Chuck’s Place: Where Should I Go?

In a recent NPR Alternative Radio podcast, Dark Ages in America, Morris Berman proposed a deeply unsettling identity at the core of the American psyche responsible for the endless wars America finds itself in. A young, thoughtful listener on the brink of deciding where to settle and launch his career is disturbingly affected at the prospect of remaining in America. He asks the question: “Where should I go?”

Berman himself had come to the conclusion that there was no place in America for a peaceful, truth seeking person, though he’d heard of people forging monastic sanctuaries in the midst of hostile territory.

Evil other?

The conclusion of Berman’s exhaustive analysis is that the American “SELF” is actually a composite self, an amalgam of “I the rescuer/savior” and “evil other.” His analysis suggests that America conceives itself as the righteous savior of an evil world. That evil world has been encapsulated by many countries throughout our 200 plus year history, beginning with Great Britain to most recently Iraq, Afghanistan, and Iran. America has always been symbiotically defined by its role of defeating the evil other. America does not have an identity without the evil other. America therefore is a perpetual warrior nation that can’t exist without a war to wipe out “the bad guys.”

It’s interesting to note that a large portion of the American electorate now seem poised to embrace a Mormon president. The driving force in Mormon history was to establish Zion, a Utopian society of the righteous here in America. Zion is actually Jerusalem, the holiest city in Judaism. Mormon narrative identifies with a Jewish narrative, with the building of the New Jerusalem here in America. Americans, from this perspective, can be seen as the true Israelites, the chosen ones charged with freeing the world of the evil other.

Berman argues that America is indeed imploding, turning its warrior identity against itself. The case for this is abundantly clear in the obvious unleashing of warrior energy upon Obama, branded the Muslim infidel, the Muslim other that must be brought down at all costs. This is not a battle based on reason, this is a battle fueled by an almost religious fervor—a battle of Exodus seeking to liberate Americans from the bondage of the infidel, to be restored to its own Zionist roots. This is a battle cry that speaks to the American psyche. A large part of the American electorate appear ready to anoint the Mormon liberator to bring down the “Muslim Infidel.” This is the American Civil War reignited.

Even China now seems ready to call our bluff. In the midst of our deadly infighting we’ve taken our eye off the ball. The truth is likely that it’s not a matter of years before we are surpassed as the dominant economy in the world. The truth is it’s already happened. What is more important to the American psyche at present, despite lip service to the economy, is war, the destruction of perceived evil.

Psychologically, America is an extraverted nation. That means the playing field, that which is considered real and valuable in life, is outside of us in the concrete world. That is why we cling so tightly to unbridled capitalism: the accumulation of objects is the supreme value, the core of how we value ourselves. We are, largely, not an introspective people. Hence, we do not know, value, or reckon with the contents of our own psyches. As a result, we do not know our true nature, with all its contradictions. We do not undertake the mature process of inner reconciliation. To the contrary, when we encounter an evil thought or impulse within ourselves we project it outward, onto some evil other in the world as it becomes our playing field of reconciliation. We then rally around the mission—shock and awe—to subdue the evil other. Meanwhile evil runs rampant and unchecked, wreaking havoc within our own shores, from Wall Street to Main Street.

My response to the question “Where should I go?” is: nowhere. America needs to sit still and face the truth of its own identity. America must take responsibility for its own evil side. We must evolve into a nation that reckons with its own evil versus projecting it and attempting to destroy it somewhere else in the world.

Face the truth?

On a personal level, every American is challenged to face the full truth of who they really are. Where is the Sadam, the Ahmadinejad, the bin Laden—the evil dictator, the terrorist within the self that puts its own self-interest above the needs of the rest of the self? Who within seeks to hoard and control? What attitudes and beliefs rule the self? Is the ego self in full charge? What about the nations of the body self and the spirit self, are they known and included in the governance of the self?

On a collective level we are challenged, as a country, to face the imposition of our own self-interest over the needs of the world and the planet. Who is the biggest consumer of fossil fuels? Who is the greatest backer of big oil? And lest we look to Wall Street to blame, how many of us base our pensions on the success of big oil? Where is our conscience if the stock market affects our income?

Personally, I view the American experiment as I view the human experiment: a work in progress. America is the orphan child that detached itself from its ancient European roots. That rebellious child said it could do it better, as it freed itself from the dying governance of monarchy. America ushered in freedom and new possibility, democracy on a grand scale. This act of defiance advanced the world, but the shadow side of this hubris has been the illusion that we are perfect, as we cast our personal evil outward onto all the other evil empires in the world. Couldn’t get more immature! But with true humility and ownership of our true identity, we can grow into mature adulthood, as a nation and as individuals.

The actual complete answer to “Where should I go?” is nowhere, and then within. Discover and reckon with the full truth of the full self. Change the self; change the country. Mature the self; mature the country.

Though hopelessness has its rightful place in the economy of emotions, is it really a path of heart? This song comes to mind, sung in the 1960s musical HAIR, Where do I go?. Listen to this version from the original Broadway soundtrack: Where do I go?

Staying put,

Chuck

NOTE: No longer available as a free podcast through NPR, here is a link to Alternative Radio’s website should anyone be interested in Morris Berman’s speech.

A Day in a Life: The Evolving Self In Recapitulation

So, as I wrote about last week in Self in Recapitulation, what eventually occurs as the recapitulation journey is taken is that the old self breaks down and a new self begins to form. As this new self grows stronger and more present it becomes clear that old defenses, once so important and necessary, just don’t cut it anymore. The world, we discover, does not have to function as it once did because we don’t need it to. We realize that it’s safe to change and we find that in changing ourselves the changing world finds us quite likable and acceptable in return, greeting us with open arms.

In containment...

Through deep self-exploration and with self in containment—adult self in balance with inner child self, ensconced in a supportive environment—this change occurs over time, naturally, in a process that we can handle. As we take the recapitulation journey, for as long as it takes, we begin to experience a new, expanded self. In bits and pieces or in leaps and bounds this new self presents itself to us in a myriad of ways, in deeply personal inner changes, in our dream work, in our relationships, and in how we handle the vicissitudes of life itself as we make our way in the outer world. Eventually we may discover that this totally new self is someone we never even imagined we could be.

Even while we are deeply entrenched in our recapitulation process we are offered glimpses of what it will mean to become whole and fully present in this world. We are constantly offered moments of magic and awe. If we can accept them purely as such, as instances of a fully present self projected forward, perhaps months or years ahead, we grasp the deeper meaning of change, of what it will mean to finally attain a new self. We grasp what it will mean to assimilate our fragmented self, to integrate all our parts and become whole.

Recapitulation takes work. The first work is in finding an adult self we can work with, within the context of who we are at the moment. We all have a mature adult self inside us somewhere. We all grew up, went to school, got jobs, perhaps became parents ourselves, took on responsibilities of one sort or another. We all have access to a parent self, constructed from what we grew up with perhaps, as I wrote about last week as well. This parent self, no matter where it comes from and how domineering or shaky it may be, is where we start.

Then, as our recapitulation process unfolds, we confront that parent self over and over again, questioning its choices and actions, finding out what they are based on, questioning who is really in control and why. We might find that we don’t really like that parent self, nor do we adhere to its belief system, to its fears, or its needs. We might find that it doesn’t belong to us at all, and then the real work begins as we explore who we truly are as our own separate and unique being.

As we allow ourselves to leave the old world and the old parents behind, acknowledging them for having gotten us this far, we take over our own lives. We become fully responsible, knowing that we alone are enough.

A new self emerges...

There came a point in my own recapitulation when I knew this, that I was indeed all I needed to navigate life, that I was all I needed to be balanced and whole, to be contented, fully responsible, fully present and fully alive. And that was the point when I learned what it meant to love myself, for being who I am, for my daring, adventuresome, strong, and capable self. And then I learned that there was even something more important than self.

Finally freed of old ideas of self, I was then ready to learn what it meant to love another human being, intimately and purely. And in allowing myself to be loved in return, I learned the meaning of universal love, of giving without needing anything at all in return, simply because love is always available to give. I learned how to simply be.

In taking over responsibility for our own journeys and moving forward into life in our own unique way, we have the opportunity to live differently—always—abiding by a new set of proven principles, our own, firmly and forever in alignment with our spirit. We may make some mistakes, even some of the same ones that we’ve made before, and we may have to recapitulate quite a bit of old stuff, but with those moments of magic and awe leading us onward we just keep going, knowing that the world we grew up in was just one aspect of our lives and it does not define who we truly are.

By taking up the challenge of our recapitulation in a mature manner, by answering the call to do deep inner work in full awareness of its many challenges, we allow ourselves to change ourselves and our world. In giving ourselves permission to face, dismantle, and pore over the pieces of our old selves, we move on into new and different life, evolving life, taking with us only that which truly works for us.

In alignment with our spirit’s intent, now with our truths in hand, we find ourselves on a new mission, eager to learn more about life, why we are here and where we are going. Now we know the real value of recapitulation, because we are living it. We are living life more fully, without fear, the world greeting us each new day without fear in return.

Something new...

Each day I learn something new. I learn the lessons I personally need to learn. I learn that we are all students and teachers, parents and children, selfish and selfless, lover and loved alike. Every day, I ask the universe to enlighten me a little bit more, to help me as I continue my journey.

Show me my failings so that I can confront them, I ask. Show me my beauties so I can enhance them. Show me my goodness so I can share it. Show me my magic so I can evolve. Lead me on my journey so I can be of service. Thank you for teaching me to be humble, selfless, and kind.

May we all take our journeys without fear, always open to the path that unfolds before us. May we stop running and hiding long enough to take a breath of something new, aware that one fresh idea is all we may need to begin a new life.

Most humbly offered,

Jan

Readers of Infinity: Fear=Transformational Information

Here is a message from Jeanne.

My Dear Ones, fear is energy. Fear is knowing the truth of the self at a very deep level. If you are looking for signs and guidance, look first at your fears, for that is where your answers to all your questions lie. It’s where the energy of new life lies too. In fear will you find new life and the energy to forge ahead.

Fears are encountered in the strangest of places and ways...

Face your fears and discover your untapped self. Why do you think you have fears to begin with? They come to warn you, not to be afraid but to be aware of something stirring inside you. What is stirring will be deeply personal, a part of the self long suppressed perhaps, or a part of the self totally unknown. It may be the child self asking for attention. It may be the daring spirit self asking for freedom. It may be both of these things at once, an abundance of energy seeking outlet. It is rare, however, that unbridled release of such energy will lead to any real change.

As spring arrives, look at the modern expression of such energy. In the youthful community it tends to be expressed in uninhibited explosion and momentary unleashing with few long-term results. For in such release is there, unfortunately, little deeper understanding of the true need for such expression.

In fact, all of you are deeply attached to nature, far more deeply than you may realize and this is what you contend with at such times of life: primitive self—nature—stirring deeper awareness of ancient spirit as it seeks joining with everyday self. Fears arise as the everyday self is confronted with primitive self. Expression of this confrontation is often suppressed, rejected, or allowed expression that is misaligned with its true intent.

Choose a new word for fear. Perhaps “change” is more appropriate, or perhaps “transformation” is better because the urge for transformation always comes riding in on fear. Shift away from fear as negative and turn it positive. Fear is really a positive sign, your personal sign, the only guidance you need now, and at any time, as you face life, everyday life and inner life as well.

In facing fear—change and transformation—one must be attentive, alert, constantly aware that one is on a journey. A lifetime is one journey, a lifetime in human form, but that is only part of the true journey of self. The other part is infinite, a simultaneous journey being taken, accompanying the everyday self in the everyday world. This infinite journey is full of insight, full of strange and wonderful happenings, offering deep truths about the human journey as well as its own.

The journey of primitive energy in nature

As you take your journey through life, look upon what happens to you as transformational information: synchronicities and signs that come to greet you on a daily basis, asking you to not only note their presence but to find out what they mean about you personally, the deeper you, the infinite you.

Learn to trust the infinite journey that you are all taking while you are also taking the human journey. Facing fears as nothing more than transformational energy will begin a process of greater awareness of these simultaneous journeys that you are all on.

How you take your journey now is important. Are you like a child with this energy of transformation? Well, on the one hand, that is good, but on the other hand it must be balanced by ancient awareness recognizing its deeper meaning and its deeper challenge.

Discover the difference between child-self and innocent-self. Though they are entwined they are deeply different. Ancient awareness asks child energy of fear to join it in maturity, with reverence, and, yes, in release to its true purpose as transformational information.

How does transformational information come to you? How does change approach you? Watch nature for secrets of success as new roots grow now, new shoots appear, and new energy blossoms all around. Nature does not hold back, yet its direction is both deep and wide.

In nature, in all-encompassing, fearless awareness, new life grows and takes precedence. Human children mature naturally on the outside, but it is equally important for them to mature on the inside. That is your human challenge: to take the inner journey to maturity—transformational beyond anything already undergone on the outside, though it will naturally re-transform the outer self as well, as its process is undergone.

The chickweed naturally grows deep and wide each spring...

Allow for a natural process of self-growth at all times by facing fears and transforming them into new ideas of growth and self. Mature fulfillment requires true innocence in alignment. True innocence must be accessed, understood, trusted, and fully embodied in order for such a journey to be taken, so do not leave your spirit’s true innocence behind, take it with you each step of the way!

These are Jeanne’s words of guidance for this week as I asked her to offer us all some guidance as we experience the energy of spring, bursting upon us in the Northeast USA. I hope this is useful guidance no matter where you are.

Most humbly offered,

Jan