Tag Archives: detachment

Chuck’s Place: Attachments Anonymous

We are all students in Earth School! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We are all students in Earth School!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Earth is the Planet of Attachment. Earth School teaches us to securely attach our spirit selves to our physical animal selves—with its myriad of physical needs and desires—and, ultimately, to relinquish all our physical attachments as we return to our pure spirit selves enriched with the fruits of our earthly journey.

The crown jewel of achievement from that Earth School journey is attachment refined, transformed into its highest vibration: love.

Attachment and detachment are the themes of the curriculum of Earth School. Once we master those themes we graduate to new adventures, graduate schools of our liking in greater infinity, enriched and fueled by compassionate love in its eternal form, having been prepared, through our hard work in Earth School, to accompany us on our continued expansive journey in infinity.

Given these considerations, I feel justified in assigning Earth School the title of Attachments Anonymous, extending the twelve-step model to all sentient beings, as we are all on the same journey, seeking to achieve loving kindness, compassion, and detachment.

I recently consulted the I Ching around this issue and received hexagram #24: Return, the Turning Point. In this hexagram, one yang line sits beneath five yin lines. This preponderance of yin is the Earth, the dark solid planet of attachment, all things physical. Emerging from below is thunder, spirit that rumbles beneath the Earth.

The hexagram depicts the cyclical challenge of Earth School, life lived in the patterns of the seasons. We see in our own lives and behaviors the cyclical patterns of our attachments, such as to food, drink, sex, money, power, security, shopping, texting, fear, anger, sadness, carnal and dependent love, to name but a few.

All of our attachments manifest in cyclical patterns of seeking, obtaining, consuming, or lamenting. Even refusing is its own addictive adventure of control, as the “dry drunk” syndrome illustrates.

Spirit always finds a way to alert us... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Spirit always finds a way to alert us…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

There is no escaping addiction, which is really a frenzied state of attachment that we all suffer from and are dominated by at some point in our lives. Addiction provides the core course material of Earth School. Save all guilt and self-blame; if you are here you are in it! Even Christ and Buddha had to go through Earth School.

Hexagram #24 teaches us that the cyclic pattern of attachments NATURALLY gives rise to one moment in the cycle when spirit, on its own, makes an appearance and shakes us from our attachments. Here lies the opportunity to advance beyond compulsion of attachment—this is the Turning Point.

The usual course of all habits is like the seasons, as they too return to the same patterns. But the spirit side of ourselves, in consort with our consciousness, through collaboration, can actually transform an attachment into spiritual advancement. For example, a compulsion might find a new home in loving compassion.

This is why the twelve-step program suggests turning to one’s higher power for help, to enrich one’s struggle with grace and lift the compulsion to a positive level. The I Ching describes this process in the moving line in the third place in hexagram #24, as follows:

“There are people of a certain inner instability who feel a constant urge to reverse themselves. There is danger in continually deserting the good because of uncontrolled desires, then turning back to it again because of a better resolution. However, since this does not lead to habituation in evil, a general inclination to overcome the defect is not wholly excluded.”

The suggestion here is that the usual course of affairs—becoming buried in hungry desirousness—has the possibility of being transcended, if one can access one’s spirit at the turning point.

We can all rise up! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We can all rise up!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The turning point offers the opportunity of renewal through rest (compulsion lifted), tender care (compassion for all parts of the self), and flowering, as the spirit of kundalini energy naturally rises to the level of the heart. This is not hungry heart, but a heart full of loving compassion.

Spirit rising to the heart center is the spiritual refinement of the earthly self, the body self, which is granted enhanced life beyond its time in earthly form, in the formlessness of pure spirit love.

This is graduation from Earth School with the highest honors!

Studying hard,
Chuck

Lessons in a Life: The Journey Through Detachment To Compassion

Chuck and I were sitting in a favorite spot one night recently, talking quietly about the events of the day. I had a pain. Persistent and relentlessly present it had bothered me all day. I am not one to complain, nor do I often have an affliction, but this one had gotten its claws into me and would not let go. Chuck was aware. My countenance alone was enough for him to know.

A Portrait of Detachment & Compassion... - Artist unknown
A Portrait of Detachment & Compassion…
– Artist unknown

As we talked I glanced up at a print on the wall, a portrait of the Virgin Mary. I post it here so you can see it for yourself. I had always noticed how detached she seemed, this beautiful being, as painted by the artist. Her gaze is a little to the side and down. She does not look directly at the viewer. In her heart chakra sits a large and fiery heart, radiant it sends out beams of light. Though she is not touching the heart, the Virgin’s hands nonetheless keep it exposed.

Even while being present in the room with Chuck, another part of me—the Observer Self or High Self—began an interaction with the portrait. “You seem so detached,” I said. “How can you be so detached and yet be the healer that you are? People have flocked to you, prayed to you, begged to be healed, to be forgiven, to be made whole. Look at me. I’m in pain. Will you take pity on me and heal me? Right now?”

My innocence reached out. Within seconds I felt a change taking place in my body. Chuck noticed it too. “You’re getting better,” he said, with certainty. “Yes, I am,” I said, though I did not tell him of my telepathic conversation with the Virgin Mary. Instead, I started to doubt. Perhaps all the herbal remedies and the meditative exercises I had been doing all day, the Netting that I had written about several weeks ago and other exercises in detaching from negative energies were finally kicking in. But as soon as the doubt arose my High Self spoke up very loudly: “Cut it out! Face the truth and thank her!”

This time, as I turned to the portrait, I noticed that the Virgin was gazing right into my eyes and that her own eyes were filled with compassion. Instantly, I understood that only in learning detachment could she possibly be available to help others, that all of her energy had to be directed to her heart center, her focus always on placing her attention, intent, and energy there, for that was where she worked from. It was a place of vast energetic power. I saw that if she remained attached to anyone or anything in this world her energy would be compromised and her work would suffer.

“You really are a goddess,” I silently said to her, “the Goddess, Gaia, Earth Mother, feminine energy supreme. Though you have been categorized and labeled as something else, you are so much more than the portrait on the wall depicts you as. You have succeeded at what we are all seeking, how to be detached so that our energy may be directed into compassionate living, into the work of compassion.”

She is an example of how to be fully detached and fully loving and compassionate beings. Though her son had died she held no malice toward anyone. She turned her anger, her sorrow, her regret into something good. She did not stay attached to the things of this world. We are all aware of her many miracles, her appearances at Lourdes, Fatima, and most recently in 1981 in Medjugorje, in what is now Bosnia.

We all embody the same innocent light of dawn... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We all embody the same innocent light of dawn…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

As I look at her looking at me, I know that everything I have learned through my connection with Jeanne is true, that we are all goddesses too, male and female, that we all have within us the same compassionate energy, the ability through sustained focus on the energy of the heart chakra to become fully compassionate healers too. It is her mission to teach us this through her own work, still taking place throughout the world.

It is not that easy to manifest in this world, Jeanne tells me today as I write this blog, to appear as the Virgin Mary has done over the centuries. If it were that easy, she says, there would be many more sighting of the great enlightened ones, and so they seek to connect and work in energetic ways. That’s why it’s so important for us to lose our self-importance and reach out, to let our innocence out of safekeeping so that it may act on our behalf.

We are all capable of this energetic contact and this directed compassion. Jeanne herself tells us this over and over again, that we are all Psychic Beings. I learned, from my recent interactions with the portrait on the wall, that to awaken this aspect in ourselves we must first achieve detachment.

Detachment means that we are not caught by anything in this world, that our energy is totally removed from everything that entices us—from sadness and self-pity, greed and longings, attachments to family or being special—the gamut of all that keeps us bound to life on earth. Our real life awaits us in energetic form. We must wake up to the truth that we can have access to that energy now, if we dare to take the journey through detachment to compassion.

Once we’ve achieved detachment, and maintain it, our energy will be fully available for the much needed work of compassion, of energetic healing and communication. I know it’s possible and that it works; I’ve done it myself. Though I am in no way perfect, I have had enough experiences to know that a path with heart is a path of detachment as well.

Rarely have I asked for compassion for myself, but my innocence was not going to let me decide the other day. It had something to show me, how energy really is all that matters, and purified energy radiating from the heart chakra, the energy of compassion, is the only way to go if we are to impact and change the world. By learning what it means to detach we sidestep getting caught by anything in this world. Through sustained and diligent attendance to where we put our energy we not only can have impact, but it becomes increasingly clear that we are all equally deserving of compassion and that everyone, even the most hardened criminal, though seriously misguided, is innocent at the core.

Perhaps my experiences will strike a chord. Perhaps your own innocence might have something to show you. Trust it. That’s all I can say, and then see what happens!

At our core is the fire of compassion... - Photo by Chuck Ketchel
At our core is the fire of compassion…
– Photo by Chuck Ketchel

I also feel that it is significant to mention that Chuck bought the portrait of the Virgin in Vatican City a few days after Jeanne had died while he was waiting for her body to be cremated in Switzerland. Jeanne had told him and their children that she would always live in their hearts. When he saw the painting that was what he was thinking. He brought the portrait home in his suitcase, nestled next to Jeanne’s ashes.

From the Holy City, a place of such powerful energy, this portrait of a loving and compassionate heart traveled here, and we have been under its gaze ever since. It is finally time to tap into its energy and its message. I pass it on.

With love and compassion,
Jan

A Day in a Life: Searching For Meaning

Our little visitor... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Our little visitor…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Last Sunday, a female pheasant flew into our yard and began eating the seeds on the ground, fallen there from the bird feeders we have hanging in a tree. We noticed her limping and detected an injured foot, though her wings were intact and she flew just fine. She has since stayed.

We see her every morning, as she comes out from wherever she spends the cold nights to eat her fill. There is plenty of seed on the ground, a thick carpet, tossed there by the smaller birds as they perch and peck at the feeders. The larger birds take advantage of this arrangement. Everyone is happy.

Carlos Castaneda once moved a small snail from a sidewalk and put it into the bushes on the opposite side, fearing that the snail would be crushed by someone inadvertently stepping on it, but he learned something new from his teacher that day. Here is what he wrote about the incident in The Second Ring of Power:

“Don Juan pointed out that my assumption was a careless one, because I had not taken into consideration two important possibilities. One was that the snail might have been escaping a sure death by poison under the leaves of the vine, and the other possibility was that the snail had enough personal power to cross the sidewalk. By interfering I had not saved the snail but only made it lose whatever it had so painfully gained.”

And so, taking such insight into consideration, we have chosen not to interfere with the pheasant. We have learned that it is better to let nature take its course unimpeded by human intervention. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but we have also learned that no matter what we do to help someone or something, in the end we really have little impact. We know that everyone will do what they want and what they are ready for, no matter how ardent, concerned, and loving our help or suggestions might be. We have experienced this often enough both personally and professionally. When people are ready, they will take the journey that is right for them to take.

So we watch the little pheasant with fascination, for her intrepid spirit, marveling that she found her way to our yard, and of course, wondering what it might mean for us personally. How could we not?

She offers us pause to consider other times when we have been put in similar positions, when the unexpected arrives on our doorstep, unbidden. Life is full of surprises. We get news of something, we get asked to do something, we get offered something. We must make conscious decisions.

Everybody's happy with the arrangement...  - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Everybody’s happy with the arrangement…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Sometimes decisions come spontaneously, and whether they are right or wrong we act instinctively. At other times a decision does not come so quickly and we must ponder why. We must ask: What is the right decision to make and why is it right? Who will benefit or not, and to what end?

We are loving and compassionate people, but we also know that everyone has a journey to take, and that each person’s journey is unique and special. We know that each person must learn to make choices and decisions for themselves, that they will learn about life in both their successes and failures. Sometimes it is right to help; sometimes it is best to step out of the way. The decision to help and the decision to step out of the way are each difficult to make. Based on each circumstance, what we elect to do for another may propel them forward or keep them stuck. We want everyone to access the limitless resources within themselves and often the best way to do that is to step out of the way.

And so we watch our little pheasant with sheer pleasure. How resourceful she is! The cats that roam the neighborhood are no match for her. She is alert and quick. She flies up into the trees when danger approaches, fully capable of taking care of herself. She takes advantage of the sunny spots during the day. We see her sitting up against the warm brick front of the house, safely tucked behind the wall of snow that has formed over the past week by the gusty winds. She is, after all, a creature of nature and is instinctively drawn to the healing power of the sun.

She must be getting enough food. And although we give her nothing more than we give to the other birds we do send her our energetic intent. We send her our full energetic support as she takes her own journey. The outcome is up to her. We do not judge her choices; after all, she landed on our doorstep, and so we thank her for coming into our life, offering us the opportunity to observe her and to search for meaning in her visitation.

Synchronistically, and so not surprisingly, we find that we have been offered many opportunities over the past week to make some meaningful decisions. Is it time to help, or time to step out of the way?

Sometimes helping another living being means standing back and letting them take the next leg of their journey on their own. This might be the hardest choice we ever make. But we can send them off with loving energetic encouragement and good wishes that they make mature and reasonable decisions that will lead them beyond mere survival to new stages of evolution.

Basking in some rays... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Basking in some rays…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

At some point we all have to choose a path, and so we fully support everyone’s search for meaning and for their own path of heart. Sometimes it’s enough to say: “Go ahead, you can do it! You’re on your own now! Good luck! Life is waiting to receive you!”

Letting nature takes its course without interference, but with compassionate detachment,
Jan

Chuck’s Place: Love & Laughter—Tools Of Detachment

Incredible lightness of being... waiting to be freed... - Photo by Chuck Ketchel
Incredible lightness of being…
waiting to be freed…
– Photo by Chuck Ketchel

If we understand karma to be unfinished business, that which grounds our flight, then we can understand detachment as the necessary tool to free our incredible lightness of being to find fulfillment in this life and beyond. Detachment unhitches us from the energetic drains that keep us tied to people and situations that impede our freedom. Energetic drains take the form of intense emotional attachments, be they fear and hate or, quite the opposite, unrequited love. Either way, attachments keep us tethered, and, until released, we cannot journey deeper into life.

But what are the nuts and bolts of detachment? Often enough, Jan and I write about the formal process of recapitulation to free and reclaim all the entangled energy knotted in the lives we’ve lived. Love and laughter are tools at the heart of the recapitulation journey.

Prior to his assassination, Gandhi had expressed, “Even if I am killed, I will not give up repeating the names Ram and Rahim, which mean to me the same God. With these names on my lips, I will die cheerfully.” He also said, “If I am to die by the bullet of a madman, I must do so smiling. There must be no anger within me. God must be in my heart and on my lips.”

Rahim also means compassion. When Gandhi was actually assassinated, he raised his hands in front of him, in a common gesture of greeting to his assassin. And he did call out to God, according to some accounts, speaking the words “Ram, Ram.” In speaking these words, and with this final gesture, Gandhi forgave his assassin, leaving this world completely untethered to what his assassin had done to him, but also thanking the man for delivering him to the next stop on his journey.

Jesus similarly cried out to God while on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He also left this world completely untethered to his accusers, who delivered him to his future.

From wherever we come, we land; we move into life on this earth. It’s where we are now. If we turn around we turn to stone and can move no further, according to a common concept. Recapitulation, however, requires us to turn around, but with the intent of removing all the energetic strings that keep us bound in regret, anger, sadness, longing, and hate. In retrieving these energetic strings of self, we can turn to the unfolding awesomeness of continuing our journey untethered.

Buddhist wisdom guides all who leave this world to glance only briefly at the bardos of their discontent and stay focused on the light. To remain attached to the emotional ties of our life, loving or traumatic, forms the seeds of our karma and interrupts our journey to spiritual wholeness and enlightenment. Gandhi was well aware of this, as he faced his assassin in the common greeting of respect, namaste, meaning “I bow to you; I bow to the God within you.”

We all travel in and out of the light and the dark all the time... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We all travel in and out of the light and the dark all the time…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

To release emotional attachment to those who harm us frees our karmic load. We are then freed to proceed into new life unburdened by emotional heaviness. Karmic attachment requires us to stay put, until we can free our spirits to move into new life.

The love or compassion that Gandhi and Jesus portrayed transcends the attachments we have to our lives, interrupted as they are by our assassins. Instead, it accepts the reality of our unexpected launching into a different journey. Those that launch us must then grapple with their own karma—for the choice made to act from the dark side. We can extend the love of compassion to them, as they continue their journeys into that karma, and appreciate our own opportunity to free ourselves, at their hand, from attachment to the dark side that would have us stew in powerful emotions. If we look instead to the dark side and send it love—the last thing it wants—it releases its talons from our light being.

Laughter, like love, is equally freeing of energetic bindings. The Shamans of Ancient Mexico discovered that the greatest hook to our energetic selves from the dark side is self-importance. When we are offended by another, or by life circumstances, we are drawn to the seriousness of anger, pain, and resentment. These emotions, though transiently valid and necessary to encounter during recapitulation, are equally capable of keeping us attached to the dark side, for the dark side looks for ways to hook us, to entrap us indefinitely by feeding on the energy of our fixated, negative emotions. We can completely break the chains of these offenses by learning to laugh at ourselves.

We can laugh at our attachment to seriousness. We can laugh at our own human frailty. We can laugh at our tendency to judge the self and other. And we can laugh at the frailty and foolishness of others. If we can find our way to the divine comedy of self and other, we are freed of all karma associated with the injustices we have engaged in and those that have been foist upon us—however serious!

Can we learn to laugh at our predicaments? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Can we learn to laugh at our predicaments?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Love and laugher are powerful tools that, when genuinely engaged in, free us from the binding attachments that tether our fulfillment to our karmic lives. As we exercise these powerful tools, we offer ourselves the opportunity for new and different outcomes. Love and laugh! Try it, and see what happens!

Loving and laughing,
Chuck

A Day in a Life: When Suffering Is Appropriate & Taking Back Our Energy

There is beauty in the darkness too... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
There is beauty in the darkness too…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

It can sometimes be difficult to know what to do when someone we care about deeply is suffering. We want to rush in to help, to fix or to alleviate the suffering in any way we can. We often have a clearer perspective, looking in from the outside, and so we might want to advise or prescribe what we think needs to happen. It’s hard not to judge, criticize, or blame others and think that only we are right. In some cases, however, it’s pretty obvious that help is needed, that immediate attention is called for, and it is appropriate then to give it, but more often than not our input rarely helps. This is a hard fact to accept.

How many times have we told so-and-so that if they don’t stop their destructive behavior they are sure to suffer irreparable damage, even death? Have they really listened, taken in our advice, and changed in any way?

How many times have we been confronted by the dear one who can only whine and blame others for their difficulties? Does it really help to point out to them their own part in creating their suffering situation?

How many times have we sent a needy individual money, only to be called upon again and again with increasingly unrealistic reasons for the monetary need? We have to wonder if we are only enabling them, keeping them in a state of infantile entitlement for our own purposes. We might find it hard to let them fail, but in so doing we are holding them back from creating their own fulfilling life, far beyond anything we could ever provide.

When we rush in to help we often alleviate only our own discomfort and in the process take away from the loved one the full responsibility for taking control of their own lives. We take away their joy in accomplishing what once seemed impossible, what they dream of. We take away their opportunity to encounter what lies deep inside them too, the issues that produce their difficulties and their suffering, what they must face to become mature beings in the world.

Doing the busy work of taking responsibility... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Doing the busy work of taking responsibility…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

If we attempt to solve or fix the lives of others without their full participation, we take away their own responsibility for creating their own lives and taking their own journeys. Often they will fail to fully launch into life. They will remain dependent and needy and thus in our rush to help we have in fact done them a disservice. We deny them the opportunity to experience and face their own troubles as we have had to experience and face ours, for these are the things that help us mature into responsible human beings.

In looking back over our own lives we can track where we too had moments of suffering or crisis and how in dealing with them maturely we have moved beyond them. We had to learn the hard way that if we face what comes to greet us each day, with maturity, sobriety, and pragmatism, we learn that we can handle anything. And that is empowering!

In reality, we are personally better off letting others sit and contemplate their own dilemmas until they get to the moment of decision and determine their own course of action. This can be a tense time, but pretty soon all of our patient waiting pays off.

We might notice how life itself tends to the issues at hand in a most natural way. This natural process may arrive as a perceived disaster, but as things unfold we see that what once was thought of as disastrous is actually the very thing that offers the biggest and most lasting change. How many times have we heard people say that their worst experiences have led them to their most amazing experiences: to the meeting of their true love, to the discovery of their true profession, their true talents? Often our most painful experiences are our most enlightening, leading us into previously unimaginable new life.

If we remain stuck in our role of enabler then our energy remains stuck too. In serving others to the extent that we become energetically depleted, we allow them to take priority over ourselves, and that is not good business nor a good position to be in. If we are drained we have little to keep us going and even less to give. Our spirits recede, our involvement in life decreases and our motivation dies. If we are to remain vital, active, and fully participatory in life, we must take care of how we use our energy.

Energetically freed to really bloom! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Energetically freed to really bloom!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

As we free our energy from perceived duties—duties that we have given ourselves for whatever reason—we are free to live our own lives. If we free our attachment to people, places and things that are no longer useful or important in the life we live now, our energy is returned to us in abundance.

In simplifying our lives by clearing ourselves of both inner and outer encumbrances, we also free others from having to be encumbered by us, by what we think they need or want. And then we are all freed to take our journeys to fulfillment!

There is always some energy-freeing to be done!
Jan