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Chuck’s Place: From Specialness To Super Love

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One of our animal co-inhabitants... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
One of our animal co-inhabitants…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

What distinguishes us from our animal co-inhabitants on this planet is ego. Animals live and limit their lives through their neatly defined instincts, which tell them when it’s time to eat, procreate, and defend, and when it’s time to turn off those instinctive drives. Animals don’t overeat, overpopulate, or over defend.

In contrast, the human animal, burdened with the added instinct of ego, must contend with the ego’s instinct to exert its power over the other basic instincts, as well as obtain a high level of validation from others as to its value, lovability, and importance.

Being the newest instinct on the evolutionary block, ego suffers from a basic immaturity in self-regulation and a deep insecurity as to its true worth as it takes up its place among the older, more well-established instincts housed in the human body.

The ego longs to feel special in an effort to override its deep uncertainty over its ability to manage the personality, the body, and the overall direction of its human life. Its insatiable need for validation draws it to seek constant attention from the world to assure it of its worth and desirability.

In fact, what we call love, co-opted by ego, is often an attempt to fill this deep hole of insecurity with a sense of specialness mirrored through the attention obtained through a partner. In fact, ego considers it its inalienable, birth-given right to feel special. The ego’s litmus test for true love is the ability of another to make it feel special.

Often the ego gives with the hidden motive of being validated for its “selflessness,” as well as to be given to in return. Carlos Castaneda never tired of pointing out this merchant mentality underlying our definition of love. He challenged us to consider that true love was a blank check, given not from a place of codependency but from a purely loving place, no strings attached.

Robert Monroe defined this refinement of love as Super Love (SL). He writes: “SL is a continuous radiation, totally nondependent upon like reception or any other form of return whatsoever. SL is.”

Super Moon Love... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Super Moon Love…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Monroe learned, during his many explorations of life beyond the body, that SL is an energy that exists throughout the dimensions, beyond life in this world.

However, life in this world offers one of the best places to access and refine SL, through the experiential evolutionary learning opportunities available through our many incarnations in this world.

The raw material of Super Love is to be found in the nurturing, sexual, romantic, and dependent relationships we long for and experience in our many lives and roles in this world.

The utter necessity for emotional attachment to begin life and to thrive in this world, coupled with the ego’s long path to maturity as it grapples with its identity and value, causes it to grasp for love with its brand of specialness for many lifetimes.

Ultimately, the insatiability of its quest and the emptiness of its fulfillment set the stage for the ego to come clean and admit the difference between its neediness and true Super Love.

Once this is realized, the ego it also ready to realize that the latent energy of SL has been veiled behind its quest for specialness all along. Ego comes to understand that attachment is really an attempt to solve its insecurities and that being special has really been all about assuaging those insecurities.

Once ego is ready to give up its ventures in specialness it gains access to the radiance of Super Love.

What it's all about... - Art & Photo by Jan Ketchel
What it’s all about…
– Art & Photo by Jan Ketchel

Super Love is totally detached from specialness and reciprocity. Super Love is. It radiates. It isn’t offended. It encompasses all.

We all have it. We all are it. And if we are here, we are also deeply engaged in the process of refining it.

SL,

Chuck

Quote from Robert Monroe, Far Journeys, p. 257.

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Chuck’s Place: Refined Innocence

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Innocence, in its purest form, is an affect found in youth. The emotional energy of innocence is expressed as a feeling of excited anticipation and joyful response as a child discovers and befriends a welcoming, magical world.

Innocence, pure and open, receptive... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Innocence, pure and open, receptive…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Adults melt at the glitter in the eye and the spontaneous burst of laughter as the child greets new life for the first time. The innocent child is yet to be fettered with judgment, rejection, fear, cynicism, and shame. The innocent child’s wonder is open, receptive, and trusting that the world is loving and equally receptive to being met and played with.

Most adults collude to uphold a protected magical world for the young child that screens out the reality of disease, old age, and death. Thus a child’s innocence is encouraged to develop and strengthen, as adults know the precious value of a child’s innocence despite their knowing also of its inevitable loss as the deeper truths of life eventually intrude on this early paradise.

The New Testament Bible states: “Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (Mark 10:15)

This Biblical passage is abundantly clear: to restore oneself to the innocence of the child is the only key to entering heaven. If heaven is the destination after completion of our journeys in this world then innocence is the gold we must refine in this life to obtain entrance into our infinite journey.

Such a paradox this life! The child is born with the very innocence that life in this world will of necessity contaminate and yet, in order to progress, it must be retrieved and refined to the highest level to achieve the enlightenment to grow beyond this world.

Innocence, by design, is contaminated by the time and space parameters of this world. All whom the innocent child bonds with will eventually change, frustrate, disappoint, and die. This reality must eventuate in a loss of innocence as the child meets the dark side of life and then must submit to the adaptive armor against the pain of lost innocence and the inevitable longing it generates.

Finding balance in light and dark... - Photo by Chuck Ketchel
Finding balance in light and dark…
– Photo by Chuck Ketchel

Herein lies our true mission in this life, to pick up the remnants of our lost innocence and meld them into a highly refined innocence capable of living in the true nature of reality, in both its light and its dark sides.

In our earthly existence, the dark side of reality is that everything changes, everything dies, nothing is forever in an unchanged form. Try as we might to hold back change through grasping onto our attachments, they will be ripped away. And further, grasping onto a refusal to be hurt again is really just another attempt at holding onto an unchanging self.

The longing of lost innocence, sequestered to the shadows of a closed heart, will not be silenced by suppression or repression for very long. Eventually, it will erupt in consciousness, in impulsive acts, or by pulling us downward into its torment via a depression that demands an inner journey of recapitulation to resolve.

That recapitulation journey requires us to relive the experiences of our lives that once jarred and fragmented our innocence, to willingly re-experience the painful encounters that sent our shamed younger selves running for sanctuary.

What is most required during the recapitulation journey is that our adult/ego/parent selves stay fully present as the full emotional torment of those encounters, along with the confusions and misconceptions that shroud the original innocence, are relived.

This process of receiving with open arms and heart the broken pieces of lost innocence by the adult self is the internal alchemical oven of transformation. Full acceptance of the full truth of one’s self releases innocence from judgment but also aids its maturation. The truth is, for innocence to really return to the living personality it must broaden to the dual nature of time space reality and expand its level of tolerance for disappointments, endings, and the unexpected.

For innocence to journey into the unfathomable it must be able to flow with what is. And what is sometimes hurts. Refined innocence is not naive to this possibility and in its wisdom will choose, when it can, what influences to open to and those to avoid.

Nonetheless though, a journeyer is always aware that to remain open to the full adventure of real life necessitates openness to being caught off guard as we enter the unknown. However, rather than fragment in encounters with the unexpected, refined innocence owns the resilience of non-attachment. That is, non-attachment to outcome, to being offended, to things always remaining known and unchanging.

In recapitulation comes the opportunity for melding... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
With recapitulation comes the opportunity for mature melding…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

With non-attachment and full engagement, refined innocence leads from the place of awe and unreserved compassion for all engaged in the miracle of being. Yes, refined innocence is indeed the key to the Kingdom.

Ultimately, our stay in this world is really to graduate from the School of Refined Innocence. With this graduate degree we obtain the passport, the necessary readiness, to embark on new and deeper journeys in infinity.

Studying for exams,

Chuck

 

 

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Random Acts Of Shadow?

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Shootings galore. A hero stabbed. Arson in a spiritual mecca. Massacre at a peace rally. Suicide of an innocent youth.

Of light and dark are we all... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Of light and dark are we all…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Someone asked me what I thought about bipolar disorder. I answered that we must first consider that bipolarity is the inherent condition of the human species: beings of consciousness, beings of animal instinct; beings of light, beings of shadow.

In the light, we are socialized beings who wear the uniform of morality. In the depths of our darkness we are hunted by the repressed animal within, whose instincts are now marshaled to terrorize, disrupt, and defeat the hegemony of our light spirit self who disowns its shadow.

“It is the law of heaven to make fulness empty and to make full what is modest,” states the I Ching in the hexagram of Modesty.*

When that which is light refuses to acknowledge and integrate its own darkness that darkness will break through in random acts of shadow to recalibrate the bipolar disorder of one-sidedness. That is, nature will correct itself.

The mistake so often made is to misinterpret the cause of violence. The natural tendency is to seek safety and security from the predator “out there.” Is it not becoming clear that the terrorist is coming closer and closer to home? The shadow is blatantly coaxing us to realize that the madness we see erupting all around us is actually the collective shadow we all own.

We can no longer contain and manage this primal force by projecting it onto the black man or the terrorist who we jail and kill. As the shadow encroaches closer and closer to home we must claim ownership and strike a new bipolar balance with our disowned other who paces restlessly in the labyrinth within, awaiting its opportunity to pounce.

But how to make peace with a shadow that threatens our very survival?

Light among the dark? Dark among the light? - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Light among the dark? Dark among the light?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Once I sat with devout Saudi Muslims, the warmest of beings, who when speaking of Israel suddenly assumed the countenance of a sly fox. “You can never trust a Jew,” I was informed.

Once I sat with devout Jews, the warmest of beings, who when speaking of Arabs suddenly assumed the countenance of a sly fox. “You can never trust an Arab,” I was informed.

I felt such love in both meetings, but was struck by the identical perspective they shared, as they each so clearly saw mirrored their own shadow in the eyes of the other. Of course, the rule of the self-fulfilling prophecy plays out here: where there is no trust there is fear, defense, and offense. And so the endless cycle of war replays, each side desperately seeking survival, each side becoming the shadow they see in the other.

Chuck’s Rule Number One: No blame.

As they say in the 12-Step World: don’t take anyone else’s inventory; focus on deeply revealing the truth of the self to the self.

We must know, own, and reckon with the truth of our own shadow side with its deep attachments to its own instincts, hidden desires, greed, and power.

It is not possible to see clearly or speak honestly to another unless we have come to know and accept the truth of our own inner darkness. Short of that, our disowned darkness will be projected upon and reflected in the eyes of the other, be they our partner, family member, fellow citizen, or any other member of our shared species.

Chuck’s Rule Number Two: Value the darkness.

It is rejection of the darkness that has constellated the raging bull of a shadow that now tramples our lives near and far. We no longer have the option of holding back our instincts for the sake of civilization.

The only hope for civilization now is to embrace and reconcile with its full wholeness, light and dark. This is the only way to calm the storms of extreme bipolar disorder that now rock our earth. Our bipolar sides must become friends, valued for their differences, for the balance they bring.

We must abandon forever the one-sided—light—notion of perfection and embrace the dark. We are human animals after all, whose deepest instinctual needs must be addressed if we are to be redeemed from the perils we now face.

Chuck’s Rule Number Three: Compassion.

With deep self-knowledge and self-acceptance we are released to love, rather than confront, our “evil” neighbor. Acceptance of one’s own shadow leads to compassion for everyone, for all human beings are equally saddled with the identical challenge: to become whole through reconciliation with our bipolar light and dark natures.

This late bloomer shines, light and dark fully integrated... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
This late bloomer shines, light and dark fully integrated…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Chuck’s Rule Number Four: There is nothing to fear.

In closing, this is my final rule, that truly there is nothing to fear. Once we face the truth of our own shadow selves, we have faced our deepest enemy: ignorance of who we really are.

Once we have faced the truth of ourselves, there is nothing to fear in the world, and random acts of shadow evolve into an individuated wholeness, ready to take us deeper into the next adventure, as fully integrated bipolar beings of light and dark.

From both sides,

Chuck

*Quote: from the I Ching, Richard Wilhelm translation, Hexagram 15 Modesty, page 63.

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Melding

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“…I lead not one but three lives, hers, mine, and our meld…” Robert Monroe writes these words as he recapitulates another lesson from sleep school where he encounters the death of his partner and the depth of his love for her. As I read his description I know his experience.

I have never missed Jeanne since she left physical form. Her transition was our completion for this physical leg of our journey together. It was our graduation. The truth is, what Monroe calls “our meld” is right here and now, with me in every decision I make and every action I take.

Meld of heaven and earth... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
Meld of heaven and earth…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

I turn to our meld, that energetically merged being we created, and know “we” are in agreement as I come to a decision. At other times, I experience my separate self venturing into new life, kindling love in a new meld. Likewise, her separate self ventures in infinity on journeys I’m not privy to. From our original meld we granted each other the freedom to continue to evolve in both our separateness and our meld.

Our physical completion birthed new separate lives, and though the labor had its challenges the births we delivered ourselves to have been filled with joy. The results of our willingness to let go of where we once were has enabled our three selves—the meld of hers, mine, and ours that Monroe speaks of—to continue to evolve and circle back in the new constellations of the Soul Sisters of Jan and Jeanne, each of whom has shared separate journeys with me in this physical world and yet are joined in a new energetic relationship that allows us to live a magical possibility and share it with others. Anything is indeed possible!

What is required to achieve the magical, however, is detachment. I define detachment here as total acquiescence to the truth: Everything changes. If we can flow with the changes we remain connected and spawn new life and new adventures. If we resist and insist on holding onto an old relationship that has been completed, through death or in some other fashion, we simply are not ready to enter the next magical phase of relationship possibility and evolution.

Okay, you might say, but where’s the union, the sex, when your partner is no longer with you, no longer in the dense physical body state? How can a relationship evolve beyond physicality? Robert Monroe takes up this issue as well. As he explains in his out-of-body night school lesson:

“…that physical sexual drive is not the fundamental of this energy I don’t know what else to call but love, but one of the most common inducements to kindle the process… once the full flame is created, the inducement (sex) is not even the fuel that feeds it, but instead (becomes) a multileveled minor physical note in an infinite cord…”

Perhaps the greatest challenge of our species upon dying is letting go of the idea of our physical body’s desire for union. Many beings are so attached to this need that their energy bodies seek physical union after death, unaware that they have died and no longer have a physical body. Monroe states that of all the energetic bands that surround the earth this is the loudest and densest in population, a band of writhing energy populated by beings desperately seeking sexual union. Their insatiable desire for physical sexual union will only be fulfilled by new life in physical form, though they may writhe in this energy band for centuries before that new life occurs.

There is always the possibility of golden melding... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
There is always the possibility of golden melding…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The lesson Monroe brings back from his encounter with this above mentioned energy band is the actual minor role of sexual union in the true experience and development of love. He calls sex an inducement to, but not actually a vital component of, the process of evolving love. And love is the greatest natural resource of our planet, but it must be refined and evolved to its true grandeur—beyond the inducements of sex and romance—to become a multileveled vehicle for deepening journeys beyond the physical, into infinity.

Of course, while in physical/animal form we must reckon with the instinctual need to reproduce the species and experience the fulfillment of the carnal desires of the body. It is part of life here. However, as Monroe discovers, the true fuel for love is the development of conscious relationship after the romance has relaxed. The creation of meld requires commitment, deep transparency, acceptance, compassion, respect, honesty, resonance, sharing, and a mutual desire for ongoing growth.

Perhaps most important for meld is total acceptance of change. If we can love in full acceptance that things will not stay as they are now then nothing stands in the way of creating a meld that seeds separate lives and a deepening magical adventure in infinity.

Melding,
Chuck

Robert Monroe quotes from: Far Journeys p. 119

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: A Lesson In Action

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No one can control the weather... so why worry! - Photo by Jan Ketchel
No one can control the weather…
so why worry!
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Master out-of-body explorer Robert Monroe discovered, in his inter-dimensional travels, that when we sleep we attend school.

The energy body of human beings leaves its physical body partner every night and goes to classes where it is taught, by those more advanced, on how to wake up to its greater wholeness and advance to fulfillment during its life on earth.

Most of us transition back into our physical body and, as we awaken, quickly forget where we’ve been and what we’ve been taught. Often the lessons take the form of vaguely recalled dreams.

We may reencounter our nightly lessons later on as we move through our day, as they come in deja vu experiences or simply “knowings” that inform our perspective, decisions and actions.

Robert Monroe shared a valuable lesson from one of his nightly classes that he recapitulates in his book, Far Journeys:

“The major underlying cause of human worry relates to the Law of Change. All human conflict relates to this law. Some worry that change will take place, others that is will not. Wars are fought to resist change or to accelerate it.”

“At the individual level,” he goes on, “this translates into various forms of indecision. Fear enters into the pattern, fear of the consequences of any decision or action. The pressure builds up, intensifies as the decision is put off, delayed. The result accumulates toxins in all parts of the human system until there is failure or severe reduction in operating efficiency. Indecision is the Killer.” *

Monroe’s suggests an antidote to indecision by making three lists. On list A, we write all the things we are worried about but can do absolutely nothing about, for example, worrying about what the weather will be like tomorrow. Our task then is to destroy this list. Why spend energy on worrying about things we cannot control?

On list B, we are instructed to list all the items we are worried about that we can do something about today. We are then asked to immediately take some action, however small, on items on this list. These actions will release the flow of damned energy within us.

On list C, we are to write all the hopes, needs, and desires, however large or small, that have yet to be fulfilled. Then we are asked to take one item from this list and perform at least one action today, however small, that advances us toward the fulfillment of this hope, need, or desire.

An alternative, and perhaps more user-friendly approach to the list method is to simply notice when we find ourselves in a state of worry or emptiness and identify what the core issue is and what list it belongs on. If we can’t do anything about it, we throw it away by taking our attention off it, i.e., by focusing on breathing. If we can do something about it, we define and take action, however small, that advances it in its accomplishment.

A few decisions and we could be soaring along on our own revitalized energy... - Photo by Jan Ketchel
A few decisions and we could be soaring along on our own revitalized energy…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

If we follow either of these programs we will indeed reclaim and revitalize energy that has festered in a toxic pool of indecision and inaction. Furthermore, we will emotionally find ourselves on a path of serenity, as our definitive actions will move us closer to unburdening ourselves of worry and advance us more swiftly toward fulfillment.

Whether we remember our nightly lessons or not, we can advance ourselves every day by simply making our lists and taking action. It’s a sure way of releasing toxic energy and taking control of the life we are in, while simultaneously setting us on the path to creating a new, more fulfilling life.

In action,
Chuck

* Quote from: Far Journeys, Robert Monroe, p.80