Monthly Archives: March 2011

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Crow Energy

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I set my intent a long time ago to become psychically aware, not to become a psychic per se, but to become aware of the signs and synchronicities in my life that were showing me things I might not have noticed without this intent uppermost in my process of transformation. Today, I write about the significance of the crow as a sign of this intent manifesting in the world. As Jeanne mentions in her message on Monday, we must use the outer world to the fullest in order to grow, and I have found this to be one of the truest statements and especially useful in doing inner work.

In his book Animal Speak, Ted Andrews says this about the crow:

“The first noticeable characteristic about this bird is its striking black color. Sometimes it will have hints of deep blue and purple on the feathers as well. Black is the color of creation. It is the womb out of which the new is born. It is also the color of the night. Black is the maternal color and thus the black night gives birth to a new day. Although the crow is a diurnal or daytime bird, it reminds us that magic and creation are potentials very much alive during the day. The crow, because of its color, was a common symbol in medieval alchemy. It represented “nigredo,” the initial state of substance—unformed but full of potential.”

As I wrote about last week, in recounting our experiences with the death of our dog in On the Wings of the Crow, a crow made repeated passes over the house, a sign I noted as the energy of our dog moving on to new life, the transformation from one state of being to another. Had I not been deeply immersed in the process of my original intent—to become more aware—I might have missed the opportunity to round out the experiences of that day in such a satisfying and transformational manner.

The crow has continued to show itself. In fact, in our rural neighborhood, crows are some of our most vocal neighbors, posting themselves as sentinels for other crows and birds, but for their human neighbors as well. I have learned to pay attention to the noisy crows. More often than not, if I hear a racket of crow energy I can be pretty sure that something of interest is happening in nature. If I am alert, I know I will be treated to a little magic. Paying attention to the crows has become one of my personal educational processes as I seek to train my awareness, so it was not unusual for me to take note of the cawing crow outside the window on the day of Spunky’s death.

It was lovely to have the warmer weather over the weekend, rainy though it was. The twenty-four inches of snow still covering the ground, having accumulated since last December 26th, melted away as we watched the winter weary lawn reappear and the first green tips of the daffodils peak up from the cold ground, letting us know that spring was not far off. It was drizzling a little on Saturday, though warm enough to be outside for a nice long walk, but then, on Sunday, it rained—torrentially. The wind blew all day and all night, and then the rain changed to freezing rain and then it started to snow. In the middle of the night I heard the loud cracks of branches breaking in nearby trees and ice crystals pelting against the windows. Up at five-thirty we were astounded to see the ground covered, blanketed in snow again, our hopes of an early spring dashed.

Once again I armed myself with my trusty snow shovel and headed out late in the day on Monday, after a full day’s work, to clear what snow remained on the driveway and pathways. It was still cold, only the top layer of snow had melted during the day and I was left to remove the thick layer of ice I had heard falling through most of the night. I was not feeling especially happy about undertaking this task yet again, now getting quite tiresome after a full winter of weekly snowstorms. But the sun was shining and when I looked up into the branches of the oaks and maples the late afternoon light coming through their ice-covered branches was beautiful against the still blue sky. Squinting into the light, the glistening branches turned into thin fingers of refracted light and rainbows of color danced before my eyes, and this lightened my mood considerably and the work wasn’t so hard after all.

A big black crow flew overhead, cawing loudly, as I shoveled and I noted its presence and once again thought of our dog Spunky and an incident that happened just a few days after her passing. I had gone to the woodpile to get a load of wood for the woodstove. Stepping out the basement door I heard something scrambling on the other side of the woodpile, out of sight. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it sounded big. I thought an animal was most likely rooting through the compost pile, taking frozen bits of food scraps, scrounging for something edible. I surmised it had been a hard winter for the animals with the thick frozen snow cover and so I did not want to disturb whatever might be feasting on whatever our frozen scraps could offer.

I quietly crept up to the woodpile, but whatever it was must have heard me coming, for I heard a quick scurrying. Not knowing what to expect, a little wary, I waited to see what might appear. Suddenly, I heard a heavy shuffling and a loud bark, as a large crow spread its heavy wings, staggered off the compost pile, and flew into a nearby tree. It landed on a branch, turned and looked back at me, cawing loudly, almost barking, its body bobbing up and down, looking and acting very much like a dog vigorously barking an excited greeting.

“Oh! Hello there, Spunky!” I said, without hesitation. “Nice to see you again. I see that you are well.” The crow responded with more happy barking caws as it watched me load up my wood sack with logs and, as I turned and headed back into the house, I noted that one of Spunky’s favorite little outings was to sneak off to munch at the fresh compost, rotting banana peels one of her favorite treats.

As I shoveled the driveway, I noted again the large crow, and acknowledged its presence as that of the energy of Spunky: energy transformed, still viable, still present, still seeking connection. I also noted that I no longer feel doubt creeping into my experiences as I did in the past. For the longest time doubt was the greatest petty tyrant and I was forced to deal with it again and again. In my interactions with Jeanne, in my personal encounters with phenomena of energy and magic, it would immediately sweep in and hurry me back to the world of solid reality, asking me to test my experiences against the rational mind, what the seers of ancient Mexico call the foreign installation. It took a long time and many battles against the foreign installation, against the world of solid objects, before I was able to suspend judgment and fully release my attachment to an old perception of reality and fully embrace a different reality, different means of perception, and finally to release myself from my ego’s embarrassment and dismay at the birthing of my psychic abilities.

Now however, after having dealt doubt so many deadly blows, it rarely creeps up on me. Now freed of its heavy depressing cloak of reality I can fully enjoy the magic of the world I elect to live in, the world of all nature. I can look into the magic of light dancing through the ice-covered branches of the trees and hear the barking crow and connect to the energy of all things, myself included.

Every time I go outside now there seems to be one large black crow calling more loudly than the others. I greet its energy and thank it for showing me once again that my intent to notice is working for me, my desire to understand the interconnectedness of all things is being given priority within that intent and that desire, and I thank my innocent self for taking the journey that has allowed me to get to this place. For I feel free now, open to life in a very different way. Without the petty tyrant of doubt I am indeed free to experience the magic, but I am also free to keep taking it one step further, into deeper awareness.

Open to learning more about how the world of energy works, I look forward to each moment of each day, taking note of what I read, what I hear and see, and how in alignment with nature I am becoming. In noting how synchronicity works, in paying attention to what comes to greet me, I continue training my awareness, my psychic abilities; the ability inherent in all of us.

I take the sign of the crow as meaningful and I listen to what it has to tell me. As Ted Andrews also writes about the crow:

“Wherever crows are, there is magic. They are symbols of creation and spiritual strength. They remind us to look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life. They are messengers calling to us about the creation and magic that is alive within our world everyday and available to us.”

Be open to the magic, and without doubt embrace your own psychic abilities; take note of what life presents, and without fear embrace the energy of interconnectedness.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below. And don’t forget to check out our facebook page at: Riverwalker Press on facebook. And you might also note the synchronicity of the quote for the day on our facebook page that Chuck selected, quite in alignment with what I have written about today, unbeknownst to both of us. Synchronicity in action!

Thanks for reading and passing these blogs on to others! Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan

NOTE: Animal Speak by Ted Andrews, and many other books of interest are available for purchase through our STORE.

News and Notes

A Note About Riverwalker Press on Facebook!

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Dear Fellow Journeyers,

Today’s message from Jan and Jeanne is posted below. But first, here is our latest news.

After much deliberation we have opened a facebook page for Riverwalker Press with the pure intent of broadening our accessibility to those who might find our work to be of value.

As Chuck notes: Carl Jung once said that for a tree’s branches to reach heaven its roots must reach hell. There are two sides to everything, a light and a dark. I know that in several blogs I have decried the self-importance trap inherent in facebook. On the other hand, facebook may be credited in large measure with bringing down an old regime in ancient Egypt.

We enter into this new relationship with facebook well aware of this duality and intend to navigate it with purity of purpose appreciating its potential value in allowing the people to share information independent of spin and the marketplace.

The truth is, there is real value in an energetic medium that replicates the true energetic interconnectedness of all things.

We invite you to go to our facebook page and “LIKE” us! Or not! Look for links to our various blogs including Jeanne’s channeled messages, Chuck’s Place and Jan’s A Day in a Life, as well as other information of note as it arises, including a daily mantra or quote, starting today.

We hope you are all well and we look forward to staying connected with you.

Here is the link: Riverwalker Press on facebook

Most Fondly,
Chuck and Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#749 Practice Remembering

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Written by Jan Ketchel and including a channeled message from Jeanne Ketchel.

After a couple of weeks of muddled energy when tempers flared and there seemed to be little clarity in spoken words, no matter how concise, I feel a new sense of energy, vital, clearly present and alive. I feel that I am often strongly connected to what is happening in the cosmos, feeling it energetically, though I find it hard to keep track of what planet is in what alignment with what. Just feeling it is enough to realize that a time of shift is necessary, whether I like it or not, and I know I must accept the push to attend to personal issues. This has been the case lately.

Now I feel a shift away from the volatile and into the simmering and, as we begin a new week, I ask Jeanne to give us a message of guidance as we enter this new phase, in the cosmos as well as in our everyday lives on this earth. My awareness warns me not to settle back into an old rut, not to become complacent or lazy now that the intensity has waned, but to remain alert to the truths learned, moving forward with them. I believe we are still in a time of meaningful transition and will be for the rest of our lives. Can you comment, Jeanne?

My Dear Ones: Indeed, it is not at all time to settle back, either into old ways or into rest, but to continue pointing in that new direction that has been revealed to you.

During a time of revelation, as has been the situation among you, it is equally important to carry through once the blazing light of clarity and truth has dimmed or been withdrawn. When darkness descends at the end of the day, that which was revealed in the light of day remains. Keep this in mind as you forge ahead in your lives.

Truths once revealed remain clearly true. Do not lose sight of them, but keep them close to your hearts. Carry what you have learned forward now, whether it be a personal issue, a universal issue, a political issue, a deeply necessary issue of self truth, or even an enlightening process of spiritual worth, not necessarily everyday stuff nor meant for others to share. Whatever your revelation has been, the next step in the process is to keep it uppermost in your attention, allowing it to remain apparent in your awareness. For you all need the light of revelation to guide you as you go into the darkness.

The darkness always returns, but after each time of revelation it is not as dark as it was previously.

Today, I suggest that a practice of remembering be instituted. Call to mind what you have lately learned about the world, about the self, keeping the bitter truths alongside the beautiful truths, and do not forget what has been revealed to you.

Your process throughout your life is to remember. There is much to be recalled, the ancient and unknown not the least of it by far. But even each ordinary day, news is delivered to your awareness and your process is to not only notice it and learn from it, but to assimilate what you become aware of so you can evolve, never forgetting it.

I turn now to a final note: Your main purpose in life is to remember why you are there, and to figure out what direction to go in. You are both looking backward and forward simultaneously, your soul intent on learning and exploring to the fullest. Why you are there, understanding your reason to the fullest requires constant contact with the outer world, for it presents you with your evolutionary potential. In other words, there is much life ahead of you in the world you live in.

Learn from where you have already been, accepting the truths of the self, in order to face and truly explore your future. The doors are always wide open, in both directions, whether it is time to turn inward to explore or outward to explore. It is up to you to accept the terms of your personal adventure. I say, go for it. There is nothing to lose and only joy and truth to gain.

Living fully takes a certain amount of detachment, but that is another subject. For now, accept who you are, where you are, and find out why you are there at this moment, but don’t ever stop changing and growing. That is the challenge all must face. No matter what the energy outside of you is proposing, seek always to remember:

I am an evolving energy being and I elect to fully live!

Thank you Jeanne! Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below. Also check out our facebook page at: Riverwalker Press on facebook. And thank you for passing the messages on!

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Lifting the Veil of Self-Blame

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What masquerades and torments as self-blame is often, underneath it all, the placeholder for painful truths we are not ready to assimilate. How does this work?

Trauma comes in many forms, but what makes all trauma, trauma, is the encounter with an experience we are unable to assimilate. By assimilate, I mean, able to take in—physically, cognitively, emotionally—the full breadth and truth of an experience regardless of how disruptive, intrusive, or devastating it might be.

When we are unable to assimilate part or whole of an experience we must store it within ourselves, in some form, until the day we are ready to fully assimilate, or recapitulate, the experience.

The storing of traumatic experience creates a fragmentation within the self because one part of the self can no longer communicate with, or know about, another part of the self. However, some form of inter-self communication can occur in a traumatized self, if the traumatized part wears a disguise that doesn’t reveal the truth hidden within, the real trauma.

Self-blame is often a disguised trauma. How does that work?

Self-blame implies “criminal” activity. This criminal part of the self is seen and felt as bad, abusive, unworthy, lazy, unlovable, or inadequate. On some level we hold onto self-hate and loathing, and blame ourselves for all the misery in our lives.

We then get caught in a cycle of old guilt and compensatory intentions and efforts to improve the self, to reform the criminal. Inevitably we fail, and around and around we go on this vicious wheel of suffering and redemption as our inner criminal resurfaces over and over again.

But, what if this blamed self is actually hidden trauma? After all, isn’t a trauma itself actually a “criminal” who invades our stable lives? Isn’t the trauma actually bad and abusive? Isn’t there an aggressive intensity inherent in trauma equivalent to the punitive energy of self-blame? Perhaps self-blame is the perfect placeholder for trauma and the unrecapitulated self.

In order to discover the true culprit behind the mask of self-blame, we must avail ourselves of Carlos Castaneda’s number one intent: Suspend judgment! Suspending judgment, in the context of lifting the veil of self-blame, means assuming a perspective of detached objectivity. We are looking to both understand the energetic function of self-blame in our lives, as well as discover the true nature of the experiences we have carried under the guise of self-blame.

As I pondered the energetic influences this past week, I consulted The I Ching. I received the answer of The Marrying Maiden, hexagram #54. This hexagram selects the role of the concubine to illustrate being selected to play a part, not for personal reasons, but because of the impersonal needs of others. How do we navigate being acted upon, as in the role of the concubine, simply because we are there and can fill a need of others, however inappropriate? If this is the objective truth of it, however distasteful and unacceptable that situation may be or feel, the truth is: it is impersonal.

Accepting the reality of the impersonal in our lives is a daunting challenge. To hold onto the truth of the impersonal and not change it back into the personal and self-blame, as a means of holding onto some degree of control, is what suspending judgment is all about.

Perhaps for decades we’ve needed to disguise the truth of abuse in self-hate. Can we now allow ourselves to know the real facts of that abuse? Can we now allow ourselves to encounter the truth of the impersonal forces that acted upon us, totally for their own needs? Can we face that we had no control and did not matter, in any sense?

In another example of impersonal experience: Can we take in that we were not loved, but that it was completely not personal—it was simply not our fault? Can we let go of our illusions of those we loved, and needed to preserve as loving people, in order to feel safe and cared for? Are we ready to take down the defenses that protect our wounded selves and release our true innocence, or do we need to hold onto the shield of badness and self-blame? Can we accept our lovableness, though others could not? Or, again, must we continue to protect ourselves with a cloak of unworthiness and self-blame?

Are we ready to release ourselves from the illusions of badness we repeatedly uphold through compulsive, self-destructive behavior patterns that falsely substantiate our sense of unworthiness? This is how that criminal wheel of suffering and redemption keeps spinning. Perhaps, for instance, we hold onto laziness as an ancient means of protecting parents who didn’t love us. In this example, we carry our laziness as a way to blame ourselves for our parents rejecting behavior. In other words, we deserve rejection because we are lazy. This keeps us from being confronted with the impersonal reality that they may just have been incapable of loving, and it was not our fault. Are we ready to face this truth, allow ourselves to break the criminal hold of self-destructive behavior and release the parents we’ve held onto for some kind of security? Can we release ourselves from this ancient flawed perspective and accept our lovability? Are we ready to be the adult self that suspends judgment and frees our innocence, seeing clearly, and releasing all who crushed our hopefulness and joy?

Are we ready to not flip self-blame into blame? If we attach to blaming others we remain bound to a new criminal. This is not about having to forgive. This is about being an adult and an innocent self, ready to open to life with a new found wholeness. With the truth revealed, the self is no longer bound by old ideas and fragmentations. The criminals, once needed to house unrecapitulated events, can be released.

Are we ready to come out of the shell of the blamed self and allow fresh air to touch our innocence? Lifting the veil of self-blame takes great courage and may take a lifetime, but it promises fulfillment in this life and opens the door to new worlds of possibility.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: On the Wings of the Crow

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I dreamed all night, chasing after a fearful Spunky the dog, as she fled from room to room, terrified, unable to settle down. I agonized over her process, as I followed after, wanting her to have calm contentment, to be given respect and quiet, but there was too much stress around her and in my dream she just could not settle down. Then, I heard a voice say: Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember. Now, as I dreamed through the rest of the night, still following our dog from room to room, this voiceover continued to speak the same sentence until I woke in the morning with it still ringing in my ears.

The next day was the day we had arranged for the vet to come to the house to euthanize Spunky. She was in her eighteenth year and by the beginning of the week we saw the clear signs that her end was near. She became increasingly incontinent and could not get up by herself. Once up it was agonizing to watch her try to lie back down as she circled and circled and then slowly plunked to the floor with a deep groan. We saw her fear of falling on the ice and snow escalate as she refused to go outside, standing at the door and then turning away. We dealt with the soiling and daily cleaning of her bedding, giving what little we could to this most noble soul in her final days. And finally, as she slept in deep comalike states for most of the day, we acquiesced to the truth of her journey’s end here on earth. It was not fair to keep her in this world any longer. She was in pain, and her quality of life was greatly compromised. We noticed that her nose was still in good form though; sniffing out tempting odors from the kitchen still her greatest pleasure.

In contrast to my busy night of dream worry, the day dawned quiet and calm. Spunky, fully aware of the significance of the day, as she had been all week it seemed, continued to let us know, by her deteriorating condition, that we were making the right decision for her. We were determined that her last day with us, and her passing, be as stress-free as possible under the circumstances, and this became the central intent of the day.

The information I had received in my dream the night before stayed with me from the moment I woke up. I knew it was significant, though I had yet to fully grasp its meaning. Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember. I told Chuck about my night of dreams with Spunky, about my worry that she would be frightened and anxious. We had already decided which room we wanted her last moments to be lived in, but after my dreams I decided that we should prepare appropriate bedding throughout the house and let her choose where she wished to recline. With that in mind we spent the morning hours quietly making preparations while she slept in our bedroom.

Spunky was Chuck and Jeanne’s dog, and their children’s pet, before she came into my life. In my imagination I see her following Jeanne around as she tended to follow me around, sitting at my feet while I worked, her herding instinct keeping track of all activity, making sure everyone was in view. The first time I met her I was sitting on a small wicker sofa in the sunroom when Spunky wandered over to me. Jumping up, she squeezed her big body next to me on the tiny sofa and lay down, gently putting her head in my lap. Chuck, greatly surprised, exclaimed: “She’s never done that—not to anyone!” We sat like that for a long time, quietly taking in each other’s calm energy. I felt completely welcomed and clearly accepted by this big dog, totally compatible.

Chuck’s daughter, away at school and unable to be here with Spunky on her last day, had sent us an email to read to her dear doggie, thanking her for the long life they had experienced together as sisters and best friends. As Chuck sat next to her and read Erica’s words, Spunky put out her paw, laying it on the printed sheet of paper, acknowledging the sweet truths and, then, when she had heard enough, she shifted away, grunted, as if to say, “Stop now, I’m done.” This was also Spunky, as unsentimental as they come; she’d heard enough. She was always open to a good cuddle but she’d just as easily push you away when she was done. This is what we felt she was telling us now, I’m done with this life; let me be free to go on. I feel privileged to have shared many experiences with Spunky, and to have known this most amazing dog.

The vet was due to come in the afternoon. We lit candles and sat down in the living room, where I had set up a nice bed for Spunky, just where we wanted her to lie, beneath the Buddha, but it was still going to be her choice. It was then we heard her trying to get up in the other room. Of course it was her nose that roused her, as we had just made some lunch. We helped her up and watched as she hobbled out to the living room, ready for a tasty treat. It was then that she saw the comfy bed I had prepared for her, actually in one of her favorite spots and, just as we would have wished, she went right over to it and lay down.

Chuck and I sat down again, ate our lunch, intending to sit with Spunky over the next hour as we waited for the vet. Sadness began to seep into the room as we reminisced about her. I picked up a book to read and Chuck, feeling restless and in need of some guidance, got up and went into the other room in search of reading material. He came back with The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying in hand. He said his hands just reached for it, his intent to shift the mood guiding him. Opening the book at random, he began to read about bringing appropriate energy to the bedside of the dying. He read that for life to go on without attachment, it is best not to bring sorrow and tears to the bedside of the dying, only joy and good thoughts for a calm journey of awareness, so that the dying one does not feel drawn to stay connected to anything on earth, thus interfering with their journey. This was just what we needed. It gave us the appropriate attitude, exactly the shift we needed to bring us to clear knowing of what we wanted for this lovely dog. We wanted her to be set free to go on her own journey. We did not feel it was appropriate to be sad for her. Her life had been long and fulfilling and we could not hold her back from the next leg of it. It was not our place to feel sadness, only joy and release felt right.

Once again, the voice from my dream came to mind. Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember. Now this phrase made sense to me. As we sat there peacefully, with a very calm and contented dog, I noticed her glancing at us every now and then, as if to say: “Yes, this is right, this is how it should be.” And I felt as if I had done this many times before, indeed, sat by a dying one, knowing exactly what they needed. The fact that Chuck let himself be led to that specific book was part of this knowing. We just had to remember, which was exactly the feeling we had as soon as he read aloud the words that were so appropriate. Oh, yes, that is how we are supposed to act on this most momentous day. We are merely here to assist the dying one with our good thoughts. We are here to send her on her joyous journey. Now we were at peace, all three of us, as we sat together and waited.

When the vet arrived Spunky greeted her with two loud barks. Her back legs now useless, unable to get up, she lay her head back down and waited. It was time and she was ready. Our hands on her at the last moment, I felt her energy leave so easily, so lightly. She was gone with a poof of happy release, without sentiment, off on her journey.

Afterwards, as Chuck and I sat in the empty living room, we felt her absence, but at the same time that her life had been fulfilled. We knew she did not need to hold onto anything here, it was as it should be. Again I was struck that we did indeed know this to be true, and that it was true for all of us. Our time was done when it was done; it was fulfilled. Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember.

I suddenly heard the loud cawing of a crow. It was so loud that I got up and went to the window. And there I saw a giant blue-black crow, sweeping back and forth across the front yard, over the roof of the house and back over the yard again, cawing ever louder. “She’s off on her journey,” I said, as the crow swept past the window one last time, its feathers shiny, glistening in the sunlight. It flew directly south, taking Spunky’s energy. On the wings of the crow, she continues her journey.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Thanks for reading and passing these blogs on to others! Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan