Today’s question is asked by a Reader.

Dear Jeanne,
How can I “wake up” when depression really pulls on my desire to go to sleep? I seem to have taken on some challenging lessons for this life. Although I think I have worked through many layers, old feelings of being unseen, and beliefs of worthlessness still seem to run decisions and actions I make now. I have had insomnia for three years. I feel very cut off from my intuition and “feelings” that I have used as a compass for moving in a positive direction at other times in my life. I want to heal my past wounds and really live differently. I also feel just plain weary and lost many times. I lose my desire to try.

My Dearest Reader and Journeyer, you have all the information about your self and know what your challenges are. Now must you remove the heaviness, the 300-pound weight that resides, hovering above you, holding you tightly down, resident in Earth’s heavy layers of iniquity. Your challenges are not insurmountable, but a path is clearly laid before you and step-by-step must your recapitulation be undertaken. For only in full recapitulation will you be released from that layer of heavy darkness that does now hold you in its soporific sleep, though it is the sleep of the restless insomniac. This is a state of wakeful slumber that holds within its numbness all the clues to who you are, how you got there, and where to go next.

First must full recapitulation be attempted. This means to bravely go in to your past, those challenging lessons that you mention, and tackle them now with awareness that they are part of you forever, but they do not need to hold you bound to them. Recapitulation allows for new perspective, release from old ideas of the self, and progress in changing the self-image, but even more deeply the self-substructure.

And that leads to the second challenge. You must begin now to shift your inner thoughts about the self. Shift from negative thinking to positive thinking. Every time you use a negative phrase of description, immediately shift it to a positive, growth-oriented aspect of the self, of your situation, your feelings, and your inner connection.

Your third challenge is to accept responsibility for your past, your present, and your future. This absolutely ties in to the first two challenges. For only in becoming fully present now, fully aware of your own power to change, and fully taking on the aspects of the self that seek to sabotage your growth, will you evolve.

To change now your inner thinking, your outer perceptions of the self, and allow your past to be observed from a new perspective, will release your energy from all that holds it tightly captive. For that is what you describe in your question. Your energy is held captive in pockets of your past, in your feelings of old, causing an inability to urge your self into a place of intuition and awareness.

Your waking self is already asking you to participate now in life in a different manner so that your true energy, your own energy may be released, returned to you, and allowed to grow ever more vibrant as you do the work on the self. Your inner work is challenging, but it is not insurmountable, nor is it too far distant. It is right in front of you.

Put aside now your fears that you are stuck. No one is truly stuck, except in the past ideas of the self, the past habits that have been promulgated all these years, useful, but now old and boring. You are full of desire to change, to shift, and to regain your own energy.

I must confront you blatantly with the feelings of self-pity that I detect lie in wait to sabotage you on a daily basis. I detect a desire to reconnect with your inner knowing self, but a fear that if you do so you will have to become responsible. You will have to confront many changes.

Oh My Dear One, this is truth knocking at your door, but it is not knocking at the old door. It is knocking at the new door. And once you open that new door, will a new light shine upon you. And this new light will reveal your truths, the other hidden truths that you already know exist inside you, yet have you neglected them.

Begin each day by saying this mantra to your self:

I open the door to my inner self.
I reveal the light within.
I am guided by this new light,
Leading me to discover my gold.
I am gold. I am light.
I am an inner energy being.

Find your inner gold, My Dear One. You have it within. It shines brightly and it asks you to dig deeply for it. It is full of beauty, energy; and your true life sits upon its weighty stack, calling to you, “Come and find me, so that we can have a true life of meaning together; full of energy, of light, and of eagerness for life to continue, with joy and happiness at every step, no matter what our challenges may be.”

Open that new door today, My Dear Reader. Allow your inner light to be revealed to you once again. You will recognize it, feel its resonance. And even though you may wish to fall back into your old darkness, so must you push your self to reach out, with positive words of intent to grow now. Grow with the inner gold that shines, pointing the way. Grow with every challenge, as you look upon your life and your journey differently; laid out for you now with energy awaiting recapture; truths awaiting revelation; and your awareness awaiting your recognition.

Taste it; taste your life just waiting for you now. Put aside everything you have used to just get through your days. This is a new day; a new door is opening. Your golden door, with your inner gold awaits.

Rekindle your inner self with new thoughts, actions, and deeds; dismissing every old thought, action, and deed as it arises, replacing it with new positive, responsible, and thoroughly evolutionary ideas of the self.

Let me know how you are doing. Ask for help at any time. I await your beckoning call. I tell you now, and I tell you all the time, I am right here to aid you. Wake up, My Dear One, My Sleepy Sleepless One, Wake Up!

Today’s question is asked by a Reader.

Dear Jeanne,
Within the last several months, I have been on an incredible adventure that started when a very dear friend died. She has been guiding me since, which in the beginning I was a little resistant to, but once I started to flow with it, many wonderful things started to happen and, as a result, I have been able to tackle many, many issues that in the past were insurmountable. She has also led me into a relationship that has forever changed my view on love and what being in a “relationship” is all about. Letting go, trusting, and flowing with the signs that are presented, have been some of the greatest challenges I have faced, but it seems that the more I trust, the more I am available. When I stop and think about this, it seems so unbelievable, but my experiences have proven over and over again that it is real. I am constantly in awe, but at the same time I also wonder, how does this happen, how does my friend so cleverly interact with me, sometimes in ways that I don’t see at first, but know later to be her “working”? Recently, I felt her energy move inside me, merging with mine, and for just a brief few moments, I was conscious of this happening and allowed her to use my physical body to connect and touch someone that she loves very much here on Earth. The most amazing thing is that I was not afraid or fearful; it was with complete trust. Her loved one immediately felt something, but not knowing exactly what had transpired, asked, “What just happened here?” How does this happen? How did she do this and why?
Thank you for your wonderful guidance.

Mergence of energy is possible through purpose of intent. This I speak of often, but you, My Dear Reader, have actually experienced this. I have also spoken of this as pertains to evil intent, and perhaps that is more understood or believable to consider; that yes, evil intent exists and takes possession of the unaware and the available. But likewise, those of us who work on the side of light and good have such strong connection, as you do with your friend, and she with you, similar to that which binds Jan and I. Your friend’s purpose of intent is to connect with you, and to teach you what it means to be an energy being. This is what Jan and I have worked together on these many years. I do not exclude My Loving Chuck from this description because he too is part of this mergence and has had valuable experiences as well. But I will speak today on the direct experience that you My Reader are having, as the female channel in this case.

You have, through your trust and experiences of this good being of light, now gotten to such a place of awareness that transmogrification* (see note below) can take place, with full participation on your part, with the ability for her to give energetic experience to her loved ones through you. This is energy working its wonders in you, and with your permission, because you are resonant energy; available, trusting, and in the position to offer not only your physical presence there on Earth, but also your place of trust and love with another human being. Both you and the receiver of the experience are available.

Even your own energetic intent can travel and change in such a fashion. Energy is viable. It is free to move outside of the physical confines of the body. This is what we have been talking about. It exists separately, yet does it stay within your body until you learn that it is possible to use it in other manners as well, beyond the body.

An out of body experience has been exhibited to you, but the mergence of energy has also been shown. I’m sure you would not have felt so good about a mergence if the energy was not so resonant, and if you had not been so trusting. This is a good example of learning to trust your guides, learning how they work, and learning what your own energy is like. You are fully capable of sending your own energy outward in similar fashion.

Such activity is based on the fact that we are all comprised of energy. Even though we no longer reside in human form, so are we (your friend and I, and many others in this evolved state) still active and alive in our energy bodies. You have now been trained by her, in a process of growth, based on knowing trust of her good intent, with your own reciprocal agreement to learn and evolve. You set your own intent to grow a long time ago. You became ready to finally have meaningful experiences, and she was an available teacher. Now is there connection, available and vibrant connection of energy that offers the opportunity for more energetic work to transpire.

So, you had an energy experience, My Dear! You have been granted this experience because you were ready for it. You were in a position to have it, share it, and now understand it and continue growing with it. This is what I speak of when I say that all have this ability to connect, this innate ability to comprehend what it means to be comprised of energy, to have access to your energy body, and to have experiences of such energy in action.

Do not look now to make this happen. Allow such energetic intent to become a natural aspect of your discovering of life as energy, and your further awakening to feeling what resonance means; what love, compassion, and relationship truly mean in a world that may at times seem to have little spiritual experience to offer. These are the anchors in your evolutionary growth that are being offered to you, as you continue your work on the self, your inner work, and as you continue allowing your friend of resonance to teach you what she has to offer.

This act of transmogrification is awareness at a very high degree, being made available to you, as you have learned to recognize now what energy feels like. You have learned to identify it as such, rather than some peculiar fault, or physical malady. To identify energy as energy, pure and simple, is quite an accomplishment. Then to allow it, to flow with it, and to trust the good of it, is just where you want to be.

Good work, My Dear Journeyer. You are doing the work of the inner self. You are learning what it means to trust the resonant guidance being offered. And you are gaining now, by allowing experience, real experience of energy, to activate in your own energy field. Recognize and accept that this is what I speak of all the time. It is at the crux of my messages; that you are energy, we are all energy; and as such do we all have the capability to merge, and work together; to connect energetically.

Welcome to the world of energy, My Dear One. You and your friends are quite a group! Keep doing the work, and see what else happens. But most of all, continue to feel the energy. You will know when it is right resonant energy, and you will know what it is trying to tell you. This is awareness training, so be aware of it, of the energy around you, and in you, at all times.

*Transmogrification: the act of transmogrifying or transforming. This is a word that Jeanne spoke to me once several years ago. When I asked her to define it, she suggested I go ask Chuck because he would know what it meant. Alas, he was as stumped as I was. Here is the definition we found then in Webster’s Ninth: transmogrify: to change or alter greatly and often with grotesque or humorous effect syn see TRANSFORM.

The word transform was much more to our liking. But this strange and vague definition of transmogrify still left us wondering why she had presented this exact word to us, so we looked it up in the Oxford English Dictionary. Here is that definition: to alter or change in form or appearance; to transform, metamorphose (utterly, grotesquely, or strangely). b. to astonish utterly, confound.

At the time, I was beginning to have experiences of her energy in my own body, similar to the experience of this reader. I could actually physically feel my own molecular structure vibrate and shift, transforming me into a semblance of Jeanne that Chuck could recognize. We now understand that the word transmogrify allows us to grasp the greater meaning of the ability she has to use her energy or her intent to transform or transmogrify. She has since used this word often, once noting the ability to transmogrify at will, to suit situations as they arise, “a sorceress of change.” She seems to like the pliability of the word, the shaping, amorphous quality of it, similar to that of energy.

A Reader asks a question today.

Dear Jeanne,
Sometimes I feel as if I am cleaning up the mess I made when I was at a more unconscious level, like I am not here to do the things that I am doing, but I have no other choice. This includes relationships that are dear to me, but don’t fit. What guidance can you offer?

My Dear One, you state two things that I must prod you on. The first is that yes, you are here to do the things you do, and they do not relate to any other lifetime, except the one you now live. For even if you must repeat a process over several lifetimes, so is it clearly necessary to do so NOW. You cannot dismiss your self so easily from taking on your life now, with so little understanding of the significance of every action and every situation you find your self in. So that is the first point. You are in this lifetime NOW for a reason that has to do with NOW and your personal growth; taking a journey that is meaningful for NOW alone.

The other sticking point that you make is feeling that you have no choice in the matter. Now that, My Dear One, is NEVER true. You always have a choice, but I discern there is reluctance on your part to make a new choice. For that is what you must do in order to move on, to get unstuck, and to discover the truth of this life.

You are definitely here to do the things you are doing, until you choose to do something else that is more fulfilling and pleasing. I suggest, that by making choices every day do you open the door for new opportunities to flow toward you. And if you can push the self to do something slightly differently each day so do you leave that door ajar. And that alone is a choice. If you choose to do one thing differently each day, then perhaps each hour will offer a new opportunity as well. But you must get over your fear that you are not in control of your life, because you truly are. Your inner self knows this and wishes to be recognized for the wisdom and advice it has been imparting to you all these many years, yet have you negated its worthiness and the practicality of change.

For to push aside change, to determine that you cannot enact change in your life, is a grand mistake. Change is a choice, and every man, woman, and child upon that Earth has the ability to change, to choose change. And this opportunity comes along quite often, even every day.

So My Dear Reader, I suggest that you first change your thinking about your self and your situation. Find pleasure in knowing that you hold the powerful key to change within your self, and you can choose to use this key or not. To use the key will lead you and your life in a new direction.

Change takes time, but to refuse it over and over again is a sign of inertia and fear held in place by habits, old behaviors, old traumas, or even old examples of making seemingly wrong choices. And who would want to change, if the changes in the past have led only to problems and mishaps? Well I must say, that is also a choice you must make, to either stay stuck or to move onward, facing all the problems that may arise as a result of your true inner desires to grow and experience this life in a new manner.

As for relationships that don’t fit but are dear to you, so do I say that the theme of relationships must also encompass compatibility and loving respect that may or may not be granted further exploration. There are many relationships that must be sacrificed once you have had the necessary experience of them. If they “don’t fit” as you say, then accept that fact, find what you were supposed to learn from them, and give thanks for the mutual journey. For if that relationship is not right for you, so is it not right for the other person involved as well. Journeys may be shared for a time, but then it becomes abundantly clear that fulfillment will not be reached. Acceptance of this fact is also a choice to make, a truth to acknowledge, and once that is accomplished the mature adult self must choose the road of change for growth to happen.

Unhappiness in life must never be settled for, or used as a place of retreat from life. Do not fear the adventures that life has offered you My Dear Reader. This is your journey so far. But do you wish to stay in this place of feeling like a victim of a past life, when that is not so? Your insights are stuck in looking on what is outside of you. Turn now your eyes inward, and ask your self what it is that you truly want to accomplish during this lifetime, this time of growth, for this journey.

You do have the opportunity to shift, to grow, and to speak out about your desire for true excitement in your life. You deserve this. Everyone does, so don’t deny this fact. Give your self a gift today by saying this mantra:

I deserve the opportunity to change my life.
I deserve the opportunity to change my being.
I deserve the opportunity to change my direction.
And I deserve the life of an energetic being.

My Dear Reader, you have no idea what awaits. And if that scares you, I offer my assistance to get you past your fear of change. Do not be afraid of your self. You are an energy being seeking fulfillment. Give your self the gift of life, the opportunity to change, because you do deserve it. Come on, I’ll help you. Ask for me. I’m right here!