Tag Archives: recapitulation

A Day in a Life: Pathways to Change

This deer has constantly challenged itself to come closer and closer, coming by several times a day to raid the bird seed! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
This deer has constantly challenged itself
to come closer and closer,
coming by several times a day to raid the bird seed!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Living a healthy life, for as long as we are here, is all about care of the self, striving to know the self at the deepest level, learning to love and to receive, giving the inner self and the outer self equal attention and importance. It’s about valuing who we are and what we have to offer, because we all have something to offer. It’s about fully embracing the real self—the true self that we all know we are but are often afraid to express—allowing it live to the fullest.

This is not an easy task! We must struggle to maintain balance, both internally and externally, while we simultaneously must wrestle with our human desires and appetites. If we are to succeed, we must pay attention to our bodies, our minds, and our spirits, as well as all the parts of ourselves that constantly vie for our attention. We must learn to be okay with where we are. We must remain fully aware that life itself wishes us to grow and change. We must be okay with what comes to us from outside, knowing that it is there to guide and teach us. I see both negative and positive aspects of life as obstacles because whether they are harsh or difficult challenges and confrontations, diseases and physical impediments, or even if everything comes easily to us, they all challenge us to individuate and mature so that we may reach our fullest potential.

If we can begin to accept that life is more than just a mundane, sad, unfulfilled existence; if we can embrace it as an exciting experience in a most fantastic realm, we open ourselves to something far beyond the norm. In simply deciding that the life we are in is enough, in acknowledging that what we must contend with everyday is our necessary pathway to change, we begin to experience life in a new way.

I create my own reality, and so, if I constantly complain about my life then I will never experience life in a new way. I will only experience what I say and tell myself. But if I shake off the negative speak that runs through me and contaminates my experience, I offer myself the possibility for a new experience. This is what Jeanne speaks of in her messages. Each week she asks us to be open and willing to face life in a new way, not viewing it as a horrible or frightening experience, nor as a tiresome task or depressing situation, but as an exciting adventure. She asks us to be energetically available to life in a new way.

Living a healthy life, and gaining awareness of who we are and where we are really being led in our personal lives, entails constantly seeking balance, paying attention to what our bodies tell us, honing our skills of self-communication and dialogue with the inner self—all parts of that inner self. A good way to begin intending and asserting a new attitude toward life, is to pay attention to our physical bodies. In simply paying attention to our body’s messages, we might just have the first big breakthrough to new life.

Recently, I have been struggling with a lower back ache. It’s due to heavy lifting of 40 pound bags of pellets and the hauling of firewood. I have had to pay attention to it, as it will not let me do otherwise. It’s forcing me to stay in my body. I already know that this is one of my greatest challenges in this lifetime, to be present in my physical body. Through my entire recapitulation, being present in my body meant facing the pain and humiliation of the sexual abuse I suffered as a child. As a child I got really good at leaving my body—it was a means of escape from the pain it carried—so good that for most of my life I was never really in it. My recapitulation taught me that my body was a good place, my vehicle through life, absolutely necessary if I was to evolve. And so I struggle constantly to remain present, to not drift off as I am naturally wont to do.

We honor our guidance from the universe... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We honor our guidance from the universe…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

To change a habit that once saved my life has been challenging. And so, I am thankful for the aches and pains of my lower spine, reminding me every day to pay attention to what my body is telling me. I am addressing it constantly in a multitude of healing practices, but my biggest healing has been to let it be present, to work with it, to let it guide me to what I should and should not be doing at this time in my life.

I have always been physically strong, able to do exactly what I wanted, and so I never limited myself in anyway. Now, I must face that I am limited and sometimes, I must admit, it has been a real pain—pun intended! I can’t just do anymore; now I have to think before I do, and that is both a challenge and a contemplative process. I must stay in my body basically all the time, in every moment of the day. If I do not, it reminds me —OUCH!— to come back! And so, I am constantly present, paying attention to what I am doing in each moment. Life has become a constant walking/sitting meditation. I am paying attention to the fact that my back, always so strong and readily available, is now saying: Don’t take on so much for others; don’t give away your energy so easily, protect it, use it for what is most important. You are not allowed to bear so much anymore. You are important—take care of you!

Each morning, Chuck and I begin the day by each pulling a card from our favorite Tarot deck. It’s a way of anchoring ourselves in our intent—the intent to remain balanced, aware, and open to life. Each day we ask the cards to supply us with what we need most to guide us. The answer, whatever it is, always reminds us to pay attention to our internal worlds as well as our external worlds, as they mirror each other perfectly. Each day we both pick the perfect response to where we are individually, and as a loving, growing partnership as well. How could it be otherwise? The universe is always in alignment with us! The challenge is for us to get in alignment with it!

My little back ache is asking me to pull back from too much experience in the outer world, to hone my skills in my inner world in a new way. And so I have been daring myself—as you know, if you’ve been listening to my weekly channeled messages—to deepen my experience as an energetic being. Yes, I must live life fully in my body, accept my strong physical self, but equally my strong spiritual self as well. And that is why I have a backache!

I see this as part of my process of growth and change, in alignment with my spirit’s intent to constantly grow. I don’t believe we are here to just grow once and then plunk down and say, “Okay, I did it, I changed.” No, the challenge is to keep growing. Likewise, if all I do is moan about my aching back, nothing will shift for me at all, all I’ll have is a painful back and a depressing life. But, if I elect to use this challenge, then I am doing something to shift myself, to change my perception of life, and hone my awareness. In fact, I create a new reality for myself.

Watch those backs! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Watch those backs!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I hope you all find out what your little or big aches, pains and challenges are trying to alert you to. Mostly, they ask us to confront something, to get to the bottom of who we are, to make amends, and move on to the next challenge. We just have to be ready to face and accept the truth of that challenge, and act upon it in a positive, healing way. Acting upon it is often the greatest challenge. Many times I have had to feel the searing pain in my lower back to remind me of just how I am being asked to act upon the messages I receive.

Good luck! And be careful out there if you are shoveling all that snow today!
Jan

Chuck’s Place: New World Family

Everything is changing now, including what it means to be family... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Everything is changing now,
including what it means to be family…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

My lifetime symbol in the Tarot deck is the Hierophant, card number 8. Lifetime symbols reflect the central archetypal myth and challenge to realize during a lifetime. I am struck by the emphasis of this card on the value of family.

When I reflect on my personal history in this lifetime, it is noteworthy how many conventional rules I’ve been willing to break in the service of revisioning family to fit our evolving needs. I know I was drawn to Carlos Castaneda’s shamanic line to service this intent. Carlos ended the limited shamanic family of his ancient line. Like a true socialist shaman he freed all the secret teachings, all the secret practices, for anyone energetically ready or inclined to take perception to new levels. He ended secrecy and selectively of apprentices, launching shamanism as an equal opportunity employer. The time of shamans is over. Everyone needs to become their own shaman now and take their own soul retrieval journey. Castaneda knew this. That was the ending and the evolution of his line.

Carlos’s shamanic line also put a premium on releasing energetic agreements that bind one’s energetic potential and limit fulfillment. This practice is called “erasing personal history,” not to be mistaken as erasing the truths, in fact, recapitulation insists that we fully face our personal history. However, in recapitulation we also are charged with withdrawing our energy from old energetic agreements and attachments, especially those that go back to our families of origin, where we innocently assumed roles and beliefs that overshadow our lives. Whether meaningful and truthful or not, those roles and beliefs must be dissected and questioned as to their true relevance and usefulness in our evolving lives, as beings totally separate from our families of origin.

In erasing personal history, we free our own energy as well as the energy of those whom we have been attached to, allowing all of us to grow and evolve without the limitations of old needs, expectations, or conventions ill-suited to evolving beings. From my perspective, this is caring for family at the deepest level, loving deeply, while simultaneously freeing all to fully become who they truly are capable of being, with no expectation to turn back and asking nothing in return. This is the empty-nester who frees all to new life, and enjoys new life as well!

We are in a new world now. However, the old world lives on, posing as new. Fiercely unwilling to die, it constantly tries to reassert itself, tempting us with new tools of communication, inviting us into the new family home of cyberspace. The internet now offers us a new family—with the possibility of unlimited connection—but it also pounds us with all the old tricks, enticing us closer with promises of more, unrelentingly targeting the rabid consumers that it knows we are, gathering marketing information to sell its wares. Of course the internet is much more than this, but it still dominates with an old world economy, one ill-suited to serve the true needs of our interconnected world. It has opened the doors to greater communication and connection yet it lacks selflessness—keep in mind that this true new world family does not discriminate. Tribalism, filial piety, paternalism, self-interest, must all be revisioned away from the bindings of specialness and entitlement if we are to truly evolve.

We all belong to the new family tree of energy and transformation... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We all belong to the new family tree of energy and transformation…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Decisions and actions must flow from the place of right action to serve the true needs of our real family, our world family. Decisions that serve the self or one’s own family interests to the detriment of others is an old world order that literally poisons the environment and melts the polar ice caps. This old world order is slipping away because it is not sustainable—don’t be fooled by the bravado of those who tout its sustainability, it’s simply the last stand before the inevitable fall.

The call to change and evolve is not about fighting the old world, it’s about staking a personal claim in the new world. Every decision we make and every action we take determines which world we live in. The new world is still a world of family, but it’s a one-world family. This is one of the worlds that Carlos Castaneda’s shamanic process of recapitulation allows us to join. Through the deep process of erasing personal history we offer ourselves the possibility of new life, as, in shedding the old world of self, we naturally experience our interconnected oneness; the new one-world family.

When we turn off the water, decide to walk, refuse to invest in profitable but destructive stocks, charge a fair fee, are guided by our hearts and synchronicities, eat local and real; when we give service without discrimination as we are energetically able, and as is energetically appropriate to those who cross our paths, we assume our rightful place as full citizens in our brave new world; a world where no one is more important than anyone else. As a steward of the Hierophant in our time, I offer this message: family does matter—the one-world family!

From the new world,
Chuck

In loving memory of Pete Seeger, the man who gave so selflessly and tirelessly that we might all join this new one-world family.

A Day in a Life: Beginning

Angry! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Angry!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

A man was angry all the time. He drank every night to numb his anger. He wanted to change so he decided to meditate. His intent set, he got up early in the morning, took a shower and sat at his desk. Before long his consciousness left his body, taking him out of his apartment and the city he lived in. It withdrew further and further from the earth. Soon he was in outer space looking down at the world, seeing it in its entirety as his awareness expanded and expanded. He entered infinity and experienced the endlessness of it and the knowledge that he was part of it all, that all life was energetically connected and infinite. When he returned to his body he was a changed man, his perception of life and the world transformed forever. Even so, he knew that in order to hold onto what he had learned, to keep experiencing himself as infinite, he had to shed his anger. Even though he had experienced the light, he knew he still had to face the darkness within.

Not everyone has such an experience when they sit down to meditate for the very first time, but many meditators eventually have this same kind of experience, the experience of the self as energy, interconnected to and a part of all energy. During such experiences the issues of the self pale in comparison to the ecstatic experience. If we are to truly evolve, however, the angry man was right; we must face our darkness.

Last night I dreamed. I was traveling on a train beside the ocean. There was a voice speaking throughout the dream, instructing, chanting a calming mantra, saying that meditation must happen all the time. From the train window I could see a small island with a Greek style temple on it not too far from the coast. I could see that it was possible to get there and I desired to go, but each time I saw the temple the ocean was churning up gigantic waves, fierce and threatening. Many times throughout the night I rode this train. The scenario was always the same. I’d hear the voiceover, see the temple and wish to be on it, notice the dark and threatening waves impossible to traverse. I’d get off the train and enter a large hotel where a gathering was taking place. A lot of people were there, walking around, keeping their energy to themselves, not talking or interacting. Everyone was meditating where they were. I did the same. Outside the vast windows of the hotel I could see the churning ocean and the temple on the island. The voiceover still said the same thing, “Meditate all the time.”

When I woke up, I knew that the message in the dream was that in order to get to the temple we must endure the struggles that we are faced with, the darkness within—the churning ocean. Just like the angry man who wished to change, deep inner work is necessary in order to attain and maintain the transcendent experience—the temple.

During my recapitulation this was exactly what I learned. In spite of the most amazing experiences that literally cracked through reality and presented me with the most stunning view of my life and the world, I knew I still had to face my deepest secrets and challenges if I was to have full access to my energetic self and be able to actually live as the changed being I was working so hard to become. Having a deep and meaningful spiritual practice was as important as doing my recapitulation and, in fact, became the perfect companion to the shamanic work I was doing. It was essential to the entire process.

I am eating… I am only eating… - Photo by Jan Ketchel
I am eating… I am only eating…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The true work of recapitulation is reconciliation with the fragments of self, healing the wounds of life, and even lifetimes, so that the true self, the spirit, may finally take its rightful place as the true self in the world. The goal of my recapitulation was to find the means to live from my deeply spiritual self all the time. I could only do that by giving that spiritual self a practice that was as deeply meaningful as the recapitulation. And so, my lifelong practices of yoga and meditation deepened as a result, becoming the prefect companions to my shamanic work.

I encourage everyone to develop a spiritual practice. If you desire to fully experience and embrace your spiritual self, to live as a changed being, from that place of deepest truth, then a spiritual practice is imperative. A spiritual practice will accompany you through life, bringing you constantly back to experiences of yourself as an energetic being, bringing fulfillment of our deepest interconnectedness. (In fact, if everyone was doing a deep spiritual practice all the time our world would surely change, but that’s another blog!) Meditation, as instructed in my dream, can be done all the time. It’s simple and everyone can do it. It doesn’t take equipment or a gym pass. It only takes mindfulness.

For instance, right now I am sitting and writing this blog, but I am also meditating. I am writing; I am only writing. I am mindfully focused only on writing and honing the message of this blog. When I get up, I will focus on getting up. Perhaps I will say: “I am getting up now. I am walking away from my computer. I am breathing. I am walking.”

These are mindful messages to the self that cancel out the constant thoughts that circulate and defeat us. At the same time that I am doing this mindful thought-erasing activity, I am also mindful that at another time I will examine those other thoughts. I will find out where they come from, how they came into my head, who said them to me, and why I still carry them. I will face what is dark and disturbing within myself, mindfully, just as I mindfully remain present in my daily life, focusing on everything I do throughout the day. To have peace of mind, I must constantly and mindfully work on myself. But to remain a balanced and present being, sometimes it’s appropriate to have a calm mind, and at other times it’s appropriate to pay attention to the mind and confront our issues and thoughts. As our mindfulness practice grows we become better able to manage our minds and maturely handle what comes to challenge us.

I am drinking tea… I am only drinking tea… - Photo by Jan Ketchel
I am drinking tea…
I am only drinking tea…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

A practice of mindful meditation is the perfect way to gain balance. To periodically shift our thoughts away from negativity, we simply state what we are doing, over and over again. As the voice in my dream said to me during the night: we can meditate all the time. We might say: I am sitting at my desk working now. I am eating now. I am reading now. I am driving now. I am walking now. I put my foot down, I breathe and I walk, one step at a time, mindfully. I am walking.

A mindfulness practice offers the opportunity to gain balance and calmness even in the midst of turmoil. If we do it often enough, we eventually do it without even thinking. We can turn off bad thoughts by introducing mindful thoughts.

I am good. I am writing. I am breathing. I am love. I am sending you love.

In mindfulness,
Jan

Chuck’s Place: Following The Metaphysical Thread

I took a journey through a transpersonal realm and emerged anew! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
I took a journey through a transpersonal realm and emerged anew!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I took a deep journey in my physical body, one of whole-body ecstatic movement and release. At a certain point, I became the observer as well as the experiencer—a being in two places at once. As the intensity of rhythmic movement overtook my body, I found myself in the midst of the labor of my own birth, discovering newfound freedom.

After this experience, I noticed the immediate onset of intestinal cramping. The cramping continued throughout the night and into the next day, powerfully dominating my experience. My discomfort was so great that I found respite only in crawling into the fetal pose and breathing deeply, where I finally found astonishing relief.

As the day wore on, my mind got more and more involved. “This must be a stomach virus,” it said. “It’s going around. Or perhaps it’s food poisoning.” Before I knew it, I was googling “irritable bowel syndrome”—the symptoms of which fit perfectly. At that point, my mind began to imprison me in the narrow corridor of rational explanations. I decided, however, to suspend these judgments, as I saw how any one of them would lock me into a known world where I would acquiesce to protocol by constructing a diagnosis and treatment plan, a solid world to frame and resolve my experience in.

I chose instead to stay with the metaphysical thread of a birthing experience that begged for new mastery through a recapitulation process. I know that as a fetus in utero, and at birth, I was impacted by violence. In fact, physical violence to my mother caused my premature birth. What came to me during my experience was the call to ride the waves of the contractions and, in conscious awareness, safely bring my body to shore, to, in fact, re-experience my birth. I did just that, riding the waves all day long, and when night came and I got into bed I set the intent to push my body through the final waves of the process. Incessantly stating my intent to calmly heal and relax, I breathed deeply and, before long, the contractions, most amazingly, subsided.

I was then able to sleep, perhaps for a half hour at a time. I’d awaken and repeat my mantra and deep breathing. Countless times throughout the night I did this and found relief. Eventually, I noticed that I’d awaken in a calm state with no need to restate my intent; the intent having taken over. By morning I was completely healed, delivered by my own intent and acquiescence to the process.

We live in a transpersonal reality, that is, many dimensions or worlds simultaneously. In one world, had I entered it, I suffered food poisoning and could have been treated appropriately. In another world, I suffered the collective stomach flu and could have equally been healed with several days of rest. In another world, I lived through and mastered the trauma of my own birth as I entered this life.

Most instructive to me in this experience was the deeper significance of Carlos Castaneda’s oft-repeated maxim, “Suspend judgment.” With judgments we create constructs, the walls of the world we live in, an all-encompassing world with its own set of rules. When we are able to suspend judgment, however, we can follow the metaphysical thread of an experience into transpersonal worlds, where anything truly is possible!

All things are possible,
Chuck

A Day in a Life: Change? What Do You Mean?

This view is different every day… So is all of life, if we care to see it that way… - Photo by Jan Ketchel
This view is different every day…
So is all of life, if we care to see it that way…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

What does it mean to be the change you want to see? When I was a child one of my favorite things to do was to hang upside down on the monkey bars or from the branch of a tree. Suddenly the world was different! The same thing happened inside when I’d hang my head off the side of my bed or the living room couch, my hair brushing the floor. Suddenly everything was different. Doorways had trestles to step over, furniture clung to the ceiling and my mother sitting nearby was capable of the most extraordinary feats. I’d watch her get up out of her chair and walk upside down! I’d imagine being a fly, able to walk up the walls and across the ceiling all the time.

I’d often climb high into the branches of my favorite tree and see the world from a different perspective, like a queen on her throne, ruler of all I surveyed. Sometimes someone would walk by on the path beneath the tree, unaware that I was above them, watching every move they made. During such times I experienced a unique and unusual sense of power, power that in my normal life simply did not exist.

It took me a long time to realize that I did in fact have the power to change how I perceived the world, my child self innocently showing me just how easy it really was. From a different perspective, the world was new and different and I was new and different as well. How could I not be when I’d suddenly find myself in such an extraordinary position, capable of changing the world as I saw it?

Most of my childhood was spent in deep depression. Not that I was aware of what depression was, as it’s only in hindsight that I know that it was a symptom of my life circumstances. As a result, I shut down, my inner fantasy world much more interesting that the everyday world I inhabited. The outer world paled and became dull in comparison. It became routine, boring, and uneventful. I never imagined it would be otherwise. The thing that changed all that was really getting fed up with that boring world, and with myself as well. I had to find out what else there was out there!

And so I got up and got going. I looked for signs to show me what to do. Signs appeared, which led to a series of changes as I dared myself to follow them. I moved, a lot. I married, divorced, and then married and divorced again. I filled my life with children and work, with keeping active and busy, with creative endeavors. I instigated change all the time—I became a person of action! But it wasn’t until I realized that with all the changes I was making, nothing had really changed at all, and I was still the same depressed person I had always been. Something was wrong with my approach.

It was then that I realized that all the changes I’d made had been related to the world outside of me. I was constantly changing my circumstances or the people in my life, or trying to. It was then that my spirit spoke to me. It was dying. It was worn out with the boringness of the life I was living. It gave me an ultimatum, change or I’m checking out. I sensed a spiritual death was about to happen, and in fact that it meant a physical death as well. Only then did a different kind of change start happening. A series of events began that instigated the real change I had always sought. As most of you already know, that was when I began to discover another, deeper self, and the reason for the deep state of depression that had plagued me my whole life. I met Chuck and began a three-year-long shamanic recapitulation.

Suddenly the world looks sugarcoated… It's changed! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Suddenly the world looks sugarcoated…
It’s changed!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

My recapitulation brought me right back to my child self and her ability to perceive a changed world simply by hanging upside down from the monkey bars. I discovered that all I really needed to do to change myself and my life was to look at the world and myself from a different perspective! Sounds simple enough, but it took more courage to do that than any of the other things I had ever done in my life.

By my own volition, I entered a new world. Suddenly, everything began to make sense. Pieces of the mysterious puzzle of self began to fit together, the events of my life interlocking in a way that made perfect sense. I wasn’t incapable of change, I just didn’t know how to let real change into my life. It involved taking action on my own behalf. It involved not looking outside of myself for the change as I had always done—filling my life with so much doing that I had no energy left for anything else, nothing left for myself—but by looking inside. The old frantic, neurotic self was an attempt to keep the truth at bay, but it wasn’t until I turned inward, away from who I’d become in the outer world, that things changed. My perspective on everything changed, just as it had done when I was a child. From a new angle the entire universe suddenly took on a new look and new meaning. Suddenly, nothing was impossible!

So, how do we become the change we want to see? We take action. We change ourselves, from the inside out. Instead of looking at everyone else, blaming, resenting, regretting, whining and moaning about how bad we have it and how everyone else is against us, or doesn’t notice or respect us, the best thing we can possibly do for ourselves is to shut down all of that and be okay with finding out who we really are.

Are we really powerless? Why do we feel so entitled? Who says we’re not capable or worthy? Who says we’re hopeless failures? How did we get where we are? Whose voice rattles through our head, putting us down, keeping us safe and contained? Is that how we want to live? Can we let go of our resentments? Can we free ourselves of our old ideas? Can we take full responsibility for our own life? Can we think for ourselves?

I continue to seek new perspectives, to do things differently, to consider different ideas and to take action to change myself. It’s not that hard. Read something new. Take a walk. Movement alone can bring in much needed energy, offering new fresh air into the brain and body, opening up long dormant synapses. Learn to play, sing, take up a musical instrument. Eat differently. Think in a new way. Look at life from a new angle. Hang upside down every now and then and get a new perspective on the world. Be the change you want to see by changing yourself!

Eternally in metamorphosis,
Jan