Commentary on Message #380 From Chuck

I am delighted that Jeanne so eloquently comments on our favorite subject of exploration when we walked together in this world, PROJECTION. In relationships the usual focus for projection is the anima/animus, one’s soul, which accounts for the compelling power and magic of the in-love experience. In Jeanne’s reply to this female reader she instructs that she reclaim the strength and beauty of her own strong woman. In effect, that is the real challenge to finding one’s wholeness. Yes, when we fall in love we are experiencing union with our contra-sexual internal other. For a man this is his inner woman and for a woman her inner man, as reflected in our partner. However, we are also falling in love with our partner’s valuation of us; through being wanted and desired by another we become valuable. Many are caught by an inability to value themselves, hence they constantly seek the reflection of their worth in the attention given to them by the other. Jeanne instructs this woman to turn her inner man’s fascination to her strong woman, that is, to fall in love with herself. This is not narcissism; this is the experience of truly valuing and giving attention to the self. Loving the self entails an honest recapitulation, which involves facing all the truths of the self, with total acceptance. Loving the self is valuing and withstanding the utter truth that, despite all our wonderful companions, our completion is totally a solo journey, and we are all completely worthy of the adventure.