Currently, I put most of my energy into the weekly channeled messages, the daily Soulbytes, and the completion of The Recapitulation Diaries. An occasional blog does still get written when the creative urge strikes. Archived here are the blogs I wrote for many years about inner life and outer life, inner nature and outer nature. Perhaps my writings on life, as I see it and experience it, may offer you some small insight or different perspective as you take your own journey.
With gratitude for all that life teaches me, I share my experiences.
Beings on the other side are trying to get our attention all the time. Jeanne has told us this numerous times and Chuck recently read me a passage from Robert Monroe’s Far Journeys insinuating the same thing.
“What if a fly pestering us is just another being trying to get our attention?” Chuck wondered.
Hard to get a fly to pose, but this little wasp did just fine… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
That same day, as I took an early morning walk, a fly appeared. My earlier conversation with Chuck immediately came to mind. Was this a being attempting contact? The fly pestered me, buzzing in my face.
“Okay,” I said to the fly. “What are you trying to tell me?” It bumped repeatedly into my forehead, right at the level of the third eye. “Stay connected to my psychic self, to my intuitive perceptions? Okay, I will!” And with that the fly buzzed off and I was left in peace.
Later that morning, I struggled with having to do a chore that I felt obligated to do, mostly out of guilt. Was it right to do, or was it just my guilt driving me to do it? I waited. Something didn’t feel right. A part of me implied that waiting was the right action. Every time I thought about this chore I paused; I waited.
After a while, I flipped a coin. Was I being avoidant or should I just do the chore? The coin said no, don’t do it. Should I do it later in the day? I asked the coin. No, don’t do it later, the coin answered. Should I do it at noon? I finally asked. No, the coin said. It seemed that no matter what I asked the answer was going to be no.
I am aware that there is a part of me that knows things that my conscious self does not know. This part doesn’t act hastily. I’ve learned to pay attention though, because it has proven to be right on so many occasions. The fly that had buzzed in my face earlier in the day was reminding me of this part of myself, the psychic self, a part that we all have. It’s just waiting for us to discover it, just as the passage we were reading in Monroe’s book suggested that other beings are trying to get our attention too.
I resolved to pay attention to the message from the fly, to my psychic self, and the coin. I didn’t act. I just waited. In a little while, the reason for waiting came. I didn’t have to do the chore because someone else, who really should have done it, phoned to let me know it would be done.
Trying to remain open, like the first daisy to bloom this year… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
Had I done it out of guilt I would have pandered to an old part of myself. Instead I sat in the uncomfortable tension of waiting and faced my reasons for feeling guilty. In the end, I discovered that had I acted impulsively, just doing what I normally do out of guilt, I would have been guilty of an old behavior! Instead, I felt so relieved that I didn’t, that I paid attention to the fly, to the coin and to what my psyche was telling me. In the end, by waiting I experienced what the fly seemed to be insinuating, guidance IS available if you are open to the experience of it.
In the end, I learned two things: to listen to my psychic self and that guilt is no guide!
Facing the truth of the path that lies before us… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
We are all, at some time in our lives, faced with having to admit that something just isn’t working for us anymore. At such times we might get angry. We might become sad. We might become defiant, or we might simply give up. But the truth is that when something is not working for us anymore we are being asked to face a truth about ourselves, about our life, and about our future. We are being asked to change something and the decision we make is crucial to what comes next.
Sometimes we might have to act on the behalf of another person, and this too puts us in a unique position. Robert Monroe—documented out-of-body traveler, founder of the Monroe Institute and the developer of Hemi-Sync audio technique—described, during an out-of-body experience, being in a position to have to make a decision on behalf of another living creature, in this case, a dog.
Here is the story: He and the dog are the best of companions. They are taking a walk when the dog, running after a rabbit, is struck by a truck. Monroe assesses the situation. The dog is obviously beyond recovery. In order to alleviate his suffering, Monroe takes responsibility and acts quickly. Soaking his shirt in gasoline from the gas tank of the truck that struck the dog, Monroe places the gasoline soaked shirt over the dog’s mouth and with the most tender and caring embrace helps his dear dog go.
Coming out of the OBE, Monroe learns from his teachers that at another time in his life he would have been swept up in such emotional turmoil that he would not have been able to act as quickly and wisely toward his dying dog. He would have clung to him, but it would have been to the detriment of the dog’s spirit, for the truth was that the dog was dying and overpowering emotional attachment would have offered nothing of substance to the situation. At the time of this OBE, however, Monroe had advanced to a place of utter detachment. He had control over his emotions and could focus his energy where it needed to go. Without pity, but only filled with love, he could do what his doggy friend needed him to do.
Sometimes it’s time to let people, pets, things, behaviors and habits go, as succinctly and with as much love and kindness as Monroe administered to his dying dog. They’d had a good life together, but without regret, and without blaming the truck driver for striking the dog—for he knew there was no cause to fault him—Monroe acted in alignment with the truth of what had occurred. He was so emotionally detached that within seconds was able to read the entire scene. His role was clear. He was there to administer impersonal loving kindness and compassion; a karmic duty was performed.
Our own evolutionary process prepares us, through each lifetime, as we train ourselves to take responsibility, gain control over our emotions, and focus our energy, just as Monroe did, to get to the point where we are able to face the truths of a certain situation without attachment or blame.
Wise knowing comes when we are ready to act upon it… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
Sometimes we are called to action unwillingly; we don’t really want to, but we feel obligated. Sometimes we are ready to jump in when asked. Sometimes things are thrust upon us suddenly, as in Monroe’s case. On the day he took his dog for a walk he had no idea he would be called upon to do what he did. Such are the moments when we realize our true spiritual state, when our evolutionary progress is made clear.
The question is: Will we be ready, when called upon, to do the thing that is right for all involved, with only goodness in our heart, without attachment, need, dependency, but simply because it is the right thing? Will we be able to transcend the personal and let go?
“Letting go” can take many forms, depending on our lives, how we’ve created them, and how ready we are to change and allow for new life, whether a new phase of life on earth, or acquiescence to the death of the physical body. Letting go is allowing for change that is right to actually take place, changing us in the process.
In the end, we must all take responsibility for ourselves, for our decisions and our actions; if we don’t or can’t then things will be imposed on us. And so it is imperative that we practice taking control of our own letting go now, in full consciousness, not letting even the letting go overpower us, but riding through it with as much grace and love as Monroe did when he realized it was time to let his dog go.
Part of our karmic process now involves letting go of that which no longer serves us, be it old habits or behaviors, attachments, loves, fears, dislikes, resentments; even our physical prowess must go at some point. The list goes on. We all have something to let go of, as we are all challenged to free ourselves to move on into greater life every day. Can we take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives and move on without burdening, blaming or becoming a victim?
The difficulties we face when we are involved in the lives of other adult beings is that we cannot control or really ask anything of them. Ultimately, every decision, choice and action is up to them. We might see very clearly that they are in a critical situation, being foolhardy, putting their lives at risk or burdening others with their behaviors, and although we might see that there is no time like the present to give advice, the truth is that we really do have to let our own expectations go and allow others to take their own journeys, keeping in mind the lesson that Monroe learned from his teachers, that during another lifetime he had not been so advanced. We are all living the life we are living in order to learn a crucial karmic lesson, even those who frustrate us the most!
What tomorrow may bring we don’t really know, but we can prepare now… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
People will do what people will do, but at the same time if we are called upon to assist we must state the truths as we see them and ask the other being to take full responsibility for decisions made.
We can offer help and guidance, but ultimately we have to step back and let nature take its course, including the nature inside another being. That kind of letting go is as poignant and caring as Monroe’s action on behalf of his dying dog, and learning to let go in such a manner is a sign of true compassion.
Who are we to know the truth behind someone else’s karma? We can only guess. Unless it is our own karmic journey, we only have the outer truth available to us, and that may be very clear to us, though not at all to the other being. At such times, our only recourse may be to administer love, kindness, and compassion, and without attachment send that other being on their journey, into new life in whatever form that will take.
Sometimes love is enough, Jan
The episode with the dog is described in Robert Monroe’s book, Far Journeys.
In 2003, while in the process of a shamanic recapitulation, which I have written extensively about in my books as well as my blogs, I discovered something important. I knew that change would not happen, not even consciously-willed change, such as adopting new habits, if I didn’t completely rid myself of the root cause of my problems.
In recapitulation, we constantly reenter the center of who we are, facing our shadows and discovering our truths… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
As a practicing hypnotist I became well aware of this. A hypnotist cannot change anyone or anything. A hypnotist only makes suggestions as to how change may come about, but real change only comes from within. Too many times people look for a “quick fix,” but the truth is there are no quick fixes. Yes, there are plenty of techniques for achieving calmness and steadiness, techniques that provide relaxing effects, but longterm change requires patience and deep work on the self.
My discovery—that change can only happen if the root cause is eradicated—is not new, but when I discovered it for myself I felt as if I HAD discovered it. This is a phenomenon of deep inner work, as we tread into the territory of ancient knowledge where that which has not yet been revealed is revealed, as if for the very first time.
Anyone doing deep work has the opportunity to discover such phenomena, in a personally meaningful and pertinent way, making such experiences strikingly unique and helpful. Such phenomenal discoveries, if taken seriously and acted upon, have the possibility to become the great catalysts they portend to be, leading to real and lasting change.
During the recent Mercury Retrograde, which I know many people experienced in very potent ways, I entered the whirlwind of its energy too and barely had time to pause for breath. Confrontational circumstances arose repeatedly, old issues were revisited, changes occurred, and I was given the opportunity to discover a lot of things. How far have I really come? The lessons of this most recent Mercury retrograde were many. It was a good time for all of us to test what we’ve done with our lives and to perhaps discover that we really have changed and we will continue to change because we’re ready to do so.
In 2003, as I was recapitulating my childhood and discovering the root cause of all that plagued me then, Mercury was also retrograde, four times that year. For most of that year I simultaneously and repeatedly faced my deepest core issue: fear. I was afraid of everything, I discovered.
Like invasive vines, our core issues will not stop growing until we totally eradicate them! – Photo by Jan Ketchel
My challenge then was to face and release myself from the clutches of all-pervasive fear, completely eradicating it from my being, for I knew that to embrace any idea of change without that complete eradication was just a cover up, another avoidant behavior, many of which I was very skilled at. How could I truly change if I refused to change myself at the deepest level, if I continued to ignore that core issue? I knew that the intent to change, by itself, no matter how strong, wasn’t going to have any effect without complete and conscious eradication of what really controlled me.
I knew that eradication of the fear would also provide room for change. If I was no longer consumed by fear, I’d have energy for other things. To aid in that process, I envisioned making space inside my body. The absence of fear, I envisioned, would create enough room in my physical body to allow for the change I so desired. Until the fear was gone I was just pushing it around inside me, restocking it, re-encapsulating it in some other body part, not getting rid of it as I should. I also knew that if I continued that habit I would never be free of the pain that plagued my physical body.
Once I became aware of the reason for the fear, I could deal with it. At the time, I wondered: How can you tackle something you don’t know about? I knew I had to continue the deep work of recapitulation, the technique that was proving to be the answer to all my questions, if I was to discover the remaining mysteries of myself and my past. It was the path to knowing myself on the deepest level.
So, as I dove deeper into the recapitulation process and deeper into my inner world, my inner self, and my past, the deeper mysteries of who I was and what controlled me became very clear. At the time, I also knew that I had to find a new way to tackle the fear; not in the old way of holding it in and avoiding or running from it, but by facing it, getting the truth of it, and letting it release, without restriction, to flow out of my body once and for all.
It was the final stage of my shamanic recapitulation, to let go of everything that I held inside me, thinking that I needed it or that it served a purpose. I discovered that fear had no real purpose, it was just an old habit, and that it had a sneaky way of holding me back from fully living. Once I faced, resolved and released the many faces of fear, I advanced into a new reality and new life. In addition, the phenomenal discoveries that punctuated my deep inner work during my recapitulation have never ceased to visit, enlighten, and inspire me.
Everything comes in its own time; what we need and what we are ready for is revealed at the right time. I learned that during my recapitulation too; as difficult as many of my memories were to face, I truly was ready to confront and resolve them so that I could eradicate the fear that I had been bound in my entire life, that had me physically bound in pain and inertia. I discovered that fear was nothing more than a habit, that it only really existed because I was attached to it. Like worry, it was just another entity not worthy of my attention.
Eventually, we emerge, centered and happy… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
Our core issues come to challenge us. What frightens or bothers us generally will show up during times of change, whether change that we instigate or change forced upon us.
As we change and move forward in life, we are able to look back with the kind of clarity that a Mercury Retrograde brings, along with its dizzying energy of confrontation and recapitulation, so that we can come out of it having moved along to a new level on our journeys. As we turn back to look at the distance we’ve come, we notice that we really have changed, perhaps in small ways, perhaps in greater ways, but changed we are nonetheless!
In support, Jan
NOTE: Chuck wrote about a similar process a few weeks ago in his blog entitled: Face, Feel & Absorb
That dang bee would not leave us alone! – Photo by Jan Ketchel
Mercury Retrograde. Some people, when they hear that term, are immediately suspect, wary, and prone to morose depression. Mercury Retrograde means trouble!
Mechanical failures are rampant. The iPad won’t connect to the wifi. The car won’t start. A computer failure occurs. Bothersome memories flare up. Things left undone surface in gnarly and annoying ways.
On the other hand, I see Mercury Retrograde as a time of opportunity, offering very succinct and direct guidance on just what needs to be done right now! It is a time to complete unfinished business so that we can move on into new life. If we don’t do it we will never fully be able to move on.
That which we don’t complete remains attached forever; it WILL come back to haunt us. Why put ourselves into such a compromising position?
Retrogrades also offer us the opportunity to confront and discover our karmic challenges. Our karmic challenges, like unfinished business, return often throughout life, asking us to deal with them once and for all. To face, solve and resolve our issues is the only way we will be able to freely move on into new life, both in present reality and when we die and enter the bardos.
Will this be the life that we move on up the astral ladder? Or will we reincarnate into another life, playing out the same issues once again? It’s a choice we make during each lifetime, evolving a little more, completing a few more karmic issues each time. By the time we’ve lived several thousand lives, however, wouldn’t it be nice to go on to something entirely new?
Something is not quite clear… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
So, with another week of this current Mercury Retrograde still to go, I suggest taking a good look at what has been happening in your life to challenge you. Perhaps the failure of mechanical devices means you should not be using them; perhaps your addiction to your iPhone or Facebook is being challenged.
Perhaps your recapitulation is pushing you to go deeper as it brings up memories. Perhaps your body is telling you to take better care of it as it pains you or shows you some weakness. Perhaps your insistence on doing things your way and them not working out means you should relax and flow better with life. Perhaps old legal issues finding you many months or years later are letting you know they will not go away; that it’s time to finally deal with them.
To face what comes with maturity, to quickly respond, clears the air, clears the mind, clears the body to be ready for what comes next. Retrograde is a great time to learn the importance of taking care of daily business so that it does not follow you beyond its “sell by” date.
If we learn to deal with what comes, when it comes, we have learned one of the great lessons in life: We are only free of something when we take the time to attend to and fully complete what life challenges us with. If something is done right the first time, we will not have to do it again. And that is a karmic lesson too.
So, retrogrades offer us the opportunity to face something about ourselves and clear not only our issues but also to erase some of our karma, which is really the business, the work, of this life. Rather than continuing to sweep things under the bed, it’s time to take out the vacuum cleaner!
With a little work all will be revealed… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
And just so you have something to look forward to, this Mercury Retrograde, which is all about our personal issues, is being followed by a Venus Retrograde in late July, which will be all about our relationship issues.
And so, fresh opportunities for getting those relationships in good form are about to hit! Good Luck with that! But first finish the old business that is popping up now, so that you are free to fully experience what Venus has in mind for you!
Seeds planted long ago eventually bloom… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
Life Lesson #1:Everything is meaningful.
Why do things happen the way they do? Why must I do that, confront that, be that, act like that? Why do people get sick? Why do people suddenly die? Why is life so difficult? There is always a meaningful answer. Although it may not be apparent in the moment it will eventually reveal itself.
In a seed’s planting, in a stem’s growth, an eventual blooming will take place. Such are the reasons for the events in our lives. They are our growing lessons; every event, every happening, and every choice and challenge in life are fully meaningful in the long run. Like seeds planted long before we were ever aware, they signal the greater potential that is our birthright and our destiny.
Yes, there IS meaning in everything. Even if we can’t always find it immediately, it is far better to attach a reasonable meaning than to ignore the events in our lives as simply “life.” The idea that “that’s just the way life is” has never been enough of an explanation for me. I’ve always yearned for more, have always known that everything is meaningful and everything is important to my personal journey.
If we are to accept such an idea then we must also be willing to find the importance in everything that happens to us, to those we love, and to the world at large, for we are all interconnected. So, I propose that the first lessons in addressing the events of our lives as meaningful is to search for meaning, to apply meaning, and to patiently wait for meaning to reveal itself. It may take some time, but I’ve learned that eventually meaning will more fully come to light, blossoming will happen.
Sometimes meaning is very apparent, sometimes less so. Sometimes we might instantly see the meaning for others but find it much harder to apply to ourselves. I usually find that if I see the meaning for someone else then I stay there and apply the same meaning to myself. It works, at least to begin with, in helping to face something about the self or to confront emotions or feelings that have never been apparent, or in consciousness for some time.
Outcome may be hidden or unclear… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
To begin with I work with what comes, with first impressions. If nothing comes, if I just cannot find meaning for myself, I apply something that makes sense with where I am and what is happening in my life.
“Oh, this might mean this or that.” And then I wait. But in the meantime I work with what “might” be true. Like a light shining into a dark tunnel it does eventually bring me a bit closer to clarity on the personal meaning of something.
A search for meaning is a bit like working with a dream. Trying to find the meaning of the symbology in a dream, aligning it with what is actually going on in our personal lives is always beneficial. Dreams aid and support our ever-changing lives, giving us insight into aspects of ourselves that need clarification, or revealing that which has been unattainable in waking life. Dreams can also give us direct and profoundly meaningful answers straight up, without the mysterious symbology that we might often encounter. Dream helpers can be very direct!
In applying meaning where none may be apparent, stay focused on where you are in your life, what’s happening inside of you and outside of you. Don’t necessarily “make up” a meaning, but try to apply meaning according to what makes sense and what you might be envisioning, or what you’ve already learned about yourself and how you generally approach life.
For instance, I can sometimes let things slide. I am fully aware that I’m doing so, putting off something that should be done. Part of me knows that I’m being avoidant, an old habit, even if ever so slightly, but there is another part of me that senses it might not be the right time to approach or do something, and so I wait. I might not have full awareness of this other part that is waiting, or why it is doing so, but the avoidant “waiting” behavior may be just the hint I need. “Don’t act now!” that part may be saying, however subliminally. At the same time I must address the dilemma: Am I just falling into an old habit? Or is this the new me telling me to wait because waiting will have a favorable outcome?
It is often a precarious approach, waiting itself offering challenges, and I never let really important things slide. I pay my bills, confront my personal issues, and face what I must during the daily ups and downs of life. At the same time there are other processes in my psyche and in my life that I just can’t ignore, and I guess that’s what I’m attempting to pass on in this blog: Don’t ignore anything because everything is meaningful, whether hidden or clearly apparent.
To find meaning in everything is a bit of an adventure. Enlightenment may come in the very process of sitting and pondering that which might be trying to get our attention. Outcome of sitting in internal pondering is like outcome of life: eventually clarity does come.
Eventually all will be revealed… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
There is great value in intentionally sitting and pondering, in training the self to be aware and to constantly seek personal meaning, no matter what one is confronted with. Why am I put in this position now, at this time in my life? What must I learn right now? Being aware that life is always trying to teach us something is an important aspect of the search for meaning. For why otherwise are we here, if not to learn and grow beyond this reality and this human condition that we find ourselves steeped in?
As life’s lessons are faced, we become more available to notice and benefit from everything that happens to us. Each time clarity comes and new meaning is discovered a new lesson is learned and a new opportunity opens up for us too. And then all of life’s lessons become meaningfully part of the greater whole of our personal journey. And then we evolve too! So remember Lesson #1 as you take your own changing journey: Everything is personally meaningful!
Good Luck in your own quest for a meaningful life! Jan
