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Chuck’s Place: Eros Is Not Sex

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What and who is Eros?
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

By one account, Eros is the son of Aphrodite, the goddess of love. Eros is frequently represented as the young, devilish Cupid who pierces his target with the arrow of desire. When Eros strikes, his victim is overcome with attraction and longing for a specific person.

This longing is frequently portrayed in images of blissful sexual union and ecstasy, a supreme state of wholeness and fulfillment. However, real union far transcends sexual intercourse. In fact, for sexual intercourse itself to result in complete union a meeting of spiritual nakedness must also take place, and this requires relatedness. Eros is really relatedness.

Relatedness means connection at a feeling level. To meet another at that level we must be willing to reveal who we really are behind the mask of our attractive persona. As well, we must be able to meet, accept, and value who our partner really  is.

If we impose our needs, expectations, and appetites upon our partner we are not related, we are entitled, and our partner generally feels burdened, pressured, and not met. Entitlement breeds alienation, the opposite of Eros, which seeks deep connection.

When we share our fears, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses with our partner, as well as the pain and humor of our human cluelessness, Eros is activated. When we tune in with attention and sensitivity to our partner’s revelations of their felt flaws and guarded secrets, Eros draws us closer, deepening our connection.

When we acknowledge our carnal lust and desire but temper it to meet where it is truly possible to meet at this time, Eros rewards our restraint and sensitivity with deepening soul contact. This is the pathway to relatedness and genuine love.

It’s always been possible to overpower and take what one wants. This kind of exchange will never result in love. Love requires respect. Without respect the soul retreats, Eros flies out the window, and love dies.

Important in these times—when the ruling leaders of the world are of the entitled, grabbing what you want ilk—that the true tenets of love be reinforced. Eros is not sex. Eros is relatedness. Relatedness is the pathway to love, and that love might indeed open to blissful sexual communion. But blissful sexual union can never happen without Eros, the god of true relationship.

Relating,

Chuck

 

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: News For The New Year

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Keeping the light alive…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Our blogs will venture into new arenas in 2017. My usual blog, Chuck’s Place, will continue to explore psychological, physical, and social interplays and synchronicities at individual and world levels. Jan and I will occasionally publish a blog on relationships, which we are affectionately naming The Monogamy Dialogues. Finally, I will be adding a new blog entitled Guidance From The Shamanic Line, which will address suggestions to those of our readers who are shamanically inclined and looking for guidance on an energetic dimension.

On that note, I offer this New Year’s suggestion: watch the new Netflix series, The OA. This series is like the shamanic Theater of Infinity, filled to the brim with jolts to the socialization system that keeps us in bondage. Outwardly, the world is rapidly moving into an extraordinary time of bondage with the forces of truth and light held in check. Powerlessness, however, opens up portals of extraordinary discovery. This is what the shamans call shifts of the assemblage point and discovering of the energy body.

In The OA the insinuation of the magical passes of Carlos Castaneda’s Tensegrity is blatant. The extraordinary sense of physical and emotional wellbeing achieved through rigorous practice, as well as a means to accessing the energy body, is beautifully captured. The value of the Petty Tyrant, the victimizer, as the one who forces the captives to lose their self-importance and become impeccable warriors in their intent is clearly outlined. Finally, the collective energy accessed through the magical passes to heal and overpower the dark side is strongly hinted at. These are evolutionary tools in a time of great planetary shift.

Of course, The OA is fiction, but what is fiction anyway but truth reimagined. If it grabs you, it may hold some truths to be discovered. The OA captures truths that are inherent in the human body, simply waiting to be accessed. These are not cognitive truths; these are experiential, energetic truths. And everyone must discover all truth for themselves.

The OA is intense, only go there is you are shamanically inclined. There are many roads to freedom. This is one of powerful adventure, no different from the most shattering of recapitulation journeys. In fact, it’s what the show clearly demonstrates, a recapitulation journey of outstanding impact.

Finally, we all look forward to the publication of Jan’s fourth book in the Recapitulation Diaries series, Place of No Pity, due in late February.

A Happy and Peaceful New Year to all,

Chuck

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Initiation

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Rites of initiation are painful transformations…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Initiation is instinct. Instinct is nature. Nature is the collective unconscious. The collective unconscious is the greater part of all that we are that we don’t know about.

We are born of egg and seed, the program of who we are set at conception. Nature provides initiation to reshape us at our necessary transitions in life, those important moments that are necessary to completely fulfill who we are.

Jung pointed out that our conscious attitude has the choice to submit to fulfilling who we are. On the other hand, if we choose incorrectly the collective unconscious will confront us, first in dream, next in neurosis and, ultimately, if we miss those calls, in the events we encounter in our lives, which will be fashioned to enforce our initiation.

Ancient tribes were closest to nature’s imperative. The great transition from childhood to adulthood was required by all through participation in initiations of severe torture and deep mystery to enact a shedding of the immature child self and the solid formation of a mature adult self capable of taking proper care of self and other.

Our modern world has long lost its connection to and respect for “primitive” initiation rites. On a global scale the results of this lost connection are evident in the puer aeternus leaders caught in the immaturity of their preadolescent sex and power games.

As a world, we are increasingly engulfed in a world of addiction. Ultimately, addiction is preadolescent fixation on dependency and power and, at the same time, an attempt to challenge the self to transform by going too far. Sometimes that leap is fatal. Sometimes it leads to consequences that awaken spiritual transformation and transition into adulthood.

One thing is certain, though we may refuse the call to initiation it will find us in some form in this modern world of ours. Our leaders are definitely creating the conditions for worldwide transformation right now, though they have no idea what nature has in store for them.

As individuals, if we search the truth that resides within us we will identify the initiations we are ourselves in the midst of. If we can join our intent with nature’s intent to become who we truly our, we free ourselves from the victim mentality that rages against the harshness of our initiation and solidify into the mature adult beings we truly are meant to become, marching toward fulfillment at last.

No easy road to freedom,

Chuck

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Heading For The Morass

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“Man still hopes, in a primitive way, that not knowing, not naming, not seeing a danger would remove it.” (C. G. Jung in a letter to Cary Baynes in 1959)

Would that I could ignore all that threatens about us as we prepare to celebrate the ancient archetypal imperative to bring light and hope to the tree at the time of the Winter Solstice. Ignoring, however, does not remove the threat of the light going out. How then can we name the truth and preserve our little candle of hope? We must begin by knowing and naming what really is.

The great morass…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

The drums of war are pounding. The tribes are choosing sides. Power is about to transfer. The period of stability and stalemate with all its matriarchal inclusiveness is about to be torn asunder. The burgeoning patriarchal energies of the collective unconscious, seeking advance domination and plunder, like an active volcano, are about to erupt.

Though at first glance it all appears to be in the hands of the patriarch, I would propose  it is actually but an unconscious male couvade (sympathetic male labor pains) mimicking the action and intent of the dark side of the Great Mother as she reshapes her creation, planet Earth.

This, I believe, is the light of our salvation. Mother Nature, who reigns supreme, is both using and depotentiating her wayward son, the male patriarch. Violation of nature’s law can only be met with its natural corrective. Ultimately, Mother Nature has all the power, even over the consciouness she created but which has abused its privilege.

The destructive energies of the collective unconscious all ultimately issue from Mother Nature herself. Man deludes himself when thinking he owns these powers. Mother Nature delights in the delusions of this drunken frenzy of ego inflation unfolding before us. Destruction is painful and dangerous, yet all birth is dangerous and unkind to the mother’s body. That new and better life is the result is the light and hope frequently associated with a savior being born at this time of year.

That the savior is always the son of a virgin reveals that what issues forth is indeed of Mother Nature alone, parthenogenetically brought forth from her body, her appendage, without male fertilization. The “new man” will be of her determination alone, her concoction, better fashioned to serve her ultimate goal of new life, better suited to manage her creation.

And so, from the great morass of the coming time will emerge new life to lead us onward. We lend ourselves to this cause by staying connected to the truth and not exhausting ourselves in premature labor. As they say, let the games begin! Save your energy for when it will be truly needed for genuine transformation.

In the meantime, stay present and in awe of the majesty of life that continuously fills us with love and compassion.

Intent on keeping the flame lit,

Chuck

Chuck's Blog

Chuck’s Place: Thinking, Feeling, Relationship

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Thinking… Feeling…
– Photo by Jan Ketchel

Thinking and feeling are two diametrically opposed psychological functions. Although they share a judging characteristic in common their methods of assessment are very different.

Thinking is an analytic process that breaks down what it perceives into component parts which it then logically compiles to explain why things happen as they do in reality or how to make specific things happen in reality. Thinking freezes reality, like taking a picture, and then fragments this static image into component parts. Thinking defines itself as capturing objective reality and rendering it knowable through its abstract vocabulary of thoughts.

Feeling, in contrast, assesses reality based on a subjective energetic reaction that registers in the body with an emotional affect defined as feeling. Thus feeling would look at an object in the world and decide if it had value based on the feeling it evoked when perceived through the senses. Whereas a thinking person might be drawn to purchase a picture based on the success of the artist and the quality of the craftsmanship, a feeling person might reject the painting because it elicited a feeling of boredom or distress. “How could I possibly have such a depressing painting in my home. I don’t care what it’s worth, it’s worthless to me!”

Feeling, in contrast to thinking, stays connected to the dynamic whole of a person or a scene. In order to make its assessments it needs access to a fluid interconnectedness with another being. In fact this allows feeling to continually refine its assessments, as it may change its feelings about someone or something as it experiences them more fully in different situations.

In the area of assessing human relationship, thinking and feeling, as might be expected, approach things very differently. Thinking might determine that a potential partner makes sense if they share similar interests, educational backgrounds and hold compatible goals. In contrast, feeling might value a more instinctive reaction of attraction to a potential partner to determine the worthiness of pursuit. Clearly, both functions have their legitimate place in such a significant enterprise as pursuing a relationship.

Many a relationship has failed because a purely instinctive basis does not offer enough to meet the requirements of a fully committed relationship. On the other hand, a purely logical choice of partner that adds up fully on paper but lacks an instinctive connection is destined for serious trouble.

Clearly, thinking and feeling both have their valid contributions in deciding upon a serious commitment in relationship. Sometimes it’s wise to table the feeling and listen to the mind, sometimes it’s wise to stop thinking and follow the program of the feeling.

Though inherently oppositional in nature and function both thinking and feeling have a valid place in decisions of relationship and ought each to be consulted and given their due. Thus with Descartes we might agree: I think, therefore I am, but add: I feel, therefore I am alive!

Thinking and feeling,

Chuck