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Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Uphold Civility

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How about a little more love and compassion?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Our world has many separate parts that interact to maintain our wholeness. The reigning principle that holds us together is homeostasis, a tendency toward balance and stability. When one part of our world becomes extreme other parts of our world become extreme in the opposite direction in a compensatory effort to restore balance.

Currently, our world has devolved into such an extremist state of tenuous balance, with volatile groups expressing deep opposition to one another. The ability to appreciate the needs and perspectives of others in an effort to restore peaceful equilibrium is lost to our current circumstance.

Suspend judgment. In such time of extremism, all cling to the one-sidedness of their individual or group positions. The truth appears radically self-evident; the “other’s” view is clearly distorted and wrong. Emotion intensifies to convince, defend, and attack. Reason is stretched beyond reason. In fact, reason is one side of a pair of opposites, deeply suspect to many.

Realize that all the opposition outside ourselves courses equally through our inner selves. Here we can contribute to our own inner balance, as well as the greater world’s, by inwardly facing the one-sidedness of our own ego positions. Even the most contentious positions encapsulate some grain of truth. Our ego is charged to use its analytic and feeling capacities to find the value and necessary place for all parts of the self and the world.

Outwardly, we do well to not fall prey to blame and hate, as these reactions simply further and intensify the divide. Though we must stand firm to who we truly are, upholding our beliefs and values, we are equally free to feel compassion for all. Compassion is directed love energy, where all are acknowledged as legitimate parts of the whole.

Compassion can be expressed through civility. Regardless of the intensity of our beliefs or feelings we can treat each other with respect. This is an enormous task in these times of extremism where many say and do things that evoke strong visceral reactions within the self. Nonetheless, we can all take up the challenge to resist getting taken over and acting out our rageful impulses, verbally or otherwise. This act of containment keeps ego control above water, not causing further damage. Being civil may not result in a kind response, but it will at least not further inflame.

Next, the responsibility is to care for the self and the intense emotion suppressed within. Allow the self release in total private. A brisk walk, deep breathing and, yes, even throwing stones may be warranted. Once the emotional charge has diminished, reflect deeply on the source of inner activation. Something important is being revealed to the self in the emotional reaction. Know thyself, love thyself.

Love the part of the self that feels victimized, betrayed, or disempowered. Although you may choose to have no relationship or engagement with the triggering “other,” find compassion for them within the self, perhaps simply seeing them as a fellow human being struggling with human life. At that level we are all one.

Upholding civility is the bridge we have now, in these times of raging rivers that threaten to flood our civilization. Join in supporting this bridge, through action with civility.

Civilly and affectionately yours,

Chuck

Soulbytes

Soulbyte for Friday June 29, 2018

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Own your power, not to harm, shame, or blame but to move yourself forward on your journey, knowing that your fate is in your own hands. Your choices matter, so make choices that are progressive and positive. Make decisions that will move you in a new direction. Use your heart centered knowing and wisdom to keep you focused on your intent, ready to receive, for there is much to come and experience as you journey forward with your intent firmly stated and your heart open. Use your power wisely and use it for good so that your journey may be powered by all that is good, within and without. Remain calm and everything will work out just fine.

-From the Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Stabilizing and Contributing Now

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…you need!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Whether we feverishly track the news or guardedly protect ourselves from incoming data storms we are all, at our interconnected core, impacted by what is happening in the world. Though we might insulate ourselves from the plight of children separated from their parents, at a certain level the emotional energy of their fear and sadness runs through us all.

The high profile suicides we have witnessed recently speak to the existential despair of our fragile egos, subjected to a milieu of instability, uncertainty, and disintegration. As a psychotherapist my role is to acknowledge these truths and help people safely cross the tumultuous river of our time.

Recognizing that we are all interconnected means that certain currents of thought and feeling that flow through us are collective in nature; they are greater than our individual selves yet we might interpret them quite personally. Ego can forge its navigating ship by recognizing its interconnected core but at the same time not identify with or attach its individual self to its collective affiliation.

Copycat syndrome is actually ego loosing its grounded footing and identifying itself with the mood, thinking, and action of another. Ego is indeed vulnerable to dissolving its identity and merging with a collective impulse, as is well illustrated by a mob mentality. In fact, at present we are witnessing mob mentalities emerging from many corners, deeply challenging our individual egos to know thyself apart from the collective self of the group.

Turning attention to the body self is most helpful at this time. The body registers the collective emotional currents of now in stress reactions that tighten the body boundaries through clenching. Giving ourselves the message that, “it is safe to release in this moment,” accompanied by slow deeper breathing releases these inner dams of tension and better prepares ego to go with the flow.

From this more personally grounded place, ego can contribute to calming the collective angst by tapping into love energy, which radiates back into the collective river of energy at its deepest current, our interconnected oneness. Love is the glue that binds us together as a human family.

Feel and send love to the separated children. Feel and send compassion to those in control of deciding the fate of those children that they might find their way to love in their actions. Arm the self with love energy that it may hold together while weathering through the great changes and challenges of now.

Encased in love we hold together and advance regardless of outer circumstance. Love endures the pain of separation. Love issues from beyond space-time where all is one, all the time. It is our deepest challenge and greatest opportunity to find our way to this enduring connection in this time of great distraction and separation.

Through stabilizing and dis-indentifying with the violent currents of now we find our way to the deepest current of love, which contributes to the restoration of our true oneness. Find your way down to that which always flows at the depth of your being, the universal current of love, and let it radiate, period.

Love is all,

Chuck

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Don’t Push the River

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Decisions are the responsibility of the ego. Guidance may come from infinity or by simply contemplating the Tao of now, but ego, through the exercise of consciousness, must arrive at a decision and plan of action.

River-walking…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The ego is in charge of time-space navigation. The higher self, a higher power, and spirit guides, all of whom reside in infinity, can offer wisdom and the broadest possible perspective, but it falls upon the ego self to decide the next right action in daily life.

What is a right decision? The simple answer is, one that aligns with the true needs of the whole self. The ego might reason through a dilemma and come to a logical conclusion as to what must be done. This might be the right decision, but the ego would do well to also feel through a decision: does this feel right in the same way that it logically adds up? If it does, it’s a go! But if feeling and thinking don’t align, further deliberation is required.

Often times the ego is more centered in the solar plexus chakra, the seat of personal power. From that vantage point the ego gets the perspective of utilizing its power for its own needs and gain. This perspective is indeed important. We see it at the center of world decisions at present, but it is limited to its own survival and gain and tends to dismiss the larger interdependent reality beyond itself.

The heart center chakra has a greater connection to interdependent reality and often delivers its guidance in a sensation or calmness that follows a thought, thereby offering its support to the perspective that thought presents. The ego does well to check in with the solar plexus as well as the heart to be sure it is considering the needs  of both self and the greater interconnected reality.

It is amazing how much strength can be mustered to plow forward with a narrowly based decision. The ego can exercise its will to force the world to respond. Often however, if the ego is not inclusive of the greater interconnected reality, the world responds with negative feedback in the form of some kind of resistance to the ego’s push. This is where we find ourselves trying to push the river.

There is a right decision to be made and the ego must actually discover it. Discovering a decision is actually more appropriate than making a decision. The paradox here is that the ego must decide what is right, but in actuality the process is one of ultimately acquiescing to what is right. Only a mature ego is capable of surrendering its willfulness and aligning itself with what is truly right.

The process of ego maturation is the “Groundhog Day” of life on this planet. As we work with and bring our ego into mature alignment with spirit consciousness, we discover that all our decisions are right decisions because they teach us the consequences of making decisions based on ego alone. We learn from our mistakes. Thus, all decisions accrue value, as eventually we discover that they have all been part of a process leading to change.

Rather than pushing the river we learn the art of river-walking: walking with consciousness within the true flow of interconnected energy.

Learning to walk,

Chuck