I am delighted that Jeanne so eloquently comments on our favorite subject of exploration when we walked together in this world, PROJECTION. In relationships the usual focus for projection is the anima/animus, one’s soul, which accounts for the compelling power and magic of the in-love experience. In Jeanne’s reply to this female reader she instructs that she reclaim the strength and beauty of her own strong woman. In effect, that is the real challenge to finding one’s wholeness. Yes, when we fall in love we are experiencing union with our contra-sexual internal other. For a man this is his inner woman and for a woman her inner man, as reflected in our partner. However, we are also falling in love with our partner’s valuation of us; through being wanted and desired by another we become valuable. Many are caught by an inability to value themselves, hence they constantly seek the reflection of their worth in the attention given to them by the other. Jeanne instructs this woman to turn her inner man’s fascination to her strong woman, that is, to fall in love with herself. This is not narcissism; this is the experience of truly valuing and giving attention to the self. Loving the self entails an honest recapitulation, which involves facing all the truths of the self, with total acceptance. Loving the self is valuing and withstanding the utter truth that, despite all our wonderful companions, our completion is totally a solo journey, and we are all completely worthy of the adventure.
#380 Relationships Can Be Very Tricky
Today, A Reader asks for guidance about a relationship.
Dear Jeanne,
I read your “wisdom messages” regularly, and thank you for your valuable guidance. Perhaps you will be able to respond to this situation for me? I’ve been in a long working relationship with a man, with whom the connection has also been “more,” but in the last couple of years it has mellowed into the form of task companions and friends. Recently, however, his attitude toward me has deteriorated into flagrant rudeness, arrogance, and even mean-spiritedness.
In any other situation, I’d be less conflicted about just getting out of this relationship, but I have a professional connection with this man that I feel I need to keep intact and amenable while I look for work. In a matter of weeks, an enduring, fairly close connection has become a source of hurt to me, and by all appearances, just an annoyance to him. He will not discuss this; his position is that if he’s not feeling “good energy” coming toward him from someone, he will not be bothered by them at all. I’m all for good energy, but to me, acknowledging what’s happening, clearing negative energy, and creating understanding is healing, and will help revive good energy!
This entire relationship, which I felt was kindred and lasting (even in its difficulties), is now hitting me like an ongoing sucker-punch, which I am literally feeling in my solar plexus. Still I keep hoping we can resuscitate what was good between us, at least enough to create a graceful (grace-filled) split! Dear Jeanne, do you have any insight into this particular situation that you might share? I swear, the energies are whipping my life enough without this knocking me over the edge!
Thank you, thank you…. oxo Anonymous.
My Dearest Reader, relationships can be very tricky, especially between strong men and strong women who each have equal abilities to love, desire, and compensate for the frailties of the other. It is not your responsibility to uphold any aspect of a partner that that partner cannot himself hold as his own. Keep that in mind as I answer your question. By this I mean that you do not need to protect or to treasure an aspect of this man you are so connected to. It is far better to ask him to own it, even as you own that aspect in your self. Is that clear?
I find it necessary, as regards relationships, to first state that all relationships begin as projective, idealistic flurries. Once the flurry dies down, so is it much clearer who stands before you. Your own relationship with this man may be at the clearing stage now. As it is with you, so is it with him, and this you must pay attention to. Regard not his disdain, but regard your own inner struggles to become an independent and strongly stable person in your own right. This is where you are caught, you know. The projection is now being revealed as just that, and you stand nakedly exposed and alone with the dust of the flurry you have been caught in for the past several years. Within a relationship flurry, within a whirlwind, is clarity not truly possible. It is only afterwards that truth can be exposed, posed, and proposed.
Your dilemma does not stand with this man, but within your self, though you look to him for support. This I can understand, but you must not hold out hopes that he will supply you with what you request. It may not be possible for him to turn back and observe your needs while he flees his own reflection in you. This happens in relationships, quite often, as truths are revealed.
Did I not, myself, once flee a relationship upon that earth when it got messy and tough, in order to find once again the fire ignited in another? To continually seek the spark of ignition is to remain always in the whirlwind, always in the beauty of the projective state. But that state does not last forever, as reality soon shakes you awake and says: “Hey, wait a minute! You must have balance, and stability, and honor the truth of your own being, even while you honor the truth of another.”
Find your self now upon your own two feet, not let down gently, but let down nonetheless. Find your center. Find your strong woman inside you that this man was once drawn to. You have not totally accepted that she exists, yet have you seen her on many occasions. She asks you now to release her from this man who abruptly pushes her from him. She stands before YOU and asks YOU to take her back. Do not give her back to any man, but only take her back to your self.
This is how projections end. They do not necessarily fade out, though that is also possible. But in your case, the screen went suddenly blank and you were left in the dark. Turn the lights on, My Dear. Look around your self. Where are you? Where do you honestly find your self? Alone? Well, that is truly the best place to be!
Now you are at a place of rebirth. Now you are being asked to fully accept who you are without attachment, without projection, without your soul having to be connected or controlled by that of another. This journey of the soul is yours alone to take. You are not bound to another or another’s soul, as you might predict. That is not how journeys through life are accomplished. Yes, we travel many times with others, with other energy beings, but ultimately must we sever ties in order to have our own experiences upon that earth, separate from those who we may eventually complete our lives with at another time, in another world.
I give the example of my own completion as Jeanne Marie Ketchel. My soul’s completion had nothing to do with the vital connection I maintain with the two who now continue my connection to you in this manner. My Dearest Chuck and My Sweet Jan and I have had previous connections upon that earth realm and will have connection in the future in infinity. But each of us must accept our own soul’s journey and the completion of our individual lives in spite of what we have learned about our connection to each other. Completion is centered on the individual, completing the individual soul’s journey.
This is what I present to you now. My advice is: Remove your attention and, subsequently, your energy from this man. Remove your focus, your thoughts, your yearnings for connection and completion from this man. Yes, even though you have, and have had, quite a strong and deeply fulfilling link to each other, so is it time to also turn your back and walk in a new direction, not out of spite, disappointment, anger, or disdain, but purely for energetic reasons.
Take back your energy and apply it to your own growth. You have deep wells of sadness, I see, but you do not even know of your deeps wells of strength yet. Remove your feet from dangling in the wells of sadness and the wells of the past and walk swiftly now to your inner wells of strength and beauty.
Your request for something from this man will not now be replied to. You will find, in spite of your insistence that you need connection in order to move on, that this will not be true in the long run. You may hold on to that idea, that you need him, if you must, but it will inhibit your progress. It will keep a thread of attachment through which your energy will drain out of you, weakening your ability to access your inner strength.
As I said, relationships can be very tricky. Know this, all of You Readers who dabble and tease in the projective field. It is far better to sit alone on a Saturday night, and discover who you truly are, than to sit with another who is not who they appear to be. The energy now upon that earth is tricky in this way. So if you are already playing love games in the projective field, watch out because you will find that this tricky energy will produce many projections at once and you will not be sure which is the real person. And you can get fooled, bitterly so.
This is a time of deception, of untruths, of cause for alarm because there are mirrors all over the place. Do not get caught in the dark movie house, or a hall of mirrors where you cannot find a real person in the darkness.
You will not succeed in finding what you want outside of you by looking into those movie screens or those funny mirrors. You will only find what you want by looking inward, facing your self, your truths, your reality, and then allowing your acceptance of self to birth new appreciation of your lovely qualities. Do not give them away, but keep them inside you. Nurture them and feed off them your self now, allowing them to become your new wells of strength.
I hope this aids you in your dilemma, My Dear Reader. Your question is one of confusion of self really, and not a question of another. Relationships provide us with the opportunity to discover who we truly are, and that is your real challenge now.
Turn your back now, withdraw your strength and your beauty from this man and give them back to your self. Then will you find your way. Your path will be clearer, your head and heart stronger, and your journey more defined by your own capable hands pulling aside the veils rather than someone else’s. Look at your hands and ask them to lead you where you need to go. They will find you what you need. Good Luck!
#379 Do Not Fall For Anything That Looks Too Good To Be True
Dear Jeanne,
Can you offer us some guidance for today?
My Dear Ones, remain innerly centered now during this time of continued turmoil. Your place will not be disrupted, your flow not blocked if you remain innerly concentrated. I do not mean doing this in an obsessive, stuck way, but as a calm and observant being who knows that all difficult situations pass, things do begin to change, and shift will come.
These are good things to keep in mind as you go through your days and as you pay attention to your own world, your world of family, work, and play, but also your outer world and what is going on in the community in which you live. There will continue to be disruptions and many excuses will be posed. Do not listen to the excuses, but look instead for the truths behind the excuses. This is what all must do now, as they consider not only what is going on in the world outside of them, but also in the inner world that is so important.
Your inner world may now reflect the turmoil and disruptions of the outer energy. This is common. Do not get caught feeling dismayed or puzzled or lost. Allow your inner seeking self to sit back from the fray, observe it truthfully from a place of no attachment and then see what your feelings are. To be able to detach from circumstances that are conflictual is quite a necessary and reasonable stance to take. In detachment will you observe a new awareness that you may not be able to achieve if you remain in your tumbled world of rationality and reasoning that holds you captive in repetitive thinking, and thinking that cannot quite leap beyond the norm.
It is time to think differently now about just about everything in your world. But it is also time to sit back and observe, notice, and begin to make plans for doing your life differently. There is a new energetic shift now that asks for truth to be spoken and acted, but it also warns of catastrophe if you do not act from a place of detachment. It is far too early to get caught in this teasing energy that now sweeps in to confuse you even more!
Do not attach to yet more strange and unnatural tales of deception, but sit back and see what else will be revealed. For this continues to be a revealing time and more news is to come, but it may be unclear and slightly deceptive in how it is presented, so do not fall for anything that looks too good to be true.
Do not listen to stories of grandeur and overflow. And do not jump to conclusions in your own life either, but wait out this hailstorm of controversy, confusion, and conflict that is about to rain down on your world. This process is inevitable, unstoppable. Your best course of action however, in such times, is to remain steadily calm, pragmatic, and continually looking ahead to long-term affect, questioning always your inner self.
Where do you want to be in your life in one month’s time? Where do you want to be in your inner world? Well, you will not achieve either dream if you listen to the nay-sayers, or even the truth-diggers outside of you. Yes, their predictions may be correct in the long run, but what does that truly have to offer now? You must remain innerly focused now, strong upon your warrior legs, your feet firmly planted in the truth of your reality, no matter what is presented to you from without. Remain steady now, My Dears, that is the best advice I can give you.
On the other hand, please do not forget to enjoy every minute of your life upon that earth. You are there to learn about your self, but it is not a bad idea to enjoy your learning experiences too! Continue your hard work on the self; maintain your diligent awareness of the signs in your life, but pay attention to the inner you who does truly know when it is time to work, when it is time to resort to a calm inner place of contemplation, and when it is time to play and be in the energy of the world around you. This inner you is the one to listen to.
Good Luck as this new energy bursts forth upon you and then comes to a grinding halt, throwing you all forward with an abruptness that will wake you up. But will you wake up clearheaded and truthfully aware? Or will you wake up dazed and confused? Unfortunately, I do not have an answer for you. That is what you must take care of answering your selves, by going innerly and solving your riddles by listening to your hearts.
#378 Accept Your Appointment with Evolutionary Growth
Dear Jeanne,
Do you have a message for us as we begin a new week? What can we expect from the energy and how can we continue to use it rather than be confused by it?
Do not be so troubled by the intense energy shifts and the revelations now and soon to be made known to you. Your intent must remain upon growth, personal growth and evolutionary growth. It is most advisable to remain strongly heart-centered as you go forward now.
Yes, there is much turmoil around you now, and even inside you, as the energy continues to push you in a direction of change that will matter, asking you to make decisions that will also matter, though they may also disrupt the flow of your life and appear to shift you in the opposite direction. But this is right, if you know that your heart yearns for such shift in direction. You will know by the balance of inner calm knowing and outer anticipation and excitement, as you elect to make a change that may at first appear to be drastic and challenging.
Do not hold your self back from accepting your appointment with evolutionary growth. In order to embark on this journey must you be ready and able to encounter the shifts in direction that must be taken note of and actualized. It is not enough to take a journey that simply notices the signs that point the way for you. But you must elect to move in the direction they point out to you when you know, by your inner resonance, that such a direction is right for you.
This is definitely a challenging energy time. It will be so for quite a while, long enough to offer many opportunities to change direction and to move in new directions, if you so desire. And that is the main issue here. You must each confront, within your selves, whether or not you truly desire to change? Are you ready and willing to take on this boosting energy that will, in fact, send you on quite a journey if you accept it as your impetus, your companion, and your ever-present enlightening force? Do you really wish for such change in your own life now? Even as you observe that change is needed in the world around you, so must you elect to participate by putting your self out into the flow of it.
I see so many of you confused in your lives right now. This confusion is also part of this energy; for it is so pushy that you cannot help but feel it. It may be more apparent to you than your sense of direction, or your noticing of signs, or your sense of self at this time. This is very common. So do not worry that you are losing your sense of direction, or that you are just a totally confused mess. The energy is letting you know it is available, and that is all you really need to know at this point if you have not found your focus, your direction, or your equilibrium.
By simply accepting that the energy is available can you relieve your self of its intensity. This is what I have been suggesting that you do and I continue to suggest this activity. Say to your self: “Okay, I accept the fact that the universe is offering tremendous energetic support. But I will not simply allow myself to be drawn in to it and risk being sucked away by its intensity. I prefer to monitor my own sense of well being, my own sense of place, and my own inner knowing based on who I know I am. I am a conscientious, mature, and intelligent being who is in the process of discovering my spirit intent and this is where I will place my focus. I will not get drawn out to the energetic craziness that is playing out all over the world. I prefer to stay calmly centered now, aware of my own needs to use this energy properly, so that I can allow myself to move forward, with my intent to evolve as my goal. Rather than simply jumping into the energy because it is present, I elect to sit a while longer and contemplate which direction of change really resonates with me.”
My Dearest Ones, this is a time of deep reflection. It is a time of inner searching. It is also a time of uncovering. What is being revealed must be further examined and accepted as truthful revelations that have thus far driven the world you live in. And in spite of the direction thus far taken, so is there always the possibility to elect a new direction, a change that will turn you around in a completely new direction. But as I say, you must elect this change based on what is clearly being shown to you now.
What you don’t like, what you see that is wrong, irresponsible, immature, and utterly and clearly corrupt must be fully acknowledged and left behind. Your own intent must remain focused on personal growth now in order for greater change to happen. All of you must reject negative activities, dishonest and irresponsible acts of personal, professional, and social injustice. You must all clean up your acts and rid your selves of confusion regarding what is right doing and what is wrong doing. You must become aware that every action you take in your lives affects everything else around you.
So for today, and to begin this week, I continue to advise inner contemplation based on outer truths now being revealed. Question your intent, your purpose in life, your meaningful activities versus your wasted energy. Find your resonance now, your inner resonance, during this time of great outer turmoil and you will be well on your way to making the right choices. Your inner you will not fail you, though your inner you may certainly challenge you! And that, My Dears, is what you must confront–the challenges that you are placing before your selves! Good Luck!
#377 The Energy Will Play Out Where Most Necessary
Dear Jeanne,
This has been quite a week. I understand that this is a time of great energetic shift. Can you offer us guidance on how to deal with this energy over the next few days?
Allow your selves the understanding that you cannot control the energy around you, but you can control how you choose to engage it. Your attachment to the energy is your greatest discordant action at this time. By this I mean that if you remain focused on what is happening around you, so do you risk discordancy in your own life.
The energy will play out its intensity where it is most necessary. Keep this in mind: it will play our where it is most necessary. This will be so on the political, social, financial, and internal fronts, but it will also do so within your own framework. So on an individual level may you now be confronted with your own greatest fears and conflicts, which are about to crumble or are in great need of shoring up. But realize that you are in control of how you react. Do you elect to fall down upon the ground, a great weeping heap of debris? Or do you elect to remain standing, stiffening your legs with your inner strength, and preparing your self to not only take on, but handle from a new perspective, your fallibilities?
Where are you personally structurally unsound? Where do you need to place your intent? Where are your weak points and the gaps in your positive intent to grow?
Please use this time of turmoil well, by searching your selves, your hearts, your homes, and your daily lives for the truths of how you have chosen to live. Now is a time of revealing, as the energy rips off roofs and covers and shows what is underneath. Have you not discovered, lately, some truth about your own life that does truly need attention? This is what the energy seeks to show you, but you must elect to look at it from a spirit growth and evolutionary perspective, rather than a financial security perspective, or from the point of view of a collapsing structure. Yes, structures may be unsound, but what does it all mean from an evolutionary standpoint and, most importantly, what does it mean for you?
Your personal growth is now affected in some way. Are you ready to take the evolutionary journey in a new way now as this time of disruption offers you the opportunity to shift?
You are all being offered the opportunity to do things differently. Your countries, your individual lives, and your very planet are being offered a new door to select as your next pathway. Or do you elect to take the same path, stay with the current situation, placing band-aids upon your cuts and bruises, shoring up your flimsy structures with temporary beams? Or do you say: “Hey, wait a minute! This isn’t right! This has been going on for long enough! I’m not prepared to keep up this facade of stability based on old tactics, old fears, old habits, and pretty old and worn out structures that just aren’t able to hold up any more. This is absurd!”
Are you ready to admit that things have gotten out of hand; that it is time to change? Are you ready to admit that life needs to be lived, not only differently, but with spirit intent now? I ask all of you to take a leap of faith here, to offer your selves the opportunity to move forward in a new direction that will undoubtedly change your lives, the lives of those around you, and the world at large.
You are being offered a new door now. You are being shown that life can and should be lived differently because it will not continue as it does. No matter what you think will happen, so will it be different. Your process must now be one of acceptance of the true facts being revealed to you. This is your first step in making changes, accepting the inevitability of change happening all around you, against your will, but happening nonetheless by energetic force, unstoppable energy. You are being asked, most forcefully, to change your life in some manner. Depending on who you are and where you are in your life so is this request for change present in some fashion. No one is exempt from this energetic proposal to make a big shift now. There is not one place on earth that is exempt; not one person relieved of this duty. In some manner is every single human being affected by this energetic shift now taking place.
As a great tidal wave of energy asks you to change your life what will you do? Will you try to run and hide; pull the covers back over your head? Well, you won’t be able to stay hidden under the covers because the energy will continue to rip them off you. It will continue to blow aside your attempts to stay hidden. This energy is asking all of you to participate in the change that is now rattling your doors and windows and shaking you to your very cores.
Your heart knows this is so. And even though you may be afraid, even though you may feel on shaky ground (which is true!) so must you accept the inevitable, whatever it may be in your life. Go forward now with your intent placed forth ahead of you, your own intent to gain control of your life, with your spirit guiding you now, rather than your old habits and your old ideas.
Shift from your head to your heart now. It is the only aspect of self that will make sense as the declines continue and the shake-ups reverberate, revealing yet more catastrophes around the world. The greatest uncovering has yet to come.
Be prepared by strengthening your own conviction to remain centered and calmly heart balanced. For even as the world around you may tumble, its own greed consuming it, so may you stand tall and stable, a spirit warrior intent upon change and restructuring your life based on truth revealed, with right action as your new building blocks.
So hold now in your awareness your firm spirit intent to proceed forward, no matter what may be predicted. It is the only way to enact real change that will be evolutionary for all.