Messages from Jeanne

#749 Practice Remembering

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Written by Jan Ketchel and including a channeled message from Jeanne Ketchel.

After a couple of weeks of muddled energy when tempers flared and there seemed to be little clarity in spoken words, no matter how concise, I feel a new sense of energy, vital, clearly present and alive. I feel that I am often strongly connected to what is happening in the cosmos, feeling it energetically, though I find it hard to keep track of what planet is in what alignment with what. Just feeling it is enough to realize that a time of shift is necessary, whether I like it or not, and I know I must accept the push to attend to personal issues. This has been the case lately.

Now I feel a shift away from the volatile and into the simmering and, as we begin a new week, I ask Jeanne to give us a message of guidance as we enter this new phase, in the cosmos as well as in our everyday lives on this earth. My awareness warns me not to settle back into an old rut, not to become complacent or lazy now that the intensity has waned, but to remain alert to the truths learned, moving forward with them. I believe we are still in a time of meaningful transition and will be for the rest of our lives. Can you comment, Jeanne?

My Dear Ones: Indeed, it is not at all time to settle back, either into old ways or into rest, but to continue pointing in that new direction that has been revealed to you.

During a time of revelation, as has been the situation among you, it is equally important to carry through once the blazing light of clarity and truth has dimmed or been withdrawn. When darkness descends at the end of the day, that which was revealed in the light of day remains. Keep this in mind as you forge ahead in your lives.

Truths once revealed remain clearly true. Do not lose sight of them, but keep them close to your hearts. Carry what you have learned forward now, whether it be a personal issue, a universal issue, a political issue, a deeply necessary issue of self truth, or even an enlightening process of spiritual worth, not necessarily everyday stuff nor meant for others to share. Whatever your revelation has been, the next step in the process is to keep it uppermost in your attention, allowing it to remain apparent in your awareness. For you all need the light of revelation to guide you as you go into the darkness.

The darkness always returns, but after each time of revelation it is not as dark as it was previously.

Today, I suggest that a practice of remembering be instituted. Call to mind what you have lately learned about the world, about the self, keeping the bitter truths alongside the beautiful truths, and do not forget what has been revealed to you.

Your process throughout your life is to remember. There is much to be recalled, the ancient and unknown not the least of it by far. But even each ordinary day, news is delivered to your awareness and your process is to not only notice it and learn from it, but to assimilate what you become aware of so you can evolve, never forgetting it.

I turn now to a final note: Your main purpose in life is to remember why you are there, and to figure out what direction to go in. You are both looking backward and forward simultaneously, your soul intent on learning and exploring to the fullest. Why you are there, understanding your reason to the fullest requires constant contact with the outer world, for it presents you with your evolutionary potential. In other words, there is much life ahead of you in the world you live in.

Learn from where you have already been, accepting the truths of the self, in order to face and truly explore your future. The doors are always wide open, in both directions, whether it is time to turn inward to explore or outward to explore. It is up to you to accept the terms of your personal adventure. I say, go for it. There is nothing to lose and only joy and truth to gain.

Living fully takes a certain amount of detachment, but that is another subject. For now, accept who you are, where you are, and find out why you are there at this moment, but don’t ever stop changing and growing. That is the challenge all must face. No matter what the energy outside of you is proposing, seek always to remember:

I am an evolving energy being and I elect to fully live!

Thank you Jeanne! Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below. Also check out our facebook page at: Riverwalker Press on facebook. And thank you for passing the messages on!

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Lifting the Veil of Self-Blame

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What masquerades and torments as self-blame is often, underneath it all, the placeholder for painful truths we are not ready to assimilate. How does this work?

Trauma comes in many forms, but what makes all trauma, trauma, is the encounter with an experience we are unable to assimilate. By assimilate, I mean, able to take in—physically, cognitively, emotionally—the full breadth and truth of an experience regardless of how disruptive, intrusive, or devastating it might be.

When we are unable to assimilate part or whole of an experience we must store it within ourselves, in some form, until the day we are ready to fully assimilate, or recapitulate, the experience.

The storing of traumatic experience creates a fragmentation within the self because one part of the self can no longer communicate with, or know about, another part of the self. However, some form of inter-self communication can occur in a traumatized self, if the traumatized part wears a disguise that doesn’t reveal the truth hidden within, the real trauma.

Self-blame is often a disguised trauma. How does that work?

Self-blame implies “criminal” activity. This criminal part of the self is seen and felt as bad, abusive, unworthy, lazy, unlovable, or inadequate. On some level we hold onto self-hate and loathing, and blame ourselves for all the misery in our lives.

We then get caught in a cycle of old guilt and compensatory intentions and efforts to improve the self, to reform the criminal. Inevitably we fail, and around and around we go on this vicious wheel of suffering and redemption as our inner criminal resurfaces over and over again.

But, what if this blamed self is actually hidden trauma? After all, isn’t a trauma itself actually a “criminal” who invades our stable lives? Isn’t the trauma actually bad and abusive? Isn’t there an aggressive intensity inherent in trauma equivalent to the punitive energy of self-blame? Perhaps self-blame is the perfect placeholder for trauma and the unrecapitulated self.

In order to discover the true culprit behind the mask of self-blame, we must avail ourselves of Carlos Castaneda’s number one intent: Suspend judgment! Suspending judgment, in the context of lifting the veil of self-blame, means assuming a perspective of detached objectivity. We are looking to both understand the energetic function of self-blame in our lives, as well as discover the true nature of the experiences we have carried under the guise of self-blame.

As I pondered the energetic influences this past week, I consulted The I Ching. I received the answer of The Marrying Maiden, hexagram #54. This hexagram selects the role of the concubine to illustrate being selected to play a part, not for personal reasons, but because of the impersonal needs of others. How do we navigate being acted upon, as in the role of the concubine, simply because we are there and can fill a need of others, however inappropriate? If this is the objective truth of it, however distasteful and unacceptable that situation may be or feel, the truth is: it is impersonal.

Accepting the reality of the impersonal in our lives is a daunting challenge. To hold onto the truth of the impersonal and not change it back into the personal and self-blame, as a means of holding onto some degree of control, is what suspending judgment is all about.

Perhaps for decades we’ve needed to disguise the truth of abuse in self-hate. Can we now allow ourselves to know the real facts of that abuse? Can we now allow ourselves to encounter the truth of the impersonal forces that acted upon us, totally for their own needs? Can we face that we had no control and did not matter, in any sense?

In another example of impersonal experience: Can we take in that we were not loved, but that it was completely not personal—it was simply not our fault? Can we let go of our illusions of those we loved, and needed to preserve as loving people, in order to feel safe and cared for? Are we ready to take down the defenses that protect our wounded selves and release our true innocence, or do we need to hold onto the shield of badness and self-blame? Can we accept our lovableness, though others could not? Or, again, must we continue to protect ourselves with a cloak of unworthiness and self-blame?

Are we ready to release ourselves from the illusions of badness we repeatedly uphold through compulsive, self-destructive behavior patterns that falsely substantiate our sense of unworthiness? This is how that criminal wheel of suffering and redemption keeps spinning. Perhaps, for instance, we hold onto laziness as an ancient means of protecting parents who didn’t love us. In this example, we carry our laziness as a way to blame ourselves for our parents rejecting behavior. In other words, we deserve rejection because we are lazy. This keeps us from being confronted with the impersonal reality that they may just have been incapable of loving, and it was not our fault. Are we ready to face this truth, allow ourselves to break the criminal hold of self-destructive behavior and release the parents we’ve held onto for some kind of security? Can we release ourselves from this ancient flawed perspective and accept our lovability? Are we ready to be the adult self that suspends judgment and frees our innocence, seeing clearly, and releasing all who crushed our hopefulness and joy?

Are we ready to not flip self-blame into blame? If we attach to blaming others we remain bound to a new criminal. This is not about having to forgive. This is about being an adult and an innocent self, ready to open to life with a new found wholeness. With the truth revealed, the self is no longer bound by old ideas and fragmentations. The criminals, once needed to house unrecapitulated events, can be released.

Are we ready to come out of the shell of the blamed self and allow fresh air to touch our innocence? Lifting the veil of self-blame takes great courage and may take a lifetime, but it promises fulfillment in this life and opens the door to new worlds of possibility.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: On the Wings of the Crow

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I dreamed all night, chasing after a fearful Spunky the dog, as she fled from room to room, terrified, unable to settle down. I agonized over her process, as I followed after, wanting her to have calm contentment, to be given respect and quiet, but there was too much stress around her and in my dream she just could not settle down. Then, I heard a voice say: Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember. Now, as I dreamed through the rest of the night, still following our dog from room to room, this voiceover continued to speak the same sentence until I woke in the morning with it still ringing in my ears.

The next day was the day we had arranged for the vet to come to the house to euthanize Spunky. She was in her eighteenth year and by the beginning of the week we saw the clear signs that her end was near. She became increasingly incontinent and could not get up by herself. Once up it was agonizing to watch her try to lie back down as she circled and circled and then slowly plunked to the floor with a deep groan. We saw her fear of falling on the ice and snow escalate as she refused to go outside, standing at the door and then turning away. We dealt with the soiling and daily cleaning of her bedding, giving what little we could to this most noble soul in her final days. And finally, as she slept in deep comalike states for most of the day, we acquiesced to the truth of her journey’s end here on earth. It was not fair to keep her in this world any longer. She was in pain, and her quality of life was greatly compromised. We noticed that her nose was still in good form though; sniffing out tempting odors from the kitchen still her greatest pleasure.

In contrast to my busy night of dream worry, the day dawned quiet and calm. Spunky, fully aware of the significance of the day, as she had been all week it seemed, continued to let us know, by her deteriorating condition, that we were making the right decision for her. We were determined that her last day with us, and her passing, be as stress-free as possible under the circumstances, and this became the central intent of the day.

The information I had received in my dream the night before stayed with me from the moment I woke up. I knew it was significant, though I had yet to fully grasp its meaning. Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember. I told Chuck about my night of dreams with Spunky, about my worry that she would be frightened and anxious. We had already decided which room we wanted her last moments to be lived in, but after my dreams I decided that we should prepare appropriate bedding throughout the house and let her choose where she wished to recline. With that in mind we spent the morning hours quietly making preparations while she slept in our bedroom.

Spunky was Chuck and Jeanne’s dog, and their children’s pet, before she came into my life. In my imagination I see her following Jeanne around as she tended to follow me around, sitting at my feet while I worked, her herding instinct keeping track of all activity, making sure everyone was in view. The first time I met her I was sitting on a small wicker sofa in the sunroom when Spunky wandered over to me. Jumping up, she squeezed her big body next to me on the tiny sofa and lay down, gently putting her head in my lap. Chuck, greatly surprised, exclaimed: “She’s never done that—not to anyone!” We sat like that for a long time, quietly taking in each other’s calm energy. I felt completely welcomed and clearly accepted by this big dog, totally compatible.

Chuck’s daughter, away at school and unable to be here with Spunky on her last day, had sent us an email to read to her dear doggie, thanking her for the long life they had experienced together as sisters and best friends. As Chuck sat next to her and read Erica’s words, Spunky put out her paw, laying it on the printed sheet of paper, acknowledging the sweet truths and, then, when she had heard enough, she shifted away, grunted, as if to say, “Stop now, I’m done.” This was also Spunky, as unsentimental as they come; she’d heard enough. She was always open to a good cuddle but she’d just as easily push you away when she was done. This is what we felt she was telling us now, I’m done with this life; let me be free to go on. I feel privileged to have shared many experiences with Spunky, and to have known this most amazing dog.

The vet was due to come in the afternoon. We lit candles and sat down in the living room, where I had set up a nice bed for Spunky, just where we wanted her to lie, beneath the Buddha, but it was still going to be her choice. It was then we heard her trying to get up in the other room. Of course it was her nose that roused her, as we had just made some lunch. We helped her up and watched as she hobbled out to the living room, ready for a tasty treat. It was then that she saw the comfy bed I had prepared for her, actually in one of her favorite spots and, just as we would have wished, she went right over to it and lay down.

Chuck and I sat down again, ate our lunch, intending to sit with Spunky over the next hour as we waited for the vet. Sadness began to seep into the room as we reminisced about her. I picked up a book to read and Chuck, feeling restless and in need of some guidance, got up and went into the other room in search of reading material. He came back with The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying in hand. He said his hands just reached for it, his intent to shift the mood guiding him. Opening the book at random, he began to read about bringing appropriate energy to the bedside of the dying. He read that for life to go on without attachment, it is best not to bring sorrow and tears to the bedside of the dying, only joy and good thoughts for a calm journey of awareness, so that the dying one does not feel drawn to stay connected to anything on earth, thus interfering with their journey. This was just what we needed. It gave us the appropriate attitude, exactly the shift we needed to bring us to clear knowing of what we wanted for this lovely dog. We wanted her to be set free to go on her own journey. We did not feel it was appropriate to be sad for her. Her life had been long and fulfilling and we could not hold her back from the next leg of it. It was not our place to feel sadness, only joy and release felt right.

Once again, the voice from my dream came to mind. Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember. Now this phrase made sense to me. As we sat there peacefully, with a very calm and contented dog, I noticed her glancing at us every now and then, as if to say: “Yes, this is right, this is how it should be.” And I felt as if I had done this many times before, indeed, sat by a dying one, knowing exactly what they needed. The fact that Chuck let himself be led to that specific book was part of this knowing. We just had to remember, which was exactly the feeling we had as soon as he read aloud the words that were so appropriate. Oh, yes, that is how we are supposed to act on this most momentous day. We are merely here to assist the dying one with our good thoughts. We are here to send her on her joyous journey. Now we were at peace, all three of us, as we sat together and waited.

When the vet arrived Spunky greeted her with two loud barks. Her back legs now useless, unable to get up, she lay her head back down and waited. It was time and she was ready. Our hands on her at the last moment, I felt her energy leave so easily, so lightly. She was gone with a poof of happy release, without sentiment, off on her journey.

Afterwards, as Chuck and I sat in the empty living room, we felt her absence, but at the same time that her life had been fulfilled. We knew she did not need to hold onto anything here, it was as it should be. Again I was struck that we did indeed know this to be true, and that it was true for all of us. Our time was done when it was done; it was fulfilled. Don’t worry, you’ve all done this so many times before, over many lifetimes, you just have to remember.

I suddenly heard the loud cawing of a crow. It was so loud that I got up and went to the window. And there I saw a giant blue-black crow, sweeping back and forth across the front yard, over the roof of the house and back over the yard again, cawing ever louder. “She’s off on her journey,” I said, as the crow swept past the window one last time, its feathers shiny, glistening in the sunlight. It flew directly south, taking Spunky’s energy. On the wings of the crow, she continues her journey.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Thanks for reading and passing these blogs on to others! Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#748 The Undeniable Energy of Now

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Written by Jan Ketchel and including a channeled message from Jeanne Ketchel.

Once again I humbly accept this role as channel as I sit down with my open notebook. My intent today is to pass on the message I receive from Jeanne as clearly and straightforwardly as possible.

I have been feeling the intensity of the energy that has been sweeping the world, aware that it is a time of great and volatile change and that we humans cannot stop it. Our choice, it seems, becomes one of whether or not we flow and change with it or whether we choose to continue denying its existence and refuse the evermore pervasive and apparent call. The call is no longer in the distance, a mere whisper on the shore, but a loud shout blasting in the ear. Though, I admit, even in the presence of this undeniable shout, it is possible to hunker down and resist, living as if nothing is happening, yet, as we do, the old structures just keep crumbling. We feel this both inside and outside. Can we allow ourselves to resist the old and ride this new wave of change? The tide has already come in; this is the undeniable energy of now.

Even as I have personally struggled with my attempts to stay in the moment, the world outside has constantly called me to notice. “Notice this moment,” it says. “Note this, it’s important.” And I cannot deny that those moments of note have indeed proven to be more than simply moments of heightened awareness or scribbled notes on a page, they have been cataclysmic.

It is indeed a time of forceful energy, a time of change that I feel will not let up. And we are being asked, simply because we live now during this time on earth, to not only take note and warn of this energy, but to actually enact change, to ride its power, beginning with our own lives. I, personally, cannot accept the status quo nor pretend that life will go on as it has in the past, or uphold old lies, for whatever reason. It is no longer possible for me to do so.

Are you moving forward with the energy too? Or are you going to be buried under the sands of the old times? These are the questions to ask. I truly believe that this is what we have to face now. Personally, I am being forced to accept the truths that are daily revealed to me, and to keep moving at a sensible pace, in step with the times. I feel it is the only thing to do. I must gather my fears and move forward. I have experienced cataclysmic changes in the past and I now go forward with the lessons I have learned; number one being that, in the end, I will be forced to go anyway. I would rather go forward with awareness, alert, actively participating in the unfolding of a new world than wake up one morning not knowing where I am. I like awareness better than oblivion.

I ask that Jeanne speak of this inevitable and incredible change that is being forced upon us all. How do we deal with this energy? How do we accept our vulnerabilities while also allowing ourselves to fully embrace our talents, strengths, and the life lessons we have learned, so we can make good choices for our personal lives, in alignment with the changes sweeping the entire world?

Jeanne responds:

Each one of you must look inwardly and decide what you can handle at this moment in your life. Your immediate reactions may be to either be too soft or too hard on the self and this may not aid you in your search for guidance. I suggest a modest and honest assessment of the self be given some attention.

The task then becomes to pull out both your strengths and your weaknesses and lay them side by side. Pick up what strengths you are most comfortable utilizing, in both innerly and outerly activities, and walk on with them in hand, and put the others in your pockets for future moments when their time of utilization will become apparent. Having noted your weaknesses, do not attach to them, for they will no longer guide you forward. But, be fully aware that they will follow after you, seeking to pull you back.

This is a grand time of transition. As Jan notes, the energy is not going to baby you but push you all to honesty, to self-exploration, and toward growth that is unprecedented. It is a time that will catapult, if allowed to become the fuel of forward movement rather than the fuel of grinding halt. Do you wish to fly now? Or do you wish to be buried deeply in the old world of stagnancy?

A new wind is blowing and it may be almost too much to bear. It may be difficult to breathe in the face of its tremendous force, but when all is said and done, it will have changed everything, and this is what you must all keep in mind. The truth is: the world itself is changing and there is no stopping it.

It takes great courage to pick up your weapons of strength and move on. You may not be well acquainted with these weapons. They may have been kept modestly hidden and little used. But it is time now to learn their worth. I do not speak of weapons of strength that have thus far proven useful in the world. I do not speak of ego-related or personality strengths, but only of inner spiritual strengths. So that is your first priority: to figure out your spiritual strengths and bring them to your hands and tongue and utilize them. Speak from your inner voice of truth, keeping your actions in alignment with this new voice.

Here are some questions to ask that may help in this process:

What is truly necessary in your life now?
What change are you personally being confronted with?
Where is your current direction taking you? Is it right, in alignment with the inner spirit that seeks to utilize and act on its true strengths?
Where are your weaknesses, and how can you fight against them when they intrude on your progress?
How can you get your mature inner spirit self in the place of guide now?
Can you dare yourself to live from a new and deeper inner self?

These are questions to ponder personally, even as you ask these of the world around you. As you see the toppling of old dominant attitudes and conventions—whether they have worked or not—note, truthfully, that they are coming down. So what comes next? More of the same? I don’t think so. The energy of now is not conducive to more of the same. It will simply knock down the flimsy attempts at reconstruction; for the old structural dynamics hold no inner strength against the forces of such change.

I do not mean to alarm with my use of such stark metaphor, though in actuality the truth is there: change is tumbling the old status quo, and is more in favor of continued toppling than reconstruction of the same.

Place yourself in the middle of that change. Accept that it is change at all costs, unstoppable, inevitable, necessary. And then decide how you want your future to unfold. You have the power of choice and there are really only two from which to choose.

First choice: Keep trying to rebuild, uphold, reconstruct an old life after each storm.

Second choice: Follow your heart and go for the true personal and spiritual life, unendingly unfolding before you.

For, in truth, life will go on no matter what happens. You must decide what you want that life to look like. What is most important, and how do you see the world around you unfolding over the next few years? Can you keep up with it? That is the challenge: Can you keep flowing, remaining modestly and humbly in alignment with your inner truths and strengths?

Do not be too soft or too harsh, as I said. Do not either be too lenient or too critical, too naive or too rational. There is a way to be pragmatic and yet in balance with the deeper truths of the self and the times you live in. It takes awareness and a heightened sense of alertness to the energy. It involves remaining aware of trends that are not conducive to true growth, getting to the moment when you make the ultimate decision of whether you want to be further enslaved or be free. Either way, change is coming. And I can guarantee, it will not be as you want, but it will be as you need: transformative.

Thank you Jeanne and all our guides in the universe! She is letting us know that challenging times are inevitable and no matter what we choose to do we will be confronting some scary stuff. The outcome will be pretty much the same however, so how we opt to ride the changing tides is the only choice we really have. Do we flow or do we flounder?

Please feel free to post comments or respond to this message in the post/read comments section below. And thank you for passing the messages on!

Most fondly and humbly offered.

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Who’s Yin and Who’s Yang? Whose Yin and Whose Yang?

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Vignette #1: Your Yang over My Yin

“What’s for dinner?”
“I haven’t really thought about it… maybe rice and some vegetables.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t seem very excited about that… what would you like? Would you prefer pasta?”
“That sounds great!”
“Okay.”

Vignette #2: My Yin over Your Yang

“I feel really calm and relaxed with you.”
“How ’bout we get naked?”
“That feels like such a disruption. I just wanted us to stay connected, go deeper into calm.”
“I was feeling for deeper connection as well.”
“I get that, but I’d have to get there… this feels so right now.”
“So, you don’t want that, it’s not natural… sounds like you’d be accommodating me. I certainly don’t want that.”
Silence.

In Vignette #1, Yin, the Receptive, awaits the impulse to action from Yang, the Creative. Once the Yang impulse is clearly defined, Yin springs to action and materializes the pasta. Though Yin had its own Yang idea, rice and vegetables, its dominant Yin nature pushed aside its own Yang impulse and fully embraced the outer Yang desire.

In Vignette #2, Yin was sinking deeply into its restful, restorative, dormant state. Yin invites outer Yang to join in still union. Yang suggests active union—creation. Yin calls upon its inner Yang to protect the legitimacy of still union. Outer Yang is defensive. It realizes that to acquiesce to Yin is the only possibility for union at this time.

Yin and Yang are the primal energies of this world. Yin is associated with water and earth, hence, energy in a denser form or simply solid energy. Yin energy is the substance of our material world: matter. Yin is the primal state of rest or stillness where energy is amassed and stored. In contrast, Yang is associated with fire and air. These elements lack substance. However, their influence creates definite movement. This is the ethereal, mental, spiritual activity that produces ideas, thoughts, designs, and actions. Yin, as the denser material energy, receives and gives form and substance to the impulse of Yang. If intent is Yang, then the physical realization of intent is Yin. In a deep state of Yin meditation, a Yang idea might be born.

We are all comprised of Yin and Yang energy. Often woman is associated with Yin and man with Yang. Men don’t produce eggs. Men have no womb. Men cannot hold and deliver life. But the tiny sperm that scratches the enormous egg is the impetus to action that the dormant egg awaits to begin the process of unfolding new life. This reality gives rise to the assignment of Yin and Yang to stereotyped sex roles. However, this is a misconception. For instance, all beings, male and female, require restoration and sleep to gather energy to live life. This is a Yin state that all partake in equally. Yang states of decision-making and creativity are equally utilized and necessary for both men and women.

To manifest (Yin) any thought (Yang) we must have energy. For water (Yin) to produce steam, energy, it must have fire (Yang) beneath it. If the fire is too weak Yin dominates and the water cannot boil to steam. If the fire is too great the water overflows the pot and puts out the fire, again, no energy produced. The only way to produce continuous energy is for these opposite elemental forces to be in balance, working together to produce the energy for life: the fire burning at a low, steady flame, the water simmering gently.

Balance, however, does not mean always being equally dominant. At night, the sun acquiesces to the moon. In the day, the moon acquiesces to the sun. Together, each taking the lead in succession, they create the deeper balance of our world—night and day.

We do well to assess the interplay of our inner Yin and Yang energy states. Often, we favor either Yin or Yang. Bringing these energies into internal balance is the key to outer relational success. You can be certain that your non-dominant primal energy state will show up in your choice of partner. If you choose a partner of similar dominance, something will be missing in your relationship. If you are Yin dominant you will be attracted to a Yang dominant partner and vice versa. This has nothing to do with your biological sex. Men and women may be dominated by either Yin or Yang energy.

Yin and Yang are mutually dependent. If we are favoring one state inwardly, we will seek to balance it out in outer relationship. This does not necessarily mean that we’ll find harmony in relationship. For instance, if we feverishly reject our inner Yin in favor of our inner Yang, we are certain to battle our Yin dominated partner. If we’ve had difficulty accessing our inner Yin or Yang, we are likely to become overly dependent on our partner who gives us a connection to our missing inner energy. Dependency often creates strife in relationship. As depicted in the opening vignette, we might easily dismiss our budding but inferior inner energy in favor of the whim of our dominant partner.

The first question to answer in relationship is: Who’s Yin and Who’s Yang? Knowing this, you can examine the patterns in your relationship that are driven by both the oppositional and complementary interaction of these energetic forces. From here, you can also answer the question: Whose Yin and Whose Yang might be dominating inside the self and outside in the relationship?Examining the Yin and Yang of relationship from an energetic standpoint, allows for a deeper understanding of self and other beyond blame. Yin and Yang are opposite sides of the same coin, inseparable and necessary in all life.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

Chuck Ketchel, LCSWR