All posts by Jan

A Day in a Life: Crossing The Bridge

September 26, 2012 Jan Leave a comment

Sleep is a time of rejuvenation, of quieting the mind, but also of spiritual exploration in dreaming. And so, for the past two nights I have set my intent according to the advice of the channeled message on Monday, which you can read here. I ask my body to acquiesce to sleep as a healthy and invigorating necessity, to accept the cyclical nature of it. I ask my mind to shut down but my awareness to keep tabs on the lessons of my dreams. And then I allow my spirit free reign to take me on journeys.

The first night I dreamed of being in old places, in the house I grew up in, but I was there with Chuck. Men were outside the door, telling us we had to leave for 24 hours while new gas lines were installed in the street and into the house. It was demanded that we leave immediately so they could get on with their assignment. There was an infant in the house with us. We were not allowed to take her with us, and so we prepared to leave her to her fate, to be euthanized by the gas that would surely leak into the house and kill her. It was simply taken for granted that we must do as told; without question we simply acquiesced. We did give the baby a sedative though, to soften the blow, and arranged for one of the men to give her another in a little while. As we prepared to leave the house, I saw the gas men standing outside in their white lab coats, with their clipboards and their hoses ready to hook up, and suddenly I knew we couldn’t leave.

“No, this is wrong,” I said. “We have to go back in, we can’t let this happen, it’s wrong. It’s also wrong to leave the baby to this fate.”

And so we turned back into the house, roused the baby, and sat down with her in our laps, both of us realizing that we had almost done the unthinkable; we had almost let our baby be killed because someone told us she could not live. Magically the gas men disappeared at this point, no more outside pressure was applied, no need for us to comply.

As I pondered the dream, I began to understand that everything in the dream was about changing from an old to a new way of listening, thinking, acting, and reacting, and for taking full responsibility for what we know is right. New methods of energy must be invested in if we are not to kill our spirits—individually and collectively—the spirit of our earth, as well as our inner spirits. I understood that what we do with our minds and our bodies, what we allow our governments to do, as well as what we are doing to our planet, is at a crucial point. If we are not alert, everything we care about will be destroyed. On many levels, my dream was telling me that we must think differently now; we must refuse the missives of the petty tyrants, and move forward in completely new directions. Nothing that is old is acceptable anymore. It just isn’t going to cut it.

I refused to be sabotaged by outside energy in this dream, and in refusing it so abruptly it turned away without further incident. We were no longer bothered; the petty tyrants of the world could not budge us. At the end of the dream, Chuck and I were left holding a happy baby, eyes bright and focused, letting us know we had made the right decision. All that matters now, in the dream and in reality, is that we continue to focus on our spiritual selves, making decisions that are right in advancing the vibrant life force in all of us, so full of real potential.

The next night, last night, I set the same intent, to let my body rest while my spirit took me dreaming. I dreamed all night long and when I sensed it was just about time to wake up I asked my awareness to tell me of my dreams, for even while still asleep I sensed no recall. Suddenly I found myself standing on a bridge, a small bridge that crossed a desolate gray landscape, murky and swampy. I knew that my dreams of the night were out there in the swampy landscape. I could see them, including some wooden wagon wheels, sticking up out of the mud. I knew that the details didn’t matter at this point, that everything I had dreamed, the messages of the night, were already inside me. I knew that the only thing that mattered was the bridge I was on.

“This is the only awareness you need,” I said to myself. “You’ve learned what you need to learn, it’s all inside you. It’s time to take it forward now, to cross the bridge, to leave everything else behind and make the crossing.”

Photo by Jan — No view of what is to come…

I had no view of where the bridge was leading me, into darkness as far as I could see, but I had no doubt of the necessity of crossing the bridge. It’s time to cross the bridge. This was the imperative of my awareness, as it instructed me to leave the details behind and go forward.

As I took my first step across the bridge, the horizon lightened, and in the next step it lightened some more. By the time I woke up I had walked to the middle of the bridge and the sun was just beginning to rise. I could see that I was making the right choice. It is time to cross the bridge!

We’re all standing on the same bridge, it’s 2012 after all, and the energy of this time of change is undeniable. It’s our responsibility as beings of awareness, as seekers of what is right, to take what we’ve been learning, in waking and dreaming, and cross the bridge, knowing that everything we need is inside us. Our teachers have taught us well, our inner teachers and our outer teachers. Now they are asking us to become all that we have worked so hard to become, to become the teachers now too and lead the way to a new world. It’s time to stop listening to the gas men, to the pundits and the old guard knocking on the door, telling us that we must do as they say. We must listen instead to our hearts. We must refuse the old ways, the old thoughts, the old ideas that are no longer viable in today’s world, and turn to what is right for now. We must all accept responsibility for moving us forward.

We must accept that we are the student, the teacher, the infant, and the bridge too, but we must also acknowledge that we are the gas men and the old guard as well. But the energy that we channel and our dreams are telling us that we must live through our spirits now, accepting full responsibility for them, allowing them to grow in the real world by taking them out of our dreams and taking them across the bridge that now lies before us.

Crossing the bridge means living out that spirit to the fullest, telling it like it is, refusing the old, waking up—even at the last second, as we seem to be doing at this critical time in the evolution of our world—and accepting the grand opportunity that lies before us: to enact real change. One person at a time, by refusing to live our lives according to someone else’s plan, by taking a path of heart, we can change the world.

We do all stand on the same bridge now. It’s time to take all that we’ve learned is wrong and turn it right, not by looking back or going back, but by moving on to something new and totally different. With compassion for all living beings, we must do what’s right.

I take my dreams seriously, for I know they are my deeper self, my ancient self, speaking words of wisdom and truth. I have been trusting their guidance for a long time now and in my own life I can say that taking the bridge to change has indeed led me on amazing, transformative journeys. In fact, I am living in a totally different world now. By aligning with my spirit’s intent for life and taking the path that appeared before me, I changed my entire world. Now it’s time for all of us to take it to the next level, I see that in my dream.

I must personally take the next step, the same step that we must all take. I am not only me, an individual, but I am also you, and what I do impacts you. This is the lesson of the ancients, the lessons of my dreams, and the lessons I have learned as I have traveled the paths of a seeking life.

Cross the bridge now for self and others. Don’t stop. Each step lightens the way.

Crossing the bridge,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

Readers of Infinity: Body Speak

September 24, 2012 Jan Leave a comment

Change is happening now. Don’t you see it? Don’t you feel it? In your own lives change is happening.

If you decide that you are stuck, then you will miss the exuberant energy of change that has come to visit you. However, if you decide to embrace the energy of change, no matter where it may take you or what it might mean in the long run, you will be greatly surprised and relieved of your constant issues of discord.

Discord, of spirit, comes with being human, for human body and spirit will fight each other, even to the death. Yet, keep in mind that spirit and body both never give up, for they are married to each other until a new level of understanding is reached. Only then will they relinquish their grip upon each other, a grip that is both loving and adversarial. This is an ancient bond that will determine the evolution of each one of you.

Do you fight your spirit?

Find the means of communicating with your spirit throughout the day. Ask it to guide you. And yes, your own spirit will guide you; speaking to you in terms you will understand. The only thing you need to do is listen. Pay attention often enough and finally you will get the clear messages that are being directed through your human self, your body, for this is the language your spirit speaks: Body Speak. Once you understand this, it will become easier to communicate with your spirit, and you will understand your body/spirit discord as your greatest asset.

Keep in mind that spirit self resides in body self, so most often spirit will speak through body self. This means that you must start listening to how your body reacts. Investigate what it tells you. Take your first assumption, which will most likely be a mind/thought/worry/fear reaction—perhaps even full of self-loathing or deeply self-effacing—and go deeper, beyond the mind and into the body alone. Eventually you will get the deeper meaning of the signs your spirit is communicating through your body.

For instance: If you eat too much you might get a tummy ache, bloating, gas, etc. This might make you feel bad about yourself, leading to thoughts of gluttony, inability to control desire, neediness, self-hatred, etc. But what is your body really telling you? It is really telling you that it speaks to you! In very simple language that you can actually feel!

What does your headache tell you? What is your spirit telling you by your inertia? What is your spirit trying to alert you to in your vigorous energy today? What is your spirit trying to tell you, as it speaks through the wall of your human body?

Some Body Speak is easier to understand than others, such as sleepiness, hunger, thirst, but there are deeper signals behind each and every sign you receive.

Take sleepiness for instance. Okay, my body tells me I’m tired. What do I do? Fight it? A good reaction would be to pay attention and get some rest; without resentment, anger or worry, simply acquiesce. Take it to another level as you acquiesce. With care of self in mind, allow rest to be what it should be: rejuvenating. Ask spirit self to let the body rest for so many hours. Ask dreams to guide you as you sleep. Ask awareness to remember dreams upon awakening. Use sleep time on many levels, with the first intent being care of body, and second being spiritual work.

This is what body and spirit desire in human beings: constructive cooperation, enthusiasm, and commitment to growth. This is what life itself desires, life as an evolutionary project, for each one of you is a work of art. Each one of you is the inspiration and the artist, and the project itself. Each one of you has all that it takes to create a beautiful artistic creation: The Self.

Requirements for such creative work are simple: willingness, perseverance, and openness to the possibilities that you are constantly being offered to do the work of the self. All of you have the materials and tools within.

Don’t be so afraid of life. Life is yours; within you it seeks expression. Begin there. Stop looking for it outside of you and look inward. This is where your creative energy awaits, where spirit resides, in your own body. The two, spirit and body, are inexplicably aligned, even when you don’t think they are.

Ask them to teach you, and then wait, with the sure knowing that they will. Be ready to receive your guidance. Learn how it comes. It may take some time to figure it out, but just remember this: everything is meaningful. Do not dismiss anything that comes to you, for you may be missing the guidance you so desperately seek.

Life itself shows you the way to enlightenment, fulfillment, wholeness, connection, and all else that you seek. Be open. Be kind to self and others. Learn impeccability. Learn these things and what they really mean each day that you live your creative inner life.

Work on the self is the most unselfish of acts. Find the means to begin a new project: evolution of the self, ergo evolution of the world. Resolve the discord between body-self and spirit-self, for the self and for the greater good. You can’t go wrong. Listen to your Body Speak.

Channeled most gratefully, and with love.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Where Do We Go From Here?

September 19, 2012 Jan Leave a comment

No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. So goes a Zen expression. If I think about that statement in relation to where we are now in our evolutionary process as human beings, as spiritual beings, as Americans, as Citizens of the World, I immediately go calm. As I ponder my own process of growth and those who are closest to me, I go calm as well. For I sense that we are all in perfect alignment for evolutionary advance, that we always are, and when we are ready we will know what to do, in calmness.

Evolution is defined in Webster’s Ninth as: a process of change in a certain direction: UNFOLDING; the action or an instance of forming and giving something off: EMISSION; a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state: GROWTH; a process of gradual and relatively peaceful social, political, and economic advance.

I define evolutionary advance in my personal life in the same manner: I must allow life to unfold, letting go and giving off that which is unhealthy or unproductive, and get myself into a better state where growth, gradual and peaceful, can take place.

Just as no snowflake ever falls in the wrong place, so are we constantly falling into the places we need to be. Life, the force of the universe inside all of us, by its very nature is in constant flux, and so are we. If we allow ourselves even a few minutes to sit quietly and meditate, we will find that life force calmly waiting inside us to take its next natural step on the journey that awaits us.

The other night I woke at 2 a.m., worry spinning through my head, and being that it was night the worry spun its crazy web, as worry does in the dead of night. It spun and spun until I found myself helplessly caught in its sticky web, thought and intrigue, and more thought and more intrigue tightening around me. Shifting away in disgust, I turned onto my back, opened my eyes, and stared into the darkness of the ceiling above me.

“Please help me stop this worry!” I called out to the universe. “I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to be free of it. Help me to be free!”

The next thing I know I’m dreaming. I wake up in the dream, fully alert, and clearly see that worry does not exist in my dreaming state. I see that worry is nothing more than thoughts conjured by the mind, but now the mind is asleep. I see that it does its thing because it’s programmed that way, but as I look at it from my dreaming state I see that it really has no power at all, it’s simply a machine. And I can turn it off as quickly as I can flip a light switch.

“No worry,” I say, “how nice,” and I fall right back into my dream.

In the morning, I wake up totally refreshed, the worry of the night totally shed, and again I see it for what it is, a spinning machine. But at the same time I accept it in my life, for I know its value in teaching me.

Worry is like the snowflake that never lands in the wrong place. A petty tyrant of the highest magnitude, it comes to teach us. If we attach to it, it will swoop us up like leaves on a brisk autumn day and take us traveling on many adventures. I find, however, that the biggest lesson worry teaches is how to let go, how to become calm and detached. Worry by its very nature asks to be switched off, just as life by its very nature asks to be lived. Worry teaches us how to get ourselves in alignment with where we have landed. By flipping its switch to the OFF position, we are free to sit in calmness, to find our bearings, and know what’s right for us to do next.

I know that switching off worry is not that easy to do, but trust me; it just takes a little practice. The first step is to see it for what it is, to redefine it as I did in my dream. If we can separate ourselves from the thoughts in our head and give them a name, such as spinning machine or petty tyrant, we begin a process of change and we learn the real lesson of worry: detachment. Redefining things in this way offers not only a fresh perspective, but empowers us to begin taking action on our own behalf.

Was my worry of the night justified? Would it solve any problems, for me or others? Would it help in any way? Absolutely not. It had no impact on anything in reality. The only impact it had was on my energy and my sleep. It was a machine that I decided I did not want in my life anymore, and so I found a way to turn it off, kick it out of my bed, and get some sleep and dream insights instead—much preferable to the sticky web of incessant worry!

In these times of political, social, and personal energetic turmoil, I find that this simple Zen quote—No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place—is as calmly shifting and direct as my shift away from worry and into dreaming. In repeating it to myself throughout the day, I find myself calmly accepting of where I am, of where the world is, of where those closest to me are.

I believe we are all exactly where we need to be at this moment in time, in our lives, and in the evolution of our world. If we can accept this, then we can begin making choices in alignment with growth. Perhaps we see that where we are is necessary, that our next move in life is evolutionary, that we are in fact being shown what it means to be in alignment with our spirit, that where we have landed is leading us toward a gradual, peaceful unfolding of a life truly worth living.

I have landed where I have landed. Each day I wake up and remind myself of this, that I am where I should be, where I need to be, learning what I need to learn for my personal evolution. And then I dare myself to calmly take the next step, in alignment with where my heart tells me to go. I let my worry about this or that go; I let my fears about this or that go too. And I remember my dreaming self clearly perceiving worry as outside of myself, not mine, but conjured by the energy outside of me seeking attachment, wanting to feed off my energy, like the good petty tyrant that it is.

I don’t want to feed the petty tyrants anymore.

Love,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

Readers of Infinity: Smile

September 17, 2012 Jan Leave a comment

Do not get caught in waiting for things to happen, but take action every day on behalf of the self, on behalf of the self as both a human being and as a spiritual being. Evolutionary advancement involves becoming fully aware of your greater potential, and such awareness will only come to fruition as you work on the self.

Work on the self involves not only deep inner work, but it also involves being fully present as a human being in the life you live. No matter what your circumstances may be, there is always great potential for change and growth, for a more fulfilling life, and for a person to be happy, healthy, and contented. Life upon that earth does indeed present challenges, there is no denying that, but nothing is too great to handle. Challenges must be recognized and accepted as evolutionary opportunities and dealt with every day in order for both human enjoyment on earth and spiritual enlightenment to take place.

It is advisable to determine your core issue and challenge, and then, in unwavering commitment to the self as an evolutionary being, deal with what comes to guide you and lead you to resolution of that core issue and the challenges that arise as a result.

If you refuse to confront the meaning of your life in this manner—by facing your personal inner issues—you will not advance into greater fulfillment. It rarely happens that the world alone provides enough, for even the most successful people in the world are not truly happy if the inner self has not been attended to. Yes, your life may be quite livable and comfortable, but does it really tend to your spirit? It is time for all upon that earth to tend to the spirit now. For all the spin in the outer world, the needs of the inner self will not be addressed there.

The inner self must be recognized for what it truly is, a force of power, unique in itself, and ready to evolve, to be more fully present in life. Yet it has been relegated to a quiet corner for the most part, left alone to wither, to contend with its own negligence, and yet it stirs often enough, sending messages that it too has much to offer.

For those who are in the midst of deep inner work, for those who not only acknowledge their spiritual self, but also engage and invite it into the world, be advised to stay the course of such work for it has far reaching effects, within the self and without. Your struggles will result in change, and once change begins to happen take note, and revel in its expression in your life as it aids you in your process. Take note also of its unfolding in the world around you, as the energy of personal change confronts the outer world and makes inroads that will not cave or be erased.

For those as yet asleep, fearful of what it means to do inner work, fearful of change, unsure of what it means to answer the call of the spirit’s knockings, look to your daily life for messages, to your dreams for guidance, and to the people in your life for direction. And then look into the self; listen to the ego self, the fearful self, and the inner voice that speaks the wisdom of your heart. Pay attention to how these selves operate and ask them to align now, to live life in synch more often, to walk hand in hand, giving and taking with kindness, gentleness, and compassion for the self, and others as well. Begin to notice that all beings seek what you seek.

Address what you need innerly, resolve it, and allow your true self expression. Smile and you will be smiled upon in return. Try this simply act and see what happens! Then let your spirit guide you from there.

Expansiveness of spirit, to self and others, will open many new doors, within and without. Be real. Be kind. Smile!

Channeled with love and smiles!

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Everything Is Meaningful

September 12, 2012 Jan Leave a comment

During my recapitulation I learned that everything in my life, waking and dreaming, was supporting my recapitulation journey. I also learned that everything in my life had always been supporting my journey, though it was not until this very intense time of inner work that I was granted this knowledge in a very keen and extremely significant way, on a daily basis.

As I began to piece together how everything not only supported the inner work I was doing, but how it all seamlessly wove together pictures of my past with current situations, I saw how all of it was mirrored and supported in my nightly dreams as well. In a shamanic sense, I was training my awareness, as I went through several years in a perpetual state of heightened awareness as everything, in every moment of my life, greeted me with messages, insights, puzzles to be solved, and issues to be resolved. Since the completion of that recapitulation, I have continued to be taught by life itself, by what appears in daytime and nighttime, in awake experiences and dreaming experiences, by what my own body presents me with on a daily basis.

I know now, without a doubt, that I am guided through this life, that I have always been and always will be, that we all are. Only through offering myself the gift of innocent vision during my recapitulation, constantly asking the busy rational mind to sit by the wayside, as I turned to allowing the creativity and imagination of my adult and child self in cohesion to guide me, was I able to shift how I perceived the world and achieve this understanding. It takes some amount of daring to reject everything we’ve learned and turn inward, to turn to our child self—the defended, rejected, abandoned, frightened child self in my case—and allow the evolving adult self to show the child that, although it is all those things, it is also much, much more.

Perhaps the idea of expending the rational, the voice of reason, the voice that upholds the known and proven world, keeping us safe and comfortable, and turning toward the totally irrational, and listening to a new voice, is a crazy notion, but once the process is begun there is no going back. Once the magic begins, there is no going back to an old way of thinking, perceiving, or living. At this point, life becomes a most fascinating journey, as we accept what comes to us as meaningful, as we accept that each day and each moment in each day holds important information for us.

Once we are in it, there is no going back to the boredom of waiting for life to change or something exciting to happen to us, because we are fully aware that excitement is inherent in each moment. We are living it, painful or otherwise, and at least we can say that we will never again complain about life being boring. We just have to keep remembering the magic, remain open to it, and learn to constantly reinterpret our life and our experiences from new perspectives.

I don’t take much for granted; there is always something else behind the screen of normalcy, of convention, of the usual spin, something that is different, even magical or enchanting, and ultimately the real truth. We just have to learn how to constantly shift our thoughts away from the conventional and into the world of possibility. I trust possibility more than I trust convention, so you won’t find me believing much of anything I hear or see. I prefer to find my own answers and truths. All of this is leading me to relate an experience I had the other night, one in which I allowed my dreaming self to show me something.

It was a cool night; the sliding door in our bedroom was wide open to the brisk night air when the loud shriek of an owl startled us awake.

“An owl!” I said. “It sounds close. It must be perched on the deck outside our door.” We could hear its claws scratching against wood. It shrieked again and again.

“Why is it doing that?” Chuck wondered. “It’s hunting, shouldn’t it be quiet?”

“I don’t know, perhaps it’s calling to others, a mate or young,” I whispered. We listened to it until it grew quiet. As I drifted off to sleep I wondered why it had come.

“What does it mean?” I asked my dreaming self. Sometime later, Chuck made a sound in his sleep, waking me. I didn’t want to wake up, I’d been dreaming and I wanted to finish my dream, but the truth was that I was awake. I wondered if I could go back into my dream anyway.

I kept my eyes closed and looked into the darkness behind my lids, into the amorphous, fluid and multicolored darkness. I noticed that my left eye shut down completely and only my right was seeing. Peering sharply into the darkness behind my lid, it honed right into my dream, parting the curtains that had descended when I was startled awake a moment before.

Like a microscope, my right eye honed in on where I had left off and magically finished the dream. Fully awake I dreamed to completion. Satisfied, I opened my eyes and told Chuck what had just happened. It was then that I remembered the owl in the night and I understood the message it was bringing. It was asking me to hone the skills that I work at every day, to use the special ability of the owl to hone in on its prey with microscopic vision, even in the dark, abilities I now know I have inside me, that we all have inside of us.

“Yes,” Chuck said, “the shamans say we all have everything we need inside the human body to do everything the shamans do.”

“It’s true,” I say. “You taught me that when I was recapitulating too, as a means of keeping me focused on the inner journey, offering me some badly needed self-confidence, but really allowing me to accept my experiences as important, to not dismiss anything, but to learn how to perceive everything as meaningful.”

And that’s what I still focus on, allowing everything to be important and meaningful. All experiences are magical if we allow ourselves to experience them that way, not with ego, not by trying to be shamans, but by awakening and utilizing everything that is present in our human state, inside our bodies. The rational mind might not take offense at being pushed aside while we take a ride through our dreams at night, but it sure puts up a struggle during the day. We just have to work at assuring it that it will be okay, that it will be safe, as we let something else guide us to see a new reality, a dream reality during the day too. Our nightly dream training is showing us what we are all really capable of all the time.

Healing ourselves through deep inner work is the first part of learning just what we are capable of doing and experiencing. As we recapitulate, we are asked again and again to suspend judgment and take a look at what really happened, to not blame or attach to anything, but to let ourselves re-experience everything from a new perspective and in so doing experience just what it means when the shamans say that everything we need is inside the human body. Trusting that is the first major obstacle to leaving the rational world and the first major leap into the magical as well. Try it, in waking and/or in dreaming today; see what comes to guide you, out of your own body self, showing you the magic in your own life. Believe me there’s plenty there!

It takes trusting our inner spirit, the innocence comprised of the purity of knowing and perceiving that is ready to embrace our experiences and help us advance in this lifetime. It’s not so hard to defy convention and look at life as magical; it’s quite inspiring, fascinating to imagine that every day we are indeed being guided to learn some of the magic that resides inside all of us. I also now know that the owl’s message is to use that ability to hone my sight during the daytime too, with my eyes open. If I can hone so microscopically with my eyes closed, I should be able to do it with them open as well. That’s my next challenge.

Thanking the owls that come in the night,
Jan

Riverwalker Press