Can we suspend judgment and be open to what comes? – Photo by Jan Ketchel
A first. Jan emailed me her proposed blog for this week, an excerpt from her forthcoming book, The Edge of the Abyss. I say “a first” because generally Jan writes and publishes her blogs before I even know what they’re about. She rarely knows herself until she sits down to type.
As I read her proposal, I cringed protectively. I was concerned that the description of reality she was sharing would be too potentially triggering for those who might read it. It’s incredible writing, with deep value for those who choose to read the book, but I felt it needed to be wrapped in the protective warnings her books offer.
This protective cringing occurred the week before when Jan had published another excerpt from her book—I cringed for the same reason. And once we had discussed my concerns, Jan put a warning on the blog and on our Facebook post regarding the potential for triggers to those who are doing deep work in confronting their own traumatic events. And so perhaps there was a part of Jan that uncharacteristically decided to pass this new blog by me before electing to publish. Her own attachment to her personal experiences at this point is gone, her only concern now is to help people, to show them the way to freedom.
I’m reminded of Taisha Abelar’s cohorts* having to stop her from bringing her two inorganic being friends to an evening lecture at Omega in 1995. They were concerned about the potentially shattering impact that this broader encounter with reality might cause the members of the audience—a visitation from the fourth dimension, a dimension generally hidden behind the veils of the third eye. Taisha merely said, “Oh, really?” She hadn’t even considered the possibility, so used was she to their presence in her own life.
When I expressed my concern to Jan, she immediately agreed. Like Taisha, she simply hadn’t considered this concern, so deeply detached personally she finds herself from the world that once froze her in traumatic ice. Things that once horrified her no longer phase her. She matter-of-factly discusses them and moves on, no triggers.
When Carlos Castaneda advised that we suspend judgment to journey into the true nature of reality, into life beyond judgment, he was taking us deeply into accepting what is, freed from the parameters of what we find acceptable. Only in learning how to suspend judgment will our experiences in the world of true reality have deeper meaning and value. Recapitulation opens the door to fully knowing and accepting what was, however horrific, freeing the self to fully be able to encounter reality without the cushion or necessity of veils. Such was Taisha’s experience; such is Jan’s experience.
Someday spring will come… Photo by Jan Ketchel
Most importantly, however, is that we consciously decide to take the recapitulation journey. As Jan pointed out in her alternative blog this week: When we are ready we will know more fully what we need to know. Perhaps it won’t be this spring or this life, but spring will come, and new life will blossom.
As we discussed Jan’s proposed blog we decided to throw a coin, to let the coin decide. And so we asked infinity whether or not Jan’s first blog should be presented. “NO!” came the response. And so, without attachment, Jan acquiesced and went on to write something else.
The decision to read or not read Jan’s next book is a decision that people will have to make for themselves, in full awareness of the disclosure of the depth of truth to be encountered in its pages. The long awaited book arrives in a few weeks!
Suspending judgment,
Chuck
* Taisha Abelar and her cohorts Carol Tiggs and Florinda Donner Grau were the apprentices, along with Carlos Castaneda, of don Juan Matus.
I love this time of year, the end of winter, the first signs of spring. The birds are fast returning. We have bluebirds checking out the nesting boxes. The geese have been flying south, their travels etched across the sky in long arching Vs. We’ve noticed that the vultures are back too. Where they go during the coldest months I have no idea, but they are noticeably absent in the dead of winter. The daffodils are poking through the ground. The first chickweed is growing close to the house where we get the most sun. The deer that have overnighted in the woods at the back of the house all winter have moved on. We’ve sighted our neighborhood foxes, ready to start the mating process again. We expect to soon see baby foxes playing about as we do every year. And we’ve smelled skunk, a sure sign of spring!
In the dead of winter I began laying out bread crumbs for the birds, only occasionally. I didn’t want to start a new habit after spending so much time breaking myself of the old habits of a lifetime. I noticed that the crows were always the first to arrive. They’d take what they wanted and then the jays would arrive for second pickings. After that, the brave little juncos came and so on down the line. After about an hour there was generally nothing left.
I started to hear the crows calling at about 6:30 every morning, sometimes earlier. “Where’s our bread, Jan!” they seemed to be saying. “We’re hungry!” And so a little guilt crept in; now I felt I had to feed them. I knew our yard was only one stop on their daily rounds through the neighborhood, but I saw that they liked punctuality and that they actually depended on the meagre crumbs I put out. It was exactly what I was trying to avoid—being predictable. But these sentinels of nature, ever watchful, would not let me be so aimless and irresponsible. And so they call me out each morning, very loudly commanding that I contribute to their welfare, that I meet their demands.
We don’t actually eat much bread, so on days when none is available I scrounge through the fridge and pantry looking for something that might appeal. I refuse to buy commercial birdseed, with its chemicals and corporate intent. I believe in recycling. The other day I put out some sweet potato fries. “Thumbs up!” the birds said. “YUM!” Then I put out some stale tortilla chips. “Thumbs down. YUCK!” they said, and the pile of yellow corn chips lies there still. I’m sure that the Jehovah’s Witness who stopped by the other day and stuck a flyer in the door wondered just what that pile of chips—organic too—was doing there!
My observations of nature during winter lead me to write this blog today. I’ve noticed how beneath the snow there is vibrant life, energy gathering for the moment of emergence. When the time is right, the tulips and daffodils poke through the frozen ground, the wild onions pop up, and the first wild garlic-mustard turns toward the morning light. I was thrilled the other day to see just these signs of life as the snow finally melted in our yard. It got me to thinking about us, how the human condition is much like nature.
We too have something struggling to emerge…. Photo by Jan Ketchel
We too have lots of things inside us struggling to emerge, secrets waiting to reveal themselves, beauty waiting to blossom, desires waiting to be lived, repressed memories waiting for the right moment to be known. We too hold back until the time is right. Can I dare to be the person I truly am? Must I wait another season before I finally give myself permission to do this or that? How long can I hold back that which is stirring inside me?
Nature doesn’t think. Nature acts. Nature doesn’t hold back. Nature is in constant flux and change. Nature is constantly transforming even when we think it’s dead, in the dead of winter, frozen and covered in snow. So is our physical body like nature, constantly changing and transforming. Our cells slough off and regrow, our organs totally regenerate every few years, some quicker than that. We aren’t even aware of how like nature our bodies are. Without thought we are like the seasons.
There’s another part of us that lies inside the physical body, our spirit, and even deeper than that lies our soul. Inside this vehicle we call our body these two parts of who we truly are, our ancient reincarnated selves, lie waiting. More deeply hidden from our awareness than even the mysterious workings of our physical bodies, these parts go along with us as we face the world each day and go about our lives. But these are the parts of us that are like the crows calling, asking us to attend to them, urging us to become predictable and reliable sources of nurturance. “Wake up and feed us!” they say. These are the parts that lie below the frozen surface and wait for the warmth of spring. These are the parts that when we are ready will pop up and take us forward on new journeys of transformation and change, in both our inner and our outer world.
In recapitulation, these are the parts that emerge alongside our memories. These are the parts that lead us down the paths of memory and retrieval of self. These are the parts that teach us that we are all the same, that we are all beings of love and compassion. These are the parts that at some point in our spiritual evolution must become the most important aspects of being human. When we are ready we will know them more fully. When we are ready our own springtime will arrive. Until then, I suggest tossing a few morsels of sustenance, a few hellos, a few nods of recognition. “I know you’re there, I’ll be back someday soon.”
It’s okay to wait, but be aware that until the time is right for these parts to emerge and inform us of what we must learn about ourselves, preparations are underway. We may already have received many knocks at the door, asking us to venture deeper into our physical bodies and discover what’s there. We may have already been invited deep inside, gone down to our roots. We may have already gotten to our core issues and our core reasons for living this life we live now. We may have already done a recapitulation or be in the midst of doing it.
The real key to being human is that we are not really like nature at all. We have the ability to think, to reason, and to explore our inner world. We have parts inside us asking us to work with them, to make something happen that will transform us. We have free will, the freedom to learn how to enact our own transformation so we can be different, so we can live our lives in a new unpredictable way, yet fully in alignment with our true spirit and soul nature.
The crows of recapitulation will come calling… Photo by Jan Ketchel
And so, even if it may appear to be quite impossible that we could ever change our circumstances, we really do have the ability to choose how we want to live. We can choose to live as if it were springtime all the time. In fact, I believe this is what our spirit and our soul ask of us, to always be connected to them, to know them in the deepest way.
They ask us to not forget that they are what make us who we are, make us human, for they are the energy behind our human physical body. They ask us to be aware when the snows come, to be ready to thaw the ground and let our flowers blossom in spite of it. They are like the crows calling us to responsible tenure, to attend to these most important aspects of our human condition. It is here, in our spirit and soul selves being allowed to live, that we will truly evolve.
We will know when the time is right to answer the knocks on the door, either in this lifetime or another, but eventually we will all have to answer. We will all have to feed the crows of recapitulation, the spirit connectors that come asking us if we are ready yet.
Today the crows got bread! And my spirit and soul? They got to express themselves in this blog.
From the heart and soul of me, I wish you well,
Jan
Here is Jeanne’s message for today, channeled most humbly. May it be helpful and informative.
The seeker’s intent… Photo by Jan Ketchel
Constant reawakening is necessary if one is to take a deepening journey, if one is to make a life that is truly fulfilling, taking in all aspects of self. Constant reawakening is necessary to truly evolve.
How do we do that?
Become more familiar each day with the inner self, with the layers of the true self beyond the outer layers, beyond the person you are or strive to be in the world. Worldly success will only come, in a meaningful way, if one acts from the heart—keeping in mind both the deeper truths of the human condition and the higher potential of all human beings.
Seek within the self to fully grasp and understand the different parts of the self. Pay attention to your true voice, the one that you know is speaking the truth but that you often elect to dismiss and do as you please. This often leads to failure, disaster, or trouble that you would not otherwise encounter. In order to listen and act on the advice and knowledge of the true self, one must be prepared to forego what the ego or needy self desires. It requires maturity and discipline if one is going to tame the human beast and learn how to act and react from a deeply private and truthful place.
It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to study the self in a deep and meaningful way. It’s okay to say, “No, ego-self, not today. Today we need to say no to the pulls of the outer world and just be calm and introspective. Today we need to be okay with what is. It’s okay to be alone today.”
A process of constant monitoring of self, weighing inner and outer needs, and remaining constantly aware of which part of the self is making the decisions in life will lead to constant reawakenings.
Who is making your decisions today? Slow down, take a minute to listen and find out, then decide if it’s the right voice, for the right reason. Act more frequently from your heart, for yourself and your world. That is how to constantly reawaken.
When anger is present it supersedes all else… Photo by Jan Ketchel
Anger is an emotion rooted in our deeply instinctive selves. Anger has protected our survival through eons of evolutionary growth and rests at the foundation of our human form. Our ability to restrain and supplant the automatic defense of anger, with reason, is the hallmark accomplishment of civilization: a civilized mind.
We know the deleterious effects of anger and its variants—jealousy, greed, negativity, resentment—upon the endocrine glands, respiration, digestion, and the central nervous system. We know the psychic effects of sustained anger and negativity in depression, dissociation, and bipolar disorders.
We especially know the horrific evil unleashed upon innocence when the rational mind teams up with anger to manipulate, groom, and abuse. This potential malevolent partnership inside human beings is capable of perpetrating atrocities unheard of in the purely instinctive animal kingdom.
We cannot eradicate anger anymore than we can eradicate evil. However, if we are to change ourselves and our world, a focus on positive attitudes can shift the color of mood that our deep unconscious pumps through us. The result of positive thought is that we physically experience calmer energy inside us and we are actively calmer outwardly as well.
The unconscious is not a thinking mind; it is a reactive mind. Our thinking mind can decide on an attitude and we can focus that attitude on the body. When I say “calm” and focus on a muscle it relaxes. If I didn’t focus on it, the muscle would not automatically relax. The same goes for the unconscious.
Enough cannot be said about the power of positive thinking. However, to arrive at truly effective positive thinking we must be a united self, providing our instinctive self with a clear, cohesive set of instructions in the form of soothing neuro-transmitted commands.
Taking what I need… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
The truth is, we are fragmented beings frequently working in opposition to a single intent. Our young child self might say, “I need.” The self burned for needing might say, “No, you will get hurt if you need.” The adolescent self might cry out in disgust, “Here’s what’s gonna be: we don’t need anyone, we’ll just take what we want.” Or the defiant teenage self might say, “We don’t need.” The adult might say, “I’m just going to be what they want me to be, this way I’ll get what I need.”
It should be evident that this multiplicity of self can generate an insanity within, as Jeanne pointed out in Monday’s message. This crossfire of attitudes from different parts of the self instructs the unconscious to release different protective angry emotions, directed inwardly and outwardly.
Drawing attention inwardly in recapitulation we identify the satellite selves of the self, appreciate their varying needs, and bring them into the fold of a unified self. Through the recollection of dispersed energy we become a “unified whole,” as the Shamans of Ancient Mexico see it.
Unified wholeness and calmness will come… – Photo by Jan Ketchel
In the process of becoming a unified whole, we must encounter all the selves within and we must accept, express, and release all the emotional energy of our past selves, be it anger or otherwise. This is loving acceptance and total integration of all that we are, all that we have been. With acceptance comes release of the anger once needed to protect, deny, keep separate, and avoid all that was not ready to be known and lived. With acceptance, love supersedes anger, and life moves forward in an ever-deepening quest for wholeness.
With this unity of self, under the auspices of spirit, or the higher self, a clear cohesive message is delivered to the unconscious that rejuvenates the body and mind to give and receive love. This tripartite unity of self—instinctive body self, reasoning mind, and spirit—is then freed to evolve and manifest in healthy proportion resulting in mastery within, advancement without.
