Tag Archives: recapitulation

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: What Is It & How Do You Do It?

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You never know where the path might lead... Art by Jan Ketchel
You never know where the path might lead…
Art by Jan Ketchel

There are many paths to take, many healing journeys. We must find what suits us best and stick with it if we are to overcome our issues and anxieties and evolve.

As Deng Ming-Dao* writes: “We are increasingly aware of the many different spiritual practices all over the world. And new practices are being created out of the resulting diversity. That is right. It only stands to reason that all, even the most tradition-bound practices were originally created at one time. There should be no stigma attached to spiritual practices that evolve in our lifetime—methods don’t have to be from dead people in order to be valid. But once we find a way, we should stay with it resolutely and not have anxieties about other people’s paths.“

He goes on to say: “It is healthy to explore other disciplines. If nothing else, the elements in common can give you fresh and interesting perspectives on your own practices. But we should not flit from one discipline to another. Ecumenical explorations are fine, but they are best done from a firm base of the practices that best suit you.“

No other psychotherapist that we know of has linked the ancient practice of recapitulation in a clinical setting the way Chuck has, a process that naturally evolved as he studied the Magical Passes of Tensegrity as introduced to the world by Carlos Castaneda. Castaneda, for his part, released them to the public, to anyone who was interested. In so doing, he sent them on their way, energetically, into new life. Recapitulation has found new life in a clinical therapeutic setting, even though Castaneda’s group distinctly stated that recapitulation was not psychotherapy. As Chuck discovered, however, it surely does have its place within the context of a holistic therapeutic setting.

We are all spiritual beings, made up of energy. As we are born, grow up, and live our lives in human form we gradually lose touch with the essence of who we truly are. From birth we are indoctrinated with the idea that there is only one reality—this one on earth—and that when we die, if we do things right, we will go to heaven. That’s pretty much the standard fare offered by all religions around the world. But who are we really? What are we really?

We are multidimensional beings. We are thinking, feeling, conscious beings as Chuck wrote about in his last blog. We know ourselves, however, most commonly as dense matter. We can get caught there and forget that we are vibrant energy, awareness eager to escape the confines of the human condition, open to exploration beyond the body and beyond the confines of our indoctrination. Though we all have access to this energetic self in out-of-body exploration as we sleep and dream, our experiences often do not cross over into daily awareness. They lose their magic upon awakening, for the most part lost to conscious consideration. Some people are peripherally aware that there is something else to life, others more so, actually exploring, while still others just can’t quite go there yet, wanting surety, scientific proof. But that kind of proof can only come in daring the self to continually explore and to hold onto the experiences as the truth of who we really are.

The real path is the journey within, into the complexities of the dark and the light of the deepest inner self... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
The real path is the journey within, into the complexities of the dark and the light of the deepest inner self…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

As I write about in my books, I suffered well into adulthood thinking that there was something wrong with me. Indeed there was! I was caught in my human form. All that it had been through weighed on me like a ton of bricks. I believe we all feel the same way, that we all feel isolated, afraid, ashamed and vulnerable. It wasn’t until I found my way to the process of recapitulation, within that clinical setting that Chuck had realized was possible, that I also began to experience exploration beyond the body in a totally new, acceptably healthy way.

So what is this path of recapitulation? It is a pathway to going into the body self to explore and resolve all issues and beliefs so that seamless, unattached transcendence from the physical self may occur. It is, simply put, a means of shedding the physical form—in all its multidimensionality—so that we may gain access to our awareness, our spiritual essence, the truth of who we all really are. This essence has no form, no belief system, no agenda; it simply is. That might sound pretty abstract, but once the shedding begins all of that starts to make a lot of sense. The big step along the path is the first one, to simply let the self begin the journey, to be open to where it leads.

The Shamans of Ancient Mexico did recapitulation in a cave or other remote dwelling, isolating themselves from the world so they could be undisturbed as they recapitulated. Taisha Abelar,* a cohort of Carlos Castaneda’s, used a cave and then a tree house, writing a fascinating book about her experiences. Victor Sanchez, a controversial progenitor of Castaneda’s works, suggests constructing and sitting in a box. I, on the other hand, believe that we ourselves are the cave, the tree house or the box, that everything we need is inside us, that our human form, that which we seek to transcend, is also the gateway to our transcendent experiences.

It’s pretty impractical for most of us to disappear into a box for any length of time, or to find a cave to repeatedly return to. And, much as we might like to, how many of us are really ready to climb a tree and live in a treehouse for months on end. We may not have been chosen to train in the traditional fashion, but that does not mean that it is not our path as well. We are still free to choose the path of recapitulation if we come upon it and it feels right.

In fact, we recapitulate all the time, in the course of living our everyday lives. We recall memories, get triggered, have sensory experiences. If we think about it, recapitulation is really a natural part of life, flowing through us daily. How often have we sat, lost in a memory, really there, sensing and feeling it again. Recapitulation asks us to do just that, but this time to be the observer as well as the participant, to look at everything from a new and fresh perspective. Over time we begin to see our past experiences as part of the network of our lives, fitting neatly into the fabric of who we are, what has made us the beings we are today. As we weave that network together from a new perspective, a bigger picture develops, and we begin to experience ourselves as more than just our human self and our experiences. We actually begin to experience ourselves as energy.

We all have the capacity to bloom! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We all have the capacity to bloom!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

As Deng Ming-Dao states, there are many spiritual paths and we must choose one that suits us. Then we must resolutely walk it. I personally have found my deepest and most rewarding path out of the physical to indeed be recapitulation. I use it daily so that my practice of meditation—my cave/tree/box—takes me beyond the body with ease and gentleness. The physical human form that we all reside in on this plane is our transformational vehicle, yet how can we sit and meditate if we are tormented by a mental state that does not let us sit still for very long!

In my experience, recapitulation offers a most valuable tool. It is the first gateway to accessing our energetic essence. Beyond that, with practice, resolutely walking the path of our choice, we can and will achieve our energetic essence. It’s just a matter of daring ourselves to take the journey, that first step the hardest and most frightening, and then sticking with it!

On the recapitulation path,
Jan

*Notes and Quotes: Deng Ming-Dao’s book is Everyday Tao and Taisha Abelar’s book is The Sorcerer’s Crossing.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Shedding Ancestral Baggage

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Seeking the road to wholeness and freedom... - Photo by Chuck Ketchel
Seeking the road to wholeness and freedom…
– Photo by Chuck Ketchel

We are born with ancestral baggage. We are attached to and burdened by the energy of our ancestors, our families of origin, and our life’s circumstances. We pass this burdensome energy onto our children and all who come into contact with us. We will suffer until we free ourselves. Others too will suffer until we free ourselves.

When spirit calls, it is asking us to free ourselves of our emotional baggage, our physical attachments, our mental constraints, and our spiritual limitations. It asks us to methodically unburden ourselves, to face the truths of our lives with utter honesty and humility. It asks us to question who we truly are, why we think the way we do, and if our thoughts really reflect the deepest truths of who we are. In 2001 I finally paid attention to that call from my spirit. I met Chuck and began the process of reclaiming my true self, the person I always knew I really was but was so afraid to be. I kept this person hidden.

As an artist I found a means for her to live, as I discovered I could covertly reveal her personality, her innocence and her darkness alike. In expressing myself as an artist anything was acceptable. Over the years I knew there was a lot more, a deeper level that even my artist self was not willing to enter. In the caverns of my soul lay the untouchable self. Alongside her lay the wretched remnants of that which could not be spoken.

Although this self was unknown to me, she flashed up every now and then, freaking me out, sending me deeper into the river of depression that flowed through my life. Eventually, I knew I would need to address her, or at least the feelings that I could not handle and the crumbling of the world I was trying to uphold. That was the beginning of my recapitulation process.

When I first met Chuck, he and Jeanne were deeply immersed in the shaman’s world, specifically that of Carlos Castaneda and the practice of Tensegrity, going to workshops around the world on a regular basis. When Chuck learned the recapitulation sweeping breath he noticed that it’s bilateral movement was similar to the bilateral aspects of EMDR, a trauma treatment process that he’d been studying. Quick intuitive that he is, he immediately saw the clinical potential of recapitulation. His hunch was to prove true.

I have just published the third volume in the Recapitulation Diaries series, Into the Vast Nothingness. This is the continuation of the recapitulation journey that I unknowingly embarked on when I met Chuck on that fateful day in 2001. I say “unknowingly” because I didn’t know that it was what I was going to be doing. As we worked together the process unfolded, the journey took us, though Chuck was deeply aware of it, always patiently waiting for me to find my way. Eventually, the word “recapitulation” became synonymous with the work I was doing; there was no other word to describe it.

I reveal just about everything about myself in my books. I see no value in holding back because I know there is someone else out there with similar baggage who might be helped. I offer my books as incentives to unburdening, even if only privately and in the safety of one’s own inner world.

The shamanic practice of recapitulation, however, comes with its own powerful energy. It has a habit of infiltrating into life. It asks us in a myriad of ways, just like spirit, to examine ourselves minutely. It asks us to face our deepest selves, presenting us with new ways of seeing, asking us to deal with what we no longer need in our lives. As we shed the old baggage, we discover that there isn’t really that much of our old world or our old self that need accompany us forward.

Just as I reveal my deepest self in my books, I don’t hold back about the difficulties of the journey either. Recapitulation is a difficult road, a solitary and lonely journey, but it’s a thorough means of achieving the great unburdening that our spirit asks of us. It’s a choice that we make or refuse, but it’s really only a choice if we know exactly what it is that we are choosing or refusing. Do we take the journey to freedom and wholeness or do we continue to carry the baggage of our lives, ancestral and otherwise? As Chuck always told me: When you are ready the journey will meet you and if you are not ready then wait, it will catch up with you soon enough!

At one point during my recapitulation, I realized I was carrying more than just my own depression. I was carrying the depression of generations of women in my family, that ancestral baggage! I no longer wanted to be the bearer of it. It did not belong to me! And furthermore, I did not want my children burdened by that which did not belong to them either, but I knew I could only free them by freeing myself. In freeing myself, I am able to free them to face life on their own terms, free to be who they are truly meant to be. They do not need to uphold the ancestral world, at least not because of me.

There are many tools to spiritual awareness. Recapitulation is a deep and lasting tool to unburdening the self, not only of that ancestral baggage that we all carry, but everything else that holds our spirit back from truly living.

Cover of Volume 3 of The Recapitulation Diaries
Cover of Volume 3 of The Recapitulation Diaries

I send another book out into the world. In publishing Into the Vast Nothingness, I free myself of attachment to it, even as I hope that others will find it and read it, because I wish for others to be free too. I hope you will read the books and learn that everything can be spoken about, everything can be talked about in the right, safe setting, and everything can be let go of.

Should you feel inclined, I invite you to write reviews of the books, as what you say may help others as they seek not only to heal from their traumas, but to heal from the ancestral traumas we all carry too. May your own journeys be journeys of freedom.

Blessings on your journey,
Jan

Here is a link to the new Book: Into the Vast Nothingness in our Store.

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Of Witches & Pyres

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Is it really spring? The last vestiges of the old season will soon melt away... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Is it really spring?
The last vestiges of the old season
will soon melt away…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I lived in Sweden in the 1970s. One day there was a knock at the apartment door. I answered it and saw three little girls standing there.

Dressed in long skirts, with kerchiefs around their heads and brightly painted red cheeks, they held out copper kettles, singing something indecipherable in lilting voices. It looked a lot like Halloween to me, but it was Pink Thursday, the day before Good Friday.

Luckily, I was baking cookies for the guests who would be arriving the next day. I couldn’t speak Swedish very well at the time, so I held up a finger—wait a sec—and went into the kitchen to grab a handful of warm chocolate chip cookies, a rarity in Sweden at the time. (I’d had the chocolate chips sent to me by my parents as they were not available there.)

“Kakor?” I asked, reappearing with cookies in hand.

“Ja!” they replied, quite happily.

Grabbing the cookies they gobbled them down, making pleasing sounds while I smiled at them and nodded, saying, “Ja, ja,” or something like that. We waved goodbye as they turned to knock on my neighbor’s door. I shut the door and ran back into the kitchen, just in time to rescue the next batch of cookies from being burned in the oven.

Those little girls were enacting a tradition, playing the witches who supposedly cavorted with the devil on that day; all part of the springtime rituals, I was to learn. Usually coins were placed in the tea kettles but, as I told my husband, those little girls didn’t mind the cookies at all!

A few weeks later, at the end of April, another spring ritual was enacted. We’d traveled to spend a few days with my in-laws at their summer house on the West coast of Sweden. A bonfire ensued, the natural consequences of doing winter cleanup of the yard, but this too had significance. It was Walpurgis Night, the annual ritual to greet spring’s arrival. Many bonfires were lit that night along the coast, songs were sung and a lot of alcohol, another part of the tradition, was consumed.

It was the first time I was being exposed to ancient traditions outside of those of my Catholic upbringing. I found them intriguing. It was an eyeopener that nature itself was not only leading the way, but was actually being celebrated as the most significant guide in breaking through to new life. It made perfect sense to me, but I’d never encountered it before. Everyone knew the ritual, and everyone participated. Without judgment, it was a tradition that just was, nature allowed its place in a celebratory, honest, and most practical manner. As that Walpurgis Night fire burned, the ritual of the witches cavorting with Satan made perfect sense too. All of a sudden, I understood that nature was a real and powerful ally and entity, and it needed to be paid attention to, honored, and reckoned with.

Light the ritual pyre... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Light the ritual pyre…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I’m ready for my own bonfire now. It’s been on my mind that we should have a fire soon in our outdoor pit. The idea has been stirring for weeks, as we’ve waited for the snow to melt so that we could actually see the fire pit! It’s time to intentionally enact the ancient ritual of shedding and burning that which we no longer need. It’s time to begin anew.

Last night I dreamed. My skin was cracking and peeling away. Not like skin that has been sunburned and peels in thin layers. No, this skin was about an inch or two thick. It was old crusty skin. I knew, as I dreamed, that it symbolized that which is no longer necessary, a protective layer that no longer has any use. I was wearing it for no good reason, only out of habit. Beneath the thick old skin lies new pink skin, the tender, innocent and true self. It’s time to fully expose her, to let her live all the time, not just when it feels safe or appropriate, because I suddenly understood that it is always appropriate to live from the tender and real self.

My dream reminded me of a dream I’d had when doing my recapitulation. At that time I’d dreamed of removing a layer of the same kind of thick crusty skin from the soles of my feet. I still cringe as I recall peeling it off only to find beautiful pink soles underneath. In that dream, I put the crusty soles back on because I still had a lot of recapitulation work to do. But it was enough to know what lay in store for me, the innocent and pure self revealed by those tender pink soles. I wasn’t ready at the time to do more than hold the secret of this true self, but last night’s dream tells me that I’m more than ready now. I’ve been walking on the soles of that tender self for a long time now, but as my dream tells me, it’s time to shed everything else I’ve used to keep her protected and let her fully live!

And so, in celebration of spring, I intend to shed the trappings and ideas of an old self. I intend to set upon the altar that which is no longer necessary or desirable. In lighting the pyre, I intend to sacrifice that which oppresses and keeps me from experiencing my fuller self, all the thoughts and ideas that no longer belong in my life. I also set the intent to no longer hide the pure tender soul of who I am. I will be burning that crusty old coat of skin that I no longer need to wear!

In the melting away of the last coating of ice and snow... the true beauty, struggling to fully live... is revealed... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
In the melting away of the last coating of ice and snow…
the true beauty, struggling to fully live…
is revealed…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I will allow nature to be my guide, both through this ritual burning and in the next steps. I have no idea where I’m going, but in this shedding and burning process I declare that I am open, willing, and ready for new life.

We’ve all come so far in our lives and in our work. Let us not be held back. Let us light the fire on the altar and raise a glass to nature and to spring, to renewal of the true self, and many happy new beginnings.

As I light the fire and raise a glass to spring, I hope you will too,
Jan

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: The Path Will Appear

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When we are ready the path will appear... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
When we are ready the path will appear…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

If you have read my first two books in The Recapitulation Diaries series, you know that the recapitulation journey that I undertook was often a painful process, peppered with memories and mental and physical anguish as I searched deeply within myself for explanations for why I felt so disconnected from and reluctant to experience life. I was really on a search for my spiritual self but also my authentic self, as I sought to live life on my own terms, fully safe in the world as my true self.

All of that might sound pretty esoteric, as it certainly sounded to me when I began my journey. I had only a vague idea what a true self might entail and I had no idea what it meant to do a recapitulation, and all of that esoteric talk frightened me as much as my memories did. It wasn’t until the journey was well underway that I began to embrace the esoteric lingo, for nothing else was available to describe what I was going through. Even the esoteric words I grasped at did little to convey the true depth of the mind-blowing experiences I began having.

In my next book, Into the Vast Nothingness, all that I had been working toward finally began to unfold. Ever-increasing and evermore intense episodes of breakthrough in both dreams and waking reality began to affect me on the deepest levels. By the middle of the second year of my journey, although still recalling and working through memories, experiences of the transcendent began to increase and often supersede the memory blitzes. The recapitulation went way beyond the recalling of a childhood of sexual abuse and revealed itself as the means to achieving true transformation.

I began to perceive of the recapitulation as absolutely necessary. More than just a deep self-study, the recapitulation transformed as I transformed. It offered the means to discovering not only who I was in this world, but who I had been for millennia. All of a sudden it seemed, I was granted access to ancient knowledge and a vast perspective that had I stayed my depressed and frightened old self I would never have experienced.

Who is really in control? - Art by Jan Ketchel
Who is really in control?
– Art by Jan Ketchel

As I took the journey, I often stopped to thank myself for being so daring and brave, for doing the most frightening thing I had ever done: face myself. Facing myself meant dismantling myself down to the essence of who I really was, letting go of ideas and identities, rules and constructs that I thought I needed. It meant staying the course no matter what came to thwart me.

It meant withstanding the tensions and frustrations of what the recapitulation confronted me with, everything from painful memories and vivid dreams, to struggles and confrontations in daily life.

And yes, in dismantling the old self, in breaking down my ego, I finally did meet that spiritual self I had so longed to connect with. But far more importantly, I was granted access to experiencing myself as universal consciousness, as part of the oneness of everything, as simply energy taking a dip into this world for as long as I needed, in order to learn what I needed to learn. There’s all that esoteric talk again!

I learned that I had to live out the life of a sexually abused child until I no longer needed to, until I could say, “Enough! I’m done with playing that game!” It was at that point that reincarnation and the lives we live in this world became totally clear and acceptable to me. I “knew” that I had found the key to life in this world, the answer to the mystery: Why are we here? Well, I discovered that we were here until we don’t need to be anymore. And then a new kind of peace reigned and a new kind of motivation took over, and then the recapitulation and I were more perfectly aligned, for I had glimpsed the real truth and the real purpose of my life on this earth: to keep transforming.

Am I really connected to the worms and the water in this little stream? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Am I really connected to the worms
and the water in this little stream?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

If one is truly ready to transform, the path will appear. I offer my thoughts, my books, my weekly blogs as incentives to the transformational being inside all of us.

May your path take you to your own truths and may you find your own answers to the meaning of your life. Good Luck!

Staying the course,
Jan

My next book, Into the Vast Nothingness, is in its final stages and will be published soon! Thanks for reading!

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Contentment

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Who is your real jailer? - Art by Jan Ketchel
Who is your real jailer?
– Art by Jan Ketchel

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison. His ability to find contentment and meaning throughout those years prepared him to come to power in his seventies and transform a nation.

We are all in our private prison, contained within the four walls of our private karma, the central meaning of our life. The limitations imposed by our deepest challenges may prevent us from experiencing joy, safety, freedom and love. Our private prison, like Mandela’s prison, may severely limit our fulfillment through the most fruitful years of our lives.

We may find ourselves caught in swirls of sorrow, doubt, depression and deep self-pity. These are all necessary encounters, reminders of the transpersonal spirit that seeks to fly freely beyond the prison walls of our discontent. Our deepest sorrow is the song of the bird of freedom that beckons us to sing its tune.

When we recapitulate, we squarely face our karmic fixation. What happened in life that separated us from our spirit, that sent us into the desert of our discontent? Reliving, recollecting, and reprocessing the experiences of our lives ultimately releases us to the freedom of our spirit’s fulfillment. And this process, like Mandela’s, might take decades; no easy road to freedom.

But we needn’t attach to the outcome of our recapitulation process. Instead, we can focus on contentment in this moment, in every moment, through the breath. Buddhist meditation uses the breath. Yogic meditation uses the breath. Shamanic recapitulation uses the breath.

Simply focus awareness on the breath in this moment. Passively observe it without interference. Direct it at will. Gently deepen it. Focus it on the throat, on the solar plexus, on the perineum, on the big toe!

Count, to rhythmically align with the breath. Hold the breath; release it. Bring it to the tensest part of the body and allow it to gently penetrate and soften. Breathe rapidly if that feels right, fully releasing energy that has long been held in. Or breathe ever so softly, with loving tenderness.

Emancipation is but a breath away! - Art by Jan Ketchel
Emancipation is but a breath away!
– Art by Jan Ketchel

Placing awareness on the in-breath, on the inhalation of air—prana/life force/spirit—allows it to fill the body with its energy and vibration. Releasing the old stuck energies deeply stored in the body as we exhale brings contentment to each moment of our lives. The more we breathe with awareness, the deeper we breathe with awareness, the more we realize our deepest intent—to advance our spirit beyond its karmic containment into new life, full of contentment!

Simply breathing,
Chuck

As Bob Marley sings in Redemption Song: “Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds.