Keep Passing It On

Dear Readers and Fellow Journeyers,

Today, we end this year’s blogging with a note of love and appreciation to all of you who read our work, who seek personal transformation, who pass on the messages from Jeanne, the contents of our writings, and the spirit imbued in this website: energetic intent, freed of commercialism and monetary gain.

How we elect to live our lives effects everything else. How we choose to challenge ourselves sends a message to the universe that we are or are not open to the energy that is seeking us in return.

Gift the self by seeking change. Challenge the self to be honest, truthful, open and impeccable in the face of personal confrontation. With gentleness and love go into the New Year. It awaits, prepared to be evolutionary, revolutionary, energetically charged with opportunity, possibility and guidance.

Happy Holidays! Be safe. Be strong. Be tender. Be loving with the self and others. Life is meant to be what it is: energy in action. Pass it on.

We take a break over the next week and will return on January 3, 2011 with something new.

Love and good wishes to all,
Jan and Chuck

A Day in a Life: Magic & Insight

A few weeks ago, I began reading a book called Anastasia, the first book in The Ringing Cedars Series, that someone had mentioned to me over a year ago. It is another “magical” book—series of books really—infused with powerful energy. I finished reading Anastasia and one night last week, before bed, I picked up the second book in the series and laid it on top of my dream journal as I prepared for bed, intending to read it next. That was all I needed to do to have a profound dream experience, touch the book with intent. Here is the dream I had that night:

I give birth to a girl child although I am not pregnant. In the dream, I go to the bathroom and, sitting on the toilet, I begin to feel and intuit that I am having a baby. At first it feels like a log, like I have a huge log stuck in my vagina. I try to feel with my hand if the baby is in fact down the birth canal or if the cervix is dilated. I move off the toilet after I see blood and go to look in a mirror. In the mirror I see the head has already emerged and so I know for sure that I am giving birth. I also know, from experience, that once the head is out the hard part is over and that the baby will come fast now. I have a moment of panic that it will get stuck like this, halfway out, and that I will have to walk around with a half-birthed baby protruding from my crotch. But in the next instant the baby pushes out. I catch her easily and bring her up to my breast. We bond immediately. She smiles up at me, looks deeply into my eyes, and snuggles against me. I hold her close, knowing that the warmth of our two bodies is enough to keep us safe, even in the coldest of climates.

I remember the book Anastasia at this point in the dream and the title character who contends that a child can survive in the world, even naked, as long as it is held close. I don’t know if she actually says this in the book, but this is what I get in my dream and she herself had survived in the Siberian Taiga through close nurturance and care by animals.

At this point, I take the baby to my parents who are sitting at a cafe table talking to my brother who died. I tell them I have had a baby and I show her to them, but they do not even look at her or show the least bit of interest. They say nothing and just stare blankly, gazing right through me, as if I don’t even exist. My brother looks at me tenderly and shrugs as if to say: “What did you expect?”

I walk away from them and bump into a few other people I know. I am aware that I have dried blood on my legs and that the baby and I are almost naked. I am wearing a short white shift, similar to what Anastasia is described as wearing, and I have the baby wrapped in a shawl. The people I meet acknowledge her, but only in uneasy glances. She is not well received or given any attention. I accept this, even though at first I am puzzled by the lack of interest, because I am having a most amazing experience, full of insight and intuition and I feel totally calm and at peace with this baby in my arms. I also know that she belongs only to me, that she is my responsibility and that I do not really need acknowledgement from others.

The details of the dream get fuzzy at this point, but the child grows almost immediately into a small thin creature, more doll like than human. I watch her running and skipping around. She can talk from the moment of birth like a well educated, spiritually evolved adult, full of wisdom and insight. I know that I must watch her carefully, not let her stray too far from me, and that I must keep her warm so that she not only survives, but also thrives.

As time goes on, I realize I have been forgetting about her more and more, that I forget to warm her against my body, that I am neglectful of her. When I notice she is looking cold I grab her, hold her against me and apologize for my lack of attention, but then I let her go again. At one point I see her lying in the shawl on the ground, not moving, and when I pick her up I see that she has dried up and that her right arm has cracked and broken off, as if she were made of clay. I feel terrible because I forgot all about her and let her get cold and dehydrated to the point of partially crumbling into dust. I am worried that she is dead. I am aware that I must take better care of her, that I must never forget about her again.

The dog woke me at 5:30 in the morning and I immediately forgot this dream. After I let the dog out I returned to bed, feelings of the significance of the dream staying with me, but still unable to recall it. The only thing I could remember was that I had dreamed of a log. As I lay in bed I felt a heavy feeling, almost a soreness in my pelvic floor. I heard a voice say: “Do a Kegel exercise,” which any woman knows is an exercise to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, especially recommended after giving birth. As soon as I squeezed the muscles I immediately recalled the dream. I had indeed felt like I had given birth in the night and my body held the memory of it until I recaptured it! From that point on the dream reemerged and as the day went on more details became clearer.

Immediately I noted the significance of having set the intent to read the second in that magical book series. I won’t go into details, but the series is based on the experiences of a Russian man who, in 1995, meets a woman, Anastasia, living in the forests of Siberia. She is energetically alive and evolved. His experiences in her company remind me of Carlos Castaneda’s experiences in the company of don Juan, and of my own experiences with Jeanne. Anastasia tells him things that he cannot imagine ever happening and yet they do, similar to my own experiences with Jeanne. Anastasia is directly connected to and channels energy and insight related to the planet and the environment. Whenever I have asked Jeanne questions about the environment, she has always stated that there are other soul groups working on that and that it is not her expertise. Jeanne is connected to a soul group that is involved with soul advancement. This distinction struck me, as I read the first book and thought that perhaps Anastasia is connected to this environmentally concerned soul group energy.

Anyway, that was my first insight as my dream unfolded, that I had set the intent. The second insight I got was that this dream was about my personal transformation. When I recapitulated my childhood, when my abuser did in fact molest me with wooden objects, I rid them from my body as I relived each memory. In the dream, perhaps I feared that this was just another wooden object, another memory to be removed, but then I see life, a real baby instead of a log. I see this as indicative of the transformational process; having released the trauma I can now allow myself to give birth to new life within myself.

When I attempted to show the child to my parents and other acquaintances neither it nor my transformational process was given any attention. In every attempt to introduce this innocent child to the world, the old world, there was no resonance. My personal experiences did not matter in that world. I received the insight that I must further detach from that old world now and more fully embrace this new world that the child represents. Anastasia’s story influenced my dream experience: I knew that the child must be nurtured to thrive. It was pretty clear and simple. All I had to do is keep her with me at all times. I am enough; I am all she needs.

However, I seemed to still need reminding of something, some piece was missing, because every time I laid the child aside, apart from my physical body, something happened to her. She got cold or brittle, and eventually dried up. When I discovered her all dried up and with a broken arm, I immediately felt deep remorse, regret, sadness and extremely guilty for leaving her to fend for herself. I realized that I had not been doing something right. I was killing her by forgetting about her. In the dream, I instinctively knew that I had to keep her close to me, that we did not need anything else, we were enough; that we were done with the old world, had already left it behind. We had already done the work of transformation. I was reminded, as I picked up the broken child in the end of the dream and held her close once again, that she is my innocent self, and that I must stay connected to her at all times, not just when I feel like it. I must remember that this is what my wholeness feels like, and yes, that I am enough. I also knew that if I stayed connected, bonded with her, that everything else would take care of itself, that life would unfold, as it should.

As the day went on and this dream stayed with me, I received a final insight. Pictures of the Virgin Mary holding the Christ child kept popping into my head, paintings from my art history books that I’d studied a long time ago. Each time one of these paintings came to me, I re-experienced holding that child in my arms in the dream, nestling against my chest, snuggling in, totally trusting me, totally calm, knowing that she was exactly where she belonged. As I re-experienced these feelings throughout the day—utter calmness, contentment, wholeness—I saw the significance of these paintings; virgin and child, maturity and innocence; appropriate symbols of giving birth to the Self and to true spirit innocence, which, in my case, I worked so hard to reunite with and nurture into life during my years of recapitulating my traumatic childhood, a time when I was mostly concerned with simply surviving. With this insight I now clearly understand the symbolism of the Virgin Mary and Christ Child as Whole-Self, complete. I had gotten it right, finally the missing piece was found.

We are all the Virgin and we are all the Christ Child in her arms. No matter if we are male or female, we are all totally capable of giving birth to the total Self. This is not the wounded child self, but Christ as innocence within, Self and God-Self fully merged. I know I must not be afraid to embrace this wholeness. I must not put her aside again or depart from the path. I must stay connected to this magic within. I know she was not damaged throughout the whole childhood journey; she remained whole, waiting for me to reconnect.

I know how hard it is to stay connected to this spirit self at all times. We must all deal with the reality of our lives and remain connected to this world, but I also know that the magic is available to us, reminding us that this is really the biggest challenge, to keep turning toward it. Once we have connected to the magic of our true spirit self, whether through our experiences, dreams, processes of inner work, through our intent to change, or through the books we elect to read, our challenge then becomes to never put it aside again, but to hold our experiences as close as a child in our arms, remembering why we are here and what we are really seeking. The magic is really inside each one of us.

I humbly offer these intent-dream-book-insight-magical experiences as we enter a new phase of winter magic. Happy Holidays! May they be magically meaningful, personally, by intent.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes,

#739 Innocence: The Observing Self

Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
What message of guidance for living our lives upon this earth at this time do you offer us today?

Do not be afraid to embrace your innocence, for it is only in connecting to this true self that you will truly thrive and grow beyond the mundane world of black and white reality. In order to truly experience LIFE in a new way—the colorful magic that is available to you—you must reconnect with your innocent self.

This innocent self is pure energy. Do not confuse it with your child self or your wounded baby self, but seek to go beyond personal attachment to find the essence of self. The essence of self, the pure energy of self, resides separately but also in concert with the personality and the self who has lived through the stages of life upon that earth.

I speak of learning to detach from the trials of the present life in order to find your innocence. Innocence refers to the energy of all life, yourself included, that knows why you are there now living the life you do. It knows what it means to be free, to be pure energy. And it is not afraid of anything, even the life you now live, even the most frightening of circumstances and the most sorrowful of challenges.

In learning to encounter this central self, this essence of life, this life force, I urge you to be open to your life experiences from the perspective of observer, for this is what your true self is: An all-knowing observer of your human existence. If you can find the means of sitting outside the self, you will find yourself as innocent. And in so doing you will experience awareness.

Awareness is clarity. Awareness is knowing the blanket truth of the self, of this life and all lives. Awareness is gaining acceptance so that no matter what appears to challenge you in life your perspective is that it is a natural part of your transformation, your evolutionary growth.

In accessing innocence, in allowing the self to accept the truths of the self with this clarity of awareness guiding you through a process of awakening, you will connect to your essence of being, your energy self, but you will also be able to utilize this self in that life you now live.

Many people seek guidance, seek a path of healing, seek a means of understanding the world and their personal predicament, and this is clearly growth-oriented work. As you do the work of the self, you open doors to a fuller understanding of the self in the universe, the self as part of a whole, the self not only as seeker but also as holding all that is sought.

You see, in acquiescing to your personal journey as truly a journey of transformation, you will inevitably experience transformation, incrementally at first, but undoubtedly more fully as time goes on.

In closing today, I wish to state that you are all fully capable of understanding what I am spelling out. Even if you might find my words confusing, vague, or too esoteric to comprehend at this moment in time, just wait and see what happens, for a grain of truth will have been planted today and all you have to do is remember it as you go into life.

Perhaps the first grain of truth to remember is that, yes, you can take yourself outside of your dire predicament or your worrisome mind or your fearful child self and in a place of calm detachment gain a different perspective on the self as whole, as an evolving being.

This is your true life at this moment in time. See that clearly. And then ask why. But do not ask why from your old seat of self, but from your detached energetic seat of self. Allow your innocence to both speak and listen. Allow your innocence to both teach and learn. Allow your innocence to become part of your process toward new life, toward transformation, NOW, in this life.

Thank you Jeanne!

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message from Jeanne in the post/read comments section below.

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Chuck’s Place: Magical Books

Some books simply are magical. Every time I pick up any book of Carlos Castaneda’s—books I have read dozens of times over the past forty years—I encounter new knowledge. These books are alive with an energy that takes me deeper in my journey of awareness. They inevitably lead me into heightened awareness where my clarity of knowing is unparalleled. I experience directly the intent of the seers of ancient Mexico. Carlos channeled that intent in those living books by completely removing his self-importance from their pages. He reserves his words for precise descriptions of his experiences in the seer’s world.

Recently, while rummaging through the books at the local recycling center, I came upon the big book, AA’s “bible.” Though I’ve read countless works on recovery, I never actually read this book. This book is also a living book, a magical book. Unpretentious, blue, with no outer appeal, in fact, rather anonymous looking, it nonetheless called out to me.

As I began to read through its pages, I recognized the evolutionary intent it channels. AA is the most successful mass movement for evolutionary change on earth. The guidelines of that intent are clearly spelled out in shamanic terms. For change to happen one must beckon a power beyond the ego. The ego must then open to a shamanic journey with that power to experience genuine transformation. In preparation for that journey the guidance requires a complete loss of self-importance, in fact, in AA everyone remains on a first name basis only. No one is more important than the other—there is no hierarchy. No profit is to be made from the program and no one is rejected; all are equal. (I think Senator McCarthy was barking up the wrong tree when he was seeking out the true communists in America in the nineteen-fifties!)

Furthermore, the growth of AA was predicated on the energetic law of attraction, clearly spelled out in the book, attraction versus promotion. The guidance also strongly recommends one’s individual encounter with the truth in the form of a moral inventory and making of amends. This is a version of recapitulation that enables the seeker to put down old burdens, erase the constraints of personal history, preparing the ground for freedom and transformation.

In describing the magical origins of AA, the book chronicles the role of C. G. Jung. After failing to cure one of AA’s founders, the dejected patient pressed Jung for any glimmer of hope for what to do next to heal. Jung, offering little hope to this advanced alcoholic patient and without any further guidance, suggested he might experience a transformation through a spiritual experience. “Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences,” Jung told him. (p. 27 in Alcoholics Anonymous Third Edition.) He did indeed go out and have a spiritual experience that channeled the path to AA, and the rest is history, as chronicled in the big book, a living viable path for transformation.

Jung himself, the son of generations of protestant ministers, was faced with the personal experience that dogma and belief could not serve the needs of his soul. As Aniela Jaffé writes in C. G. Jung Word and Image: “In his eyes, the ability to believe was a gift of grace, one which he (Jung) and many others no longer shared. That loss justified the search for new approaches to the numinous.” This was the impetus behind Jung’s suggestion to his alcoholic patient to go out and seek a spiritual experience.

Jung himself recorded his own spiritual journey in The Red Book, another magical book. In this book Jung chronicles his personal confrontation with powers greater than himself, a series of numinous experiences that ultimately paved its own path to wholeness in the form of analytical psychology. This book, like other magical books, is bereft of self-importance and hints at a means for each of us to discover our own individuation.

The common thread running through the magical books of Carlos Castaneda, AA, and C. G. Jung is that they all channel the energy of transformation and evolutionary intent, offering access to a personal spiritual transformative experience. Whether the journey happens in the shaman’s world, supported by a nagual, or in psychotherapy under the guidance of a therapist, or in “the rooms” supported by the AA community, it is only a personal experience that will lead to genuine transformation and change.

These magical books speak to our time, where the grace of dogma and belief can no longer serve the spiritual evolutionary needs of a planet in crisis, in dire need of transformation. However, to go beyond dogma and belief and truly achieve transformation each one of us must individually take the journey, and see what happens!

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,

A Day in a Life: Lessons Learned

While I diligently and with a dogged sense of purpose went about a shamanic process of recapitulation of my earliest years, I was often presented with experiences in other worlds. In the beginning, I was more or less thrown unwittingly into many experiences that I could neither explain nor fathom; they were so otherworldly at times that I often came away from them steeped in both awe and fear. But all I really had to do was take them to my weekly shamanic sessions with Chuck and he would very soberly and kindly explain my experiences in the pragmatic terms of the world of the seers of ancient Mexico. As time went on, and I learned more about the seer’s world, I volitionally entered into experiences in an effort to gain greater clarity of my personal journey but also to more fully understand how the seer’s world could work for me in everyday life. In fact, I began to develop a hunger for the magic that I thought I could only find within that world.

Perhaps the biggest magic that I engaged and cultivated was the connection I developed with Jeanne. She was present from the onset of my recapitulation journey, though I was not fully aware of the reason why. I learned to trust her guidance implicitly. As I ventured into recapitulation and into experiences that could only be described as paranormal, she kept me very anchored in this world, always pressuring me to stay grounded and focused on taking life one step at a time.

In the channeling blog on Monday I introduced six practical steps that Jeanne stressed to me over and over again as I went through my recapitulation process. I think they are still some of the simplest and most useful steps in living a life of grounded awareness. Her advice was often not that profound, things I intuitively knew, but when in the midst of crisis or when undergoing the stresses of personal transformation her words often seemed like manna from heaven.

I repeat here the six practical steps I mentioned previously and then offer a few more:

1. Stay in form (good physical shape).

2. Rest.

3. Allow for flow and take one step at a time.

4. Stop thinking so much.

5. Everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.

6. Learn detachment.

One day, while trying to get my bearings around some issues that just seemed too overwhelming to handle, including my car that needed some work, I pleaded with Jeanne to help me. She suggested, very pragmatically, that I make a plan. Here are her words:

Make a plan to deal with your problems, even if it doesn’t feel like a complete and right plan, just begin the first step and it will begin to take on a life of its own, but nothing will happen if you ignore the problems. They won’t go away nor will they change. They will sit there like the car in your driveway, like a big gray elephant that you know you have to take care of. Deal with it. The longer it sits there, the more energy drains from you because of it.”

She told me to stop pushing myself so hard, to stop overworking to the point of exhaustion and she told me to breathe:

“Remember your breath. It sustains you and you know how important it is. Find your breath and move the tiredness out of your body with each exhale and bring in new energy and life with each inhale.”

She also stressed that dreamtime was as significant as waking time:

You need to keep your dream paths open for more productive dreaming. That’s why you are so tired today, you didn’t rest last night, your problems fed and leached into your dream paths, stealing away your time of peace. Don’t let this happen. Your dreamtime is as important as your waking time.”

In reference to the above statement about dreamtime she also said:

Pass this on. This is another chore I am giving you in this time of indecision: to pass along the things I tell you in order to keep open your channels, night and day.”

“Take care of yourself by dealing with the difficulties that arise in your life,” she went on to say, “and do it all in a calm and steady, one-step at a time manner. The answers will come to you. You don’t even need to try that hard. Do what seems natural—the thing that comes to you in a calm moment. Slow down and things will begin to happen.”

She told me to stop trying so hard to figure my life out, but to just flow with it, that it was already laid out for me, I just had to learn to acquiesce to the unfolding of it.

I’m not giving you riddles,” she said. “The only riddle is being able to recognize what is right before you.”

She was right you know; everything was already laid out. In moments of deep meditation and recapitulation and during many Embodyment Therapy sessions, I saw everything laid out. I saw the past, already done, laid out in ancient times, as was the future too, long before I ever existed. I saw this future, my current life, though it seemed but a dream, and I even saw beyond this time. I saw paintings I had yet to paint, I saw books I had yet to write. I saw people I had yet to meet, and I saw lives I had yet to live. Some of those paintings, forgotten in the split second that I glimpsed them, did get painted and some of the books have been and are being written. At that moment of insight, I knew I just had to choose to live out what was before me. I had to choose life!

I have met many new people in my new life and even though I have gone on to become a purveyor of advice myself sometimes, I still pay attention to the words of guidance that I received from Jeanne when I felt like I was drowning in crisis after crisis. In quiet moments of calm, I know that they are still, in their simplicity and practicality, some of the soundest words of advice I have ever heard. And they work in the seer’s world too, for really that is where they come from.

I offer these words of guidance, because, as Jeanne told me back then, this was going to be one of my jobs, to pass on what I learned. I most humbly accepted the challenge she laid down before me, first to finish recapitulating my early traumas and then to keep doing my inner work so that I could always be open and available to not only be her partner, but to fully live life as it was presented and to accept my place in a world that is indeed quite magical!

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes,