It’s Monday morning, early, still dark. I awaken to the sounds of crows. The sun has perhaps risen, but it’s cloudy and I have no sense of the dawn, yet the crows are calling, already wide awake. Their harsh cries penetrate the darkness. I sense them close to the house, ominous in their intensity. I wonder what they portend. My immediate reaction is negative. Is someone going to die? Is this the dark energy that Jeanne messaged about last week and that I’m supposed to turn away from?

Chuck and I sit and have our coffee by the fire, the door of the wood stove open so we can enjoy a quick blast of heat. I try to settle into the coziness of this winter morning, a dream still fresh, buzzing through my body, an old dream. It’s startling to me that I’ve dreamed of being in old crumbling warehouses, trying to get a baby to safety, a dominant dream theme of my recapitulation. I wonder why I’m back there. Again, I hear the crows.

“The crows are so loud!” I remark.

The morning progresses and still I hear the crows, so many, so close, so loud. What does it mean? Now they’re in the trees of the front yard. I see them in the field across the street pecking at the frozen ground. I hear them calling from the woods in the backyard, loud and insistent. Eventually, I push their energy aside, detaching as instructed by Jeanne last week, and sit down to channel a new message from Jeanne.

This week’s message is quite different from last week’s I think, speaking of positive energy and attaching to it, as opposed to last week’s, which admonished being aware of the energy as negative and largely seeking sustenance for its own purposes. Don’t attach, was the message then.

As I finish the message I notice the crows again. They’re swooping in close to the house now. Startled, I suddenly understand. They’re looking for food. The weather is ominous, not the crows, who are only looking for the crumbs of bread I leave for them on a large flat stone in the front yard. They call to each other. “Yes,” they seem to be saying. “She left us food! Come and get it!”

In abruptly switching my perspective regarding the crows, I accept the positive aspects of the energy of the day as relayed in the message from Jeanne. As I change my perspective I notice how relieved I become. I shed my fears and tension and I am no longer attached to the idea of crow energy as dark energy today.

For the most part I know crow energy is good energy, that crow brings messages of transformation and new life, that they are magical. But do I remember this, even for more than a few minutes? No! Because before long several enormous crows swoop through the front yard. I notice them, sweeping back and forth, as I sit and type up the channeled message. Each time I catch a glimpse of their large black wings, cut at such an angle as to appear threatening and ominous again, I startle. I get drawn right back into an old place and fear takes over. I can’t help but shake a little and wonder once again what they’re doing here so close, so many, so big, so threatening.

A blue jay swoops down to snatch some crumbs of bread from the stone. Immediately a crow swoops in after it, chasing it off so that it flies with a loud SMACK right into the window. I jump! And then I have to stop myself, I have to laugh. This is just what Jeanne’s message is about, not taking this energy of this day in a negative, fearful way, but in a positive way. And so I calm myself and shake off the energy that seeks attachment. In this moment I’m aware that even though last week’s message and this week’s message appear to be quite the opposite they are really saying the same thing: Be aware of how you perceive the energy in your life, what comes to you, and how you react to it.

Jeanne’s message this week says that life cannot help but evolve, life cannot help but flow. And so I see the crows and the blue jay as life in action, unstoppable. Nature has no problems acquiescing to the moment, to now. Nature does not fear what comes next. Nature does not hesitate to go for what it needs, when it needs it. And so I know I must learn this from nature. From my own abilities to channel I know how to flow with nature, how to detach from my thoughts and let nature flow through me uninhibited.

I realize I’m being challenged in my dream to be fully aware that it’s a very old dream. I’m being challenged by the crows and the jays to notice how old negative thoughts are so easily conjured. I’m being challenged to heed the warnings of my unconscious as it asks me to notice that change really is constant. I’m being asked if I’m going to flow with it, or am I going to keep feeding those old perspectives old notions of an old reality. Am I going to finally free myself of the stuff that I no longer need, that in fact I’ve really already detached from by fully putting it to rest?

I’ve been hard at work editing the final draft of my next book and so I’m aware that I’m rehashing and sifting through old stuff, my second year of intense recapitulation. And so I get the message of my dream, prompting me to take a good look at just how much work I did, and to face the complete truth of it, attempting to startle me by taking me into an old place, to alert me to the fact that I don’t need to run around in old crumbling buildings anymore. There is nothing to attach to there. There are no more babies to save. It’s time to get out of the old dreams and move into the new dreams already in progress. I’m aware that as we move forward in life, daring ourselves to take the next step, old things come to pull us back, seeking to keep us in old comfortable and comforting places, places that are unhealthy, unnecessary, and unevolving. It’s just the nature of the human struggle.

As I put these thoughts down, it begins to snow. Another winter storm has arrived. Nature doing what nature does. I am thankful for the messages from my unconscious, from my dream world, and from Jeanne, all in alignment with the energy of now, which states: Just keep going—whether the energy you sense is negative or positive, whether you feel pulled in an old direction, whether you feel stuck in old thoughts or ideas, whether you feel sad or lonely, fearful or apathetic—just keep moving and changing, looking always for the silver lining, the truth, a new perspective. And that’s what I take with me into this week.

No matter where I am, I must constantly pull myself back to the moment, to the present, reassessing my evolutionary journey, knowing that as a being of energetic potential I am responsible for getting myself out of old places, as Jeanne suggests in her messages. I’ve learned the power of the mind to control and I’ve experienced the mind totally free. I look around me now on this day and know which I prefer.

I know how to read energy, we all do. It’s just a matter of constantly checking in with our own energy, questioning what makes us feel energetically alive, and what makes us feel energetically dead, what makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad. And that’s what Jeanne’s trying to teach us to do, feel our own energy, so we can really understand that although her messages over the past two weeks at first appear to be the opposite of each other, in reality they are exactly the same.

Watch your personal energy, guard it closely and let it guide you. Learn to flow with your life the same way that nature flows. Let life flow to you and take you on your journey. Let life make the most of you, as Jeanne says, just as one day flows into the next, night into day and then into night again. Our choice is in how we want to live, and so as each snowflake falls I look at it from a new perspective and shed some attachment that I no longer need. For I am certain that we are all evolving beings.

Love,
Jan

Here is an excerpt from Animal Speak by Ted Andrews regarding crows. I think it very nicely sums up my experience and Jeanne’s messages to us all: The cawing out of the crow should remind us that magic and creation are cawing out to us every day.