Category Archives: Questions for Jeanne

#445 Your Path is Rich

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Today, a Reader asks a question about spiritual awakenings and finding true path.

Dear Jeanne,
I once had a conversation with the divine, God, perhaps angels, I don’t really know or don’t remember, but it has stayed with me for many years. I was a child, maybe a teenager, when I had this dream. This energy was telling me how nothing was an accident. The dream showed me the expanse of the universe and how guided we all are. It was spoken that, after each birth, the baby is programmed to forget because if she remembered then the work would not get done. I recall accepting my duties, my “contract,” with great excitement and I recall being excited to get down there (to earth) and get it done so I could come back “home.” I had no hesitation, no second thoughts, just a pure joy to be able to serve. I also remember, at the time this was revealed to me, how important it was that I remember, and I wondered why I was allowed to remember, seeing as we are “programmed” to forget. For many years I would forget and then re-remember this dream, and in my mind it is very clear, very real, and it is the thread that has kept pulling me back onto my journey. I have never revealed this to anyone, maybe because I did not want to be met with doubt, and it is certainly easier to write this experience rather than try to articulate it. I am certain now, after recent events and synchronicities, that this was a real experience, that I was meant to remember it in this lifetime. After reading some of the book, “Sacred Contracts” by Carolyn Myss, I realize that this was my glimpse into enlightenment, my spiritual awakening. It is the single moment that I draw upon and keep remembering. I know it is significant and, yet, I need or want validation. I also would like to know when, or how, I can open myself up for another one. Is it possible that an experience like this can happen more then once in a lifetime? Also, there are many things that I want to “do,” but how do I know what my true path is? This has been a struggle and a question for me for so long, and so I am just flowing right now, accepting my duties as being a stay-at-home mom, and loving it, but I know there is more, writing a book, opening a business, becoming a fitness model… you get the picture. How do you know what your true path is? And it seems to me that not all paths “look” spiritual.

Thank you for your love and insights.

My Dearest Reader, your experience, as described, is indeed an opportunity for spiritual awakening. Many such opportunities may be offered in a lifetime, until your progress is assured and your mission accepted. Though many disregard such information, your own spirit latched onto never forgetting, which is vital awareness training. Such an experience has marked your path.

Do you not see that your true path is the path you are now on? As you search for meaning and experience life as a young mother, so are you being shown all that you now need in order to progress on a path of spirit. Your early dream experience did indeed alert you to many truths that remain buried in the physical body, and in the psyche, until unleashed by circumstances or profoundly moving experiences.

Until the experience is accepted, and acquiesced to, there may be many such awakenings, but even the most clearly defined explanation for life and purpose are often dismissed as mere dreams, rather than deep insights. From your description of your self, I gather that you are not one to dismiss such dreams as mere trivia, but that you are indeed quite awakened, and were so at a young age. Perhaps you have had many other such awakenings in your life, though your awareness was not as attuned as during this episode that you describe? Perhaps you did not need another awakening jolt after that grand one you received? Or perhaps you have not truly wanted another yet?

There are many reasons why spiritual awakenings are presented, many forms in which they are presented, and for what purposes, based on where you are now in your life. Your latest awakening was in your birth-giving process. For if you ponder your experience, from other than that of manual/physical labor (ha! ha!), so will you understand it in the context of a spiritual experience.

I can only say that, yes, many awakenings are offered, but not always of the sort that you have described until you are ready to receive them. You see? In your innocence were you allowed access to such knowledge, for in your innocence could you capture it and keep it safe. The information you received was not only granted to you, but your child self was available to receive it and also to capture it for a lifetime. In so doing were you offered an entry into spiritual pondering of life as much greater than that which is right before the eyes.

That is what you must remain aware of now as well. Experiences of awakening, and of other worlds, are offered in many ways throughout your lifetime, yet is your place in life an important factor in whether or not you are available to receive them. I gather that your attention now is quite focused on your motherhood, your child, your marriage, and your self growth. But if you are honest with your self, you know that you must remain in the world of mother now more fully. Perhaps you are feeling that as your child grows, becoming more active, more demanding, and needing more of your time, that you will lose connection to your spirit self? Perhaps you fear a darkness ahead, as you find your self further embedded in the process of marital discord or harmony, as life progresses as it should? Do you wish for more time for the self, while knowing that your duties as mother and wife are of ultimate importance right now?

I do not mean to imply that you are confused, but I do point out that you are exactly where you should be. For it is the process of learning to become the maternal figure that your life, obviously, has laid out for you as the path to now be on.

In order to fulfill your true path, so must you embrace your budding self, while at the same time embracing your burdening self. Your maturing self is fully capable of taking on the tasks and challenges of motherhood, for they are quite adequate for learning everything you will need to know about the secrets of life that you yearn so greatly for knowledge of. Your path is rich. Your life, though at times tiresome and even unclear as to its future, is fertile and offering quite a plethora of gifts, spiritual, material, and even energetically inclined awakenings.

Look upon your child as your guide, even as you look upon her as your responsibility. Do not hide your spirit self from her, for it is your duty, as a spiritual being, to allow her innocent child self to trust her own experiences as they are presented to her. She is also the mirror of your own innocence. As you watch her discovering the world, remind your self of your own initiations into life, observing how she experiences it in the company of you, who also are her mirror. Your job as mother is a fully spiritual experience, My Dear One, though it is also steeped in the necessities of your every day life.

I bid you turn your head more often to the knowledge your child holds and may reveal to you as she grows, speaks, and articulates her experiences of life, trusting you and your permission to discover that all experiences are valid, necessary, and spiritually based. Your child and you share a path now, teacher and student both, as you reciprocally teach and learn what life is about and what it has in store for you both.

Your future holds many gifts, as does your present. Your awakenings are available, more real than you may notice. It is how you elect to interpret the events in your life that matters. That is how you will discover your next step along your path and the direction to take. You see? How you interpret your life’s unfolding is key to how you will proceed, making choices and understanding the meaning of all that you are provided with, each day, the little things and the big things.

Your gifts are many, your life abundant with signs, synchronicities, guidance, and purpose. Your attempts to remember your vision will always remind you of your innocence, but do not forget that you still have your innocence available to you. Allow your child self to reawaken alongside your own child, even as you remain her mother. Your innocence awakened, and your trust in it, will allow for new interpretations of your experiences in life, enlightening you once again.

Allow your innocence to guide you. Watch your young child for clear-cut examples of how to do that. Accept your role now as guide to her, but also as receiver of guidance. Each day is a new awakening of your innocence, as you go now forward, hand in hand, learning once again what life is all about, accompanying innocence inside you and outside you.

I suggest that you do not ponder too far into your future as to what you want to be when you grow up, as your question regarding your true path in that life is concerned. Your true path is the one you walk now. Your awareness of now, of your tasks and challenges of now, will lead you to your future, as you remain impeccable in your trust of spirit and your role as maternal guide, while reconnecting with that child self, who was once so awakened to the truth of a spiritual journey.

Good Luck! Your path is clear. You see?

#425 Ancient Nanny Goat Inside and Outside

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Today, a Reader asks a question regarding the struggle between old inner voices and the emerging spirit self.

Dear Jeanne,
My question may seem trite, but it seems so necessary for me to find the answer to move on and get the things in my life that I want. How do I stop the negative messages in my head that tell me “I’m Not Good Enough?” They come in whispers and in screaming, passive aggressively and straightforwardly. I notice that my internal message is very negative about myself. It is always an underlying “you’re not good enough; it will never happen; you will never get it; it’s too hard; give up; what’s the use.” I have done a lot of work on myself, uncovered, healed, dug deep. I take care of myself. I understand that we are all spirit, and yet I am always undercutting myself, always feeling just shy of what I can accomplish and who I really am. It’s like I am scared to be the greatness I know I am meant to be. How do I start living my life the way I want? I feel I have this race against time and it’s running out or something. Sometimes, I wish to die, not in a suicidal way, but to feel the lightness of my being, and yet I know I am not really ready. I know there is still so much that needs to be accomplished on this plane. I want so many things for my life and they all feel out of reach, like dreams. How do I change my thinking, my mind?

Thank you for your loving support,

My Dearest One, your struggles to assert your self as a spirit driven and spirit lived being are universal, while at the same time they are deeply personal issues and truly meant for you. Your evolution depends upon your recognition of these aspects of self, which have remained buried under your negative thinking cap that has a very big mouth as well! I must say, I do not find your problems insurmountable, nor do I find your negative self expression any more frightening than the fear that holds you back from reaching your true spirit self, allowing it to become active, overriding the passive aggressive speak that comes over you like a shroud.

Your process now is one of learning to disown the negative, to detach from the voices that have spoken for far too long, guiding you along a path not truly your own, but deeply sculpted by conventions and a process of confrontation with your petty tyrants inside of you and outside of you. We all struggle at such a point in life; when it becomes clear that we are not living in truth; when we discover that who we truly are has hunched down inside of us, afraid to be seen, and afraid to express our beauty, our wisdom, and our ancient knowledge of connection and purpose.

It is very simple, too simple, to say to you: “Throw off the shroud!” This is not easy, but it can be done, if you are first made aware of your shroud. You spell out, quite concisely, how your shroud comes sneaking over you, draping and wrapping you in its dark negativity. This is the first and boldest step, My Dear, to actually acknowledge, feel, and anticipate this dark energy, to be aware that it waits for you at every turn, and every corner of your life.

Once you have awareness of it, so can you prepare your self to do battle against it. As you find your self rethinking your negatives (such as: I am not good enough), rather than repeating the old mantras of darkness, your new tactics will be to combat with your own questions. Forcefully ask: “Who says so? How do you know?” Then say: “You know nothing of who I am! You are nothing to me, except an old goat bleating away, an old nanny goat standing on your four skinny legs, repeating something that is not true about me!

Then, your next step is to answer your own questions about your self. You may have many more than even I could pose. Answer your questions about who you are, with the underlying truth based on that spirit self that you long to connect with. The more often you connect with that self, the more often you talk with that self, the more often you encourage that self to be present in your life, the more that old nanny goat begins to look like a stiff old cardboard cutout, with nothing of value to say or do. Then, it is simply a matter of pushing past it as it props itself before you. You can even kick it down, or walk right over it, if you feel so inclined because, in reality, it is nothing more than a big empty fear that once taught you, but now has no place in your life.

This process of confrontation may take a long time. It may involve recapitulating many events and people in your life. It may mean that you must transition from those in your life who do not feed you with good energy, but continue to spew negatives upon you, and continue to carry the shroud that does not belong to you. It means learning to detach your self from an old way of thinking, but also an old way of responding and acting in return. It means that you will be remaking your self, with a totally new template, designed by you, with your spirit self fully participating. It means that you will have to say goodbye to your old self too, perhaps gladly, and even perhaps with a modicum of sadness. For that old self has been your teacher for quite a long time. Even the old petty tyrants will be missed when they are gone. The new struggle will be when you yearn for their familiar techniques and habits, their comforts that have served you so well, for they will be very strong. They do not like to be replaced with your spirit self.

An old nanny goat is a tough character to go to battle against. Remain aware of all that you feel, your underlying truths, even as your emotions and your physical self wish to erupt or react as you go through this time of transition. You underlying feelings, based on that inner spirit self who wishes to rush ahead and burst forth, must become known to you, fully understood, and allowed to become present in your life. They must be a part of your recapitulation, as you ask your self who you truly are. You may already have an inkling, for as you say, you know you are not really ready to become pure energy. But you must give your self time to explore who that energy self is, in this lifetime, and nurture your true abilities, driven and lived as a person who is aware of this spirit self, allowing, trusting, and acquiescing to the unfolding journey.

So, your first lesson in disenfranchising your self from your old voices is to speak up and talk back. Maybe you were not allowed to talk back in your past? Maybe that is a no-no that the old nanny goat scolded you for doing? Well, give your adult self permission to talk back as much as you want. But remember, it is not your angry child self who is going to talk back, but your mature, calm, inner self.

You may have to do a lot of calming meditation, getting your self into impeccable shape, strong inner self strength, before you speak your truths. This will most likely be challenging as you encounter your nanny goat, your petty tyrants, inside and outside of you. But, if you stay connected to your awareness of your adult reactions compared to your big baby reactions, you will eventually be able to shift right to your adult self.

Do not become angry at your self during this process. Allow your self to encounter whatever you must encounter. There are no slip-ups or failures. There are only recognitions of the process. See how your own process unfolds. See how many old nanny goats really exist. There may be one, or there may be many. It doesn’t really matter. Remain focused on the fact that the process of transitioning to your calm adult self, and knowing spirit self is the same, no matter how many petty tyrants come to test you. Your calmness, your awareness, your new assertiveness, and your rightful place upon your rightful, truthful path are your underlying guideposts. Remember them as you take your first steps in a new direction.

As you utter your first words of changing self, don’t forget to feel your inner joy, your inner confidence rising, your inner warmth returning. You will recognize it, your ancient self, truly well known to you. Once you reacquaint your self with its strong voice, you will discover that it will begin to guide you more often, without your prompting it or struggling with the old voices. It’s all part of the process of transition.

Thank you for your question, My Dear One. I may, perhaps, have more to say upon the subject, but it is time to go now, and to release my scribe from her trance. Good Luck. Oh, and don’t forget, you are already that energy being you long to be.

#413 Can You Accept Your Self as Pure Energy?

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Today, a reader asks a question as a follow up to the previous message.

Dear Jeanne,
Your last message really resonated with me as I have experienced some great shifts in my personal life over the past couple of months. As a result, I have made some pretty big, life changing, decisions. As I have been making changes, I have been acutely aware that these are all but small steps, leading me towards something else, and although I do not yet know what that is, I have a sense that this has been in preparation for something so much greater. So, I’d like to ask if you could expand upon this further, especially in reference to the phrase, “… this is your first challenge beyond your own inner work, to utilize this awareness of interconnectedness in your daily lives…” Could you give some examples as to how we can use this in our daily lives and more specifically, how can I better utilize this awareness?

Thank you for your guidance and love.

My Dearest Reader, when I suggest that you use your awareness, so do I mean that you train it in all aspects of life, while doing your inner work, but also while navigating your life in the world. Furthermore, I request that you go beyond your self, that you go beyond your intense scrutiny of self, to become a part of the greater universe. Your ability to use awareness and intent should not be in question. For as I have stated, you are energy. If you can accept that hypothesis as fact, then you can do anything you intend. You see?

Intent is your fuel, but energy is your means of achieving your goal. Your inner work must be fueled by intent or you would not move beyond your comfort zone. As you state, you have been taking many steps toward change, but you have also dared your self to discover your own energy potential too. Your work on the self, though at times stubbornly confrontational, has also been your catalyst to discovering your energy potential. Have you not been discovering that your journey has been fueled by your intent to grow and evolve? Have you not gotten to where you are now by energetic means? Have you not been taking steps, your entire life, that have been of energetic proportions and energetic incredulity?

I do always request that you use your intent as you do your inner work, but I also request that you transcribe your inner process and apply it also to your outer life. The lessons learned in the inner process must be applied outside of you in order for completion of that life to take place. Your inner work must translate into an aware being who is not afraid to reveal this aspect of self. Your inner self has had so many experiences of awareness and intent to grow, but you will not notice them unless you begin to see them as such.

Your abilities to use your awareness are directly linked to your inner work, for without your inner work would you not be gaining in awareness. You would simply be stuck in your old patterns. So as I did mention, your first challenge is to use the awareness you are gaining about your own world, your inner world, and begin to apply it to your outer world. How do you do that? Well first of all, remain aware of the fact that you are an energetic being. This is at the core of who you are in that world and for all eternity. You are energy, whether you inhabit a body or not. As a body, in human form, your first challenge is to hold onto this fact, for it is a fact, though you may find this hard to fathom at first. But your potential lies in this fact, so begin to get used to it. In order to highly attune your awareness must you connect it to your energy self, your energy body.

Imagine being in an out of body state, perhaps in a flying dream. I’m sure you can recall such a dream experience. Now allow your self to accept that such energetic possibility exists at all times, not just in dreams. This is your first awareness of your energetic composition and potential. Is it not thrilling? If you can fly around in dreams, while your body lies sleeping upon your bed, do you not grasp the further possibilities that this energetic self is showing you? In dreaming, are you in fact being offered a glimpse, an awareness, of your energy body. With this acceptance of energy self, your awareness and your intent can be allowed to grow within a focused format, something that you have in fact experienced. Whether you can recall a dream or not, all of you have had out of body experiences in some format. Trust me on this.

If you can accept your energy self while doing your inner work, and in your dreaming, can you not extend that awareness to your physical self as well, in the “real” world you inhabit? Can you allow your awareness to have this potential granted to it? Now your next training comes in intending, but also in noticing your awareness abilities, or your psychic abilities as they are more commonly called.

You mentioned taking small steps leading you somewhere unknown, and that is a perfect example of what I am attempting to describe to you. For as you have been doing much work on the self, trusting your process, so have you allowed your self to take baby steps, even though you do not know, as a baby does not know, what comes next. You are beginning to allow your life to unfold, as it desires, without your resistance and control.

I suggest that you continue to remain open to what life offers. That you do not think so much about how to do anything, but that you allow your energetic self to lead you to understanding just what it means to be aware of the interconnectedness in your daily life. You are being offered examples of it all the time. Are you not? As you grow, and when you are ready, so will your energetic self show you the way to using your intent for more expansive purposes. You may find that your process leads you in a direction that I could not possibly propose to you at this point, for you may not be prepared at this time for what lies before you, but you may not also be accepting of it, until you have fully accepted your own energy self.

Awareness of your self as pure energy, as you do your recapitulation, will grow. As you work through your shadows, as you swipe aside the veils that hide your truths, so will you begin to have further experiences of your self as not only energy of good, but you will find that your intent to utilize your newfound energy self will activate, and your participation in the universal principles of interconnectedness will expand, because you will be ready for such participation.

So, I answer your question by offering you this question: Can you accept your self as pure energy? That is all you need to be aware of. Cultivate that potential in your daily life. Acceptance of this fact of self will solve many problems, issues, and dilemmas; mental, physical, and spiritual; allowing you access to your psychic self, your fully aware self.

Keep taking your baby steps, but allow awareness of the energy self to be present each step of the way. As you allow this energy self to be present, so will you discover that you do in fact know where it is all leading you. You will be fully able to accept the journey before you because you will recognize it as the right one, finally.

Trust your journey. It is meant for you. Can you accept that? Every step of it? That will be your next awareness!

#397 Your Inner Child Asks for a Platform

Today, a Reader asks Jeanne a question about recapitulation.

Dear Jeanne,
I was wondering if you would continue clarifying the recapitulation process. I recently watched the film, “The Ripple Effect,” which was recommended by Jan and Chuck, and found that it very much reminded me of my own feelings of being stuck in certain areas of my life, which I can clearly connect to a situation that I have repeatedly faced, involving a relationship over several years. Each time that I have been drawn back to this relationship I have been able to recognize and acknowledge insights into childhood events and past family and other relationships, which I feel have shed a great deal of light for my self understanding. Since learning about recapitulation, I identify this as a recapitulation process. Each time I have a new insight, I think that perhaps this new understanding will assist me in learning balance around this situation and losing the emotional charge that is attached to it, and thus “free me” to be become “unstuck”. I always tell myself that my response will be different when, inevitably, the situation resurfaces months or even years later. However, so far, in reviewing how the pattern has played out over the years, each time is not that different, although my insights seem deeper. Could you please help me understand “resistance” at being drawn into a situation that I intellectually understand as destructive vs. “acquiescence” to my journey? I must say that often your messages describing the general weather of upcoming recapitulation energy frequently coincides with the re-emergence of the situation.

Thank you so much for your very helpful guidance.

My Dearest Reader, the condition you describe is circumstantially present in many different situations, not only relationships, but in addictions, habits, behaviors, and overall in areas of stuckness. Often are these circumstances deeply rooted in the body, the physical body, but also the mental body, rather than in the spirit self.

How often do you need to play out certain habits of behavior and patterns of being stuck? How many times do you need to abuse your sensitive self? How many times must you confront your issues before you relinquish them? All of these wonderings may be quite individual as well as universal. The answers may pertain to your own circumstances and your own process, but I can tell you this: that you must not be done with some aspects of recapitulation and/or you may not have fully woken up to the truths of the self if you are repeatedly confronted and drawn in to a situation.

Why DO you continue to find your self sleepwalking the same path? Why DO you meet the same faces over and over again? Are you indeed acquiescing to your journey as you walk in circles? Or have you gotten into a rut, the walls of which just climb higher and higher as you trudge along in waking sleep?

Have you indeed no resistance to this situation that you describe? Perhaps there remain instances of past self that still must be recapitulated as you confront this prospect over and over again. I find that often when one is stuck, so is there something being shown repeatedly, yet are you not quite getting it, noticing it, or ready to accept it.

I suggest that you take a look at the bare truths that are revealed to you in this relationship that you speak of. Your intellectual prowess is fully attuned and capable of processing what you have learned thus far. Then I suggest that you determine what draws you back. Find what in the relationship repeatedly draws you back, and then turn those determinants upon the self. Where are you, My Dear Reader, missing these aspects of self? Where do they hide in you? Why do you not allow them to become apparent, revealed, and accepted in the self?

Your recapitulation process is not simply done once and then forgotten. As you see in this situation, are you offered the opportunity to recapitulate over and over again, throughout your life, and often with the same issue, as you describe here. This may be your ultimate issue in this lifetime, My Dear Reader, to understand and work out the considerable aspects of relationship, not only in your love life, but also in your evolutionary life. For you hold within you old hopes, perhaps for many lives, that are not conducive to evolving in a changing world.

Your question is more a question about acceptance of truths being revealed and truths awakening within. Why do you really continue to be drawn to this relationship? Why do you lose your grasp on reality as you get drawn in? What happens to your centered, balanced self as you confront this prospect of relationship?

Look at your child self. Who is that child yearning for as this person appears before you? That is where your answer may lie. For until the child self is totally reconciled with and accepted as perfectly capable of taking the journey with you, so must you revisit and reacquaint your self with the buried needs of that child. You must visit the child self quite often during recapitulation. That is where you must go with your magnetic attraction at the prospect of renewed connection within this relationship that does not fulfill you, as has been shown, but simply confuses you.

Turn the mirror upon the self, but also turn the magnet to your self as well. Allow its strong pull to tug out of you your deepest issues, your deepest wounds, and your deepest desires that wish to cling to this relationship. You do want so much more in life than to simply repeat what has already been done, that I can see. But you must, My Dear, determine why you carry still remnants and filaments of connection to a relationship that does not reflect true maturity of relationship, but only your inner child’s deepest desire for growth and expression. Your inner child asks for a platform of acknowledgment and expression during each recapitulation cycle.

You have already acquiesced to your journey. You do the work of the self quite nicely. But you must not be afraid to wake up the child self and allow truths to be spoken. These truths may hurt, but they will not harm you. These truths may surprise you, but they will not overwhelm you. These truths may alert you to aspects of the self that you find intolerable, shameful, or even despicable, but they will not destroy your love of self. For underneath all the veils, the covers, the remnants and filaments of experiences, of memories, and of destructive habits and behaviors lies your purity, your innocence, and your own abilities to not only forgive, but to accept your life process as totally right and necessary for you, and for you to evolve.

Turn always your mirror on the self, My Dear One, until there is nothing left to see in it. Then will you understand fully the process of recapitulation, forgiveness, acquiescence to your journey. But you will also understand the depths of the self and what you are capable of, including true love of the self, in all aspects.

Perhaps this answer may aid you as you journey on. Perhaps you may still wonder why, why, why. But I guarantee that if you continually turn the mirror to the self you will discover the meaning for every experience in your life. And it will be a day of glorious understanding of self when you do. It will not be an intellectual understanding, but a full body, full spirit understanding, and that is what you now must seek. Turn inward to your body, to your inner child self. There lie all truths, all reasons, all experiences. There lies your recapitulation, your acquiescence to the evolutionary journey, waiting to be spoken, revealed, accepted, and let free, so that you may carry on in this life with a new outlook, with eyes on the future, rather than the past, with open heart, eager for the new light to come, as each new person who enters your life reveals a new truth to you.

Look forward to recapitulation as a process of growth into light, rather than as a place of darkness. Accept it as awe-inspiring, as a new direction, rather than turning back in an old direction. Turn to the light now, even as you find your self drawn back. The energy is really asking you to go innerly with a new flashlight, rather than the old dark ideas of the self. Turn your self inside out, if you have to. That may be the way to reveal what you carry inside you. Shine that new light into every crevice and pocket for the final answers in those old hiding places, those old relationships, and those old pockets of self. Good Luck!

#395 Have a Powwow with Your Self

Today, a Reader asks Jeanne a question about parts work.

Dear Jeanne,
The deeper I dig into my inner self, the more I have encountered parts of myself that I did not know existed. I have become an observer, watching these interactions, but right now they are all separate parts, all acting individually, with different likes and dislikes, needs and wants, etc., and “they” do not agree on anything! I have begun to feel like a stranger in my own body, and trying to referee all these different “people” is exhausting! I know this sounds absurd…I know that I need to join all these parts together to become whole, but I am struggling with this immensely. Please help.
Thank you for your continued love and guidance, DAC

My Dearest Reader, your condition is not unusual, for all do struggle with different aspects of self. It is what I speak of so often when I address the inner self and the outer self. Within each of those selves exist further selves, and this is what you are experiencing as you learn how to integrate them and become whole. Is this not the greatest challenge that all must face upon that earth? For this is truly the purpose of life, learning who you are and why you exist.

To begin with, I must first suggest that you, and all My Readers who seek wholeness, truly accept and fully know each of these separate parts. Who are they? What do they want? What do they need and desire of you, their leader? You are the main character here, and that you must never forget. When I say you, I mean the adult you, the mature adult person who wrote this question, seeking guidance of me. You are the leader in this equation of juggling life’s puzzle pieces.

How many pieces of self are there, and why are they all vying for attention? This you must also determine. You must not entertain them too much, or overdo any aspect they ask of you, for if you do, so will you lose control, balance, and awareness of your place in the world. Find always your adult self, the one who knows that you are on this journey of awareness for purposes of evolutionary growth.

Know, each day, the place you inhabit, including your body. Find it, feel it, accept it as your abode for as long as you exist upon that earth. Care about it greatly. This is a most important aspect of life that many who struggle with so many parts forget. They forget that they exist in a physical body, for they do not often feel it, so busy are they jumping and running between inner worlds and attempting to be in the outer world too. It can get very confusing and messy, as you say!

So to become aware of your physical body self, this most important and vital part of the journey (for you cannot make the journey without it) is another challenge that must become a priority. How do you do this? How do you get into your body, and stay in it, while all those parts are asking for attention? I would suggest a moment be taken each day, at awakening from sleep, before you even arise from bed, to say the following, a good mantra for everyone to say to begin a new day. Here it is:

I lie upon my self.
I slumber upon my self.
I lift this arm, this leg of self.
I attend to my breath of self.
I smell the air of self.
I feel the skin of self.
I knead the heart of self with gentle breath of self.
I lift my breath of self, inflating my presence in this body,
offering my self awareness of body self.
I exist in time and space of body self.
I am body self; I am inner self.
I am alive in inner body and outer body.
I am alive in breath of life.
I awaken now in body of self.

Allow your body to slowly awaken as you breathe into it with words of gentle stretching breath, allowing life breath to flow from head to toe, so that you are aware of your physical self. Then when you emerge from bed, feel your feet firmly planted and grounded upon the floor. Place intent upon the actions of your body. As you emerge say:

I feel my feet upon the ground.
I feel my breath in my heart center.
I feel my limbs begin to move.
I exist in this body now and all day.
I exist in each breath.
I move with each breath.
I am in this body at this moment and every moment.

Once you find your body self, then is it but a repetition of these practices each day that will bring you to a place of acceptance of this physical self. This self (though often felt as a mere shell) is most necessary, and should, as I have said, be treated with the utmost care and attention. Give it these things more often; give care and attention now, with awareness, as you plant your intent upon this “body knowing” to aid you as you seek integration.

The other parts of self who vie for attention are also important, but they must never overtake your body awareness, for then do they drive your car, and that may be disastrous, for they have not matured enough to pass the driver’s test! Ask your self, daily, to be in your physical body. Eventually, this will become easier. I know that many of you are so distant from that aspect of self that you protest even at the idea that you will one day be quite happy and satisfied with your body, but it is true!

Maintain awareness of all your parts. I suggest writing down what they say to you, and even to each other. I suggest that you take the time to find out who they are. Have a powwow with your self, a sit down get-together with no holds barred, no topic forbidden, and let loose, each part given equal time. Ask for names, ages, and occupations of each part, and allow each to speak. You may discover that you have more parts than you thought. And those of you who did not consider your self a person of parts may be quite surprised to discover that you do indeed have many voices wishing to speak. Ask your self: Who in me wants to speak first? And then see what happens as you begin to take this most beneficial journey into the inner self.

As you close your session, remind everyone that they must recede into the confines of your body and your psyche, for the time being, and that you will return to conduct another conference. But in the meantime, ask that they allow you to do your outer work and your outer life in peace.

Now then, we get to the topic of Recapitulation, for it is a big process that does not often remain quiet, in subtle dormancy, as you might ask. In this process of recapitulation, will you be triggered by what is outside of you, awakening and alerting those parts to the fact that they must speak out, that they cannot wait until the next meeting. And this you must pay attention to, for then are you being asked to listen, most carefully, to what is being spoken and felt. During such times, when you are triggered, you must not leave your body. You must remain present. Your awakening breath of self may be a good centering activity in order to remain present, even if only partially. As you go off to the land of recapitulation, you must keep one foot in present time, for this is where you will land when you are done finding out what you must learn about the self.

All of this parts work must be undertaken with a clear understanding of why you are being asked to pay attention to these parts of self. Do you wish to push them away? Do you prefer that they shut up and go back into their little closets of fear and illusion? Well, that is not healthy for the inner you or the outer you, and I think you know this is very true, My Dear Reader.

Your parts are all just little aspects of self, of you, the real you wanting to become known and able to fully disclose the truths carried all these years. Your parts are your truths, My Dear, and nothing to be afraid of, for in the long run will you regard them with love, as your unblocked, integrated self.

This is what you are seeking and learning, you know. You are learning to love your self. That is all that those many parts need and want from you. They want the aware, adult, mature self to love them all. This is what will bring you integration and wholeness, the total love of self, inner and outer. Love and appreciation of all parts of self, integrated in your body self, that is your goal.

I hope I have given you a few new ideas as you take your journey a little bit further each day. As I said:

1. You must stay in your body.
2. You must allow each part to speak its truths.
3. You must allow your breath of life to fill your body self with awareness of these truths.
4. You must learn to love and appreciate each of these selves and the truths they bear, so that you will achieve total love of self.

Not an easy task, but you are doing well, for you have awareness of these parts of self and that is where you must now turn your attention. They are present, so they must be ready to join you in a powwow. Allow your self to sit down with them, your heart open to hearing true words now, during this time of transformation. We are all about to enter a new phase, and you, My Dear, are being invited to quite a conference, a life revealing, life changing, life integrating event.

Welcome to the next leg of your journey. It will be thrilling, if you elect to view it that way. Or it will be scary, if you elect to view it that way. Either way, you are, in no uncertain terms, being invited to a sit down dinner with some very interesting and intriguing people. And they all have something very important to tell you. So spiff your self up; get your body ready to go on a new trip, to your grand meeting of self. Good Luck!