Tag Archives: threshold

A Day in a Life: Thresholding Time

The energy of the day... Photo by Jan Ketchel
The energy of the day… -Photo by Jan Ketchel

I was quite affected by Jeanne’s message the other day, Transcendence Through Fully Living, stirred to “inhabit my beingness in a fuller way,” as she suggested. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo or a piercing, something daring, I thought. Maybe I’ll cut my hair, make a drastic change, do something to reflect the energy I feel coursing through me, I thought. Then I stepped back and let the energy settle. No, I thought, that’s not what she means. She means own yourself, be yourself to the fullest, be who you truly are. She means live what is inside on the outside now, I decided.

I had a busy day. I selected the clothes to wear with great care. My energy was buoyant and that helped me decide. I wanted my clothing to reflect what I felt inside, my beingness, in a fuller way. I felt good as I left the house in the clothes I had selected. I was in many places throughout the day. I had to travel a bit. I listened to beautiful chanting as I drove, turning the volume up high. I noticed that the day was flowing along nicely.

Afterwards, as I headed toward home, I decided to play a little game with myself, letting the traffic lights guide me, leaving my return route open to guidance from the universe. I have used this technique many times. It was especially important when I was learning how to release my tight hold on controlling, obsessive behaviors, when I was doing my recapitulation and learning how to acquiesce to life itself. When confronted with which route to take, I’d simply let the lights guide me. “If the next light is a green arrow, I’ll take it. If it’s a red light, I’ll go straight.” I have had many transcendent experiences as I’ve played this game, like a virtual map suddenly appearing out of nowhere, a video game that I have never played before.

As I played this game on Monday, green arrows lit up my way, determining which routes I was to take. My energy was still good. I was still flowing along with my chanting music blaring. Suddenly a large shiny black raven swooped in front of my car, seemingly out of nowhere, from the left. Had I been going just a little faster we would have collided. I had no fear, I didn’t even brake, we simply crossed paths. He carried something round and red in his beak. I got a glimpse and then he was gone. Oh, I thought, that’s don Juan, Carlos Castaneda’s benefactor, raven/crow energy, an omen. My first thought was ominous, my second thought bright. I let it be a good omen.

I was on the approach to the bridge, crossing the Hudson, coming up to the toll booth. I let a car merge in front of me from the right, a little blue car much the same color as my own. I was patient. My thoughts went to the man that Chuck and I had met at a checkout line in a store the other day, jokingly suggesting that we pay for his small purchase. He used to be generous himself he said. He used to pay the toll for others crossing the bridge behind him when it was only 50 cents, but now that it’s $1.50 he doesn’t do it so often.

The man in the little blue car stuck his hand out the window and handed the toll collector two dollar bills. He seemed to be talking, taking his time. I waited. I saw him hand the collector another dollar bill. I wondered what he was doing. Can you buy a second passing? It seemed odd. Maybe he was asking for change?

I had my $1.50 in hand as I pulled up to the toll booth and opened my window. The toll collector, with a tone of wonder, told me that the man in the little blue car had already paid my toll. “Oh! Thank you!” I said, delighted, as he opened the gate and I sailed right through. I waved to the man in the blue car ahead of me, wondering if he saw me thanking him.

As I continued my drive home, I took note of the events of the ride, the decision to let the lights guide me; the raven bearing its gift, the merging car, the thoughts going through my head, the gift of the toll. All these synchronicities were significant, but they alone were not the message. They were just signs from the universe leading me to understand the true message. What was it? It took me a little while to get it. I had to recapitulate my experiences to grasp the deeper meaning.

There is always some kind of bridge to cross up ahead... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
There is always some kind of bridge to cross up ahead…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I was back home when it finally dawned on me. I was about to cross a bridge, the symbol of connecting worlds, of bridging the disparate selves into a new self, to “inhabit my beingness in a fuller way,” as I had intended when I’d dressed in the morning. The energy of my intent was flowing, the gate simply opened before me, free access was granted, sending me over the crossing. Had I not set my intent to let the universe guide me, none of those things would have happened. In fact though, I had been on the threshold of transcendence all day, steeped in the intent of the channeled message from Jeanne.

We have all been on that threshold of change for a long time; it’s the times we live in. While on that threshold we struggle, just as our world struggles now. We see these struggles in so many areas. We must face our struggles, confront our challenges if we are to evolve. And when we are ready, when we know that it’s time to cross our bridge, if we let the universe be part of our process it makes the crossing a lot easier. I found this out. The next challenge is to keep going over all the bridges in the same manner, fully alert and aware, reading the signs and acquiescing to the journey as it unfolds. We must allow transcendence to become a natural and acceptable part of our lives. It’s not really that hard, and the magic of it is both invigorating and joyous to experience. As Jeanne says, let a little joy in!


P.S. Just a note to say that the next day I had to face all red lights! The message that day was: PATIENCE! And indeed, as the day unfolded, patience was required, but I found it was an effortless process, as I quite easily flowed without frustration. I read the sign and let it become important. In acquiescence, I have learned many great lessons. Be well. Be flowing.

A Day in a Life: Are We All Just Living The Same Life?

We're all in the same golden universe, aren't we? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
We’re all in the same golden universe, aren’t we? – Photo by Jan Ketchel

A year ago, during this first week in February, I was at Vassar Hospital in Poughkeepsie, New York. A dear relative lay dying. She had asked me to be with her. I got there at 9:20 in the morning. “Let’s do it,” she said, and then she closed her eyes. She didn’t open them or speak again. She died at 9:20 that night. Nonetheless, she was energetically present, in full awareness the entire time.

I sat beside her during those twelve hours, whispering in her ear, both guarding her energy and guiding her to take her journey. Many doors opened for both of us that day. I sat on the threshold of each door as she passed through. Our lives intermingled. Sometimes I was the person in the bed dying and she was guarding and guiding. Sometimes she was my mother, my father, my child, my sister, my brother, my lover. Sometimes I was her daughter, her mother, her father, her sister, her brother, her lover.

We lived through many lives that day, easily flowing in and out of them, reliving experiences and relationships, without attachment letting everything go. As each door opened we said our goodbyes at the threshold, fully aware that we had done this so many times before, with exactly the same intent and awareness, unafraid of death, knowing that it led only to new life and new adventures. Finally, I sat back and told her it was time to go the rest of the way alone. I would be present to witness, but it was time for her to take over. She had done her life well, her journey here was done, she could leave anytime she was ready. I kissed her one last time, let her hand go, and sat quietly beside her. Shortly thereafter, without a backward glance, she leapt into the light of new life.

Even so, I have a sense of her energetic presence in my life still. Though we completed many relationships in this world on that day, we began a new relationship too. Since her passing, I have continued to honor her each week on her death day; for all that she gifted me, for who she was, for taking her journey like the strong, independent being she always was, for continuing to guide me. I feel her energy the same way I feel Jeanne’s energy—Jeanne, a being who did not know me in this world, who nonetheless connected with me in the same fashion as someone who did know me well and who I knew very well too.

I hear from people all the time. People report that my experiences are their experiences, that my life parallels theirs, that my story is their story. I have thoughts coursing through my head that belong to the petty tyrants in my life, thoughts that I’ve long ago detached myself from, yet they return unbidden, asking for my attention. I wake up and find that I have dreamed the same dream as Chuck, that we hear words spoken when neither of us has opened our mouths. We often hear music playing in our house, old-timey music—a jukebox playing jazz, swing, the blues—when there is no one else in the house and no music being played. I have walked through glitches in the universe and experienced scenes from the past, sometimes as a participant and sometimes as an observer. Like a spy, I have entered parallel universes in energetic awareness and returned awed and shaken.

I am you and you are me. - Photo by Jan Ketchel
I am you and you are me. – Photo by Jan Ketchel

And so, I wonder, are we all just living the same life? Are we all dreaming the same dream? Are your thoughts my thoughts? Are all experiences in constant flow, being relived again and again? Are the air molecules that we’re breathing in and out today the same air molecules once breathed in and out by dinosaurs and wooly mammoths, Buddha and Jesus, by Lincoln and George Washington, by Carl Jung and Carlos Castaneda? This is an interesting question that has been circulating for some time now. Are we all the same energy, the same being? Are we all living each other’s lives?

When I once asked Jeanne how she was able to use her energy now, how she could be in so many places at once, helping so many people, she described it as being like an exploding roman candle, like fireworks bursting, one candle opening into many other candles, sparkles of light and energy, an endless array of energy free to go in any direction. Intent, she said, was the catalyst.

I’m aware how intent works; that it’s available in both positive and negative form, for both giving and taking. We might set a conscious intent to be more open, kind and loving, or we might unconsciously set an intent to retreat, to be depressed and angry. Perhaps we’ve tapped into someone else’s intent. We might be living a universal intent, a political intent, an energetic intent not our own. We might be caught unaware by intent that is flowing through the universe that is negative or downright evil.

As I sat beside my dying relative last year, I very strongly experienced the intent of energy as it flows through the universe, falling now here and now there, giving and taking, yet always moving on to new experiences. And so I sense that now again, as I ponder where we are now, as the world continues to progress in the direction it is going. If my personal experiences are anything to go on, I believe that we are all the same, that indeed we are one being and we’re all having the same experiences. We live them over and over again until we don’t need them anymore. When we finally take leave of this earth for the last lifetime, and our energy rejoins the source from which it came, we discover that we are not who we thought we were. Our individuality that we are all so attached to is, at that point, revealed for what it is: a myth. Our ego is not where we reside; our energy is.

And yet, that being said, it’s of the utmost importance how we choose to live our lives. How we choose to live every day of every life, no matter who we are, is critical—because our choices impact all of us. If my energy is also your energy, if my breath is also your breath, if my thoughts are also your thoughts, then the responsibility lies heavily upon me to make sure that what flows out of me is good, healthy, positive, healing, and loving energy. If my experiences are your experiences, it behovs me greatly to make sure that I resolve my internal difficulties—my anger, my pain, my negativity and my judgments—so that you need not suffer. If my intent is to spiritually evolve then that too is your intent. It’s this kind of energetic awareness that is so badly needed now. I believe it’s how we can all be part of a changing world.

These are just some of the thoughts I woke up with today, thoughts that have been circulating through me for a long time. Did they come from you? Wherever they came from, they’re out there, and they flow through others as well. If more of us pay attention to them, quell those old negative voices that say, “Oh, that can’t be true,” and just let it be true for even a little while we may offer someone else the opportunity to not just sit on the threshold to new thoughts and ideas, but actually dare to leap—with full awareness—into a new and changing world too.

Letting your thoughts flow through me,