Tag Archives: ego

Chuck’s Place: Trickster To Trickster

At a certain level of reality, I and We become One. Growth might be defined as an ever-expanding realization of our essential Oneness. In the meantime, we grapple with the discovery, ownership, and coordination of our many parts.

Who is really in charge here? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Who is really in charge here?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Within the self of every “individual” are many parts: some known, many unknown, and still others disowned. Psychology has coined the terms conscious and unconscious to differentiate between those parts that we know about from those that we don’t know about but also are.

At the center of the known self—the seat of consciousness—is the ego. The ego has many “parts,” including the “face” it shows the world, called the persona, as well as a younger child state, and an adult state. Each of these parts has its own ambitions, needs, and motives. Being conscious “parts” allows each of these centers to have relative accessibility to awareness. That is, we are basically familiar with these states of being. They may, and often do, squabble among themselves.

For instance, the persona—the actor that we present to the world—often sees itself as the true self. The fact that I am a psychotherapist is indeed a real part of me, however, it is not the whole of who I am.

In another example, the adult ego, with its capacity to plan, organize, and make things happen, may trump the needs and desires of its child part, who wants to play.

The permutation of struggles at the ego level alone are staggering, particularly when the parts become tricksters in their maneuvering.

Trickster is a character who has an ulterior motive, a secret ambition or intention that powers its behavior. Trickster has little interest in fairness, cooperation, or consciousness. It’s goal is to get what it wants.

Trickster may be intelligent and cunning, or foolish and obvious, but trickster definitely does not play by the rules. Nonetheless, if we are willing to slow down the action and reflect, the trickster in all our conscious parts can be identified and a resolution to contradictory motives becomes possible.

However, when we approach the depths of the unconscious mind the plot thickens, as trickster can allude all but a very determined introspection.

The unconscious mind, all that we don’t know of who we are, is composed of countless layers. The uppermost region houses all that once was conscious but for a myriad of reasons has been erased from conscious awareness. Here we find many traumatic experiences, as well as parts of the ego-potential deemed unworthy of development.

Traumatic parts have a life of their own and often function as tricksters bent on being discovered by the conscious mind. For instance, a news item on TV might trigger an intense emotional overreaction, brought on by a traumatic memory insisting on being consciously redeemed.

Similarly, rejected ego parts—forming what Jung called the shadow—may function as tricksters by projecting a compelling but distorted perception onto the motives  of a friend or foe that actually reflects the true feelings of the rejected inner part but completely distorts outer reality.

As we go deeper into the unconscious mind we encounter what Jung called the anima/animus parts, the contrasexual components of the psyche, unrealized at a conscious level. These parts have their trickster ability to project themselves in powerful attractions to people in the world that distort completely who they really are. These trickster entrapments form the core of many troubled relationships.

At the center of the unconscious mind is the Self, the CEO of the entire psyche. The role of the Self is to establish balance in the entire psyche—conscious and unconscious. The Self is the higher power of the psyche. Ideally, the ego center of the conscious personality will subordinate itself to the dictates of the Self, which has the interests of the greater whole in mind.

Unfortunately, the ego often takes on its own trickster side, subverting the true needs of the Self, using all its power for decision and free will to accomplish its own aims.

If the imbalance thereby generated is too extreme, the Self counters with its own trickster side and generates symptoms of fear in the ego, such as an agoraphobia, where the ego can’t leave the house. To rein the ego in, the Self can also create psychosomatic symptoms, such as panic attacks or physical illness, to interfere with the ego’s willfulness.

The Self might also generate dreams that preempt the ego’s control through a terrifying nightmare that restores the waking ego to humility.

Yup, that says it all! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Yup, that says it all!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The difference between Self as trickster and all the other personality parts as trickster is its selfless intentions. The Self seeks unity and balance as its aim. When the other parts of the personality employ the trickster, it generally reflects a power play to meet individual needs, often at the expense of the greater needs of the overall Self.

The Self is only forced to become the trickster when the ego refuses to listen to its guidance. When the ego, like a good General, looks to the Self as Ruler, the Self responds with supportive guidance, energy, and freedom from symptoms.

So, trickster to trickster, stay in alignment with the Self, a much smoother ride to wholeness!

Bumping along,

Chuck

 

Chuck’s Place: From Specialness To Super Love

One of our animal co-inhabitants... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
One of our animal co-inhabitants…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

What distinguishes us from our animal co-inhabitants on this planet is ego. Animals live and limit their lives through their neatly defined instincts, which tell them when it’s time to eat, procreate, and defend, and when it’s time to turn off those instinctive drives. Animals don’t overeat, overpopulate, or over defend.

In contrast, the human animal, burdened with the added instinct of ego, must contend with the ego’s instinct to exert its power over the other basic instincts, as well as obtain a high level of validation from others as to its value, lovability, and importance.

Being the newest instinct on the evolutionary block, ego suffers from a basic immaturity in self-regulation and a deep insecurity as to its true worth as it takes up its place among the older, more well-established instincts housed in the human body.

The ego longs to feel special in an effort to override its deep uncertainty over its ability to manage the personality, the body, and the overall direction of its human life. Its insatiable need for validation draws it to seek constant attention from the world to assure it of its worth and desirability.

In fact, what we call love, co-opted by ego, is often an attempt to fill this deep hole of insecurity with a sense of specialness mirrored through the attention obtained through a partner. In fact, ego considers it its inalienable, birth-given right to feel special. The ego’s litmus test for true love is the ability of another to make it feel special.

Often the ego gives with the hidden motive of being validated for its “selflessness,” as well as to be given to in return. Carlos Castaneda never tired of pointing out this merchant mentality underlying our definition of love. He challenged us to consider that true love was a blank check, given not from a place of codependency but from a purely loving place, no strings attached.

Robert Monroe defined this refinement of love as Super Love (SL). He writes: “SL is a continuous radiation, totally nondependent upon like reception or any other form of return whatsoever. SL is.”

Super Moon Love... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Super Moon Love…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Monroe learned, during his many explorations of life beyond the body, that SL is an energy that exists throughout the dimensions, beyond life in this world.

However, life in this world offers one of the best places to access and refine SL, through the experiential evolutionary learning opportunities available through our many incarnations in this world.

The raw material of Super Love is to be found in the nurturing, sexual, romantic, and dependent relationships we long for and experience in our many lives and roles in this world.

The utter necessity for emotional attachment to begin life and to thrive in this world, coupled with the ego’s long path to maturity as it grapples with its identity and value, causes it to grasp for love with its brand of specialness for many lifetimes.

Ultimately, the insatiability of its quest and the emptiness of its fulfillment set the stage for the ego to come clean and admit the difference between its neediness and true Super Love.

Once this is realized, the ego it also ready to realize that the latent energy of SL has been veiled behind its quest for specialness all along. Ego comes to understand that attachment is really an attempt to solve its insecurities and that being special has really been all about assuaging those insecurities.

Once ego is ready to give up its ventures in specialness it gains access to the radiance of Super Love.

What it's all about... - Art & Photo by Jan Ketchel
What it’s all about…
– Art & Photo by Jan Ketchel

Super Love is totally detached from specialness and reciprocity. Super Love is. It radiates. It isn’t offended. It encompasses all.

We all have it. We all are it. And if we are here, we are also deeply engaged in the process of refining it.

SL,

Chuck

Quote from Robert Monroe, Far Journeys, p. 257.

Chuck’s Place: Why Am I Here?

Denial is strong. But it hardly matters. The changes the channels have forecast are indeed upon us. “Anything is possible” is unfolding daily upon the world stage.

Why am I here too? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Why am I here too?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

If you are alive today, in human form, you are indeed a part of this sweeping energy of change. What a magnificent time to be here! I suggest, to make the most of the opportunity, everyone of us address the question: Why am I personally here upon this earth at this time of unprecedented change?

The answer to this question lies in where we put our energy, attention, and deepest longing. I stress deepest longing because planet Earth is the playing field of attachment. Robert Monroe went so far as to call Earth the “planet of addiction.”

Attachment and addiction run hand in hand. If you are on this planet you had to emotionally attach. You are seeking something. Until you run the course of that desire, you will not be ready to move on. That is a pretty accurate description of addiction: running the course with an attachment until you’ve learned what you need to learn, or are completely fulfilled and bored, ready to release and move on to new adventure.

As I see it, the planet we are alive on is in a major phase of restructuring. Very clearly, human attachments or addictions have resulted in such an unsustainable environment that the Earth is being challenged in its ability to sustain life altogether. Clearly, the overload of human desire, with its myriad of attachments, has come to a point of total saturation.

The restructuring I speak of is an evolutionary advance that refines our relation to attachments. We must advance from ego want to Self need. Self here is defined as the greater whole of what we are versus the narrow, isolated ego that puts its wants and desires over that of the greater Self, within and without.

If we inventory our deepest driving desires, we might discover them to be issuing from ego’s desire for comfort, security, and attention of the kind that ego calls love. Ego is desperate to achieve its aims because ego, devoid of a connection to its greater self, knows only getting its needs met in the immediacy of this life—and it’s desperate to do so!

Resolution may lie in Investigating life and the self on the deepest level... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Resolution may lie in Investigating life and the self on the deepest level…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

With the ego in a leadership role of decision making, this can lead to many repetitive, poor decisions for the personality and the planet. Only in turning inward and discovering the greater Self, and acquiescing to its guidance and true needs, can we advance individually and evolutionarily as a species.

Ego on its own is addicted to the pursuit of its attachments, come what may! Ego serving the heart-centered true needs of the Self brings the personality and world itself into interconnected balance.

We are all here to advance beyond our attachments/addictions, to a greater Self and a greater world that drops its illusions and restores balance. That is the contribution we are all afforded in this time of great change and great advance.

May we all advance together,
Chuck

Additional reading: Here is another posting with the same title, channeled back in September 2007 that offers guidance in the process that Chuck writes about in his blogpost today: #153 Why Am I Here

Chuck’s Place: Buffalo Soldier

Life reflects the dilemma of our energy body... - Photo by Chuck Ketchel
Life reflects the dilemma of our energy body…
– Photo by Chuck Ketchel

The human body is an animal. The human animal is the host of the energy body, the mental and emotional part of ourselves that generates the thoughts and desires that largely determine the fate of our physical, animal body.

It is the energy body that leaves our physical form upon physical death. Yet, while in physical form, this separate energy body—or soul—controls, like a dog on a leash, the activities of the physical body in daily life, determining its health and care.

Our food choices are not made by the physical body; they are made by the desires and rules of the energy body. Our sleep patterns too are largely determined by the wants and interests of the energy body.

Our obsession with pets is largely a projection of empathy and love for our animal physical body selves, largely dominated by the whims of our energy body. Our energy body is a more subtle body that tends to use the physical body to experience its wants and ideas through the sensory systems available in the human body, thus the pleasures of excitement can be played out in the sweets and spices we consume in our food and drink.

Left to its own natural predilection, the human animal self might select food that it really needs to remain in optimal health. Mental constructions, however, result in behaviors that often override the body’s true needs, either through restriction or overindulgence. Rarely is the human animal body ever included in decisions that reflect its wellbeing, rather it simply goes along with the dictates of the subtler energy body.

Last week, fifteen buffalo herded together and broke through the confines of a ranch in Rensselaer County in upstate New York. They swam across the Hudson River and then sauntered across a major interstate highway until they were finally slaughtered in nearby woods. They utilized the power of their innate archetypal herding instinct to break through their condition of servitude. I can’t help but applaud those buffalo soldiers as they danced their final dance in this world in utter freedom.

Two days later, Gaia herself violently shook her body self as thousands were swallowed in Nepal, that most ancient holy country. What is the message here, in these two recent examples of energy gone wild?

We are all energy beings entwined with physical animal bodies, our hosts while in physical life, charged with treating the earth with spiritual leadership. When we tyrannize the earth, the animals, and even our own animal selves, treating them as playthings for our ethereal pleasures, then Gaia, the buffalo, and our own physical bodies rebel and refuse to be partners on our spiritual journey.

Our mission as energy bodies entwined with our animal host selves, on a spiritual level, is to resolve our karmic challenges with the materials that life on earth offers us. Our gift to the earth in exchange is to enliven the spirit potential of this physical world to evolve itself in new directions.

The sketch Jan made in her journal as she contemplated her dream...
The sketch Jan made in her journal as she contemplated her dream…

The problem for humans is that their purest spirit intentions, as they come into physical life, get clouded over in the rich darkness of earth’s soil. It’s our journey in this life to release our karma as we journey from the darkness to find our way back to the light of spirit—pure consciousness of the truth. This morning Jan awoke with a dream that clarifies and illustrates the drama of this dilemma.

Here is Jan’s dream as she described it to me: “Come on, I said, let’s take a walk. I thought I was walking with another person. My observer self, who hovered behind and above me, however, pointed out: It has no legs! As I turned to look at the being beside me, I saw that I was walking beside a large paper-thin black square out of which hung a tendril of root. The root almost touched the ground as the sheet of blackness floated beside me. I realized that this black shadowy figure was my ego. Then I realized that everything that I am and seek to be is inside me; I am all I need. Ego was a shadow entity that inhabited me, clearly not human. I realized I no longer needed it. I knew that I just had to follow the Tao.”

The shadow square of Jan’s dream is a mandala, the representation of the spirit embodied in the energy body who then projects its ethereal self into the physical body as an ego. The ego is the spirit, or energy body representative, rooted in the physical body. But the truth is, it has no legs. It’s really an empty shadow. However, in human life it becomes the active force, the ruler of life. In its shadow state it is not oriented to spirit and uses the energy body for its own desires and appetites. This exploitation has resulted in the protests of Gaia and her buffalo, who bravely contest our inferior leadership.

The resolution of our human karmic dilemma is for the spirit’s energy body representative in human form, the ego, to find its way and eventually acquiesce to the dictates of the heart chakra, where the true intent of the spirit resides in what Aurobindo called the Psychic Being.

The quest for freedom requires that the ego self, like the buffalo, must lead itself out of the confines of servitude to the physical and into the light, graciously giving up its life for the evolution of the spirit. In the final analysis, the march for freedom is always death of the physical, ego included.

The heart chakra center of the energy body is grounded in the Tao and knows only truth, compassion, and right action. The Tao elevates everything to a spiritual level. Humanity elevated to this level sheds its shadow ego and aligns with the light of spirit, burning through its karma and leading earth into proper balance and evolution. It is the goal of all our spirits.

Chuck dancing with the spirit of the buffaloes... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Chuck dancing with the spirit of the buffaloes…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Our dear animal friends, the buffalo, teach us that tyranny is wrong action and that the quest for freedom is all that matters. This is spirit lived at the highest level, life shedding the tyranny of illusion, marching forward into the unknown, bringing light into new frontiers.

I honor those mighty Buffalo Soldiers, as did Bob Marley: Buffalo Soldier.

Dancing with the buffalo soldiers,
Chuck

A Day in a Life: Shedding Ego Of Its Egocentricity

My ego makes an appearance in dreaming. It wants to be selected to participate in a cross-country ski race, sure it will win. It is not even considered, though it makes itself known, insisting that it be picked. Someone else, however, is selected for the team. The selection committee does not even notice my ego, in fact seems to be ignoring it on purpose despite its loud and obnoxious attempt to be seen and heard. My dreaming observer self is aware of how ludicrous the ego’s insistence is because I am totally out of shape for such a feat, have not skied in years, and I don’t even own a pair of skis. None of this matters to my ego. It inflates and inflates, totally ignoring all the obvious truths.

Can I shed all that I perceive I am in service of a higher self? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Can I shed all that I perceive I am
in service of a higher self?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

My ego, which keeps a pretty low profile in waking life, must have needed an outlet, for it surely came to life in my dream. I have to laugh at how big it was, how insistent in spite of the truth! Perhaps far better to let it play out its issues of inflation in a bardo dream, especially designed for its drama, allowing waking life to be relieved of its struggles.

About 14 years ago, when I was doing my recapitulation, I had a sadly deflated ego. It was all I could do to wake it up and make my way in the world. A little too deflated, it rarely stood up for me, rarely was so insistent as in my dream. I worked on it and got it into alignment with the life I was building, a post-divorce, post-recapitulation life where I needed a well-rounded ego and a good sense of self-worth. Since then I have discovered that the ego comes in many colors, wears many costumes, and makes many appearances.

A couple of weeks ago in my blog entitled Gazing, I wrote about being guided to understand that if one is to reach a true place of love, compassion, kindness and to experience the oneness of everything, one of the most important things is to shed the ego’s self interest. It’s a constant process because, as my guidance explained, everything is egocentric. Even my writing this blog and hoping that someone will find it helpful—a good intention—is egocentric. But this is what I do, it’s part of who I am, so I will continue to write this blog, but then I will let it go and move on, no attachment to outcome. That is one way to deal with ego. Do the job before you, do it impeccably, and then move on. There is rarely a need to turn back if the job is done right the first time. This is our ego serving the needs of the higher self.

Often my ego is sluggish. It refuses to do certain things, only wants to do what it wants. It’s pretty annoying then. Such a time is not a time for shedding, but instead a time to pry it out of the mud and get it moving. Only after missions are accomplished, fully, is it appropriate to retire the ego. We could not function in the world if we did not keep our ego in good shape.

So, how does an ego in good shape act and feel? Well, an ego in good shape is in alignment with our spirit’s intent to live an ever-evolving life. It isn’t too inflated or too deflated. It resides in alignment with our spirit, inside and outside, within the natural ebb and flow of our life. It’s pliable, eager to learn, and yet also sometimes recalcitrant as all heck. Whatever the ego presents is probably a true picture of where we are in our lives, what our key issues are, and what we must work on. It’s a pretty good barometer of how we are really feeling from day to day too.

At some point it becomes appropriate to turn our back on our ego and join our spirit... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
At some point it becomes appropriate to turn our back on our ego and join our spirit…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

An ego in alignment and balance knows when to act, when to react, and when to back down. It reads the energy of a situation and makes a decision about whether or not its worth a fight and why. Often the ego may jump ahead and do something before thoughtful contemplation has a chance to intercede and that might cause issues. Other times it’s not quick enough and that will also cause issues. All of this takes time and attention before the ego is naturally in balance with spirit all the time, which might take most of a lifetime, or many lifetimes. I know, I’m still working on it! These are just some of the instances that might arise as the ego navigates the outer world. The ego in the inner world is another creature altogether.

This ego, made up of thoughts, ideas, voices, is often connected to the child self, the unfulfilled self, the negative or positive self, the happy-go-lucky self, the unstoppable self, the fearful self, the demeaning self, or any number of alter egos. This ego is the judge, the one who makes decisions and keeps a running commentary going, who criticizes and gets angry. This is the ego that speaks volumes as well, who notices every little thing that’s right, that’s wrong, that’s gone unnoticed, unappreciated, or is perfect and should not change at all. It is not shy about pointing all these things out either. This ego can get us into as much trouble as the outer ego because it contains all the same parts, known and unknown, freed and held back, expressed and unexpressed. As the guidance in Gazing told me, everything is ego attachment, and thus eventually everything needs to be shed.

Such advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Far better to have ego imbalance than to shed too much too fast. When we are ready the shedding happens naturally. When I was twenty-one I sure needed an ego. That age is a time of ego-building in the world, as one sets out to find out what life has in store, as one learns about the world and how to live in it and survive.

Everyone experiences life at their own pace, equipped with whatever they have when they start out. Some people are gifted with healthy egos right from the start, others less so, but all of us must strive to get them in balance. As I learned, a deflated ego was as detrimental as an overly inflated one. I was always quick to notice a big ego in someone else, but did I feel any more superior because of not having such an inflated ego? Not in the least, my self-esteem was in the pits and it never afforded me much compensatory feeling. I was still who I was, no matter who someone else turned out to be.

And so, as we build our egos we also learn how they tend to be approached, treated, admired, defeated and even trampled on. If we are aware of the work to be done, determined to get that ego into alignment so that it does not always feel so bruised, we are open and ready to take everything as a learning ground. We pick ourselves up and go out again and again into the world, even if we don’t want to, because we know we have to. We know we are on a journey that serves a higher purpose.

We all have to grow up, and part of that growing up is presenting our egos to the world. It’s in the outer ego’s trials and tribulations that we temper and tame the inner ego’s judgments, criticisms, and outlandish ideas. Between the two, we have everything we need to succeed at getting into alignment with what our spirit has in store for us, to eventually evolve into beings of love, kindness, and compassion.

Eventually, a nice blending is achieved... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Eventually, a nice blending is achieved…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

If we are to become such evolved beings then, yes, we must constantly attend to and relativize our egos. It is the role of the ego, as an independent entity, to serve the spirit. And so, aspirations independent of spirit need to constantly be shed.

In other words: just as ego is the parent of the child self, so is ego the child of the spirit self. And just as the child self must merge with the ego, so ego’s will must be merged with spirit. This is true shedding of the ego. Once that occurs we become the gentle, nonjudgmental, kind and compassionate beings that we all really are, spirit beings, who are not only believers of love but are love, loving beings all the time, to everyone and to everything.

This emergence of spirit self is, in the end, the true shedding of the ego self. And then, when we shed the body, when we are ready to meet the infinite, we will glide right on into the oneness of everything, for there will be no ego stopping us, arguing with us, afraid or concerned. We will be in total alignment with spirit, with all of life, with the natural easing out of one form and into another.

Always shedding,
Jan