#654 Chuck’s Place: The Heart of Romance: Solutio

Welcome to Chuck’s Place, where Chuck Ketchel expresses his thoughts, insights, and experiences! Many of the shamanic and psychological terms used in Chuck’s essays are defined in Tools & Definitions on our Psychotherapy website.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, the day of ROMANCE! Romance is an innate, quick-acting solvent, capable of dissolving boundaries, with the promise of blissful union. Ultimately, romance engages us in a process of projection where we encounter both our inner blockages and ideals in the reflection of our beloved. The challenge in romance is to truly individuate, that is, to overcome our inner resistances and be available to love, versus seeking resolution through changes in our projected reflection in the other, for instance, trying to overcome a deep sense of unlovability through our lover’s convincing us that we are lovable, by their unrelenting, adoring attention, yet never truly believing this within, remaining compulsively bound to our lover’s reassurances.

We are all born from solution. Our bodies gradually coagulate and differentiate as we float blissfully in the ocean of the womb. Leaving the womb is hardly a blissful experience. Some have suggested that birth is indeed the primal trauma. Like the expulsion from the Garden, nature forcefully separates the babe from its creator. Our search for love as romance, throughout life, is our deep craving to recapture our primal oneness, wholeness with nature and creator.

The opus of the alchemists was to restore matter, the stone, to its prima materia, solution, the womb, where it could coagulate and be reborn as gold, wholeness. Our challenge in life is to discover and dissolve our hardnesses, our stones: our traumas, defenses, resistances, fears, that we might be reborn a unified whole, capable of true love.

Romance is the most powerful human solvent. In romance, all boundaries dissolve as we merge in magical oneness with our beloved. Most of the images of romance depict solution: champagne, wine, hot tubs, warm pools, clear lakes, waterfalls, ocean waves, warm sandy beaches, cruises, etc. These images of solution return the couple to their womblike origins as they are swept into blissful union. Or at least that’s the promise!

There are some drawbacks to this most desirable and rapid solvent, romance. The morning after often tends to not be so blissful. Aside from a potential hangover, the light of day and the differentiated clarity it offers can shed incredible doubt upon last night’s beloved. Nonetheless, the underlying drive for union is so great that romance eagerly and rapidly projects its golden glow upon yet an other, this time, hopefully, the right other. There is a vast pool of others, many fish in the sea, to project upon.

Often the chosen other reflects an old blockage, a stone in the heart, a frozen experience from the past where great expectation resulted in deep disappointment that shut down the heart. In this case, the golden lover, an obvious wrong choice to the eyes of objective friends or family, is the necessary mistake, the necessary obsession, an attempt to project, encounter and dissolve the old blockage, to once again allow love to flow. This strategy rarely succeeds, as union with this beloved other, in reality, is often most inappropriate, i.e., they are too old, too brutal, too immature, incapable of commitment, incapable of loving, etc. After many successive romantic failures we might, through a depression, be ready to turn inward and begin the opus of dissolution of the stone at its source, within the heart, in the process of recapitulation and individuation. Despite its promise, romance cannot supply a quick fix for necessary deep inner work.

The other major concern with solutio is drowning. The difference between finally being able to cry, to grieve over a loss and break down a long held blockage versus drowning in a pool of tears protesting birth and change, is the difference between floating in preparation for rebirth and clinging to and drowning in the womb, seeking wholeness only in primal unconscious union and oblivion. This is the difference between the child finding nurturance in new life versus the child clinging to the placenta, union through conscious individuation versus unconscious union. The object of the opus is rebirth, to dissolve and resolve, to be born anew, whole. This is the birth that includes consciousness, separateness, and the ability to be whole as separate, to drop separate boundaries and unite with another, yet be able to return to “separateness in wholeness.” Isn’t this the ultimate romance, love without possession, love without clinging; partners, separate and whole, together on a journey?

And so, Happy Valentine’s Day. Whether it be a time of hope with a New Valentine or a time of rebirth with an Old Valentine, just remember to find the greatest love of all, inside of me!

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

#653 Fearlessness

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
What message do you have for us today? Would you like to continue discussing the process of inner work and the important factors and steps to focus on as we take our inner journeys? What else besides patience, perseverance, kindness, innocence, maturity and commitment must we keep in mind?

There is much to be said for taking the inner journey and it is crucial to keep in mind that it is not only a process, but also an investment in the self. To invest in the self requires patience, perseverance, kindness, innocence, maturity and commitment and all that each one of those words means, for as your process continues you will discover the greater meaning of taking such ideas into consideration, as you actually live what they mean.

Consider the self as a river flowing through a landscape, at once as tender and light, as gentle and soothing as water can be, but also as hard and destructive, as harsh and cruel as water can also be. For water soothes the gentle baby’s skin, yet does it also cut through rock. Such qualities are also found inside each of you, the ability to be as gentle as one drop of water or as powerful as a tumbling, mighty river. With such qualities in your awareness and acceptable to you, begin now a deeper exploration of your true capabilities. In your inner work, you must be able to be tender with the self, with your feelings and emotions, with your most painfully sore spots and your deepest wounds. Yet must you also be able to cut through all that arises to prevent your growth. You must be able to crash through the barriers that arise in fearlessness, for only in pushing beyond your present self will you grow.

In embracing fearlessness will you not only be able to attend to all parts of the self that arise while you do your inner work, but you will be able to push beyond them and discover new attributes, new creative talents, new aspects of self that lie hidden and buried by fear and its cohorts. Fearlessness, My Dears, is a most necessary aspect of inner work and you will not be able to take the deeper journey without it.

Look upon the self as a flowing river again. A river is fearless, for it cannot, once it begins its journey, stop itself. Once it has made a rivulet upon the earth it has begun its journey. That rivulet may soon dry up, but it has made its mark. It has scored a path, and when next the rains come, when next the ice melts, when next the stream overflows its banks that rivulet will soak up the waters of life and open to the flow of them again. A tiny rivulet will soon flow beyond its early beginnings and flow with fearless energy because it cannot do otherwise.

Once you begin your inner journey you will be as that tiny rivulet. Your approach may dry up, your energy for the journey dissipate, but you will have cut into the heart and soul of your psyche and your physical body, and you will not be able to rest long before you thirst for the flow of energy to go deeper into the self. Once begun, the inner journey will not let you rest long in a state of depletion, for the process, once begun, must be fed the energy of life.

As you take your journey, as your personal process reveals itself, one tiny drop or one rushing stream at a time, you will begin to understand the momentum of your own yearning to continue the journey, and you will learn what it truly means to be fearless, not in a haphazard or careless manner, but in a steady and knowing manner, as you become aware that confronting your fears is the only means of proceeding through life. Your barriers will become the challenges they are meant to be as you allow fear to be your guide, pushing you forward, rather than allowing them to become overwhelming blockages that you lay down before, pooling your energy in stagnant ponds of fear.

Your fear, as it guides you, will ask you, repeatedly, to flow like a river. For only in flowing like a river will you open up to the greater gifts in life. Fearlessness, combined with patience, perseverance, kindness, innocence, maturity and commitment to the journey, will guide you well as you take into consideration your soul’s purpose and your soul’s greater intent. What is it?

Why, indeed, are you there? You will only discover the answer by continuing your process. And that, My Dearest Ones, means you must tackle your fears. In becoming steadily, increasingly, lovingly, rightly, conscientiously fearless you will truly grow.

#652 Commitment

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Last night, as I was preparing to sleep, I asked you to visit me in dreaming and work with me, to communicate something that was important for me alone to learn. I slept fitfully, waking often out of dreams and falling back into them many times throughout the night. In spite of that it was a good night for dreaming, but not for remembering. The last dream ended with the words “embrace commitment” falling out into my waking moment. I wondered if perhaps these words were not meant for me alone, but perhaps for all who are doing inner work? Is commitment the next step in the process, and is this idea something to discuss today?

My Dear One, commitment to the inner process is already well established if you are this far along, but the idea of further embracing it must be confronted as you take your inner journey. I do not necessarily need to ponder this idea with you today, except to say that in order to truly take the journey you must be committed to it. That being said, if you are now living in that world, having been born into it again, your soul’s intent is committed to taking a journey of evolutionary growth. Your underlying intent is to take the journey, to establish that your life is meaningful and necessary, that it is presented as it is for every reason you can come up with and many more besides.

Your soul’s intent to reincarnate is thus firmly established. You, each one of you who are born into that world, are challenged with discovering this fact. Your soul does ask you to fully embrace this intent, established long before you were consciously aware, long before childhood presented you with your core issues, and long before you had figured out that your journey upon that earth does matter. It matters to you and to your soul that you fully embrace the journey you are on and that you explore it as if you were an adventurer, without limitations, with daring, excited to discover just what lies beyond the next ridge, the next ocean, the next planet, or the next idea.

To awaken to your truths is to understand the commitment your soul has made to you. To awaken to your truths is to reciprocate that commitment, to say to your soul in return: “I am fully committed to taking this journey you have laid out for me and I am ready to explore this life with you. Let the journey truly begin!” In taking such a stand in your life you offer your self the possibility of resolution, resulting in evolution, so that you may choose a different outcome and a different reincarnation in the future.

All who reside upon that earth will leave it, when life is done, with a new opportunity to face new challenges in a new form, either to reenter that earth plane or to move to another plane. This process may not truly be recognized or discovered until that life passes through the gate at death, leading to awareness, but all will go through the process whether the commitment to the soul’s journey has been embraced or not. But to go through that gate to new life and possibility having aligned with the soul’s intent means that your next choice for life may be clearly one of evolutionary opportunity, far beyond the issues you now contend with.

In taking the evolutionary path, committed to inner exploration while in that world —the earth plane— you will actually allow for your soul to enact change, both in its personal choices and in evolutionary changes reaching far beyond the personal. You see, as each one of you choose to evolve energetically, so does everyone else because you, by your work on the self, produce a more aware being in each reincarnation, thus enabling progress in greater human awareness.

Right now it seems that we have reached a standoff almost between those who are energetically and spiritually aware that we do impact far more than just this world with our choices and actions and those who are fully committed to this world alone, with no vision or enticement to look beyond what the eyes can see. It is almost as if the metaphysicists and the scientists are in a tug of war over who is right and what it means to the earth itself. Are we at a crucial point now, the human race, or is this no different than any other moment in human history?

The human race, vast and convoluted as it is, is quite divided in its pursuit of the meaning of life. Is life simply a moment of physical reality or it there something else? Who is right? Truthfully, it does not matter. What matters is that each one of you upon that earth decides, for the self, if you are ready to evolve. Do you hear your soul calling to you? Do you see the signs, hear the words, and smell the reality of its intent leading you onward? If you have heard its call you are ready to take the journey it has prepared for you, but once committed you must be prepared, with the tools available to you, to take what comes to teach you about the self.

I have been offering you many tools, messages for many years now, and each time you assimilate the news that you are indeed supposed to learn you evolve a little further. An evolutionary journey can be very slow and methodical, but it can also speed up simply by your intent to commit to it with greater awareness. This is what you have been asking for over the past few weeks in your requests for simple words of wisdom: how to speed things up. In learning what patience, perseverance, kindness, innocence and maturity truly mean for the self as an evolving being, you further commit your self to your process and your greater journey based on your soul’s intent.

So, although I did not intend to stick to the idea of commitment today, we did indeed need to explore it, for it requires acknowledgement and embracing in order for you to reconnect with your soul’s intent, My Dear Jan and all my Readers. By recalling that you are part of a greater self, may you offer the self this tool of commitment, or recommitment, to your soul’s intent. May you reestablish that your journey through life is meant to teach you that everything you experience is prepared so that you may mature with your greater self, so that you may meet your soul on the river of intent, personal intent flowing through the world you live in, and venture onward together, fully committed to discovering and resolving the age old questions: Why am I here? What is the purpose of my life? What am I meant to learn? Who am I truly meant to be? And so on.

Reconnect with your soul’s intent and you may, through working with the tools provided by your soul itself —in the life you were given— coupled with learning the many self-supportive gifts of patience, perseverance, kindness, innocence and maturity, more fully awaken and more fully embrace the self, your journey, and your evolutionary possibilities.

Does that sound like an interesting enough reason for your life? Are you truly ready to recommit —for you all did commit at one time— to fulfilling the commitment you made with your soul, your greater self? You are your soul, and you set your intent a long time ago. Think about that.

#651 Maturity

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Today I continue with a question regarding our inner work. You have previously suggested that our inner process must be guided by Patience, Perseverance, Kindness, and Innocence. What is the next step?

My Dear One, all my Readers, and those who doubt that there is anything beyond the world you see: you know full well that without maturity you will not evolve or grow, but also that even life in that world will not be fulfilling, for maturity is the cornerstone in all life, the anchor within the self that holds you firmly in balance. It is the next step in your process of inner work, but, even if you are not currently doing your inner work, it is perhaps the most valuable characteristic to embrace in your outer work as well.

Maturity leads to balance. If I were to suggest that balance were the next step, I would likely point out that maturity was the necessary component, for without it balance would be impossible. So you see, maturity must be achieved, firmly rooted within the self in order for balance to be maintained, in order for innocence to be received in a proper manner, and for all aspects of self to be in alignment.

Maturity requires that you become the mature adult within, fully responsible, fully aware that you have within all that you need, desire, and subscribe to in others as necessary for true growth. Maturity is the process of taking control of your life with certain rules, expectations, and guidelines to keep you safe, healthy, and aware, but also to open you up to experiences and adventures with a measure of daring that lead to growth. Maturity means offering the self access to all that is necessary with a measure of firmness connected to knowing just how much you can handle and how far you can go before you lose your equilibrium.

Maturity is true knowing of self. It is being in charge of self at all times. It is asking the self to stay upon the path of awareness, to seek inner growth in whatever world you exist in. Maturity asks that you always consider the greater meaning, that you find the reason but also the purpose for all that challenges you, confronts you, befalls you, or comes to frighten you. Why must you have such distress in your life? Well, by remaining in your mature position of balance, your ideal adult self, you will be in the place of openness and awareness, but also safety and comfort, so that, with your adult self firmly in control and leading you forward, you may further explore your deeper issues.

In maturity, you may successfully explore other worlds and return more balanced and centered. In maturity, you may trust the self more fully and allow the self to move beyond the world before you to the possibilities that each new day offers. With maturity your intuition may open up to you, your doubt may sink away and your truth be clearly heard. By the mature self may you be self-guided, knowing that the universe is supporting you because that is already a given to the mature self, just as it is to the innocent self.

In balance of maturity and innocence will you open new doors within the self, and your progress will manifest in new doors opening outside of you as well. In full maturity will you finally understand your purpose and the greater meaning of life in general, but your own life most specifically. For you will not be afraid of your own truths, and you will no longer run and hide from your fears but confront them consistently and concisely; clearly aware that they are steering you to where to go, to what to confront, and to how to live your life.

With maturity you will grow more certain that your life is most meaningful, that you have nothing to fear, that you are good, capable, knowledgeable and that you are fully outfitted for greater work beyond the self. With maturity you will evolve.

Find, today, your maturity within. Anchor your innocent self to this adult self and, locking hands, proceed on your journey in the safety of self. You know how to be mature, just as you know how to be innocent, even if you are not practiced in either aspect. You just have to step into the role and be what you know are the true actions of maturity and innocence, in fairness, compassion and love, with an eye always on evolving in that world, centered on inner work manifesting in outer work. That is maturity in balance: accepting that both worlds, and the work in both worlds, is legitimate and absolutely necessary in order to change and evolve the self and the world outside of you.

#650 Chuck’s Place: The Wise Ancestral Self

Welcome to Chuck’s Place, where Chuck Ketchel expresses his thoughts, insights, and experiences! Many of the shamanic and psychological terms used in Chuck’s essays are defined in Tools & Definitions on our Psychotherapy website.

We are born into this world with bodies fully formed and constructed via ancient programs of evolutionary successes and, yet, our minds begin as blank slates, orphans of our ancestral parentage. What an apparent contradiction! This is the dominant scientific perspective and, in fact, the experience of most people with the birth of consciousness, or the ego, in early childhood.

This birth of awareness, of “I,” a separate self, is at once exciting and overwhelming. Excitement comes from discovering the freedom and power of autonomy and choice. Fear springs from the awareness that our newly discovered “I” is small and inadequate, hardly capable of caring for itself in a powerful world it neither understands nor can control.

This birth of consciousness is the moment of eating the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden. The punishment for awareness of a separate self is banishment from the garden, and the charge to the ego, that separate self, is to “go it alone,” despite its inadequacy and lack of preparation. Our banishment, the birth of the ego, is our separation from our wise ancestral self. We become a blank slate, seeking, with desperate extraverted eyes, to fill our egos with knowledge, gained from trial and error or formal education, to be capable of occupying a space in this world, with some sense of legitimacy, orphans that we are. This is the plight of the ego, alienated from its wise ancestral self.

We spend the better part of the first half of life struggling to find our place in this world. We seek to discover our talents, our callings, where we belong. We burn through many false starts, trial and error careers and marriages, all the while accumulating more knowledge and clarity of who we “really are.” Regardless of our successes and failures in life, at the deepest level, we remain orphans, at best very adequate, well adapted, successful orphans, but, underneath, aware of a void. For some, this void is a deep sense of inadequacy, while for others it presents as a deep spiritual longing. Jung would identify it as the challenge of individuation, where the ego accepts its rightful but relative place as part of the all-encompassing wise ancestral self.. That wise ancestral self is present and functioning throughout our lives, it is our true guardian angel.

For example, years ago, as I stood alone on a beach in Jamaica, forcibly loading my spear gun, I inadvertently stabbed the back of the spear deep into my palm. (I wrote about this experience in The Book of Us, but I am presenting a different perspective on it this time around.) At that moment, I fainted; my ego vanished. It was overwhelmed; it knew not what to do. When my ego woke up, I returned to consciousness: I was sitting on the beach with my palm packed in a lump of wet sand. The bleeding had been fully contained and coagulated; the wound was completely sterile and healing. Who did that? Who knew exactly what to do without any intervention of consciousness? No one else was on the beach, and my ego was fully asleep.

In another example, years after that, I was driving alone very late at night northbound on the Taconic State Parkway. I fell completely asleep. When I woke up I was driving, properly, in the southbound lanes of the Taconic State Parkway! Mind you, I was not drunk, in some kind of blackout state. I’d simply fallen completely asleep. Who took over the wheel and had the sense of humor to make me grapple with the fact that I had somehow successfully made a U-turn while my ego was asleep!

These are dramatic examples that, for me, illustrate the background activity of the wise ancestral self that operates on our behalf, fully independent of our ego awareness. Yes, we think we are orphans but, the truth is, our wise ancestral self is always participating in our lives. The real issue is whether the ego is in alignment with this wise ancestral self or completely at odds with it. Psychological symptoms, such as compulsions or compulsive projections, as well as physical illnesses often reflect interventions by our wise ancestral self to influence the decisions and actions of our alienated egos. I give the following hypothetical example, using a sexual compulsion. This is not a judgment about the type of sexual play enacted in S & M play. I assume here that my hypothetical client is disturbed by their compulsion. For example, this client might be an executive with an extremely powerful, dominant personality in the world, with a lot of control over others but possessed by a strong masochistic sexual compulsion. In this case, the wise ancestral self saddles them with a compulsion that attempts to deflate a power-hungry ego by compelling it to walk around on all fours with a collar around its neck, obeying the commands of a dominatrix. If this individual can rein in its alienated inflated ego and become humble, by assuming its rightful but modest place as part of a greater whole within the psyche, then the wise ancestral self could lift the compulsion and allow balance to be restored.

The introvert has the advantage of direct contact with the wise ancestral self because the primary focus is the inner subjective experience whereas the extravert focuses outside the self, giving primacy to the object. The introvert has direct access to the thoughts and feelings of the wise ancestral self who communicates in both images and words. The artist frequently receives the images and expresses them on a canvas or in other form. For those inclined to words, there is verbal communication with various parts of the wise ancestral self. Jung called this active imagination, where the ego volitionally communicates with the greater psyche to better understand its message or point of view. Channeling, at a certain level, is written or verbal contact with parts of the individual psyche or wise ancestral psyche, what Jung called the collective unconscious. At the deepest level, channeling is communication beyond the psyche and the confines of this world.

Dreaming is a daily dance with the greater psyche. Every time we write down a dream and feel and contemplate the characters and the situations in our dreams we are connecting with and seeking greater alignment with our deeper wise ancestral self. When I write down a dream, I structure it like a poem. For example, recently, I had the following dream:

My younger son was about nine years old, and was a DJ.
His dilemma was, how to get rides to his jobs.
I offered to take him to a particular job.
It turned out that he was the DJ for his own birthday party.
I was surprised. I didn’t know about the party.
He told me he had invited Efren, my old therapist.
I thought, “Why would Efren come?”
He didn’t know anyone.

When I first wrote the dream, I was struck by the image of my son spinning 45’s, as well as the interest of my old therapist in attending his birthday party. That was the extent of my dance with my dream. I returned later, continuing to visualize the spinning record. The word circumambulation came into my mind and I researched its meaning. Jung identified the circular process of attempting to find one’s way to the self as an individuation motif, the process of walking a labyrinth; the ego’s circuitous attempts through life to find its way back to the center, to the garden, to the wise ancestral self. As I visualized the needle on the record, going round and round, making its way toward the center, I recognized that my wise ancestral self was pointing me to embrace the innocence symbolized by my young son. This was further highlighted by my old therapist’s interest in going to the party. He had once been the projection of my wise ancestral self by my younger self, then in therapy with him. This continued dance with my dream shifted both my mood and awareness and directly impacted decisions that I made that day.

The challenge for introverts is to value their inner experiences in a world currently dominated by an extraverted prejudice. The challenge for extraverts is to recognize that the outer world becomes the palette for the deeper psyche to guide and alter judgments and actions. Owning projections for the extravert is an important means to dance with the inner images and align with the intent of the wise ancestral self.

In truth, there is no contradiction between psyche and body when we are born into this world, both are connected to their ancestral roots. It remains for the blank slate ego to rediscover its wise ancestral self. For the introvert, this is most accessible within; for the extravert without, via projection, but no one is a pure introvert or extravert. With a little effort, extraverts can dance with their dreams and introverts recognize their projections.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck