All posts by Chuck

The Monogamy Dialogues: Projectile Dysfunction

The projections we launch into our partners are the greatest cause of dysfunction in relationships, indeed, these alone can be the cause of erectile dysfunction itself!

The manly sun…
– Art by Jan Ketchel

Both men and women have masculine and feminine sides within themselves, perhaps best symbolized by the sun and the moon.

For instance, suppose a man expects his sexual desire to be as instant as the sun itself that rises, fully, each day. However, inwardly, his inner woman—that is his anima, the feminine side of a man—may in fact be in a phase of her feeling cycle where she simply isn’t immediately responsive to his conscious sun-driven erotic intent.

This man, unaware of his true inner feeling state of non-readiness for sex, is likely to look over at his partner and “see” or project onto her, his inner anima, as lacking any erotic interest in him.

“You never approach me to have sex, I always have to initiate,” he might despairingly utter. “I don’t think you desire me physically.”

These could be his challenges to his partner. Of course, if there were any desire on the partner’s side, or an openness to exploring possibly having sex, this approach likely kills that possibility. Further, if the couple then tries to force coitus in this dysfunctional relational state, it is indeed likely that the penis itself might choose to go on a flaccid strike and ED, erectile dysfunction, ensues.

Women are very much under the influence of the waxing and waning of the moon, which corresponds to the menstrual cycle with respect to feelings, moods, desires, and physical comforts/discomforts. Women also have an inner man—the animus, the masculine side of a woman—who functions on the mental plane in the background of her psyche.

This inner man might take the form of a warrior who protects his woman. Perhaps this woman in the example above is preoccupied with the dark side of the moon in her emotional cycle, definitely not interested in sex,  just wanting to  remain innerly with her mood. Unbeknownst to her, and in her defense, her animus might launch into a critical attack upon her partner when he suggests she’s not interested in sex.

“You didn’t text me all day, I guess staying connected isn’t that important to you,” she might pose. “Seems like the only time you listen to me attentively is when you think there’s a chance for sex.”

These kinds of preemptive “attacks” are likely to accomplish keeping her partner at bay while embroiling the two in a standoff.

Alternatively, a woman’s animus may decide to override her true emotional and physical state with the intention of pleasing her partner. This sets up an inner civil war, as her dominant feminine nature will not be happy at being coerced into having sex. Her feminine nature might shut down her receptivity and sexual sensitivity, resulting in being unable to climax. She might project disappointment onto her partner for being unable to please her or she might sink into a depression at her own failure to “perform.” Here we have the feminine version of ED.

In men, the masculine sun dominates—things are either black or white, on or off. Men’s thinking seeks total clarity and knowing. This kind of thinking happens at any time, is not subject to the tides or the phases of the moon. However, deep within himself a man is very influenced by the phases of the moon. Often his female partner senses this and has to manage his moods on a daily basis, though he himself might characterize himself as completely rational, unaware of the influence of his emotions upon his life.

Moon woman…
– Art by Jan Ketchel

Similar to a man, a woman is very much under the influence of her own inner man, with his hidden plots to protect, attack, or manipulate life through his own mental processes. Just as a woman might easily recognize the power of a man’s mood, which she has to manage, a man is often likewise aware of the intractable thinking of his partner in the part of herself that she is unaware is so dominant in her own psyche.

The ability to recognize and take responsibility for one’s self, including the contrasexual elements, the anima and animus, by working on them on an inner level before they explode outwardly and take over a relationship, clears the confusion that leads to dysfunction in relationships. With projectiles disarmed, true connection is possible. Sun and moon meet within each partner who then can meet in real union.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Chuck & Jan

Chuck’s Place: Finding Safety

Safe at home…
– Art by Jan Ketchel

Since time immemorial humans have looked to the sky for a greater power to nourish and keep them safe. In earliest times the rising sun was worshipped as the power that protected life through light and warmth. Later, sun worship morphed onto worship of gods and a God in the heavens who could be prayed to and who would personally intervene to offer safety to mortals. Eventually, that mana, or divine energy, came down to earth and rubbed off on kings and queens who provided  safety and bounty to their subjects. In our modern world that divine mana is still projected onto our elected leaders, to whom, from a very deep layer of the psyche, we look to for stability and safety.

Currently, the leader of America and the world presents as a case of hysteria common to patients in Freud’s psychotherapy practice in Vienna in the late 19th century. Freud’s remarkable discovery was that hysteria, marked by bizarre moods and impulsivity, was actually an emotional instability generated by a highly repressed instinctual nature at the root of the human being, in what he called “the unconscious.”

The latter stage of the Victorian Era in which Freud lived was so dominated by the ascent of the mind and reason that the instinctual, irrational nature of the human psyche was both devalued and repressed. That repressed nature rebelled by seizing possession of the personality in the form of hysterical symptoms. The cure, Freud was able to discover, required a reconciliation of the rational mind with its irrational nature.

The fact that the highest ranking official in the world today, imbued with the projected divine mana of the masses, displays an hysterical character rocks the boat of world and individual security and also challenges us all to reckon with the bipolar nature of our species. It is our task too to forge a reconciliation between our rational mental plane and our irrational emotional and instinctive nature, which lies at the root of our humanness.

Last week I shared in my blog that I limit my exposure to the news to one minute per day. I do this to regulate the influx of hysterical energy from without into my being, but also to regulate my own intense hysterical reaction to it from within. To find safety we must be able to regulate our own emotional reactivity within. For each individual this limitation may be different. Jan, for instance, finds that she can expose herself to one hour of the news per day.

Outwardly, protest movements have sprung up in an attempt to provide a container or boundaries for the hysterical energy at the center of the government. These are necessary, but I would caution that groups organize from a sober, regulated place, as hysterical reactivity to hysteria only serves to escalate it and works against the goal of stabilization. To rage against the unreasonable only makes one vulnerable to inviting rage into the center of one’s own  personality, an obvious defeat of the self.

On an individual level we are all confronted with the fear of disaster, natural or manufactured, erupting at any moment. The individual can no longer look to the leader for solace, certainly not a hysterical leader! One must calm the storm from within.

The simple act of deep breathing can have a calming effect on the stormy areas of the body from which our deepest emotions emanate. First and foremost is the perineum, that area between the genitals and the anus, the very root of the human body. When we don’t feel safe that region clenches. To place the awareness there, at our physical root, and gently breathe into it while releasing its tensions can bring deep calm to the self. The air we breathe comes from the sky, from the heavens; it is mana from the divine. When we bring the breath into our body and join it in deep communion with our root we join spirit and nature in peaceful safety within.

Although we can easily criticize and make fun of our hysterical leader, whose behavior really does threaten world safety, we might also accept that we, in our time, are being challenged to individually make peace with the true needs of nature, both within ourselves and outside in the world, just as it was the challenge in Freud’s time. We too are faced with bringing the forces of reason and the forces of irrational nature back into calm balance.

This is the opus of our time, as is evident from the events that present daily on the world stage, and yes, there is extreme urgency. But the first task is to be able to regulate and commune with the forces of nature within the self, the neglect and repression of which reflect in a president who suffers from hysteria.

Find safety within…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Behind the hysteria is nature itself demanding attention and a new relationship. And this is the task that we are all challenged to take up now, to become leaders ourselves by reconciling with the deepest natures within the self. Bringing balance and safety within will bring the same without. Try it within and see how the world follows suit.

This calming breath to the perineum is but one small beginning to safety. Many more will follow. But it’s always good to begin at the root of things!

Breathing in, releasing out,

Chuck

Chuck’s Place: Patient Waiting

These days I allow myself but one minute a day to read the world news. It’s all I really need to stay informed. It’s not an act of avoidance; it’s highly pragmatic and necessary to ensure my energetic preservation.

Patient waiting…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I came to this decision after observing the impact on my energy when I tracked the flow of news throughout the day. Repeated exposure led to spikes of reactive emotional activity that sucked the life out of me.

The Shamans of Ancient Mexico identified this as the impact of entities preying upon human energy. The shamans realized that the way to not feed these entities was to stop getting aggravated by them. When the shamans calmed their own energy the entities could no longer rile them. The entity then had nothing to feed off and moved on. That is what the energetic predicament on the world stage feels like right now and I feel it most imperative to guard my energy very carefully, to preserve the Self, and have the needed energy to act when it feels really right to do so.

Trump appears to emulate such an entity. It’s time to stop being aggravated by him, to stop expecting him to be different. It’s not going to happen. Give him nothing to feed off.  He can only be empowered by the emotional volatility that he incites. Starve him!

For objective guidance I have sought the counsel of the I Ching ever since the U. S. Presidential election was decided. The first reading I received was hexagram #54 Making Do, which I discussed in a previous blog back in November. Here is that blog: Making Do.

Last week I was compelled to consult the I Ching once again, as I felt the stirrings of a more extraverted response, as collective movements began springing up in response to executive orders. The I Ching gave me the exact same reading that I received in November, hexagram #54, Making Do. Once again it accentuated the first line of the hexagram and, in addition, the final line. I quote Richard Wihelm’s commentary on the first line:

“A man may enjoy the personal friendship of a prince and be taken into his confidence. Outwardly this man must keep tactfully in the background behind the official ministers of state, but, although he is hampered by this status, as if he were lame, he can nevertheless accomplish something through the kindliness of his nature.”

I think an apt example of this type of tactful influence is exemplified by an Elon Musk, a CEO chosen for Trump’s advisory council. Musk holds the value of addressing climate change, yet knows how to make money. Trumps respects him. He is one of only two CEOs on Trump’s CEO advisory panel of nineteen who challenged Trump’s order targeting Muslims.

The additional line at the top that I received in this second reading is abundantly clear: A marriage ritual is to be performed but neither the man nor woman is sincere; no real union is possible. The I Ching makes clear that though the outer forms of a democratic union may be observed, they are superficial. A genuine union is not possible. There is no genuine union with Trump.

This hexagram turns, in the future, into hexagram #61, Inner Truth. When the outer truths are overshadowed by fake news and authoritarianism, it is wise to send one’s attention inward and discover the real truth in one’s own heart and gut.

This morning, seeking further counsel, I once again consulted the I Ching for guidance to pass on. I received hexagram #3, Difficulty at the Beginning. This hexagram is about the chaos of birth. In one respect we are facing the chaos of the birth of a radical new world leadership. Additionally, we are at the beginning of the birth of a world movement seeking to respond to actions that many feel to be extremely dangerous to world survival.

The I Ching highlights the second line of this hexagram: a wagon breaks down, the horses run off; it’s a crisis, but someone immediately appears and offers rescue. The I Ching warns about a quick solution that appears to provide rescue. It points instead to patient waiting, that a cycle of time must first be completed which will prepare the foundation for a natural solution to fall into place. Strong guidance to avoid impulsive, precipitous action, however tempting it may be!

The future of this hexagram is #60, Limitation. Here the guidance is to accept the limits of what can be accomplished at this time and to place limits around the growing anxiety and emotional pressure within the self. A lake without borders can only flood, whereas a contained reservoir offers abundant nourishment when the time is right for sweeping action.

Each one of us must check in with our heart and gut and decide what action is right for us to take. Sometimes patiently waiting is the wisest yet most challenging action. That being said, it is the guidance for now.

Patiently waiting,

Chuck

A Link to the Timeless

I had the good fortune of a brief, private audience with Laurens Van der Post back in the 1970s. I asked him whether Jung really meant that what an individual resolved within themselves could indeed radically change the world. He replied, “that was Jung’s absolute conviction.”

In this time, where so much energy is drawn outwardly to the decisions of rulers overpowering our destiny, I pass on links to Laurens Van der Post’s three-part series on Jung’s contribution to our time, which captures the inner path to change. I am indebted to a young man for his research in finding the links to these valuable films which have been lost to me for decades.

Here are the links, the films are approximately 30 minutes each:

#1 In Search of the Soul

#2 67,000 Dreams

#3 The Mystery That Heals

March on consciousness!

Chuck

Chuck’s Place: Human Infinity

We are animals who know that we are going to die. Our animal compatriots who share the planet with us have no thoughts about life beyond life. Life beyond death, or infinity, is a human obsession.

Infinity is what the word says: the absence of finiteness, life beyond the limits of space and time. Though in today’s world this kind of “spiritual focus” is often downplayed as simply wishful thinking, certainly beyond reason, experiences with infinity appear everywhere in everyday life.

Portal to infinity…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Take for instance the simple act of going to sleep at night. All animals that live in a body, and for whom night is the natural time of rest and rejuvenation, go to sleep at essentially the same hour every night. Human beings, however, often suspend time and live in consciousness into the wee hours of the night, whether it be in reading, interacting with screens, thinking, playing music, creating, or fearfully refusing the dread of dying to the day and facing the darkness of the night. As the night progresses and one remains awake, one enters the altered state of timelessness, impervious to the needs of the finite body that must somehow function the next day.

Others make their forays into infinity through massive accumulations. This can take the form of hoarding where the limits of space are suspended and one lives with unlimited stuff. This can take the form of vast accumulations of wealth, wealth way beyond the realistic needs of many lifetimes. Such insatiability, an active pursuit to continuously possess more, touches the limitlessness of infinity.

Falling or being in love is a powerful suspension of space where lovers meet in the experience of oneness, a timeless union that touches the wholeness of infinity. So powerful is the nectar of this infinite experience that many simply cannot commit to a finite relationship because once limitation sets in, the sparkle of infinity dulls and one is prompted to go in search of it elsewhere.

The myriad of addictions of our time are actually spiritual attempts to reach infinity in material form. Take food. The pleasure of food intake without restriction, without boundary, gives entree into the limitless joy of infinity. To drink without limit, to suspend time, drinking through the night without limit, is to enter countless worlds of dreaming possibilities within the confines of a world that is still limited by the 24 hour cycle of day and night.

The preponderance of drug addictions in our time is directly proportional to the hegemony of reason over our lives, which so shuts down an active connection to explorative spirituality. Drugs in their many forms offer experiences beyond the limits of the body, in forms that range from euphoric stupor to access to superhuman abilities of physical prowess, from transcendent communication and creativity to energetic travel and experience unrestricted by bodily inhabitation.

Obviously, these many attempts to experience infinity in human form stress and can kill the human animal that contains the consciousness that seeks to experience MORE. They do demonstrate, however, the human spirit’s quest to experience its infinite potential no matter how spiritually impoverished our lives may be.

The Shamans of Ancient Mexico, appreciating this instinctual human need to realize  spiritual potential while in human form, squarely call out to and embrace their intent to experience their full potential. That spiritual intent naturally appears in dreaming and in magical experiences in everyday life.

If we can merely suspend judgment and open to what happens to us everyday, as synchronistically magical, we will indeed find our way to human infinity, safely, soberly, and fully.

Every moment is actually infinity,

Chuck