Tag Archives: detachment

Messages from Jeanne

#674 Three Levels of Detachment Reaction

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Today, I ask for guidance for all your readers, those we know and those we don’t know, for those who are near and those who are far, for anyone who might happen to stray upon our work in the course of searching for meaning in life. What message do you offer all of us, as we continue our journeys upon this earth?

My Dearest Ones, do not hesitate to fully embrace who you are, the inner you but also the outer you. The life long process to achieve balance and depth must include both aspects of self. To reject one aspect of self over another is to invite derision and conflict into the journey. The process of inner work involves enough conflict and derision without projecting and rejecting parts of the self. The greater process is one of acceptance, mergence, and wholeness. The ultimate journey upon that earth is one of acquiescence, for you cannot stop life’s unfolding. You cannot call a halt to the facts of your being, of your physical self or your conscious engagement in the world, but you can gain inner peace, balance, and reach a depth of study of self that will lead to detachment, acceptance and acquiescence.

If you consider the facts of your life, you will admit that they happened. Can you deny that you were born and have lived, thus far, all that you have lived? You also cannot deny that you will continue to have the process of life unfolding in your future. In some form or another your life will unfold. You will wake up each day and be presented with who you are, what you have done, and what you will do next. You will either find your process acceptable or you will fight it. Those are the two basic choices you are presented with as each day unfolds.

Your decision to fight your life process will present you with certain challenges, and your decision to accept it will present you with another set of challenges, even though the circumstances of your life will be the same. You see what I am getting at? Your life will unfold as it will. It will be the same whether you fight it or accept it, but you are fully in charge of how you decide to meet it. Do you choose to meet your next day with anger, regret, hostility, or sadness, or other such debilitating energy drains? Or do you elect to accept, learn, and move on with a new attitude about the self, firmly accepting of your inner process to lead you beyond the immediate reactions you have to your self and the events in your life?

Wow, I guess I find that statement somewhat judgmental on your part, as well as challenging, Jeanne. We have to experience all those debilitating energy drains too, don’t we?

Yes, my Dear One. As you know I have said many times that one must be where one must be, but today, I am asking you to challenge the self to try something different in order to push the limits of your abilities, to go beyond the normal process that may have become stagnant. So bear with me as we proceed on this unfolding process. Okay?

Yes, I acquiesce to this unfolding process. Keep going with your message.

You see, what I challenge you with today is to go beyond your immediate reactions to the self and others, to your circumstances and your current position in life and to accept that this is life unfolding, to accept that you cannot stop what has happened, but you can change how you react. And this is an evolutionary growth step.

To take a step forward it is often quite reasonable to first take a step back from the self, to step aside and view the self as an unfamiliar object. If you can allow the self to do this, I ask that you stand aside and look over at that self you are at this moment and note your immediate reactions. What do you feel, see, interpret, as you honestly look at the self? What are your first impressions? Write them down in one column labeled: First Level Reactions.

Next, I request that you calm your self with some heart-centered breathing. Take a few minutes to do some calming breaths and then look at the self standing over there from this softer heart-centered place. In a column titled Second Level Reactions jot down what you notice about that self now, allowing your detached heart-centered self to truthfully note feelings, reactions and truths.

Now, I ask you to go another level into the self and into detachment for self at the same time. Going deeper into calm heart-centered breathing ask the self what is needed to move beyond this moment. Ask the inner self to ask that self standing over there to tell you what you truly need in order to become acceptable so that you may choose to react to life differently. Write down what you hear being spoken in a third column called: Deeper Level Reactions.

These three columns of words are your truths of this moment, of this day, of this time in your life. They may be different tomorrow or in the future, but for this moment they are the truths of the self. Now comes the challenging part. As you look at the truths of self that you have written down, I ask that you do not attach to them as either good or bad, but simply accept them. These are things that are true, and truths are just that: the truth.

To process these truths, to accept them without judgment and without attachment, one must now decide what comes next. What must you do to change something that is keeping you from enjoying your life? What must you do to accept that truth that bothers you so much? What must you do so that your reactions to the truths of the self may be no reaction at all, except: Yes, it is so. This is my truth. I accept these facts of self without attachment to emotional reactions such as anger, sadness, regret, self-pity or horror. I accept these aspects of self.

The next step is to send out a request, an intent for help and guidance in one form or another, perhaps in this prayer: And now I desire change. I ask: Please allow me to take my journey each day, allowing me to accept who I am, and help me to challenge myself to change. Help me to detach from the old, having fully accepted the old me, knowing that in order to grow I must change. This I desire.

By setting the self on a daily path of change, with acceptance and acquiescence as part of the plan of attack, you will, undoubtedly My Dears, discover that you are fully equipped, within the self, to learn self-detachment, self-acceptance, and to teach the self how to move beyond the old self who holds you from your promise. And what is your promise? It is fully acquiescing to the fact that you are a being comprised of energy. You are deeper and more daring than you know. Until you detach from the old ideas of self, and dare to interact with the inevitable truths of the self, you will only brush up against the true promise you hold within.

Today, I dare you all, My Dear Readers, to stand apart from who you think you are. Gain a little perspective, then gain a little detachment, then gain a little insight to take you on the next step with a different attitude about the self, remaining fully aware of all that you are. You are you, and that is the truth. But now, what are you going to do with your self? You can’t stay there, can you?

Is there something still missing? That is what you seek. What is missing from your process that has not allowed you to fully embrace your wholeness, your compassionate, true self? What is keeping you from moving, every day, toward discovering your true promise?

NOTE: At three in the morning I heard two owls calling to each other. The call of the barred owl is quite distinct, eerily haunting and magical at the same time, visceral and grittily predatory while at the same time stirringly beautiful. Whenever I hear the owl calling I always feel the presence of the dark side and the light side at the same time. The call of the owl always makes me wonder: What is to come? From Animal Speak Ted Andrews writes that the owl presents us with the mystery of magic, omens, silent wisdom and vision at night. Owl symbolizes the feminine, the moon, the night. It is associated with healing, fertility, seduction. It is the bird of magic and darkness, prophecy and wisdom. Owl is able to extract secrets. With its acute vision and hearing it is related to seeing the truth. Owls have secret knowledge to share: they get to the truth. As I read through the interpretations of Owl in Animal Speak I saw the synchronicity of my nighttime visitor and Jeanne’s message today. She is asking us to be our own Owl, to use owl medicine, so to speak, to reach into our deeper darker selves and, using our clairvoyance and truth-seeking detached selves, reveal our truths and work with them. Look into our souls and face our truths. This is our challenge this week and we have the energy of Owl accompanying us. -Jan

Chuck's Blog

# 673 Chuck’s Place: Thank You Petty Tyrants!

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Why are we here? One thing is certain: our time is limited. Our life here is only a visit. In the end, we must leave on what the shamans of ancient Mexico call, our definitive journey.

Unlike other journeys we may take in this world, in preparation for our definitive journey there are no bags to pack and only one appointment to keep, our appointment with death. At that appointment we are required to relinquish our bodies and our attachment to all things material as we enter the unknown in pure energetic form.

Throughout their physical lives shamans enter their energy bodies and take journeys into infinity. Upon returning they report that, though they discover amazing things on these journeys, the true preparation for facing the unknown is in this world, in the form of our encounters with petty tyrants. One major reason for our being in this world is, as I see it, to encounter and master our petty tyrants, the true proving ground for our definitive journey in infinity upon dying.

Petty tyrants can be defined as anything in this world that interrupts or shatters our expectations. Examples may include a crying baby that won’t allow us to sleep, a defiant teenager, an unloving parent, an exploitive boss, a ruthless ex-spouse, a rejecting lover, a condescending partner, a prejudiced teacher, a violent psychopath who physically or sexually abuses, etc. Petty tyrants can also come in the form of natural or unnatural disasters such as earthquakes and wars. In fact, the examples are endless and range from annoying everyday interactions to traumatic experiences. Petty tyrants are not fair, they don’t play by the rules; they devastate us, they use and abuse us, they take what they want, they destroy what they want. Our experiences of petty tyrants force us to relinquish our expectations of common decency, respect, love, or basic entitlements. Although these expectations may be our preferences in this world, they are, by far, not the true nature of reality, which is unpredictable. When faced with a petty tyrant we are thrust into a completely unpredictable, uncontrollable reality where anything can happen, anything goes.

Shamans say that our encounters with petty tyrants provide us with the necessary training to face the true nature of energetic reality; this is our destiny, this is why we are here. Energetic reality is fluid, ever changing. To maintain cohesion in energetic reality we must be able to flow without requirements, that is, preconceived expectations. Petty tyrants force us out of our world into the unknown. If we refuse to accept the unknown and choose instead to cling to our expectations of reality then we are not prepared for our definitive journey. If we insist upon a world that conforms to our expectations, we are not ready to enter the unknown. The Buddhists point out that if we cannot detach from our expectations upon dying, we must re-materialize; that is, reincarnate in the material world for more classes on detachment, with our petty tyrants as teachers. In fact, petty tyrants are our greatest teachers in this world.

The process of mastering our petty tyrants requires that we recapitulate. In recapitulation we face, squarely, all our experiences in life, releasing any attachment to them in the form of anger, resentment, fear, regret, hatred, sadness, self-pity, etc. Staying attached to unfairness, for example, would keep us attached to a predictable world that follows the rules. As long as we hold to the position that we are undeserving of the petty tyrants in our lives we remain deeply attached to creating our own world, a world of illusions, what the Buddhists call maya. Through recapitulation we arrive at a place of complete neutrality toward all our petty tyrants. We let go of any sense of being special or deserving of anything, we simply accept all the experiences in our lives as part of the journey, without judgment. Experiences are simply facts, they happened. With recapitulation we are released to completely let them go, with appreciation for lessons learned. We arrive at a place of readiness to enter an unpredictable world, our tyrants having prepared us well!

When we arrive at the place of utter neutrality, what the shamans call the place of no pity, we are offered the opportunity to thank our petty tyrants for journeying with us and preparing us for our final appointment with death, as we embark upon our definitive journey in infinity.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

Messages from Jeanne

#659 Learning Detachment

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Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Today is Monday and we begin a new busy workweek. Although we are still in the middle of winter, spring is in the air. Over the weekend we awoke each morning to the songs of the birds and a small flock of bluebirds came by to inspect the bluebird house we have in our yard. The sun is just beginning to rise as I write this, touching the tree branches with its pink light.

During the night, I dreamed of setting intents and then detaching from them, both for others and then for myself. In my dream, you could purchase and send an intent to the universe regarding another person through Amazon. For instance, you could send intentions for the journey of another, such as intending that they be able to read the signs being offered and aware enough to be able to follow them. Then the sender could purchase their own intent to detach from that person’s choices, to let that person go with the intentions firmly set, but freed of attachment to worry about what the person would do with that intent. It was about being able to fully send another off onto their own journey while also being able to detach one’s own energy from even that intent.

I do know that learning to detach is a very big part of not only doing a recapitulation, but also of life in general, that learning what detachment really means is essential if we are to allow ourselves, and others in our lives, to truly take our personal journeys. Can you talk about the process of detachment again today?

The process of learning what detachment truly means as you progress in life upon that earth is indeed essential. Detachment comes only through experience, through the processes in life that show one how vital and important it really is to step back and allow another to take the journey that they must. However, detachment for self is perhaps the most essential process to accept and allow for. To learn to offer the self protection and private energy, in order to take one’s own journey, may not be easy, especially if one is responsible for many others in life.

It is essential to live your lives as responsible citizens, to make choices and decisions that are caring and mature, that do not leave others behind in the dust, so to speak, until it is time to do so. For there comes a time in every life when choices must be made to move on. In moving on, in making a decision to move on in one’s personal journey, it is inevitable that others may fall behind.

Decisions around family must be made in a mature manner. As your children grow out of your arms, they must discover the world on their own terms. Fully provided by your attention to their growth may they be well prepared for life as adults. Parents must allow their children to take on life, to begin to make choices and to learn what it truly means to be functioning human beings, separate from the parents and the family. Families must allow for the truth of separation and departure, for all must leave the nest.

As you speak of the return of the bluebirds, My Dear Jan, so is this a good example of growth and detachment, as eventually the fledglings will, each year, leave the family nest. The parents, after providing nourishment and housing, will leave the young to discover the world. Using their innate instinctual energy the bluebirds will separate and each take wing to whatever fate awaits. Although the birds do not assign deeper attachment to each other, as humans do, they nonetheless energetically portray valuable traits for comparison.

Their intent each spring is ingrained: to reproduce, to nurture, and then to separate, each bird fully provided and fully ready to take on life. Even though flocks may stay together there is no specialness among the individual birds, all must carry their own weight and follow their instinctual path. Many acts of kindness, and presence of one to another, is still acted out among the bird species, though I express, once again, that specialness of treatment due to family is no longer apparent once the nesting time has been completed. I wish to use this fact as a metaphor for a brief lesson in detachment.

What you are talking about today really ties in with Chuck’s blog on Saturday about the family archetypes and how we all must take our individual journeys.

Yes, the individual journey is what I stress as underlying all of this, for only in realizing the personal journey will one have reason for learning about detachment and be able to offer the self the opportunity to learn what it truly means. Detachment is often misunderstood as neglect or dismissal of another, though this is far from the case. Detachment is in fact the most considerate, compassionate, and loving of actions one can take when one is ready. For in the process of true detachment one has fully understood the meaning of a personal journey; one has fully grasped that each person upon that earth arrives fully loaded with life’s challenges that are ready to be explored and lived in order for that individual to evolve.

If one can arrive at the understanding that life is repeated until the evolutionary track is attained, then one can better understand the need for detachment. If one can gain an understanding of individual energy and the energetic necessities of the individual, as separate from all others, one may attain clarity on the meaning of life as an evolutionary journey. Many times, I have stated that life is a journey, that each person upon that earth has a personal journey to take and that each person has individual challenges that no other can attend to, especially once that person has reached adulthood and often before, depending upon circumstances. Each person has a childhood journey, as well, that is separate from the family, even though the family may be deeply involved. For all upon that earth take an inner journey, known only to that individual, while they simultaneously take the family journey or a collective journey of one sort or another.

Detachment is associated with the journey of the individual. It is a process of taking steps toward owning that individual journey, toward allowing the self to take it, but also to recognizing that all others are offered the same opportunity. All are offered moments of awakening. Although you each may see and recognize your own awakening, do you dare to proceed in the direction of your awakening? Do you see the awakenings others are offered too? And do you wish for them to take the necessary steps of change being shown?

It is quite challenging to take the awakening journey, is it not? All are challenged throughout life to take up the process of individuation. How many times have you personally been challenged? And how many times have you rejected the call? How long did it take before you finally accepted the fact that you would not progress in life until you finally made the move your self, alone, and because it was finally the right road for you to take? How many times do you look upon another with despair at the choices being made? But who truly has made the proper choices at all times? All must stumble through life and learn, in the process, what the meaning of their personal journey is. But how can they do that if they do not take up all the challenges that they must? How can anyone evolve if they do not live out the life they must?

These questions are meant to allow for an understanding of the individual journey as well as the responsibility that each individual has to take that journey. Turn to the self now and ask: Have I truly taken up the challenges of my own personal, individual journey? Am I learning what I must learn about the self, innerly and outerly? Am I taking the deeper journey?

In taking the deeper journey, the ideas of detachment and evolutionary growth will become clearer. But for now, I advise that to allow for detachment to become a familiar idea in everyday life, that you ask the self these simple questions, each day, when necessary: Should I be putting my energy here or there? Is this my journey to take, or is this the responsibility of the other? (Determining self from other is the first step in learning detachment.) Whose journey is this about? Who must take this step? Who is responsible for this action?

I could go on and on with many suggestions for determining the appropriateness of aiding another as they take their journey. But I believe that it is far more important for each one of you to confront the self at each step of your own journey and question the appropriateness of your actions based on the challenges you face. Are you choosing to take the evolving journey or are you choosing to continue avoiding that which clearly has revealed itself to you as the right path to take?

Each day you have personal choices to make. Tiny and insignificant though they may appear to be, they are being offered so that you may grow. Look upon the others in your life. They too are offered equal opportunities for personal growth. Acknowledge that truth, and then step back and let them take up the challenge while you challenge the self. That is allowing the self to learn detachment. And it is allowing the other to be responsible for learning how to guide the self through even the most minor of life’s tasks, learning to evolve and, eventually, to leave the nest, fully ready to take wing upon the individual energy, and this is good.

Chuck's Blog

#638 Chuck’s Place: OOPS! I Asked!

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Welcome to Chuck’s Place, where Chuck Ketchel expresses his thoughts, insights, and experiences! Many of the shamanic and psychological terms used in Chuck’s essays are defined in Tools & Definitions on our Psychotherapy website.

In last week’s blog, Don’t Ask, I explored the tool of not asking. I focused on the machinations of the conjuring mind that lures us to attach to worries that deplete our energy and sidetrack right action. The specific impetus for last week’s blog was my concern for someone I had not heard from in weeks. Throughout those weeks my mind kept presenting highly plausible scenarios regarding this person, beckoning my attachment. I had successfully not attached my inner attention to these possibilities, nor outwardly asked by actively pursuing contact.

The day after I wrote that blog, Jan and I watched a movie that concluded with the main character, whose journey reminded my of the person of my concern, dying. I instantly decided that this was my sign to ask: I would make a call.

At the exact moment of that resolve the phone rang. The person on the phone told me that he had just received a phone call inquiring about the whereabouts of the person of my concern. I read this as another sign to keep asking. Furthermore, that phone conversation was described to me as being sketchy, suggesting that the person of my concern was in dire straits, which fueled my worry. I initiated a three-way phone conversation, gently interrogating the third person as to what he really knew and was perhaps too uncomfortable to reveal to me. No new information was offered, only the thought that other people might have heard something. I doubted his honesty and with increasing passion undertook a campaign of asking. I made more phone calls to no avail. My anxiety mushroomed. I was completely stymied; my mood shifted to fear and sadness.

Finally, I sat quietly and tuned into my body. I noticed that no concern had genuinely emerged from my heart. My heart was calm. With this, I detached from my mind and decided to see what would actually present, independent of my mind. I shifted.

Within a short period of time I received a call stating that there had been a recent sighting of the person of my concern, an actual interaction. By the next morning, I received a direct call from the person of my concern; in fact, two calls. By the second call I was invited to reengage in a codependent pattern of enabling, an energetic noose I had worked so diligently to free myself from. I refused that call. I was able to experience a change in me. It really wasn’t that difficult to say no.

However, what I was shown was the validity of all that I had attempted to teach in last week’s blog. Do not trust the mind! Make sure that alleged synchronicity is indeed resonant synchronicity. Are you being lured by the conjuring mind? I should have realized that I had just watched a movie, a PROJECTION that my conjuring mind drew me to identify with. This was not a resonant synchronicity emerging from my heart.

Furthermore, my decision to ask activated an instant energetic response, engaging the energy of others without any physical action on my part, simply the energetic decision to ask. Decision is intent. We are energetically interconnected. If we decide to ask, that alone engages the energy of others, sometimes instantly, as in this case. The true discernment, however, is: Is it right to ask? Before we send out our intent, we must appeal to the feedback of the heart, seeking true resonant affirmation in that place of knowing. This discernment is the difference between OOPS and AHA!

As always, should anyone wish to write or ask, I can be reached at: chuck@riverwalkerpress.com or feel free to post a comment.

Until we meet again,
Chuck