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Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Take Action

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Take action knowing that it is your move.
No one else is present in your life to take action or move for you.
Everything depends on you.
Do not look to others to resolve your dilemmas.
Your life is totally up to you and your actions.
Take action.

This is the tenth step in learning a shamanic practice, a practice that is pragmatic and helpful in learning to evolve, to keep going, to grow and to change, but also to learn to live in more than just this fixed and rational reality. I wrote the above in the middle of the night of November 2, 2009, after intending again to connect and dream with the women of don Juan’s generation of seers.

A shamanic practice revolves around becoming totally responsible for the self, for the past self and the future self, as well as for the self who strives for each moment to be one of awareness. As I have been relaying these shamanic steps in my blog over the past few weeks, I have been struck each week by the relationship each step has to recapitulation, perhaps the most important step, according to the seers, in really electing to change and grow.

In doing recapitulation, in seeking to fully know the self, these steps that I learned from the women seers become more than just pointers, they become a way of life. Until one is in the process of learning about the deeper self these steps may simply come across as good ideas or thoughts that make sense in everyday life, but they blossom into true steps of growth when one begins the process of recapitulation with intent, with unbending intent. It is through experiencing each of these steps, through taking a personal journey into the darkness of the self, that these ideas ultimately make total, practical sense.

A recapitulation can take place through many means. One of them is to simply allow the self to go back into memories, to feel, see and experience them as if reliving them once again and then to go back again and again, going deeper and deeper each time. In looking from a different perspective each time, a personal experience may be revealed as it had actually happened rather than as it had been consciously remembered. When memories are revisited in a state of heightened awareness, new clarity and insight may be gained where before there may have been only vagueness or just a shadowy sense that something was not quite right, or there may have been no memory at all because it was effectively blocked by the psyche.

In memories, painful experiences may be replaced with less offensive stories. Safe or pleasant memories may be construed in order to alleviate the full force of the true and often brutal memories. In essence, selective memories can make us feel safe and okay, though they are not the whole truth. The truth often lies deeply hidden. In my own case, I was nagged by incessant feelings that something was wrong with me, but I was not able to fully access what that meant until I was ready and able to handle it.

Recapitulation, as Chuck mentioned in a recent blog, is a volitional action that happens when we are ready. Somewhere along our journeys, our psyche and our body determine that the time is now and prepares us for the moment. When we are thrown or drawn into recapitulation, some deeper part of us is ready, and it is asking us to shift.

In recapitulation, I did learn that I was totally responsible for everything about myself and that if I did not make a move to help myself then nothing would happen to change me or my life. And as I worked through what that meant, in light of where I was at the time and what I had to remember about my past, it empowered me, diminishing my reliance on others and my reliance on staying stuck in certain familiar modes, repeating the same habits and staying in a world that never changed. Although I considered that world to be rather safe, it was not until I was well into my recapitulation that I discovered that it was, in fact, a world of fear that I kept such control of by retreating, withdrawing and hiding, by making safe choices, so that I did not have to confront anything that made me afraid or uncomfortable. In spite of having lived a very full life in many ways, achieving a measure of success, I still had not resolved the inner dilemmas, of what was wrong with me, of why I felt so powerless and unsafe. What was I really afraid of?

So, I would have to say that I did not feel truly safe in this world until I had done a recapitulation of a world that lay hidden deeply inside me. It was purposely hidden so that I could grow up, maintain sanity, and mature into adulthood. I was protected from it long enough to prepare to return, when the time was right, and look with the eyes of an adult at what had happened to me in my past. In returning, I was afforded the opportunity to learn what it really means to take responsibility for the self, for the cards dealt, for the circumstances of life, and to regain the power that I had lost along the way. It took breaking many vows of silence, many pacts, and it also took facing the darkness within, the stuff that had followed me around for a long, long time, just waiting for me to return and remember what it was all about.

So, in the final lesson to “take action,” the women seers are also suggesting that it is our choice to evolve, to change, and to recapitulate too. We are all afforded many opportunities to practice such steps. We read our books and chant our mantras. We do our yoga and meditate ourselves into calmness, but until we really take action on our own behalf, and face our fears, we are just waiting for something or someone outside of us to change, when it is what is inside us that is asking for change. At least, that has been my experience.

Until next week,
Love,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#686: The Way of the Truthful Warrior: I wish to live! I wish to grow! I wish to be a fully functioning, aware, changing being!

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Today is Monday, the day I ask you for guidance for all your readers, those who have found you via the Internet or through other connections, and those who once knew you in this world. What would you like to talk about today?

I am inclined to discuss the world situation. Though I know many of you seek personal guidance, do not turn from what I say, for it will be personally relevant, that I guarantee!

In this time upon that earth great forces are at work. You may already be aware of many such forces, for you know and see much that is happening around you, but be assured that there are other unseen forces that partake in “the world of change” that is now where you reside.

It is not by happenstance or coincidence that you are there upon that earth at this time. That is what you must always strive to discover about the self. Why am I here? What is my purpose? Each one of you has a meaningful existence. At times, you may feel full of despair, full of sorrow or sadness, full of depression and even self-pity, but I ask that you always stay connected to the fact that you belong there for a reason. So, that being said, what is your reason for being there?

I turn again to the conditions that exist in that world, your world. I ask that each one of you take full responsibility for the current climactic, economic, and global political situations. I ask that you each decide that you, being an important member of the world community, resolve to also have an active part in changing that world. Those of you who are of like mind, like inner mind, use your energy now for greater change. You can change the world.

This is not an inflated statement meant to perk you up in an idealized fashion. This is the truth of what I speak of today. As far gone as you may think your world is, as I have said, there are other forces at work to correct it. These forces of good are the ones you must now energetically seek. Once you understand what they are and how they operate, you will find yourself more fully in tune with them. Once you distinguish what it means to be truthful, to be utterly aware of truth as it is spoken and utilized, you will find that your own connections to it will be more open.

The way of the truthful warrior must now become your own. This will lead you to greater self-discovery and greater attunement with the forces of good energy that abound, seeking to reconnect such energy upon that earth. With a simple shift and twist of awareness, of how you elect to view the world — your outer environment and your inner environment — you may begin to prepare yourself for this new path of connection. In asking the self to partake in life more fully, as an aware being of spirit and connection to energy, you will allow yourself to be ready for understanding and finding out what it means to be connected on an energetic level. The more you allow for such connection, the greater the flow of such energy toward you.

I ask that you do not despair at the conditions of the world you live in, My Dears, but that you commit to energetic responsibility and responsiveness to them, and to all that arises as a result of your personal life.

There are many forces that seek to hold the veils over your eyes, to keep your status closed and unaware, to keep you complacent and dark. Those forces are always present. You will not make them disappear, but you can push them aside. You can find the voice of self, within the self, and allow it to say: Enough of this darkness and confusion! I wish to live! I wish to grow! I wish to be a fully functioning, aware, changing being!

Those are words of enlightenment and hope to your inner spirit self. They may be the first words that allow you to shift, so that your personal view of the world broaden and opens up to the horizon where all possibility lies. Do you dare to part the veils that keep you from really seeing what you must? Do you dare to give the self its true purpose, allowing it to come forth? Do you dare to keep going forward, breaking through the barriers, no matter what? That is how you will change the self, and the world.

The world will not disappear, but it will change. Do you want it to change with you in greater despair? Or do you want it to change with you in greater truth, enlightening awareness, and in energetic discoveries that are now but like small buds upon the trees, waiting to be forced open by the energy of the light? Are you ready for that energy, too? It really is your decision.

In conclusion, I suggest that you keep in mind that life and energy are always present. Sometimes they just need a little boost. A little light shining through the darkness may be enough to get them shifting and moving out of the place that holds them still. Is this all that you need? Think about it, but better yet, shift a little.

Do something differently today. And then see what happens!

Messages from Jeanne

#678 Seeds of Awareness

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Do you have a message of guidance for us today?

My Dear Ones, do not forget that you are the changing ones. You are the ones who have the ability to sway from the path, to choose a different route, to make new decisions outside of the natural flow of life. As nature goes so does man go is not truly meant to be how it goes. Yes, nature is what man must pay attention to in order to learn what it means to be an evolving being, but nature, in its repetitiveness, is but one teacher. The other teacher lies deeply buried inside each one of you, and that teacher is the desire of the self for new life, for new adventures, for something unknown.

Though you may often fear change, it is also the emergence of desire that creates fear. For fear would not arise is you were not being challenged to go beyond the comfortable self, the self who flows with the world as you interpret it. Today, I suggest that another energy lies deeply buried inside each of you that is different from the energy of nature as you see it and know it outside of you. As living energy you hold within something else that is not replicated in the world you see before your eyes. In the world that you see there is a limitation of process, though that world offers you the lessons in repetition that are necessary for understanding evolution, reincarnation, and growth.

You see, what I speak of today is that other aspect of man that allows for growth beyond what is presented. Each one of you has within the seeds of awareness and this is what I speak of as the catalyst for change. Your seeds of awareness lie buried until you dig them out of their bed of darkness by your intent; until you expose them to the light and urge them, with tenderness and prodding, to awaken and reach toward the light.

During your lifetime you are offered many tools that will provide the means of excavation and awakening. If you return to the world around you, living the repetitive life, turning outward for your examples of how to awaken, seeing only what is before your eyes, you will miss the true seeds of awareness within. Even nature has these properties of deep inner awareness, though you see only that which reappears in the cycle of life on the outside. Your human eyes take in only what lies before you, but your eyes of awareness see far more.

Your seeds of awareness must now become your new eyes of seeing. In order to evolve, a new process of growth must become your means of living. I ask that you break through your darkness, past the fear that arises to keep you conformed, and allow what lies beneath your fear to emerge and access the light of new energy. Your seeds of awareness may be very well known to you or they may be completely unknown. Perhaps you have glimpsed them, the urgings at your core, at your heart, and your deepest desires. Perhaps you have never noticed them as such, but something inside you tells you they exist. You are all creatures of nature, of the natural world, the natural process of birth and death, as you see it played out before you in nature and in the human physical living and dying cycles. But there is so much more that is being missed.

I know that even the word fear presents more fear. Everyone is afraid. But fear is the catalyst to change. If you can face your fears as they arise, question them, break through them to what is lying beneath them, the negative fears will turn to positive energy and your seeds of awareness will begin to sprout. Fear is the recapitulation companion waiting to take you on your inner journey. If you can begin to see fear as your greatest ally, your new journey beyond repetition, to access the self as energy, will begin.

You see, your seeds of awareness are the energy body, the self as comprised of energy alone, without physical composition and form, completely free. But fear must be burst apart for true energy to be accessed and released. Fear blocks access, as the dark earth blocks the seed from the light. How then does the seed emerge each spring from the dark earth? Sheer energy! And that is what you also have inside you, the sheer energy of life to continually re-emerge, to re-challenge itself to face the darkness, to burst through the fear and reach toward the light. That is the metaphor that nature offers each one of you.

Access your seeds of awareness by going into the inner darkness and bring forth into your lives your most precious selves, your energy selves. Allow your true energy to explore the world around you and you might begin to experience it differently. Life is meant to be challenging in order for you to wake up one day and determine that, yes, there must be more to life than that which I see before my eyes. And what is that for you? What are you missing?

The seeds of awareness are golden seeds. Keep that in mind as you seek them. They hold the light you will need as you make the journey into your darkness. They are awareness itself. They are energy and truth. They are you.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Dream Teaching

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I woke up this morning and said: “I was being taught all night long.”

“What do you mean, you were being taught?” Chuck asked.

“I was being taught something all night long in dreaming, the same thing repeatedly, but now I can’t remember what it was!” I whined. “Maybe I can call it up later, I’m pretty good at that,” I said, as I fought to hold onto what had vanished as soon as I opened my eyes. Synchronistically, this is exactly what happened last October when I was dreaming with the women shamans, asking them to teach me how to become a shaman and it is what I had been planning to write about today. So, wouldn’t you know, I had another experience to underscore the process of learning to become a shaman. Here is the experience I had last fall, as I wrote about it in my journal on October 23, 2009:

Dreaming was not as successful last night, though I asked for the next step in shamanic practice. Once again I put the dreaming pillow on my lower abdomen before I fell asleep. Whatever I got had something to do with the self, both the body self and the ego self, but it was not clear. Ironically, I fought with my body throughout the night, too lazy to sit up, reach for my notebook and write down what I was getting, clear or not.

“Write it down!” I commanded my sleeping self, but then I would argue: “It’s not clear!”

“Write it anyway!” I retaliated, but still I was too lazy to do so. I figured I would remember it, which I have failed to do, except knowing that it had something to do with the self. Perhaps it was about aligning the body self with the intent to do the work. The lazy body obviously got in my way last night. I will have to give it another go tonight and hopefully I will not have the same issue to contend with, my lazy self. Pretty interesting, I must say!

Later in the day I wrote the following:

Okay, so I get that I was confronted with my lazy self and that is my current challenge. This lazy self must be confronted in order to keep moving forward. This is the avoidant self, the reluctant self, the fearful self, but she is not as strong as she used to be. Now she is more like a slug in the way, not much energy, but still present and capable of sabotaging my progress. This sluggish self was, at one time, the depressed, traumatized self, immobilized by fear and unavailable to truly live until the trauma had been realized. In the old days, before I recapitulated, I remained caught in two worlds, never quite present in either, but now that I am awake I must remain awake and alert. The old sluggish self still tests me as she did last night while dreaming. I argued with her. Contending with this self is the third step in the practice of shamanic work, the whole physical self: the conscious mental self, the body self, the conjuring mind self, the ego self, but I see it as all related to the ingrained comforts of the physical body, the lazy self. (End of journal entry.)

My experience last night was very similar to that of last October. I still have my notebook open beside me as I sleep, a pen stuck into the page and all I have to do is lean over, pick up the pen and begin writing. I argued with myself again last night, thinking in dreaming that of course I would remember, I always remember, I’m good at that. All aspects of the physical self were present again last night, teaching me a valuable lesson; the conjuring mind, the ego self, the lazy physical self all in cahoots to show me that something else is necessary in order to truly do shamanic work, and that is: to get beyond the limitations of the physical self, which will always seek to remain dominant.

The other thing that strikes me today is that the two previous lessons that I learned in dreaming were also in play last night and in my dream of last October too. I was being shown again the workings of the two minds, the conjuring mind and the inner knowing mind that argue incessantly. I knew I should write down what I was getting on both occasions, but I could not get beyond the ego, which upheld its superiority. “Don’t worry Jan,” my ego self said, “you’ll remember!” The second lesson, the value of repetition, was also in action. In both instances I dreamed the same thing, over and over again, but since I also argued with my physical self, I failed miserably to recall what the lessons were. Once again, as I had done last October, I woke up this morning holding onto the fact that I was missing, because of my laziness, a very valuable lesson, but now I see the real lesson as being the repetitive, night-long fight between the two minds. The knowing mind was seeking to wake me up, asking me to shift out of the old lazy self and allow the new disciplined self to take over and push the ego, the conjuring mind, and the lazy physical self out of the way.

Alas! Now I understand the true value of repetition: to force a shift. But shift will only happen when we are ready; when we finally get just what it is that we are being taught or asked to do, when we have repeated the same lessons to the point of mundanity and boredom, until we say, hey, there must be more to life than just this same old stuff! And in the shamanic world the action of shifting is not an action of the conjuring mind, except in learning to know it, in understanding how it works to hold us in our old places, in our lazy body selves, in our comforts, in our egos, in our old places of trauma, until we have learned what they have been trying to wake us up to, in dreaming or in waking life. Pushing ourselves beyond the limitations of the physical, mind or otherwise, is the next step in learning to become a shaman.

Know your enemy. Know your mind, know your ego, know your limitations and then push beyond them. Wake up and remember! These are the real lessons in awareness that I have been taught by the women shamans. Whether you are interested in the shamanic world or not, awareness is the true key to evolving, in this world and in the next. Once again, this is all related to the practice of recapitulation too. The steps I have learned from the women shamans of don Juan’s line are steps in undertaking the process of fully understanding the self, because, in actuality, you have to understand and know the self in order to understand the shaman’s world and be able to maneuver in it. It is the same thing that we will be confronted with when we die. We must be prepared to maneuver in a world where we will no longer have a physical self to rely on, to blame, or to trust. No comforts of the physical will be available. Only our energy bodies will be available, and how will we fare if we do not know them?

Next week, I will bring you the fourth step in the process of shamanic work that I learned in dreaming with the dreamers. Until then, watch out for the conjuring mind! Pay attention to what the body is repeatedly attempting to say instead, as Jeanne suggests in her lessons in inner work; go deeper into the body self. Pay attention to the earthquakes within, as she mentioned in her message on Monday. The body holds more in its silent sinews than you know. And then go beyond to the energy that lives inside that lazy physical house of self and invite it to emerge from its sleepy state and enjoy a little of the energy of the spring with you!
With love and humble attempts to remain aware,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#676 Earthquakes Within

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
As I communicate with you today I am reminded that we have done this channeling more than six hundred times for our readers. Our personal communications extend far beyond even those messages, into the thousands since we began this process almost nine years ago. When I fathom that, I am absolutely amazed. I know there are many skeptics in the world, people who have no connection to spirit, within or without, or even to themselves as energy. I have never not had that kind of connection, but it has, until ten years ago, been very private, underdeveloped, often pushed aside and doubted, often felt as troubling, frightening or too vague to understand clearly. Now, through my work with you and Chuck, and on myself, I have elected to pay attention, to accept the challenges that arise, to better understand the meaningfulness of everything that has occurred and continues to occur in my life as part of my personal evolutionary process. As a result I have been able to slowly change, to accept that I am a different person and to push to become that new person in the world. This is what I wish for everyone, but I know that is naive, that it is very difficult for people to embrace the hidden sides of themselves, good and bad, so that they can change. It is a long and arduous process, but it does allow for true change to happen. We see now, and Chuck points this out in his blog essay too, that even the Catholic Church, that stalwart and self-righteous structure, is being asked to do a public recapitulation, to confront the past, to be truthful, honest, and forthright before the world, to confront its darkness and evolve spiritually. This is what we are all challenged to do in our lives. I know what it means because I did it. I did a recapitulation, and it isn’t easy. Even having done the major part of it I continue to do it every day, as I find myself in many worlds, seeking balance, struggling to maintain my inner identity and to evolve to my fullest potential while continually going beyond my inhibitions and fears.

What can you offer us today to aid us all in our attempts to not only stay connected to spirit, but to more fully embrace the true aspects of who we are as human beings, fallible and hidden though we may be, while at the same time we know, by our own experiences, that confronting the truth really does set us free? How do we more fully embrace our human condition, loving ourselves for our journeys, while at the same time lovingly pushing our fearful selves to keep evolving? What guidance do you offer us today?

You ask, My Dear, for guidance in the process of achieving wholeness. As you know, I always contend that life itself will lead you there, but an inner awakening must occur and be reckoned with in order for the two selves to meet and assign themselves to a mutual journey. Without recognition and partnership, the journey ahead will be fragmented and unclear, as you state in your query was your own experience for many years.

Many people upon that earth elect to deny the true workings of the inner spirit, the holiness within, because it frightens them. In its awakening process the inner spirit shakes awake not only its own long buried persona, but in its rumblings it shatters that which has stood solidly present and in control for so many years. An inner awakening rattles the outer world in much the same way that an earthquake rattles awake the world far above its center of heat. Angry splitting apart may be the result of an earthquake on the outside, but on the inside it is merely a shifting of conditions no longer tenable in their current state. When tensions arise there is no recourse except to alleviate them in some fashion.

I suggest to Our Dear Readers that inner tension always be paid attention to. It is not meant to drive you crazy or force you into misery, sickness, depression, anxiety, or fear, but simply to ask you to notice that something deep inside you is asking for the shift that it needs in order for the process of life to evolve. The world around you constantly changes and evolves and you, My Dear Human Souls, are also being presented with the same process. You are being asked to recognize the earthquakes and storms within for the spiritual awakenings that they are.

As you know, I stress the shamanic term recapitulation as the process that must be undertaken in order to properly deal with the inner heat. This is a spiritual process whereby the inner self is allowed to speak, to reveal itself, to be offered a platform for expulsion, revelation, and renewal, so that each of you may reconnect to the true growth energy within, that of nature, of God within, and to the possibility for understanding the self as energy, interconnected to all other energy.

Once you feel the awakening of the energy of inner self it is hard to reject it. Once the hard crust of neglect has cracked and the secrets of self have begun to seep outward it is hard to repair the festering wounds it reveals. The tearing awake of the inner self, bursting through the long-toughening process of life, is no less an act of nature than the earthquakes that rock your globe. Your earth’s inner awakening reflects the great need for the inner spirit to emerge from its darkness and become present in that world where it has so often been pushed aside.

I do not speak of religions, of church doctrines, or of preaching dictates. I speak only of the true energy of inner spirit, which resides in every human being upon that earth. You each have within all that it takes to evolve. You must allow your awakenings, your inner rumblings, to teach you what you need to know about the self. You must allow your secrets to be revealed to the self. You must accept yourself as fallible and as good, as lost and as found, as hungry for life in a new manner. Only in accepting the wholeness of self, encompassing all that you love and want and all that you hate and fear, will you achieve that new life you so hunger for, My Dears. And you must learn what it means to be truthful, honest, and utterly naked and revealed, facing the self without conflicts of interest, without conventional voices dictating judgments and proposals that overshadow the truths of who you truly are.

Remind yourselves often of your energetic content, of your ability to flow with life, of your desire for connection. Practice your evolving biddings by listening to what is going on inside you more intently. Listen to your inner self and ask what to do next. And then wait for the answer. It will come.

Thank you, Jeanne! I understand that you are also proposing that we are like the energy of nature itself, that we are no different. Would you contend that the preponderances of natural disasters are warning us of our true inner desires to change and evolve? There have been earthquakes, a volcano in Iceland, global warming, cyclones, typhoons, flooding and any number of natural disasters lately affecting the world. I have felt them to be signs that Mother Earth, that nature itself will not allow us to be in control for much longer, that we are being forced to change, but I don’t feel that enough people are listening. Can you comment?

Nature itself will reveal its intentions. It has far greater power to shake the world and shatter the empty dreams and cogitations of greed than any human alive. There is none so powerful as Mother Nature. But you must all pay attention to that same energy within. Mother Nature resides within. God resides within. All power resides within, good and bad. Evolutionary potential, built up over centuries, lies within. Some of you upon that earth have been evolving for many years, many lifetimes, while others are new at it. It is up to the old souls to lead the way, by example, returning to earth energy. The earth itself is showing you that this is the proper road to take, for it leads to the inevitable change that is to come.

Do not be afraid of change, but prepare for personal change first by embracing that which comes from within to teach you what it means to embrace change without. Learn to embrace the journey of self, of the inner self yearning for partnership and mergence in life. Return to nature by returning to self. The true connection to self and nature lies within and that is where your energy lies: within. The energy of earth lies within, and it has the capacity to shift and change the outer world when the time is right.

Do for yourselves what you know you must. Prepare to evolve. In adopting a new relationship with the self as an evolving energy being you will be ready for what comes in your life to greet you. Your practices of inner awakenings will have prepared you well.

NOTE: As I was typing up this message I heard a knock at the door and an elderly gentleman, a Jehovah’s Witness, was standing on the porch looking at our concrete Buddha who sits gazing out over our front walk. He asked me what I thought about all the change in the world, and I replied that I thought the world itself was showing us that we have to change too. He handed me a copy of Awake! This month’s pamphlet is subtitled: Nature had it first. I am struck by the synchronicity of this visit while I was working on this awakening message today.
-Jan