Today, a Warrior (Jeanne’s term) asks a question.

Dear Jeanne,
My question is, what in my evolutionary path would choose incest and molestation as a path to enlightenment? I have moved past many of the obstacles that these experiences presented and am proud of my success. I have been able to be present and offer comfort to other children, now adults, as they struggle with a similar past. I have used this experience to inspire me in my creative work. I have learned the power and purpose of forgiveness. Those experiences have blessed me in many ways. There is one last place that still holds the memories of that time and those experiences, and that place is my body. It holds many memories of the effects of this past, and I am challenged by how to let this go, and transform those places in my body that still remember and react.
Thank you.

My Dearest Reader, you have chosen to live the warrior’s path. Your journey began before your experiences presented themselves in this life. Your souls’ choices have given you the opportunity to far exceed expectations for growth. It sounds like your path has been one of extreme ability to conquer and move on.

The choice to elect such a path is the opportunity for a great leap forward, an evolutionary leap. The opportunity to transcend all the trappings of that world, and to be given the gift of knowing at an early age, is deeply hidden behind those experiences. Inside your body remain still many of those experiences, as yet unrecapitulated. And this is the next step you must take in order to complete your journey. For without total recapitulation, acceptance, and acquiescence to the facts of your journey thus far taken, will you remain unfulfilled.

To seek physical release is perhaps the most difficult aspect of the recapitulation process, for the body holds memory without words, without thoughts, and without purpose, except as reaction, and as reminder that your work is not done. Completion of the inner work must involve all that is hidden, ingrained, and automatic, the long lasting effects of your early childhood trauma.

But awareness of the memories, as tied to the physical body, must also be released. Have you moved past your memories with true recapitulation? Or have you left them behind, suitcases littering the path behind you, dusty and unopened? This is the challenge the body presents, and it does so when you least expect it because it knows that you are so guarded and aware in normal circumstances. Your body is telling you that you are not done yet. It is telling you that it still holds, deeply hidden, in quiet pockets, remnants of your past. Release of all memory; emptying of all pockets; scraping, and digging, and rinsing clean of all old discarded memories must be done in order for this process to be complete.

Can you accept your journey as a gift? Can you accept your self as a child warrior, steadily and forcefully marching into life with a mission to grow? Your earliest years, and your youth was peppered with the challenges of a lifetime, yet are such early beginnings full of lessons and abilities. You were deep in training from a young age. When most other children are being loved, protected, and nurtured, you were being presented with the tools of an evolutionary being. Have you not been given the opportunity to live a spiritual life, full of deep inner knowing of this aspect of your self?

Your treasures of this training lie deep in the folds and sinews of your body. Your enlightenment remains guarded and unfulfilled as you protect still the inner child. Yet does that inner child know that all your experiences where meaningful aspects of a journey well-taken for completion to become a reality. Do you choose to continue toward completion now, with that inner child in the forefront, safely past the years of trauma, yet stronger and more fiercely aware? Does that inner child not require release from your body, along with the pain that remains to remind you that it still waits for the work to be done?

I do not talk of rescue. I do not speak of coddling the big baby inside you. I speak only of understanding such a journey, horrific as it is, as an evolutionary one. What young child would choose such a journey? None would, of course; but your spirit chose it for evolutionary purposes, and that is what your spirit still intends. Pay attention to the experiences now as lessons in detachment, as tools of awareness, as well-planned examinations that enabled you to learn many skills that others struggle to understand long into adulthood. I speak of the abilities that such trauma presents in the form of out of body experience, clarity of knowing, and the ability to perceive and be aware in a heightened manner. Heightened awareness is one of the most important aspects of an evolutionary being, and I can guarantee that you learned this at an early age.

So My Dear Reader, you did choose such a journey. You did experience such early trauma, disappointment, and devastation for reasons of evolutionary growth; and it is a very good choice to have made, for such a journey is chock-full of good teachings. Your teachers were hell-bent on making you learn your lessons, aiding you in your growth. Did you do a good job as you struggled and grew? Your adulthood would speak volumes of praise for a journey well-taken. But in order to complete it, and continue your evolutionary journey, must you find out what your body still holds for you to discover. Take your innocent child self with you now, on a new exploration. Allow that child, the one who so bravely took that journey, to lead you back to where you need to go. Allow that warrior child to show you how it learned the lessons being taught, what they meant then, and what they mean now as you accept your path as a truly evolutionary one.

This child self knows everything. Not one iota of experience is forgotten, or misplaced; nor is that child traumatized. It is simply waiting for you, the adult, to understand that every aspect of your life thus far lived has been, and continues to be, preparation for learning what it means to be an evolutionary being, but most importantly an energy being.

March onward now. Put that child self upon your shoulders, and re-discover your innocence, but also your warrior child self. And the two of you take the recapitulation journey now, with a new perspective firmly in your knowing. And find your body, so that together you may live in it, a whole being, merged in the physical, and then will you have greater access to your whole energy being as well.

You are learning what it means to be an energy being. That is what your entire life is about, your story incomplete until you merge fully with your child self in full recapitulation and knowing of self in this manner. Your body is your vehicle through this life. It desires full participation and release, and it will continue to tell you this until you take care of what it is trying to alert you to. It asks for completion of that early journey in order to be released forward to new life, still to come. For the body desires life too, and that is what it is asking for. Give it life!

Today, a Journeyer asks a question.

Dear Jeanne,
You recently asked us if we were prepared to go alone, as that seems to be a choice that we need to make in deciding to evolve further. My dilemma is that now as I do more and more inner work, I realize the importance of learning detachment, especially for evolutionary growth, but as much as I try to understand detachment, it still seems to conflict with my long held desire to connect. How is it that we have chosen to live here in the physical form with our many needs and desires, in a culture that promotes relationships, when our true journey is a “solo” one? Could you please explain this further?
Thank you for your guidance,
A Journeyer

My Dear Journeyer, when I speak of your journey as being a solo one, I speak of the inner journey, for no one else can take that journey, nor can they fully grasp the meaningfulness of it. That is up to you to discover and grow from. A journey that is piggybacking upon that of another is not a truly fulfilled inner journey. I do not imply by my directive to “go it alone” that you are to sever all ties with others in your life, nor am I suggesting that you do not seek a truly resonant being to explore intimacy and relationship with on a greater, deeper, soul-fulfilling level. For all must live within the confines of that earthly existence and experience all aspects of what it offers in order to evolve. As I have spoken of often, balance is the key. Moderation, avoidance of excess, and denial of nothing that the physical self must undertake in order to complete the mission of that lifetime upon that Earth, are necessary.

But keep in mind, at all times, that in order to truly accomplish that lifetime mission, must you do the inner work. By doing the inner work will you eventually discover the meaning of your life. You will find your place there, in balance with all that is offered. You will succeed in being an ever-evolving being, if you truly do complete the inner tasks that are constantly being presented to you.

You must live there, in that physical form, in order to evolve. Earth is level one of existence. Do you enjoy your life there so much that you wish to return, with a new set of directives, a new set of challenges? If so, then that is your choice, and that is fine. Except that with such a backlog of souls awaiting entry, and so relatively few evolving, will you have to perhaps wait a long time to return.

Or, on the other hand, are you ready to move beyond that first level of awareness, beyond the veils of illusion, and discover what else exists in life, in true life? For your time upon that Earth is not a true life, as an energy being, until of course you discover this aspect of the self. Then is it a life that is truly worth living. That awareness of energy, of being an energy being, that many of you are achieving is filled with eagerness and awareness of the possibilities beyond the confines of Earth, confines that do not exist at other levels.

To achieve wholeness now is quite an opportunity, and it is what my mission is directed at. My group seeks to aid you in this growth to wholeness, through the confines of your Earthly existence, and teach you how to achieve awareness and clarity, so that as you pass beyond that level so can you choose evolution as your next solution, rather than return to life upon the Earth and do, once again, the confusing task of deciphering what is real and what is not real.

With the clarity you have thus far gained, are you not intrigued with the proposals I make to go on the solo journey into the self? This is the solo journey I speak of, and it is essential that you discover who you truly are in order to grow and evolve.

I can assure you that it is quite a wonderful choice to make. I am certainly enjoying my life as an energy being! This I offer to You Journeyers: Do not get lost in self-sorrow or self-pity, and do not stay lost in the veils imposed on you by the confines of Earth and those who are considered “in the know.” For there is much that they do not know about you, or anyone else for that matter.

This is a journey of experience, and as I said yesterday, experience will lead you where you need to go. Seek balance within your physical life upon that Earth, daring to live it to the fullest, doing what the spirit knows is right to do. And then, get balanced on the inside by doing your inner work, solving your inner puzzle. By so doing will you discover that your outer world will also neatly, and succinctly fall into place, a complete picture of an evolutionary being.

But you must drop your fears. You must be open to possibility, and you must truly desire to evolve for your solo journey to be truly embraced and accepted as a most important aspect of your time upon that Earth. Where do you stand My Fellow Travelers, ready to take the inner journey? We await your completion, and we await your calls for help along the way. You are only going into the self, looking for the true self, the one who elected to take that journey, the one who knows all. Do you dare go diving in to seek the truth? It will set you free from everything that now holds you captive. And a very nice evolutionary journey is in store for you. Don’t doubt it.

This is enough for today. Stop pondering so much, My Dear Ones, and do the work. With so many questions being asked all the time do you simply read, and read, and read and try to understand. But you will never truly understand until you take the journey, fully embracing your own experiences, and reliving them as truth of the self. Only then will you be aware of your future upon that Earth, and ready for your new self as a being comprised of energy, unlimited energy. That is what awaits!

Seek wholeness. Seek clarity now, in an evolutionary way, unafraid and daring your self to go inside and meet the real you who has been waiting, and waiting, and waiting for you to come back and discover who you truly are. Now that would be quite an encounter! Who are you really?

Today, an anonymous reader asks a question.

Dear Jeanne,
Can you speak to us of shame, how to lift the veil? I refer to that core experience of exposure, which leads the innocent self into such deep retreat, perhaps for a lifetime, where defenses are so deeply ingrained and automatic. How can we truly retire shame, and retrieve our innocence, in a ruthless world upheld by judgments?
Thank you.

Shame does come from outside influences, as you pose in your question, My Dear Reader. For the innocent one does not know shame as a vital aspect of the self, but has it imposed upon it, from the time of birth into that world, by the teachings of others far more experienced in the ways of the fervent and righteous ones.

Does the innocent child elect to feel shame or to bury its trauma under that veil? I do not believe that the truly innocent child has any idea that such an aspect of life exists until that veil is pulled over the eyes, and then the hidden quality is safe from all eyes, including the eyes of the self. The darkness that is attached to shame is rooted so deeply in the constructs of that world that many spend a lifetime unearthing the true self from beneath those strict codes of conduct that really have nothing to do with evolution.

I suggest a new perspective on life, and reasons for life upon that Earth, as the true means of lifting the veil of shame, and all other veils as well. The veils, if I may diverge for a moment, did not exist in your knowing, your innocence, until you entered life upon that Earth and came upon them because someone told you they were there. Veils of shame, of abandonment, of defeat on the road to growth do not exist except in your mind. Your everyday construct of reality was laid out for you step by step as you grew from a child to an adult.

But what young child knows of such things? The parents, the teachers, the religions, the governments, the commercial profiteers, and the fellow travelers you meet along the way, all present, and have presented to the child, the innocent pure you, all the veils you have encountered. If you had grown up with no veils though, what would you have learned? What would you have been presented with to aid you in your growth? Some other challenge would have been imposed upon you in order to allow for the opportunity to evolve.

So My Dearest Reader, your question of shame, and how to evolve from it, and retrieve your innocent self requires a total dismantling of the veils. As always, I suggest recapitulation of your own life, but I also suggest a total deconstructing of the things you have been taught by others that you know, within your center, are not truths that lead to evolutionary growth.

Go back to your firstborn innocence, your naked, pure, and truly whole self. In one sense, is a tiny baby unable to care for itself against the vagaries of life, unable to feed, or clothe, or act in any manner without help, yet is this baby also a being full of knowledge, of evolution, ready again to tackle the lessons of life, fully aware of its new place, its new beginning and its promise of growth. It throws itself, once again, into life, ready to take on the veils that will inevitably be imposed, yet mindful that, this time is there awareness to maintain as the journey is taken. It attempts to hold on to memories of what it knows, through those first years.

But, as all of you have experienced, is that a most difficult process, and few maintain their hold on such knowing. It sleeps, that knowing; gradually falling into a slumber, a knowing that lies in drowsy reverie for many years. Occasionally does it wake up, startled, and screams its knowingness in order to correct the direction or the path being taken. But, mostly it remains in the deeply buried state of darkness that most of you experience, until the time is right and ripe for it to re-emerge.

As the child self grows and is tended to, so does it absorb and clothe itself with the trappings of that world, that new reality it has entered. And it engages in all aspects of life, eager for the challenges of the veils described and taught by others. Its energetic truth, and the qualities of inner knowing, become but distant memory as life and ego grow together.

So to return to the veil of shame, it is but one imposed by others; yet does it serve a great purpose in life, as do all the veils of challenge, untruths though they may be. Find in your inner self your own veils of shame, and discover who put them there. Who imposed them? Who sewed them so tightly woven, and so tightly shut that no light of innocence could seep in and offer doubts about the darkness, depression, and despair that they presented? Did your innocent child self do such things?

On the other hand, did your own child self, in all innocence, give you the task that led to such shame? To that can I answer a mighty, YES! For that was your learning ground! Do you choose to learn only about the shame that was imposed upon you? Or do you choose to go deeper, behind the dark veil, and learn the truth of the innocent self, the reason for your process, and why you were given such a shame-bearing task in your innocence? Your innocent child was ready to take on the task, but your teachers were only your guides and your mentors, as they pulled down the veils, labeled darkly with the words of: SHAME! Shame on you! You should know better! You deserve punishment for your despicable acts, your bad behavior, and your lies and falsehoods!

Those dark veils do hide your innocence and your truths. They do keep you from your inner knowing and the releasing qualities that you do hold within. During your recapitulation must you go behind the veils, behind the judgments of others, behind the long held beliefs, and retire those blockages before you retire shame, or any other idea, whether self-imposed, or laid upon your by others and accepted as truth. What is the truth? That is the underlying question to ask in order to truly find your innocence, retrieve it, and bring it out into your new world that is free of veils, and blurry vision, and unclear ideas of the self. Your understanding of energy now may aid you in this process. For as an energetic being are you fully capable of attaining your truth, your innocence, and pushing aside all the veils, for you will see them as such now, and you will be eager to see what has been hidden from you all these years. Most likely, you will discover only what your innocent child self knew immediately, yet was not allowed to hold on to: that your experiences in life were just that, experiences! And how do you learn and grow? By having experiences, of course! And what are experiences? They are your lessons, taught by your greatest teachers and those who push you toward your evolutionary potential.

So, do you elect to take the path that leads you to those veils that have held you in blindness, and shame, and all the other ideas of the self? Do you elect to swipe them aside, and see what is hidden behind them? Your wholeness awaits! Retrieval of your innocence is waiting for you to return and discover that it has been growing and learning with you, at every step of your journey. Yet does it still remember the reason for this journey, holding onto the memories that you are an evolutionary being, and why you are taking this journey through life on this Earth yet again. It knows how to help you remove all the veils, and find your true potential, and your true place upon that Earth as an energy being, swiftly pushing aside the veils and going forward now, accepting life as it comes; flowing and growing, finding your truths at every twist and turn of that life you have chosen to take. Your innocence remembers! Go there in order to understand why you are here, and why you have been surrounded with such veils of lessons and disguise.

Do your recapitulation now with the knowing of your energy, of your self as an energy being, comprised of magnificent pure energy, and see what happens as you take on the dismantling of your life. You are energy! And every aspect of your life is comprised of energy. Find your true reality, and then proceed from there into your new life. It awaits!