Monthly Archives: May 2009

Messages from Jeanne

#495 Create Your Own Impetus

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Do you have a message for us today?

My Dear Ones, it is not within my power to do more than guide you. Although my words may offer incentive, so is it up to each of you to take action on your own behalf. Today I urge inner contemplation around your greatest issues of fear, reluctance, and denial of the need for change. Now is the changing time. It is a synchronistically and energetically aligned changing time. It is a vital and valuable time, energetically speaking, for inner growth, but no matter how often or how much emphasis I put on this fact, it will not aid you if you do not accept your responsibility in participating for the good of self.

Even as you elect to confront your basic reasons for sluggishness in taking action, so also realize that others in your life are being confronted with this same aspect in themselves. There may be great desire for change, yet has the impetus for action not arrived. I urge you to create your own impetus now based on what you know about your self, about your situation, your desires, and your deepest needs. Your impetus must come from your inner spirit’s yearning for recognition and your acceptance of it as your new partner in your life. This requires a new love and appreciation of the self.

A compassionate and yet unrelentingly focused self must now come forth in order to procure you a place in this energetic time of prosperity for the human race. You are all being given the opportunity to engage in this changing time. You are all being asked to participate in a global outreach that will have the possibility to shift the way that the human race lives and acts towards every being upon that earth.

But such a sweeping proposition of real change will not happen if you, each individual, does not make a commitment to change the self. How can you aid in the global energy of change if you have not dealt with your own inner energy? How can you understand global compassion if you have not processed what compassion of self means? How can you propose to others that they change if you have not asked the self to change first?

Each one of you must engage in change in order for greater change to occur in the world. Ask the self to face the fears that block your own energy from true emergence. Ask the self to wrestle with the problems that keep you caught in your old habits. Ask the self to truly participate in a new life now.

I know you are all good people with solid values founded in goodness, compassion, kindness, love, and many more fine qualities. But I urge you to consider your fears as your biggest blocks to growth, for they keep you from your true potential.

Do not be afraid of what awaits you as you confront these fears, for it is but life; life on many levels; life as energy; life as eternal, and life as impetus for further growth. Perhaps that is all you need to get you started on your true journey, simply the prospect of the energy of life, ready and waiting for you to tap into it!

NOTE: We were, very generously, given tickets to hear the Dalai Lama speak yesterday at Town Hall Theatre in New York City in a dialogue with Mary Robinson, the former President of Ireland. One of the topics he stressed dealt with the idea of oneness as being the answer to addressing many of the problems in today’s world. As he pointed out, there can no longer be a we and a they in the world; there can only be a we, and that the world is too interconnected for us to be so divided. If we begin to think of us all as one then we can begin to understand and live compassionately. I think in Jeanne’s message today she is asking us to address our divided self, the we and they aspects that keep us from our true self, and to learn compassion for these interconnected aspects of self. Then we can bring what we have learned into the world outside of us. -Jan

Chuck's Blog

#494 Chuck’s Place: Codependency-Tending the Self

Welcome to Chuck’s Place, where Chuck Ketchel expresses his thoughts, insights, and experiences! As I pondered various possible topics this morning, it was Jan who suggested to me that I explore the dynamic of the projected self and codependency. I was struck by the suggestion that all projections result in codependent relationships, a fact I hadn’t contemplated before. Thank you, Jan!

The term codependency has stood the test of time, at least by modern standards, still finding relevancy and usage after twenty plus years. A product of the alcoholism field, the term codependency was coined to describe an addictive disorder in its own right, which manifested in people attached to an alcoholic. The essence of this addiction was an obsession to control the behavior of the alcoholic. Since that time this dynamic of codependency has been broadened to include attachment to all types of dysfunctional people whether they be alcoholic, chemically dependent, rageaholic, workaholic, sexaholic, physically abusive, etc,.

Building upon the dynamic of projection, which we have explored from many angles in past weeks, we can now study the relationship of projection to codependency. All projection creates a codependent relationship. Broadly speaking, when we project we are placing a vital part of ourselves onto another person. This happens, of course, quite outside the province of consciousness: we don’t choose to project, it happens, something within the psyche elects to, literally, give away a part of ourselves to another. By this action the very boundary of who we are is extended to include another person, though we remain totally unaware of this extended aspect of self. What an incredibly vulnerable position this puts us in. How can we be certain when that person goes into the world, beyond our reach, that we will be okay? This can be the source of overwhelming fear and anxiety as the threat of loss of self is imminent. This is codependency in action.

The compulsion to track and control the other, our projected self, is paramount to ensuring our safety. Perhaps we have projected the mother within us. We may have been burdened with a conflicted early parental relationship with our own mother, which has resulted in a failure of our internal emotional regulation system to function positively as we struggle to self nurture, self soothe, or feel basic worthiness. This can make it incredibly difficult to be alone. In a desperate search to emotionally stabilize we unconsciously project mother onto another. Since our internal mother image is conflictual, our projected other will reflect these same characteristics. For instance, we will be drawn to an ambivalent, alternately withholding critical person who holds out the promise of loving us. We desperately seek to transform this other into a loving mother to solve our inner conflict so we can become capable of self love. We remain hopelessly bound to serving the needs of our projected mother, which is our attempt to control the other and get them to love us. If our projected mother is an abusive lover, we strive relentlessly to prove our worthiness by making things perfect, to achieve vindication and deeply hoped for acknowledgment. When we fail and are abused, no matter how brutally, we are driven to remain loyal to our projected other, after all, it is a vital part of our self.

Hence, codependency reflects the mandatory need to tend the needs of the self, the projected self. There is no other option. To not do so is to risk loss of self. This is so threatening that in its extreme can lead to murder, in defense of the self. This is the case where abusive, controlling men, for example, who have projected their inner anima onto their partner, could actually be driven to kill their partner, rather than allow that part of themselves to roam freely in the world, disconnected from themselves. In a strange way, death seems the safer solution, as no one else can then touch this vital part of the self; this is ultimate control.

On a more hopeful note, when consciousness recognizes that the desperately sought after other is actually a projected part of the self, perhaps after countless rounds of repetitive dysfunctional relationships, it will become possible to inwardly bring home the gold and transform the conflicted part of the self through the process of recapitulation. This is when we stop trying to change the other and instead turn to changing ourselves. This is a monumental step forward in maturity. Thus begins the true process of tending the self, beyond codependency.

As always, I am open to discussion or comment. Should anyone wish to write, I can be reached via email at: chuck@riverwalkerpress.com

Until we meet again,
Chuck

Messages from Jeanne

#493 What Kind of Tree Are You?

Jeanne Marie Ketchel
Channeled by Jan Ketchel

Dear Jeanne,
Do you have a message for us as we begin a new month upon this earth?

Continue your studies in self-awareness, remaining cognizant also of the world around you. Ground your self, with attachment to your inner self who guides, who knows, and who asks for recognition and trust. Alignment with this inner self is your anchor. Your life in the world around you will flow with greater ease and greater contentment if you allow this inner self to be heard, paying attention to and trusting its guidance and its truth.

Look for better balance now of the two selves, the inner self and the outer self, but look also for direction to stem from your inner truths, your knowing certainty, that continually emerges from within. Your inner knowing self is as the roots of a tree, your innocence its trunk, your outer self its branches, its blossoms, and its leaves. What kind of tree are you at this point in your life, and what kind of tree do you have the potential to become?

Are your roots firmly planted in the right soil for nourishment, with recognition of what they need to remain healthy and full of growth potential? Do you allow them to grow even deeper in the nurturing ground where they seek sustenance and further reaching for that which is beneficial? Are you a sapling blowing in the winds of change, as yet still sensitive and unpredictable in your anchoring placement upon that earth? Will you need replanting, or are you upon the ground that will nurture and allow you to continue growing for many years to come, offering potential for true spiritual and personal growth? Are you prepared to transplant if that is necessary?

Are you a tree that has had to compromise itself, your core too moist and damp, your leaves too weak to hold on as the stiff breezes blow? Is your inner core hollow or rotting because you have not dared to spread your roots to firmer ground, or allowed your branches to reach to the sun of nurturance and happiness?

Are you more firmly planted in a forest of compatible trees with everyone taking only what they need, allowing each the room to grow, to develop, and to spread outwardly and upwardly, while able to be innerly firm, accepting of your own inner strengths and outer beauty?

What kind of tree have you become? Are you covered in vines that have crept up over the years, keeping you caught, sucking your energy, smothering your life? Or are you allowing such attachment to take your sustenance, for your own purposes of decay? Have you acquiesced to your fate of decay rather than invite outside influence to come to your aid?

How do you perceive your self? Are you not another living creature upon the earth who needs everything that the plants and trees need? Do you offer your self good ground for planting your seeds and your roots? Do you understand that your innocence is your core, though it has often become overshadowed by the aspects of self that have come to test you with their challenges, ruling you innerly and outerly, creating a thick bark that may not be advantageous to your true roots or your true beginnings?

In finding your core, in growing strongly from your roots that are well planted, well nurtured, and well drained, will you enable a finer spreading of branches, allowing for exploration into the world outside of you. Your branches are only looking for the light, reaching for the light, seeking only the light, for only the light matters.

Contemplate awareness of self today in this manner. What kind of tree are you? Where are your roots planted? Is your core in alignment with your true abilities and attributes? Is your canopy of branches able to find the light? Are you offering your tree-self all that it needs for true grounding, true inner strength, and true growth?

Now is a time of inner and outer contemplation. Now is a time of growth with potential for shift and change, with opportunity for nurturance, replanting, adjustment, and for both inner and outer guidance to become known and acceptable. Step back from your self and study who you are from the perspective of nature. Be truthful in your assessment of the self as a being of energy and spirit with many needs and many desires.

Are you fulfilling these needs and desires of energy and spirit? Are you attending to these aspects of self? Are your roots receiving nurturance? Is your core acknowledged for its truth speaking, for its strength, for its innate knowledge? Are your branches given access to the light they seek?

With your right ruler in place, with your path chosen, and with your acquiescence to the truth of self as an energy being on a spiritual journey firmly planted, may your physical outer world open up, showing you where to find the light in your life, allowing you to continue growing and spreading both your roots and your branches, with your inner strength holding you firmly anchored and connected to all things.