Tag Archives: recapitulation

Chuck’s Place: Alzheimer’s & The Journey Of The Soul

Who knows what we will encounter as we take our first steps into the bardos... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Who knows what we will encounter as we take our first steps into the bardos…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The rational sensibility of the modern world observes the deterioration of the brain with Alzheimer’s disease and questions the validity of the soul. In effect, it asks the question, “What is left to ascend after death, when clearly there appears to be a total dismantling of the personality as the disease progresses?”

All religious systems, nonetheless, propose that a soul, an ethereal essence, separates from the body and continues to live after death. Hindu scientists have an elaborate understanding of the composition of that soul, or what they have termed the astral body. According to their findings, our abilities to think and feel originate in the astral body. The astral body, or soul, is intimately connected with the physical body; feelings are experienced in physical sensations and mental processes are connected with the brain. These two bodies, physical and astral, are inseparable except in dreaming, shamanic journeying, and in severe trauma, when the astral body—though still attached to the physical body—separates and goes off on its own journey.

Shamans utilize dreaming and journeying to explore life beyond the body, as they prepare for life after death, for the moment when the astral body completely separates from the physical body.

The Tibetan Buddhists, as outlined in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, have identified several bardos, or in-between worlds, that all humans encounter shortly after death. In the bardos we are all confronted with unresolved issues from our lives. Our ability to resolve, or not attach to these issues in the bardo states allows us to progress deeper into our soul’s unfolding journey in infinity. However, this cosmic recapitulation process in the bardos may require many lifetimes before we achieve true freedom. Alzheimer’s, as I see it, is the beginning of that cosmic bardo adventure, begun while still living in the human body, offering the opportunity to engage in recapitulation.

With the deterioration of the brain during Alzheimer’s, the astral body is freed to enter the bardos and deal with deep issues, as it is freed of engagement in the affairs of daily life. Deterioration of personality in this world in no way reflects loss of self, it simply reflects a breakdown of cognitive functioning connected to the physical body.

Things may clarify the deeper we go... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Things may clarify the deeper we go…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The mental and emotional self is fully present in its astral travels and is deeply engaged in working through karmic issues with souls from other lives, as well as those who have already crossed over, whom one was associated with in this life. Alzheimer’s offers an individual an extended opportunity, while still in human form, to resolve issues of many lives, with the added benefit of possibly breezing through the bardos after real death, moving quickly into higher spiritual realms. What appears in physical form as a difficult to manage and heartbreaking pathological disease, in spiritual form is actually an opportunity for great healing and advancement.

Relatives of Alzheimer’s patients are often treated to stories of these adventures in the bardos when the Alzheimer’s traveler is in lucid moments. He or she may speak of adventures with relatives and other beings in the astral realm. And, yes, some of those encounters with entities in the bardos realm can be quite terrifying, as patients might report their terror at feeling robbed or attacked, or having met evil or monstrous beings.

Nonetheless, if we can value their experiences as coming from layers of reality that we are unable to witness, rather than simply dismissing them as hallucinations, we might be granted glimpses of life beyond life. Not only are we offered valuable insight into what we will all one day encounter as we enter the bardos ourselves, but we are able to support our loved ones as they deepen their soul’s journey in infinity, preparing for their final launching.

Is Alzheimer's seeding new life? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Is Alzheimer’s seeding new life?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Looking at Alzheimer’s from a different perspective,
Chuck

I wish to thank Elmer Green, PhD, brain researcher and pioneer of biofeedback, for his insight into Alzheimer’s as he took the journey with his wife, Alyce, learning what she was encountering on her trips into the bardos. You can hear him talk about it here: The Ozawkie Book of the Dead He mentions his findings about Alzheimer’s within the first few minutes and goes into it in greater detail throughout the recording. It’s well worth listening to!

A Day in a Life: Patient Waiting

From inside the tunnel of self... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
From inside the tunnel of self…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Shortly after I finished college and went to live in Sweden, long suppressed memories began to stir. They came in short bursts, most often as dissociative states. I would suddenly retreat from the world, tunneling down into myself, where I’d view the world as if from inside a telescope.

Such moments could last for a few minutes to a few hours. I had no idea why they happened, but there was something incredibly familiar about them, though fuller memories of my childhood sexual abuse were not to surface for decades. I had never heard of recapitulation nor was I seeing a therapist at the time, but there was a deeper part of me that knew that one day both of those things would become central to my existence.

It was also about that time that I had the clear insight that one day I would have to retreat into a cabin of my own, as I thought of it, and do the deeper inner work that I sensed would one day be necessary.

To combat those disturbing moments of dissociation, I began keeping a list of all the things I would take with me into my cabin. I planned to go for a long time, a year or more. I made lists of foods, water, personal supplies, how much of each I’d need. I made lists of art supplies and writing implements, clothing, bedding, batteries, pots and pans, etc. My cabin was heated by a wood stove, so I stacked wood outside the walls, lining it several feet deep, both for lighting fires as well as insulation during the coldest months. I expected that I would be buried under several feet of snow for months on end, it was Sweden after all.

The lists were long. I’d check them over and over again, adding new things, deleting others that seemed unnecessary. I tried to think of every item I would need and every circumstance I would encounter. I wanted to be sure that I had not forgotten one thing that I would need in my isolated cabin. Whether my imaginings were practical or not didn’t matter; it was a deeper part of me that was making the plans.

Here is the cabin on the mountaintop that I envisioned for myself and drew and painted over and over again... - Detail from painting by Jan Ketchel, 1979
Here is the cabin on the mountaintop that I envisioned for myself and drew and painted over and over again…
– Detail from painting by Jan Ketchel, 1979

My cabin planning became an art piece. I worked on it for months, drawing floor plans, exterior views, picking the perfect mountaintop spot with beautiful views, incorporating it into all my other art works for years to come, getting it just right. Putting the final touches on it, I put it away, for I knew it was not going to become an actuality, at least not then. I would have to wait for the right time, because I was certain that someday I would be going into a cabin of my own, that I would be there for a long time. Once there, I knew I would be ready to finally face my demons, all that tortured and plagued me.

Little did I know that, in a sense, my mental planning would one day prove useful, though the entry into my cabin took a far different route from my early imaginings. In the planning stage, I was establishing a real cabin, but in the reality of my recapitulation, many decades later, I entered a metaphorical cabin, as I personally became the cabin. My own body housed me, protected me, nourished and supported me throughout the three years of my inner journey. It contained everything I needed to do my recapitulation. And just as I had imagined, I did finally face all that had stirred back when I was just a young woman starting out in life. Though I had been granted a taste of what was to come, little did I realize just what it would mean or where it would take me.

I am struck now by the patience of my young self. I seemed to know that when things are ready, they will come. It was a valuable lesson, one that I relearned many times as my recapitulation unfolded. Often I would want to push the process, get it over with as quickly as possible. I remember one day saying to Chuck, “Why don’t we just spend a whole day doing the recapitulation and get it over with once and for all.” Ha! Little did I know that it doesn’t work that way.

There was no point in pushing. Pushing, I learned, only created unnecessary tension and anxiety. Far better to wait. The recapitulations, the memories, came on their own. I didn’t actually have to do anything to trigger them. I had to learn to be available, recognize that I was being prompted, and take the journey that was offered, because that’s what I was being taken on, a journey. My job, if I was to truly get through the memories as quickly as possible, was to consciously let them go through me, in whatever form they came, and learn what I needed to learn from them, both what they offered me in childhood and what they came to teach me again as an adult.

I even envisioned a future happy self! - Detail from a painting by Jan Ketchel, 1979
I even envisioned a future happy self!
– Detail from a painting by Jan Ketchel, 1979

The recapitulation process was invaluable. Painful as it was, I would not trade it for anything. It was the journey my spirit was setting up for me so long ago, letting me know that one day I would indeed be going into a cabin of my own. I just had to wait for the right time, the time when I was ready.

The lesson of patient waiting can be applied to other areas of life as well. If we want something and push for it, it might backfire on us. It might not be the right time or be the right thing for us. But if we wait, if it’s right, it will come and we will be ready for it. This I know.

From my cabin,
Jan

Chuck’s Place: Real Security

Still dealing with computer issues, but here is a blog from Chuck, sans pictures again, but offered with our heartfelt wishes for good journeying through all the changes.

The human animal is acutely aware of great change on the horizon. Such impending change produces a collective fear that emanates from the deepest stratum of our instinctual selves, rising to the surface in our individual experiences as anxiety. We seek to dispel this anxiety by seeking refuge in our ego self, which responds by associating the anxiety with current events as it defensively reasons us to provisional security. This anxiety/fear, however, goes deeper than that, into the very nature of our human animal selves.

The question arises: How do we achieve real security? The truth is that although it is evident that we are in for great planetary change, life is and has always been about great change. All life ends; what greater change could there possibly be?

Real security is not to be found in a respite from change. A respite from change may temporarily be found in the ego’s bag of magical defenses, but such respite is an illusion. In reality change is constant and unrelenting. We might, nonetheless, discover a sense of real security on a warm day at the beach.

The ocean tide is the ultimate expression of unrelenting change. The heartbeat of the earth never ceases in the circulatory system of the ocean’s waves. If we lie calmly at the seashore, we might attune ourselves to the sounds of the true pulse of change. No wave is ever the same. Some waves are calm and smooth, others are crushingly powerful.

If we venture beyond our sandy bed into the ocean waves we experience more directly the energy of change. As the waves approach we might decide to learn to dance with them, timing our moves to leap at just the right moment, barely impacted by the passing waves. If our timing is slightly askew we might find ourselves mercilessly dragged down and under, into sand and swirls, frantically awaiting release that we might breathe again. Most times we are released back into life, returned to the control of our own bodies. Sometimes the ocean claims life, the catalyst to moving into new form.

Perhaps we might decide to align ourselves with the flow of the waves, with the energy of change, as we ride the cresting waves ashore. Sometimes we are fooled or miscalculate and again find ourselves pulled asunder, forced to face the crushing uncertainty of change head on.

Real security, however, is only to be found in facing the inevitability of change by allowing the ego self to learn about its energy, discovering how to ride it successfully by facing the truth of our own lives.

If we can allow ourselves to engage with consciousness in our dreams and bring them to waking life, we enter more deeply into the ocean of our deeper selves.

If we can allow ourselves to fully experience our feelings in the present, and in our deepest memories in recapitulation, we release the energy of stored inner tidal waves and learn to stay afloat through the inevitable storms of our lives.

And yes, if we can allow ourselves to fully reexperience our deepest encounters with terrors that once tore us asunder, we gain the knowledge of holding together through the greatest cataclysms of change.

Real security is to be found in the ability to flow with the changes that life presents us with. To fully become our wholeness we must allow for encounters with, and knowledge of, the parts of ourselves that rock the limited identity our ego has constructed to keep us safe. But let’s not sell the ego short; it is fully capable of the growth to fluidity that is necessary to accept life on its own terms without machinations to make it palatable.

Bring your ego to the beach of your dreams tonight. It’s fine to rest comfortably on the shore and attune to the rhythm of change. The time will come when you are ready, or not, for the deeper plunge into the ocean of pulsing life and constant unrelenting change. Real security is found in flowing with the changes, wherever they take you.

Resting comfortably on the beach, until the next wave comes along,
Chuck

Chuck’s Place: The Three Vexations

[Here is Chuck’s blog for this week. We are dealing with some computer issues and thus no pictures accompany this post. Look for a blog from Jan later in the week. In the meantime, here is some good stuff to ponder as you take your own deepening journey. And don’t forget to check in each morning for our daily Soulbytes!]

In his 1477 poem, the Ordinal of Alchemy, Thomas Norton, the English alchemist, warns any seeker of this Sacred Art of three major trials: haste, despair, and deception. These three devils are the gargoyles that all would-be adepts must pass by if they are to find the path to achieve the Opus, the Grail Cup.

In modern terms, seekers of individuation through the path of psychotherapy and recapitulation will meet these same vexations cast upon their conscious intent.

Norton states: “He who is in a hurry will complete his work neither in a month, nor yet in a year, and in this Art it will always be true that the man [or woman] who is in a hurry will never be without matter of complaint…” (Anatomy of the Psyche, Edinger, p. 5)

We enter psychotherapy because life circumstances have mobilized our ego intent to find resolution to the conflicts that thwart our fulfillment. Our mobilized ego is frustrated or in great pain and is highly pressured to achieve freedom from these constraints. These are the conditions that set the stage for haste. We want to move on quickly, move deeper into life. We do not want to suffer a moment longer.

The rationalistic psychologies of the modern world promise just such results with well-laid out plans and programs promising great success. Would that the problems that befront us were all of the world of reason! Unfortunately, to solve our deepest issues we must sink into the depths of nature, far beyond the purview of reason. And for this healing adventure the ego’s demand for results in a timely fashion will only be met with disappointment and complaint. To enter the depths of the psyche we enter a world outside our familiar space and time where we must acquiesce to the healing tides of nature.

“If the enemy does not prevail against you with hurry, he will assualt you with despondency, and will be constantly putting into your minds discouraging thoughts, how those who seek this Art are many, while they are few who find it, and how those who fail are often wiser…than yourself.” (Ibid., p. 5)

Deflation of the ego, diminished self-worth and self-esteem, negative thinking, doubt that things will ever get better—these are the many faces of despair that seek to derail the concerted effort needed to prevail through the long, arduous, and often physically painful and emotionally terrifying journey into the inferno of recapitulation. A willingness to keep the candle of intent lit within the self, even though one feels utterly alone and abandoned as one takes the journey into the abyss, is critical if one is to prevail through this trial of despair.

“The third enemy whom you must guard against is deceit, and this is perhaps more dangerous than the other two…” (Ibid., p. 5)

By deceit, I believe Norton is referring to the helpers who come to serve the journey. Many of these so called “helpers” are the characters of the shadow self, entities that offer insights or respites in the form of inflations and addictions in exchange for allowing them to act out or take possession of our lives as we traverse our journey.

There are many tricksters within the self promising treasures in exchange for habits that subtlely drain our energy and resolve as we struggle to keep our course set on our goal of wholeness. Many an oasis offered can be a tricky resting place, claiming decades of our lives while we wait to awaken from our slumbers in a poppy field of a needed break.

Know that the vexations of haste, despair, and deception are the guardians of all paths of heart. They cannot be avoided. Better to see them as worthy opponents that forge us into the Grail Cup that can fully contain our wholeness, the goal of the opus.

We are all taking the journey in one form or another,
Chuck

A Day in a Life: Third Step Of Recapitulation

Recapitulation means daring to go into the shadows of self, searching for clarity... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Recapitulation means daring to go into the shadows of self, searching for clarity…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The third step of recapitulation is doing the work. This work involves active participation. It involves making a commitment, even if you have to reassert that commitment multiple times, reminding the self that this work of recapitulation is the means by which transformation will eventually come. It is taking the inner journey, going far deeper than imaginable.

It means showing up for the work on a regular schedule, with intent to go the distance. It also involves steps one and two—acknowledging that something is wrong and being open to what comes to guide you—as all steps build on and incorporate each other.

The main tool of recapitulation is the magical pass of the recapitulation breath, sometimes called the sweeping breath. It’s very simple. It involves just breathing in while turning the head in one direction, breathing out while turning the head to the other side, while simultaneously reviewing an event from our past or even our present. As we turn our head from side to side and view this event we go into a sort of dream state, an altered state where what happened to us becomes clearer and clearer. We become calmer too. Once we have viewed the event and fully exhaled all the old energy of the event, the final pass is to hold the breath for a few back and forth sweeps of the head, sealing in our own energy now regained. We know that we have reached completion when the event no longer grabs our attention in any way, but is simply neutral.

What the work will be each day depends on you, on your readiness, on your preparation, on your openness, fearlessness, and your determination to face what comes. This third step means taking responsibility for the journey. One of the first things to learn in this step is how to let go of judgements. One must discover how one personally judges the self and others.

Learning to be nonjudgmental means listening to what you say, how you say it, and asking whether or not what you are saying is true. This was a transformative moment for me in my own recapitulation. Once I understood how I constructed the world through my judgments, and as I heard myself attach judgments to just about everything, I began to understand how those judgments cloaked my defenses. In my cloak of judgments I felt safe, but in reality I was just restricted and confined. This step of the work can be mind-blowing, as we begin to understand the agreements we’ve made in life based on our judgments and our defenses and how those agreements have both taken us on our journey but also taken our energy.

As we confront our judgments and understand our defenses our deepest issues make more sense to us. We gain a new perspective as we understand how we have lived, why we have done the things we have done, and how we have gotten ourselves into the predicaments that we have. We learn how to observe ourselves from many different angles, from many perspectives. We learn how to study ourselves in a nonjudgmental fashion. As we begin to shed our cloak of judgments, our defenses begin to shed too; we just don’t need them anymore. Gradually we release ourselves, and others, from the old beliefs and ideas that once constructed our lives and we begin constructing ourselves in a new, more personally relevant way.

Things become crystal clear as we recapitulate... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Things become crystal clear as we recapitulate…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

As we change how we view the world, we also change how we live in the world. As we shed our fears we become less fearful, life is less frightening and we are less frightened of it. As we become less judgmental we become more receptive; we become kinder and gentler to ourselves and others. As we shed our traumas we gain hope and optimism, a little bit more each day. As we challenge ourselves to be a little bit more daring in life, we discover that life meets us in a new way and we begin to shed our negativity, our sense of loneliness, our depression. These things are also part of the work: facing our fears, challenging ourselves to be daring, letting life in as we go out into life in a new and more open way.

Frightened people shut down parts of themselves to keep them safe, but in recapitulating we work at bringing out into life those shut down parts of ourselves, allowing them to have new and different experiences from in the past, better experiences. But all of this change and new life does not happen by itself. We must initiate it. We are fully responsible for moving our recapitulation along and daring ourselves to test what we have been learning, breathing our way forward one sweeping breath at a time.

We do get stuck sometimes. It’s inevitable. And when we are stuck there is usually something we must learn, but sometimes we are stuck because we are scared to move on. We’re more comfortable staying in a bad place because its familiar and we don’t have to challenge ourselves. In such instances our recapitulation is telling us to hoist ourselves up and out of our slump and take over our own lives, letting go of constantly blaming others for our predicament. I learned that blame was as useless as worry. It got me nowhere. When I would find myself blaming others again, I’d take over with renewed fierceness. I’d reassert my intent, more determined than ever to move things along. I found out that if I wanted to be defeated then blame was ready to defeat me every time.

Recapitulation asks us constantly to take responsibility for our journey. No matter where we have been or what has happened to us, we can move on into new life without attachment, shed of our past by our own deep inner work. When we take responsibility for our own life by recapitulating, we are preparing ourselves for taking charge of our lives in the future. We make things happen rather than let them happen to us. And then we are no longer a victim of our circumstances but a creator of them. And that’s the transformational work we want to be doing!

If we are doing a traditional recapitulation as defined by the Shamans of Ancient Mexico this third step of doing the work may take a year or two, as we make a list of all the people we have ever had contact with and recapitulate every encounter with them. If we are doing a recapitulation that involves trauma or abuse this step may take a lot longer, years or decades even. It takes patience and fortitude, but with good support we more than succeed.

Yeah, we're all in there somewhere... waiting to bloom! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Yeah, we’re all in there somewhere…
waiting to bloom!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

In recapitulation we accept the truths of our lives and discover who we truly we are. As we turn our focus inward we learn that we have what it takes to give ourselves what we did not get from others. Perhaps our parents were incapable of giving us what we wanted, but as we recapitulate and become more tender with ourselves we might begin to see how they lived restricted lives as well, unable to do the deep work that we dare ourselves to do every day of our own lives now. This is when we begin to understand what compassion really means.

Recapitulation offers tools for reviewing daily events and the techniques by which we can release from them and move on. It offers the means to learning what love really is, what compassion means, and what interconnectedness means. It’s a constantly evolving process.

Breathing in and out and letting go,
Jan