Dear Jeanne and Infinity: What guidance do you offer us today?
Though the outside world carries on, often swirling in mayhem and offensive acts of cruelty, ignorance, and greed, do not get attached. In such times, deeper meaning must be sought and such deeper meaning will only be found within.
Each one of you upon that earth must turn inward and investigate your feelings, motives, and desires. You must discover what drives you, what rules you, and why. You must constantly investigate the self—not just check in briefly, but with full-fledged commitment to the inner process—for the times call for a conscious turning inward as the only means of survival and growth.
“What do you mean, survival?” I ask.
Survival of the human species must catapult to a new thought process, for survival must extend beyond physical survival to survival of all that is at the root of being human: compassion, kindness, love, and the expansion of and awareness of these tenets as being of utmost importance now.
As human beings face their infallibility and their fragility in the face of disaster, natural and otherwise, they must grasp at a deeper meaning for their existence. Beyond the constant necessity of survival in the reality of the world you live in lies a far greater meaning, and this must be probed. That is, survival of a new consciousness in the awakening to a greater understanding of all that you experience.
Are you sad, distraught, fearful? If so, the answers to your dilemmas are inside you. Even if you are happy, contented, and at peace, so are you also tempered with disturbance, for balance is naturally sought, and so deep inner work must not be forgotten. In order for the human population to evolve, acceptance of both the shadow self and the light self, as they act out in your own life or in the world around you, must be allowed.
Even in the darkness there is light...
You live in the times of dark and light. You are the dark and the light. Knowing that you are both the darkness and the light combined must be the central truth of your deeper inner work. Accept your truths: I am the darkness and the light. Pay homage to the powerful forces within and make your decisions on how to live, act, think, and pray based on these blatant truths.
Reality has always been what it is now, and that too you must accept. Your perception of it, and what you do next, is of utmost importance.
Ready to shift? It’s in your power to do so.
As always, ask your deeper self to guide you along a new path of acceptance of greater truth, insight, and action. All you have to do is accept its hand, always extended in your direction, always asking you to take it and move in a new direction.
Change begins and ends inside you. Find the shift you need by accepting the truths of your life and move on from there in a new positive direction. And remember, even as you face the darkness there is always light.
Thank you Jeanne and Infinity! Most humbly channeled by Jan.
Imagine the horror of looking in the mirror and seeing nothing. This is the experience of many young heroes who look to the world for safety, approval, encouragement, and love, only to be met by disapproving, rejecting eyes, or perhaps blank eyes incapable of meeting, or even worse, a wolf’s eyes intent upon feasting. The reaction of this young unwelcomed “me” is stinging shame, a curling inward around a deeply vulnerable full-of-potential self that protectively walls itself off and sinks into the womb of the unconscious. In its stead, the young hero self is charged with bringing life forward, awaiting the call from the deep unconscious to finally come and participate in the birthing of the true golden child when conditions are ripe for it to be born into fulfillment in this life.
The call to the journey of retrieval from the unconscious can come in many forms: a deep depression midway through life’s journey—where the energy to fund the current life has dried up, and the search for new energy to find meaning and fulfillment requires mining the depths of the unconscious to find the missing pieces of self—is a frequent prelude to the journey. Often the emergence of long walled-off traumatic memory may intrude upon consciousness in a dream, a flashback, or in powerful physical symptoms and pain. Often the call is mistaken, concretely, for physical ailment and only once that is ruled out can the real journey begin. Today too, much focus goes to genetic diseases requiring chemical cures, clouding the true meaning of the symptoms: a call to action by the deeper self.
Another complication in undertaking the journey is the veiled hope of rescue, of vindication by some mirroring person in the world to liberate and meet the deeply walled-off self. Though experiencing love can go a long way in healing, to truly be open to the intimacy and vulnerability of real love as adults we must first take the journey of inner liberation to free the unborn self from its illusions regarding love. We must first dismantle the walls of defense erected long ago to protect the golden but shamed self. To go to love without liberation is to invite dependency, fear of loss, and a persistent dark cloud of doubt around worthiness that no other person can ever remove. The search for the liberating other can mesmerize us for decades before we realize that the real needed partner for the journey is the ego self, willing to take the plunge into the darkness and find its lost soulmate, waiting within.
Love lies buried within
Dismantling the protective walls surrounding the true self is the task of recapitulation. In recapitulation, the present self—forged through years of heroic efforts—becomes the midwife to the golden self. Practically speaking, this means truly suspending judgment and being fully present to the truths of the buried self. These truths may come full of excruciating physical and emotional pain. As the present self meets the eyes of the buried self, it mirrors compassion and total acceptance, encouraging the buried self to reveal its deepest truths with all its emotional intensity. Without collapse, deep shame, rage, hatred, and sorrow are systematically allowed to be fully felt. Gradually, the power of the old feelings to shut down access to the gold is diminished.
As recapitulation progresses, it becomes clear that there is nothing more powerful than the truth of the self and its unborn potential for fulfillment. Driven by its desire for this fulfillment, the ego self welcomes and ultimately merges with its lost self in the truest of loving unions. In this mirror of acceptance, regardless of what is presented, lies the deep validation needed to encourage new life and for transformation to blossom.
With this union, the self is finally freed to open to the outer world and enjoy extraverted love and fulfillment. And now, a glimpse into the mirror reveals only the glowing golden self looking back.
Life teaches. Life itself shows me the lessons I must learn each day. Can I allow life to have so much power? Can I acquiesce to that truth, that I don’t really control anything, but that life itself in its everyday flow brings me everything I need?
I must stay on my path no matter what comes to greet me...
The world outside of me, my inner world, my dreams, relationships, challenges, choices, and actions are all part of nature’s flow. Yet I must struggle with wants, needs, and desires. I must struggle with feelings and emotions. I must struggle with what others ask of me and what I ask of myself. I must struggle with staying in balance, connected to my inner truth, yet kind, respectful, and considerate of others. At all times, I must grapple with what life presents me with while staying on my path, spiritual and otherwise. I must join the flow of life in taking me where it will, yet at the same time I am responsible for making decisions, not simply acquiescing, but doing what is right.
Ever since our return from our island retreat, which I wrote about in last week’s blog, I have dreamt of islands. Every night I confront an island situation and every morning I wake up knowing that my island dreams are asking me to flow with the life I am in, to seek balance in all my experiences. Islands offer constraint, limitation, boundaries, and confrontation with constraint, limitation, and boundaries as well.
Last night I dreamed again of being on an island, trekking a long road to get to a cabin on the tip of a sandy island. Upon entering the cabin, Chuck and I find the windows locked shut, the window sills covered with Catholic statuary of Jesus and Mary, in single and group settings with lambs and children. Too hot and stuffy, our immediate reaction is that the windows must be opened to let the wind blow through. Chuck immediately opens a window, knocking a statue to the floor, breaking it. The couple whom we are renting the cabin from stand nearby, the woman on the outside of the windows, the man inside the cabin. I see the woman’s face fall into sadness as the statue breaks. I hear the man, standing behind me, gasp. I sense that they must let the statues go, that they can no longer control what gets in or goes out. Chuck opens another window and another, each time knocking the statues to the floor where they smash into pieces. I sense fear from the couple, but Chuck and I feel much better.
I look at the dream symbolism: island equals limitation that is further constrained by dogma—imposed by others—creating barriers to the flow of life’s energy. Rigidity does not allow for the free flow of energy or life. It creates a false sense of security, a false sense of protection. What is there to be afraid of? Everything that the couple fears appears in the guise of Chuck and Jan, who ask that nothing be in the way of the flow of energy. Let it in, let things go that are no longer helpful or necessary, and be open to what comes as a result. These are the things that we must contend with in everyday life.
Limitation amid excess...
My dream is all about gaining and maintaining balance in the direct flow of everyday life, life unleashed, uncontrolled, unrestrained. Too much of anything is dangerous, yet often we must accept excess in order to discover things about ourselves, but we must also learn how to live surrounded by excess and remain in balance.
Returning from our island retreat presented us with returning to the excess that normal life constantly barrages us with; too much of everything is available to us at all times in our modern era. Our island retreat was thoughtfully planned for, just enough food, the essential necessities taken care of, but our human selves would have to remain aware that there were limitations. That part of life was easy on the island, restriction accepted, moderation became the norm. Nature however, still existed on the island, nature flowing freely. That too had to be accepted and restricted, granted moderation. Too much sun leads to sunburn. Wind, rain, fog, seagulls, icy ocean waters, and the darkness of night had to be accepted too. Moderation flowed nicely into our island days. Things were clear.
Moderation continues to be important, most necessary as the excesses of life surround us, seeking to sweep us off our feet. The man and woman in my dream, representing other aspects of the self, showed me the side of the self that is fearful of not being able to handle the intensity of life’s energy. Yet Chuck and I, representing the flowing spirit selves in the dream, are more open to it, for we know that we must let it in or we will suffocate. At the same time that these selves do present a kind of balance, that balance is restricted by the extremes of fear and excess. They must come together in a new balance that takes into consideration their separate realities, limited only by what is right.
Our spirits require unrestricted access to the energy of all life. Yet in opening the windows to the flow of life we must also be prepared to accept what comes. We must prepare ourselves to be modest, considerate of what we can handle and what we must hold off on until we are ready. We must challenge ourselves to stay connected to our inner truths and the paths we are on, to take our journeys without limitation, yet always with thoughtfulness and constant monitoring: Am I being moderate? Am I being excessive? Am I being restrictive or limiting of my experiences? Am I in balance?
I must study the deeper meaning of what comes to me...
When I am challenged with something, I ask myself to study the meaning of what life is presenting me with. Even though I may have an instantaneous reaction, I know it may not be right or true, though sometimes it is indeed. However, I must turn inward and ask myself to feel through to what is the right thing to do or feel about a certain situation before responding. Then I must decide what action to take so that I may remain true to myself and the path I am on. I will not deviate from my path and so I know I must always connect to my deepest inner truth, and yet I must be honest, thoughtful, respectful, and deeply sensitive of others as well. Though life may blow me off my path for a moment or two, I must step right back on it and reassert my intent to grow, for that is the intent of my spirit, of all of our spirits.
I must train myself to stand in the full force of life’s energy and, in modesty and moderation, be who I truly am. I must allow the statuary, the icons I put up to ward off life, to be broken so that I may face what life has in store for me. I must let things go that are not serving me in my quest. In my dream, though I felt sorry for the woman and man when their statues broke, I simultaneously knew that it was time to let them go. I must face what I have in myself that I am still holding onto and no longer need.
Upon awakening, I accept that though I am no longer on an island in reality, I have the island inside me at all times. I return to my island retreat, pulling inside to study the lessons that islands offer, as I seek moderation in the fullness of life.
Keep love in your hearts for all beings. Do not carry resentment or regret for lives lived, but seek release and redemption from all that now holds you captive by releasing the self from inner turmoil so that peace may reign, within and without.
Though you live so fully in that world of outer reality, it is the inner journey that must be taken in order to reach a new level of consciousness, both within the self and in relation to the world outside of you. Constant attention to the inner workings of your mind, body, and spirit is necessary in order to achieve calm love in your heart for all beings, including the self.
Facing your inner turmoil will lead to finding love in your heart, first for the self and then for others. Find the reasons for your sorrows and you will find joy. Find the reasons for your pain and you will find release. Find the reasons for the constant worries of the mind and you will find peace of mind.
All in all, it is only in constantly attending to the self as a spiritual being on a journey to wholeness that change will occur. Let the self be taken forward on that journey each day. With patience, learn to acquiesce to the flow of life, for it will take you where you need to go, show you what you must confront, and guide you to resolution.
Trust all that comes your way as guidance and you will have traversed the first hurdle in taking that journey of change. Challenging though your journey may be, keep always in mind that of all life’s journeys it is the one that matters. At your core you already know this.
Acquiesce a little bit more to that truth, trusting that this day and the events that arise from outside of you and the corresponding reaction that arises inside you are crucial partners as you take your journey. Pay attention to all that arises or comes to greet you as being significant and deeply meaningful, today and all days.
Find release in learning what it truly means to carry love in your heart through deep work on the self. It is truly a loving journey worth every second of your life.
Your daily journey is showing you all that you need in order to evolve. Accept what comes and flow with it, in trust that you are indeed well guided and truly loved in return.
Deeply trusting this journey, channeled with love for all, Jan
Every shamanic gathering I ever attended began with the leader standing at the podium awaiting silence. Then, in ritual format, he/she would state: “My name is __________. I am a being who is going to die.”
Those shamans have learned, through their many journeys through different realities, that it is critical to establish—state with intent—a clear definition of who they are—a name—which serves to hold them together as they confront the myriad of forces present in the world they are interacting with or traveling through. In this world, they add the caveat “a being who is going to die” to acknowledge the limits of the human form, indeed a being on its way to dying.
To state our name before all of infinity is to assume definite responsibility for the life we are living. This is not an act of inflation, of hubris, but an act of validation. I exist in definite form; I assume responsibility for my life.
In the psychological world, our hero self—our ego—must establish itself in relation to the power and infinitude of the personal and collective unconscious. To give our self a name is the beginning of consciousness. “In the beginning was the word, and the word became man.” (John 1:14) Without a name we don’t exist, we are nothing, merged with everything. To exist we must establish ourselves, affirm ourselves, give ourselves a rightful place in the world as a named being.
Many people, especially during recapitulation, must contend with tidal waves of energetic onslaughts from the deep unconscious that threaten to dissolve reality and identity. The experience might be pervasive nausea, dizziness, or disorienting out-of-body energy states, the sensation of being on an endless roller coaster riding at light speed in reverse, into the darkness without pause.
Threatening chaos...
In such moments, we are threatened with a return to original chaos. We visit the land before time, the cosmic sludge, life without definition, without awareness, life without consciousness, for all intents and purposes, death.
Although we may have little or no control over our threatening encounters with our deeper energetic selves, we can and must, as we ride and are tossed about by those giant waves, state, with conviction: I am So-and-So! Stating our name over and over again, adding any caveat we choose, affirms the intent to remain a consolidated, sane being in this world no matter what we must face, establishing an ark to survive the floods of emotion, memory or sensate intensity. Beyond this, that ark establishes a boundary, a separateness, an observing perspective beyond the onslaught, the eye of the storm that offers cohesion and sobriety amidst the chaos.
Remember, as well, that the selves we establish are part of, and fully, the intent of original chaos. Nature chose to become conscious. Human beings reflect that intent, however poorly they manage it. Nature ultimately respects and supports our attempts at consciousness as we define ourselves and describe our world. It may insert an adjustment, a clarification of the true nature of things as it floods our consciousness, but, in the end, it seeks to further consciousness. Clearly establishing your name before it, is an act it will support.
During her own recapitulation journey, Jan encountered the chaos during a dream, a natural part of her process of self-realization and individuation. From her book, The Man in the Woods:
May 1, 2002
In a dream, I write my name in large script across my arm with a big black marker. Suddenly I don’t know who I am; I feel no connection to the name I’m writing, I don’t even recognize it. I don’t even recognize my own handwriting. I begin to panic as I enter an impersonal state, aware that I am nothing. I have no personality, no individual characteristics that I can identify. I no longer recognize myself because I am nonexistent.
“I don’t know who I am,” I say, panic rising higher, but then I calm down as I hear Chuck’s voice telling me that I can fix my dreams, that I can fix anything.
“It’s okay. You’ll be fine,” he advises. “You are you. Just let yourself be you.”
“Just let yourself be you. Just let yourself be you. Just let yourself be you,” I tenderly recite to myself, soothing my panic.
I wake up; those words flowing off my tongue.
Treasures in the aftermath...
In the midst of traumatic recapitulation, as Jan establishes in her dream, it’s important to to remain anchored and aware of the self. Be you. State your name over and over again and the waves will subside. The naming will gain further clarity, as the treasures and trinkets left on the beach as the waves recede are sifted through. In further naming the artifacts of life lived, by more clearly knowing our personal history, we can shed its impact. Identified, named, and filed away, it loses its energetic punch, just as the chaos did in Jan’s dream.
Affirming the self via name also establishes a base for relationship as the ego/hero self can interact and form relationships with the unconscious selves, be they split off parts of the self or entities in the forms of beliefs and thoughts that don’t belong to the self and need to be cast off. Through naming, we anchor ourselves, finding clarity and healing.
State your name. State your intent to remain and become whole. Whether in the midst of recapitulation or facing the everyday onslaughts of life itself, you are a being on its way to fulfillment.
In closing:My name is Chuck Ketchel, a being on the way to fulfillment.
