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A Day in a Life: Instinctual Fear & Learned Fear

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In the channeled message on Monday, Jeanne and I discussed fear as the culprit that sets up blockages inhibiting access to the fuller self, as a hindrance on a path of inner growth. After my channeling I began to think about instinctual fear. I know it is necessary and must be utilized and I realized that perhaps it may not have been clear that Jeanne was really only talking about fear that has become habit. Fear that has become habit is something quite different from instinctual fear.

We have a very elderly dog. She is rather large, a shepherd-husky mix, with thick fur, big ears, a long furry tail and severe hip dysplasia, a condition not uncommon in those breeds. She has grown afraid in her old age; in human years she is 119 years old and counting. In the old days nothing would have stopped her from bounding out of the house early in the morning; she would have pounded her way through even the highest of snowdrifts to roll around and do her business. Now she hesitates at the door, looks outside, assesses the situation and if it feels slippery to the first timid touch of her paw on the flagstone porch she will turn around and go back into the house, not at all interested.

This is learned fear. This is fear that is the result of falling on the ice, slipping in the snow, and not being able to get up. When she has fallen she has probably also hurt herself, though she will rarely ever complain or make a sound. This is the natural tendency of an animal to not let it be known that it is weak, for fear of attack from predators—instinctual fear. As we have observed this new behavior over the winter we have noticed that the fear of falling now almost rules her every activity. Even inside the house she hesitates before walking across a stretch of wood floor—preferring to suffer the odds, she often takes it at a run rather than simply walk across it to follow us. We have devised methods of helping her get beyond this very real fear, by putting a leash on and urging her out the door, making a path for her in the high snow, running out ahead of her and urging her forward, laying rugs over the ice and throughout the house. With our help she has, sometimes, been able to conquer her fear.

I like to look to nature for instruction. I think about animal fear, the instinct mechanism that says: Uh-oh, I’m in danger. I see a deer standing stricken with fear before the headlights of my car, before it leaps out of the way, instinctually knowing that it had better move. I see the scared rabbit shivering in the snow as it is approached by a predator, before it too bounds off to safety. I hear the birds instinctively shrieking, sending up distress calls, flying out into the trees to distract hungry predators from their nests.

We humans also have these natural instincts. When a situation arouses this kind of instinctual fear, we tune into our natural state of being and without forethought we act, we use it to protect ourselves or others. Would we not run out of the road if a car were approaching or save our child from being run over? Would we not leap out of the way of a hungry predator? However, we too, just like our old dog, have learned behaviors, learned fears. We all have new fears that we have adopted as we have navigated through life, and these new fears may interfere with our natural inclination to experience life, with the instinctual drive to live full lives, exploring our greater meaning and purpose. These learned fears might actually suppress that instinctual mechanism lying at our core to the point where we cannot even act to save ourselves from danger.

The impact of learned fear must also be taken into consideration as we investigate our willingness and capacity to take a spiritual journey. What fears do we have that prohibit us from taking the journey that our spirit invites us on, showing us almost daily what it wants us to learn about ourselves so that we are not held back any longer from more fully integrating our natural selves into our lives? Personally, I used fear, instinctual and learned fears, my whole life, to protect myself; this is fairly common, most people do this. But also, I knowingly used those fears to keep myself from having experiences that made me uncomfortable. Here the unconscious came into play; though unaware of its aid at the time, it kept me from experiences that might trigger other unconscious, repressed experiences that would have surely interfered in my growth into adulthood. Thus, in using fear, I also perpetuated fear as an integral part of my life. What eventually happened was that by living safely protected within the confines of that fear, I also became controlled by it. As a result, I became increasingly restless, angry, depressed, and felt that I had no life of my own. I saw only death in the future. Underneath it all, however, I was being pushed into alignment with something new by my ancient instinctual spirit self, and yes, a death of sorts, but only a death of that which was not mine to carry. I was being urged into taking a shamanic journey of recapitulation.

In recapitulation we are invited by our ancient instinctual selves to face our fears. As the process of recapitulation naturally unfolds our unconscious opens its doors, kept so tightly locked by our fears, and allows us to see just what it was that taught us those debilitating fears in the first place. In recapitulation we also reunite with our ancient instinct, understanding how it has worked to protect us in the past and how it can be brought out into a more fully integrated new life. Sometimes there may be a fine line between what is instinctual fear and what is learned fear, but that’s okay if we understand that we use them both when necessary, and if we can accept that there is always some aspect of ourselves that will come forth to protect us when we most need it.

In recapitulation we learn to distinguish between fears placed on us by others, fears learned through our experiences, and innate fears, but really what we learn is that our fears have controlled us, no matter where they came from. We gain a clearer understanding of our true inner desires to live differently. We more clearly hear the calls of our ancient spirit self, wishing that we could do and experience life from a different perspective.

And, as we recapitulate, we learn how we used to do things and we learn that we can choose to do things differently. We can change our habits and behaviors for no other reason than that it is good for us to do so. When we dare ourselves to move beyond the old fears we allow the true self to more fully live, confident that we have all we need inside us, instinct and nature more finely tuned to guide us now away from the old and into the new.

Our old dog lies at my feet as I write this blog, sighing occasionally, snoring, her fears at rest for the moment; and that is how our fears work. We can send them away, go about our usual activities, sleep them off, but that is only a temporary reprieve from the demands of the fearful self. Soon enough we have to get up again and face that self that won’t let us live from the ancient heart-centered spirit, that only tells us to live by the predilections of a society that tells us we must fear everything. We know those trappings of fear so well. We may even be bored with them, bored with how they control us, keep us caught doing the same things over and over again, keep us from running out the door and leaping into life, to roll around in the energy of new experiences. If we are as timid as our old dog, our lives become pretty limited, routine and boring, as if we were 119 years old.

Personally, I elected a long time ago to go over to another life, even before this one was over. I elected to err on the side of heart-inspired energy, to grab onto what I always knew lay just beyond this world. I just had to put myself in alignment with it, to see beyond the fear and face a different life, a heart-centered life. That was really what I did during my recapitulation. I put myself in alignment with the teachings of my own heart and I will not ever leave it again.

Of course, I have to face the choices I made. As I go out into the world and meet people who once knew me in a certain way, I have to face the fear that immediately arises like a shield between us when I tell them that I took a shamanic journey and that I am in a new world now. “Literally,” I say, “I am literally living in a different world, and I love it!” There is fear in their eyes when I say this, and that is a fear that I come up against quite often these days, and it is not fear of something harmful, but fear of something beautiful! Why are we so afraid of that which is so good for us, naturally so, our ancient heart-centered intent?

So, perhaps this blog may help in understanding the difference between fear and fear, between true instinctual fear and learned fear, between electing fear and electing something beyond fear. Life is really a good roll in the snow; it really is beautiful. I encourage everyone to reach for the inspiration of the ancient heart-centered self and find out!

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Thanks for reading! Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#745 Navigating Fear

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Written by Jan Ketchel and including a channeled message from Jeanne Ketchel.

Over the past three Mondays, we have been exploring different means of navigating through life. Personally, I have found that the biggest block to everything is fear. Generally, I find myself coming up against fears that I do not even recognize as fears, though I may know the comforting presence of them, as they have most likely always been in my life, though often unacknowledged as such. When we begin to look more closely at ourselves, at the judgments and declarations we utter, at the choices and inner resolutions we so proudly attain and adhere to, when we dare ourselves to stay more present in the moment and equally more innerly attuned, we may be able to describe everything that gets in our way as a fear.

Why do I continually have the same kind of reaction to a certain situation, person, or challenge? Why do I always get myself into the same kind of relationships? Why do I find so-and-so such a disturbing presence? Why am I so reluctant to change? Why am I so determined to control every situation in my life? Why is it so hard to flow with what life presents? What is it that keeps me from fully expressing my feelings? Why can’t I fully attain my potential, my dreams, a good relationship, a calm place, etc.? What is wrong with me? We might ask all of these questions at some time in our lives.

Before I began my recapitulation journey I used to constantly ask myself: What is wrong with me? It was an inner mantra—incessantly present background chatter that I could not dismiss. I knew that something was wrong at my core and that it held me firmly in its grip. Although I barged ahead into life, I still always came up against that hard stone of truth. As I began my recapitulation, taking a shamanic journey into the tangled and deeply confused self, the first thing I confronted was that hard stone of truth. And when I stood in front of it and faced it squarely and asked it what it was, it revealed itself for the first time, very clearly. And I could not deny the truth of it: I was afraid of everything. I carried this stone of truth always with me, this fear of everything, yet I was also successful in pushing it far enough down inside me that I could engage in life, becoming a fully functioning adult, with a career, a family, and a rich creative life.

Before my recapitulation, this struggling self, pushing this heavy stone around, fluctuated between dealing with the pain of carrying this stone, the inner spirit self unable to fully emerge, with the outer ego self needing to be fully in the world, but also greatly compromised. They often battled against each other, each seeking to rule. This bipolar self, that Chuck so beautifully describes in his Reality blog, often raged in separate corners, fighting fiercely against each other, as is fully appropriate. As we grow out of childhood and enter the world of everyday reality the ego self must take over. But what happens to the spirit self? The spirit self sits behind that stone of truth, holding the secrets of existence and of many other realities, waiting for opportunities to take us there.

Eventually, hopefully, we get to a place in life where the ego self has done enough for us and we can let it take a backseat and allow the things of the spirit to more strongly be heard. But what holds us from accessing and more fully allowing those other more innerly desires of the spirit self to fully live?

First, the ego, long used to holding the seat of power stands in the way with its greatest weapon always drawn: all of our fears. For it has used them so well to navigate life, why would it cease to use them? If we can face and acknowledge that we are truly afraid of everything, we can begin to take a true recapitulation journey. As I began to face my fears and take that recapitulation journey I learned that it meant shattering everything that I had so far lived by, everything the ego had worked so hard to establish and rule by. And I discovered that the gas that the ego, as our vehicle in life, runs on, most of the time is fear. It fuels everything from inflation to deflation, high self-esteem to low self-esteem, our driven self and our depressed self. Fear truly is the hard stone that lies at our core and directs how we live our lives.

Today, I ask Jeanne to join us and give us some pointers on how to deal with our fears. For even if we have done a good job of recapitulating, even if we have spent years in therapy, in healing activities, in seeking to evolve, we cannot get away from the reality of fear. It is in us always. It will always arise, and does so every day of our lives. Think about it.

So, Jeanne, what advice do you offer us today, as we seek to identify, own, and go beyond our fears?

My Dear Ones: FEAR is but a tool to use for growth. FEAR can take one into life and it can take one out of life. FEAR can aid one in aligning with spirit intent and it can also become an ally in promoting the intent of the ego. FEAR is both an accomplice and a teacher.

Do not look on fear as negative. It is not a detrimental aspect of self, but the true teaching self. It is the spirit self and the ego self in alignment, gathered together in proposing the work that must be done.

As I channel, I see a vision of the two selves on either side of a huge boulder or ancient stone monolith, which is speaking to them (sort of like that opening scene from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey) and I hear this: FEAR=Face Everything And Recapitulate!

Yes, that is what fear does—it speaks its truths. But who is ready to hear them and who is not? It does not matter really, for it does not ever stop talking. As Jan mentions, it chatters incessantly throughout life, proposing and imposing thoughts, speaking out of place, sending annoying messages through brain, body, and energy. Fear is always present.

So now that we can perhaps accept that idea, that it is always present and here to teach us, what comes next?

The next step, after acknowledging its grand presence, is to pay attention to it. Ask it what it is trying to tell you. What does it mean to show you? Where is it taking you today? What does it want you to confront? What does it ask you to barge through? What door is it opening? What is it really trying to show you?

Once fear arises and is confronted, it literally seems to disappear, at least until it arises again. But was it really there to begin with? Is it a solid object? Can you touch it with your hands or was it just a figment of your imagination? Fear exists and yet it does not. Fear is present at all times, and yet it is hardly there at all. It is present in the duality of self, representing the ego self who must play out what fear presents to it and it is also the spirit self who knows that, as an enigma, it is most necessary to encounter and understand.

Life is really very simple, My Dears. It is a constant journey of confronting the inner fears. These fears may loom large and imposing, projected in outer encounters, but when you come down to it, they do not really exist. As soon as you barge through them they evaporate, they shatter into nothing more than mental blocks, stones of awareness that, when shattered, give you a boost in energy.

Look thus on your fears as envelopes of energy waiting to be released—pockets of fear are pockets of vital life force. Your job, as a student of life, is to gather your energy. Your tests are to conquer your fears. And your fears are always with you. In one form or another, your challenges will appear totally encased in fears that must be confronted and burst apart, so that you may capture the energy they have been holding for you.

Don’t you feel exhilaration when you challenge yourself to confront your fear and succeed in decimating its power over you? This is how you learn to navigate life; by decimating your fears you grow and evolve, but you also gain energy.

And what happens if we refuse again and again to face and burst through our fears, Jeanne?

In the long run, refusal to meet fear means that fear will take over. That stone you speak of, Jan, will grow larger, until you are totally encased in the hard boulder of it, until you have no more energy. You will live a life unfulfilled, yet still be confronted by your fears. You will constantly go to battle for the energies of your fears, but your own evolution will have been compromised, for the time-being declared unprepared for, unready for. When you are ready you will know what to do. But until then the burden of your fears will grow.

You see, My Dears, it’s necessary to find the means of gaining access to your personal energy. You all have enough to get you where you are going to evolve. You just have to find the way to access it and then use it to gain more.

As you elect to turn your life in a different direction, and face your fears, you will find that some of those fears are very apparent, easily identifiable, known entities and longtime partners in your life. They may be easily burst through as well, but then other fears, not so easily identifiable as such, will come into the game of life. And these are the ones, disguised in many forms, that will really teach you what it means to evolve, to be balanced individuals, and to navigate life with spirit-intent, living in the form of flesh and ego, mind and spirit-thought combined.

Find out who you truly are by facing those fears. It really is the only thing that stands in your way. Your path may not be that clear to you, but I can guarantee that your fears are!

Do you have a last thing to say on this subject today, Jeanne?

Oh yes, don’t forget to love yourself for the fears you bear, and love your fears for guiding you through life, for they are your fuel. They carry the energy you need to truly evolve. They are you, leading you ever deeper to the core of self, the energy self. They may manifest in your life and in your body, but they are your energy self. Find your way to them and gather from them the knowledge they hold. Your fears are your power! You see?

Thank you, Jeanne!

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below. And thank you for passing the messages on!

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Meditating into Egolessness

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Once again nature predominates in the Northeast, another winter storm creating an outer cocoon that is hard to penetrate. At times like this, there is a natural call to go inward, to hunker down, be warm and safe, and hope that the power stays on so that we are not too badly inconvenienced. During one of these recent storms, as I was shoveling the driveway for what felt like the hundredth time that week, feeling dispirited, irritated, and personally put upon by nature, I shouted out: ENOUGH! In the distant woods I heard a loud gravelly cry in reply. It got my attention.

Taking a breather, I flopped down in the snow and stared up into the sky, the snow pelting my face cooling my mood. “Don’t take it so personally,” I told myself. From the woods came a flurry of activity, the sound of wings beating and more loud calls, as if an argument or fight were taking place. In the next moment, a large black bird flew up and out of the tangle of trees, still calling loudly, its adversary shouting behind it. It flew directly overhead, a raven. Now it really had my attention.

The raven rarely shows itself. I see it only occasionally though I know it lives in the nearby woods, having heard it often enough. Its loud groveling voice is easy to distinguish. As it flies overhead I hear it still arguing with the other bird, perhaps ousting it from its territory, or perhaps it was a mate, but all I know is that this moment is meaningful. I ponder what I had been thinking when it so loudly interrupted my inner dialogue. “Who are you to complain?” it seemed to be saying, as it flew directly over me lying spread eagle in the deep snow.

It flew low enough that I could see each separate feather of its distinctly cut wedge-shaped tail, hear the flap of its wide wings, and see its beady eye staring right at me. Out of its long, sharp black beak came another string of garbled sounds, meant for me, I felt. “Don’t take it personally, Jan, but you are nothing. I see you lying down there, nothing more than a speck on the ground, so small and insignificant. I have quite a good perspective from up here you know,” it seemed to be saying. I saw the significance of the synchronicity very clearly then and, indeed, in that moment, I was released of my bad mood.

I got up, brushed the snow off my clothes, my state of mind now shifted. I chuckled at my former disgust with nature. Nature, I knew now, had quite a sense of humor. “Yes, it does!” cackled the raven, as it flew off into the deeper woods where I knew it stayed most of the time. Its chuckles pierced the air, echoing in my head for a long time afterwards.

I thought of this raven again yesterday, as I sat in meditation. I began by chanting a mantra, letting it come out of my unconscious of its own accord, falling into place. It went something like this: I allow my ancient spirit self who knows and sees to be more fully present in this life. As I sat quietly, letting both my breathing and the words take me deeper into calmness I also let the words sink in deeper, taking hold of other thoughts, pushing them away, as I stayed connected to the intent of the moment, to let my ancient self emerge more fully. I felt good. I noticed occasionally that I was not allowing other thoughts to intrude, that I was achieving a sense of detachment and emptiness, staying focused on my intent.

I use meditation in many ways and for different purposes, depending on the day or the moment. Sometimes I just want to achieve a sense of inner calm and peace. Sometimes I want to mull over difficulties, reach a resolution, or gain clarity. Sometimes I want to have an adventure of energetic proportions. Yesterday, I just wanted to see what happened as I attempted to resolve my personal inner dilemma of allowing my inner spirit—that holy/wholly self that Jeanne mentioned in the channeled message this week—to more fully live. It is my challenge, to not fall back into an old and moody self, but to keep moving forward on that path I mentioned in that same channeled message the other day.

So, as I chanted and breathed, after a while I got in touch with that inner spirit and I heard it say that it was not at all afraid to live, to be more fully present in my life, but that my ego kept getting in its way. It cannot emerge if the ego is in control, it told me. The ancient spirit self is always ready and waiting, but it cannot come forth if the ego is blocking the way. When I heard this, I gave myself a new chant: I allow my ego self to dissolve and let go of its need to control as I open to my ancient spirit self who knows and sees.

While I am having this inner conversation with what I think are my inner spirit and my ego, I hear another third voice asking me to question what is ego and what is ancient spirit. It was then that I clearly saw how totally dominant my ego was. Here I thought I was really letting myself go, feeling good about chanting in such a positive spirit-oriented way, saying: “Look at me, I’m doing it. I have successfully shut out all other voices, I am doing a good job with this meditation.” But wouldn’t you know, all I was doing was placating my ego, because that look-at-me-I’m-doing-such-a-good-job voice was really my ego talking. That third voice, so clearly coming from beyond ego pointed out what my ego was doing. This, was the voice of my ancient spirit self, telling me that in order to truly allow the ancient spirit self to more fully emerge I must consider the power of the ego.

So, what if it’s true that the ancient spirit self really does want to live but we are blocking its emergence without even realizing it? What if our ego is so attached to us and in command that we can’t access this true self? It’s something to ponder.

So, what is ego? I think it’s everything that is not ancient spirit self. And I think it dominates. It is the complaining, whining, self-important self; the inflated, so busy I can’t be disturbed self; the poor-me and why-me self. It is the self that says love me and be nice to me, world. It is the self that feels good about sitting and doing meditation and the self that wants experiences of energy and even of spirit connection. Yes, it is even the good self that seeks out the ancient spirit self. It is the self that rails against nature, against even more snow, and it is the self that may not want to hear the truths being spoken.

I had a feeling when I heard and saw that raven that it was a momentous occasion, and yesterday, when I sat down to meditate, the fact that the raven came to mind, as I chanted forth my ancient spirit self, is also significant to me. As I sit here now and once again watch the snow, sleet and freezing rain fall, the piles of snow outside growing increasingly taller, I feel more connected to the raven, showing me what the ancient spirit self is truly capable of. That ancient spirit self is like the raven, able to fly high about it all, to see and know from a different perspective what my ego self can only imagine, to call down and say, “Hey, wait a minute, what is really going on inside that controlling mind of yours?” My ancient spirit self is nature. This I understand more fully today.

And even though I cocoon myself inside my warm house and ponder these things, I know that later today I will be outside once again with my shovel, nature telling me I am nothing. But at the same time I will listen for the call of the raven telling me I am more than nothing as well, because I am also nature. And it is in nature that I will find my ancient spirit self, where I will hear its true call.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#744 Navigating a Breakthrough

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Written by Jan Ketchel and including a channeled message from Jeanne Ketchel.

In recent conversations with Jeanne we have discussed learning to navigate through life using simple mantras of intent and opening up to innocence within. Personally, I have always found the process of allowing my innocence to guide me and speak to me as very liberating. It has afforded me the opportunity to learn how to bypass a lot of old ideas about myself, releasing myself from their captivity and in so doing learn how to channel. It has further allowed me the opportunity to embrace a different journey from the one I had so determinedly set out for myself when I was younger.

Most of my life—before the last decade—was spent in running away from things that although disturbing and often frightening to face were really attempting to liberate me from their energy and a programmed way of thinking and perceiving. If we turn and face that which we think is out to get us, pursuing us in order to make our lives miserable, we might discover that it is not actually some foreign energy or alien entity chasing us, but a part of ourselves that is just trying to overtake us in order to help us truly know ourselves more fully.

In doing a recapitulation, by turning and facing the past, however horrible and disturbing, we offer ourselves the opportunity to quite abruptly and cleanly switch gears. We offer ourselves access to a new path and new energy but, most importantly, our truths.

I know that all the talk that Chuck and I do about taking a recapitulation journey, and the opportunities it offers may seem quite impossible or even pretty far-fetched, but the fact is that it is one of life’s greatest and most liberating challenges. It is not an easy task to either begin or to stop it once it has begun, for the unfolding, once engaged, takes on a life of its own and it will not cease until it has carried us through our darkness. Oh, we can try to slow it down. We can try to run from it as we have in the past, step out of its path, hide from it, but once we have allowed ourselves to step into the energy of the recapitulation process our awareness, now finally awakened, will not ever fully go back to sleep.

Having the knowing-self finally present in our lives, the one who speaks so bravely and truthfully to us, is what I could not reject once I stopped running and hiding. Even attempts to refuse its missives could not be thwarted for long. And you know what? I didn’t really want to stop the process that I saw so clearly unfolding before me. I was just afraid of all the changes that I knew I had to go through, all the experiences I knew I needed to have.

Probably the most frightening part of the recapitulation process was learning to totally let go of everything I had been taught, as I challenged everything and began to open to learning new ways of seeing and perceiving everything. But the funny thing was that encountering those new ways was like reuniting with well-known friends, friends who had always been present in my life, just waiting for me to find them. Those new ways had been pursuing me, running alongside those horrors that I had been keeping just one step ahead of for so long.

The other day, I said to Chuck, I wonder where I would be now if I had not met you. I could not visualize a life at all. In fact, there was no other life. Once I made the decision to recapitulate there was only one path that opened up for me. From then on, I did not have so many decisions to make because there was only one path in front of me. The only decision I had to make was to just keep going, one step at a time. Suddenly, there were no longer any more forks in the road—the road just stretched out endlessly in front of me. I am still on that same road. It is still endless. And I am still faced with the same challenge: to keep going, to keep opening to the unfolding of the journey ahead.

In running, I had attempted to outpace not only my bitter truths, but also my true self. Fortunately, I paid attention to the signs, the synchronicities, and the desperate calls of that true heart-centered self. I still pay attention. I’m doing that right now, as I allow myself to sit down and have conversations with someone who no longer exists in human form. And then I dare to take it one step further and write about these conversations each week in this blog. Sometimes I surprise myself, but when Jeanne asked me to be a partner in this adventure, I—that true self—could not refuse the call, for it had been ringing through me my entire life, reverberating, louder and louder, until I finally decided that nothing else mattered.

When I finally decided to stop running, catch my breath, and sit down, I was given the biggest challenge and gift of my life, as I watched the movie of my past play out within me and the movie of my future too. Now I guess I will ask Jeanne to follow up on that part of the process of navigating through life, of taking that big first step of choosing to stop and listen. There will be no change in life if choices are not made—I think we all know that by now. It doesn’t matter how many times we are shown that everything is possible and that everything is meaningful, and it doesn’t really matter how many times our innocence calls; if we choose not to face what they are trying to tell us, we won’t get anywhere.

So Jeanne, I ask you to talk today about this process of choosing to stop the world long enough to see a new path, long enough to see that something incredible awaits us in the future. How do we bear the tension of accepting that we may not be on the right path, even though we have it so well planned and thought out? How do we acquiesce to the true path, even though we can’t quite see it?

My Dearest Readers: What Jan is talking about is indeed paying attention to the call of the holy spirit within. Each one of you has this spirit who abides in you, with you, protecting, guiding, and lighting your way. It is not an outer, separate being, but the true self who holds your entire scope of lives in its memory bank, the past and the future. This holy spirit is your whole self, wholly contained within, wholly affordable and accessible, waiting just beyond ego, beyond the door of that world, beyond thoughts that keep you so concerned about doing life as you have been taught. It is ready to teach you how to do life differently, and this is what Jan speaks of today.

She is right that choices must be made. Nothing will happen in life, no progress will be made if you do not choose to embrace life. If you never leave your house, your fears will surround you evermore heavily, pressing down upon you, calling you to face them. If you choose to hunker down and ignore them you can be assured that they will come knocking ever-louder, for they see that you are at innocent’s door. In your state of fear you are actually preparing yourself for the grand breakthrough that will release you to the guidance within.

Your breakthrough to accessing your fears must be accompanied by your sober, knowing self. Your mature adult self, who has been your running companion, must now turn into your strength in a new form. The power of your adult self must become your new mother and father, and when I say “new” I mean your true mother and father guiding you properly, from your pool of innocence and knowing, rather than from your previous experiences of who a mother and father are.

In choosing to take a recapitulation journey, with your spirit and your mature self, which will indeed lead you to encounter so much more than just your past, you will begin to understand that a journey is a solitary one, based on the energy that you were imbued with a long time ago.

So what, Jeanne, is the next step to getting to this place of listening to the holy spirit and new parents within?

Find your breaking point. Find your point of no return. Find yourself fully aware that there is no turning back. Find yourself absolutely done with life as you know it, fed up, exhausted by it, tired of it, bored, depleted, un-nurtured, unfed by it. Look at where you are in your life and, using your holy spirit and your mother and father within, ask yourself if you are ready to change.

Your fears will fly up in your face, so be ready for this. Keep listening to the truth within, and step slightly off your old well-worn path and do something different for the self alone. Even a tiny moment of change may be all you need to begin the shift of a lifetime.

Jeanne, you are reminding me that one of the simplest things I began to do for myself when I was at my breaking point, when I knew I was about to break my world apart, was that I began to take a bath every evening after dinner was over and the kids were doing homework. I established with everyone in the family that I was not to be disturbed for the half hour or so that I was soaking in the tub. I had never taken baths and I had never refused my kids access to me, so it took a while before everyone got used to the new routine, before the kids stopped coming to the door to ask me things and before I could say, “Not now, when I’m done,” and before I could actually accept that I liked and needed those few minutes of down time. I began to change some of the dynamics that I had long perpetuated within the family structure simply by removing myself from them, but by doing it in a way that was personally nurturing for a change. I asked my old scolding parents within to go away too while I soaked in the tub and asked a gentler pair to enter and that was the beginning of change in my life. The act of lying in water too allowed me to learn how to soften both inside and outside.

Perhaps, fellow journeyers, there is something in your life that will afford you the opportunity to break through? Perhaps you already know what it is, but you just have to choose to flow with it.

Jeanne, do you have anything else to say in closing today?

Only this: Do not dismiss the innocent self, the holy spirit, the wholly necessary and evolving self who speaks of what you need but cannot fulfill it without your participation. Choosing to do something even slightly different in your life invites other aspects of self to participate more fully and that is the catalyst, the shift, to breaking through the walls that keep you encased in your fears.

As you face your fears you will also be facing your treasures within. Invite some new people into your homes today, into your inner sanctum of self. See what they suggest you do for the self in order to get beyond where you are now. Even if you have done a lot of work on the self, there is still always more to do. You are never done with life.

Experiences await! Open the next door and see where it leads. A solitary journey, you will see, is full of good traveling companions; you just have to let them come along for the ride!

Thank you, Jeanne!

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below. And thank you for passing the messages on!

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: A Blip in the Universe

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In the middle of the night I woke up and my thoughts went to what I would write about today in this blog. I fell back to sleep and dreamt that I was writing fluidly and flowingly. The words “write like a shaman” were spoken in a voiceover throughout the dream. When I woke up I remembered the dream but could not remember any specifics nor come up with a theme for today’s blog. Usually, I just sit at my computer and the words flow, but today that was just not happening, unlike my dream.

Then something unusual happened. I’d been sitting here for about an hour struggling with several ideas and had just gotten something down that made some sense when a blip in the universe caused my screen to go blank and, not having saved my draft, I lost everything I had written. Now, as I sit here even more frustrated and quite deflated, that dream comes back to me and I wonder again what it was that I had written in the night that flowed so easily and what I am supposed to learn from the two worlds I am encountering, the dream world and this present reality.

I’ve been feeling scattered lately, not quite my grounded self, the outer world taking my attention. Even as I sit here now and write I keep glancing outside. We are expecting yet another snowstorm in the Northeast and to tell you the truth I’m getting pretty tired of it. Yes, the ice-coated trees do glitter fantastically in the sunlight, but I’m getting tired of shoveling and I’m really looking forward to spring.

On Monday, in the channeled message, Jeanne mentioned that we must not take things too personally and yet that we must reflect on what we are personally being shown as we navigate through our lives. Today, I personally feel that I have been humbled before the power of the universe and nature. It can so easily take over, taking away what I had struggled so hard to write, letting me know that I’m just not that important. The pending snow doesn’t care that I’m tired of shoveling or that I’m cold. That’s just the way it is.

The seers of ancient Mexico would totally agree with the universe and nature. We are nothing and yet we are here, part of the universe, part of nature, as Jeanne also mentioned in her message. So, today I acquiesce to nature. I turn this blog over to the blip in the universe and sign off to ponder just what it is that I am being shown.

May the rest of the day unfold differently now, as I give a nod to the energy that pushes us to change—or not—it doesn’t really matter, because I have already acquiesced. What comes will come and I accept it!

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan