked on her. Like the Buddha she sat quietly, sedately, the grand dame, the queen surveying her land, seemingly contented. All of a sudden she got up and before I could get to her she had dragged the heavy stone Buddha off the step. It fell, smashing its head into the step below, severing it from the body. The dog stood there, unaware of what had just happened. I grabbed the leash before she could do anymore damage and just stood there looking down at the beloved Buddha, the calm sentinel marking our door for so many years, now broken.

The Buddha has always been a symbol of balance to me, serene and calm, he sits unmoving, nothing bothers him and now he’s lost his head! “What does this mean?” I moaned, absolutely regretting the moment I had decided he was strong enough to keep our big dog from wandering. What does it mean indeed? I placed the head back onto the shoulders, where it now sits quite comfortably again. You would never know it was broken simply by looking at it.

I pondered the meaning of the Buddha losing its head. Suddenly I saw the significance of it: he doesn’t need his head! In other words, the Buddha is not the Buddha because of his head. He is the Buddha because he practiced losing his head, by sitting in stillness, detaching from the foibles of the conjuring mind. The Buddha is the symbol of mindlessness, empty head, having finally achieved ultimate clarity, enlightenment, and freedom from the temptations, frustrations, and restless activities of this world.

I must face my own attachment to this beautiful stone Buddha. Though the Buddha has lost his head I must not weep. I must be as contented as Buddha. Even now, with head severed by restless dog, he sits perfectly still, keeping watch over our front yard, still presenting me with the utter calmness of balance that I seek. Or perhaps now truly symbolizing what it means to maintain balance in life, that no matter what comes along to interrupt the flow of our lives or knock our heads off we must learn to anchor ourselves in the inner peacefulness and joy of just being.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love, good wishes, and balance.
Jan