Take back your projections, that which you have left with others to hold and treasure, to care for and nurture, both your fully adult self and your tender inner child self. It’s time to take back all that you are, that which you value and that which you despise about yourself. All of this equals your wholeness, that which you can tolerate about yourself and that which you cannot. You might think you are bad but you are just searching for your wholeness. It’s your spirit’s journey. Without blame or shame it’s time to bring home all that you are, to own and integrate all parts of the self, to love the self in a new way. You will never be whole until you do this for yourself, until you can bear the tension of all that you are. It’s the final shift of this phase now underway, within and without, and you are being invited to participate. This is how to do it: bring home your wholeness. Let your spirit guide you and let your body follow. Once this task is done you will be ready for the rest of life that is holding back waiting for you. Give yourself a gift today: your wholeness!
In our energetic origin and essence we are but a glow of awareness. We come from the light, we return to the light. From our origin as a glow of awareness we sink and are born into the dark heaviness of our human physical form and begin to perceive the world like our solid selves, as a world of solid objects. Our energetic luminescence is lost to us.
In our human form we are drawn to luminescence wherever it is reflected, a spark reminder of our lost energetic essence. This longing is the craving for union that underlies most human activity. The luminescence of our ethereal light is reflected materially in all matter of precious objects in our material world, most especially in gold and diamonds, symbols of great wealth and value, symbols of the divine that adorn the crowns of kings and queens, and closer to home in rings of commitment bestowed upon a beloved.
In the beginning, parents mirror a golden glow in their reactions to us. This loving smile validates us, gives us value. We seek out that which shines and enlivens us. Some of this mirroring validates us, some however is so powerful we see it as existing only in the person outside of us, never in ourselves. Thus, the other person is seen as the gold. Attention flowing from this luminescent other fills us with a glow. We become compulsive seekers of outside attention to merge with this experience of numinous luminescence.
Our lives on Earth have as our central mission, like the Olympian, to bring home the gold. If we can achieve perfection or notoriety we will be filled with the glow of grand attention, golden indeed. Thus perfection becomes the coveted gold, the golden standard of our worth.
Most often our vibrant energetic essence projects itself upon a golden other whom we seek to possess to recover our lost wholeness. Oftentimes the glow of this mysterious other is so powerful we are overwhelmed with anxiety in their presence. We feel unworthy of their attention or paralyzed by the glow of their beauty and majesty. An attraction of this magnitude can secretly dominate us for years.
For those able to connect with their mysterious other a magical period of glowing oneness, total blissful contentment, may be granted, if just for a little while.
In our day these romantic projections come and go rapidly as we are technologically opened to a very wide pool of possibility. Ah, what shining pearl might I find and meet tonight!
If a more lasting union prevails the shine inevitably begins to fade in the dullness of everyday life. Generally, disappointment results in expectation that the other change to restore the shine. Underneath we retain our childish experience of entitlement, wishing that the other refill our glow with their attention.
“I’m speaking, you looked away. I’m angry, deflated. Why? I was speaking; my story, my idea is golden. If you are not transfixed by what I bring it is not worthy, or you are too self-absorbed to appreciate it. I must see REFLECTED in your reaction the presence of my luminosity. Your attention verifies my worthiness.”
And what happens when a relationship ends, perhaps by death? Mourning is lost contact with our glowing other. Herein often begins a new journey, the journey to discover and recover the pot of gold at the end of our inner rainbow, our own soul, our energetic essence.
This is the journey we’ve all been on as we seek to obtain our true fulfillment, reflected as it has been in the gold of a million illusions of our materialistic accumulations, perfectionistic achievements, or soulmate relationships.
Ultimately, our definitive journey in infinity requires us to restore and become the original glow of awareness of our energetic essence. To prepare for this journey we must recapitulate all our magical experiences in this life and restore our energetic wholeness, nothing left projected upon others. And with this we become our luminous other.
Trial is ordeal. Fire is passion! Trial by Fire is enduring the ordeal of passion, a deeply challenging encounter, the encounter of now.
Human passion emanates from the root of our instinctual animal being. When activated our faces redden, our voices growl and howl, our bodies thrash and react involuntarily, seized by the heat of passion. Like flames in a fire, passion flails recklessly.
One step above this hot core of our fiery roots are emotions, which, though flushed with the fire of passion, are somewhat tamed by our ego as they churn in the furnace of our solar plexus. These are the more manageable emotions of anger, frustration, desire, craving, competitiveness, and narcissism.
Finally, at the mental region of the civilized self, are feelings, which have rationally transformed the fire at the root into energetic units of valuation. Here we have our feeling judgments: I like, want, need, am attracted to, am saddened by, repulsed by, made happy by, etc. These rational feelings bear little resemblance or relationship to their passionate roots.
Jung observed that the Christian era, which correlated with the Piscean Age of the past 2000 years, contributed greatly to the advancement of this mental plane in humanity, however, this at the expense of its connection with its earthly passions, which became the province of the rejected devil. Though this internal civil war was won at the spirit mental plane its resulting hegemony is wearing thin upon its devils below.
That brings us to today, the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, where those rejected devils have risen up in uncontrollable flames of passion as they sweep the Earth in actual fires, political uprisings, wars on social media, conflict in human relationships, and warring splits within the human psyche. From the outermost perspective the Earth itself has become an alchemical retort with fire its catalyzing agent, as all warring opposites are pitted against each other in a Trial by Fire indeed.
This appears to be the first spiritual challenge of the Aquarian Age: to take on the reconciliation of its formerly disowned passions, at its human animal core, with its high reaching values generated from its abstract mental plane. Apparently, the main technology of the Christian era, keeping separate the animal and mental selves, with the mental plane maintaining superiority, can no longer contain the needs of the self, or the world, as both push for a more comprehensive wholeness.
The unleashing of previously contained fiery passions upon the world stage, with wild abandon and without regret, is the approach stoked by those most in charge of world policy today. Many in the world populace now model this unleashing of fiery passion without restraint upon any who would oppose their positions. This Trial by Fire is producing many casualties. Justified or not, the fact is that these flames are rapidly burning down the foundation of modern civilization.
All must be where they are in the trial. For many participating in the fiery war of words, the outside world becomes the furnace of their transformative process. No one can be convinced to give up what they are attached to. When we argue and fight, our passions embody us, often at great cost to our energy reserves and inner balance. These battles are renewed in seemingly inexhaustible intensity as the world fights itself on social media.
Nonetheless, detachment is not a choice, it must be achieved. One method is through sheer exhaustion where passion exhausts the body and psyche and survival forces us to ultimately let go. Though a costly energetic approach, many are convinced that outer protest and confrontation are critical to change.
For those more innerly inclined, the furnace of transformation is the hologram of the self, which makes its worldly contribution through the axiom, as within so without.
To contain within the self all the warring passions of animal and spirit in a heated process—that looks not outside the self for the relief of blame—is a formidable furnace of transformation. Therapy is one such vessel for this process as we confront and own all that we are—passion and spirit—in a journey whose destination is greater wholeness vs. greater domination. As with the outer playing field, the inner playing field must itself arrive at a true place of detachment where truth prevails, special interests burned through.
Trial by Fire is where we are. Know that there is always sanctuary in the human heart. All must have their safe place to release and rejuvenate. Love is the most inclusive respite, as love can even love the part of the self that hates, but we must burn through much before we can truly inhabit it.
Nonetheless, heart-centered breathing heals the wounds and calms the nerves. Take advantage of it.
“I woke up in such a mood; I can’t seem to shake it.”
What is this heavy feeling state that mysteriously envelops us like a fog as it thwarts our familiar energetic sense of self. A mood hardly seems part of our typical ego consciousness. It seems to derive from elsewhere in the vastness of our psyche, having gained enough momentum to overtake and color our state of mind and energy for the day.
A mood is the emotional expression of an other part of the self, a sibling of the ego, that typically resides in our shadow, the part of us that is also “us” but resides in the dark, outside our conscious light-bearing ego self. A mood is a concretely experienced example of a separate and distinct part of ourselves that impacts our consciousness, as well as our attitude, as we approach our daily lives.
Jung originally coined his psychological approach “complex psychology” when he discovered the existence of other characters in the psyche interfering with the conscious ego’s ability to respond to certain words presented in a word association test. This was expressed through delays in reaction time, as well as through physiological indicators of emotional distress. For Jung this was clear evidence of what he called “feeling toned complexes” or sub-personalities that coexist in the background or unconscious part of the psyche.
A mood can be understood as a form of communication to ego consciousness from an inner complex or sub-personality that expresses a powerful negative reaction or attitude toward something present or emerging in life. Given its debilitating impact upon the will of the ego, the mood may render the ego deflated or depressed. Often this can lead to an immobilized or compromised moody state.
The emotional tension generated within the individual by the mood frequently seeks relief via blaming someone outside the self as the problem. This of course can lead to endless misunderstandings and bickering as the scapegoated other reacts to questionable accusations. Unfortunately, the defensive need to relieve tension within the self often blinds a person to such distorted projections.
Ultimately, the sub-personality or complex behind a mood must be owned and reckoned with directly by the ego through an inner process of reflection and negotiation. The ego must suspend judgement toward the troublesome complex if it hopes to engage it in a reconciliatory process. Although the ego must endure a mood, it must also establish that it remains in control of all actions taken. Nonetheless, it must be willing to let the mood have its own voice too, that is, allow it to express its point of view, the reason for its mood.
The ego must be careful not to decide it automatically knows the reason for the mood, it must consult the mood directly. As we sit quietly with the mood we seek to have it communicate its point of view directly. We can do this through a process of amplification, by acknowledging the feeling state of the mood and asking for more information. Perhaps at this point an image or thought spontaneously comes into mind.
Perhaps we see a familiar person’s face in our mind’s eye. Perhaps we hear them saying something. We can listen and give attention to what they might say. If it’s just an image, no words, we can stay with the image and see what associations about the person come to mind. If we write down our associations we can then feel our way through them to see what associations feel more energized in this moment. In effect, we are building a communication bridge with the mood that gradually fills out its message.
Perhaps it becomes clear that our ego has felt obliged to accommodate a plan with another person because it doesn’t want to disappoint them. The mood becomes recognized as a shadow complex that holds the truth that we don’t want to do something. Its mood is an attempt to subvert action and have the ego assert itself.
The ego is now in a position to acknowledge the truth of the mood and the need to become more assertive with its true feelings. The ego can then validate the shadow complex and pledge to move gradually toward greater self assertion. This might set the stage for a fairly quick lifting of the mood. Sometimes it can be that simple, at other times far more complex.
The key to the resolution process is the acknowledgement by the ego of the autonomy and right to exist of the complex itself. Giving attention to the complex warms it toward the ego, but it must realize that the ego is in charge of all final decisions of action.
Treating a mood as an invitation to a dialogue shifts the focus toward positive collaboration. As difficult as that process may be, it stands to advance us toward inner unity and healing.
Move over Freud! Perhaps communing with moods is an even more efficient royal road to the unconscious, though of course dreams are always welcome!