Today, Eva asks Jeanne some questions.

Dear Jeanne,
I am struggling like crazy. Who am I? What am I? Where am I? The confusion and anxiety are endless.

I am struggling immensely over what kind of mother I am. I know I need to make healthy boundaries for my little one, but it literally terrifies me.

I moved here recently, and I panic about if it’s the right place.

I feel like I cannot relate to my husband, and I get angry about every little thing he does.

I don’t like almost all people, yet I feel like I need them.

I feel inadequate and incompetent on so many levels; it makes me spin with anxiety.

And I’m weepy, weepy, weepy, yet never getting a satisfying cry. It’s like my emotions are wavy, going up, down, all over the place.

How can I deal with this? I feel so alone.
Thanks,
Eva

My Dearest Eva, your troubles do not stem from inadequacy or incompetence, but from the little girl inside of you who asks you to guide her, even as your little one needs guidance. As a mother are you learning what it means to be responsible for the children you bring into the world; how to set boundaries (as you call them); how to guide them to learn what life is all about. You have two little girls to nurture and guide, and that appears to be causing your greatest confusion.

All other problems stem from this inner truth. You have allowed your inner child self to have too much power and now, as you see her reflected in your daughter, do you find that her actions are unacceptable, but she has not been instructed in how to act outside of your inner self.

Now as your own responsibilities increase, as you deal with being a citizen in the worlds of parenting and partnership, and a community member, does your inner child protest the change in position and power she has commanded all these many years.

I see that you have a queen sitting upon the potty throne, yet does she not know the first thing about command or presence in the world. She has lived in her own kingdom, even as you have grown up and gone on to become a mature woman, mother, and wife. She has remained upon her throne. Yet, if you look closely at her throne it is not the throne of an adult priestess-in-charge, but merely a baby replica upon which she sits and fusses. For you have left her there as you have gone on into the world of reality.

Your first step in gaining balance in your life must be to calmly center your self each day. To pray mantras of safety and centering; to consciously shift your self into your adult self often, throughout your day, in order to be Eva the Great, the Ruler of the Land you Inhabit.

Your child self will protest greatly, but you must proceed, no matter how much she tantrums. You must do the same with your own daughter, showing her how the world works; teaching her the rules, showing her the paths available, giving her choices within the restrictions of life. For even as you wish life to be free and easy, so are there rules to follow, laws to abide by, and general rules of conduct that must be taught, learned, and adhered to, in order for functionality to become simply a habit.

You must teach your child that the rules apply so that certain aspects of life may be dealt with easily, without forethought; so that right becomes clearly delineated from wrong; so that truth becomes known; and so that deceit, lies, and untruths do not prevent growth and progress. These issues and rules apply to the inner world and the outer world; the inner child and the outer child.

Who are you? You are, as I said, Eva the Great. You are an adult, a mature woman who lives upon that earth and has come very far, done many things; achieved a place now. Your place of residence, your home that you wonder about as being the right place, is of course the right place. You are there because you must be there, confronting aspects of the self within those walls, discovering the little queen residing within, who seeks to overthrow Eva the Great and take over this kingdom of home.

Your young one does not know the rules of this world, and especially the rules of the Kingdom of Eva. (I speak of your inner child, as well as your physical daughter, when I speak of your little one, so you must relate to both at once.) Your little queen is lost in this world of reality. The only thing she can do is sit upon her throne, already established as her territory, for she knows no other. Now must you determine how you want your home and your kingdom to be. You wish for calm, for balance, for sensitivity, for life to flow, and for old ideas of the self to shift so that your life may proceed on a more even keel. Your balance is most important as you continue this task of integration. For that is what your battles are about; integrating the parts of the self that have lived separate lives, struggling alone in their own worlds, each seeking to remain in command, while you, Eva the Great, have forged ahead into life.

Your problems are quite solvable, My Dear, but you must anchor your self. Look around at all that you have achieved. Look upon your world with a new vision; not of crumbling world in disaster, but as pieces of a puzzle that you are slowly picking up, examining, and placing together in a manner that is most pleasing to you. You are creating your own world now. All of the pieces exist, you just have to see them as not only present, but as ready partners for this time in your life. Even your anxiety, your weeping, your flow of emotions are part of that puzzle. Your home, your husband, your daughter, your inner child self, and all the people outside of you are members of your kingdom. What do you want your kingdom to look like, My Dear Eva?

Yes, who are you? What are you? Where are you? Have I given you an idea? Have I offered you a new way to view your self? In reality, are you strong, capable, clear, and safe in your world. You are fully in charge. You are a competent woman, a responsible mother, a worthy partner to your lost husband. I do not mean to talk about him in a derogatory way, but he is far from you, in his own world; present, but not present in your world. Do your separate worlds collide? Or do they open their doors and windows to each other, to exchange pleasantries and much more? Do your worlds offer possibilities of convergence, of exchange of ideas, of possibilities to grow, to mature together upon the same path, for as long as that path may run? These things must you of course ponder, but I suggest that you take one thing at a time. Prioritize your conflicts, your battles, and tackle them one at a time.

The boundary issues with your daughter are confronted by all who wish to raise children of conscience and of heart upon that earth. Your job as a mother is to teach, to love, to nurture, but also to allow your child to experience the world. Her own world will be different from your world, but this can only be true if you allow her to discover this. She will not wish to grow up confined to your kingdom alone. But she must be allowed to discover that there are other kingdoms. For how will she evolve if she is restricted and unable to maneuver in the world outside of Eva?

Your child is lent to you, so that you may aid in the evolution of mankind; so that you may offer the world an evolving being who will, in turn, offer the world some new perspective that will aid in the progress of all. Teach your child what you already know about the world, about how it works, but do dare your self to allow her to teach you what you are afraid of. Allow her the freedom to explore, even as you show her the rules and the expectations that she needs to learn in order to navigate the world, even as you have had to learn.

I caution that you not be too strict, but that you be strict enough; that you not be too protective, but protective enough; that you not be overly loving, but loving enough; that you not inhibit, smother, or burden her, but that you protect, guide, and allow her the freedom she needs to explore her own world. Her own world is not your world, though she resides in your world for now. She has come to you to learn how the world works, and that is what you must teach her. She does not live in the kingdom of little queen Eva either, and you must not burden her with that aspect of who you are, for in so doing will you sadly burden her with baggage that belongs to you alone.

Your roles are many, and even as you must struggle to integrate your parts of self, so must you maintain your separate roles; keeping them in balance and functioning. Your integration of self will greatly aid in this process. Only as you truly learn about who you are inside, will your outer mature you find her calm place in the world. I speak here of the true value of recapitulation. It is the process whereby you find all the pieces of that puzzle I spoke of, pick them up, examine them, and place them upon the picture of your life, as you construct the true you.

Who are you really, My Dear One? You are all the parts and aspects you have already encountered, and you are also unfulfilled because you have not met the parts of self yet to emerge. But you are doing a good job discovering who you are, what you are, and why you exist.

Your job now is to construct and reconstruct, telling your inner child the story of your past together, while you simultaneously construct and tell your little flower, in this new reality, the true story of your life together. You are the creator of your own reality. As you find your balance and your calm center, use this knowledge to anchor you in the world. You will know what is right as you stay aware of your creative powers to construct the life you need, desire, and want for you, your child, and your husband. If your construction so far is not right; if you are not happy with the work you have done, so do I say that your truths of this will be revealed as you do the work on the self.

Each day do you have the opportunity to do the work of the self. Each day is a new day, with new creative opportunities, and new ideas to flourish. Give your self permission to be in charge of your life, for you must grant your self this power in order to progress. All must do this in order to evolve. For how can you evolve, if you are not in control of your powers? All must learn the rules, and how the world works, in order to fully utilize the powers being offered. Otherwise, is your energy wasted; unchanneled; uncontained in self; spent; undone; drawn outside of you; offered to outside entities seeking to steal it from you.

So to conclude, My Dear Eva, do I suggest that you begin to allow your self to accept your own power. Recognize that your daughter has her own power; that your husband has his; that the people around you have theirs. Your job is to accept that this is true for all and then, without judgment of how others elect to use their power, determine that you will use yours to grow, to teach, to learn, and to nurture your self and your child.

Your inner and outer worlds will begin to merge, more clearly defined yet also more clearly combined, as you continue to do the work of the self. Good luck with your journey in the kingdom of Eva, and the kingdom you continually create!

Today, a Reader asks a question about breaking negative patterns of behavior and resistance to the journey, etc.

Jeanne,
I have, in the past several years, embarked upon a healing journey deeper than ever before and am striving to heal my body, mind, and spirit, and to hold them in congruence with my deepest purpose on heaven and earth. My progress is in fits and starts and I find that the closer I am to a negative pattern breaking, the more it almost strengthens its hold and I “act out” in my life with “symptoms” of resistance toward the growth and healing. Primarily my struggles right now are in trusting the universe that I am divinely protected and secure, and do not need external reassurance or safety to feel whole. This struggle shows up most in my intimate and work relationships where I experience much insecurity, jealousy, envy, and fear regarding my position, importance, role, etc. I sense that my healing work is in my grief, in facing my fear of my deepest loneliness, and I feel stuck. Any advice or direction would be much appreciated.
Thank you,
Nancy

My Dearest Nancy, your dilemma is not one of inconsistency or resistance per se, but is, in fact, one of breakthrough. You get to the point of breakthrough, yet do you not have the strength or the guts to climb over the wall before you. But you do not, in fact, always need to climb over the wall. Often is there a better way, and that is what I will address today, at least in part. For your conflict is most greatly within, and the walls, though looming strong and potent, do not in fact exist.

So, that is where we will begin. Your walls do not exist. Your blockages and your places of misstep do not exist, but are placed there for your growth anyway. So, they do not exist, yet they do exist! See? What a conundrum we have here!

Your growth is based on your intent to evolve. Your inner you is tired of confronting the old issues and is tired of finding that the same patterns of behavior are often repeated. So the inner you shows them to you over and over again, until you no longer need them or find them attractive. But mostly, the inner you will show you these things until you no longer notice them, and that will be the point of clarity. When your walls no longer exist, then will you be able to move on.

Take now another scenario. You speak of negative patterns of behavior, of reverting to sadness, loneliness, and incarceration of spirit in those old patterns. But what are they really except energetic patterns, and in fact do not either exist, except for as long as you need them.

Your spirit does want growth and evolution. Your spirit does seek reconciliation with your past, with your outer self, and with your reactions to what life presents you with. But your inner spirit also knows that you must confront your dilemmas for as long as your need to, and that means until they no longer hold any enticement, power, or cures for you.

Your inner spirit knows that these stumbling blocks, pits, walls, and encasements that you find nearby to wrap your self in are necessary, until they no longer work for you. I think that, energetically speaking, are you at a breaking away point, and this is also a breakthrough point. Just as you are about to release your self from your old behaviors they return to confront you again and again, saying, “Of course you need us. We are your best friends. We are your comforts, and your oblivion. We are your way of dealing with your problems, and we work so well together!” They entice you to them, and you go, not because you are weak, or needy, or obsessive and soft, but because you are a warrior who must cut through the tangled web of conflict with self in order to grow.

Your first new sword must be a new view, and that is what I seek to offer you today. Do not look upon your struggles in the same way now, but visualize them as but energetic guidance that seeks to point out to you your most vulnerable aspects of self. Once you know, for sure, that these aspects of self are real, and very necessary to address, so can you learn to accept them. Of course you are vulnerable and afraid. Of course you wish to be more than those aspects of self that you keep so deeply buried inside, pushing them down as far as possible so that you can appear to be in control, confident, smart, and totally in command of your self, your life, your work, your relationships, and your inner and outer selves. But underneath do we know that you struggle greatly, and this is good!

Now, at these times of breakthrough, which you experience as break downs in your progress, so are you being asked to acknowledge not only that this vulnerable self is real, but also that the outer self has too much control. You have allowed your outer self to have too much power and your little inner self must come to the rescue, and drag you back into feelings of familiarity by presenting you with your old comforts.

So look upon your battlegrounds, upon the weapons you have chosen in the past, upon the armor you have chosen to wear, and upon the stances you have taken. Are any of those things truly you? Or are they just readily available and naturally easy to take on, simply because they are accessible and fit you so well? I think you are finding that they do not in fact fit you so well any more, and that is wonderful. Your own swords are prodding you to grow. They are sticking their points into your old body protections and saying to you, “Look we aren’t able to do the job any more.”

So, do you see what I am pointing out to you, My Dear Nancy, fighting warrior woman? You are fighting a losing battle if you continue to reach for the same old swords and the same old facades of presentation of self.

It is time to go to your vulnerable one and accept her. It is time to put down your fighting weapons and put your arms around your inner self and accept your vulnerabilities, which you seem to refer to as faults, but are in fact more real and truthful than the weapons you have chosen to break through life with. Now is it time to break inward, to slice through your armor, your self, from the outside in. Find the little girl who resides behind the masks and allow her to be seen, to be accepted, and to be invited out into the air.

You do not need your weapons and your armor, your facemasks, and your attitudes of the old warrior self. Now it is time to acknowledge that beautifully real inner self who suggests that your spirit potential lies in the truths spoken from within. It is time to be real.

When you now feel your self beginning to react in your old fashion, when you feel your outer self reach for an old idea, an old tactic, an old word, an old activity, or old comforts, go instead to your little girl self and say, “Yes, I know. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be angry, frustrated, lost, confused. And it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be lost for a while in those vulnerable feelings. But it is not okay to stay there.” Just as it is not okay for you to stay in your old places either.

Now must you restore your balance too. As you comfort your inner child self and acknowledge and accept her truths, so must your real adult self be the comforter, but also the listener, priestly and safe, godly and right knowing, objective, and utterly present at all times in order to grow. This balance of innocence and grace must now become your inner truth and your outer truth. For you are, in fact, an adult. You are, in fact, quite worldly, capable, intelligent, and worthy of living this life you have worked so hard to achieve. You must acknowledge and accept this outer self too. You must promote your qualities of good, of power, of strength, and of prosperity. But you must do so only in relationship to your inner truths and not some outer untruths that constantly present themselves to you in order to prod you along on your journey.

So you see My Dear One, your journey does not entail a simple answer, as you well know, to your question of getting caught. Your journey has led you, thus far, to your patterns of behavior in order to point out to you that it is time to reject them, to turn inward and acknowledge why you have had to repeatedly confront the same dilemmas, and to ask you to acknowledge that they have stood you well for so long, but that you are ready to acquiesce now, to your inner child self and your adult knowing self, in truthful balance.

That is where your struggle will now shift to as you take your next steps. You will now be confronted with keeping your child self truthfully speaking truths and your adult self also truthfully speaking truths. You will be confronted with the two of you learning how to have a better relationship as you soften and accept that you are a human being, but that you are also an energy being who can take steps of reconciliation, confrontation, and growth in a different manner now.

Find your security in this new balance of self. Your energetic self is ready to flow in the energy of life. Your inner self is asking you to accept the vulnerable truths of the self as accurate assessments of who you truly are, but they are also just new starting points to finding your inner/outer balance as you learn to truly love your self. Only then will you be able to heal, to love your place in the world, and to be able to acquiesce to what your journey has in store for you, as you continue to grow, evolve, and become whole.

Today, a Reader asks a relationship question about the mother figure.

Hi Jeanne,
In regards to relationships, I understand that all relationships are opportunities to understand one’s own self, to look inside of who we are and not project onto another the things we like or don’t like. As in your channeling message, “Relationships Can Be Tricky,” you were answering a question from a woman who was speaking of a man, what seemed to be a romantic relationship. What if the relationship is your mother? That the person you deem to be your supporter, encourager, nurturer, is the person who seems to be holding you back?

In my situation, my mother would give you the shirt off her back, but remind you of it later. She is very generous and loving, but also thinks much of her own self, her needs and wants. She is devout in her religious beliefs, but seems to live in hypocrisy of true faith because she has a need to control those around her. She is either the tyrant or the victim, and her communication with me is sprinkled with “shoulds” and “what I would do.” She yells when she doesn’t get her way, and I get scared. I usually give in, as do those around me, but recently I have stood in my adulthood, and that was met with insults and hurtful words.

My question is this: In my life, there are things that I want to do that go against her wants. I want to move away from home with my husband and baby, and that is very hurtful to her. I am clouded by disloyalty and guilt, as well as the idea of how this will affect my daughter, not having her extended family in her life growing up. It seems “mother” is such an important role on this earth plane. So how do I extract myself from the enmeshment of my relationship with her and do what I want in my life and not repeat it with my own daughter? How do I separate the idea of LOVE and doing what’s right for myself is OK?
-DMM

My Dearest Reader, your desires for completion are strong as you rail against this icon, this stalwart presence, whom all must one day depart from in order to truly grow. Your question revolves around your own growth, separation, and preparation to become a truly great mother in your own right. You question also your own existence in this question, for all do we come from mothers, but for what reason? And how can we reconcile the mother we have chosen in light of the journey we must each take as individuals upon our own process of completion?

So, I pose these questions on top of your own, hoping to aid you to not only take your next step toward independent living, but also to the completion of this lifetime as an evolving being connected to past lifetimes.

To begin with, your process upon that earth is not contained only in your present life, but is truly connected to the life you lived before. If you can accept that fact, so can you find within your present situation reason for why you “got” the mother you got. I say that word “got” lightly and with loaded significance at the same time. For in your choosing of this lifetime so did you “get” the mother you needed.

Your first step is to acknowledge that this mother is perfect for you, for she offers you access to your own potential by pointing out to you what you are most sensitive to. In her hurtful words lies some truth you must reckon with. In her own untruths does she point out to you your own truths as well. You notice her fallibilities, but can you own those as well? Can you allow that she holds truths in her barren words that do not nurture your soul? Can you acknowledge that she points out to you what you must learn? Can you understand that she is your earliest teacher?

She did at one time protect, nurture, and allow you to grow, for you have come a long way. You are now a mother who is confronted with a child you too must protect, nurture, and teach independence to. You have already taken back much of your own energy from this mother as you have begun to disagree, to see her more clearly as a struggling being, and as a daughter who knows she must hurt this woman who has stood by her through much of life. Yes, separation at birth is painful for the mother during that birthing process. And then again and again is there painful separation, reminding us that as mothers do we give birth many times in a lifetime.

This your own mother is confronting again and again, yet does she not wish to be reminded that she is always in process of female detachment. Her own process must be viewed differently from your own, but know that you too will one day have to birth your own daughter again. Life is not ever simple, straightforward, and easy, but full of many steps that lead to fulfillment of our destinies and completion of our lives.

But to return to your current situation, must you turn to your self now without casting aside your mother, by compassionately allowing her process to proceed alongside yours, as she once allowed you to grow alongside her. In compassionate growth is there recognition of nurturing guidance. Must you now teach your mother? I think you must. But you must do this as you would teach your own daughter, for I think this is who she once was, in your previous life.

Do not deny your trust in your own journey either, for now is a time of reconciliation of a mother who must learn to trust a daughter and a daughter who must learn to trust a mother. You see? This is a reciprocal process overlapping your lives, each in present confrontation and then also in reverse confrontation, simultaneously.

What kind of mother are you seeking to be? What lessons do you want your own mother to teach you? What truths do you want to hear? What truths will you accept, acknowledge, and acquiesce to? So are these questions also viable for your own mother to ask, and your own daughter who resides inside you and outside you.

For you have within you your inner child who looks to that mother for comfort, for direction, and for love. Yet must you part, and place distance between you, if you are to proceed and truly live your dreams. In my own life, as Jeanne Marie Ketchel, did I part from my mother at birth. I lived a life of unknowing of that birth mother, yet did I transpire and grow, nurtured by her at a distance far greater than truth, for it was nurturance by intent. And this is what true love is, energetic intent to trust that your love, your maternal love, can bridge all difficulties, trials, teachings, and even distance placed before you by happenstance, or on purpose by your own desire to grow and have your own life, separate from your mother’s needs.

Question your own needs now, even as you question your mother’s needs to remain in control. For her control is but her own shield against truths that do not awaken her spirit yet. Has you own spirit alerted you to your own truths? Are you accepting of them? Are you daring enough to acquiesce to them, and deal with all that may come your way as you adventure out into the world? Are you ready to face you disconnected self? For you will be placed in uncomfortable situations, even as you venture forth, even with your intent strong, your love tethered, and your inner self learning to trust your journey.

This is the next step you must reconcile with, your own journey. What is your own journey? Where is it leading you? What is this time of transition suggesting you do? What is it proposing that you have not quite gotten yet? For with transition and change is there always an underlying discovery about the self that must be encountered or ignored. It is your choice. Do you choose to encounter something about your self now as you encounter your mother’s anger and seemingly insensitive disregard for your own desires? What is she showing you about your self? As she subjects you to her hypocrisies, her questions, her proclamations, and her skeptical behaviors, what truth is she speaking?

Do not brush her aside as too troublesome. For even in her meanness does she present you with an underlying truth. Does your inner child know what it is? I think she does. But are you ready to allow her to process it and look now at YOU for mothering and nurturing?

Your time of transition now turns to you as mother. You have the opportunity to truly turn the mother in the mirror to your self now and not look back at the mother behind you. Look at your self in the mirror. YOU are a mother. Your role is as mother to your child, but also to your self. You are at a time of separation, rebirth, and the struggle that comes with nurturing your own inner child, even as you must nurture your baby who needs you so deeply.

Does your inner child accept this baby at your breast? Does your inner child respect you for your growth into adulthood? Does your inner child look to you for continued growth? Or does she wish to remain your baby, your inner baby? What is your concern regarding her growth away from your mother, for this you must truly encounter in order to keep growing and live your own life.

I realize that I have perhaps presented you with more questions than you asked me! This is a very complicated issue, which you address, and I will say this: I had great issue with this in my own life, as Jeanne Marie Ketchel, and it is not easily resolved. It can take many lifetimes. But I see in your awakening that you are truthfully seeking resolution, and that is good!

Do not fall into feelings of sadness for your mother as you seek to take your own journey, but send her your nurturing compassion, even though you may not feel it being reciprocally sent along with you on your journey, as you make your choice to grow. That may be your challenge, to send compassionate love, even when it is not sent to you.

Do not harbor anger, or the fears your mother harbors inside her. Show her, by your actions, that you can be a loving daughter/mother and mother/daughter even though you are far apart. By your example may you be guided to free your own daughter. Your inner child/daughter requests this of you.

Good Luck with your life choices, My Dear One. You are at a crossroads. You are at a point of truth. You are at a fork in the road. The signs are being spoken, but do you understand the language? Look to your inner child for the unscrambling of the truths of those words. She knows all the answers. And then look to your baby’s innocent face, and trust the journey you have before you as her mother.

Today, A Reader asks for guidance about a relationship.

Dear Jeanne,
I read your “wisdom messages” regularly, and thank you for your valuable guidance. Perhaps you will be able to respond to this situation for me? I’ve been in a long working relationship with a man, with whom the connection has also been “more,” but in the last couple of years it has mellowed into the form of task companions and friends. Recently, however, his attitude toward me has deteriorated into flagrant rudeness, arrogance, and even mean-spiritedness.

In any other situation, I’d be less conflicted about just getting out of this relationship, but I have a professional connection with this man that I feel I need to keep intact and amenable while I look for work. In a matter of weeks, an enduring, fairly close connection has become a source of hurt to me, and by all appearances, just an annoyance to him. He will not discuss this; his position is that if he’s not feeling “good energy” coming toward him from someone, he will not be bothered by them at all. I’m all for good energy, but to me, acknowledging what’s happening, clearing negative energy, and creating understanding is healing, and will help revive good energy!

This entire relationship, which I felt was kindred and lasting (even in its difficulties), is now hitting me like an ongoing sucker-punch, which I am literally feeling in my solar plexus. Still I keep hoping we can resuscitate what was good between us, at least enough to create a graceful (grace-filled) split! Dear Jeanne, do you have any insight into this particular situation that you might share? I swear, the energies are whipping my life enough without this knocking me over the edge!

Thank you, thank you…. oxo Anonymous.

My Dearest Reader, relationships can be very tricky, especially between strong men and strong women who each have equal abilities to love, desire, and compensate for the frailties of the other. It is not your responsibility to uphold any aspect of a partner that that partner cannot himself hold as his own. Keep that in mind as I answer your question. By this I mean that you do not need to protect or to treasure an aspect of this man you are so connected to. It is far better to ask him to own it, even as you own that aspect in your self. Is that clear?

I find it necessary, as regards relationships, to first state that all relationships begin as projective, idealistic flurries. Once the flurry dies down, so is it much clearer who stands before you. Your own relationship with this man may be at the clearing stage now. As it is with you, so is it with him, and this you must pay attention to. Regard not his disdain, but regard your own inner struggles to become an independent and strongly stable person in your own right. This is where you are caught, you know. The projection is now being revealed as just that, and you stand nakedly exposed and alone with the dust of the flurry you have been caught in for the past several years. Within a relationship flurry, within a whirlwind, is clarity not truly possible. It is only afterwards that truth can be exposed, posed, and proposed.

Your dilemma does not stand with this man, but within your self, though you look to him for support. This I can understand, but you must not hold out hopes that he will supply you with what you request. It may not be possible for him to turn back and observe your needs while he flees his own reflection in you. This happens in relationships, quite often, as truths are revealed.

Did I not, myself, once flee a relationship upon that earth when it got messy and tough, in order to find once again the fire ignited in another? To continually seek the spark of ignition is to remain always in the whirlwind, always in the beauty of the projective state. But that state does not last forever, as reality soon shakes you awake and says: “Hey, wait a minute! You must have balance, and stability, and honor the truth of your own being, even while you honor the truth of another.”

Find your self now upon your own two feet, not let down gently, but let down nonetheless. Find your center. Find your strong woman inside you that this man was once drawn to. You have not totally accepted that she exists, yet have you seen her on many occasions. She asks you now to release her from this man who abruptly pushes her from him. She stands before YOU and asks YOU to take her back. Do not give her back to any man, but only take her back to your self.

This is how projections end. They do not necessarily fade out, though that is also possible. But in your case, the screen went suddenly blank and you were left in the dark. Turn the lights on, My Dear. Look around your self. Where are you? Where do you honestly find your self? Alone? Well, that is truly the best place to be!

Now you are at a place of rebirth. Now you are being asked to fully accept who you are without attachment, without projection, without your soul having to be connected or controlled by that of another. This journey of the soul is yours alone to take. You are not bound to another or another’s soul, as you might predict. That is not how journeys through life are accomplished. Yes, we travel many times with others, with other energy beings, but ultimately must we sever ties in order to have our own experiences upon that earth, separate from those who we may eventually complete our lives with at another time, in another world.

I give the example of my own completion as Jeanne Marie Ketchel. My soul’s completion had nothing to do with the vital connection I maintain with the two who now continue my connection to you in this manner. My Dearest Chuck and My Sweet Jan and I have had previous connections upon that earth realm and will have connection in the future in infinity. But each of us must accept our own soul’s journey and the completion of our individual lives in spite of what we have learned about our connection to each other. Completion is centered on the individual, completing the individual soul’s journey.

This is what I present to you now. My advice is: Remove your attention and, subsequently, your energy from this man. Remove your focus, your thoughts, your yearnings for connection and completion from this man. Yes, even though you have, and have had, quite a strong and deeply fulfilling link to each other, so is it time to also turn your back and walk in a new direction, not out of spite, disappointment, anger, or disdain, but purely for energetic reasons.

Take back your energy and apply it to your own growth. You have deep wells of sadness, I see, but you do not even know of your deeps wells of strength yet. Remove your feet from dangling in the wells of sadness and the wells of the past and walk swiftly now to your inner wells of strength and beauty.

Your request for something from this man will not now be replied to. You will find, in spite of your insistence that you need connection in order to move on, that this will not be true in the long run. You may hold on to that idea, that you need him, if you must, but it will inhibit your progress. It will keep a thread of attachment through which your energy will drain out of you, weakening your ability to access your inner strength.

As I said, relationships can be very tricky. Know this, all of You Readers who dabble and tease in the projective field. It is far better to sit alone on a Saturday night, and discover who you truly are, than to sit with another who is not who they appear to be. The energy now upon that earth is tricky in this way. So if you are already playing love games in the projective field, watch out because you will find that this tricky energy will produce many projections at once and you will not be sure which is the real person. And you can get fooled, bitterly so.

This is a time of deception, of untruths, of cause for alarm because there are mirrors all over the place. Do not get caught in the dark movie house, or a hall of mirrors where you cannot find a real person in the darkness.

You will not succeed in finding what you want outside of you by looking into those movie screens or those funny mirrors. You will only find what you want by looking inward, facing your self, your truths, your reality, and then allowing your acceptance of self to birth new appreciation of your lovely qualities. Do not give them away, but keep them inside you. Nurture them and feed off them your self now, allowing them to become your new wells of strength.

I hope this aids you in your dilemma, My Dear Reader. Your question is one of confusion of self really, and not a question of another. Relationships provide us with the opportunity to discover who we truly are, and that is your real challenge now.

Turn your back now, withdraw your strength and your beauty from this man and give them back to your self. Then will you find your way. Your path will be clearer, your head and heart stronger, and your journey more defined by your own capable hands pulling aside the veils rather than someone else’s. Look at your hands and ask them to lead you where you need to go. They will find you what you need. Good Luck!

Today, a Reader asks for guidance.

Dear Jeanne,
I am experiencing many of the changes within and without that are occurring now. At times I can flow with them, and at times fear sets in and I lose my trust for myself, and in turn lose the ability to get to my heart center. I am grounded in knowing that even though my heart center may be messy with change right now, it is still a safe place to go.

This leads me to my question for guidance. I am here in this life to work on self-esteem issues and to break the barriers of my perfectionism. It served me well through the times in my life when things were out of control, but now it is calling for a restful place, and I am being resistant. Because perfectionism has been a dominant energy in my life, I need guidance on how to come to a more balanced state so I can honor its presence in my life and give it the rest it needs. How do I let myself make mistakes and get messy in order to let go and grow? As always, I thank you for the opportunity to ask questions and receive guidance…what a gift!

Love & Light…D.A.D.

My Dear One, in order to learn to let go and flow with your life, must you practice doing just that. When the opportunity arises, so must you notice your old habit creeping in and immediately strike it away from you and relax into a new positive position so that your ability to let go will have a physical passage.

I would suggest that you begin with your body, which is your mode of constraint and controls your every action, thought, and emotion. This is so for everyone. Your body holds everything. Your body is your home, and if you persist in keeping it pin neat (neat as a pin) then do you risk not accessing that which you keep neatly stored away in closets, drawers, and hidden in your attic.

This is why I suggest recapitulation as a means of accessing the physical self. If you concentrate your attention on what your body is trying to tell you, so do you shift your awareness from the outer controlling self, who has so successfully progressed in life in a certain fashion, to the new self desiring to emerge.

Your physical body is the place for you to begin allowing. This is where you must begin to let go and become restful. Your tightness is no longer working for you. Your inner spirit self is not happy being so constrained and constricted. Your inner self desires release, but how can that happen if you continue to torturously keep her down?

I admit that my words may appear a little harsh. I do indeed need to confront you on this, for I see a spirit who has had to take a back seat all these many years. Although your outer self has allowed spirit to explore, so has outer self controlled even that exploration. Now I hear your spirit self asking me, another spirit energy, to give you the message that your barricades must come down in order for that true spirit self to emerge. Your spirit self has not yet been allowed to speak, for you speak words for her. You do not even allow her words to be released unedited, and this is another area for you to practice letting go in.

What truths have you not allowed to be spoken? What words are you afraid to hear? What will you not allow your physical self to experience and have access to? Who do you really want to be, the control freak or the flowing, growing, soft and beautiful self who lies waiting to be discovered?

I challenge you, My Dear One, and all of you Readers, to enjoy the energy now available to you. This is a time of great transformation, energetically supported, but you must choose to engage it for growth purposes. You must make a conscious decision to now invite your self into the energy. Put your self into its flow by making the choice to allow it to take you where you need to go. In essence, this is a time and opportunity for acquiescence.

This must be done without controlling the outcome, but also not controlling the input either. By this I mean, you must simply state:

I am ready now.
I give up my control of my body to the energy of the universe.
I give up my control of my spirit to the energy of the universe.
I give up my control of direction, purpose, and intent.
I totally acquiesce to the flow of this powerful energy.
May it lead me where I need to go.

Now that is total acquiescence, My Dear! Can you do this act of release of self? Can you trust my guidance to further your self; to grow and evolve totally unburdened of ancient rules, demands, and ideas? This energy of now wishes for growth. That is its underlying intent and purpose, to push us all along (even those of us in energy form) to discover what is really possible. But your adventures will be short lived if you do not allow your self to have this grand opportunity to trust the energy like never before.

I hope I have satisfactorily answered your question. Oh, and by the way, you will achieve restfulness, balance, and amazing flow simply by acquiescing to the energy. If you allow your self to flow with it, then will it be so right that your inner self and your outer self will find their perfect balance because your controlling self will no longer be tipping the scales.

I thoroughly enjoy watching the progress of all my beautiful Readers. Keep daring yourselves to take the initiative on behalf of your spirits. Dare to live the spirit life by opening up to the energy that will take you, guide you, and lead you perfectly.

Acquiesce to the truth that awaits. As truth is revealed, will you begin to understand your life. Your future, your past, and your present will all make sense. In utter truth and honesty must you be ready to allow this process of growth to unfold. Acquiesce to your truths. That is where you must begin now, My Dear One. Reveal those to your self, and then allow the energy to guide you on your real journey, not yet begun!