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Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Beware The Trickster

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The Trickster comes in many forms...

The Trickster is everywhere, waiting to draw us in. Even in moments of deep contemplation and worthy endeavor the Trickster may appear, throwing a mighty chink in the works of our deepest inner process. Today, I write one more story related to the day my aunt died, as it seems relevant to the message channeled from infinity on Monday: Show me Something.

As I have written of in several blogs over the past few weeks, my aunt’s dying was a process that spanned years. Together we had spoken of her death, read numerous books about the dying process together, and in her last few weeks spent many hours talking until she could do little more than utter a few words at a time. Finally, in full awareness, she set her intent. She was done with this life. She was ready. She asked me to be with her, to see her through the dying process.

I set out early in the morning to sit with her. On the drive to the hospital, I threw out a plea to the universe: “Please give me a sign,” I pleaded, “just one sign to show me what to do. I’ve never done this before. I’m nervous about being all that she needs me to be on this most important day.”

At the first stoplight I came to, I noticed a red and black bumper sticker on the car ahead of me. I inched closer, trying to read the small print. Here is what I read: Gandalf Murphy’s S……… Circus of Dreams. I couldn’t make out the word beginning with the letter S, but I was struck. Circus of Dreams! That must be meaningful, I thought.

At the next stoplight, I inched even closer, still trying to read the word beginning with the letter S. It’s then that I noticed the picture on the bumper sticker, a magician in a top hat, a big leer beneath a large curling mustache. A Trickster! Now I was wary, but I was still drawn to try and read the word beginning with the letter S. Could it be Sensational? Stupendous? What does all this mean? It must be significant or why else would I be so drawn to it?

There were no stoplights for a long stretch. “Focus on the road ahead,” I heard a voice say, “don’t get distracted.” Okay, but I still wondered what that word was that I couldn’t read clearly.

I came into Rhinebeck and stopped behind the same car at the light. Something told me, very firmly, not to look at the bumper sticker anymore. It wasn’t important. I turned my gaze to the left and then I got it. I spotted the Tibetan store and I knew that, indeed, I must not get distracted from the mission at hand.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche, and the writings of Tulku Thondup are instrumental in my own evolutionary process and were major players in my aunt’s process of dying. We had been waiting for this day for a long time. Now I understood what the message of the bumper sticker was: Don’t let anything distract you from the mission of the day. Your aunt’s intent is all that matters. You will be fine. That bumper sticker is nothing compared to how much preparation you have already done for this moment in your life. Stay focused on the mission.

The mission at hand...

From that moment on I never glanced at the bumper sticker again. My eyes were focused on the road ahead of me, which turned into a tunnel without further distraction, leading me to whatever dream would unfold as the day progressed. I let myself become part of the transformational process that was already in progress without attachment to fear or self-consciousness. I arrived at my destination having fully detached from all that was going on in the world outside me. All that mattered was the intent of the day. I shrugged off everything except what my aunt asked of me: to become what she needed; an energetic presence guiding and guarding her own energy as she took her final breath and swam into the light.

In being open to the process of asking for guidance, in asking infinity to “Show me something!” as Monday’s message guides us to do, I was also confronted with correctly interpreting the message I received that day. Had I gotten caught in my endeavor to look too closely at the bumper sticker, any number of outcomes could have resulted. But as soon as I turned away, listening to another voice telling me to let it go, I clearly understood that nothing else mattered but the mission at hand.

The Trickster pulls us constantly away from the real mission at hand: to evolve, to rid ourselves of our attachments, our agendas, our angers and selfishness, to be fully open and present for others, so that their journeys may be smoothed by our true and selfless presence in their lives. This is what I strove for on that day when I drove to the hospital to be with my aunt. The mission was not only her smooth dying process, but also my own letting go to the process. And that is what happened, we both let go, she of this life in her body and me of my self-consciousness and fear.

As I went with the flow, aligning with her needs and intent, I became—without thought really—energetically available. That is what I believe we are all prompted to do every day, to learn how to flow through our lives, making choices that matter, dismissing what in not in alignment with our greater mission. That is what the message on Monday asked us to consider when it said: Challenge infinity and dare yourself to experience something that will lead you to greater understanding.

It takes baby steps. Oh, and learning to identify the Trickster and then reject its intent to usurp our energy. And remember: the Trickster is not human, but energy that wants what it wants for its own selfish purposes. Watch out how it comes into your life. Just as the good signs of guidance come in many forms, so does the Trickster. It can be very tricky just trying to figure out the message we are supposed to learn.

I never did read that last word on that bumper sticker that day. I let it go, until I thought about writing this blog. Through a little Internet research, I discovered that the bumper sticker referred to a band: Gandalf Murphy’s Slambovian Circus of Dreams. In knowing that, I see that it’s relevance to the mission of that day was exactly what I needed.

It let me know, in one sense, that I was about to enter my own dream world and to not get caught up in someone else’s. It let me know that nothing was as uniquely and magically attractive as the mission at hand. I was being asked to stay attuned, aligned with what I was being asked to do: to guide another human being through her last hours on earth, to see her through to new life. Isn’t that what we’re all here to do: see ourselves through to new life?

Thanks for reading. Here’s hoping my experiences of the Trickster help in the unfolding of everyday life, tricky or otherwise.

Jan

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Parallel Lives, the Maze, and the Ego Self

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The Big Bang

In the beginning, so say the scientists, was the Big Bang, and the universe was born. In his seminal piece, The Trauma of Birth (1924), Otto Rank describes the Big Bang experience of human birth and its psychological impact throughout the life cycle.

On a soul level, many have retrieved their journeys through infinity; their lives lived before the big bang birth into their current lives in this world. These soul retrievals point to a parallel life, a soul of many lives that gives birth to the Self of this life.

The decision as to what life to be born into is made at that soul level, as part of that soul’s evolving journey and needs in infinity. Some have called this process Karma.

For most of us, the big bang experience of our birth trauma into the life we are in is a shock that severs us from the knowing of our soul and our many lives previously lived. We are born into a maze with huge walls that seal off the memory of prior life and our connection to our greater soul that continues to live in tandem with the self we become in this world.

A hint of previous lives

We are here on a mission, and that mission requires a blank slate maze-of-unknowing. A maze is a definite, constrained life: a family, a culture, a set of circumstances, a world within which to encounter specific challenges, and a world within which to develop an identity, a sense of self, an Ego—a point of consciousness.

That ego will become our working definition of who we are and also our engine to accomplish our mission in this world, that is: the reason we came here, the reason we were born into the circumstances we arrived into.

Had we the full awareness of our greater soul coming into this life, our mission would be compromised. We’d be unable to fully inhabit the role we need to experience in taking on the challenge of this life. However, the ego does, in its separated state from its greater soul, experience a deep underlying sense of insecurity and separation anxiety. The ego retains an awareness of its orphan state and part of its mission in this world is to reunite with its true birth parent, its greater soul.

The circumstances we are born into

Life for the ego is a fragmented self in a fragmented world—life in a maze—a neatly constructed world, but only a fragment of life at large.

Traumas beyond birth continue the fragmentation of ego self into Ego States. Ego states are separate senses of self that coexist and live in tandem—parallel lives in tandem, parallel lives within the ego’s life in this world.

Ego states may be hidden from or known to each other. Some ego states remain largely in the closet, holding frightening traumatic memories. Some ego states suffer arrested development, child states necessarily pushed aside or denied for adaptive reasons. We discover and live the parallel lives of our ego states in our symptoms—i.e.: ailments, diseases—hinting at and suggesting the truths of our parallel lives. We discover and live the parallel lives of our ego states in our mood states—i.e.: depression, elation, hope, hopelessness, fear, etc. We also discover our ego states in obsessive projections—those we are drawn to in admiration or those we abhor. Somewhere in those projections are the mirrors to our unknown, unloved, or forgotten ego states. We also discover our ego states and our connection to our greater soul in dreams, active imagination, and synchronistic phenomena.

Parallel lives

If we can suspend our rational judgments and explore the characters and messages of dreams, synchronicities, and other psychic phenomena, we begin to step outside the maze of our narrow selves and access the fullness and resource of all that we truly are.

This is the process of integration that unites the fragments of this life and potentially the fragments of all lives lived—our greater soul—within this life. This is a mighty task though, as it asks us to truly take in the Big Bang realization of all that we are: We are much more than our orphan ego clings to in its neatly defined maze.

Though the knocking down of the walls of our mazes may shatter our “known” selves, it is not without its rewards. We discover a-maze-ing resources and a life of magic now freed for fulfillment beyond the maze, a once needed but now much too small home.

Out of the many become one: Parallel lives united, beyond the maze, continue the soul’s journey in infinity.

Chuck

Messages from Jeanne

Readers of Infinity: A Message From Jeanne

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Dear Jeanne,

A few weeks ago, I made a change in my intent to be open to all of infinity. You have been a part of my life for ten years, teaching me what it means to change, to face the inner darkness, but most of all to trust. Learning to trust people, my inner knowing, and the signs in my life that appeared to guide me, have all shown me what it means to be a changing being. As I shifted into a more open relationship with infinity, your presence seemed to open as well, expanding generously beyond the confines of a process that worked well but no longer felt necessary, for, as you had once said, I would one day no longer need you in the relationship we had enjoyed as teacher and pupil. In a sense, you were encouraging me to accept my role as a full-fledged partner. And so I have taken up the challenge. I do however, miss the special bond with you, and I suspect others may as well. So, today, I wish to converse with you directly, for old time’s sake, but also for your special brand of guidance.

As I personally opened up to trusting not only my relationship with you over the past ten years but also my own inner process, I never felt special. I always knew that everyone could learn to be so open and available to outer guidance and learn to awaken the often deeply suppressed inner knowing. Through my own process of recapitulation, a process of doing deep work on the self, I reconnected with the self I always knew existed, the self I was afraid of because she had so many secrets and mysteries to tell me. I knew that what she had to tell me would shake my world, and I had to be ready for that. Now I can only say that in beginning to listen I did indeed have to face a great shake up, but it was only through that process that I was able to rid myself of all that inhibited me and kept me from truly enjoying life. Only in daring myself to change was I ready to engage in life, gaining insight and a new outlook on my entire existence as I went through my recapitulation. It is my greatest wish that all people find the courage and strength to face their inner darkness and in that process to find that they are more than worthy of this life, discovering that it is pretty spectacular to be human, especially in these times.

I wish to converse with you on many things, but I will start with a few simple questions for today. First, when I open to guidance, open to you or infinity as a whole, (I interpret you as the same thing really) what is it that I’m actually doing? Can you explain this so people can understand it? And what could others begin to do to learn how to be open to guidance as well?

Here is Jeanne’s response:

My Dear Jan, and all you Readers of Infinity: You may not realize that you already access the greater intent of being human, that is, the intent to change, evolve, and continue in energetic form beyond the confines of that world. Infinity is always available to you—it is the great secret of being human. By that I mean that your opportunities to receive guidance abound, you just have to listen. That is all that Jan does. She has learned to listen.

All who are in human form have the ability to receive guidance, yet the mind often refuses the invitations to listen. The mind fights with inner knowing. You have to admit this, for all of you have had instances in your lives when you knew what to do, how to act, react, or be; what to say or do to change or shift out of one situation and into another; how to grab the right moment and, yet, you hesitated long enough to let the clarity of that moment blur over.

That moment of hesitation is a missed opportunity for growth. One must have a certain amount of daring to grab onto such moments of change. These moments are the catalysts in life and, yet, even in missing them one must not fall into regret but discover instead what one is meant to learn. Meaningful encounters with infinity require a little self-searching and often much more than that. Often deep inner work is what is necessary for greater change.

If one is ready to accept that life is indeed full of lessons, for a reason, then one must get in the proper alignment, humble enough to accept the position of student, though one may be very learned and quite brilliant. To become a student of life one must set the intent to be open, as Jan calls it, open to the truth that life is indeed a journey of the spirit, seeking growth and higher understanding.

In order to truly accept the grand opportunity to be a student of life in a new way, one must learn how to trust. For that, as Jan mentions, is how one will be available for making decisions and choices in alignment with awakening the inner process of self discovery.

In learning to trust, one must also learn to be daring. Although daring to listen to the inner knowing may sound like a simple enough process, it is not. One must first acknowledge that the self is full of inner knowing, grounded in ancient truths of the universe. Then one must pay attention to this inner knowing. But the biggest feat and the biggest challenge is daring to act, to accept its guidance, its truth, and its process as a whole as it unfolds.

This means that as one learns that inner knowing is available one must shut down the normal chatter and judgments of the mind, attaching only to the inner truth, the right guidance from deep within, and dare the self to pay attention.

Find a quiet place to listen

For this day, I suggest a concerted effort be made to engage inner listening. Learn to quiet the mind. There are, as you all know, many ways to quiet the mind. Pick one that works for you. With quiet mind, begin paying attention to what else is happening inside you. Are there other voices? Are there deep truths emerging? Are there answers to your questions? Find a means of listening, even once or twice a day for a few moments to start. A good time is when you first awaken or are ready to fall asleep, the natural transition times in a busy life.

Begin listening. Start with that. Other guidance will come to guide you, perhaps from me, from Jan, or infinity, or even from you. It doesn’t matter, you each have it in you. Begin a practice now of change. It’s time!

As Jeanne finished her message, I was reminded that whenever I asked her for help, she would invariably tell me that I already had the answers inside me, and indeed she was right. I just had to dare to act. I had to get to the place of ruthlessness and no self-pity too, not in a mean way, but in a gentle way, pushing away the old voices as I allowed myself to trust the process I really wanted to engage in. It was a process I’d intended long before it started, because I needed to change, I’d known it for years.

Sometimes, however, we just don’t know how to enact change. Letting the process itself guide us may be the only way to get started, and that’s a fine way to begin acquiescing to the inevitable truth that we are all Readers of Infinity. I truly believe this is true, and I fully support your endeavors to prove this to yourself. The entire universe supports you! Once you set your intent the universe supports you—this is what I experienced during my own recapitulation and every day since. All I had to do was start looking for all the signs that proved this. They appeared every day.

Thank you Jeanne! I hope you enjoy the message today. I’ll be back on Wednesday with something new.

Until then,
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

Readers of Infinity: ONE

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Dear Infinity,

The people are rising up. They are questioning the status quo, protesting against the inequities and injustices of a capitalist system that serves the few at the expense of the many. This mass Occupy movement is awakening and invigorating a grassroots sense of power, the power of the people.

Personally, I feel the energy of this awakening movement very deeply, yet I fear that its intent is becoming as splintered as the multitude of factions that are now involved. I ask for a message of guidance regarding this energy of mass protest that, at its root, does indeed seek justice and change for all.

I am proud of the younger generation that is choosing to lead us in this brilliant way, using the technological tools that are in the hands of everyone. These protests are indeed worthy uses of the interconnected ability that is now so readily available to all of us.

If we are to use technology to remain connected and united in changing the world, what is the single most important and worthwhile thing for all of us to understand as we ride the current energy of change at this moment in time?

Here is how Infinity responds:

The power remains in the masses staying together, united in intent. Do not split into factions. Do not separate one from another, by country, religion, ideology, or political party. Do not disperse into groups of race, color, creed, or educational background. Remain instead as ONE.

Only in remaining strongly, centrally interconnected, as one group with one mission, will change be accomplished. Each day a new directive must circulate and all must act en masse. This is not only possible, but will also have the greatest impact, for a globally interconnected movement will be unstoppable.

However, personal agendas and egos, indecision, and disputes of the world you live in, must be swept aside. It is only in total acceptance of all beings as ONE being—one energy, one mind—that change will happen. Humanity must become one without borders for this movement that you speak of to surpass all other movements.

The potential is great, but success will only come with pure intentions and true acceptance of all peoples as one. You are all the same, even the opposition. All of you have equal greed inside you. The desires that the few exhibit and the many abhor must be accepted as occurring in all human beings, for they are part of the human makeup. All must ask the question: Where lies my own greed?

You are all the greedy few and you are all the masses. You all seek fairness, color blindness, borderless unity, with one direction for all humanity to now proceed in. The direction of fairness for all can only be achieved by acceptance of the unfairness that now exits. Greed exists and evil exists in all things, just as beauty, love, and goodness exist in all things. It is only in acceptance and balance and, of course, as ONE that any lasting change will succeed.

Find the ONE within the self, but find also the greedy self within before demanding change. If one does not acknowledge and realize the truth of the self at the deepest level, how can one trust the desire of the masses? In order for true change, the masses must unite in the core truth of being human.

If there is to be fairness for all then let it be for all. Honesty, openness, fairness, acceptance and love for all beings must ride this energy. There is enough energy already stirring to power this movement. Don’t lose sight of the original intent, set long ago: Change for all.

Thank you infinity! —Channeled by Jan Ketchel.

Messages from Jeanne

#768 A Sip of Infinity

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Written by Jan Ketchel with a channeled message from Jeanne Ketchel.

In her beautiful description of dreaming awareness, Moya, a reader of Jeanne’s messages, posted a comment last week, asking for clarity. She relates the following process:

When I left NY to go on my journey to the standing stones in Orkney, I set my intent to ride on the wings of intent and trust, and be open to freedom. Upon returning I was thrust into a deep recapitulation. I was totally unaware of what was happening initially as I came up against the voice of cogitation: relentlessly it unraveled using the “promises” and “uncomfortable truths.” Over the last two days I was able to become aware of what was happening, and last night I set my intention to dream silently on the wings of intent. A great large eagle took me to a foreign place, and I watched as things unfolded and this blissful realization came over me without words. I actually was smiling and felt detached and at ease. I was so elated I believe I was laughing in my dream. I realized that those promises no longer have any power over me. It was like I detached from the foreign voice without having to put up a fight. I simply said: you are not me. I also remember drinking from a sweet candle. The candle was handed to me by this light woman being. She was there to help me through this passageway. She broke off a piece of candle, handed it to me, and it started to melt in my hands. I drank the melting wax. It was like pure nectar and I felt a light kindling within me and it went outwards. I was riding between parallel lines. On one side I could see my true self: the self that is free to travel through infinity, and I chose to merge my intent with my true self. I could also see the foreign mind outside of myself—still there on the other side, outside of me. I acknowledge now is now. I am still a little daunted. I feel like that light being has been in my dreams before. I recognized her and yet couldn’t remember from where. Can you ask Jeanne for further guidance on this? I can’t even formulate a question. I feel like something has really changed and am not sure what it means.

Here is what Jeanne responds when I ask her to give Moya some insight into her experiences, real and dreaming. I also include the intent that the guidance that Jeanne offers be helpful to all of her readers.

My Dear Readers, and my Dearest Moya: I must first stress that these two selves, as described in this dream, are totally compatible and appropriate aspects of self. They must meet often throughout life in order for clarity to be gained. The mysteries of life will remain unattainable, unclear and distant if these two selves do not get together to hash out the truths and meanings in life.

That being said, I also pose that this other being that Moya experiences as outside of self awareness, whom she recognizes yet cannot fully grasp, is as much self as the other two beings, one of whom exists with feet and mind planted upon that earth, the other capable of transcending the earthen heaviness—and the power of life upon that earth to keep one bound and attached—to gain clarity.

Consider the self as multifaceted, all knowing, a being capable of understanding and grasping all knowledge. This is the truth of mankind, yet in that world has he been taught to remain solidly planted. Nothing extraordinary is allowed to interfere with that solidity, that final explanation of the world as one of solid objects defined, packaged, and presented. That is one reality, the reality that is acceptable to all human beings. Yet, most human beings have also had experiences that defy reason and the world of solid objects, such as Moya has in this dream sequence.

Man has been taught that he is limited, that he must go outside his meagre self to find explanation. He has been taught to believe in the capabilities of others who are far greater than he, a mere human being, rather than accept his experiences as personal lessons of untapped potential. Man has been taught to let others carry this energy, such as the light being that Moya so graciously shares experience of. In a different world, the world where everything is possible, it is quite acceptable to be energetically multifaceted beings, simultaneously existing in different stages of awareness.

In her dream, Moya is all of these beings. She is earthbound self; aware self who is capable of detachment from that earthen self—all seeing and aware—yet is she also capable of handing herself the cup of truth. In being offered liquid light of awareness, she is being handed knowledge of deeper self, more connected to the flow of all life and all knowledge. And of course she experiences this light being as recognizable: she is self!

The process, as described by Moya, to achieve this dream awareness—recapitulation—whether cognizant of it or not, opened the door to gain greater insight into self. In facing old patterns, old means of coping—and by being dragged into awareness of the repetitiveness of the pain of such recapitulation—the first step to change was not pushed away in fear but faced, and this allowed for a transcendent split to greater awareness. It is only in acceptance of the frailties, fallibilities, and pain of truth about oneself that one will truly be allowed access to deeper aspects of self. For how can one accept the truth of greater awareness if one has not fully understood the self as earthen being first? If one cannot face pain, one cannot transcend pain.

I contend, in offering insight into the many aspects of self, that all beings are offered opportunities to achieve the stages of awareness as described by this evolving being, Moya, but one must simultaneously face the many challenges that accompany such moments of opportunity. One must push the self beyond the norm, beyond the familiar. One must ask the self to trust the process that is presented. One must follow through by facing all the fears that arise, from the most tiny and insignificant to the most astoundingly confrontative. It is only in transcending all fears that one will achieve enlightenment and be okay with being liquid light.

It is the interconnectedness of all things that awaits recognition inside you, My Dear Readers, the mergence of self with all energy. Whether you call it God or any other name, it simply means that you have all you seek within, yet are you nothing; you are simply a sip of infinity. Can you accept that? Can you leave it all behind and become a drop in the vastness of all energy? Can you totally shed your human form, let go of you, all the selves included?

Can you fully own that you are everything and yet nothing? And then can you fully become that nothing, totally detached? This is not only a dream, as Moya experiences it, it is true reality.

Thank you Jeanne, and special thanks to Moya for sharing her experiences!