Today, a Warrior (Jeanne’s term) asks a question.
My question is, what in my evolutionary path would choose incest and molestation as a path to enlightenment? I have moved past many of the obstacles that these experiences presented and am proud of my success. I have been able to be present and offer comfort to other children, now adults, as they struggle with a similar past. I have used this experience to inspire me in my creative work. I have learned the power and purpose of forgiveness. Those experiences have blessed me in many ways. There is one last place that still holds the memories of that time and those experiences, and that place is my body. It holds many memories of the effects of this past, and I am challenged by how to let this go, and transform those places in my body that still remember and react.
My Dearest Reader, you have chosen to live the warrior’s path. Your journey began before your experiences presented themselves in this life. Your souls’ choices have given you the opportunity to far exceed expectations for growth. It sounds like your path has been one of extreme ability to conquer and move on.
The choice to elect such a path is the opportunity for a great leap forward, an evolutionary leap. The opportunity to transcend all the trappings of that world, and to be given the gift of knowing at an early age, is deeply hidden behind those experiences. Inside your body remain still many of those experiences, as yet unrecapitulated. And this is the next step you must take in order to complete your journey. For without total recapitulation, acceptance, and acquiescence to the facts of your journey thus far taken, will you remain unfulfilled.
To seek physical release is perhaps the most difficult aspect of the recapitulation process, for the body holds memory without words, without thoughts, and without purpose, except as reaction, and as reminder that your work is not done. Completion of the inner work must involve all that is hidden, ingrained, and automatic, the long lasting effects of your early childhood trauma.
But awareness of the memories, as tied to the physical body, must also be released. Have you moved past your memories with true recapitulation? Or have you left them behind, suitcases littering the path behind you, dusty and unopened? This is the challenge the body presents, and it does so when you least expect it because it knows that you are so guarded and aware in normal circumstances. Your body is telling you that you are not done yet. It is telling you that it still holds, deeply hidden, in quiet pockets, remnants of your past. Release of all memory; emptying of all pockets; scraping, and digging, and rinsing clean of all old discarded memories must be done in order for this process to be complete.
Can you accept your journey as a gift? Can you accept your self as a child warrior, steadily and forcefully marching into life with a mission to grow? Your earliest years, and your youth was peppered with the challenges of a lifetime, yet are such early beginnings full of lessons and abilities. You were deep in training from a young age. When most other children are being loved, protected, and nurtured, you were being presented with the tools of an evolutionary being. Have you not been given the opportunity to live a spiritual life, full of deep inner knowing of this aspect of your self?
Your treasures of this training lie deep in the folds and sinews of your body. Your enlightenment remains guarded and unfulfilled as you protect still the inner child. Yet does that inner child know that all your experiences where meaningful aspects of a journey well-taken for completion to become a reality. Do you choose to continue toward completion now, with that inner child in the forefront, safely past the years of trauma, yet stronger and more fiercely aware? Does that inner child not require release from your body, along with the pain that remains to remind you that it still waits for the work to be done?
I do not talk of rescue. I do not speak of coddling the big baby inside you. I speak only of understanding such a journey, horrific as it is, as an evolutionary one. What young child would choose such a journey? None would, of course; but your spirit chose it for evolutionary purposes, and that is what your spirit still intends. Pay attention to the experiences now as lessons in detachment, as tools of awareness, as well-planned examinations that enabled you to learn many skills that others struggle to understand long into adulthood. I speak of the abilities that such trauma presents in the form of out of body experience, clarity of knowing, and the ability to perceive and be aware in a heightened manner. Heightened awareness is one of the most important aspects of an evolutionary being, and I can guarantee that you learned this at an early age.
So My Dear Reader, you did choose such a journey. You did experience such early trauma, disappointment, and devastation for reasons of evolutionary growth; and it is a very good choice to have made, for such a journey is chock-full of good teachings. Your teachers were hell-bent on making you learn your lessons, aiding you in your growth. Did you do a good job as you struggled and grew? Your adulthood would speak volumes of praise for a journey well-taken. But in order to complete it, and continue your evolutionary journey, must you find out what your body still holds for you to discover. Take your innocent child self with you now, on a new exploration. Allow that child, the one who so bravely took that journey, to lead you back to where you need to go. Allow that warrior child to show you how it learned the lessons being taught, what they meant then, and what they mean now as you accept your path as a truly evolutionary one.
This child self knows everything. Not one iota of experience is forgotten, or misplaced; nor is that child traumatized. It is simply waiting for you, the adult, to understand that every aspect of your life thus far lived has been, and continues to be, preparation for learning what it means to be an evolutionary being, but most importantly an energy being.
March onward now. Put that child self upon your shoulders, and re-discover your innocence, but also your warrior child self. And the two of you take the recapitulation journey now, with a new perspective firmly in your knowing. And find your body, so that together you may live in it, a whole being, merged in the physical, and then will you have greater access to your whole energy being as well.
You are learning what it means to be an energy being. That is what your entire life is about, your story incomplete until you merge fully with your child self in full recapitulation and knowing of self in this manner. Your body is your vehicle through this life. It desires full participation and release, and it will continue to tell you this until you take care of what it is trying to alert you to. It asks for completion of that early journey in order to be released forward to new life, still to come. For the body desires life too, and that is what it is asking for. Give it life!