Category Archives: Jan’s Blog


Currently, I put most of my energy into the weekly channeled messages, the daily Soulbytes, and the completion of The Recapitulation Diaries. An occasional blog does still get written when the creative urge strikes. Archived here are the blogs I wrote for many years about inner life and outer life, inner nature and outer nature. Perhaps my writings on life, as I see it and experience it, may offer you some small insight or different perspective as you take your own journey.

With gratitude for all that life teaches me, I share my experiences.

Jan Ketchel

A Day in a Life: The Shadow Lurks

I seem to do a lot of my inner work in dreaming. It has always been this way. My psyche seems to like to work on issues of importance while my mind sleeps and luckily, more often than not, especially if I intend it, I wake up with good dream recall. I have also discovered that if I present a dreaming intent my psyche readily obliges, giving me just what I need. Over the past few weeks I have made some decisions, one of which, as you know, was to change my name to my married name. This is not as easy at it may sound. Any woman who has faced this prospect upon marriage knows this. Suddenly, a well-known identity is challenged and the big question of “Who am I?” arises. During my recent process of making this life changing decision I had the following dream.

I am having a funeral for Jan Hughes. I am burying her in a field on a hill, under the spreading limbs of a tall tree. As the funeral progresses I have an inner dialogue with this “old Jan,” as she is lowered into the grave, as dirt is thrown onto the casket, and as she is put to rest. I tell her that I am not abandoning her, that I am not rejecting her, but that she has done her life’s work and it is time for her to recede while a new me takes over. I am thankful for the life we had together. I thank her for accompanying me this far and for taking me on my recapitulation journey. I tell her this as her grave is covered, as a headstone is put in place, and as I walk away and leave her buried under the tree, knowing that something is not quite resolved, but I am not sure what it is yet. Even so, every day, in the dream, as I pass by the spot on the hill where she is buried I see her headstone and know that I have made the right decision.

Three days later, I have another dream related to the same theme. In this dream I am approached by a woman who I recognize from my past. When I knew her I was in awe of her and admired her for many reasons. She was beautiful. She wore her hair in a short pixie cut and I once cut my hair like hers, wanting to be like her. She was tall, not exceedingly thin, and she had perfect posture and moved with definite grace, totally in her body, while I am short and in the past tended to hunch my shoulders more than I do now, totally not in my body. She carried herself with such confidence and seemed totally relaxed with who she was, both in her work and in her personal life. In the dream, she is old, her hair is longer and very scraggly, thin, hanging in her face, her expression is withdrawn and dark, her eyes sunken and haunted looking, her skin wrinkled and her cheeks, once so plump and rosy, are cavernous. She comes very close to me and peering into my face says in a harsh whisper: “I love you. I have always loved you. I want to be with you. I want to be your lover forever. Don’t leave me.”

“Oh, yes,” I say, “I remember you came to me in a dream once before and told me the same thing, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she says, “but you wouldn’t pay attention.”

“But I’m married now,” I say. She looks devastated when I say this and I am not sure what to do with her. She looks sad, sick, lifeless, and I feel her love for me as well as her pain at being rejected. I don’t want to make her feel any worse, but I can’t figure out what to say to her. “I’ll keep it in mind,” I say, referring to her desire to love me forever. And at that she disappears and I wake up.

As I write down this dream upon awakening, I begin to see this woman as my shadow. She tells me that she loves me and is asking me to integrate her. She is my extraverted self whom I have kept hidden for so long, unloved and uncared for, as I have lived most of my life as an introvert. I chose the life of a freelance artist and writer so that I did not have to be in the world or interact in the world, except minimally. She is asking me to take her as my lover, to give her life, to be what I once projected onto her and in so doing restore her beauty. It is my personal challenge, in this life, to be extraverted. I know this. I am totally at ease in introversion, in doing inner work, it is all I have ever done, but being in the world is and always has been my challenge.

It is interesting to note here that I did recently bump into this woman from my past, several months ago, and I was struck by how much she had changed. She did in fact look quite haggard. Her hair was longer and rather thin and, I thought, rather unattractive compared to the way she looked with a shorter cut. She looked almost unhealthy, whereas ten or so years ago when I last saw her she looked beautifully ageless, with that amazing posture and self-assured presence. When I saw her recently I felt that we had almost exchanged personas. She looked the way I did ten years ago, before I did my recapitulation, before my real inner work started. Now I have long thick flowing almost white hair, I am softer and more glowing, and my hunched shoulders are pulling back, my posture exhibiting more self-confidence, and my haunted look is gone.

When she comes to me in the dream, this woman from the past is asking me to embrace her as she is now. The last time she came in a dream, I rejected her, and she mentions it. I was not ready at that time, but now I am. She, the shadow, wants me to love the old self now, to embrace the woman I have buried, but also to not reject her. I must not only love what this woman, this shadow once represented and what I projected onto her, but I must also love what she now carries, the old me. And I must do so without feeling sorry for her, but fully embrace her with compassion and love for our unfolding journey together, in real life and in dreaming life. And I must also accept her admiration of me, as I have changed and evolved, for that would complete the picture. As I take back the long ago projection, and love all these parts of myself, I am accepting the challenge.

This is the kind of stuff that the psyche presents to us, whether in dreams, in daily life, or in what happens to us. We are always, in some way, presented with our issues; in problems that arise and in the people we meet and interact with. When we are ready to make some changes and move on, embracing our evolving selves, we are given the opportunity to integrate, to take back our projections, and to embrace the totality of who we are and who we have the potential to still become. I guess I would just like to stress that, in looking to the workings of the psyche, I was able to see how these two dreams were meaningful in my own process of change, and how, as I looked deeper, I was presented with what really lurked below the surface, asking for resolution.

Even though I feel like I have done nothing but deep inner work for the past ten years, I am still being challenged to keep doing it, to go deeper and deeper, into my own shadows. You never know what or who might be lurking there!

Until next time, may your dreams take you where you need to go!

A Day in a Life: A New Intent

Dear Readers and Fellow Inner Journeyers,

Today begins a new day in our process and routine together. It is time for me to pull my energy inward. I am deeply involved in work on my book, in my clinical work, and in my personal explorations of energy. I have thoroughly enjoyed and grown from the process of giving to you and to this website over the past four years, but I have lately felt a great need to deepen my work as a channel and psychic, and to really learn what it means and how to better use it. The challenge is to track the energy, always in flux, and to flow with it, and this is where my energy needs to go now.

As part of this process of change and transformation I am now permanently and professionally taking my married name, Ketchel. So as you come to this website each week you will be dealing with the partnership of Ketchel, Ketchel & Ketchel, and appropriately so, for we are truly a partnership. You will see this name change reflected on the website over the next month or so as we update it.

We do intend to continue the channeling, but now just once a week, each Monday morning. It seems right to begin the week with a message from Jeanne. I anticipate writing during the week and keeping in touch through this blog, A Day in a Life, and on Saturdays Chuck will continue to post his writing in Chuck’s Place, always such a treat.

Today, in lieu of a longer channeled message from Jeanne, I offer this poem of sorts that I got from her this morning when I communicated with her regarding the changes we are instituting in our own lives, impacting many of you too, as we are very aware that the messages three times a week have been extremely valued. Here is what she says:

Give a little, take a little.
Share a little, receive a little.
Spend a little, earn a little.
Use a little, plant a little
so that new growth may always be possible

Nurture and guide,
but also protect and treasure.
Be available, but be private.
Be innerly and be outerly.
Be creative and be also attentive to the fires
of inner work, inner energy, and rejuvenation

Be whole, but be balanced.
Be in the world and not in the world.
Be who you are, but allow for change.
Be afraid when you must, but discover the reason why.
Be happy, but do not forget how to be sad.
Be safe, but not at the expense of daring.
Be adventurous, but do not forget to be connected,
at all times, to the desires of the spirit self

Jeanne went on to say: Listen to your hearts at all times and follow the guidance of good, of resonance, and of right. The more inner work you do, the more clearly will your path be revealed and you will learn not to question so much, but to proceed with truth, knowing, and instinct as your natural companions and guides. Always do good work. Always finish your processes as they arise. Do not shirk your duties, but do save enough time for the self. This must now be the most important thought as you awaken each day: “Yes, I must spend some time alone today and do my inner journey.”

I look forward to the next unfolding of this journey with you.

A Day in a Life: Treasuring the Lights

Dear Readers,

Well, the electricity finally came back on yesterday, but we are now in the midst of the next onslaught of bad weather, a Nor’easter, and supposedly this will sit over us for the next four days. I am attempting to get as much work done while the lights are on, and with a certification exam to finalize I am hoping I can get it done before the heavy snow that is now falling causes another outage. We live in a very rural area and even on perfectly fine days the electricity can pop on and off for seemingly no reason whatsoever. We feel lucky because our neighbors across the road did not get turned back on yet, their generator has been humming all night long. So, if all goes well, I intend to have a channeled message posted tomorrow and we’ll get Chuck’s blog up on Saturday, but it all depends on what happens with this current storm. Yesterday we shoveled and used the snowblower on the heavy wet snow for about six hours in order to get out of the garage and up the steep driveway. The trees were bowed to the ground and a large branch landed smack in the middle of the driveway that Chuck had to use the chain saw on because it was too heavy to even budge. And, as usually happens, the snow plows came through and piled a four foot high pile of heavy wet slush at the top of the driveway, a major chore to get through. If it would only stay a little colder the snow is a lot lighter and easier to move out of the way.

Supposedly today’s snow will change to rain in a few hours, but we sit right on the dividing line. It is predicted that if you live to the West you will get snow, to the East rain, and we are in the iffy zone. So, hopefully we will be back on line tomorrow morning. If all goes well, you will see a message from Jeanne posted by noon and if not, our Admin will be leaving you a note as to what is happening.

Until then: Happy snow day!

A Day in a Life: 10 Steps in Inner Work & Recapitulation

With today’s message, Jeanne gives us the tenth step in engaging in a process of inner work and recapitulation that I began channeling on January 29, 2010. The last ten messages have been around this process. To recap they are:

1. Patience
2. Perseverance
3. Kindness
4. Innocence
5. Maturity
6. Commitment
7. Fearlessness
8. Truthfulness
9. Responsibility
10. Letting Go

Each one of the topics above is linked to its original message so that you may more easily find each step and keep them together, valuable tools in the recapitulation process, which is really what inner work is all about. I will also add them to the sidebar, under Guidance, for easy access. Although I do not, at the moment, have the intention of continuing along this line of questioning when I resume our channeling sessions on Monday, you never know. There just might be more to come. But, on the other hand, having engaged and being engaged in the process of recapitulation myself, I think these ten steps are pretty detailed and offer quite a lot to work with for some time to come.

In my own process, which started in earnest about ten years ago, I can attest that I did in fact go through each one of these steps, and they are still useful, because each day as new challenges are presented the process of growth continues, if you choose to engage it. The process never really ends, but advancement is certain. As you do the work, you do change. I can attest to that too.

As I channeled these ten steps over the past several weeks I recognized them as very familiar and very challenging friends, friends that I grew to know intimately as I worked with and through my inner world in a very thorough recapitulation. That recapitulation consisted of removing the veils of time and uncovering and facing memories, fears, ideas, truths and untruths of who I was, who I had become, and why, but also gaining clarity on who I once really was behind the veils and who I had the potential to really become as I allowed the process to unfold. I can say that having taken that journey, having plunged ahead through some very difficult stuff, that you can truly change. I did. I would not be here, doing this today, if I had not dared to take the inner journey.

So, Good Luck as you undertake the deeper inner journey! Feel free to post comments below. There are a lot of people trying to figure out what their lives mean and you never know if by sharing some experience of yours you might help another.

Until next time,

A Day in a Life: On the Creative

Although today’s message is very long, I do hope you will take the time to read it. It came through very clearly and contains quite an enlightening and empowering message for all of us. And if you haven’t seem AVATAR yet, and wonder what all the hoopla is about, go see it. You will not be disappointed. You’ll “get it”, especially if you are reading this channeling blog and are seeking greater spiritual connection based in energetic compassion and interconnectedness. Today’s message also gives us the fourth word in our inner process work, after Patience, Perseverance, and Kindness. I like the way all of this has been unfolding. I hope you do too. Have a great creative weekend. -Jan