Tag Archives: inner work

A Day in a Life: Poison Ivy As A Mindfulness Practice

We can’t stop nature from doing what it will and so we must learn to flow with it, to take action to protect ourselves within our knowledge of how nature works. On the other hand, we are responsible for what is happening in nature now. Although we are not directly responsible for thunderstorms, lightning strikes, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, etc., there is plenty that we, the human race, have, by our very existence, altered forever on this planet. One of those things is poison ivy.

Leaves of three, let it be...

Several years ago, I heard a report on NPR about the proliferation of a new strain of poison ivy. This strain, I heard, was more potent than the kind of poison ivy I remember as a kid. This new strain of poison ivy grew into trees, as tall as six or ten feet, and it could kill. Now that was alarming to hear!

Having grown up in a rural environment, I learned early what poison ivy looked like. I knew its reddish hue in the spring meant beware, and I also knew that its bright green leaves later in the summer meant stay away. I had an eye for identifying plants early in life—it was just a knack. I knew to stay away from the flowers and berries of deadly nightshade from the time I was small and I’d often warn my friends that something was dangerous without even knowing how I knew it. I’d thought about becoming a botanist at one time, so fond and curious was I of what grew around me. Instead I became an illustrator and did, on many an occasion, get to draw the intricacies of the plant world for one book or magazine article or another.

If I got poison ivy, it was normally a minimal rash, easily dealt with. I never got covered like some people. I didn’t seem especially allergic to it, though I knew not to fool with it either, not to rub it or scratch, but to wash the oils off as soon as possible and let it dry out. I’d cover it with calamine and let it be and before long it would dry up without too much discomfort. I remember as a little kid having it on my face and at the time I just could not help but scratch, and boy did I suffer, but that also taught me a lesson. After that I learned to bear the tension of the itch and just get through the pain that nature itself had inflicted on me, knowing that it would soon be gone. That being said, even I was recently fooled.

One morning, Chuck and I were sitting in the yard enjoying a cup of coffee when I felt an itch. Thinking a bug was crawling up my arm, I lifted my sleeve to discover that my entire arm was covered in an ugly rash. “Oh my, look at that! Poison ivy! Where did that come from? I’m usually so careful!” I said. By the afternoon it had spread. Another, less vicious looking rash showed up on my other arm, my stomach broke out in angry red spots. Later an itch on the back of my neck showed up, another behind my ear, and was that one by my eye too? Suffice it to say, I had a bad case of poison ivy.

“This is exactly what I’d heard about years ago,” I said to Chuck, “poison ivy in a new, especially toxic strain, and it looks like I have it!”

Poison ivy: Global warming in our own backyard...

In reading up on that new strain of poison ivy, I note that in the few years since I first heard about it, its notoriety has spread along with it. Now it’s certain that we are largely responsible for this new potent strain of poison ivy, and there is no longer just one new potent strain, but many. The vines are rapidly spreading and the resulting contact itch much more difficult to treat.

With global warming has come an increase in carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, a trapped greenhouse gas that is especially well liked by vines, especially the two that we see in the Northeast: Virginia creeper and poison ivy. That’s another thing I noticed not long ago. When I was a kid, Virginia creeper did just that, it crept along the ground, the floor of the forests covered with it, but I rarely saw it climbing trees the way it does now. Now both Virginia creeper and poison ivy, along with a host of other carbon dioxide-loving vines, are climbing higher and higher, overtaking other vegetation, seriously affecting the survival of our forests. Apparently this new poison ivy—that is rapidly inhaling our humanly-induced increase in carbon dioxide—carries a more toxic form of urushiol, the oil that causes the pesky itch.

As soon as I saw how quickly the rash was spreading, I knew I was in trouble. This was no ordinary case of poison ivy, this is what I saw on other people who were highly allergic, this was serious. I took immediate action. Changing my clothes, showering, and dousing myself with calamine and taking homeopathic rhus-tox were the first steps. Careful not to aggravate it, I let the rash air dry as much as possible, but it got worse. And then it got even worse. Now covered in angry blisters, I constantly had to fight the urge to scratch.

Now, anyone who has had poison ivy knows that there is nothing more satisfying than giving in to the urge to scratch away. Boy does that feel good! On the other hand, no amount of scratching will ever relieve the suffering, as scratching only spreads the rash and calls for yet more scratching.

The urge to scratch...boy does that feel good...

I found some relief in showering frequently, vicariously experiencing itch relief by letting the hot spiky water from the shower head do the scratching for me. I soon found that this was not a good idea, the heat of the water actually opening my pores to more of the poison. I knew I had to “grin and bear it,” as they say. I would not scratch in any way. I would use the itchiness to go into stillness. And so began my week of deepening my mindfulness practice, with poison ivy as my guide. In so doing, I learned something new about myself and each time I learned something new I took it deeper, intent on learning something else, not only about myself, but also about the greater world that I live in.

I’d wake up at night itchy. Surely a tiny little scratch here or there won’t hurt? Don’t do it! Bear the tension. Let it be. Go into meditation. Go beyond the skin. Go deeper inside. I will not scratch because I do not itch. I do not feel itchy at all. I am the Buddha. Flies are landing on my face and yet I do not flinch. I am the Buddha. Mosquitoes are buzzing in my eyes and yet I simply ignore them. I do not give them any energy. I am the Buddha. The snake is coming closer in the grass and yet I am not afraid. I sit in stillness and I disappear. I am the Buddha. In stillness I do not exist in this body. I am merely energy and thus the sensations of this body are meaningless. I can let them go.

I gradually leave my itchy body behind as I do this mindfulness practice, successfully removing myself from it enough as the night goes on that eventually I don’t attach. In the morning I wake up tired, but I have succeeded in avoiding the deathtrap, the itchiness that invites me to partake in the vicious cycle of relief and more agony, relief and more agony. I avoid the cycle of samsara, suffering, for one more night. And I must continue this practice during the day as well. I must not lift my hand to scratch behind my ear. I am the Buddha. I must leave my hand down, sit with the sensation, detaching from it, cooling it with my thoughts at the same time that I seek external remedies for my suffering.

Like the Buddha I must suffer through the onslaughts...

I suffer through five days of extreme discomfort before the rash subsides. Chuck looks at it one day and declares it done. I’ve conquered it. There is still an occasional itchiness, but the blisters have dried, the redness has diminished, the spread halted. I have learned what it means to suffer through an onslaught of nature, a manmade disaster as I now see it, and I hope that others may come through such an attack in good form too.

My mindfulness practice with poison ivy as my guide led me many places, to many journeys within and without, to greater understanding and acceptance of my role as a user on this planet. The world is changing and we are largely responsible for many of these changes. That is clear to me now. Every one of us, by our very breathing, effect and are affected by these changes. Whether it’s a bad case of poison ivy or a nuclear disaster like Fukushima, we are all part of the problem and we will all suffer, our bodies especially.

I had to ask some hard questions. So, how are we going to handle the inevitable crisis we have inflicted on ourselves? Are we going to make it worse by scratching and complaining about others, about the poisons put into our atmosphere by others? It’s easy to give up, to indulge in bad behaviors, to wallow in self-pity and to blame. It’s much harder to take full responsibility and change ourselves.

The challenge we face now is to accept what our human greed has done and—in full knowledge of our personal participation in the disasters we create and continue to create—take everything to a new level. We must accept our human limitations and work to deepen our connection to our energetic selves, personally and as an interconnected species, taking everything far beyond the human energy that we so value and indulge in to a greater understanding of our energy as no different than that of the fly or the mosquito that pesters us. We are all life’s energy having experiences here on earth.

Everyday now, I accept that I am part of the changing world. My mindfulness practice has deepened my awareness of what it means that I live here too, that I impact everything too. I too have poisoned the fish in the ocean. I too have dirtied the waters and contaminated the soil. I too have contributed to the greenhouse gases. I too am responsible for the wars and the terrible massacres that are happening around the globe. I too am an abuser. I too am greedy. I too am an addict.

I cannot change what has happened. It has already happened. The only thing I can do now is, from this moment on, make a decision to live my life differently, with awareness and mindfulness, committed to making better personal choices. The time of change is now. 2012 is upon us and, by the potent state of things, has been for a long time. Are we going to stay splintered, unaccepting of our personal human role in all of this that we have created? Or are we going to each individually take the next step to deepening our interconnected awareness and really changing ourselves so that we may change our world too? That’s the only challenge I see ahead of us now.

The earth will survive, but I don’t think we, as a species, will—unless we take some drastic measures to insure that our planet will be able to support us. With even the most basic requirements of air and water in jeopardy, let alone everything else we need to survive in even the most primitive conditions, how do we expect to evolve as a species?

I challenge myself to constantly create better balance in my own life while seeking to live in greater harmony with the world I find myself in.

In humbleness,
Jan

Readers of Infinity: Excavate The True Self

Here is a message from Jeanne:

Reject the old stale ideas of self...

Live for yourself now. Pull your attention away from others—from the energy of old and stale lives, from the judgments and criticisms of your past—and more fully embrace a new you, distinctly different, unique, and fully capable of growing beyond where you now find yourself.

When I speak of growth, it is personal growth, in the direction of deep inner work that I mean. This must be the main focus in an evolutionary life. All of you, whether you feel inhibited by circumstances or not, are fully capable of resolving your inner conflicts and reaching a place of progressive contentment, finding yourselves upon a path of eternal growth.

Inner conflict resolution involves setting the intent to set the spirit self free, the self that has had to sit below the surface of life’s experiences, for the most part, pushed down by others and yet waiting for its moment to live, constantly attempting to get your attention. This is not an immature self, not a big baby self who just wants to live without restriction; no, this is a most mature and knowing self, calm and flowing.

This is a good week to reconnect with that deeply stirring spirit self, the true self that seeks life. The process of inner work is really quite simple if you pare it down to this one goal: to excavate the true self.

Do this by sifting through all that is not you, by refusing to accept beliefs and ideas that do not truly resonate. What do you truly believe about the self and the life you desire? Are you ready to break through the old crusts of discourse, mind control, and the dissonant waves of conflict that have imprisoned you, and really allow your spirit to live, even a little? Who says you can’t?

Begin slowly, by questioning everything as you go about your days. Ask for clarification on what comes to you from both outside and inside. Is this I or is this Not I? In this manner, adding awareness of how the body, heart, and true mind respond, you will be guided to making some changes in your lives that are right for YOU, My Dear Ones.

Take it one step at a time, letting each day unfold, but with a little effort on your part too. Meeting the spirit self that is stirring inside you, one-on-one, will greatly aid your progress.

What have you recently encountered or learned that is laying out your next step?

There is always a new path to take...

As always, I say there will be no change, no progress, if you do not participate! This may take some discipline, but, really, all you need to do is begin by being proactive on your own behalf. However, listen to the answers that come from inside the self this time, rather than the old answers constantly repeating and reverberating from elsewhere, for they are merely confining you, the old guard that hold no new life. Give the self a new positive mantra, confrontational and challenging, yet utterly true.

Capture some new ideas about the self this week and put them into action; try them on for size and see how you feel. What do you have to lose? Nothing important really, I propose, but you do stand to gain immeasurably!

One step at a time, aware of each moment, aware of deep inner self and knowing what is right, make your way toward a new YOU!

Thank you, Jeanne, and yes, one step at a time, with humbleness, I too make my way. Thanks for reading and being part of this unfolding journey! If this is possible, then what else?

Love,
Jan

Readers of Infinity: Fresh Intent

Today I asked Jeanne and our multitudes of guides in infinity for a message of guidance for the coming week. Here is the response:

See the world differently today...

Do not fear what holds you always in dread, for it is nothing but the grip of that world, the mundane come to greet you with its overwhelming presence, mere cogitation, come to lead you on your personal journey, invited by your spirit’s need for life and expression.

Take on the request of your spirit for constant change and new life. Begin by dismantling the outer world. Take down its walls and wash away its fears. Excavate its messages of old and open your doors and windows to the fresh air of new intent.

And how do you do that so it has impact? You release the old, oft-repeated phrases to something new today, something life giving and inviting. Offer the self new life simply by changing the words you speak in mind and body language. Speak new words to the self today, tender and loving words, gentle words as soft as water, yet with the strong intent to break down the old hard words, the regretful, resentful words that hold you bitter and angry.

Change your words inside your own mind and then in your world. Look at your thoughts that come so quickly. Dismiss the old ones that appear to thwart you, asking you to walk the same path again, the same boring, frightening, habitually well-worn path of old. Make new thoughts a priority and they will come, even more easily as time goes on and you make room for them in your psyche.

Take on new eyes of seeing today as well. See the world with different eyes and the self too. Notice that what at first appears to you is not really true. Look again and again, and eventually you will see the truth. Once revealed and perceived as such, it will be difficult to return to the old way of seeing and perceiving yourself, your life, and the world around you.

Set your intent for change. Intend inner change through thought, word, and vision, and then watch the old world—once created by you and your circumstances—disappear and a new world appear. Listen differently too. Be aware, as you set your intent to be different in mind and body today, that your spirit will greet you with open arms.

“Come,” it will say, “let’s have a different experience today. Let’s find new life where we live. I will show you the way.”

See the beauty in where you are...

Stay soft and open, calm and patient, aware that you are setting the intent to change the self, inside and then outside. It’s all you need in order to change your life. Change your inner dialogue, change your outlook, change your life.

My most humble thanks to Jeanne and Infinity for today’s message! Have a great, new week of change!

Jan

A Day in a Life: After Recapitulation

“After recapitulating there is only NOW,” as Taisha Abelar was quoted as saying in a lecture.* I see this as being present in the moment, with no need to go back. No old and powerful fears or horrors exist in the shadows of the psyche. With the deeper unknowns of the self revealed and resolved there is no unfinished business. No questions remain. They have all been answered.

We are all composed of light and shadow selves...

Being present NOW, means that should fears arise, they are recognized simply as signals to experience something deeper about the self. We notice that they no longer hold as much power as they once did because we have taken their energy from them, reclaimed it for ourselves, and are using it differently now. Rather than getting caught up in fear as a paralyzing entity we now face it as a curiosity, deal with it quickly and succinctly, seeing it clearly for what it is.

After recapitulation, fears become gentle reminders that we must keep ourselves in good balance, spirit self and human self in balance. We must be vigilant and attentive to our onward journey, which means we must always do inner work while we continue to navigate through life. As we constantly attend to our fears, we anchor deeper in who we really are NOW. In realigning with the fully known self, we are ready to continue on into the next moment without attachment.

That’s the other thing that becomes clearer after recapitulation, what it means to be without attachment. Attachments signal that we are out of balance, needy, desiring of things of this world, but in reality our spirit knows otherwise. When we are in balance the voice of our spirit is clearer, our neediness and desires lose their powers, and we are free to be present in the moment, experiencing NOW.

After recapitulation the world is still inviting. We are still presented with the constant invitation to live and experience life to the fullest. But being present NOW means that we have honed our awareness to be more fully open to life and where it takes us than ever before. Awareness keeps us alert, making sure that we navigate life in a new way, conducive to our new self. We are available in a different, mature way. With our spirit carefully guiding us, our path of heart revealed and embraced, we are eager for new experiences in life. Yet even as we flow, we are equally ready to stop and investigate ourselves, closely and deeply, for we know that this is what we must do to make the right choices, to take right action, to remain in alignment, and to keep growing and changing.

There is always the opportunity to do deep inner work. It is what we are all challenged with, whether we plan for it or not, and our spirits will not let us rest until we take up that challenge. How often have we heard of someone being restless though they appear to have everything that they could possibly need for a happy life? How often do we know we should be happy, yet we just cannot settle where we are? Why are we always so miserable, so angry, so scared, feeling so hopeless and worthless? Why do we still feel so restless when we are so accomplished, so successful, living such perfect lives?

These visitors to our yard seem to be asking each other, "Are you ready to take the journey?"

Once we ask our spirit to take over, we realize there is no other route to true, honest fulfillment than the path our spirit will lead us along. We might even discover that we are already on the path of our spirit, that we have been on it all along, but for some reason we have been reluctant, caught in habitual behaviors, unaware, or just too angry and bitter to see it clearly. Most likely we have been ignorant of our spirit’s true intent, for in reality its intent will not be revealed until we have aligned with it.

In challenging ourselves to take the inner journey, we set a precedence. It takes work, but once the most pressing aspects of the recapitulation journey are faced our fears diminish, our balanced self releases to live more fully in the moment, experiencing the energy of NOW, and the world changes; it greets us differently each day. Different ourselves, we wake up one morning and discover that the world has changed with us. Isn’t that what we all want and need, a changed self and a changed world?

After recapitulation the changed world keeps changing, every day, because there is only NOW, and each moment is new. That changed world begins within.

Taking the inner journey, humbly offering encouragement to take it too, for it leads to truth and love,

Jan

*Note: From a lecture in Pasadena, October 10, 1992, as reported in The Nagualist.

Readers of Infinity: Deeper & Wiser

Here is a message from Jeanne:

Keep your eyes open and be aware. On all levels of consciousness keep a keen eye always alert for traps and tricks, for the energy of now is fraught with interruptions and disturbances to normal routines and dynamics. This does not mean that anything bad will happen, but it does mean that the opportunity for deep work will arise as issues of personal importance emerge, re-emerge, and play out.

Though imagined long-digested and put to rest, old issues have a way of resurfacing out of the past and presenting themselves over and over again. “Why,” you might ask, “must I do this again?” Well, My Dears, the answer is simple: this is one of your core issues in this lifetime to learn from, and since learning is part of life, you must accept what comes to teach you how to grow deeper and wiser.

Growing deeper and wiser is most important, for in tackling your personal issues you offer the energy of such change-enhancing inner work to surround you and impact your world. If everyone were only intent on growing deeper and wiser, the world would be quite a different place.

Nesting time is inner work time too...

Encourage such inner work by doing it, by not being afraid of the change that is being pushed upon you personally by that which comes from without. Taking full responsibility for the self, go inward and seek out the answers to the questions you ask of others. Go inward; go deeper and grow wiser each visit you make to your inner world. Go with no restrictions or rules, no judgments or criticisms, no blame or self-doubt, without fear and anger, but with openness and availability so that you may greet your truths with fairness and honesty.

Do not be afraid of your truths, though they may shake your beliefs and your foundations of self, for, in truth, this is exactly what you want to happen. You want your foundations to crumble so that purity of self may be revealed, so that innocence and ancient self may become acceptable without the interference of the strictly constructed and defined outer world that you are so attached to.

When doing deep inner work, leave the trappings of the outer world aside, safe and known though they may be. Push them constantly away as you open your mind to the ancient wisdom you all carry inside. Grow deeper and wiser at each step of exploration, at each step you take away from the outer self, as you leave behind who you are in the world, if only for a few minutes, and explore a self totally freed of all worldly expectations and habitual behaviors placed on you by self and other. In freedom, explore infinity inside you, waiting eagerly just below the crusty surface of outer self.

Inner self is not very far away. It sits patiently waiting just below the outer shell you present to the world each day. Let it speak as you explore deeper inside the true self, growing wiser at each step. Let it live outwardly in the world one step at a time too, a deeper and wiser self who accepts life and all it brings as necessary—challenging though it may be—but also accepting it as exciting and invigorating, aware that it always brings the prospect of new life.

Life awaits each day as a new journey begins. Where will your journey take you next?

Most humbly channeled by Jan Ketchel.