Tag Archives: petty tyrants

#689 Chuck’s Place: The Ego Ideal & The Veil of Self-importance

Over one hundred years ago, Sigmund Freud introduced the concept of the superego, an internalized component of the human personality, the product of socialization, which both judges and tells us what we ought to be. This what-we-ought-to-be component has become known as the ego ideal, the ideal image of the self that we expect ourselves to become. Our ego ideal dictates our notion of success: what our bodies should look like, what our skills and abilities should be, how others should view us, what level of education we should have, what kinds of relationships we should be in, how many worldly goods we should accumulate, how well we should be able to meditate, etc.

How well we do at actualizing our ego ideal becomes the basis of our sense of self-worth. Our judgment of personal success or failure rides upon how well our actual life “measures up” to our idealized expectation. If we are “on course” we “feel good.” If we don’t “measure up” we may judge ourselves to be “failures,” sentencing ourselves to an emotional state of deflation, experienced as depression. Alternatively, we might inflate our ego, assuming the persona, or mask, of our ego ideal. In fact, our ego might be capable of truly convincing itself and others that this is, indeed, its true identity. This might result in grandiosity, or attempting deeds way beyond one’s true ability. This is when we can expect dreams warning us of falling off a steep precipice or being in a plane crash, etc., all signs of the dangers of inflation.

In the psychiatric diagnostic world this dilemma of ego inflation and deflation, with its possible swings, is described in variations of bipolar disorder. Psychoanalytic resolution of the ego/ego ideal relationship ultimately rests upon an acceptance of ourselves as we truly are, for what we are truly capable of, which may only in part, or not at all, reflect the internalized ego ideal. Successful treatment would result in a more realistic modification of the ego ideal to fit the ego’s true capacities. Nonetheless, even with this modified self-judgment we continue to live in an internalized paradigm fixated on self.

The seers of ancient Mexico would definitely concur with Freud about the profound impact of socialization upon our perception and interpretation of ourselves and our world. For these seers, our awareness is staunchly fixated upon the self, causing all our available energy to be monopolized by self-importance, whether it be in the form of self-worth, self-esteem, or self-pity. For these seers this fixation of awareness on the self creates veils, which narrow our ability to perceive and experience all there is to see, for instance, a world of energy, the true nature of reality. For these seers, most human beings live and die in a world of self-obsession that shuts us out from reaching our true potential. That potential is not measured as some form of a socialized ego ideal. That potential is simply the freedom to perceive, unencumbered by the self, which spends all its energy worrying about how well it is doing, or what it is entitled to.

These seers discovered that the number one key to unlocking the true potential of the self, to discover total freedom, is to embrace an enduring practice of suspending judgment. This orientation asks that we seek always to know the truth, without any consideration of the value of the self for its performance. For instance, if I made a decision, took an action, that resulted in an undesired outcome, my goal would be to examine the full truth of that process with a detached curiosity and quest for understanding. I might discover that I had forgotten some important detail or acted hastily, causing the “failure.” However, the “failure” would not extend to myself as some kind of measure of my worth or as something for me to feel bad about. This does not negate the absolute examination of my level of competence and how that might inform me in future actions, but it, in no way, is attached to my value or level of self-importance.

For these seers this is the critical point: to avoid constructing a definition of self based on competence and performance. These seers indeed seek to be impeccable in all of their actions; however, they attach no significance in terms of self-worth to the outcome of those actions other than knowing the truth of them. They seek to totally eradicate the self; the self too is a veil blocking total freedom. To eradicate the self, from the seers’ point of view, means freeing the self of the encumbrance of self-importance, becoming a being free to perceive what is. In this manner they accrue valuable energy for expanded perception, rather than spend it on the construction of the self, with its all-consuming self-importance. In the process of constantly shooing away self-importance, we are in fact working on the ego, which becomes a tool to actualize our true potential. This is one reason why the seers place so much value on the petty tyrants in our lives. Petty tyrants are beings who challenge our attachment to our self-importance to the max, and offer us the opportunity to arrive at the ability to laugh at ourselves, rather than get caught in the clutches of victimhood or the fixation of self-pity.

For the seers of ancient Mexico, if we never “achieve” anything in this world other than the ability to suspend judgment, we have indeed achieved the most important thing there is to achieve in this world. Suspending judgement allows us to break the fixation of self-importance, dismantling Freud’s ego ideal, which opens the gateway to expanded knowing and infinite possibility.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

#675 Chuck’s Place: The Spirit & The Flesh

In recent weeks I have explored, from the shamanic perspective, the role of the petty tyrant in preparation for the definitive journey at death. As reactions to these blogs demonstrate, it is extremely challenging to fathom anything positive emerging from such horrific encounters with pure evil as the Holocaust or a personal holocaust of childhood sexual abuse. As a clinician, I have spent much of my professional career questioning how an adult could sexually violate a helpless child. The very idea of such an interaction is so devastating, repulsive, abhorrent, and painful that we quickly turn away from even allowing such an image to present itself in our mind’s eye. Is it no wonder that the world’s conscience has remained dormant, as denial has prevailed well into our modern age, refusing to acknowledge the reality of a worldwide epidemic of childhood sexual abuse?

In my personal quest for understanding, and as I have accompanied many clients through their journeys of recovery, I have learned much about the underlying psychology contributing to the psychopathic behaviors of perpetrators. This understanding, however valid, is still limited to a focus on the individual perpetrator, his or her individual life and individual history. This focus does not allow for the broader view, the fact that we are all part of an interconnected whole. How could it be that a massive worldwide phenomenon of childhood sexual abuse could have such a prominent role in the life of the interconnected unit we call the human race? Every individual who commits an act of sexual abuse is responsible for his or her behavior, end of story. No excuses. However, is it not time for the human race to examine itself and question how such an aberration could be part of our interconnected whole? Is it not the responsibility of the human race to address its own shadow?

This collective issue appears ripe for discussion as the reality of sexual abuse has now stained the hands of, for Catholics, God’s #1 representative on earth: The Pope. The Catholic Church, like most institutions, has denied, minimized, or turned a blind eye, for centuries, to the large-scale sexual exploitation of children by its priests. It has taken our modern age, with its unrelenting waves of information, to finally topple the Vatican’s solidly built wall of denial. As significant as this process of acknowledging the truth is, I wish to focus instead on the aberrant solution of the dilemma of the spirit and the flesh in these abusing priests: the ultimate “spiritual” representatives on the one hand now revealed as the ultimate “physical” violators.

The Catholic religion has been the major religion to insist upon celibacy for its priests. This absolute separation of spirit from flesh presupposes some kind of tenable reconciliation of spirit and matter; meaning, in effect, that the completely repressed sexual side of a human being could be transformed and brought into balance with the spiritual side. I don’t doubt that this transformation can take place; in fact, celibacy is a central feature of the shaman’s world. However, it is obvious that for the Catholic Church it has failed miserably for many of its ordained priests, resulting in a backlash of ravenous, blind, instinctual exploitation of innocent children.

In a book entitled, The Myth of Meaning, Aniela Jaffe, analyst, editor and Jung’s personal secretary writes:

Because the primitive is so close to nature, the meaning of his myths gives him a sense of security. Everything he does, everything he experiences, is intimately connected with the cosmos, with the stars and the wind, with sacred animals and gods. Modern man, with his incomparably more differentiated consciousness, has lost touch with nature both without and within, with his psychic images and therefore with meaning. He is one-sided, and he goes on developing one-sidedly along the path of intellectual differentiation. The primitive child of nature, who yet dwells within him, was repressed, consequently it degenerated and from time to time goes berserk and turns him into a pitiless barbarian. Contact with the unconscious, which heals and makes whole, restores the connection with his origin, with the source of psychic images. This is not a reversion to barbarism, but regeneration through a renewed and conscious relationship with a living spirit buried in the unconscious. Every step forward on the way to individuation is at the same time a step backwards into the past, into the mysteries of one’s own nature.” (p. 148-9)

Herein lies the crux of the problem, I believe, for our interconnected human race, which the Catholic dilemma serves so well to illustrate. We are all children of nature; animalistic, primitive and deeply instinctual, whether we acknowledge or experience it consciously. But, we have become so one-sided, as Jaffe states, in our intellectual, rational, scientific, mental, technological, interneted-friended-texted-facebooked selves, that we have divorced ourselves from our own true human nature, which is non-rational, instinctual, physical and yes, primitive and animalistic. This worldwide dissociation from our instinctual selves, this lack of integration and reconciliation with our mental/spiritual selves, has created a ravaging, feelingless ferocious beast in our human race, which strikes back as the predator who preys upon the innocent. Even animals in their predatory behaviors do not come near the cruelty of the rabid human animal in its predatory revenge for its exclusion from the true human equation.

I am proposing that, from a human-racial perspective, the psychopathic manifestation of sexual abuse is a ruthless compensation by our inner nature to level our spiritual one-sidedness with instinctual devastation, so aptly illustrated by the abuser priest. This type of compensatory balance is unacceptable and is finally being made available to the world’s conscience. Perpetrators must be exposed and held fully accountable. However, as a race, we humans are responsible for taking back the night, not just in an outer sense of physical safety, but in an inner claiming and reconciliation with our own irrational, instinctual shadow natures. As Jaffe points out, reconciling with our instinctual nature is not a reversion to barbarism, but a “regeneration through a renewed and conscious relationship with a living spirit buried in the unconscious.” We must make contact with our instinctual natures and take up the challenge of integrating our instinctual selves into our modern lives in a healthy balance. Furthermore, we must have the moral courage to face the feelings and images of our animalistic selves. We have consciousness and the ability to choose how these impulses are understood and lived. The fact that we have feelings, impulses, and desires, which run counter to our moral and ethical code, does not make us pathological. Too often we are so disturbed by the occurrence of an unacceptable thought or impulse that we immediately repress it or see ourselves as somehow deviant. If we can suspend judgment and look upon the products of our inner nature with a curiosity and quest for understanding we will discover what nature is truly trying to show us. If we deny our natural, primitive side, we create the conditions of impoverishment that can force nature to violent extremes.

Nature, from this viewpoint, will not be denied without serious consequences. To sleep, to dream, to face our deepest unconscious selves, embracing our wholeness, is the individual and human challenge in order to achieve ultimate balance and reconciliation of the spirit and the flesh.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck

# 673 Chuck’s Place: Thank You Petty Tyrants!

Why are we here? One thing is certain: our time is limited. Our life here is only a visit. In the end, we must leave on what the shamans of ancient Mexico call, our definitive journey.

Unlike other journeys we may take in this world, in preparation for our definitive journey there are no bags to pack and only one appointment to keep, our appointment with death. At that appointment we are required to relinquish our bodies and our attachment to all things material as we enter the unknown in pure energetic form.

Throughout their physical lives shamans enter their energy bodies and take journeys into infinity. Upon returning they report that, though they discover amazing things on these journeys, the true preparation for facing the unknown is in this world, in the form of our encounters with petty tyrants. One major reason for our being in this world is, as I see it, to encounter and master our petty tyrants, the true proving ground for our definitive journey in infinity upon dying.

Petty tyrants can be defined as anything in this world that interrupts or shatters our expectations. Examples may include a crying baby that won’t allow us to sleep, a defiant teenager, an unloving parent, an exploitive boss, a ruthless ex-spouse, a rejecting lover, a condescending partner, a prejudiced teacher, a violent psychopath who physically or sexually abuses, etc. Petty tyrants can also come in the form of natural or unnatural disasters such as earthquakes and wars. In fact, the examples are endless and range from annoying everyday interactions to traumatic experiences. Petty tyrants are not fair, they don’t play by the rules; they devastate us, they use and abuse us, they take what they want, they destroy what they want. Our experiences of petty tyrants force us to relinquish our expectations of common decency, respect, love, or basic entitlements. Although these expectations may be our preferences in this world, they are, by far, not the true nature of reality, which is unpredictable. When faced with a petty tyrant we are thrust into a completely unpredictable, uncontrollable reality where anything can happen, anything goes.

Shamans say that our encounters with petty tyrants provide us with the necessary training to face the true nature of energetic reality; this is our destiny, this is why we are here. Energetic reality is fluid, ever changing. To maintain cohesion in energetic reality we must be able to flow without requirements, that is, preconceived expectations. Petty tyrants force us out of our world into the unknown. If we refuse to accept the unknown and choose instead to cling to our expectations of reality then we are not prepared for our definitive journey. If we insist upon a world that conforms to our expectations, we are not ready to enter the unknown. The Buddhists point out that if we cannot detach from our expectations upon dying, we must re-materialize; that is, reincarnate in the material world for more classes on detachment, with our petty tyrants as teachers. In fact, petty tyrants are our greatest teachers in this world.

The process of mastering our petty tyrants requires that we recapitulate. In recapitulation we face, squarely, all our experiences in life, releasing any attachment to them in the form of anger, resentment, fear, regret, hatred, sadness, self-pity, etc. Staying attached to unfairness, for example, would keep us attached to a predictable world that follows the rules. As long as we hold to the position that we are undeserving of the petty tyrants in our lives we remain deeply attached to creating our own world, a world of illusions, what the Buddhists call maya. Through recapitulation we arrive at a place of complete neutrality toward all our petty tyrants. We let go of any sense of being special or deserving of anything, we simply accept all the experiences in our lives as part of the journey, without judgment. Experiences are simply facts, they happened. With recapitulation we are released to completely let them go, with appreciation for lessons learned. We arrive at a place of readiness to enter an unpredictable world, our tyrants having prepared us well!

When we arrive at the place of utter neutrality, what the shamans call the place of no pity, we are offered the opportunity to thank our petty tyrants for journeying with us and preparing us for our final appointment with death, as we embark upon our definitive journey in infinity.

If you wish to correspond, please feel free to post a comment below.

Until we meet again,
Chuck