Monthly Archives: August 2010

Jan's Blog

A Day in a Life: Recapitulation & Infinity

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Over the past few weeks I have written about recapitulation as both a shamanic journey and as undertaking the inner journey, doing deep psychological work. Today, I touch on the other experiences that arise as one undertakes recapitulation and deep inner work, the experiences of infinity: of spirit, of channeling, of visions, of seeing and experiencing energy. Infinity presented as a shamanic or spiritual term, really boils down to experiencing the self as energy, interconnected to all other energy, having experiences that cannot be defined in rational terms.

Carlos Castaneda writes, in The Active Side of Infinity, that he did not have explanations for the effects his recapitulation was having on him, that when facing the unknown and being confronted with things he did not have interpretations for he could not find a means of describing them. Don Juan presented him with a new source of interpretation by telling him that “infinity, or the voice of the spirit,” would come to his aid. He writes:

“Don Juan has guided me to accept the idea that infinity was a force that had a voice and was conscious of itself. Consequently, he had prepared me to be ready to listen to that voice and act efficiently always, but without antecedents, using as little as possible of the railings of the a priori. I waited impatiently for the voice of the spirit to tell me the meaning of my recollections, but nothing happened.” (p. 169)

As he goes on to recapitulate more memories of how he had behaved towards others in his life he finally arrives at the following: “I didn’t have to ponder anymore the significance of my vivid visions. For an unquestionable certainty invaded me, as if coming from outside me.” (p. 172) He goes on to explain how he discovered that the dictums he had been brought up with had overtaken him, what he had been taught driving his every action; so deeply ingrained they became necessities. This realization is his turning point. He goes on to say:

“I was aware, beyond any doubt, that what was at stake was infinity. Don Juan had portrayed it as a conscious force that deliberately intervenes in the lives of sorcerers. And now it was intervening in mine. I knew that infinity was pointing out to me, through the vivid recollections of those forgotten experiences, the intensity and depth of my drive for control, and thus preparing me for something transcendental to myself. I knew with frightening certainty that something was going to bar any possibility of my being in control, and that I needed, more than anything else, sobriety, fluidity, and abandon in order to face the things that I felt were coming to me.” (p. 172)

Don Juan admonishes Carlos to not get caught in “psychological exaggeration,” but to accept that he had entered an irreversible process. “Your true mind is emerging, waking up from a state of lifelong lethargy,” he says. Carlos writes:

“Infinity is claiming you,” he [don Juan] continued. “Whatever means it uses to point that out to you cannot have any other reason, any other cause, any other value than that. What you should do, however, is to be prepared for the onslaughts of infinity. You must be in a state of continuously bracing yourself for a blow of tremendous magnitude. That is the sane, sober way in which sorcerers face infinity.” (pp. 172-3)

Carlos proceeded to do what most of us do when faced with the “onslaughts of infinity,” he got busy, immersing himself in work, in writing, in anything to keep infinity at bay. During my own recapitulation I too used all my energy to keep infinity from invading and seeping into my life, until finally, out of sheer exhaustion, I realized it was hopeless. There was nothing I could do to keep it away, including my connection with Jeanne, which both greatly aided me and frightened me at the same time. My own experiences mirror what don Juan described to Carlos in the following excerpt, as he talked about the results of going into inner silence:

“He assured me that a dot of a peculiar, rich, pomegranate red shows up, as if bursting from the lavender clouds. He stated that as sorcerers become more disciplined and experienced, the dot of pomegranate expands and finally explodes into thoughts or visions, or in the case of a literate man, into written words; sorcerers either see visions engendered by energy, hear thoughts being voiced as words, or read written words.” (p. 174)

Carlos went on to have an experience of words moving at tremendous speed, impossible to read. After his experience he rushed to tell don Juan about what had happened to him, as I once rushed to Chuck, needing anchoring in this reality. Don Juan assured him that he had had his first encounter with infinity and although its descent was not gentle, it was nonetheless how it appeared and that Carlos was going to have to learn how to adjust to its onslaughts. In my own case, I too had to learn how my connection with Jeanne was meant to be utilized, what it really meant for me personally, but also what I was supposed to be doing with it: what I was being shown and why by infinity.

Carl Jung also experienced the “onslaughts of infinity,” and many of his psychological terms and tools come from these personal experiences. The Red Book is his personal journey into the unconscious, into what don Juan called inner silence, the place where we are offered access to that which lies beyond the rational world, which has so structured and defined our perceptions.

In The Red Book, on pages 230-231, Jung contrasted “the spirit of the time” with “the spirit of the depths” as two opposing forces that must be reconciled with, the outer rational world with the inner unknown world. When he asked “the spirit of the depths” to give him a sign that it was right to no longer resist its call, he received a two hour long vision that happened in broad daylight. This was the beginning of his journey back to his soul, for he could not resist this “onslaught of infinity.”

In daring to take the inner journey, whether it be called recapitulation or inner work, reliving memories or doing active imagination, both Carlos and Carl entered other worlds, as real as this one. Despite initial fear and resistance, in finally acquiescing to the “onslaughts of infinity,” they both perceived and experienced energy differently. Their lives changed when they chose to take the journey with infinity leading the way, as both resource and guide.

If you wish, feel free to share or comment in the Post Comment section below.

Sending you all love and good wishes,
Jan

NOTE: The books mentioned in this blog are available for purchase through our Store.

News and Notes

Today’s Message from Jeanne

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Today, I am posting below two separate messages from Jeanne. The first one, #710, is a general question about the energy and guidance for the week. The second one, #711, refers to some guidance I requested regarding an incident in our yard—nature doing its thing again—but I wanted to know what the significance was for us personally. So I thought I would share that message with you, because it seems appropriate to our times.

Be well, and I’ll be back again on Wednesday with another blog about recapitulation or some other theme that arises between now and then. Have a good week!
Jan

Messages from Jeanne

#711 The Groundhog is Dead!

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Thank you for those words of insight regarding my first question for today. Sometimes I feel that I get caught up in feeling the energy of shift but then I fall back into complacency, almost there before I know it. The other evening, Chuck and I were sitting in our yard talking and enjoying the breezes, unwinding after a busy day. I kept smelling something rotten, and in fact pretty soon it was so overwhelming that I said: “We have to go inside; I just can’t stand the smell anymore!”

I was determined to find out where the stench was coming from, certain that a dead animal lay nearby. The next morning I looked all over the yard but found nothing. Even Spunky the dog, sniffing and restless as all heck, could not locate the animal. Every time she went too far her old legs gave out and I had to lift her back up and lead her into the house, for I could not leave her outside to sit calmly, as is her habit, for she was too restless. Later that morning, my son called to me, he had found the culprit! “A half of a rotting groundhog is lying next to my car, the top half!” he exclaimed. And there it lay, just where Spunky had been heading every time she stumbled and fell, a dead top half of a groundhog, neatly severed mid-torso, its arms and head lying in a pile of pine needles. It was quite a strange sight. I shoveled it up and tossed into the woods in the backyard and then called Chuck to tell him I had found the smell, a dead groundhog! “The groundhog is dead?!” he asked in wonderment, for he has written extensively about “groundhog day” habits. “Half of the groundhog is dead,” I specified, for I had no idea where the other half was and though I searched and sniffed around the yard, it was not to be found.

We surmised that this was still a very good sign, that something meaningful was being presented to us, and that we are indeed evolving if even half of the groundhog is dead! Jeanne, can you shed some light on this most intriguing sign?

Yes, My Dear One, I can certainly expound upon your summary, for it is indeed a precipitous sign, if you take it personally, as you do, and not just as an annoying stench.

First, you must note that it is the top half, or front half, of the groundhog, the consuming end: the mouth, eyes, nose, ears, and the digging paws with their sharp claws. It is the end that sniffs out life, but that incessantly digs in and wallows in the ground, for it cannot help itself. It must burrow into the earth. It is the desirous senses, the busy ego self, who digs so diligently to set up a life that is safe, secure, and patterned after the familiar. All groundhogs act this way. No groundhog has ever done otherwise. This is the truth of this creature: it is a creature of nature and it will do what it does until it dies. It is only when it dies that it changes, otherwise it follows its nose and its digging compulsions. It can do nothing else.

Humans, on the other hand, may look upon such a creature as cumbersome, unenlightened, rather boring. However, this is a perfect reflection of the ego in the world, for, in truth, it only does so much before it has utilized all its skills and it can go no further. The bigger the ego, the bigger the burrow, but it is still a burrow.

Look now on the fact that the ego aspect of self, the front half of the groundhog, is dead and rotting in your yard, next to a vehicle of travel no less, its stench so overwhelming that you could not rest in its presence! The habits of the ego—doing what it does so naturally—are now compromised, because the truth is, that in your world, the time of the ego in compulsion is dead. It is a time now of spirit, that which has been missing. But note, it is not likely that spirit has been totally absent from even the life of the groundhog, for its energy did exist in its very life force, though it was unconscious energy. Humans, however, have conscious awareness in every moment of life, yet do you push it away in the same manner that you attempt to push away the stench of decay.

In conclusion, I suggest that half an ego is enough, enough to navigate the world, using it to digest what you must, while at the same time accepting your most necessary inner awareness as your main guide in life. Can you allow your burrowing to become energetic exploration now, going deeper into new habits, while you allow the old ones to remain as compost upon the past, nurturing your future? Can you, My Dear Ones, use your spiritual drive and awareness to continue your digging toward fulfillment?

This is a time of great shift from the old to the new, from old habits to new means of growth. This is always what life is about, but as usual the choice is yours. However, it is very clear that, for all of you, over the past few weeks some old part of you has been creating quite a stench, and you all know that it is time to let it go. It is time to find a new method of digging and tending your gardens, My Dears. All of you have the tools within and that is where you must look.

Remain aware of what comes into your world to show you the means of growth. Life is all about growing and evolving and it will guide you energetically in signs and by all means available in nature and otherwise, so be alert. Take the signs to heart and ask to be shown your new path. Ask to be freed of your fears by facing them. Even as your fears lead you in the direction your life must take, even as they may force you to turn from the decaying remains of an old self, so are they your greatest guides.

We have no idea where the other half of the groundhog is, but I gather that it is not important. I see that enough has been presented to us and I accept the challenge to keep growing, even though I may have to do it differently.

Yes, that is what you are being presented with now: to keep going, using new tools, doing life differently on all fronts, without fear of the old catching up. For, after all, the groundhog is showing you that it is dead. The other half of the process is up to you.

Is the groundhog half dead, or half alive? Which way do you see it? And which half do you elect to use as your catalyst? Still need some groundhog in your life?

Messages from Jeanne

#710 Remain in Renewal

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Jan Ketchel channeling Jeanne Marie Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
I feel as if I’m reclaiming some lost energy after many weeks of foggy discontent. Can you offer us a note of guidance as to how to handle our challenges over the next week?

This is indeed a time of renewal and power, for the fruits of your hard labors are coming to fullness. It is harvest time and, yet, is it also a time of picking through all that you have sown and deciding which fruits to consume and which to save as seedlings for future growth.

With the clarity that has been gained regarding the self over the past few weeks, it is time to determine more fully what you would like your future self to look like, deciding how you want to live but also how you want your life to unfold. You may elect that the unfolding of your life remain in its present process, though you all have the ability to change how you live, by how you perceive your life.

My advice for today centers around setting a new intent based on what you have learned about the self. You may have also learned a lot about the others in your life, especially those who are closest, but I suggest that you turn what you have learned about others toward the self, seeking always the deeper reflection of self in all you meet.

For instance, rather than wallow in your discoveries of self, truly learn from them. If you are bound in repetitive behaviors and you have learned this truth of self, then fully embrace that this is true. Look upon this self with compassion and understanding, as you might have for another, and then do something with this truth.

Electing to change will bring you to a new life. Electing to accept the self as you truly are is the catalyst to change, for if you cannot accept your truths you are bound to repeat them until you do. Now note, I do not call your truths by negative terminology, such as faults or downfalls, and neither should you, but only what they are: truths of the self.

Can you allow yourself to be truthful? Can you be brutally honest with yourself? Can you allow for the facts of the self to be fully revealed to the self? With your truths made known, you will set yourself free to change, to move on, to utilize all the energy you now feel coursing through you, that is asking you to turn inward and continue your deep inner work. It is the only place to go.

Nothing outside of you can compare to what you hold within. This is true for each and every one of you. It does not matter where you are in your spiritual process; you are all equal because you must all face the self, the biggest challenge in a lifetime.

Allow your energy that is feeling renewal to remain in renewal. Even as you harvest your fruits plant new seeds, tending your gardens with future growth in mind. Prepare always for the next planting, for its sprouting time will come.

Set your intent as you set your seeds aside, as you bury the bulbs of spring bloom, and as you determine that you do indeed wish to continue growing, blooming, and developing creatively, spiritually, and personally, in the real world, but most deeply in your inner world.

Chuck's Blog

#709 Chuck’s Place: Bearing the Tension

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“I am obsessed with her, or him!”
“My loneliness is all-consuming.”
“My fear is paralyzing.”
“I am so angry I could burst!”
“I’m terrified of his/her anger.”
“I cannot accept what I have done; I hate myself!”
“I can’t get over what they have done to me.”
“I cannot stop crying, I’m so hurt.”
“I cannot bear to experience another memory.”
“My body is in such unbearable pain.”

The I Ching depicts the time of tension, inherent in each of these very real life circumstances, as the time of waiting. It offers the following counsel, but first a note of clarification. In The I Ching “the strong man” represents the masculine principle in both women and men. The strong man, the ego in us all, is confronted by the intense forces of nature within us that both nourish and deeply challenge our conscious stronghold.

Hexagram #5 Waiting: When clouds rise in the sky, it is a sign that it will rain. There is nothing to do but to wait until the rain falls… One is faced with a danger that has to be overcome. Weakness and impatience can do nothing. Only a strong man can stand up to his fate, for his inner security enables him to endure to the end. This strength shows itself in uncompromising truthfulness [with himself]. It is only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are, without any sort of self-deception or illusion, that a light will develop out of events by which the path to success may be recognized.

The bird sits upon its egg and broods, in the time of waiting. The bird cannot create life, but if it refuses to brood, to sit and wait patiently, new life will not emerge. The period of waiting, as the bird sits upon the egg, generates heat, a vital ingredient to the transformation from egg to chick. For humans, the time of waiting requires containment of our emotional state (our egg), which generates inner heat, the basis for new life. When we are confronted with seemingly insoluble problems—gripping emotions, beliefs, or obsessive projections—our ego cannot make them go away with some new formulaic spin.

True solution, resolution, new life will only emerge from a source beyond the ego. The ego must acquiesce to the feminine principle of waiting, the labor of bearing the tension, in consort with its masculine consciousness facing the absolute truths inherent in the forces of tension upon which it sits. The outcome of this time of waiting is the irrational process of deliverance to new life. I highlight the word irrational because deliverance is a function of nature, not ego. The rain comes when it’s ready. New life is a changed self, fully relieved of its prior state of tension.

We live in a time of the collective inflated ego. Science has become the rational One True God, master of creation and solver of all problems. The irrational forces of nature are studied and corrected by science, as it perfects nature’s random and haphazard processes. We can’t help but see the consequences of such hubris upon the earth, with the irrational forces of nature wreaking havoc upon it in the form of oil leaks, floods, earthquakes, etc.

On a more personal level, nature confronts the rational forces of consciousness with moods, gripping emotions, needs, irrational beliefs, and compulsive projections. These forces are the messengers of our souls. Some of these messengers are angels; some are demons. Regardless, they are all demanding something of us. If we refuse them acknowledgement through repression, denial, rationalization, or projection, they intensify their approach and, like the earth, disrupt our functioning through volcanic emotional eruptions or earthquakes where we break apart into fragments. No amount of ego solutions will quell these forces permanently. No amount of medications will obliterate these forces of nature. We must reconcile with our deeper nature.

Reconciliation requires the correct ego attitude. We can’t simply lie down and give up. Nature has no respect for such a regressive attitude. This approach will land us in the flood, but not on Noah’s ark! We must remain aboard our ark of consciousness amidst a sea of forces, unknowing of the outcome, bearing the tension, awaiting the sign of the dove that we have arrived at new life.

We must respect the power of the unconscious, as Noah respected God, knowing that its power is greater than our ego, yet it seeks reconciliation with us. Nature wants consciousness. It created us. We are part of it, but we must assume the right attitude toward it to further our evolutionary potential. Nature has the resolution to our problems in its womb, however, it will not lead us to land or birth a solution unless we stand up to it, face it, acknowledge it, and discover what it has to show us in full consciousness and truthfulness. This is the period of bearing the tension, which we must, of necessity, suffer the heat of.

If we can bear the tension without succumbing to illusion, without falling prey to one of the demon’s tales, nature ultimately will reward us with deliverance. But this is an irrational process where consciousness must willingly ride the waves, without interference, bearing the tension like Christ upon the cross or Buddha beneath the bodhi tree. If we attach to any illusion, for example, the big baby inner child, who can lure us into sadness and fixate us in an eternal hell of pain with the illusion of emotional catharsis, then we become the ego that cannot remain aboard the ark of consciousness. If, on the other hand, we can bear the tension of the pull of that inner child, but refuse to attach to its drama, that is, remain the adult bearing the tension without drowning in the sadness, a time will come when nature will pull back the energy of this burden and release us into new life with the potential for innocent fulfillment at a deeper level. This is genuine transformation, genuine change, new life.

In summary, if we seek to achieve genuine deep change, we must be willing to bear the tension, suffer the pulls of opposite forces coursing through our moods, thoughts, and projections. Bearing the tension means waiting; patiently remaining still amidst the torment of intense emotions that seek release through acting out, giving up, or some form of ego spin on reality. However, waiting also requires standing up to all the truths that are presented while we wait.

And then, ultimately, nature, that non-rational force, will intervene: the clouds will release the rains, the chick will be born, the ark will land—new life through transformation. Such is the fruit of the time of bearing the tension.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck