The first step in taking the recapitulation journey is to acknowledge that something is wrong. Statements and questions like the following might indicate the need for deeper self-exploraton:
I don’t fit in.
I’m not really here; my body walks around but I’m not in it.
I don’t feel safe.
I’m always afraid.
I just want to be normal.
Why can’t I just be like everyone else?
Why do I feel so different, isolated, lonely, angry?
Why can’t I trust anyone?
Why do I feel so ashamed, so guilty, so invisible and unimportant?
What am I always apologizing for?
What is wrong with me?
Recapitulation is not just for the recapitulation of trauma or physical or sexual abuse; it is a process that can be utilized to clear up and clean up any negative energies or beliefs that may hamper fuller living. From the point of view of the Shamans of Ancient Mexico it is a prerequisite to higher learning and exploration.
How can we move on into new positive life experiences if we have not completely shed the negative aspects of our old life experiences? Our experiences of happiness, contentment, and calm balance will be fleeting or short-lived until we acknowledge that something is seriously wrong, that in spite of how far we have come in life we are slowly dying a little bit each day at our deepest core.
Once we acknowledge that something is seriously wrong with us the next step is to accept that it’s okay to have something wrong; in fact it might be quite helpful. No one is perfect or is expected to be perfect, in spite of what you may have been taught. The things that we’ve been taught and the voices that have ruled us our entire lives might be the first things to look at closely as we contemplate beginning a recapitulation.
A simple nonthreatening process might entail noticing how often we refer to or repeat things that we were taught as we were growing up. Are those things true today? Do we really believe them? Are they relevant to now? What are the messages I constantly repeat to myself? Who told me I couldn’t do this or that? Who made up the rules that rule me? Who’s voice do I hear in my head telling we what to do, how to think and how to feel? Who’s voice controls me?
Recapitulation asks us to face our issues and, yes, that is a painful process but we will never be free if we don’t fully encounter and go through all that keeps us bound to lives of stagnancy, negative self-talk, repetitive behaviors, pain and depression.
In acknowledging that there is something wrong with us, we must also accept that everything can be fixed, that where there is a wrong there is a right. And the personal commitment to fixing the wrongs and finding the rights is the healing journey of recapitulation.
Remember, you’re already a survivor. You can get through anything; you’ve already proven that just by growing up with all of your defenses and protections in place. Now it’s time to go on to a new level of living, growing beyond the old stuff that is no longer really working for you. Your strengths and abilities do not need to be tested; that’s already been done. You just need to reframe them into positive attributes as you now concentrate on healing you!
We live our whole lives in our physical body, housing our mental, emotional and spiritual selves. It’s important to make our body home of self into someone we really love and respect, someone we want to spend the rest of our lives with. Recapitulation can get us there.
It’s a fascinating journey,