Tag Archives: right action

Chuck’s Place: Unbending Detachment

Look to the skies for guidance on how to remain detached and yet fully energetically connected!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The key to actualizing our human potential is energy. If you have enough energy you can do just about anything. Recognizing the value of conserving and retrieving energy, shamans discovered that the human being’s most lethal energy drain is offense.  Being offended, by anything and everything, costs humans the lion’s share of their vital energy.

When we feel offended by the words and deeds of others we have emotional reactions, like anger, fear, and resentment that tax the central nervous system. We lose our balance, as we become emotionally charged, seeking relief in some kind of action. Often, obsessive thinking continues to replay the offense, which sustains and feeds this state of emotional tension.

Is it possible to have an objective reaction to another’s offensive behavior without being personally offended? Yes, through gaining conscious control of our instinctive emotional reactions and deciding, on the mental plane, to not be offended by the behavior of others, regardless of how ruthless it might be.

Who could forget Robert De Niro’s “Are you talking to me?” in the movie Taxi Driver? Instinctively, we feel the growing tension of his mounting anger, as he incessantly repeats this famous line. Truthfully, many are drawn to such unabashed expressions of rage and contempt, which vicariously satisfies our own unexpressed rage and resentment.

Now, if Robert De Niro had simply walked away, the movie would have flopped. On the other hand, if we want to start saving our vital energy, we must be willing to let go of the many dramas our internal dialogue ignites through its constant interpretation of offense, throughout our everyday lives.

This is not to say that there is not significant horrific behavior that must be addressed. At issue is the subjective state of offense that accompanies one’s reactions to those behaviors. One can assess a situation and decide upon a course of action, unencumbered by emotional reaction. In fact, this is a core teaching of all martial arts.

When one becomes emotionally offended by an opponent’s move, one loses one’s edge, fights poorly, and generally loses. As in shamanism, in the martial arts the key to success is to not become attached —offended— by one’s opponent’s behavior. The objective is to stay present to what is and completely conserve one’s energy in order to be fully engaged in one’s most efficient counter response.

In fact, when one becomes offended one actually gifts the opponent one’s own energy. Offense can lead to hopelessness, powerlessness, and surrender, as one’s vital energy reserves become depleted. Bullying behavior is actually a strategy to catch one’s opponent in the net of offense, weakening their game. Muhammed Ali was a striking example of such tactical behavior leading up to a fight, as he would mercilessly insult and demean his opponents.

Instinctive reactions can be, and often are, life saving. What we take as an instinctive reaction, however, is very frequently the ego’s decision to be offended, whereby calling forth the troops of passionate reactions to exact retribution, in some form. This is a hybrid, instinctive reaction that serves only the ego, not the true needs of the self.

Ego must learn to be a servant to the true needs of the whole self, rather than just its own self-aggrandizement. Even if the ego has been directly insulted, the ego must consider the energetic impact on its central nervous system, and its energy reserves, before determining its course of action.

If the ego faces the fact that we live in a world where life feeds upon life, it can come around to the fact that we live in a predatory universe and not get offended by it. Of course, this does not stop our need to defend ourselves, but how much stronger and more clearheaded we would be if we didn’t burden ourselves with being offended.

When the shamans speak of detachment, they are targeting what we typically judge to be offensive behavior. They promote inner silence to avoid offensive dramas when navigating oncoming time, to best be prepared to respond appropriately, with the least taxing of our energetic reserves. Inner silence entails quieting the mind, pulling into the heart center, and waiting patiently for the guidance that shows us how to act in a way that is truly right.

In addition, they recommend a thorough recapitulation of one’s relationships in life, particularly circumstances that left one feeling offended. Recapitulation frees one’s energy stored away in offense, but also frees one from being triggered by current circumstances that reflect one’s unresolved past.

The truth is that there are highly sadistic, abusive people who commit horrific acts. Recapitulation does not change this fact, but it does free one from draining one’s vital energy by being eternally offended by them. Detachment means accepting the truth of what was, and fully harnessing one’s freed energy to be redeployed in new life.

I send out the intent for unbending detachment, as we collectively advance our world into new life, beyond offense.

With Unbending Detachment,


Soulbyte for Friday September 4, 2020

Maintain a calm center even in the midst of chaos, for it is always appropriate to act from a place of calmness rather than fear, from a heart that is still and knowing rather than from a heart that is stirred by outside influences to act impetuously and without spiritual counsel. Give your heart the time it needs to calm down, and then give it time to stir up the love it naturally feels. From a place of love, right action and right decision will arise that is in alignment with a good spirit rising, within and without, turning chaos into loving kindness and compassion, the true intent of the calm and loving heart within you all.

Sending you love,
The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Tuesday September 1, 2020

Stay connected to the goodness within you no matter what transpires without. Kindness never grows old or useless, compassion knows no bounds, and love is always ready and willing. Though others may choose a more destructive path, walk behind them with loving kindness and compassion and clean up the mess they leave behind without making a sound. For goodness does not have to speak; its voice is in action, in the right things being done so that all may prosper and live a good and peaceful life. Let love guide the way so that all hearts may join in the true path of change, the loving path of kindness.

Sending you all love,

The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Thursday August 27, 2020

Meet hatred with love. Greet anger with kindness. Use compassion against bigotry and turn inward to the beauty of the pure loving heart to combat the disturbances around you, for the heart knows how to handle the most disagreeable of situations. Without thought or provocation it simply acts, impulsively and correctly, passionately and properly. Turn from rhetoric to the energy of love’s doing, the automatic attention to right actions of kindness, caring, and love of all. When the heart is in action all will be well.

Sending you love,

The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne

Soulbyte for Wednesday August 26, 2020

Remain attached to the messages from the heart, the truths that love, kindness, compassion, respect and honesty are the tickets to finding the way to inner peace and calmness, as well as peace and calmness in the world you live in. There is no truth in dishonesty, disrespect, hatred, fear, and divisiveness. The heart seeks to unify not destroy. The heart brings people together with love as its healing medicine, with kindness as its energy of choice, with compassion for all beings as its homegrown message. Let the soft healing heart not the hard head full of strange ideas guide you now, as the world makes a radical shift to correct that which needs correction. Remain heart centered and loving in these times of great need, and for all of your days as well.

Sending you love,

The Soul Sisters, Jan & Jeanne