Category Archives: Jan’s Blog

Welcome!

Archived here are the blogs I write about inner life and outer life, inner nature and outer nature. Perhaps my writings on life, as I see it and experience it, may offer you some small insight or different perspective as you take your own journey.

With gratitude for all that life teaches me, I share my experiences.

Jan Ketchel

A Day in a Life: Thresholding Time

The energy of the day... Photo by Jan Ketchel
The energy of the day… -Photo by Jan Ketchel

I was quite affected by Jeanne’s message the other day, Transcendence Through Fully Living, stirred to “inhabit my beingness in a fuller way,” as she suggested. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo or a piercing, something daring, I thought. Maybe I’ll cut my hair, make a drastic change, do something to reflect the energy I feel coursing through me, I thought. Then I stepped back and let the energy settle. No, I thought, that’s not what she means. She means own yourself, be yourself to the fullest, be who you truly are. She means live what is inside on the outside now, I decided.

I had a busy day. I selected the clothes to wear with great care. My energy was buoyant and that helped me decide. I wanted my clothing to reflect what I felt inside, my beingness, in a fuller way. I felt good as I left the house in the clothes I had selected. I was in many places throughout the day. I had to travel a bit. I listened to beautiful chanting as I drove, turning the volume up high. I noticed that the day was flowing along nicely.

Afterwards, as I headed toward home, I decided to play a little game with myself, letting the traffic lights guide me, leaving my return route open to guidance from the universe. I have used this technique many times. It was especially important when I was learning how to release my tight hold on controlling, obsessive behaviors, when I was doing my recapitulation and learning how to acquiesce to life itself. When confronted with which route to take, I’d simply let the lights guide me. “If the next light is a green arrow, I’ll take it. If it’s a red light, I’ll go straight.” I have had many transcendent experiences as I’ve played this game, like a virtual map suddenly appearing out of nowhere, a video game that I have never played before.

As I played this game on Monday, green arrows lit up my way, determining which routes I was to take. My energy was still good. I was still flowing along with my chanting music blaring. Suddenly a large shiny black raven swooped in front of my car, seemingly out of nowhere, from the left. Had I been going just a little faster we would have collided. I had no fear, I didn’t even brake, we simply crossed paths. He carried something round and red in his beak. I got a glimpse and then he was gone. Oh, I thought, that’s don Juan, Carlos Castaneda’s benefactor, raven/crow energy, an omen. My first thought was ominous, my second thought bright. I let it be a good omen.

I was on the approach to the bridge, crossing the Hudson, coming up to the toll booth. I let a car merge in front of me from the right, a little blue car much the same color as my own. I was patient. My thoughts went to the man that Chuck and I had met at a checkout line in a store the other day, jokingly suggesting that we pay for his small purchase. He used to be generous himself he said. He used to pay the toll for others crossing the bridge behind him when it was only 50 cents, but now that it’s $1.50 he doesn’t do it so often.

The man in the little blue car stuck his hand out the window and handed the toll collector two dollar bills. He seemed to be talking, taking his time. I waited. I saw him hand the collector another dollar bill. I wondered what he was doing. Can you buy a second passing? It seemed odd. Maybe he was asking for change?

I had my $1.50 in hand as I pulled up to the toll booth and opened my window. The toll collector, with a tone of wonder, told me that the man in the little blue car had already paid my toll. “Oh! Thank you!” I said, delighted, as he opened the gate and I sailed right through. I waved to the man in the blue car ahead of me, wondering if he saw me thanking him.

As I continued my drive home, I took note of the events of the ride, the decision to let the lights guide me; the raven bearing its gift, the merging car, the thoughts going through my head, the gift of the toll. All these synchronicities were significant, but they alone were not the message. They were just signs from the universe leading me to understand the true message. What was it? It took me a little while to get it. I had to recapitulate my experiences to grasp the deeper meaning.

There is always some kind of bridge to cross up ahead... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
There is always some kind of bridge to cross up ahead…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I was back home when it finally dawned on me. I was about to cross a bridge, the symbol of connecting worlds, of bridging the disparate selves into a new self, to “inhabit my beingness in a fuller way,” as I had intended when I’d dressed in the morning. The energy of my intent was flowing, the gate simply opened before me, free access was granted, sending me over the crossing. Had I not set my intent to let the universe guide me, none of those things would have happened. In fact though, I had been on the threshold of transcendence all day, steeped in the intent of the channeled message from Jeanne.

We have all been on that threshold of change for a long time; it’s the times we live in. While on that threshold we struggle, just as our world struggles now. We see these struggles in so many areas. We must face our struggles, confront our challenges if we are to evolve. And when we are ready, when we know that it’s time to cross our bridge, if we let the universe be part of our process it makes the crossing a lot easier. I found this out. The next challenge is to keep going over all the bridges in the same manner, fully alert and aware, reading the signs and acquiescing to the journey as it unfolds. We must allow transcendence to become a natural and acceptable part of our lives. It’s not really that hard, and the magic of it is both invigorating and joyous to experience. As Jeanne says, let a little joy in!

Navigating,
Jan

P.S. Just a note to say that the next day I had to face all red lights! The message that day was: PATIENCE! And indeed, as the day unfolded, patience was required, but I found it was an effortless process, as I quite easily flowed without frustration. I read the sign and let it become important. In acquiescence, I have learned many great lessons. Be well. Be flowing.

A Day in a Life: Out Of The Shadows

Female energy in hordes, laying eggs in hordes, unstoppable... - Photo by Chuck Ketchel
Female energy in hordes, laying eggs in hordes, unstoppable…
– Photo by Chuck Ketchel

We have been and continue to be in a time of great feminine energy. The birth of the cicadas after seventeen years underground is only one sign of the emergence of long-suppressed female energy. Once emerged, the main intent of the cicadas, male and female alike, is to reproduce another crop of eggs that will lie dormant deep inside the earth until they too emerge in seventeen years and do the same.

The moon, the ultimate female symbol, is equally important now. The masculine sun has ruled for a long time. We know how important the sun is for life on earth; without it we’d perish pretty quickly. The feminine moon is just as important, ruler of the tides and time, linked to the seasons, to birth and death. She lights up the darkness, revealing things in a different light, while other entities not accustomed to light emerge and live. I always think of the moon in correlation with the oceans, with the ebb and flow of life, especially affecting the female body, its menses and moods, the salt of the oceans and the salt of our human bodies inextricably linked.

The Supreme Court knocked us back a few decades with their repeal of the Voting Rights Act. Texas wanted to close all abortion clinics, but the bill was filibustered by State Senator Wendy Davis, for 11 hours, and failed! My first reaction is an exasperated, “Woe! What is this world coming to!” But I see these things as last ditch efforts by the ruling male energy to suppress the emerging female energy. But they won’t be able to—just think of those cicadas. Nothing is going to stop this energy from coming out of the shadows now. It’s the time of the feminine. At least that’s the way I see it.

The Republicans don’t want Hillary to be President of the United States in 2016, but she will be. Even the Dalai Lama has spoken of the possibility of the next Dalai Lama being a woman, that it would be good because “females have more potential to develop affection or love…” Basically, it’s time. The world is badly in need of help. It needs a healing balm like no other. It needs the soothing energy of Mother, of nurturing energy, a new set of rules to play by. It needs a shift away from the male/masculine domination of our times to a new time of female/feminine intervention. The sun cycle is over; the moon cycle is about to begin. As the Dalai Lama also said, we need a compassionate approach to world leadership and women offer this.

I observe the cicadas. I can’t help it. They are everywhere in our yard, their carcasses littering the deck, the walkways, piled at the bases of trees, crunching beneath the wheels of our cars. I watch the birds swoop down and catch them in mid-air. Even the tiny wren easily grabs them. The cicadas, I notice, are a little clumsy. They flutter and buzz about with great determination but they often land on their faces and flop over onto their backs. They lie there inert, perhaps catching their breath before expending a lot of energy trying to turn over. Eventually they flip onto their prickly legs and stand dazed and unsure. I don’t think they really know what to make of this world that they are in for so short a period of time. Having lived in darkness for so long, they must struggle to get their bearings. In spite of this they attack life with great gusto. With their loud whirring, cheering, and piping sounds those little critters are having an impact!

Poppies popping up all over the place...more of that natural feminine energy! -Photo by Jan Ketchel
Poppies popping up all over the place…more of that natural feminine energy!
-Photo by Jan Ketchel

I think we’re going to have to be patient with ourselves as we move into a new cycle of moon energy. As I see it, it’s going to happen. There is no stopping it, just like there is no stopping the cicadas. But we all have to take full responsibility for where we’ve been and where we’re going. As human beings—not as male and female, but as an embodiment of both energies—we will have to learn how to navigate in a changing world. We may find ourselves as clumsy as the cicadas, but eventually we’ll get ourselves sorted out. We’ll align with the intent of now, which surely is that we correct what has been wrought by our dependence on the masculine energy of our society, as well as the masculine energy of our individual selves, on the suppression of our feminine, from outside and inside. Our egos have ruled for too long. Now it’s time for our hearts to take over and guide us forward into a new world.

We must pull our hearts out of the shadows and let them live and lead us to do what is right for all human beings, for the planet and all of life. Many of us are already there, doing it our entire lives. We must not be afraid to continue being the loving and tender beings we truly are, no matter what kind of backlash comes to stomp on us—and it will come, again and again. But just as we expect Hillary to go the distance, so must we. Just as we wish for a kinder, gentler nation, so must we accept that hatred, bigotry and racism abound, but we cannot allow them to harden our hearts and make us mean too.

We must not dismiss the lessons of the cicadas. They are here because it is their time. Their energy is decidedly feminine, their mission one that only females can enact. Yesterday, as I sat on the deck, a cicada suddenly dropped from the sky and landed with a plunk. “Wow, look at that,” I thought. “Just dropped dead from the sky.” I bent over to look at it and noticed that its back end was missing. “It must be a female,” I thought, “her reproductive cavity worn off with all that work of getting her eggs laid. This one’s mission is accomplished.” But just as I thought that thought, she suddenly turned over. Still alive! And then she got up and flew away! Wow, half dead, half her body gone and still flying! Not done yet! And so I say, we must not forget the cicadas!

Our own time to fly is now. Are we going to forget the cicadas as we move forward? Are we going to forget that we all have feminine energy inside us, just waiting to burst forth out of the shadows and finally live? We all know how good it feels to love, how good it feels to soften our edges, drop our ego pretenses and just be REAL. Why not do this all the time?

We must embrace and live by a new feminine paradigm. We are all charged with emerging from the shadows to change the world in a very new and untried way. We must challenge the status quo all over again. We must get up and fly again, no matter how exhausted we are. We may have to redo a lot of things we thought were already securely embedded in our American psyches. We may have to march again for our basic Civil Rights. Abortion rights, voting rights, and marriage rights are seminal to our growth and freedom as healthy masculine/feminine human beings. A female president of the United States and a female Dalai Lama are seminal if we are to not only heal the ills that we have all created, but move on in a totally new direction.

He died with his boots on, as they say! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
He died with his boots on, as they say!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Oh, by the way, I noticed that the male cicadas die with their reproductive parts intact. Once again, it’s the female who gives her all. Take that into consideration as we go into the new moon phase of life, rife with powerful and unstoppable female energy!

Just my opinion,
Jan

A Day in a Life: Staying Connected To Awe

I lose track of the awe... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
I lose track of the awe…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I have had to remind myself lately to not forget the experiences of awe that I have had in the past and constantly have in life. I get so caught up in the mundane, in this world, that I often lose track of where I’ve been and all of the amazing things that have transpired in my life. Jeanne suggests some useful guidance around this issue in her latest message.

Life in this world can drag us down. We become so fixated on things that are wrong, things that offend us, things that make us angry, resentful, hurt; feelings that leave us shamed, blamed, helpless and lost. The Shamans of Ancient Mexico would call all of those things issues of the ego, issues of self-importance. Lose your self-importance, they constantly suggested.

I try to be impeccable, but I am not. I try to be balanced and in perfect alignment with my spirit’s intent, but I am not. I try to be selfless, kind, and compassionate at all times, but I am not. I like to think of myself as on top of things when in reality I just am not. I’m often lazy. I had to face my imperfect, lazy self over the weekend when the hard drive on my computer crashed. I also had to face my psychic self, who kept warning me to do things that I ignored. “Make a copy of this, back this up, notice this sign and this sign that things are just not working right,” she warned me. But did I pay attention? No. And so I had to suffer.

We took my computer to the Apple Store and when they ran the diagnostics on it, a large red banner appeared that read: FAILED! Immediately, I felt like a bad person, because I knew I had not backed up at the end of the work week as I normally do and I wondered how much stuff I had lost. I did attempt a backup as soon as I noticed something was seriously wrong, but did it take? Only time would tell.

My MacMini is happy again... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
My MacMini is happy again…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Back home again with a new hard drive, I had to face the truth. Not only that, but I had to face it with other people looking over my shoulder, my techie guy and Chuck. “Seriously,” my techie guy said, “you didn’t back up like I told you to do?” “Once a week,” I said, meekly, “but I didn’t do it last week.” “ARRGH!” This is something like what the conversation went like and boy did I feel bad, and really really stupid. “So much for impeccability,” I thought. “Jan, you suck!”

As time wore on it became clear just how much stuff I had lost. The hard drive was so corroded that my last ditch backup effort had failed. I got more depressed, felt more stupid, admitted I was a real jerk and got depressed. By the time Monday morning rolled around I wondered what I would find when I looked at the last revisions I had made on my book, had I saved them? Uh-uh. Nope. More depression. Then along came a different me, the fighter/warrior, cut-your-losses and move-on person that I can be and she said: “Get over it! This is meaningful. It’s not so bad. It’s teaching you things you need to learn about yourself.” How could I argue with that?

I have my backup machine plugged in all the time now. I backup to DropBox as well now. I found that once I let go of trying to recall the changes I had made to my book, the editing of Volume Two of The Edge of the Abyss ran smoothly, with a new precision and conciseness that had been lacking for the past month. I had gotten so bogged down in trying to finish that I was forgetting to enjoy the process. I got so caught up in the mundane that I forgot about the awe that comes along even in the most trying of times. I forgot to really savor the people in my life, and life itself.

In awe... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
In awe…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

“I want to laugh more,” I said to Chuck the other day, and then someone showed us a funny video and we laughed so hard! I forgot that you just have to ask and you receive. I forgot to lighten up and enjoy where I am. I forgot that there is awe in life every single day, you just have to see it that way. I forgot to lose my self-importance and just enjoy every moment.

There is awe in my computer crash, there is awe in my depression, there is awe in my stupidity, if I so choose to see it that way. And yes, I do choose to see it that way, thank you very much!

Feeling the awe; hope you find it too,
Jan

A Day in a Life: Signs Of Change

I notice this happy face smiling at me when I open the milk carton...another good sign perhaps? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
I notice this happy face smiling at me when I open the milk carton…another good sign perhaps?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I wake at 3:45 a.m. to wind gusts that shake the house and rattle the furniture on the deck. I wonder if the umbrellas will blow over. I try to fall back to sleep but another gust comes along. I see the trees against the night sky bending low, pushed to breaking by this sudden shift. The night has been calm. We have our bedroom sliding door open wide to the deck and the night air. We love to watch the sky at night and awaken to the sounds of the birds, the phoebes and cardinals especially. They are our alarm clock. Another gust comes through, and another and another. Now I can’t fall back to sleep. I wonder what’s coming, for I sense that these are winds of change.

Later, as I’m drying my hair, the hair dryer goes on the fritz. In fact, it totally blitzes out, shoots a flame, smokes and fizzles out. It’s fried. Change, I think. Yup, change is coming. Am I ready for it and what will I do with this opportunity?

Astrologically, I read that we are in for some interesting energy, so my sense of change feels in alignment with the planets. I look forward to change, to new possibilities, to the challenge of doing things differently and of becoming someone new. I wonder what else, besides the wind and my hair dryer, will be the catalyst. Something else is sure to come along to support me today in my quest and desire for change. I know for a fact though that I must be my own instigator of change. I must be my own arbiter, my own catalyst, and yet I am thankful for the signs that show me that the time for change is now.

The fact that the cicadas are here this summer is right in alignment with the idea that it is high time to make some big changes. They have been singing their way through the days, letting us know that we don’t have much time left. And it’s true, we don’t, they don’t, none of us do. As the Shamans of Ancient Mexico like to say: We are beings who are going to die.

Here it is, trying like heck to turn over... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Here it is, trying like heck to turn over…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I thought about those shamans yesterday. I was just about to check the hot tub water chemistry when I noticed a large bug on the hot tub cover. It was on its back, trying desperately to turn over. A cicada. I watched it for a while, remembering how don Juan had once told Carlos not to interrupt the progress of some critter crossing the road, a snail perhaps. He told him that he had no right to interfere, for he did not really know the snail’s story. I tend to not interfere with nature myself, knowing that nature can pretty much take care of itself. However, it was taking the cicada a long time to flip itself over and I was getting impatient. Of course, I could have come back later, but I wanted to test the water now.

After a while, rather than actually touch the cicada, I blew at it hard enough that it was able to flip over and fly off the hot tub cover. Satisfied I opened the lid and went about my business. A few seconds later as I went to the other side of the hot tub to turn on the jets, I stepped on something that went CRUNCH under my clog. UH-OH! I looked down and in a moment of horror realized that I had just killed the poor cicada that I had tried to help! I was devastated. I had interfered and had caused a death. On the other hand, that cicada, as far as I knew, had been singing its heart out for days that it was going to die. It was right. We are all beings who are going to die. However, I couldn’t help wondering how it would have fared had I not interfered.

Chuck mentioned this morning that as long as we keep the thought of our death uppermost in our minds then no moment is any more significant than another. At the same time, every moment is precious too, but all the moments really carry the same message, letting us know that time’s a wastin’! What have we been putting off? What do we want to accomplish in our lives, in our next moments? Why wait?

I sense that new opportunity arrived on the wind in the middle of the night. It loudly proclaimed its presence. It said, stay alert and grab this opportunity to make those changes that are so badly needed. This is a personal challenge as well as a universal challenge. We are all being asked to go deeper into our inner world and make changes there, while we are being pushed to live differently in the outer world as well.

Doesn't this cloud look a little monsterish? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Doesn’t this cloud look a little monsterish?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The wind is not always good, the shamans like to warn, but it does suggest a stirring of energies. This one, by all accounts, is a good wind of change, bringing us to a new level of awareness. If we are ready to grow, it’s time to latch on, dig in and go with it. Change! It’s the kind of wind that will take us far and we could all use that kind of help in our efforts to evolve and grow, individually and as a human race.

It’s time, the wind shouted in the night. In the most bone-shattering way, it said: This is it! This is the time of your lives! This is what you have been waiting for, so don’t miss the opportunity! Go with the flow of it. Acquiesce to what you know is right, to what must be done to move you beyond the pale, beyond the horizon, beyond the old self.

I wish you all well in your inner work and your outer work. It feels like they will now come into greater and more fruitful alignment. The winds bode well!

Going with the flow,
Jan