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Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: I Asked For It

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It seems that this blog, which I began in an effort to highlight how Jeanne’s messages relate and intersect with everyday life, is more or less turning into a blog about setting and awaiting outcome of unbending intent, as the seers call it, at least for now. Over the past twelve weeks I’ve been exploring dreaming intent, in which I had sent out a proposal to the women seers of don Juan’s generation of the sorcerers of ancient Mexico, to come and teach me in dreaming. I was utterly amazed as the nights unfolded and I did, in fact, learn invaluable lessons from those women. That process took place last fall and since then I have continued setting dreaming intent each night that I feel I want to go exploring, and although I do not specifically intend to dream with those women, I know they have continued to lead me on some pretty cool adventures. Some nights I may just want to sleep soundly and dreamlessly and that, too, becomes my intent. On the night of June 2, 2010, right before midnight, I had a most profound out-of-body experience (OBE). It was more vivid than any other OBE I have ever had. Clearly, the shamanic work I am doing and the books I have been reading are major factors in how the experience unfolded and how I reacted to what was happening.

In keeping with Jeanne’s message on Monday of this week, to not hold back, I write today about that experience, sharing it with you not only because it was so profound, but also because it is perhaps the thirteenth step in learning a shamanic practice. Before I describe the experience, I quote a paragraph from The Second Ring of Power, the book I was reading just before going to bed that night. Carlos Castaneda is talking to la Gorda and the women of his own generation of seers about the various stages of learning dreaming from the nagual, don Juan. On pages 269-270 Carlos says:

The final stage was drawing the “attention of the nagual” to focus on the total self. Don Juan said that that final stage was usually ushered in by a dream that many of us have had at one time or another, in which one is looking at oneself sleeping in bed. By the time the sorcerer has had such a dream, his attention has been developed to such a degree that instead of waking himself up, as most of us would do in a similar situation, he turns on his heels and engages himself in activity, as if he were acting in the world of everyday life. From that moment on there is a breakage, a division of sorts in the otherwise unified personality. The result of engaging the “attention of the nagual” and developing it to the height and sophistication of our daily attention of the world was, in don Juan’s scheme, the other self, an identical being as oneself, but made in “dreaming.”

Don Juan went on to encourage Carlos to practice, saying that there are no definite steps for teaching that double, or dreaming self, just as there are no definite steps to teaching ourselves how to be aware in our daily lives; we do it by practicing it from the time we are born. Don Juan also encouraged Carlos to practice without fear getting the best of him. After reading the above quote, I recalled how other out-of-body explorers generally suggest that looking at the self asleep is to be avoided because when attention is drawn back to the physical body it may arouse fear, causing us to snap out of the experience and land right back into that sleeping self. In contrast, I saw that don Juan was actually suggesting that looking at the sleeping self was part of the process in learning to fully “dream.” When I fell asleep that night I merely put out my intent to “see” and to “dream.” Here is my experience, which I will attempt to capture in as much detail as possible:

I wake up and look outside through the sliding glass door of the bedroom. I see what I perceive as an airplane blinking behind the trees in the distance; it blinks quickly and then swings sharply to the left, low on the horizon. As I watch this unusually strange maneuver, I think that perhaps it’s not an airplane after all, but a shooting star. But even that idea does not fit what I’m seeing, because the light doesn’t shoot and burn out, but flies directly towards the deck, which is right outside the sliding door. The light flits about and I wonder if it’s a firefly, but I’ve never seen one this big nor one that zips about so happily, bouncing in the air, its fat body large and bright, a luminous elongated egg-shape, and not blinking on and off like the light of a firefly.

During all of this I am partially sitting up in bed, feeling extremely uncomfortable and awkward, blinking my eyes over and over again in order to clear them so I can see better. I feel very heavy, drugged by sleep, and it’s a struggle to stay sitting up, but something is drawing me to the window. With great effort I get out of bed, still feeling clumsy, as if very intoxicated; my legs don’t work right and yet, somehow, I step over the sleeping dog lying on the floor next to me and make it over to the sliding glass door. From this vantage point, I see that not only one bright light is fluttering and swooping outside in the darkness above the backyard, but more are starting to come from the same spot in the sky. Suddenly, but without fear, I realize that this may relate to what I’d been reading before I fell asleep, that I am “seeing” as the seers see. With that thought I wonder if I’m out-of-body. I recall what I’d just read, that when one can tolerate seeing one’s body lying asleep then one is truly “seeing and “dreaming.” I decide that I’ll turn and see if my body is lying in bed, as don Juan suggested, reminding myself not to be frightened if I see my body lying there, because I don’t want to snap back into it.

I am still feeling very clumsy and think that normally I’d turn slightly and glance over my right shoulder, but that doesn’t feel right in the state I’m in. As soon as I think that thought, I feel myself swing effortlessly around, counterclockwise, in a sweeping 360 degree turn, though I don’t actually move; only my “seeing” moves, as if my eyes can see in all directions. Halfway around, I quickly take in the darkness of the room, that the covers are pulled up, and I see my legs and Chuck’s sleeping form under the blankets, but the top of the bed is in such darkness that I cannot see our heads. When I finish the turn, when I finish seeing the room, I am facing right back out toward the deck and the yard again. I sense my “body” flattened against the sliding door, as if I’m but a thin sheet of cellophane stuck to it.

At that moment, I realize that I’m in my “double,” that I am indeed “dreaming,” and as soon as that thought crosses my awareness the first light-being flies right up to the deck and dances before me. A large egg-shaped luminous creature, about ten or twelve inches in length, it comes right up to the window. Flitting about, it twirls and loops in front of me and, as it begins to fly off to the right, I am struck by how similar it appears to the way I have always perceived Jeanne’s energy, a luminous being with white wings and body, butterfly-like more than firefly-like. As soon as I have that thought, the being flies back in front of me and seems to show me that, yes, it is exactly Jeanne’s energy. It pirouettes before me, flutters its wings and seems to laugh with delight, happy that I’m now perceiving it correctly. I feel its energy, so alive and so vibrant.

As I watch this show taking place, I blink repeatedly, constantly trying to clear my vision so that I don’t miss anything. My mind, however, is still trying to place what I’m seeing, to make sense of what these creatures might be. I have one final thought that perhaps they are luna moths, and just as I settle on that idea, I let it go and pay greater attention to what is happening outside the window. I see the light-beings still coming towards me, pouring out of the same point on the horizon behind the trees, their fat bellies luminously glowing, getting brighter and brighter and bigger and bigger, as they bounce through the air, swooping and dancing towards me.

I stand and watch this beautiful show for a long time, pressed up against the window, blinking and taking in, with a sense of wonder, delight, and amazement, the absolutely serene silent beauty of these creatures, these luminous beings, as they dance and float before me. I’m able to turn and “see” the show to the right and to the left, as well as straight ahead, without actually turning. I’m simply able to “see” in all directions.

As the show continues, I’m fully aware that I’m being given a gift of not only “seeing” and “dreaming,” but also of interpreting energy, that these creatures are showing me what energy looks like, and somehow I understand this. I know that I look like that too, that we are all luminous egg-shaped beings. I know that we are all full of such vigor, potent with energy, that we are energy, that we are incredibly luminescent. I know that we are all magical beings.

I don’t know how long I actually stand there pressed against the window, but somehow I get back into my body, though I don’t remember actually traveling back over to the bed. The next thing I do know is that I wake up, still feeling that drowsy soporific heaviness and I write down in my journal a cryptic description of what I’ve just experienced, not wanting to forget it, but already knowing that I’ll never forget it.

The next morning, the experience remained as fresh and real as it had been the night before. I puzzled over what had actually happened, my mind conjuring up the idea of luna moths again, wanting to settle on some rational explanation for what I’d experienced, but I knew those were not creatures of this world. I still held the truer feeling of having experienced pure energy, coming in a form I could handle, and that truth and that energy has lasted to this day.

This was a turning point. I’ve never doubted what I “saw” and what I felt. My awareness was totally intact, my thoughts were mine; I was always me throughout the entire episode. I truly believe that I received something energetically from those luminous beings during this experience, that I was invited into experiencing my own boundless energy body. I can truthfully say that since that night my personal energy, my physical energy has remained steadily vibrant and glowing. My fears have vanished and I am no longer holding back. This is the world I have worked so hard to enter and I know that I can’t turn back. I can no longer experience or interpret reality in the old way. I humbly report that I learned to “see.”

Try some dreaming. Might I recommend reading a little Castaneda beforehand, or a little Buhlman, then set unbending intent, go to sleep, and see what happens?

Until next week, I send love and energy,
Jan

NOTE: Books and authors mentioned in this essay can be found in our Store.

Messages from Jeanne

#682 Energy is What You Are

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Though it has only been one week since we last communicated it feels like much longer. The energy of the past week stirred up and instigated a lot of stuff, forcing so many shifts that it was hard to keep up sometimes. Today, as I sit quietly in the emerging morning light, the skies are clearer, cloud free, though the winds are still with us. As I look back on the past week I feel like a tumbleweed that has been blown and tossed about by the four winds coming from the four directions all at once. Now I have landed for a while, still and ready to keep learning from what happened during the intensity of last week’s grand shift, as I see it.

When I woke up this morning, I commanded myself to remember, to not forget what I had experienced, to hold onto my awareness, so that I can keep allowing for changes to occur. It is so easy to get drawn back into a routine, to want to fall right back into the oblivion of unawareness. As Chuck wrote about in his blog on Saturday, we got swept up in the energy of the witches and that energy was wild, but we really enjoyed the ride! That energy taught me how far I have come as I have traveled with you and Chuck over the past several years, how detached I have learned to be, and today I realize how different I am, and how much I embrace what the witches teach.

I am open to hearing what you have to say to all of this, but I also wonder if you, in your present state, still embrace the teachings of don Juan and his apprentices?

First, I hear laughter, light and clear as a bell, and then Jeanne speaks: I have never left that world, My Dear, though I have assimilated many worlds in my teachings, as I have transcribed them to you over the past several years. Our work together has encompassed a vast array of ideas and topics, not limited to one facet of understanding, but taking in many ideas of spiritual growth. All such ideas and topics lead to one thing though, and that is an understanding of energy.

My entire collection of ideas, as noted and diligently put down in understandable language by you, my trusty scribe, is focused on teaching what it means to be energy, to become known to the self as a being of energy. This is all that matters. This is what one must learn in order to understand the world of your reality and every other world.

My intention all along has been to find the means, within the context of what you experience on a day-to-day basis, to be pertinent within the context of the lives you live upon that earth. To merely preach of peace and good will, to make promises in exchange for good behavior, to threaten and cajole offer no value but simply keep you bound to old ways. It is of utmost importance that you all understand that you will not evolve from that earth plane if you do not allow your selves to change.

If you do not seek awareness outside of your thinking mind, outside of the facts that appear so full of vital information, such as the grand discoveries of science, medicine, and technology, you will not offer your present lifetime anything different from your previous experiences upon that earth. It may be hard for many to grasp that they have indeed spent a lot of time upon that earth. You have all “been there and done that” many times. Eventually, it is the hope of all great teachers that their students will “get it,” that they will wake up and realize that their experiences in waking and dreaming life are the keys to understanding and seeing the world differently. Opportunities to change arise often, but do you elect to change?

I feel, as I stated, that I have changed a lot. I really do look forward each day to what will arrive as my next challenge so that I can learn more, experience more, and change more. This has not been easy, but the more my intent to change stays present each day, the more open I become. How can people dare themselves to keep going, especially when it becomes difficult, painful, and even frightening?

The best thought I can present you with at this moment, My Dear Readers, is to hold onto the fact that you are a being comprised of energy. If you allow your thoughts of self to dissolve into the nothingness of energy, you may tap into, even for a brief second, the sensation of complete freedom from the human physical self. In learning to detach from the body self and simply feel the energy that is the true you, you offer yourself the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, the ah-ha moment. If your focus is constantly being taken off what is happening in your body, in your reality, with its worries about money, health, children, parents, car payments, decisions to make and the choices that others are making, and instead is placed on energy, you will eventually build up the confidence you need to allow the self to change. In increments, you must learn to crawl through the veils that keep even this energy self hidden from you, though all of you, without a doubt, have experienced this self. And I warrant that it has been quite often.

Begin now to understand fear as a means of teaching you how to access this energy self. Turn your fear into the teacher it really is. When you face a fear, repeat this mantra: I am energy. I am energy. I am energy.

A mantra is a prayer to the higher self, a reminder of truth, of intent, and of desire for that which is unseen, unknown, yet fully known at the same time. When you access your own energy you will see that it is a most familiar and calm place. It is a place of utter stillness, joy, and love. It is a place of understanding, of insight, where the normal confusions and questions dissolve and have no meaning. It is a place of utter presence, without form or attachment. Energy is what you are. Your process is to reconnect to it, inside you, without fear of what that might mean.

The world of don Juan and his apprentices is the world of learning about energy and how it works. It is a world that all of you have experienced, though you may not be familiar with its terminology. But, I guarantee, you have all had experiences of it in energy terms.

Personally, Jeanne, I feel so grateful for my connection with you and Chuck, who I feel are my teachers as well as my partners. I write this now from a place of energy, I know that, and anyone else who has channeled knows what this means. I thank you for guiding me on this journey. I know that experiencing ourselves as energy is how we will learn to evolve, as you have. May we all get there.

See you all in dreaming! That is where you will find me!

I know there are many readers who have been traveling with us for a long time now, though we have not met you. I believe that we can meet in our energy bodies and I invite you to try it, in dreaming. If we intend it with the intent to learn something about how to use and gain access to our energy, to gain control over it and to use it to really change, then we are doing something evolutionary, personally and collectively. So, I throw out an invitation to dream with me in that world of energy, to meet with me, Jeanne, Chuck, the women shamans perhaps too, and to access your energy body. Anybody up for the challenge? As Jeanne says: See you in dreaming! -Jan

Chuck's Blog

# 673 Chuck’s Place: Thank You Petty Tyrants!

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Why are we here? One thing is certain: our time is limited. Our life here is only a visit. In the end, we must leave on what the shamans of ancient Mexico call, our definitive journey.

Unlike other journeys we may take in this world, in preparation for our definitive journey there are no bags to pack and only one appointment to keep, our appointment with death. At that appointment we are required to relinquish our bodies and our attachment to all things material as we enter the unknown in pure energetic form.

Throughout their physical lives shamans enter their energy bodies and take journeys into infinity. Upon returning they report that, though they discover amazing things on these journeys, the true preparation for facing the unknown is in this world, in the form of our encounters with petty tyrants. One major reason for our being in this world is, as I see it, to encounter and master our petty tyrants, the true proving ground for our definitive journey in infinity upon dying.

Petty tyrants can be defined as anything in this world that interrupts or shatters our expectations. Examples may include a crying baby that won’t allow us to sleep, a defiant teenager, an unloving parent, an exploitive boss, a ruthless ex-spouse, a rejecting lover, a condescending partner, a prejudiced teacher, a violent psychopath who physically or sexually abuses, etc. Petty tyrants can also come in the form of natural or unnatural disasters such as earthquakes and wars. In fact, the examples are endless and range from annoying everyday interactions to traumatic experiences. Petty tyrants are not fair, they don’t play by the rules; they devastate us, they use and abuse us, they take what they want, they destroy what they want. Our experiences of petty tyrants force us to relinquish our expectations of common decency, respect, love, or basic entitlements. Although these expectations may be our preferences in this world, they are, by far, not the true nature of reality, which is unpredictable. When faced with a petty tyrant we are thrust into a completely unpredictable, uncontrollable reality where anything can happen, anything goes.

Shamans say that our encounters with petty tyrants provide us with the necessary training to face the true nature of energetic reality; this is our destiny, this is why we are here. Energetic reality is fluid, ever changing. To maintain cohesion in energetic reality we must be able to flow without requirements, that is, preconceived expectations. Petty tyrants force us out of our world into the unknown. If we refuse to accept the unknown and choose instead to cling to our expectations of reality then we are not prepared for our definitive journey. If we insist upon a world that conforms to our expectations, we are not ready to enter the unknown. The Buddhists point out that if we cannot detach from our expectations upon dying, we must re-materialize; that is, reincarnate in the material world for more classes on detachment, with our petty tyrants as teachers. In fact, petty tyrants are our greatest teachers in this world.

The process of mastering our petty tyrants requires that we recapitulate. In recapitulation we face, squarely, all our experiences in life, releasing any attachment to them in the form of anger, resentment, fear, regret, hatred, sadness, self-pity, etc. Staying attached to unfairness, for example, would keep us attached to a predictable world that follows the rules. As long as we hold to the position that we are undeserving of the petty tyrants in our lives we remain deeply attached to creating our own world, a world of illusions, what the Buddhists call maya. Through recapitulation we arrive at a place of complete neutrality toward all our petty tyrants. We let go of any sense of being special or deserving of anything, we simply accept all the experiences in our lives as part of the journey, without judgment. Experiences are simply facts, they happened. With recapitulation we are released to completely let them go, with appreciation for lessons learned. We arrive at a place of readiness to enter an unpredictable world, our tyrants having prepared us well!

When we arrive at the place of utter neutrality, what the shamans call the place of no pity, we are offered the opportunity to thank our petty tyrants for journeying with us and preparing us for our final appointment with death, as we embark upon our definitive journey in infinity.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck