A warrior always studies needs, wants, and desires. What is really necessary and why? Meanwhile, a warrior knows that the ultimate goal in life is to gain enough insight and energy so as to be able to move on, to become enlightened in such way so as to not only transcend this world but to engage it in such a way as to bring forth its gifts. And so a warrior is both a student and a teacher, an apprentice of life while simultaneously garnering the energy and wisdom of a master.
These two sides of self are kept in balance at all times as the warrior travels through life eager to learn and equally eager to be an example of how to live with intent focused on the merger of these two aspects. And so a warrior is both gentle and fierce, both humble and sharply aware of each step taken on the chosen path of heart, always aware of how to learn and how to teach, by example. A warrior never ceases being curious and available for life’s adventures.
Occupy the mind with good ideas, thoughts, and positive mantras to obliterate the old negative self. Work toward a new self involves destruction of the old, metaphorically but sometimes literally as well, as in getting rid of and breaking through old structures that stand in the way. If change is desired then change must be instituted or no change will happen.
A warrior is always on the path of change, active and proactive, taking charge, taking action, awake, alert and moving always in a direction of newness. A warrior knows that change begins in the mind and so each morning upon waking a warrior’s first action is to sweep clean the mind, to begin with empty mind, and to be certain that only positive thoughts, ideas, and truths enter it. Thus a warrior really does start each day fresh and anew.
With positive mind, a warrior is prepared to take on the challenges to be encountered, whatever they may be, even negative thoughts, without slipping back into old patterns of defeat. A warrior does not get overpowered but always enters the unfolding mystery of life with awe. A warrior always walks a path of heart with focus, determination, and wonder.
From whence does our ancient innocence come? – Photo by Jan Ketchel
The truth is, the child self is older than the adult self. We were all children first. Actually, to advance, the child self had to stay behind so that the adult self could mature.
The child self, who sought the safety and fulfillment of its fundamental survival, who sought unconditional love and acceptance, who sought the pure play of innocence and discovery, had to shut down, hold in, and separate from the seeds of its budding adult self that it launched, while it sank into dormancy, waiting for the day the adult might turn around and rediscover its roots in the purity and innocence of childhood again.
Often, that child self was neglected and traumatized and it secretly bears the weight and torment of its early experiences. Voluntarily, it broke away from consciousness, hiding in the dark so as not to disturb the forward movement of the adult self. Its only hope of redemption, its hidden contract, was that in the triggered moments of adulthood the adult self would come in search of the traumatized child self and lead it to the light of day and help it to become unburdened of its horror stories, terrors, and confusions.
Only the adult self can become the true parent self to its lost child self. Only the adult self can find its forgotten self. Only the adult self can stand with its younger self and bear witness to the full truth of its younger experiences and, in so doing, put them to rest. Only the adult self can free its imprisoned child self and merge its innocence into the play of adult life.
Too often, adults forget their childhoods and only know they don’t want to revisit that horrid period of life. As the child stays cloistered, however, life in adulthood is experienced as barren and lacking, and the adult self seeks to compensate for the lack of joy and freedom by indulging in the myriad of addictions available in adult life.
At other times, adults become parents and inadvertently project their forsaken child selves onto their own children, who they serve as if they were princes and princesses, unable to limit, so deep is the pain of their own forsaken inner children. Sometimes the inner children are projected onto pets or other helpless creatures of the world, whom the adult feels compulsively bound to nurture and save.
Oh, that sweet innocence! – Photo by Jan Ketchel
If we come to the place of discovery of our own inner child, perhaps at first in dreams where our child tells us its secrets, we may be so appalled by the lack of care given and the hardships endured that we feel bound to serve and protect this wounded child at all costs. Young children do need parents to cater to their needs; its the core of survival. But they do also need parents that will listen to the truth, the whole truth of their experiences, and help them sort out the confusion of who is to blame and why things actually happened. Children may need to be helped to release their anger and sadness, and receive appropriate love and support.
But the truth is, our younger child self is much older than we are and may, in some way, be much wiser and more mature as well. After all, that warrior self already endured pain, suffering, neglect, perhaps even abuse and torture, things the adult self finds difficult to endure much less believe.
The child self does not need to be catered to or compensated for all that it had endured or lost. What it does need, however, is to be relieved of its burdens and its innocence to be welcomed into life.
Too often the adult self struggles with facing the pain, suffering and frustrated needs of the child self and tries to make a life for it where there is no pain or woundings. That’s impossible. As Buddha said, life is suffering. What the child self needs to know is that the adult self will not abandon it again, and that if there are woundings it will heal.
The solution is not to remain overprotective of the child self for the life it has lived, whereby cutting off the opportunity for joy in life, nor in overcompensating or catering to a child who suffered by making unrealistic promises or acting out its entitlement demands. The key to child care is a full recapitulation where the adult self stays present and hears the full truth of the childhood it once lived, ending the child’s isolation, validating its truths, releasing it from its frozen emotions and clarifying its beliefs.
During the recapitulation process the child self and the adult self learn to trust and feel safe with each other. They learn, no matter what is encountered or presented, that they can and will handle anything together in a nurturing and loving manner, without judgment or fear, unconditionally committed to a new and open relationship with each other. With that deep work done, the innocence of the child self merges with the maturity of the adult self and together they are not only ready to lead a new and fulfilling life, but fully open to experiencing all the joys and love that adulthood offers.
Perhaps the greatest challenge for the adult self is to encounter the pure innocence of the child self and to not succumb to a deep sadness and protectiveness that freezes the ability to bring that innocence into life. All innocence must experience the wounding of life outside the protectorate of the fairytale. For innocence to continue life in this world, it must grow to know about pain and suffering.
Resolution, acceptance, fulfillment… – Art by Jan Ketchel
Buddha’s father attempted to encase him in a painless magical kingdom, a fairytale world that he would never leave. Eventually, however, Buddha did go out into the real world and fully experience the woundings of the real world, as did Christ in his own ending on the cross. Nonetheless, it was through such woundings, and the ability to not get swallowed up by them, that each of these teachers eventually ascended to their spiritual enlightenment.
The path laid out for the adult self is to let our innocence out into this world and, through the trials and experiences in its human and spirit suffering, to find fulfillment in the enlightenment of the full human spiritual journey. This is true child care.
The warrior’s way is always in alignment with nature, for the warrior is always aware of nature’s power, intelligence, and guidance. And so a warrior is never alone but knowingly accompanied through life by forces beyond reason. Reason, a warrior knows, is limited by its belief that it has the answer to everything, but a warrior knows that reason is also a worthy player in the larger game of life and so a warrior balances between nature and reason. A warrior learns to relax, to flow with life, to look for guidance from both sides.
A warrior makes decisions based on the balance of self within the wholeness of nature. To ease through the turmoils of life a warrior lets go to the natural ways of a life of action within the confines of life in this world of reason. Yet a warrior is always focused on what is to come, where reason has no foothold and only the dictates of nature will be of aid. And so a warrior is always open and aware of everything, reasonably so of course!
Hoping for something will not make it happen or bring it to you. Only action will bring results. Decisions and choices are actions as much as moving and speaking out are actions. A warrior is always aware of everything, actions and inactions alike, the decision to move or stay, the choice of yes or no.
A warrior bases all decisions on remaining in alignment, in balance and in accord with the greater good. And so a warrior’s decisions, though inclusive of self—both inside and outside self—are very thoughtful, for a warrior knows that to stay in the Tao, in synch and harmony with nature, is by far the best choice of all.
To remain in the Tao is to always be at peace with everything that happens, knowing that it is right. A warrior also knows that everything happens when the time is right, for the Tao is the righting of everything, nature always setting a course correction, awaiting the warrior’s adjustment as well. Thus a warrior constantly takes action and things happen constantly too, for a warrior is aware that change is naturally a constant and that there is always the thrill of new life on the horizon, naturally, in the Tao.
